Good Medicine Freshman YearChapter 22 Fallout
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October 9, 1981, McKinley, Ohio
“You’re really going to cut back your hours to just the six-hour Saturday shift?” Nancy asked.
“That’s what I told Mr. Sokolov yesterday, yes. And he can reduce the hours whenever he finds someone to take them.”
“What happened?”
“The Biology Department secured a grant for $1500 per semester for me. I explained my situation to Doctor Stanton, my advisor, and he talked to Doctor Norris. I’m starting in the honors program next semester, and there is a small amount of money available for honor students. It’s enough I don’t need to work at all, but I want to work a bit. It’ll give me a bit of extra money, and those morning hours on Saturday aren’t really going to interfere with anything. The other thing it lets me do is take karate again. If you add all of it together, I feel like I’ll have enough money to be comfortably poor during my last two years of medical school.”
“Welcome to my world! I guess this does help with one potential issue.”
“Which one?” I asked.
“Sometimes you are even more clueless than usual. We work together.”
“Oh. I guess I didn’t think about it because it won’t change how I act.”
“Are you sure?”
“Work is work. I made a promise to Mr. Sokolov and I’ll keep it.”
“I don’t think it’s going to be that easy,” she sighed.
“For me, it is. I’m sure.”
“I’ll take your word for it, but we do need to be careful.”
“Have I kissed you or anything like that at work? Even hugged you?”
“No.”
“There you go. Don’t worry about it.”
“OK. Can we see True Confessions tonight?”
“Sure. Whatever you want!”
“I do have a request for next weekend.”
“You already asked for THAT!” I teased.
“Duh! On Monday will you walk me to the bus?”
“So you can show me off to ‘Miss Delicious’?” I chuckled.
“They thought I was messing with them! They don’t believe I have a boyfriend in college.”
“Boyfriend?”
“What should I call you?”
“That’s fine, I was just surprised you used the word.”
“There really isn’t a good option besides that which I can think of. Is it a problem?”
“Not at all. Have you thought more about the ‘play’ versus ‘make love’ question?”
“It’s tough,” she sighed. “I’m worried that you’ll be hurt just like you’re worried that I’ll be hurt.”
“True.”
“Would it ruin things completely if I said I just wanted to play for now and see where things go?” she asked nervously.
“No,” I replied.
“No?! What?!”
“I had a very good talk with Jocelyn last Monday. I didn’t tell you about that part of it because I wanted to think it through. I had to come to terms with what happened between Jocelyn and me. I have.”
“So casual sex is OK?”
“I don’t think I’d put it quite that way. It’s not like you and I don’t know each other or are having sex on our first date. Or even our second or third one. It’s an important distinction in my mind.”
“That actually makes sense. I wouldn’t have done it with you after the first date, or even the second.”
“Exactly. But, playing does have a condition. It means we’re not a couple.”
Nancy nodded, “I know. That’s actually what scared me. Being a couple. It seemed so ... so, permanent.”
“And you don’t trust me to keep that commitment. At least not yet.”
“No; I’m sorry.”
In the end, whatever words she wanted to use, what we were doing amounted to the same thing - seeing if things between us would work. I was willing to make the basic commitment to her - to not see anyone else after we made love - but she was so scarred by her dad and Chet, she couldn’t accept even that. And that made we wonder if she’d ever be able to make a commitment. But it was very early on, and there was plenty of time to find out.
“Nancy, we’re fine. I’m not going to run away.”
“Ask me again at graduation.”
“Count on it. Do the rules at your school allow me to take you to Prom?”
“I have to ask specific permission each time, but as a Senior I can bring a date who’s a Freshman in college to any dance.”
“Do you want to go to any of your dances?”
“Just Prom. We missed the Fall dance already, which is OK, because I wasn’t interested in going. The same is true for our Spring dance.”
“What are we doing next Friday?”
“Pick me up at the store and we’ll have dinner, then go to my house and you can have me for dessert.”
“Now there’s an offer no sane man could refuse!”
We arrived at Frisch’s and as creatures of habit, sat in our same booth and ordered the same meals as we had the previous few weeks.
“You decided to come back on Sunday?”
“Yes. I’ll go to church and then come back to McKinley for work. I need to study on Sunday for mid-terms. This will be a tough week, but by Friday, I’ll be ready to be away from school for a few days and spend them with you.”
When we finished our meal, we headed to the theater to see True Confessions. We both enjoyed the movie, and when it finished, I took Nancy home where we exchanged a soft kiss.
October 10, 1981, Rutherford, Ohio
“Turn left here,” Emmy said, her voice full of anticipation. “Then park in spot 207.”
I did as she directed, and the minute I stopped, she hopped out of the car.
“Come on!” she insisted, pushing the car door shut.
I turned off the engine, put the car in 1st gear, and set the parking brake. I deliberately took my time doing that and getting out of the car. Emmy was already at the door of the building putting her key into the tumbler to open the door.
“Come on!” she begged.
