Mike found himself caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place.
The 'woman' on his lap was comatose from emotional strain. She was
total dead weight and Mike was unable to lift her.
His wife was passed out on the floor and he knew if he didn't go to her
there would hell to pay.
Mike realized that to someone just walking into the room, it would be a
very compromising tableau. It wasn't and he needed to put things back
to a normal appearance.
He did the only thing he could think of. He slid his legs apart and let
Phyllis gently slide to the floor where he was between his legs. As
Mike stood up to go to Liz, she chose that moment to regain
consciousness. From her perspective, Phil now had his face buried in
her husband's crotch. This was more than she could take and she fainted
again.
Mike managed to untangle himself from Phyllis and rested her head on the
seat. He went to his wife and carried her to the couch. Then he
hurried to his medicine cabinet and retrieved the smelling salts.
Entering his study, he was at a crossroads. Which patient should he
revive first? If he woke Liz first, she would have a million questions
and an unconscious Phyllis might only complicate things. Actually, the
presence of Phyllis at all would be a problem, so he left his wife
slumbering on the couch and his feminized son-in-law asleep on the floor
while he called for a taxi.
Once the taxi was on its way, he went to Phyllis and gave her a good
whiff of the ammonium carbonate. Phyllis was alert almost immediately.
With Mike's help, he got to his feet and asked, "What happened?"
"It's my guess you had a panic attack, caused by persistent anxiety.
It's either that or you're pregnant." Joked Mike.
Mike's attempt at humour fell flat as Phyllis made a face and said,
"Dad, that's not funny. I'll talk to you later. I'm out of here, I
have patients waiting."
"SIT DOWN! You are in no shape to drive, I've called you a cab. Liz
and I will drop your car off later."
Once he had Phyllis safely in the cab, Mike headed back into the house.
His plan was to wake Liz and explain things. He just hoped that he
would never have to explain why he left them both lying there for so
long, but he prayed that neither of them would have a memory of the
incident.
Mike waited until Phyllis had made a clean getaway before bringing his
wife around. Once Liz was revived, she was shaken at what she thought
she had seen. Without breaking patient confidentiality, it took Mike
the better part of an hour to convince his wife what she had seen was
innocuous. Liz eyed her husband skeptically. But reluctantly accepted
his explanation that Phyllis simply had too much to drink; but made a
mental note to talk with Carol about her husband's daytime drinking. It
was bad enough that her son-in-law was parading around like a tarted up
floozy. There was no way she was going to stand for any hillbilly
romance between Phil and her husband. What would the neighbours think
of her husband being involved with a Hermaphrodite?
@ @ @ @
Despite what he had said to Mike Phil had no intentions of going back to
work. There was no way he could sit and listen to other people talk
about their lives while his was so discombobulated. He went home and
could feel the chill in the air as Carol gave him 'the look'. So he
blew past her with only a nod and locked himself into his bedroom to
settle in for some real soul searching.
When the tantalizing aroma of freshly baked sweet rolls and dark coffee
permeated all the way to his refuge. He couldn't resist and came out to
eat. He sat across from Carol who had the paper spread out on the
table. He held his cup of coffee in one shaky hand. He was not
normally a drinker and he was felling the aftereffects of his alcoholic
consumption. He tried to push through his slight hangover and was
occupied feeding the hot pastry delight into his mouth.
The vibration of his cell phone called for his grudging attention. He
glanced at a text message from his receptionist complaining about the
flood of phone calls from people requesting appointments. She added a
post script that his office was mobbed, it was standing room only. He
was bewildered by his sudden popularity.
His confusion began to clear when Carol showed him the newspaper
article. The San Francisco Chronicle Magazine section had a front page
spread on the area's most successful transgender psychotherapist. It
seemed that he had been selected as the Transgender Person of the Year.
The paper only had a grainy out-of-focus picture of him in silhouette
that made his face hard to identify. However, it did capture him in his
favourite form fitting lilac dress. The paper had an accurate
description of his profession qualification. It didn't elaborate,
rather it tended to focus on as they called it, his 'exquisite figure'
In the past few months, Phyllis had gained a reputation among his
patients and prospective patients as being very competent as well as
being built like a 'brick shit house'. He had been recognized a few
times when he was out and about in public, more often than not it was
his Rubenesque physique rather than his face that people recalled. The
only good news is that he still had his privacy at home. His status as
a man in transition was no secret to his patients or anyone in the LGBT
community, it had become general knowledge among the tightknit
transsexual population. Not that it really mattered much to the general
populace, particularly in San Francisco.
While Phil was not all that concerned about having his secret of being a
feminized male known, it was something that he was perfectly happy to
not bandy about. He turned his attention to the newspaper. The article
didn't identify who he had been before his transition, which was all he
really cared about. However, it did list his office name and address.
The reason for the flood of new perspective patients was suddenly clear.
@ @ @ @
It had come as a total surprise when Carol had shown him the newspaper
article as it wasn't something that he had been competing for and he
would not have volunteered for it if he had a choice. Phil was
honoured; but didn't think much more about it, other than he would need
a new dress for the awards banquet. Little did he realize the life
changing ramifications of his being outed in such a public way.
The practice that he shared with others was suddenly even more popular
than it had been before. While there were requests to see Doctor Brown,
new patients were willing to see his co-workers as long as they had a
chance to consult with him as well. All the publicity had a positive
effect on Phil. He was so busy he seldom had time for lunch, he dropped
a full dress size.
During one of the breaks he was able to get between his appointments,
Phil reviewed messages that had come in while he was busy. The first
was from Josephine Morton who was transitioning from Edward and she
needed some reinforcement in her confidence. Phil didn't mind, that was
his job and he found that he enjoyed helping his patients find their
way. The second message was from a local journalist who wanted an
interview as part of Doctor Phyllis Brown's selection as Transgender
Person of the Year. He told his receptionist to tell the reporter he
didn't give interviews.
Home life settled down. At first, Phyllis was undecided about accepting
the award because he felt like a fraud. After all, his gender swapping
was not voluntary. Mike counselled him against forgoing the honour,
pointing out it might be considered a slight to the LGBT community, one
Phil had come to have great empathy for. Phyllis resigned himself to
the publicity and went to work on his acceptance speech, determined to
be the best transgender representative he could be. The speech would
not be 100% honest, he was willing to stretch the truth concerning his
personal journey from man to woman for the sake of his audience. He was
determined to respect the people who were struggling with their true
gender identities.
Carol forgot about her experiment at masculinity and decided she didn't
want to know why her husband had been frequenting strip clubs.
Believing what she didn't know couldn't hurt her.
