Homer loves Mindy simmons
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Flashback – Ben – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow
Hells bells, Elena wanted to look at my ribs! I sure the hell wish I could have continued to lie to her about my injuries. I wondered if I had a tell (like a bad poker player) that indicated when I lied. I needed to get Jack alone and grill the hell out of him on this because my lies failed too often.
Elena came over beside me and continued her orders, "Okay Ben, let's get that shirt off so I can look at those ribs."
I started to take off my shirt when there was a deafening explosion which made my ears ring like the Moscow Church bells on Pascha1 night! The next thing we knew the Krokodil juked around like a bat out of hell. Because she wasn't restrained, Elena slammed into the wall away from me which knocked her ass out (that will teach her to not stay in her fucking seat), the pilot juked the other way, she slid back toward me so I reached out, grabbed her and held on for dear life even though I felt like my ribs were ripping a hole into my chest. I smelled something bad and then Jack swore.
Flashback – Jack – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow
There was a huge fucking explosion, the helicopter lurched and my ears rang like a son of a bitch. I figured out we were hit by something. The pilot started acrobatic maneuvers and thank God Masha was strapped in otherwise she'd be bouncing around the cabin like Elena. Banzai grabbed Elena after she first bounced off the far wall to keep her from getting beat up more than she already was. But even restrained, Masha looked green as hell and stated, "Jack I'm..."
She never finished because she puked...
I swore at the pilot, "What the fuck do you think you're doing up there, you made my fiancée puke!" I wasn't so sure the pilot wasn't showing off and giving us an E-ticket ride. I held on to Masha and started to make deals with God...
Flashback – Ben – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow
Son of a bitch! That wasn't pleasant! Masha puked because of the acrobatics of the Krokodil and some of her puke just hit me in the fucking face! I couldn't do anything about it because I would have to let go of Elena and there was no way in hell I was going to do that until the acrobatics ended.
I couldn't hear shit but it looked like Jack, the old fart, was praying. I guess Jack didn't know shit about the Krokodil because unlike the Hueys, Loaches or Blackhawks we rode in, the Krokodil was basically a flying tank. Oh yeah, they sometimes got taken out with high end manpads, but because we were still flying, albeit like a drunken bat out of hell, instead of crashing and burning, there was no apparent damage to the Krokodil.
I was impressed as hell with the pilot - he could fly the shit out of this Krokodil! This wasn't an easy feat considering it weighed over 18,000 pounds empty! I couldn't hear it but I sure could feel the vibrations of the 12.7 mm Gatling gun as it fired - I swear I could even feel some rockets being fired. Damn the gunner was ripping them a new asshole. It reminded me to check if the Russians had some sort of higher caliber (bigger than 50 caliber) sniper rifle. Since this was Russia I figured I owed the pilot and gunner a couple bottles of premium Beluga or Imperial vodka because unlike America, gifts of appreciation were freely given and freely exchanged.
The flight finally leveled out and I could only assume we were headed toward Moscow again. My chest felt like it was on fire and I had some trouble breathing. I knew I was in trouble when I coughed (which hurt even worse) and some blood came out of my mouth. I quickly covered my mouth but it was too fucking late.
Flashback – Masha – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow
I was so embarrassed! Because of the big explosion which precipitated the wild flying of the helicopter pilot and my possible pregnancy, I became nauseous and vomited right in front of my wonderful Jack. He became very angry and yelled at the pilot.
The wild flying ended, my ears slowly began to work again when Jack pointed at Ben and said, "Masha, something is wrong with Banzai. He has blood coming out of his mouth."
Ben continued covering his mouth with his free hand and yelled, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine."
However he was paler than I'd ever seen him, his face showed great pain and he did have blood on the hand which was over his mouth. I looked at Jack and stated, "I should look at him, but I'm not going to get out of this seat and harness until we know the attack is over."
Jack yelled to the pilot, "Hey, Banzai and Elena were injured back here by your crazy assed flying. Is there any chance you can avoid the acrobatics so my fiancée can check both of them out?"
The pilot yelled back, "I was trying to avoid the RPGs the Chechen bastards were shooting at us. They surprised us with the first one that hit us but made them miss with the other two. We took all of them out, but I can't promise we won't need to perform evasive maneuvers again."
Ben forced a smile and said...