I walked towards her, not showing any sense of urgency because, from the second I’d arrived at her house, she’d been almost beside herself with impatience. It was obvious she’d been looking forward to this day and now that it was here, she didn’t want to waste one second of it. I, on the other hand, had second, third, and fourth thoughts.
As I’d thought about it, I came to the conclusion that part of my pushing for SOME kind of commitment with Nancy was about NOT being with Emmy. Or anyone else, for that matter. Even a simple ‘going steady’ situation would have allowed me to gracefully back out, though I would certainly have upset Emmy by doing so.
I considered the situation with Angie, which my friends had completely misread. When I’d agreed to study with her, I’d had no intention of doing what they’d suggested, even if it had been offered. I’d been relieved when it hadn’t, and she’d come right out and said that when Freshman year was over, we’d know if this was more than just studying. To me, that seemed like the right approach.
My talk with Jocelyn had jarred me, and I had, finally, made peace with having made love with her, and had truly considered what she said. I’d talked with Nancy about it, and we’d both agreed that the idea of truly casual sex just wasn’t appealing. And despite Jocelyn’s prescription, I just didn’t see it in the cards for me.
Emmy and Nancy were different - I got to know them and spent time with them before we reached that point. I had no idea what would happen with Angie, but it was clear we were going to get to know each other first. Even with Becky, I’d spent time with her. Heck, even Paula wouldn’t technically qualify as we’d talked quite a bit while working.
So, here I was, with Emmy, and I knew that I couldn’t behave the way I had with Jocelyn. I had, on my drive to West Monroe, concluded I really DID want to be with her. I did my best to analyze my feelings, and I was confident I wouldn’t have any regrets. I was also confident that Emmy wanted this, and that she would have no regrets, either. Her behavior confirmed that beyond any shadow of any doubt.
Where I had doubts was with Nancy. But that wasn’t something to think about while I was with Emmy. I pushed the thoughts from my mind as I reached the door. Emmy grabbed my arm and tugged, encouraging me to follow her up the steps, then down the hall to the door marked ‘2G’. She inserted the key into the lock, opened the door, and dragged me inside.
“Emmy, relax,” I soothed. “We have more than seven hours!”
“I wanted to do this with you YEARS ago!” she declared, closing and locking the door. “And that night at the lake? I was ready to rip our clothes off and just do it!”
“Well, now you have me for the rest of the day to do whatever you want.”
“I told you what I wanted! I want you to put that ridiculously huge thing in me! Leslie said I should give you a blowjob first so you can last! She said teenage guys can have that problem! Can I see it?”
“Here?”
She nodded and leaned back against the door. I was glad I’d been with Jocelyn, or I might have already made a mess in my pants. Oral sex first might not be a bad idea. I pulled my rugby shirt over my head and tossed it on the couch. It was followed by my belt, pants, socks, and finally my briefs.
“Wow!” she breathed. “Do you want to see me?”
“Very much so,” I said.
Emmy walked over to stand about two feet in front of me. She pulled her blue sweater over her head, then quickly removed her jeans and socks. She smiled and reached around her back and unhooked her bra and let it drop, displaying small, firm breasts, topped by small pink nipples. She smiled again, and with a twinkle in her eye, quickly pulled off her panties, leaving her naked before me.
She was a vision to behold, with her long, black hair draped over her shoulders, her small breasts, flat stomach, and a V of black pubic hair flooding my senses. I was rock hard and was afraid Leslie was right in her assessment. I held out my arms and Emmy stepped forward, bringing her soft skin into contact with mine. Her nipples gently rubbing my chest, and as I wrapped my arms around her, I felt the soft tickle of pubic hair at the base of my shaft.
Emmy put her arms around me and pressed herself tightly to me. She put her head on my chest, and sighed deeply. I struggled to maintain control, but I feared it was a losing effort.
“Should we go to the bedroom?” I asked softly.
“Yes,” she whispered.
She squeezed me in her arms once more, then released me and took my hand to lead me down the short hallway.
“Rubbers,” I said.
I turned back and extracted the packets from the pocket of my jeans.
“How many?” she asked breathlessly.
“Three.”
“Oh, God!” she moaned softly. “Yes!”
I took her hand and we walked a few paces to the door of the bedroom, where I saw that the bed was turned down and I heard the radio playing softly. I walked over to the nightstand and set down the packets of rubbers, then turned back to Emmy. We both moved and were quickly locked in a tight embrace and as our lips met, I savored the feel of her body against mine. Our tongues touched and once again I came close to losing it. After a minute, I broke the kiss.
“I think Leslie was right,” I whispered.
Emmy giggled and pulled me towards the bed. She pushed gently to get me to sit down, then knelt in front of me.
“I, uh, have, uh, never done this,” she said nervously. “Leslie told me how.”