Still...Carol attempted to win her husband back. She wasn't overly
aggressive; most nights she was content to simply canoodle on the couch
with Phyllis. Slowly, Phyllis began to respond and on a rare occasion
would even make slow lesbian love to Carol. In her life Carol never
even considered getting romantically involved with another woman. Now
that had changed. Her rationalization was that Phyllis the one person
in this world she loved was for all intent and purposes a woman, but was
still her husband. Phil had always been a considerate lover. Now
things were different. Phil had always treated sex more like a sprint.
Phyllis approached sex like it was a slow waltz. He was more tender and
considerate during love making.
Then there was the other thing. Phil had never been enthusiastic about
oral sex. Phyllis on the other had had become a virtuoso at
cunnilingus. The only problem from Carol's point of view was Phyllis's
low libido. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy pleasuring his wife, it was
that his atrophied flaccid manhood prevented her from returning the
favour. His little man did enjoy his wife's oral manipulations, it is
just that it always left him hanging, felling unfulfilled.
Carol had watched her husbands practice skyrocket since he became a she.
The transgender community flocked to the man with the gigantic tits and
understanding manner. She was jealous as her own medical practice had
flat lined. She saw the transgender community as an untapped gold mind
for her surgical services. Her husbands practice had flourished and she
saw no reason why hers couldn't benefit as well. As the night of
Phyllis's awards banquet approached. She planned to use the gala to get
her name out there. She did not see that her mind-set was still very
much self-oriented. Neither did she stop to think about the fact that
her own actions had caused this state of affairs.
Phyllis was initially reluctant to have Carol join him, in his mind she
was still a bit of a loose cannon. He also didn't like the idea of
flaunting his femininity in front of his wife.
After a lot of reflection, he could see her point so he gave in at her
insistence that they were still a couple and she wanted to share his big
night. Surprisingly, it was Phyllis that brought up the idea of getting
new outfits for the banquet, explaining that he had lost some weight and
wanted to look his best. Carol also had her reasons for wanting her
husband to look as beautiful as possible. The two had a great time
shopping for dresses together, it was a truly feminine bonding
experience.
The only disagreement came over the actual selection of a gown for
Phyllis. He wanted to wear a plain loose fitting formal, to de-
accentuate his exaggerated figure. Carol had a preconceived idea on
what a group of transvestites would wear and argued vigorously for a
form fitting flamboyant outfit that would show off her handiwork. In
the end they compromised. Phyllis selected a drab grey gown with a very
risqu? neckline that plunged halfway to his navel. For herself, Carol
decided on a very feminine pink chiffon lace A-line floor length dress.
The morning of the ceremonies, both ladies had appointments at Carol's
beauty salon. Carol pre-ordered what she wanted for both of them. She
got a Bettie Page cut with bangs cut straight across the high forehead.
Phyllis wanted his hair simply long and flowing down to his shoulders,
but Carol wouldn't hear of it. She threatened to throw a public tantrum
unless he agreed to her selected hair style. There was no way she would
allow him to hide behind a curtain of hair. She insisted he have a
fashionable updo with his hair twisted on top of his head in an
elaborate bun combined with feminine loose side bangs. In Carol's mind,
the purpose was less high fashion and more about illuminating all of his
feminine enhancements she had performed. They both had a total
makeover, Carol having ordered a dramatic look for both of them. As
they were getting dressed for the banquet another disagreement surfaced.
Carol had laid out an assortment of oversized silver rhinestone
jewellery. Phyllis was still disgruntled, and threatened to stay home if
Carol insisted he go looking like a drag queen. Carol temporarily
conceded.
While Carol was finishing her dressing, Phyllis found himself board and
killing time. Surfing the net was always a good time waster, so he
opened the family laptop sitting on the counter. He found that Carol
had not closer her last page, but had only minimized it. Out of
curiosity, he retrieved it to discover that it was a Google search for
the word 'Pegged' a term he was unfamiliar with.
What he read sent him into a dizzying fit of rage. He continued to scan
the page and found himself captivated by some of the testimonials. He
had no idea men enjoyed being penetrated by their female partners with a
strap on. It opened his eyes to some of the things his patients had
only hinted at. His anger settled into dismay. Where had his uptight
church going wife ever heard of such a thing? He decided to talk it
over with Mike before confronting Carol about it. Phil shut down the
machine after clearing the history. Carol came out of the bedroom in
jovial spirits and the two headed out for a night of merriment. Each
grabbed their respective purses and stepped onto their front porch.
Phil was shocked to see a stretch limo waiting in their driveway. It
was a surprise from his wife. With his luck it is probably filled with
male strippers. Carol took him by the arm and led him to the car, the
chauffeur graciously opened the rear door and helped the ladies enter.
On the way to the awards ceremony, Carol snuggled up to her husband and
asked for his wedding ring. A bewildered Phil meekly complied. Carol
then took his ring finger and slipped on her engagement ring saying she
had it resized for him; but after tonight she wanted it back. While her
husband was still in shock, she put two gaudy dinner rings on his other
fingers, saying, "A girl needs a little bling.
Phil was again questioning the wisdom of attending this ceremony. When
he mentioned this to Carol, she was having none of it and sternly
snapped, "Think about our practices, money can't buy this sort of
publicity." To avoid a fight, he gave into her wishes and became
resigned to enjoy his 15 minutes of fame.
The ballroom was festooned with colourful rainbow banners. Carol had
timed their arrival to be fashionably late and the hall was already
crowded. Carol stood at the entrance and marvelled at the sight before
her. She expected a room full of flamboyant swishy drag queens. What
she saw were men in Armani tuxedos and woman elegantly dressed in
fashionable Prada, Gucci, Dior, and Valentino gowns. City dignitaries
were sprinkled throughout the room freely mingling with the avant-garde
guests.
She stood transfixed, a 16-piece mariachi band played in the background
as scantily clad waitresses looking like they had been recruited out of
a playboy club circulated throughout the crowd offering appetizers and
liquid refreshments. As one particularly attractive server with a queen
sized rack passed, Phil gawked in appreciation. Carol stopped the
waitress and procured two champagne flutes off her tray. She gave
Phyllis a look of disapproval and told him to close his mouth. Then she
gave him a big theatrical wink. The quest of honour stood at the
entrance, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot unsure of what to do
or where to go.
A handsome tall tanned man in a well-tailored tux approached, made a
slight bow and inquired, "Doctor Brown?"
"Guilty as charged," was Phil's response.
The man's his face cracked into a wide smile. He shook hands with Carol
and gave Phyllis a two cheek kiss. He said, "Please follow me I'll take
you to your seat." He offered his arm to Phyllis and led them to the
head table. He pulled out a chair for Phyllis and assisted her sitting.
