The Grim Reaper: Adventures In Southern Law EnforcementChapter 22: The Next Chapter free porn video

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Kelly slipped out of bed before the midnight nurse came through and changed into her jeans and t-shirt from earlier in the day. Sleeping with me must have cured her nerves, though, since she slept right through both the midnight and four o’clock check-ins. In the morning she left to go home and go back to Matucket State. As she did, though, she whispered that as soon as I was better, and classes were out for the summer, we were taking a parents-only vacation and that when I was researching it on the Internet, the words debauchery and depravity would not be considered a negative. When I got wheeled into surgery I was smiling, and not just because of the happy juice they had started me on.

I woke up mid-afternoon with Kelly sitting in a chair next to my bed. “How you doing, Grim?”

I smiled at her. “Not as good as I was last night.”

Kelly blushed and said, “Ssshhh! We’ll end up in the prison ward downstairs!”

“As long as it’s a conjugal visit, I’m game.”

“Behave. The doctor said he’d be along to talk to us.”

I nodded. I now had some new hardware, a cast on my left leg from the knee down to my foot. Before the operation I had been told that after they sewed up the partial tears, my foot and ankle would need to be immobilized for at least a month. After that, I would begin physical therapy and rehab. Hopefully, I would be able to lose the cast before we took that adult vacation Kelly was thinking of.

An hour or so later the surgeon showed up. The surgery had been successful. I had four partial tears to various ligaments and tendons on the back of my left leg; all had been repaired. I would probably be able to leave the hospital on Wednesday. Now it was just a matter of rest and recuperation while they healed. With any luck at all, the cast could come off in a month. My final recovery would take at least another two months of therapy after that. Then I would be restricted to light duty of some sort for at least another month. I was out of work for three to four months, minimum.

Kelly left right after that to get the kids settled into Jack’s house. They had stayed the night at my parents’ and Mom had taken Riley to school. Kelly had been lucky in that the week of the 19th through the 23 rd had been Spring Break for Matucket State; she hadn’t lost any time at school. The kids, on the other hand, had missed an entire week. That wasn’t a big deal for Seamus, who was still in day care over at Matucket State, but Riley was in the first grade. She promised to call later, but when I reminded her I still didn’t have a phone, she simply shrugged and kissed me good-bye, and promised to stop by Verizon and pick one up for me.

Hank Jenkins and Josh Washington visited Tuesday afternoon and filled me in on what was going on in the investigation. As expected, the FBI and the US Attorney swooped in Monday morning with a court order and took over. All the physical evidence, and there was a ton of that, was packaged and sent to the main FBI lab in Washington. The bodies weren’t so easily shipped off, so the FBI sent over a medical examiner to work with the Matucket medical examiner. My home was no longer going to be FBI property and was released back to us. Hank told me that he had called my father to let him know.

“We’ve already got some of the results back from the autopsies,” said Josh. “You were right, they had body armor, and good body armor at that. That’s why the first guy you shot didn’t die. You hit him a glancing blow on his front chest plate and simply knocked him off his feet.”

“So why didn’t that happen with the second guy? I swear, I was shooting center mass.”

Hank answered, “Yeah, you did it right. They found the bullet track and cracked plate on the first guy, and it was right here.” He indicated a spot on the right side of his chest. “The second guy was just sheer dumb luck. The angle must have been slightly different, and you caught him under his right arm and the bullet went through the Kevlar without hitting a plate. It just rattled around inside him and ripped out both lungs and his heart. He was dead before he even dropped.”

“Damn! Anyway, when I saw the first guy sit up, I decided to take head shots instead. I couldn’t see any helmets.” They nodded in understanding. “Any more word on the weapons?”

“Nothing you don’t know already. ATF has the serial numbers and is running them down. We’ll probably know by the end of the week. Your friend Delahoye is feeding stuff to Crowley. Not sure whether it’s sanctioned or not, but it’s not like we’re talking, anyway,” said Hank.

Josh smiled. “One of the geeks in the forensic unit took all the audio and video and tied it all together, made a really cool video from it. He apparently ran the digital versions of the video from your alarm system and from your gun camera and synched it with your live feed from your microphone. It’s like a video of the entire engagement! Seriously cool. The Feds were very impressed, they were talking about using it in training.”

