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Elaine and Rob have been neighbours of mine since, let’s see, it must be at least eight years now. When they moved in we had the usual new-neighbour get-together for a barbeque and a few drinks but since then there hasn’t been a lot of social contact, other than the across-the-fence chat about gardens, home maintenance, and the like. We have had a few dinners together which were enjoyable enough, but only up to a point.

When we first met I couldn’t help but notice the physical differences between the two of them. He was basically a slob. A heavy equipment operator who sits on his ass all day and gets jostled around by his bulldozer, insists on eating meat every day for dinner, drinks a lot of beer during his free time, and, as a result has noticeably developed a large belt-overhanging gut that is repulsive to look at. Aside from all that he’s a decent enough guy, willing to lend a hand or a tool when necessary, it’s just that when he settles into a chair with a beer in his hand he talks, and talks, and talks. It’s never about anything that might be of interest to anyone else because it’s almost exclusively about his job. How long it takes for him to drive to work and back, hydraulic problems with his equipment, a tough area he had to rip through with his Cat. You know the type. Infinitely interesting to himself but basically a crushing bore to almost everyone else.

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