Carol stood stoically waiting for a similar gallant gesture. Instead,
the man spun on the balls of his feet and was immediately swallowed up
in the crowd.
Carol fumed and felt foolish standing by herself. In a pout, she pulled
her chair out and seated herself. She waved for a server and snatched
two drinks off her tray unconcerned of what they were and told the girl
to keep them coming. Carol realized that Phyllis was going to be given
the royal treatment while she was being considered nothing more than a
companion. She was going to need a lot of liquid courage to get through
the night, she sipped her drinks and tried to devise a way to turn the
spotlight onto her skills as a brilliant cosmetic surgeon. After all,
without her none of this would have been possible.
After a few minutes, a couple dressed in formal attire, one in a tux the
other in an ivory lace short wedding gown, introduced themselves as
Shyla and Oliver transgender persons who started life in the other sex,
now man and wife. They led him to the dais, where they took positions
on each side of him. They each had a handheld microphone, they signaled
for quiet. They spent the next 15 minutes in a tag team routine
articulating Phyllis's accolades concerning his work with patients
undergoing gender dysphoria. At the end, he was presented with a plaque
in commemoration of the award.
Phyllis started to return to her seat when Shyla said "not so fast,
little lady." She then handed Phyllis a paper bag with something in it.
A bewildered Phyllis peaked into the bag and blushed crimson. The
woman, in a husky voice, announced to the audience, "In addition to the
plaque the doctor had also won a year's subscription to playgirl
magazine." The crowd appalled politely. Oliver then handed Phyllis
another bag and announced, "To be fair the doctor has also won a
subscription to Playboy magazine."
Now the crowd erupted in applause and laughter.
Phyllis thanked the presenters with a wry smile, put his magazines down
on the podium, and took up the mike. The crowd leapt to their feet and
applauded with great vigor. Phyllis asked for quiet and said, "Thank
you for this award, I honestly don't feel I deserve it; because I'm not
really one of you."
The statement generated a collective gasp from the audience. A hushed
silence then fell over the massive room.
"Why do I say that? Because I never asked to be a woman. Growing up, I
always thought of myself as a man. Sure that at some point, when I was
very young I experimented wearing my mother's clothes. But what little
boy has never done that. I have only disjointed and vague memories as
to why I did that. My awakening to the feminine existence came late in
life. It was a decision that was taken out of my control. In my case,
it was almost like I had a hallucinogenic dream. I just woke up one
morning and discovered I was a man in a woman's body."
He had struggled with what he would say in the acceptance speech that he
knew he would be expected to say. He couldn't just tell everyone
'Thanks' and sit down. He meant what he said when he felt like a poser
in the company of everyone here, but to tell them that he had been
forced into this lifestyle would be a slap in the face. He also could
not lie to them as to how he had come to this. So he fought for a
combination of truth liberally salted with fiction.
"It wasn't something I asked for. It just happened, my first reaction
when I grasped I would be viewed as a transgender woman was fear of
ridicule and rejection, followed by anger and asking 'why me?' I went
to sleep as a normal married man and woke looking like the woman you see
before you tonight. At first, I did not want this lifestyle."
Pointing to the sky he intoned, "I was filled with anger at who or
whatever had made me this way. It is not like any of us had a choice to
being the way we are. I grieved, wanting my simpler, if dull, life
back. In my male existence, I never considered myself to be unhappy.
My life was safe, but not honest. It wasn't until I secured my first
bra, and fitted real breasts into the cups did I realize what happiness
was all about. It took a while before I was able to let go of my anger,
acquiesced and accepted my alter-ego."
Phyllis hefted her boobs up with both hands. "As you can see, my
happiness cups runneth over. I may have dived too deeply into the pool
of joy."
The crowd snickered at the small joke.
"The thought I would someday stand before an assembly of strangers in
high heels, wearing makeup, and dressed in a designer dress was
incomprehensible. Yet here I am and a better person for the
opportunity. This honor overwhelms me. Just being considered a member
of the distinguished body of transgender persons is humbling. Being
selected as the woman of the year is awe-inspiring. Thank you all."
Carol had not heard Phyllis' speech prior to this evening and she knew
that some of Phyllis' comments were about her specifically. Carol had a
bad feeling she wasn't going to like where this was going and threw down
another cocktail.
Phyllis held up the plaque and read the inscription, 'Transgender woman
of the year'. He continued, "Let me ask the question is being
transgender the same thing as being transsexual? For simplicity, a
transsexual is a person whose inner sense of gender identity and brain
patterns are completely the opposite of what physical form they are born
into. We have all heard the phrase "born in the wrong body". This is a
recognized medical condition which is completely unrelated to sexuality
or sexual preference. While a transgender individual is a person who
wants to be able to decide for themselves the gender they which to be
identified with. I appreciate you viewing me being a transgender but
that is not the group I identify with. If anyone asks me what I am, I
will wholeheartedly respond I am a woman. Hear me roar."
"I should mention I have also always been very drawn to women's clothes.
As a man, I was a mere observer, but I can fully participate now. I
feel so much more comfortable in them. You may find it hard to believe
that I even love wearing high heels and corsets. They make me feel so
much more affirmed, so much more myself. I like the flowiness of
skirts, and the cuteness expressed by bows and lace."
Carol smiled and waved a waitress over with her new drink order. She
was feeling no pain and she was proud of the creature she had turned her
husband into and apparently he too was happy with what she did to him.
From what she was hearing, it was obvious what she did was truly
appreciated by her husband. It was like a weight had been lifted from
her soul. For the first time she felt she had been right to turn him
into a woman.
The audience applauded. Phyllis waited for it to quiet down and went
on.
"I was once asked what I liked best about being a woman. The answer to
me was easy, it's big boobs and long hair. I believe long hair
expresses something from inside me; the same flowiness that I associate
with long skirts. I actually think that these things are all somehow
innate to me. My internal gender gravitates to things cute, tender,
radiant, and beautiful. By beautiful, I mean beautiful in the way a
flower is beautiful: radiating beauty; being beautiful for the sake of
beauty itself, not merely as a byproduct of functionality."
"This evening, standing in front of a looking glass waiting to come
here, for the first time in my life I was proud of what looked back at
me. Pride is considered one of the seven deadly sins. However, I feel
proud at not only how I look but at who I have become. For once my
inner self matches my physical form. Let me encourage those of you that
are still struggling between the two inner and outer identities. We are
not alone. Transsexuality occurs in equal numbers across male and
females. Estimates run as high as 1 in 30,000 people are born with this
condition. Only a small portion of those have the opportunity to do
something about their feelings. Looking out at those in attendance, we
seem to be among the lucky few. Let's not use this night to honor me
but rather celebrate who we all are."