“Huh.”

“When are you out of here?” asked Hank.

“With any luck, they send me home tomorrow. After that, though, I am on the injured reserve list until the summer.” I gave them the breakdown on my condition. I could see them looking at each other; with me out for months, they would have to name somebody else as interim tactical commander. “Put Virgil in as my replacement. We can’t wait around for me to come back.” Virgil Smith had been in TRT almost as long as I had and was very good.

Hank nodded. “Makes sense. I’ll let everybody know you’re getting out of here tomorrow. The Feds want to do a joint interview-slash-interrogation.”

“I’m moving into my brother’s place in West Springs until they rebuild the house. We might as well do that out there. Tell the lawyer to come over on Thursday and then we can do the interview on Friday.” I gave them the address.

Dad was assigned to pull me out of the hospital on Wednesday, since Kelly had classes and Mom had to work. I was going to be hobbling around on crutches for a month or so, which was just as much of a pain as it had been when I had needed them as a teenager. First, we drove over to our house, where we met with the contractor he had suggested. The bulk of the damage had been done to the back and side of the house, in the master bedroom area and Seamus’ room. He gave me an itemized list of what needed to be done and when. He could begin the demolition portion of the work immediately, which consisted of tearing down the remains of the shed and junking anything inside it, along with stripping off the siding and the shingles. There was also a fair bit of sheathing and decking which would need to be replaced, and inside there was sheetrock damage. He could order the materials needed, though he needed a deposit to order stuff, but could start prepping until it arrived. Dad nodded to me, so I gave the go-ahead and Dad wrote out a check.

At Jack’s I was moving into the den. They had renovated a traditional farmhouse, where all the bedrooms were upstairs. With my crutches and bum leg, that was an accident waiting to happen. Jack and Dad set up a bed in the den; there was a three-quarters bath off the utility room near the kitchen. I was sitting in the living room watching television when Mom and Kelly brought in the kids. They both came running to see me with Boxie romping behind them. That ended with a hundred pounds of Labrador Retriever jumping onto my lap to slurp my face. Then he jumped off, planting all four paws on the pride of the Reaper family as he did so. My eyes popped open, and I began explaining to my wife in a falsetto voice that Mommy-Daddy vacations were unimportant in the future.

Kelly just laughed at me and rubbed Boxie behind the ears. Dinner was simple, hot dogs with mac and cheese on the side. I hobbled into the dining room and Kelly and I told them I would be staying home until I got the cast off, and that they needed to keep their bedrooms clean since Daddy couldn’t go up the stairs to chase them down. Even as she said that I knew it was a lost cause. We had to hope that we moved back into our house before they destroyed Jack’s.

After dinner I simply sat in the living room on the couch, my foot up on an ottoman, while Kelly chased the kids up the stairs to take baths and put on their pajamas. Eventually they ran downstairs to kiss me good night, and then Kelly chased them and Boxie back up the stairs. Ten minutes later she returned and plopped down next to me on the couch. “How are you feeling?” she asked.

“I’m okay.”

“Just okay? How’s the leg?”

I gave her a wry smile. “Like I’m lugging around ten pounds of fiberglass. Why?”

“No reason. Maybe I just worry about you.”

“Well, you can stop worrying for a few months. I’m probably out of work for three months or so.”

“Oooh, I get a househusband!”

I laughed. “You bet! I’ll be here when you come home after a hard day of slaving over a hot laptop. A gourmet meal will be waiting, and I’ll be wearing a slinky black cast.”

Kelly laughed hard enough to start coughing. “That I will have to see!”

“You’re going to have to do something about my pants, babe. I can’t wear cargo shorts for the next month.”

“I bet I can do something about your pants right now.”

I heard a clatter upstairs. “And I bet you probably shouldn’t.”

Kelly groaned and went up the stairs to see who was up and about. I decided it was a good time to hit the bathroom, so I grabbed my crutches and levered myself upright. I made it to the bathroom and back in time to find Kelly returning. “Seamus needed another story read.”