I wasn’t worried because the chances that I’d last more than a minute were slim, and she’d be ‘rewarded’ with success pretty much immediately. Emmy gently grasped my shaft with her hand and I felt her lips touch my glans. Ever so slowly they parted and slid along the smooth skin. I took a deep breath and let it out as Emmy began gently sucking and moving her tongue, while slowly stroking my shaft with her hand.
I actually lasted about ninety seconds before I groaned and the first spurt flew into Emmy’s mouth. She squeaked, but continued to suck and pump me with her hand as several more spurts joined the first. When she sensed I was done, she released me and stood up and left the bedroom. I heard her spit into the sink, then heard water running, and she was back.
“Sorry,” she said, looking a bit sad.
“For what?” I asked, taking her into my arms.
“Spitting it out.”
I took my hand and put it under her chin and raised her head so I could give her a soft kiss.
“It was wonderful,” I said.
I led her to the bed and helped her in, then got in next to her. I knew I’d be ready to go in a few minutes, but I had another thing I very much wanted to do first. We kissed, but I broke that kiss almost immediately and kissed my way down to her breasts. Remembering the lessons Jocelyn and taught me, I kissed, licked, and sucked on Emmy’s beautiful breasts, eliciting soft moans. I abandoned them sooner than I would have liked, but I had a much more interesting place to put my lips and tongue.
“Unnnnggggghhhh!” Emmy groaned loudly when I pressed my tongue onto her clitoris.
I moved my mouth and began placing soft kisses along the insides of her thighs and along her labia. I probed carefully between them, Emmy’s juices quickly covering my tongue. I pressed deeper to get more of her wonderful, musky flavor, then began gently sucking, kissing, and licking. Emmy’s breathing became ragged, and I felt her hand on the back of my head, gently urging me to bring her over the edge. After a moment, she shuddered.
“Unnnnggggghhhh!” she groaned again, then gasped, “Oh my God! Mike! Yes! Oh! Oh!”
I raised my face from between Emmy’s legs and started to move up next to her, but then realized I probably should wash my face, given that she’d spit after the blowjob.
“Mike?” she asked worriedly.
“Just going to wash my face,” I said.
“Oh, yeah, OK.”
I went to the bathroom and quickly washed and dried my face, then went back to the bedroom. I climbed into bed next to Emmy and pulled her to me. We kissed and touched for a couple of minutes.
“Can we?” she whispered.
“Yes,” I replied, and reached for one of the small packets on the nightstand.
I had been worried about using a rubber, and had zero experience with them, so I’d purchased a second box and practiced three times, using the first box, in my room at night, ensuring I could put the latex over my erection with minimal difficulty. The practice paid off as I easily rolled the lubricated condom, purchased at the recommendation of the pharmacist in the drug store in McKinley, over my straining shaft as Emmy watched in amazement.
“Put it in me,” she begged. “Please!”
I nudged her shoulder and she moved to her back. I moved on top of her and felt her legs part, giving me access to the place she wanted me. I grasped my shaft with my hand and lined it up, kissed Emmy softly, then pushed forward. I didn’t make immediate progress, so I increased the pressure. Emmy spread her legs even wider, and suddenly, I was two or three inches inside her.
“Urck!” she gasped, choking. “Wait!”
I hadn’t intended for that to happen, but between how slick she was, the lubrication on the condom, the pressure I’d been applying, and her sudden spreading of her legs wider, I’d obviously pushed roughly through her hymen. I looked in her eyes and saw a hint of a tear. I kissed her softly and waited.
“OK,” she gasped. “Get it all the way in.”
I gently pulled back and pushed forward, making some progress, then repeated the motions two times until I was fully buried in her tight confines.
“Oh God,” she gasped. “I feel so full! Just stay there!”
I wasn’t going to object to the sensations which were like a tight glove, and gentle ripples as Emmy breathed and her heart beat. We exchanged several soft kisses, and between each one I looked into her eyes, seeing pure lust, which I was sure was obvious in my own.
“Mike?” Emmy whispered.
“Yes?”
“Will you fuck me now? Fuck me really good?”
I nodded and slowly withdrew most of the way then pushed back into her, grinding against her when I reached full depth. Emmy wrapped her arms and legs loosely around me and after the fourth stroke, she began moving her hips up to meet my thrusts. Slowly, over the next few minutes, I increased the pace and force of my motions. Our pulses quickened and our breathing grew labored as we moved ever more frantically against each other. I knew I was getting close, and wasn’t sure how long I could last, but the rubber seemed to take a bit of the edge off.
“Oh, Mike!” Emmy gasped, then moaned loudly.
I felt strong ripples along my latex-covered shaft and then she squeezed me tightly with her internal muscles. The pleasure was exquisite and the grasping and loosening of my shaft pushed me closer and closer to my own release. About a minute after Emmy’s orgasm, I couldn’t hold back. I pushed as deeply into her as I could, groaned, and filled the rubber. When my orgasm passed, I put my head next to Emmy’s on the pillow and recovered my breath.