"Let me offer you non-transgender individuals this question: If someone
offered you ten million dollars on the condition that you live as the
other sex for the rest of your life. Would you accept?"
The non-trans guests seemed nervous and tended to suddenly acquire an
interest at what was on the floor.
Phyllis continued, "People have varying reactions to this scenario. It
is obvious most have never stopped to think about. It is felt with
varying levels of certainty that most people would not take the money.
Imagine how we in the transgender community feel when we are told we
cannot live the life of our inner personality and must present a gender
not of our choosing."
"For us here, there is always the matter of the body. Most transgender
people dream of having a body that is in accordance with our internal
gender, and they work hard to reconstruct their body in that mold.
Though we do want people to see us as who we really are, I think the
primary reason for wanting to change our bodies is internal. This is
who we feel we are, and gender dysphoria makes sure we never forget it."
"Once I accepted who I was, a feeling what I can only describe as a
sense of euphoria overtook me. Let's have a toast to us!"
His speech produced another standing ovation. Phil let it go on and
sadly reflected on the fact most of what he just said was, if not a lie
a strong distortion of the truth. But if he spoke the actual truth, he
would be disrespecting these good people around him.
Carol stood and the people around her table gushed over what was said
and how beautiful doctor Brown was. In her inebriated state, she just
could not take it anymore. She rushed the stage and ripped the
microphone out of Phil's hand. The crowd paused to watch Carol's
imitation of Kanye West. Coral stepped forward and spoke those fateful
words. "Thank you all. I'm Carol Brown plastic surgeon extraordinaire
and the doctor's wife. I'm the one that made my husband into the woman
he is today."
She started to give her phone number and business location but someone
turned off the microphone so it went unheard.
@ @ @ @
As much as Phil wanted to escape from the ballroom and get home again
where he felt comfortable, manners made him accept requests to attend a
more intimate reception in a side room.
One of his hosts was sharp enough to recognized Carol's inebriated state
and managed to divert her off to another room by cleverly asking her
about what she had been trying to tell the audience after Phyllis'
speech. Phil only noticed peripherally that Carol was leaving with a
handful of others, but he was quickly distracted by some of the polite
questions that were being posed to him.
Some questions were inane like, 'How did he feel when confronted with
someone who could not accept his transition?' or 'Did he like the same
things after his transition that he had before?' The answers were
obvious and he gave polite answers even when he wanted to point out how
foolish the enquiries sounded.
Phil knew that being outed to the entire Bay area community meant that
he would no longer be the anonymous, being a large busted woman would
make anyone stand out. Being a man with a pretty face, long hair and
Texas sized boobs make anonymity impossible.
Other questions he was glad to address like 'How best to help a relative
who was not sure about their gender or just sexual orientation?' The
answer to that one was simple: Just love them and help them to find the
help they needed. Finding a mental health professional that they were
comfortable with was very important. There was no guarantee that there
would be a good fit between care provider and the patient right off the
bat. Phil had had his share of patients that he just did not seem to
click with and he always helped them with referrals to other providers.
@ @ @ @
Carol's small group found themselves in a secluded alcove with its own
minibar, staffed with a bartender. Periodically, waitresses flittered
in and out getting drink orders. Carol took full advantage of the
situation and positioned herself next to the bar. As a result, her
champagne glass was never empty.
As the evening wore on Carol's vision began to blur as she was feeling
no pain. Even in her inebriated state she could tell a number of her
entourage were men appearing as women, some quite convincingly.
Once removed from the presence of her husband, the celebrity, she was
peppered with questions about her services. Carol held court and
boasted about her talents as a surgeon. The pretenders, slowly elbowed
the non-trans Cisgender people away and tightly encircled Carol. The
star struck admirers hung on her ever word. They took her at her word
that she was the architect of the goddess Phyllis. They were curious
how their bodies could be altered similarly. Rather than talk to them
individually Carol gathered the woman wannabes and provided them a free
consultation. She scrutinized each closely and summarized their faults,
and how she could correct them - for a price after all she was not
operating a charity.
Her arrogant bragging eventually became wearisome, and her audience
slowly slipped away to the point it was finally reduced to a single
irritating man. He didn't want to hear about generalities, rather he
persistently kept bringing Carol back to details concerning Phyllis. He
challenged her for specifics. Carol threw done another flute of
champagne and began to sway on her feet. She lost her balance and
almost fell catching herself on the corner of the portable bar. The
bartender rushed out and assisted Carol into a nearby chair.
The pest of a reporter stood over her and made it obvious he questioned
her truthfulness. He persisted by saying he wouldn't believe her unless
she could provide a detailed list of exactly what she was taking credit
for. Carol was offended, no one had ever challenged her veracity
before. To prove what she was saying was the truth Carol gave the
annoying man a detailed list of the procedures she performed on her
husband.
When she was finished, he had one big question. "Was Phyllis
technically still a man and was he really her husband?"
She insisted, "He is and still is my legally wed husband."
The reporter wanted to ask why she turned her husband into a she-male,
but she slumped into the chair and appeared to lose consciousness. So
he was forced to end his interview. The helpful bar tender, called a
cab for the drunken lady, found her address in her purse and helped her
into the cab and relayed the address to the driver.
Phil was a little miffed when he went to leave and couldn't find his
wife. After checking every space, even the bathrooms for her, he gave
up and took a taxi home, luckily he always carried mad money in a secret
compartment in his bra. Arriving home, he found Carol passed out and
sprawled in the middle of their bed. He was still energized from the
night; but took the easy way out. After getting cleaned up, he hung up
his dress, threw his delicates into the hamper for washing later and
slipped into his long silk nightgown and slept in the guest bedroom.
Phyllis slept late, but found his wife still passed out on the bed,
never haven even gotten under the covers. He went and put on the coffee
then stepped out to retrieve the morning paper. He spread the paper out
on the table and was enjoying his first cup of the black elixir of life.
When he reached the entertainment section he was surprised to see a full
cover page of his award. The bay area had a strong contingent of
transgender people, but never had they received this kind of notoriety.
Phil thought that his agreement to accept the award might have a
positive effect of the transgender community. His opinion changed to
rage as he read the article under his picture, a rather flattering one
that accentuated his feminine figure. Then, shockingly, he saw that
they had somehow gotten his high school graduation photo. They
displayed it side by side with his current picture. It was followed by
a picture of his wife. There were a few flattering comments on Carol's
skills turning an ordinary looking man into a candidate for a cover
girl. The rest was a total hatchet job, ridiculing both him and his
wife. The reporter had confirmation from a source close to the doctor
that all the procedures performed on Phil which were listed in detail.