I nodded. Kelly came over and sat next to me. “So, what about your pants?”

“Remember when I had the broken foot in high school? Mom had to let the seams out of some of my pants, so I didn’t have to wear gym shorts to school.”

“Didn’t you have to tie them on with laces or something?”

I described what we had done, and she decided to take a couple of pair of pants over to my mother. That brought up the need to go over to the house and bring back some clothes. She decided to meet me there at lunch tomorrow. Since it was my left foot that was in the cast, I was reasonably certain I would be able to drive over there. Then I realized my car was still at the house. Kelly would need to pick me up and drive me over first.

A few minutes later, Kelly leaned over and licked my ear. “I’m starting to feel very nervous again.”

“Really? Like the other night?” I asked, smiling.

“Even worse!”

I gave her an innocent look. “Should I call Doctor Shemel?”

That caused my wife to break down in laughter. “I don’t think he’s going to provide the treatment I need.”

“Well, I’d hate to see you continuing to suffer if I could help. It’s just the kind of guy I am.”

“You’re so wonderful. Come on.” She stood up and tugged my hand. I grabbed my crutches and she helped me to my feet. I took a final trip to the bathroom and then headed towards the den. Kelly had turned down the covers and was sitting on the bed pulling off her shoes. “It’s a little smaller than our bed, but it was all they could fit in here.”

“We’ve got a king size. This is what, queen?”

“Smaller. Twin.”

“We’ll just have to sleep closer to each other.” I told her.

She smiled at me. “I certainly hope so.” Kelly helped me with my pants, which was not all that sexy, since everything needed to be pulled down over the cast. Then I crawled under the covers. She undressed next, saying, “When we pick up some clothes at the house, I’ll need to bring over some stuff to sleep in.”

“Maybe I could help you pick out a few things.”

“Maybe you could.” Then she turned off the lights and slipped under the covers with me. It turned out the bed wasn’t too small so long as we stayed close to each other.

Over the next few days, I met with the PBA lawyer and then with the joint FBI-MPD interview team. Otherwise, I was on medical leave. I helped Kelly bring some stuff back and was able to drive my car. Meanwhile, not much happened. The kids got used to staying at Uncle Jack’s and Aunt Teresa’s, Boxie got used to his new yard, and Kelly and I got reacquainted. I did what I could as househusband. It was boring.

Just when the national interest in Matucket County was beginning to wane, somebody leaked the video that had been generated from the firefight. Nobody knew whether it was from the Feds or us, but a video of me killing a bunch of terrorists was like catnip to reporters. The department was inundated with more requests for interviews. The worst part was when Fox News showed it and the commentator excitedly declared, “Wow! This guy’s a professional assassin!” Great! I was now a hired murderer! The department put out a statement protesting this and characterizing the comment as slander and defamation, but nobody cared. MSNBC ran the statement and roundly denounced Fox News, but that was it. Fox News ignored the complaint.

Also ignoring the situation was the President. When Sarah Sanders, the Press Secretary, was asked if President Trump realized that the same police officer who he had complained about six months ago was the police officer who had taken down the terrorists, she had replied, “I am not aware that any discussion was made of that,” and then immediately pivoted to the need for a border wall. In that she was adamant. No matter what the follow-up question was, she ignored it and went back to the demands that Congress fund the wall.

We were able to move back into the house mid-April. Everything looked great, though Riley kept asking what the smell was. It took a bit for us to realize she was smelling the new paint in some of the rooms. The yard was a bit of a disaster; following the firefight half the emergency vehicles in Matucket County had shown up and driven all over the yard, and the mess was compounded with construction vehicles. Everything had been smoothed out and seed and straw had been blown around, but it was still a muddy mess.

Chief Crowley came out at the end of April to talk to me. I got us a couple of beers and we sat out on the deck looking down at the lake. “What’s up, Chief? You look serious.”

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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 33 The Cherokee Bar And Grill

Jim Talbot called me the next afternoon and told me that there was a lively discussion after I left, but that they hadn’t blown me off. I was still being considered by most of the council. He also told me that one of the other candidates had dropped out, citing the council’s inability to get its shit together. That cut it down to me and one other candidate. Sometime next week would be another interview, though that one would be in a smaller setting. What that meant wasn’t specified, but I...

