Nandita To Nandini
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Faith, Hope, Mary And Roger free porn video
The items below should give you a more complete understanding of my mind while writing Faith and Hope. This turned out much longer than I originally intended.
What can I tell you? You might have questions if you did not read or understand the first story.
I like to tell stories. I guess I am a storyteller at heart. I usually tell them from the point of view I saw it from. I try to be gentle to the characters in my stories, I try to avoid a graphic description of sex. If this does not agree with your focus in life you are better off to avoid my works.
I like what I post and so do many others. If you do not, I am not going to try to apologize or try to change your opinion. You and I are both entitled to our own stupid opinions. If you feel the need to prove my stories are wrong then write one that is better and prove your points to me. I am old, but I am smrt and can learn. Yes I meant smrt.
Be kind in your remarks and to each other.
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As Faith’s 18th birthday drew nearer and nearer she and I began to speak of her birth mother a little more. We always referred to her by name, Wanda. I asked when she would like to receive the letter that Wanda wrote to her. Faith asked me to hold it for one week after her birthday, just in case there were any upsetting things in the letter.
She has known about the letter for many years. We have spoken about Wanda and I in general terms, but we never went into much detail.
We settled on the weekend following that week, so the birthday and letter would be 2 separate and distinctive things.
As you may have guessed Anna and I did have one more child, a fine young lad who looks so much like his mother that it is amazing. Roger has a slight tint of red to his hair to acknowledge his paternal heritage.
It was not for a lack of trying that we did not have any more. Believe me, we will keep trying.
Young Mary graduated from the local community college with an Associates Degree in nursing last year. She works in the Neo-Natal unit at the hospital and is working slowly toward a BS. She loves her work and has found a young man who she thinks might be the one for her. They are taking it slow.
Hope is a sophomore in high school and makes the honor roll all the time. She is more of a nerd than all the others combined. Time will tell how things end up.
Roger is in 2nd grade and would rather play sports than sit in the classroom. If he lets his grades slip we have threatened to take his sports time away. The grades are staying up.
Anna and I are more in love than ever and extremely happy. We both know we are on the far end of baby making, but we hope for an oops.
Soon after Wanda’s death I sat down and exercised many of my demons by writing my side of the story, to act as a counterpoint to her letters. I had been writing notes about my observations and feelings for years. I depended heavily on those notes as I wrote.
As madly as I was in love with her, I never realized how desperately unhappy we were as a couple. By looking back with a critical eye I now understand why I was so fast to end it all when she ran off with Snake that day at the store. My reaction felt right at the time. I would do it the same way if it happened over, if I had the same information I had then.
Faith had a fabulous party for her 18th birthday, all of her friends came and many of the folks in our small town at least stopped by for a short while. We had to rent the fire hall to accommodate all the activity. The word we put out was everyone was welcome to come but please bring drinks and eats to share with the rest of the world. In lieu of gifts she wished that those who came would bring non-perishable food for the local food bank
The result was over 2 ½ tons of donations. They found it necessary to give part of it to neighboring food banks as well.
Anna’s mother, Mary, was now in a nursing/assisted living home. It was her choice to be there. Her house was not in use at the present time. We were saving it for the children to live in while they each saved for their first houses. Anna thought that it would be a good idea for Faith and me to use it for our time when we talked about Wanda’s letter.
The day arrived and the tension was high. I retrieved the letter and other papers from their place and we walked to Mary’s place.
We held hands as we slowly walked and talked.
I started ‘Wanda and I were so in love back then, we both wanted children so badly. When we had none after 2 years we went to the doctors and they did all sorts of tests. It appeared the she was OK, I was the problem. My sperm were weak and did not swim as well as expected. Wanda felt betrayed, she was desperate to have children. As time progressed she kept telling me she would have her own children, one way or another. She became angry all the time, the insults she hurled in my direction were the toughest thing I have ever had to deal with. We argued all the time about stupid things. I know how madly I was in love with her. She became a fanatic about having children.