His informant confirmed it had all been performed without the patient's
consent.
The writer went so far as to insinuate that Carol had transformed her
husband into a shemale in revenge for some undisclosed indiscretion on
her husband's part. The amount of accurate detail in the article was
disturbing. Phil could only think of one person who knew those
specifics - his wife. Loose lips sink ships; Carol's might have
torpedoed both of their careers.
Absolutely livid with anger, he had to get up and pace. He stood in
front of their picture window doing deep breathing exercises to calm
down.
Eventually, he heard Carol moving about. He poured her a cup of coffee
and took it to her along with a couple of aspirins. He sat on the edge
of the bed and handed the drink to her. Carol sat up with great
bloodshot eyes and her hair a tangled spider web. Her dress was stained
from a night of drooling on it. In short, she looked like hell.
She popped the offered pills into her mouth without looking at what her
husband had handed her and swallowed the coffee with great trepidation,
concerned about burning her mouth. She handed him the empty mug and
shoved him out of the room so she could get dressed.
Phil waited for his wife in the kitchen, where he made himself a cup of
tea. He wasn't normally a tea drinker, it just sounded good to him
today. He sat at the kitchen table, enjoying the morning sun that
streamed through the large window and bathed his face in its warming
embrace. He had the paper spread out before him waiting to confront his
wife with what he had read.
She eventually shuffled into the kitchen, still looking like something
the cat had dragged in. She declined his offer of breakfast and dropped
into a seat at the table. Once she was seated, Phil spun the paper
around and showed her the offending article. He pounded this fist on
the table and said "Read this, what do you have to say for yourself!"
Carol rubbed her eyes and eventually managed to focus on the paper.
She read for a good ten minutes without saying a word. Eventually, she
raised her head up and smiled. Her only words were, "Your picture
really illustrates what great work I do. He even spelled my name
correctly. So it will be easy for other 'girls' like you to find me. I
am going to be swamped with work. This is great publicity."
Phil spent some time trying to show his wife the negative consequences
from this publicity. Carol, between her hangover and excitement, was
hearing none of it. She was only focused on the potential good to her
surgical practice. She even made a few phone calls searching for a new
assistant to handle the anticipated increased workload. She was
bewildered at the cause of her husband's anger. As he said in his
speech, she had merely let free the woman within. Where was her thanks?
Exasperated, Phil finally reached a point where he gave up trying to
show Carol that she had overstepped her bounds. He stormed off to the
garage and found an overnight bag. He headed to his bathroom, where he
used his arm to sweep his hodgepodge of cosmetics into the valise.
Proceeding to the bedroom, he filled the small bag to overflowing with
underwear and a few of his favorite outfits.
He rationalized that, if his departure lasted more than a few days, he
could always send for his other things. He stopped to say goodbye to
Carol. She barely took the phone away from her ear to ask where he was
going.
He replied, "As strange as it sounds, I'm headed to your parents'
house."
Carol smirked at the incongruous response and commented, "What's got
your bloomers in a bunch?" Phil merely shook his head in disgust and
headed out the front door to his car. Carol rushed to the door and
yelled after her feminized husband, "Don't I get a kiss goodbye?"
Phil just ignored her jibe and threw his case in the trunk of his tiny
subcompact. He squeezed behind the wheel, checked his face in the
rearview mirror, and sped off as fast as the three-cylinder car would
go.
Phil arrived at Mikes place and left his luggage in the car until he
could ask if it was alright for him to stay there for a few days.
Mike, of course, agreed after being briefed on the latest fiasco his
daughter had created. Phil was led to Carol's old room, where he was
told to make himself comfortable. He quickly unpacked and made room in
the small closet for his few outfits so they wouldn't get too wrinkled.
The one womanly chore he truly hated was ironing.
He was called to dinner, and sat across from Liz who made it plain in
her opinion he must have done something wrong to upset her daughter.
Mike merely rolled his eyes but refused to get drawn into that quagmire.
After the dishes were cleared and loaded into the dishwasher, Mike
invited Phil into his study for a drink and some conversation. A half
of bottle of Scotch later, Mike gave up on trying to talk his son-in-law
into returning to his home. Phil was determined to strike out on his
own. He had finally had it with Carol.
During the next two days Phyllis would get up, shower and leave in his
car with no explanation to his whereabouts. He would return each
afternoon, help Liz make dinner. Despite the fact he helped create the
nightly meal, he would only pick at it. After eating and helping with
cleanup he would hibernate in his room.
Phil's absence had gotten Carol's attention and she repeatedly called
her mother to ask about her husband. She invited herself over for
coffee one afternoon and Mike greater her with a lukewarm hug. The
three of them chatted cordially until Carol insisted her parents stop
sheltering her husband and send him home where he belonged. Liz of
course sided with her daughter, Mike on the other hand wouldn't budge.
The three-way argument became so loud that Mike was afraid that the
neighbors would call the cops. Mike, as the voice of reason, put his
foot down and declared the discussion over. Phyllis had sanctuary in
his home for as long as she wanted to stay.
Carol broke down and wailed, sending a torrent of tears down her face.
She just couldn't understand why everyone was against her. She
rationalized that Phil should be thanking her for what she did and not
try and make her feel guilty. All she did was make him into a beautiful
looking woman. Hell, she made a very good living off doing that to rich
socialites. Her actions led directly to his counseling practice
tripling its business. He was getting rich and all it cost him was his
family jewels. He had accepted that until she let it slip that he was
her husband. She didn't see what the big deal was with people knowing
Phyllis was at one time a man. She was after all only looking out for
what was best for her career.
Liz was turning into a basket case trying to console her daughter and
blaming Mike for the whole situation. Mike told Carol he wanted her out
of his house before Phyllis returned. That unleased the hounds of hell.
He retreated into his study until the estrogen induced whirlwind had
died down. Mike voluntarily slept on the couch that night.
Exhausted, Mike slept in. Only to be awakened by a hysterical Liz. She
handed the phone to Mike and collapsed in his chair. Mike put the phone
to his ear and heard his daughter pleading to come back over, something
horrible had happened. His first thought was about the welfare of
Phyllis. He put his hand over the receiver and asked his wife, "Have
you seen Phyllis this morning?"
"Why yes, she left here about 45 minutes ago, looking like the tramp he
is. She was wearing a scandalous pair of short shorts and a pink t-
shirt that accentuated his big bosom. It was so tight I could clearly
see her bra straps. Where does a woman go at 7 in the morning looking
like that?"