4 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 64 Recovery

Thursday proved to be about as hectic as I expected it to be. By the time the detectives came to see me, I would be the last guy they would be talking to. By that time, they would have already interviewed everybody except the three dead guys, and they would have been autopsied. The crime scene crew would have been all over the last car they had been in, as well as all over the Quiki-Stop. The security videos from the Quiki-Stop would have been obtained, as well as any from any of the...

3 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 31 Fire Team Leader

June 2005-March 2006 The next morning, we were back to the Army in earnest. Most everybody had filtered back, and we began with PT, physical training, including calisthenics and a four-mile conditioning run. I was hurting as bad as any of the other troops. Leave had left me soft. It didn’t matter, since I knew I would be back in shape in a few weeks, tops. Montoya and Gonzalez, the fuzzies just out of Benning, were in decent shape. Riley was coming off leave and was in about the same...

2 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 47 Job Hunting

Nothing job-related came to my attention by Friday afternoon. I speculated what the perfect job ad would look like - “Wanted! Matucket Firearms Corporation has an immediate opening for product design and testing in their Machine Gun Division! Iraqi war veterans with PTSD desired! Call now, operators are standing by!” I remembered that the AK-47 was invented by a busted-up Russian sergeant during World War II. Too bad there really wasn’t a Matucket Firearms Corporation, either with or without...

3 years ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 34 Moving Forward

Hank called me later that evening, laughing about the three chuckleheads, as he called them, and told me that he had told them some more stories. Of course, he kept their glasses full, so it was a profitable conversation for him. He told me that he had told a bunch of war stories about ‘the old days’ and how we did things ‘back then.’ I laughed and invited him and his wife over some night, and to just call me or Kelly to schedule it. Over the weekend Kelly and I goofed off while driving the...

2 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 17 Summer

June to August 2002 The following week we had finals, and that was it. Seniors had to go through graduation, but the rest of us were out for a couple of months for the summer. For me that meant I had about a week of goof-off time before I had to go back to the mill full time. That would take me through all of June and into July, at which time it was back to practice for the football season, running twice-a-days and sweating off about ten pounds under the July sun. Somewhere during that...

4 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 49 Training

October 2007 - December 2007 Mid-October, about when it became obvious that I was going to stick it out and go to the academy, Tim Hungerford showed up at the rickety-bench-with-delusions-of-grandeur that I called my desk. He had a packet of paperwork with him. “Take a break,” he ordered. “You need to look this stuff over.” I looked at him. “Why? What is it?” “It’s the packet from the academy.” “Ah!” I nodded at that. “Let’s take a look. You’ve been through this, right?” Tim nodded....

4 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 59 Back to Work

Monday, May 26, 2008 Certain things worked out for me. The bullshit out of the CORB had gotten pretty extreme, and the Justice Department planned to investigate them and not me. The Review Board wasn’t helped when Pendergast was caught saying that he was hoping for the dissolution of the entire Matucket Police Department and its replacement by a federally supervised police force. That was considered more than a bit nutty, even for hard-core Democrats. In any case, it got me off the hook with...

4 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 27 Returning Home

June 2004 - August 2004 Word came down from Battalion that the rest of Second Brigade would be deploying to Iraq soon. It was expected that they would show up sometime in July, but no dates were available. What they would do then was not known, or at least not known to us down at Camp Custer. Where exactly they would be positioned wasn’t known or might change before they got here. However, one interesting tidbit came out. Fourth of the Fourth was going to get some leave. Over the next few...

3 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 22 Leave

I told my family to stay there, and I would get my gear and catch up to them. Kelly offered to follow me, but I had to explain that women were not allowed in the barracks, no way, no how! Luckily there was a parking lot near the barracks that would allow me to load my gear up. Dad had driven down in the F-150, so we could toss my stuff in the back and then ride home. The ride home was mostly taken up with my parents and Kelly asking me about the Army and my training. What did I do, what did...