Remembering the instructions on the box of rubbers, about a minute later I grasped the rubber, and gently pulled out of Emmy, causing her to whimper. I got up from the bed, went to the bathroom to remove the red-streaked rubber. I wrapped it in a tissue and put it in the trash, then used a washcloth to clean myself. I went back to the bedroom and got back into bed with Emmy. I put my arm around her and she snuggled close.
“Did you like it,” she asked. “Was I OK?”
“I liked it very much and yes, you were awesome!”
“I’m sorry I spit out your sperm. Leslie said I should swallow it, but I just couldn’t.”
“It’s OK,” I said. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I think it had to happen,” she said. “Otherwise you couldn’t get that monster in me!”
“It’s not THAT big,” I chuckled.
“It sure seems huge to me! And it felt like a telephone pole or something!”
“But you want to do it again?”
“Are you kidding,” she giggled. “You have two more rubbers!”
“How do you feel, you know, down there?”
“It hurt at first, you know, when you broke my cherry. But then it was, well, I don’t even know what word I could use! Even ‘amazing’ doesn’t seem enough. And when you had your mouth on me? I thought I was going to die! Will you do that again?”
“I like doing it, and I like how you taste.”
“You didn’t taste bad, it was just, well, the idea of swallowing it.”
“I said it’s OK. Forget what Leslie said about it and do what you feel is right.”
October 17, 1981, McKinley, Ohio There was a knock at the door just before 6:00pm and I was sure it was the girls so I called out for them to come in. As expected, it was Jeannette and Marie. “Ready for hot meat between buns and slurping creamy white liquid?” Jeannette teased. “My bedroom is right there!” I grinned. “Should we leave you two the room?” Marie smirked. “Dinner first, then dessert!” Jeannette laughed. I took Angie’s hand and the four of us left the dorm and headed for the...
June 8, 1981, West Monroe and Rutherford, Ohio “This entire conversation is going to be ‘too much information’, isn’t it?” I said when Liz and I left the house on Monday evening. “Probably. Is there anything you don’t want to hear?” “Anything at all about my little sister’s sex life!” I laughed. “But I guess you want to talk.” “‘Cause you won’t judge me, Mikey. You’ll listen and give me good advice.” I pulled out of the driveway and headed towards Rutherford. The Rutherford Free Clinic...
September 14, 1981, McKinley, Ohio On Monday, after lunch, I did as Doctor Orosco had insisted, and met with a counselor from Student Health Services, who, amazingly, was available immediately. The problem was, as I’d argued, that I wasn’t going to repeat what I said, even to another counselor, under any circumstances. I spent ten minutes going around in circles with Doctor Ralph Hart, and made no progress. “I’m not sure what you’re doing here, if you won’t talk to me about what...
October 6, 1981, McKinley, Ohio I met Pete and Jason for breakfast in the dining hall. As usual, Clark was just getting out of bed when I left our room. “You got in pretty late last night, I guess,” Pete said. “We didn’t break up the study group until about 11:30pm.” “I had a long talk with Jocelyn.” “How’s she doing?” “Better, but she has a long way to go, physically, emotionally, and mentally. But at least she’s talking to me.” “I heard you’re invited to the Wednesday biology...
October 4, 1981, McKinley, Ohio “Let me guess, you’re sleeping on the couch again?” Mrs. Landers laughed. “Actually, I just came to talk to Nancy for a bit, then I have homework. I didn’t spend any time on it yesterday.” “Come on in. She’s in her room.” “Thanks.” I walked back through the house to Nancy’s room. She got up to greet me and we exchanged a hug and kiss. “Sorry for putting you off at work,” I said. “But I didn’t want to be interrupted.” “It’s OK. How is Jocelyn?” “I found...
September 6, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio “Mike!” Emmy squealed, launching herself into my arms when she opened the door. “Missed me?” I asked as I carefully spun around with her. “Yes! Let’s go! I’m STARVED!” I put her down and we walked to my car for the drive to Marie’s Diner. “How was your first week of school?” I asked. “Nothing changes. I mean, sure, I’m a Sophomore now, but otherwise it’s all the same. How about you?” “It’s a huge change, especially the amount of homework. I used to...
August 29, 1981, Columbus, Ohio “What are you talking about?” I asked. “Despite spending two days screwing like bunny rabbits,” Jocelyn said with a smile, “I think you’re STILL afraid of sex. May I ask another question?” “I guess,” I sighed. “Why haven’t you and Emmy done it? Because of her? Or because of you?” I could give her the answer that immediately popped into my mind - that Emmy wasn’t sixteen and was under the age of consent. But I knew there was some truth to what Jocelyn said....
December 3, 1981, Rutherford, Ohio “Well that went south pretty quickly,” I said. “They’re playing hardball with you,” Mr. Winston said. “It was always a possibility, but I didn’t think they’d go that route; they didn’t with your dad or sister.” “But they did with my mom?” “Yes, for the same basic reason. I believe they are under heavy pressure from someone to charge you with something; anything. And unless I miss my guess, it’s likely Mrs. Laramy from Family Services. She is certain...