Relieved that Phil was alright he went back to the phone. Carol told
him when she returned home last night she found a man waiting for her.
He served her with a subpoena, she was being investigated for assault
and mutilation on Phil. When the California medical board got wind of
the possible criminal charges they piled on and sent her a registered
letter informing her she was being investigated for possible
professional misconduct.
She wailed, "I could lose my license and even go to jail." Mike put her
on hold and went to his desk and found the number of his lawyer, one of
the best in the Bay area. He told Carol to talk to no one and go
immediately to see his lawyer, he would call ahead and brief him that
she was on her way.
When Phil returned home that night he found himself in the middle of a
wake. Even the batch of chocolate chip cookies he whipped up could not
raise anyone's spirits. Carol was there, she had assumed the fetal
position on the couch with her head is Liz's lap and was in the middle
of a major pity party because her malpractice insurance had just been
cancelled. As he walked by on the way to his bed, Carol sat up and
asked if she could spend the night with Phyllis in her old bed. Phil
merely shook his head no and said that he needed some alone time to
think.
Phil hung around for a while, cleaned up the dishes and snuck off to his
bedroom. That night, lying in bed and staring into the darkness, he
came to a monumental decision. One that he thought would solve his and
Carol's problems. The next morning, he stripped his bed and did a load
of laundry. He packed up his things and disappeared out the backdoor.
He was saddened by the fact that he did not say thank you and goodbye to
his hosts but he didn't want to answer any questions about his
destination. He drove to his bank and waited 20 minutes in the parking
lot for the doors to open. He emptied his private accounts, transferred
sufficient funds from his business account to cover the mortgage for the
next year. He then went to his safe-deposit box, withdrew his passport,
birth certificate, his car title and all the emergency cash he kept in
there. His next stop was to a used car lot, where he sold his car.
Then he called a taxi to take him to the airport.
@ @ @ @
The next few days were the nadir point in Carol's existence. Her
husband had run off to god knows where, her lawyer was preparing her for
a possible trial. She had moved back into her old bedroom and sucked up
all the sympathy her parents gave her. Mostly it was from her mother,
infuriatingly her father appeared to be on Phil's side. He had several
long talks with her, taking the role of both a loving father and mental
health professional. Carol stubbornly refused to admit she bore any
responsibility for how things had turned out. She even expressed her
anger at her husband, convinced he should be grateful, not resentful
because everything she did was done out of love, not malice.
If it hadn't been his daughter, Mike would have given up and considered
Carol a lost cause.
The real breakthrough came when her barrister sat her down and laid out
what he had received in the discovery phase of the trial. He showed her
what the state had accumulated concerning her reckless behavior toward
her husband. There were even affidavits from Sue and Chris, the two who
provoked the entire thing. She read them with some trepidation. They
were the only ones who knew the truth about her motivation. Carol
sighed in relief, it seemed that Sue had developed a convenient case of
amnesia. All of her response were the same. "I cannot recall the
answer at this time. Chris on the other hand had a lot to say. He
testified that 'their' feminine stuff had been kept in a trunk in Phil's
garage. He also said he and Phil had spent many hours talking about the
challenges of being transgender.
On the negative side, someone in her office had turned informant. The
quisling rat had provided the state with copies of her files, billing
statements and patient records. The state was trying to prove Carol had
never gotten a signed release form from Phil before his surgery. Her
attorney felt confident that he could get those thrown out because they
had not been legally acquired through a search warrant, plus there was
the doctor-patient confidentiality issue. What he was hanging his hat
on was the fact that not finding the release form in her office files
doesn't prove there wasn't one. He avoided asking Carol if she had one
someplace else.
As the mountain of evidence grew, she became more and more discouraged.
There were affidavits from her not-so-loyal staff, which she was
beginning to wish she had treated her people better. The negative
statements threatened to destroy her ego. There was no way she could
survive having to sit in a courtroom and listen to the parade of
uncomplimentary witnesses list her perceived personal and professional
faults. She finally gave in, told her attorney to work out a plea deal,
and headed back to the refuge of her home.
Mike took the opportunity to achieve a breakthrough. They attacked the
elephant in the room and painstakingly walked through all the decision
points that got Carol where she is today. Mike meticulously examined
what information Carol based her decisions upon. Then how, rather than
communicate with Phil, she rushed to conclusions convinced she knew what
was best. Lastly, they discussed what the consequences of her actions
were.
It took some time before Mike was able to get his daughter to admit that
what she had done was her responsibility and that had grievously hurt
her husband and destroyed their marriage. Mike did concede she wasn't
the only one who had screwed up. Even Phil was not blame free. Carol's
family and friends all contributed as well. The bottom line was that
everyone was talking, but no one was actually communicating. There was
way too much effort put into getting even or even getting ahead in the
relationship dynamics.
After Carol had finished her second cup of Irish coffee, she sat at her
parent's kitchen table and stared out the window lost in thought. She
experienced a Eureka moment, followed immediately by an 'Oh S***t'
moment. The fog of narcissism lifted and she finally saw the majority
of her difficulties were a result of her jumping to conclusions. She
also acknowledged she still loved her husband, both as a man and as the
woman she had created. The person who she had fallen in love with, not
the shell, was who she loved. She would do anything to get him back.
If only he would contact her so she could throw herself at his feet and
beg his forgiveness.
The only good news was that her legal team had convinced the local
district attorney to stop pursuing legal action on the condition that
she suspend her medical practice, pending the outcome of her Licensing
Board Investigation. A trial date was set, then postponed while the
Board tried in vain to locate Phil so he could testify against his wife.
During that time, Carol had a minor nervous breakdown and had to be
briefly hospitalized. Her lawyers convinced Carol it was a good thing
Phyllis could not be located, his testimony would surly damn her.
Despite what they said, she continued to search for him. The day of her
hearing finally arrived and she was still unable to locate him.
Carol woke after a restless night, staring out her bedroom window. A
harvest moon glowed orange between scattered clouds. She staggered to
the bathroom where she saw dark circles ringing her eyes, giving her the
look of a haggard raccoon. She did what she could with makeup, then
combed her hair and dressed in her best professional skirt and blouse.
The morning had turned dark with menacing black clouds threatening a
deluge. She was afraid the weather might be a precursor to her future.
She sprinted out to the car, threw her purse in and hopped in behind it.
Just as she settled in, the wind picked up and the rain pelted the car
in torrents. It was a morning that would give the city of Seattle a run
for its money.