I was willing to do almost anything to keep her happy. The one thing I would not allow was for another man to impregnate her. She swore she would do it if she was not pregnant by the first of the year. That time had passed and she became even angrier.’
We had just arrived at our destination. We stood there for a few more minutes and I told her about the trip to the store and how Wanda just disappeared for 3 days. ‘You will most likely understand why I had to tell you these things after you read these. If it is still unclear I will explain further.’
Faith unlocked the door and I handed her 2 letters. ‘Read the one from your mother first,’ I instructed her, ‘and then read the other. It is how I felt around the same time. I have no idea what Wanda is telling you. That is between you and her, do with it what you wish.’
She sat at the kitchen table and stared at the envelopes for the longest time. I went outside and sat on the patio to wait for her signal.
It was just short of 2 hours later when she came out and sat with me, the tears were streaming down her face. She called the breakup ‘…a giant clusterfuck.’
Faith had mixed emotions, she longed to know Wanda better, but she loved Anna her mother and family as she knew it.
I just held her until she settled down. Finally the sobbing died down to a few hiccups and the tears dried. It reminded me of the first time I ever held her. We had talked about our first meeting many times over the years. I guess the thought struck her at the same time it did me. We laughed at the look on each other’s faces as we realized what we were both thinking.
Faith spoke first. ‘After reading both letters about 4 times I am amazed at what you both said. Other than the points of view and the handwriting I could almost swear they were written by the same person. They both said the same things in the same order. The love you felt for each other is evident throughout the letters. The frustration is there too. I understand what you were trying to tell me on the walk over here.’
We went inside and had lunch. As she heated the soup, I made the sandwiches and poured out some chips into a bowl. In the last 18 years I had learned to do that much, but I still could burn water.
She handed me the letter and asked me to read the words:
‘My darling daughter,
All my life I have wanted and needed children. I felt incomplete until I was pregnant with you. You made me complete. I may never know you, but understand that I love you in my heart. You are a part of my soul.
Despite my need to hold you, love you and nurture you, I know that it is not a good thing if I do it. You will need a constant, unchanging hand to guide you through your life. As badly as I long for this, I know it can not be. I can not ask fo
r your forgiveness, only for your understanding that I did what I thought was best for you.
I treated your father badly for the last 2 years we were together. As I look back at the things I did to him, I now understand why he shut me out of his life.
I tried to reduce him to less than a man. I threatened to have a baby by someone else. By all appearances it looked as if I had begun to follow through with my threats. Until you were born even I was not absolutely sure who your father was. One look told me.
The man I left with that evening was not a good person. I only wanted to frighten your father and get him to agree to another approach to becoming pregnant.
I was angry, not really at him, it was not his fault. I took out all my frustration on him. The way I went about all of this was wrong. Oh, how things would have been different if I had been patient.
Your father, Bob, did nothing wrong throughout the entire ordeal. It was all my doing.
I left home with another man, I did not try to contact Bob. I stayed away for 3 days before I came back to him. For the record I did not cheat on him until he did not allow me back inside the house. When I did, I knew it was as wrong then, as I know it is now. The entire time we were separated I longed for Bob’s touch and love. I still do now. At this date after reviewing my words and then my actions I can see why he reacted the way he did.
On the third day I returned to find that Bob had reacted with much more restraint than I would have in the same position. However I did not believe he would react at all. I loved him but I had talked myself out of having any respect for him, I was so wrong to think those things.
I would have taken all the money in the accounts, I would have smeared his name all over town. He only took what was his and did not smear my name to anyone.
When you were born I knew there was something wrong with me, I could feel it.
I KNEW.
It was not my actions that I felt were the problem. It was the resulting STD’s from my actions, I felt sick inside. I felt the AIDS was there long before the tests revealed it.
After everything, especially my misdeeds I did, I could not take you from him. You would not have had any sort of life with me. I knew that I was the lowest of the low, I was unclean and would never be clean again for the rest of my life.