March 15, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “Is it OK if I interrupt?” Clarissa asked on Monday evening. “Sure,” I replied. “What’s up?” “I wanted to check on class schedules for the Fall. I’d like to take the same classes. It’ll help with our study group.” “Sure. Pete, Kurtis, Jason, excuse me for a bit.” Clarissa and I went to my room and sat down with the course catalog. “We need O-Chem, the second semester of cellular biology with lab, a humanities course, and a language course,” I said. “Do...
February 15, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “Mike!” Angie squealed when she opened the door to her room. “Hi, Ang!” She hugged me and kissed my cheek. “I missed you! How was home?” “Good,” I replied. “Have some time for me?” “Always! Your place?” “Sure.” She took my hand and we walked back to my room where I put on Shadows by Gordon Lightfoot, then grabbed a couple of Cokes from the fridge. “How was your weekend?” I asked. “Quiet. Yours?” “I spent some time talking to my dad. I haven’t...
March 27, 1982, McKinley, Ohio I was still thinking about Katy as I walked to the Quick Mart for my weekly shift on Saturday morning. There was no doubt in my mind that sooner, rather than later, Katy was going to ask me to ‘go all the way’ and I’d have a very big decision to make. When I’d mentioned going steady, she’d immediately thought about having sex. The linkage was just as clear as Tasha’s linkage between marital crowns and sex. If I decided to ‘go all the way’ with Katy, it would...
August 24, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio “Whoa!” I gasped. “It fits, Mike. And it explains everything that happened afterwards.” “Mom, Abby exhibits the same behavior. She basically offered to have sex with me when she said hello the first day, and Becky implied Abby has been doing that since she was twelve.” “Stay out of that Mike. That’s an issue for the van Dorns.” “Is it? Emmy told me that Abby was here earlier and that Liz and Abby were acting crazy so she left and went home.” “You think...
November 27, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio On Friday morning, just after 10:00am, I was surprised when April showed up at the door of Jocelyn’s house. “Your mom said you were here. I guess you and Jocelyn decided to go steady?” I shook my head, “No. There are some problems at home that mean I need to stay here.” “Problems with your parents?” “It’s a family thing I can’t really talk about. What’s up?” “I wanted to apologize for getting upset and sending you away on Monday.” “Apology accepted....
August 26, 1981, McKinley, Ohio “Michael Peter Loucks,” I said. “Hi, Michael! Welcome to William Howard Taft!” the young woman sitting at the table marked ‘Dorm Check-In: H-M’ said. “Thanks.” She flipped through some envelopes in boxes and pulled one out. “The envelope contains your room key, student ID, dining hall card, parking sticker, a campus map, a set of dorm and campus rules, and a schedule of activities for the next five days. There are carts available on the first floor of your...
October 3, 1981, Rutherford, Ohio “Hi, Mike.” “Hi, Mr. Mills. I was just going in to see Jocelyn.” “One of the staff psychologists would like to talk to you first.” “Me? Why?” “To talk to you about Jocelyn. I can’t force you to do it, Mike, but I think it would be a very good idea.” “When? I want to see Jocelyn today.” “If you go back down to the ground floor, there’s an outpatient clinic. Just go to the desk and ask for Doctor Henderson. She’s expecting you.” I turned and went to the...
May 24, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio I was up early on Sunday morning to head to Holy Transfiguration. As Head Acolyte, I was responsible for being at the church about ninety minutes before Matins so that I could refill and light all the oil lamps, replace the tapers in the candle box, sift the sand in front of the icon of the Theotokos to remove the candle stubs, and ensure that the nave was in proper order. When I arrived, I unlocked all the doors, adjusted the thermostat to cool the nave,...
September 28, 1981, McKinley, Ohio “Mike?” Nancy whispered. “Wake up! I need to eat breakfast so I can catch the bus!” “I’m awake,” I replied. I stretched and yawned and sat up. “Are you doing OK?” Nancy asked. “Much better after last night. That was just what I needed. Thanks.” “I think I’m calling Ripley’s,” Mrs. Landers laughed, coming into the room. “Teenage boy shows up and asks to spend the night with teenage girl. She agrees and gets permission from her mom. Boy desires only...
December 21, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio “Mikey!” Liz squealed when I walked into the house on Monday evening. “Hi, Lizzy!” I said. She ran to me and we hugged lightly, then went into the living room where she had been sitting with my parents. “Welcome home, Mike,” Dad said. “How is Jocelyn?” “Pretty good. She has most of her range of motion back and they’re working to see if they can get her some more. Her bones have knit well, and she’s able to move around more freely.” “That’s good to...
September 7, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio When I stopped home just before 8:00pm on my way back to McKinley, I found my dad alone, in the living room, sitting in his easy chair, drinking Scotch on the rocks. “Hi, Dad. Where’s Mom?” “Sleeping. She’s completely worn out by last night and today. I’m surprised you’re not.” “I’ll crash when I get back to my dorm. How did it go?” He held up his glass, “Third one. How do you think?” I slumped down onto the couch. “Not good,” I sighed. He took a...