Her drive to the hearing was uneventful. Carol parked her car, waited
briefly for a passing shower to subside to a gentle mist. Taking
advantage of the break in the rain, she grabbed her purse and stepped
out of the car locking the door. A cool breeze tousled her hair and
threatened to do a Marilyn Monroe with her skirt. She breezed through
the token security at the courthouse. She made her way to the defendant
table and sat next to her lawyer with a dour expression and nervously
waited for her witch trial to begin.
The prosecutor cut right to the chase in her opening remarks. "I will
prove this doctor committed horrific acts of cruelty on her unsuspecting
husband. In all likelihood, she went into her chosen profession to help
others and must have worked hard in medical school. But at some point,
she made some unfortunate choices. I will prove beyond a shadow of a
doubt that she mutilated and emasculated her husband. She not only
turned him into a pseudo woman but made him a caricature of a walking
bimbo. She performed surgery on a man identified as her husband without
bothering to get his written consent. Operating on a family member is
bad enough but to do so without his consent is criminal!"
Carol spent the morning, having to listen to a procession of witnesses
testify that she performed surgery on a person they claimed was her
husband. The defense won some points when Carol's lawyer got her entire
staff to admit none of them actually witnessed the surgery, nor could
they prove the patient was her husband.
They brought in documentation from her pharmacy indicating she had
written a prescription to herself for an extremely virulent version of
estragon. They were trying to insinuate that not only did she mutilate
his body but had him on female hormones.
An expert testified on the psychological effects of high levels of
estrogen being pumped into a normal male. His exact words were, "The
effects can be insidious. Not only would it change a man's secondary
sexual characteristics but and would in all probability effect a
person's mental outlook."
He was asked if he could prove that Phil had taken estrogen. "No, not
without a blood sample." It was the response that had been expected.
The follow up question was, "Could the hormone levels discussed be
debilitating?"
The doctor replied, "No. In fact, the patient might even enjoy periods
of euphoria brought on by high levels of estrogen."
Mike was called to the witness stand. He sat his back ramrod stiff, but
he maintained a blank inscrutable expression. His testimony was less
than satisfactory as far as the prosecution was concerned. He refused
to answer anything that dealt with Phil, claiming doctor patient
privilege.
However, he was forced to answer the questions: 'Did he know where Phil
had been over the past months and had he heard from him?' His response
was curt. "I have no personal knowledge of his actual whereabouts. I
have not heard from Phyllis directly. Any more than that I can't say."
The only other question he answered was how Phil's transition to Phyllis
had affected his family. He looked the judge in the eye as he answered,
"I always liked Phil. He was a good son-in-law and treated my daughter
well. This entire thing has affected my family as I no longer feel I
have a son-in-law. However, on the positive side, I find Phyllis to be
the best daughter-in-law a man could ever have. Phil, I liked, but I
love Phyllis. Does that answer your question?"
The defense called Cristopher Donleavy to the stand. The witness's
appearance caused a minor stir in the hearing room. The name indicated
a man would be coming to the stand. Rather what everyone saw was a
tall, heavy-set woman wearing a form-fitting lilac pant suit and
matching open toed dress shoes with thin stratospheric heels. She
sauntered to the witness chair, set a purse down at her feet, and
brushed her long bleach blonde hair back behind her ears. Seated facing
the jury, her makeup was sultry and overdone for a morning. She batted
his long lashed eyes at the judge and smiled.
When asked his name, he said, "Legally, it is still Cristopher Donleavy,
but I am in the process of changing it to Chrissie Wilson. Wilson being
my ex-wife's maiden name."
He was asked by the lawyer "Do you consider yourself and Phil to be
homosexuals, transvestites, or transgender women?"
Chrissie fiddled with the charm bracelet on his wrist and replied, "By
homosexual, if you mean am I attracted to men, I would say generally no.
However, there are times, well...you understand. Overall, I prefer the
term gender fluid."
When he was asked to explain that he said, "It's simple. Sometimes, I
feel like a boy, sometimes a girl, sometimes both. But that's me, I
can't speak for Phyllis."
He was asked if he ever saw Phil distressed over his transformation from
a man into an attractive looking woman. Rather than answer the
question, he related the story of the night the four ladies, Chrissie,
Phyllis, and their wives had a girl's night out. They went out to
dinner together and had a grand time. He reminisced about going to the
bathroom with Phyllis. She led the way to the 'ladies' room, it was
Chrissie's first time in the ultimate bastion of womanhood. He talked
about the thrill of standing side by side repairing their makeup from
the damage done by dinner. He talked about how they chatted pleasantly
and had a jovial time being two ladies. Then Chrissie dropped a
bombshell, relating that when they said goodnight Phyllis gave me a kiss
on the lips and they both enjoyed it.
In desperation, the prosecution asked what he thought about Phil's
exaggerated dimensions that were surely intended to belittle and degrade
Phil. Chrissie pointed his well-padded bosom toward the jury and
gleefully answered, that he never saw anything demeaning about Phyllis's
figure. On the contrary, he was envious and had even asked Carol to do
the same for him.
The defense got its turn when it asked if he thought Phil was happy in
his current body. His response was an unequivocal, "Gawd yes! We have
been friends for years. The last time we were together he never stopped
smiling and appeared comfortable in his new found femininity."
@ @ @ @
Carol and her attorney were feeling confident and thought things were
leaning their way. That all changed when the prosecutor called her last
witness: Doctor Phyllis Brown. Carol gave her lawyer an inquisitive
look. He merely shrugged his shoulders. The room became deathly quiet
when the rear door swung open. All eyes turned to look.
There, framed in the doorway, was a glamorous looking raven-haired woman
with a curvaceous figure wearing a red pencil skirt with matching heels.
She stood with a relaxed confidence as she scanned the room's occupants.
Her gaze eventually settled on the defense table and its residents.
Even from a distance, it appeared she had just stepped out of a beauty
parlor. Her makeup was dramatic yet tasteful and her perfectly coiffed
hair drew your attention only briefly. The one distinguishing physical
characteristic that identified her as Phyllis was her oversized breasts.
They couldn't be ignored and were clearly her defining feminine
characteristic. They were accentuated by a beautiful slightly
translucent white silk blouse that showed just a hint of a lacy bra.
The bailiff again called for Doctor Brown. The woman at the door raised
her hand and answered in a throaty soprano voice, "Here."
She surveyed the room like a queen looking out over her court with a
devilish gleam.
The unexpected appearance of her estranged husband unleased a cornucopia
of emotions in Carol. While she was delighted that he had returned, it
could only spell trouble if it was as a witness against her. Carol's
lawyer closed his briefcase and leaned down and whisper to his client,
"We're screwed!"