Flashback – Ben – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow
There was no way in hell I was going to let a possibly pregnant Masha get out of her harness and seat to come check my medical condition. Especially since I already knew what was wrong with me - one of my broken ribs punctured a lung. I knew because it felt like I had a searing hot knife in my side and if I moved, it felt like the imaginary bastard holding the imaginary knife twisted it. I smiled at Jack and Masha and said, "Masha there's no way in hell that in your condition you're getting out of that harness so sit back and enjoy the rest of the ride because I'm going to be fine."
Masha began to argue, "But Ben you probably..."
After having Masha lecture us earlier, it was my turn to get on my high horse. I interrupted, "Masha shut the fuck up and Jack don't you dare interrupt me or I will kick your ass. We all witnessed what happened to Elena who foolishly got out of her seat. Now you would risk your child by doing the same damn thing? Masha I already feel bad enough about killing a friendly but if you got out of your seat and lost the baby because of it, I could never forgive myself. I know exactly what's wrong with me: One of my broken ribs punctured a lung. Masha with the equipment we have on the Krokodil there's nothing you can do for it. So keep your ass in that seat and keep your harness on."
Jack looked at me and questioned, "Shit Banzai, I'm the one who broke your ribs when I landed on you so is there anything that I can do for you?"
I thought for a moment and answered, "Jack, if you can do it fast enough and carefully enough, it would be nice to get Elena back into her seat and harness because holding her hurts like a mother fucker."
Jack looked at Masha and Masha cautioned, "Jack, we don't know the extent of Elena's injuries so please be gentle with her when you move her." It was touching as hell that the old fart asked her 'permission' to get out of his seat. If I felt better I would have given him a ration of shit about 'the old ball and chain'.
Jack unhooked his harness, slipped over by me, gently picked up Elena, took her to her seat and strapped her in. He came back by me, leaned down and whispered, "Are you really going to be okay?"
I grabbed his hand and said, "We don't have a choice. We don't have the equipment here to treat this so the faster we get me to a hospital the better."
He gave me a strange look, went back to his seat, strapped himself in then began to whisper to Masha. I considered complaining but decided it was wiser to save my energy...
Flashback – Glen – At the military hospital – interview with the JA
When I came back into the room it woke Evelyn up and she asked, "Now where did that nice JA go?"
I knew I needed to keep her in the hospital for the treatment program so I suggested, "He left to talk to Jennifer. How about you and I go grab a cup of coffee in the cafeteria?"
She gave me a loony drunk smile and slurred, "Glen, that would be so nice."
I judged by her condition that she couldn't walk without help, so I went over and offered her my arm. She grabbed my arm, stood up and I assisted her to the cafeteria.
Flashback – Jens – At the military hospital
I'd just finished assessing my body when there was a knock on the door and HE walked into my room holding a bouquet of roses. He ran his eyes over my body like he was looking at a piece of meat and as a result, even though I was in a sports bra and yoga pants, I felt like I was naked. I quickly grabbed my scrubs, put them back on and demanded, "What the heck are you doing here?"
Robert (you do remember he pronounced it Rooo-bear don't you?) laughed like the imbecile he was and replied, "I came by to see how my little prima ballerina is doing. I do have to say, I liked what I saw when I first walked in."
I glared at him and snidely replied, "What the heck! I'm certainly not your little prima ballerina!"
He smiled at me, licked his lips and regrettably informed me, "I guess you didn't hear that I got the part of Prince Siegfried. So we will finally, after all these years, be dancing together. But I guess you didn't hear the other news."
Shoot, since being in this hospital I hadn't heard any news and Roooo-fricken-bear had piqued my interest. However I feigned boredom and replied, "Oh, I'm sure it's nothing important."
He laughed his imbecilic laugh again and informed me, "Nothing important? You my little prima ballerina don't know what you're talking about. Olga has arranged for the heads of several professional ballet troupes to attend the performance."
I almost swore but held my temper, "Stop calling me that!"
Robert grinned at me and teased, "What? You don't like it when I call you 'my little prima ballerina'. Well that's what you are because I'm going to ride you to the top."
The sexual connotation of his comment offended me (and also his added hip motion when he said the word ride) so I reminded him, "Have you forgotten what happened the last time we danced together?" (If you don't remember, he put his hand on my privates and I kicked his rear!)
Anastasia
- 18.04.2021
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