February 14, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “How are things going, Mike?” Dad asked when I sat down on the stool in the corner of his workshop. “Good, now that all that stuff with Family Services is done. How have things been at home?” “Your mom and sister put on brave faces, but Liz is struggling.” “They both said her schoolwork was good and she seemed OK when I talked to her.” “She has good days and bad days. Doctor Newton says she’s struggling with her feelings for Paul.” “Paul?...
March 23, 1982, McKinley, Ohio I had been extremely distracted during my drive from Circleville to McKinley, and was having real trouble concentrating on my review for O-Chem, and the guys noticed. “What’s bugging you?” Jason asked. “You seem like you’re on another planet.” “I know,” I agreed. “I’m having real trouble concentrating.” “That must have been a hell of a concert!” Pete laughed. “Of course, seeing my girlfriend wrap her lips around a saxophone might distract me, too!” “You’re...
April 30, 1982, Circleville, Ohio “Mom and Dad are out tonight,” Katy said. “Let’s cook together!” “Sure. What did you have in mind?” “Well, now that you have no restrictions because we don’t fast during the Paschal period, I was thinking two small filets, small lobster tails, and broccoli. Surf and turf, I guess.” “That sounds awesome!” I said, then smirked, “What about dessert?” Katy laughed softly, “I have some ideas!” “I bet!” I chuckled. “But we need to make sure we’re on the same...
October 12, 1981, McKinley, Ohio “Well THAT stinks,” Nancy said on Tuesday afternoon. “What happens now?” “I don’t know yet. I talked to Doctor Norris this morning after my chem mid-term and he’s confident nothing will happen. The problem is, I’m sure I’ve made an enemy of the Dean, and any minor slip-up on my part is going to become a Federal case.” “But why you?” “I had the misfortune to draw someone who felt she could use the discrimination procedure to get something she couldn’t...
November 8, 1981, McKinley, Ohio “Do you want me to disappear?” Angie asked as we walked into the dorm after church. “Why? Emmy knows I’m dating you. She’s not jealous. You know she’s coming to visit and she knows you know. It would be REALLY dumb to invite her here otherwise, don’t you think?” “Guys have been known to do dumb things from time to time!” “Not ones who want you to stick around.” “You do remember I told you my High School boyfriend screwed a close friend of mine behind my...
Great and Holy Friday, April 16, 1982, McKinley, Ohio As Angie and I stood quietly waiting for the Lamentations service to begin late on Friday, I thought about the series of services which had brought us here - Bridegroom Matins on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday evenings; Holy Unction on Wednesday evening; a Vesperal Divine Liturgy on Thursday morning celebrating the Last Supper, the Twelve Gospels service Thursday evening, celebrating the passion; the Royal Hours kept all day Friday; and...
November 2, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio “I did not come here for a lecture,” I said firmly. “I did what I felt was in Liz’s best interest. Again. Dad said we needed to talk, and I’m willing to talk. I am NOT willing to listen to a lecture.” “You do not decide what is best for your sister,” Mom said. “That is for your father and me, as well as the professionals.” “And what is Dad’s opinion on this?” I asked. “That is not the point, Mike!” I sighed. We’d been going around in circles on the...
March 5, 1982, Circleville, Ohio “What became of that police investigation?” Mrs. Malenkov asked when I arrived at Katy’s house on Friday evening. “Nothing so far. They haven’t caught the rapist. The school added some security and started a service to walk girls to and from class or work after dark.” “Why did they check on you, specifically?” “The suspect has brown hair and is about 5’10” and I came into the dorm maybe an hour after it happened. At first they had reports it was a black...
August 16, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio Liz threw her arms around me on Sunday morning when I walked out of my room. “Thank you! Thank you!” I hugged her tightly to me. “Mom let you out of ‘house arrest’?” “Yes. And I know you’re responsible. If you weren’t my brother, I’d kiss you!” “Just remember, you have to behave, because if you don’t...” “I know,” she sighed. “I’m on parole. Did Mom tell you that Paul agreed to plead guilty to one count of statutory rape and one count of oral sodomy...
November 23, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio On Monday morning, just after breakfast there was a knock at the door. I got up from the couch and went to open it. “Phil?” “Hi, Mike. Can we come in?” “We?” “This is Mrs. Laramy from Family Services.” “Hang on a second.” I went to the kitchen to get my dad, who followed me back to the foyer. “Hi, Phil,” Dad said. “What’s up?” “This is Mrs. Laramy from Family Services.” “Mr. Loucks? I have an order here to take custody of Elizabeth.” “What?!...