The woman acting as the prosecutor, Miss Dorothy Carlyle, asked the
doctor to take the stand. Phyllis moved with the grace of a dancer.
The lightweight silk shirt she was wearing moved fluidly with her every
step and again drew everyone's attention to her best feature: her chest.
She marched to the front, not demurely, but rather in a strong
purposeful stride seemingly unconcerned by the way it made her breasts
undulate seductively. This obviously was a person comfortable in her
femininity.
As she passed the defendant's table, she glanced a bit wistfully at
Carol. She nodded hello to the judge and took her seat on the well-worn
hard backed wooden chair. She rested her purse beside her feet, placed
her hands in her lap and waited. She sat in the chair with her
expression as stoic as the stone faces on Easter Island. Carol knew
this was her husband but there was something different about him, that
she couldn't quite put her finger on it.
The bailiff asked the witness to identify herself. Then Miss Carlyle,
asked if she could identify the plaintiff. Phyllis gave her a look like
she was dimwitted.
Phyllis looked at Carol and back to the prosecutor before saying, "That
is Doctor Carol Brown."
Carol shifted uneasily in her seat. She became pale, her hands
trembled. A thin sheen of perspiration broke out on her forehead.
Phyllis sat daintily in the witness chair and crossed her nylon covered
legs. The prosecutor commented in what she thought was a friendly
manner, "You seem cherry this afternoon."
"Why yes I am in a good mood, thank you for noticing. I woke up this
morning on the right side of happy town."
"May I call you Phyllis?"
"Certainly, Dorothy, you may call me Phyllis, but I prefer Doctor Brown
if that is alright with you. Now what can I do for you counselor?"
Dorothy was totally flustered. This was to be her star witness, now it
appeared as if Dr. Brown was going to be a hostile witness. So she
decided to take an unorthodox approach.
"Doctor Brown, you are certainly an attractive looking woman. You are
not what I expected. I was anticipating more a man camouflaged in a
dress. We have interviewed over twenty of your past friends, even some
old girl friends, but not a one of them mentioned you showed any signs
of being a transvestite. Could you please tell us how you came to be
this way?"
"It was a journey of self-discovery. For my entire life, I felt there
was something wrong. It wasn't until I started dealing with men
struggling with gender identity that I began to question my own. It
took a loving nudge from my wife to open my eyes to what had been
missing from my life. With her help, I took the leap and started to
live full time as a woman."
"Excuse me Doctor, I am confused. You simply went from being a normal
looking man to an attractive looking woman."
"Thank you. It wasn't easy. At first I was just a man in a dress. I
struggled with my presentation. I have always been someone who if I am
going to do something I am going to do it to the best of my ability.
That is why I engaged my wife's services to transform me from a plain,
middle-aged man into the woman you see sitting here."
Dorothy gestured to Phyllis' massive chest and commented, "Are you
telling this court you asked for these modifications?"
Phyllis smiled and pushed her chest out, "I admit my wife and I weren't
not on the same page when it came to my bra size. She knew I had always
been a tit guy. She took my physical preferences to the extreme. Call
it a failure to communicate. But that doesn't alter the fact that I
indeed asked Dr. Brown to make me look not only like a woman but as an
attractive/sexy one as possible."
Carol almost came out of her chair in surprise. She knew she had
screwed up with what she did to Phil. But it seemed that his
revisionist history said that he had forgiven her.
With her case crumbling before her, the prosecutor was rapidly losing
her cool, "Let's cut to the chase."
Picking up a piece of paper, Dorothy read, "I have a list of procedures
that were reportedly performed on you by your wife. I want a yes or no
answer if these were in fact performed on you: Breast augmentation, you
were castrated, your voice was altered, your entire body had
electrolysis, your lips injected with collagen, your ears, tongue and
nose were pierced, your waist underwent liposuction, with the fat being
injected into your hips and buttocks, and lastly you had eye and lip
makeup tattooed on your face."
"Yes, those things were all done to me. But I can't say for sure my
wife did them. I was asleep at the time."
"Did you actually ask your wife to perform these modifications to your
body? Before you answer let me remind you that you are under oath.
There is no written consent form that you signed. Our records indicate
she actually removed your testes. Let me ask you: did Doctor Brown
perform an orchiectomy on you?"
Phyllis paused and took a depth breath. What he spoke again it was in a
soft controlled tone. "I may not have signed anything. I can't really
remember."
"Aha so you admit you never requested your feminization surgeries!"
"Yeesh, you really like to jump to conclusions. I made my desires clear
through other ways. As a married couple, we communicated other ways
than through words. Call it ESP or call it a sensitivity to a person's
micro expressions. There are hundreds of ways a couple converse, a
special look, a touch."
"That is interesting, but ESP is not legally admissible."
Phyllis bent over and retrieved her purse, opening it and withdrawing a
piece of paper. Handing it to the Judge she said, "Your honor, my wife
had my full medical power of attorney. I am not a lawyer but it seems
to me she was allowed to perform those surgeries even if I didn't sign a
consent form."
"You wanted her to do that to you. It seems a bit drastic. Why would
any man want that?"
"Not that it is any of your business, but I did it out of love. Our sex
life was inadequate, we seldom made love as man and wife. I had a
comically small penis, so it's was no BIG loss.
"Losing my balls was at first distressful, but the positive affect of
getting them out of the way made my clothes fit better. And it freed me
up of all that nasty testosterone they kept pumping into my system.
Besides, I had pussy envy."
That obviously shocked the woman prosecutor. Phil put his psychiatric
counselor hat on and explained there are many men, even non-transgender
ones, that have womb and vagina envy. It denotes the envy that men may
feel towards a woman's primary role in nurturing and sustaining life.
It denotes the anxiety many men feel caused by jealousy of the
biological functions of the female sex: such as multiple orgasms,
pregnancy, childbirth, and breast feeding.
"You're a woman you know sex is even better when there is no recovery
time. As a man it was wham, bam. A great 30 seconds, then nothing for
hours. Who would want that?
"All in all, I enjoyed my time in the gender halfway house. When Carol
let the cat out of the bag, that Doctor Brown was a man hiding behind
ten pounds of boobs, it proved to be the impetus I needed to complete my
transition."
Dorothy could see that she was losing control of her case and tried to
gain control over the person she had thought would be the linchpin of
the trial.
"That is all interesting but it has nothing to do with this hearing."
"Quite the contrary, it has everything to do with this hearing. Carol
did everything short of SRS to make me a woman. That was done not out
of malice, rather out of overwhelming love. We were married and as
close as any two people could be.