4 years ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 21 Bank Robbery

Fall 2023 The summer progressed nicely. I spent a fair bit of time down in Sullivan County and the nearby environs, first analyzing what they had and then developing the options everybody needed to consider. One thing I stressed with them was that by standardizing on similar doctrine, training, and hardware, the SWAT teams created would be suitable for any eventual regional coordination. How the politics would work out was questionable, but it would be easier if the local units had similar...

3 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 41 Abu Dhabi

January 2007 Mom was very upset that I wasn’t going to come home on my leave. She just wasn’t buying my explanation about losing my squad. She wanted me to come home, squad or no squad. I think Dad understood, and he told me that his father understood, but Mom was very unhappy. I had been in the Army now for four Christmases, and three had been spent in Iraq. I didn’t even bother telling her about the incident at Yankee North. One of her latest kicks was, “Are you the only soldier in Iraq?...

1 year ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 28 Remodeling

2026 Riley’s incarceration proved to be as much of a pain in the ass for us as it was for her. One of us had to be her jailer at all times. I told Kelly that I should have taken the Basic Jail Officer course at Athens back when I was taking the Basic Law Enforcement Officer course. On the days I was home I drove her to school and back home. Sometimes it was Kelly who did the duty. When I was away teaching or consulting, and Kelly had classes, either her mother or mine had to take the detail....

3 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 56 End of a Career

I stared at Jerry for a second, and then ran over and knelt next to him. His upper right arm was mangled and bloody, and his face was covered in blood. “Oh, Jesus, Jerry!” I wailed, and then I grabbed the mike on my shoulder. ‘OFFICER DOWN! OFFICER DOWN! OH JESUS! OFFICER DOWN AT MATUCKET AND ELM! ONE-SIX-THREE TO DISPATCH! I NEED BACKUP AND AN AMBULANCE ... ROLL EVERYTHING! OFFICER DOWN!” Dispatch was saying something, but I didn’t pay any attention. “Oh, shit, Jerry, don’t you die on me!”...

4 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 12 The Perfect Game

I couldn’t take any more days off that summer. My time with Kelly was restricted to evenings and weekends, which was probably a good thing, at least as regards to my health. Keeping up with her appetite for sin was tiring! She might kill me, but I’d die with a smile on my face. I did speak to Dad about a temporary dock, and he nixed it, at least for this year. “One, it’s not as easy as you think, or as cheap, or as quick. You won’t get it done, at least not done right, until the end of the...

2 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 4 Matucket Middle School

1996 to 1999 In August, football started up again. Matucket Middle School didn’t have a real football team, only flag football, so I was still playing Pop Warner football. I turned twelve on March 1, so I changed to the Midget League team, the Spartans. At twelve I had jumped over the Junior Midget team, which was ages ten, eleven, and twelve. The Midget team was ages twelve, thirteen, and fourteen, so I could probably play there until I got to high school. I knew Matucket High played real...

2 years ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 14 in Sickness and in Health

September 2022 “How was your trip?” asked Kelly once I sorted out Seamus and Riley bickering about something. “Pretty good. Straightforward, anyway. Just not successful, so to speak.” Kelly gave me an odd look, but before I could answer, the kids started up again. Seamus was teasing his older sister about something. I reached out and grabbed him by the back of the neck and asked, “Do I need to give you a lesson in barnacle clearance?” He grinned at me. “Think you can catch me? I’m not the...

3 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 23 Fourth of the Fourth

September 2003 - December 2003 Dad drove me over to Hartsfield International in Atlanta Thursday morning, sometime around the crack of dawn. Mom stayed at home, which was a good thing, because she spent most of Wednesday night and Thursday morning crying. She was a total basket case, even though I was only going to New York. I didn’t want to be around her when I ended up going overseas. I had to be there early, because I was on a very cheap Delta flight, and you had to be there two hours...

3 years ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 27 Children

Summer 2025 Kelly’s desire that I limit my time with travel and consulting led me to review my finances and priorities. I was doing a week every month in downstate Georgia and the equivalent amount of time teaching at various police academies. I was currently making between $1,000 and $2,000 a month from each of five different police and sheriff’s departments for consulting services and as a retainer. Special projects cost extra. In effect, that worked out to about $85,000 to $90,000 a year...