May 31, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio On Sunday morning as I dressed for church, I faced the true reality of what happened the previous night. My make-out sessions with April had, except on that single instance where I’d fondled her sweater-clad breast for more than a second or two, not gone far enough to be included in my confession. What had happened the previous night certainly had. I now faced effectively the same dilemma I would have faced had April and I gone to the motel after Prom. I...
August 21, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio On Friday morning, Mr. Mills called just after 6:00am to let me know that Jocelyn had gone into surgery, and that it would likely be mid-afternoon before he had any news. I thanked him and sat down at the table in the kitchen with a mug of tea I made and read the Rutherford Tribune. Nobody else was up, and I enjoyed the quiet for about an hour before my parents came into the kitchen. “Was that Jocelyn’s dad who called at 6:00am?” my dad asked. “Yes. I...
February 13, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “I visited Ohio State yesterday,” Nancy said when we had a chance to chat on Saturday morning. “And?” “I’m pretty sure I’m going to Taft like we talked about because I can live at home. But the tour was cool and our tour guides were absolutely hysterical.” “Oh?” “Yeah. A guy and his fiancée. He’s a criminal justice major and wants to be a US Marshal. She’s in pre-law and wants to be a criminal defense lawyer. They told some of the funniest stories about...
April 4, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Mishka!” Tasha squealed, hugging me tightly, but quickly releasing me because we were in the narthex of the church. “Hi, Tasha!” I said with a smile. She grabbed my hand and led me to the church hall where we got some food and coffee, then sat down by her parents. “Michael, how is school going?” Deacon Vasily asked. “All A’s so far, and I should finish the semester with a 4.0 average.” “Very good. And you’re attending church regularly?” “Yes. Every...
June 6, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio After Vespers on Saturday, I spent a few minutes talking to Tasha. “My dad isn’t sure karate is ‘ladylike’,” she said. “The uniforms cover more than those nice dresses you wear during the Summer!” “You noticed, Mike?” she asked with a soft laugh. “If I may be «некультурный», yes, of course! It’s difficult to miss a pretty girl with a nice body!” “Thank you! But do NOT say that around my dad! He’ll never let you see me again!” “So the answer is ‘no’?” “I...
September 26, 1981, McKinley, Ohio “What?!” I gasped. “How is she?” “I don’t know, and that’s the God’s honest truth. Her dad called from Rutherford Hospital and asked me to call you. All he said was that they were working on her.” “I’m leaving in about three minutes. That’s what I’ll need to get dressed.” “What about Becky?” “I’ll bring her, I guess. I can’t imagine her parents are going to be in Rutherford.” “She’s there with you?” “Yes. Beat me up about that later! I’m on my way to...
October 10, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio I froze and realized my first inclination to go back to McKinley had been the right one. I’d thought my talk with Becky the previous weekend had resolved the issue, but I was very clearly mistaken. I could actually go back. It was early enough, and I hadn’t told Tasha I was going to be home, so she wouldn’t be upset, and a phone call would make her very happy as the two I’d made so far had done. But there was one problem - all I could hear in my head was...
October 11, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio On Sunday morning, Becky and I got out of bed and snuck across the hall to the bathroom, where we got into the shower together. “Thank you,” she said as I lathered shampoo in her hair. “I was afraid you’d say ‘no’ and I’d have missed that.” “You’re OK?” I asked. “Mike, it’s what I wanted from the day I met you. I just knew you’d be perfect. You let me do exactly what I wanted and how I wanted. As I said, patient and gentle.” “You weren’t very gentle...
November 9, 1981, McKinley, Ohio “OK?” I asked, shocked enough that I was rocked back in my seat. “Yes. OK.” “OK to WHAT?” I asked warily. “Getting married.” “You can’t be serious! You’re afraid of French kissing and you want to get married?” Angie smirked, “Gotcha! You should see the look on your face!” “Nice.” I laughed. “You did get me!” “Sorry, I figured at that point I needed to do something to change the mood.” “By making my heart stop?!” “Oh, come on! The first thought that...
January 4, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “And so another semester begins,” I said when I met Angie at the elevators on Monday morning. “I saw your class schedule was basically the same.” “The only real change is I have the creative writing core requirement replacing the scientific writing class. I am so glad I chose to take those in the order I did - it made all the difference in the world for doing the lab reports.” “I’m not complaining! I ended up with an A in biology which I NEVER would have...
January 12, 1982, McKinley, Ohio Influenza was making the rounds of the dorm, and just about everyone had it by Tuesday morning, including me. I dragged myself out of bed, realized there was no way I was going to run, and climbed back into bed. I took some decongestant tablets from the box on the shelf next to my bed and swallowed them with a gulp of water. I hoped to fight the worst symptoms and be able to make it to lab. Angie had already said she wasn’t going to run, so I stayed in bed...
January 25, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “I have a message for Michael Loucks,” a young man announced just as biology class ended. “That’s me,” I said. “Dean Parker would like to see you immediately.” “I’ll go with you, Mike,” Doctor Stanton said. I had no clue what she could possibly want, but I appreciated Doctor Stanton coming with me. We made our way to the administration building. “I’m here to see Dean Parker,” I said. “I’m Mike Loucks.” “One moment,” the young woman at the desk...