For the first time in years I thought of someone other than myself. I prayed for the wisdom and strength to do what was right for you and for Bob. During the night I awoke from a dream and knew that if I had any love for you I had to leave you to him. I told no one, I just acted. It was the only way I could show my love for either of you, and the only way to pay Bob back for being so kind and generous through all the bad times.
I would not allow the staff to bring you to me for fear that I would change my mind. My heart broke the day I left you in the hospital and moved to another town. Now, I have a small inkling of what I did to Bob. I was the cause of so much unhappiness, I caused my marriage to the most wonderful, caring man in the world to implode. I only hope that my actions are not too little or too late to save you and Bob.
I did not leave you for any other reason than I loved you and always will. To take you with me would have been the unkindest act of all.
Take care of your father and whoever he chooses to replace me, if he does. Remember I will love you until the end of time.
I will sign this as, Wanda.’
I put the letter face down on the table. She had said much of the same things to me in the letters years ago.
I thought back to when I read them, I recognized why her words had sounded so familiar when I read them so many years ago. They were the words in the notes I wrote to remember how I felt after she left. My tears have long since dried, the pain is only a small ache, and only brought back to memory on a few occasions now.
Faith and I spoke and cried until the small hours of the morning, when we fell asleep we were holding each other and talking. I woke the next morning to find her writing how she felt about all of these new things, she had 3 pages so far. I quietly fixed breakfast as she worked. I placed it beside her. Occasionally she would take a bite as she thought, then she went back to writing again.
Around noon she looked up and smiled. She put the papers away and we talked as we prepared lunch.
I heard her say ‘I had a dream last night. A small blond woman came to me in it and said she was to watch over me and guide me. She wanted me to know that she would always look over me and be my guardian. She would come to me from time to time when I need help and offer advice. It was up to me if I wanted to accept her advice or not.’
I reached into an envelope and placed a picture on the table, it was small and yellowed with age.
Faith glanced down and then screeched ‘That’s her!’
Other than at her birth, Faith had never seen Wanda before, I had locked away all the photos of her to save for a day like today. I shared many of them.
Faith and I put our papers away in separate, safe places. From time to time we will talk about our feelings when we are alone with each other. We now have a greater bond with each other than we had before.
Every now and again Faith will come to me and say something like ‘My favorite color is blue. What was Wanda’s?’ Most time they would have chosen the same answer.
One night Faith woke up and came to me with a puzzled look on her face. ‘I dreamed that Wanda came to me and told me to not date Berry tomorrow evening. Should I cancel?’
The next evening Berry was shot by a jealous husband because Berry and the man’s wife were sneaking around together. She was carrying Berry’s child. Berry lived, without his testicles, the wife did not.
Another time Wanda told Faith to skip school that day. There was a small explosion in the science classroom that day. It destroyed three desks near where Faith usually sat.
After Faith finished college, Wanda told her the man she was fond of would propose soon. Faith and I talked about it. She does love him, but wants to wait for a bit to be sure. A month later he proposed and Faith told him how she felt. ‘If you ask me the same question at the end of next year the answer will most certainly be YES. We both need to spend a little more time together before we commit.’ He agreed. He was afraid he might loose her if he waited.
‘You will never loose me as long as we continue the way we are.’
3 years later they had the most wondrous wedding. Anna, Wanda and I approved of her choice.
Faith only dreamed of Wanda a few more times after she married 2 of them were to tell her she when she was pregnant. The last was to warn me I had a small cancer in my lung.
The doctors found a tiny lump and removed it, a few months later it would have been much more involved.
Shortly after our 50th anniversary Wanda appeared to me in a dream to thank me for raising Faith right. As she faded out of my dream she told me to take our Hope to see the doctor to check up for ovarian cancer. She was right. Hope would have to be happy with her 3 children.
Mary and Faith are still the best of friends and closer than most sisters.
As I tell you my story, Anna and I are in our upper 90’s and still very much in love. We have 6 grandchildren and 9 great grandchildren.
We never did have another child after Roger, but every now and again we still try.
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