2 years ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 22 Slave Patrols

Fall 2023 to Spring 2024 After the press conference I had a chance to call home and say hello to the kids. They already had heard I was a supercriminal and in prison for the rest of my life, so I had to tell them I had broken out and would be home later that night. They both promised to stay up to see me, which seemed unlikely to me. We didn’t leave Conover until almost eight. Both Delahoye and Ruskin had run out of things to ask me and agreed that they knew how to find me if they had any...

3 years ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 26 Public Television

2025 There was a nice lounge in the hotel, and we ran an open bar for an hour where quite a few people stopped for a drink or two, swapping stories about Jack, and then heading home. We were flying to Matucket on Saturday, and Teresa chartered a private jet to fly us direct. Saturday morning the funeral director brought back the photos and the video remembrance they had created, all boxed up so that we could load them on the plane. I had suggested to her that Holliman’s was a good place to...

3 years ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 8 Scholar

Tuesday, January 7, 2019 The rest of the semester was a bitch, a stone-cold cast-iron bitch. I don’t know what I had been expecting, but it was just unrelenting work. Maybe it was because I had taken a lot of time on the two consulting jobs or maybe it was because of the time taken up with Tolley’s book project. More likely it was because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing trying to get a doctorate in history. I mean, I knew there was a lot of reading that was going to be involved....

4 years ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 15 Recuperation

Monday, September 26, 2022 Monday was a busy day. I bundled the kids off to school and then called Matucket State. While I didn’t go into details, I had to let her Department Vice-Chair know she was going to be away from work for a week or two. I didn’t know who to call at DARPA or the NSA, but Kelly didn’t talk to them daily anyway; she could handle that chore. Then I drove over to the hospital. By all accounts, I would be able to bring her home that day. First, though, she needed to be...

1 year ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 2 Reunion

It seemed late when we finished dinner. There was a Welcome Aboard talk in the ship’s theater and after that we did a bit more exploring. There were all sorts of stuff on the boat, including a shopping center with incredibly overpriced stuff, a casino, and a bunch more bars, restaurants, and lounges. We walked around the deck and then went back to our cabin, where we discovered it had been made up, the bed turned down, and an odd animal formed out of some folded towels. Kelly decided she...

3 years ago
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The Grim ReaperChapter 48 Administrative Assistant

I was able to get in to see Captain Crowley on Thursday morning. Another young officer, African-American this time, was the one who escorted me in, and this time Crowley had some paperwork on his desk. I got the impression that after this meeting it would be time to shit or get off the pot. Crowley outlined the procedure to apply, and then reviewed the pay and benefits. “Grim, as an Administrative Assistant you make a bit more than minimum wage, but it’s a full-time job and it qualifies you...

4 years ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 38 Coming Together

Things moved along through the summer. At times it seemed as if for every step we took forward we were taking two steps back. Still, some good things happened. Our new Auto Theft Division made a major arrest mid-June. They grabbed a few cars out of the impound yard and fitted them with GPS trackers and allowed them to be stolen. That generated enough information to get warrants on a pair of ‘chop shops’, garages where stolen cars could be taken and stripped for parts. Lieutenant Dupree of...

1 year ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 7 Hold The Line

Saturday, October 20, 2018 There were a number of interesting results from the show. The Matucket County Council protested that nobody was forced out and then began threatening to sue anybody who said so. Nobody listened to them, and they didn’t sue anybody. The FBI issued another statement that Matucket had been an essential part of the elimination of the terrorist threat and that they had never really lost track of anybody. Bo got a couple of interviews where he pushed the law-and-order...

1 year ago
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The Grim Reaper Reaper Security ConsultingChapter 9 Professor Reaper

Fall 2018 to Spring 2019 Thanksgiving was at my parents’ house. Last year it was supposed to be there, but Kelly had inherited it when Dad had his heart attack that week. Another way of looking at it was that Mom gave him a heart attack, considering what the two of them were up to when the event occurred. With all the mayhem I’d been around in my life I’d prefer to check out the way he almost did. Regardless, this year it was at Mom and Dad’s, and it would give us a chance to tease them some...

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