January 31, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “You’re STILL struggling with that issue?” Jocelyn asked during our regular Sunday afternoon call. “Does it really surprise you?” “No, I suppose it doesn’t. I think the circumstances of the last year really caused you some serious heartache and anguish, and I’m not just talking about you and me. If you think about it, you and Emmy were ripped apart by her dad; you and Nancy were ripped apart by her difficulty with commitment; you and I were ripped apart by...
May 23, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio “Good morning, Mike!” my mom said when I arrived at the kitchen table for breakfast. “Hi, Mom,” I said. “What do you have planned for today?” “It’s all on the calendar, just like it has been since I could write,” I replied with a smile. “I work from 8:00am to noon, then I have my Saturday karate class at 1:00pm. Dale and I are playing chess after that, and Vespers are at 6:00pm. I’m taking April to the movies after church.” “What are you going to...
September 19, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio “Why are you sending me such mixed signals?” “Mixed signals?” Jocelyn and I were sitting on the couch, and she was cuddled next to me, at least as best she could, given her obvious discomfort from the injuries, catheter, and physical therapy. I had thought a lot after my talks with Doctor Hart, as well as my talks with Nancy. One thing I was seriously concerned about was getting more deeply involved with Nancy and messing things up with Jocelyn. I...
October 30, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio “Hi,” Jocelyn said when her dad led me into the living room. “Hi! I’m glad to see you at home.” “And we’re glad to have her home,” Mr. Mills said. “If you need anything, let us know.” I went over to sit next to Jocelyn on the couch. She scooted close and I put my arm around her. She sighed, kissed my cheek, and then snuggled. “I was glad to hear from Doctor Henderson that you could leave the hospital.” “And you should be seeing your sister!” “I will....
March 1, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “I have a meeting with the Dean to get permission to put up the flyers this afternoon,” Kurtis said at lunch. “We’ll only be escorting girls from our dorm. I talked to a couple of guys in other dorms who will organize theirs. I figured we couldn’t take care of everyone without some help.” “Cool,” Clark said. “Did anyone hear any more about the investigation?” “The Times said the police didn’t have any suspects, but were following leads,” Jeannette said. “What...
August 7, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio The Summer was rapidly disappearing and there were but two weeks before I moved to McKinley. Once my dad had calmed down, the Summer had returned to normal. It was almost as if everything was in a holding pattern, where each week had followed a simple pattern. I worked at the hardware store, went to the dojo, had dinner with Tasha on Wednesday, a date with Emmy on Friday, and the usual triple date on Saturday. Liz was still grounded, but Emmy was allowed to...
September 1, 1981, McKinley, Ohio Tuesday wasn’t quite as crazy as Monday. My first class after breakfast was the biology seminar. After the first day, this would be run by Laura Peters, a graduate student. I immediately decided the seminar would be valuable, as she would provide study guides, sample lab reports, and a host of other useful information, as well as address any challenges we encountered in our first semester at Taft. The most important thing is that there would be no outside...
November 1, 1981, McKinley, Ohio It was just past midnight when I walked into the Landers’ house. “Hi, Mike,” Mrs. Landers said. “Nancy said you might show up. I’m glad you did!” “Hi, Mrs. Landers,” I replied. “Don’t mind me,” she smiled. “If you two want to go on to bed, that’s OK.” “You better call Ripley’s once more,” I grinned. “I’m going to turn Nancy down on her offer. Again.” Mrs. Landers laughed and shook her head, “I told her you were a keeper! Then I will go to bed so you can...
February 19, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “Angie!” I exclaimed, as I hurried toward the girls, who appeared tired, but otherwise OK. I took Angie in my arms and hugged her tightly. “Are you OK?” I asked. “Yes,” she said. “I’m sorry I’m late, but we were at the party and the police wouldn’t let us leave or make phone calls until they interviewed everyone who was there.” “What happened?” Melody asked. “A girl from the seventh floor was raped,” Jeannette said. “Who was it?” “Some girl named...
April 8, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Liz wanted me to talk to you,” I said to my mom on Thursday evening. “I assumed she’d put you up to this.” “I only promised to talk to you, and told Liz not to count on anything changing.” “Good call. We’ve given her as much freedom as your father and I think is reasonable. Has she talked to you about Paul Reynolds?” I nodded, “I know how she feels about him. But he’s in prison. Don’t forget she was raped before that, and anything that happened after the...
May 30, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio It was with more than a little trepidation that I drove home from karate class. I didn’t really want to talk to April, but I knew I had to. The bottom line was church. It didn’t matter to a lot of people, but it mattered to me. I feared that my conversation with April was simply going to go around in circles, and end with her crying again. Unfortunately, I didn’t see how that could be avoided. “You should go see her,” Mom said when I came downstairs after my...
June 10, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio “OK, now I am SERIOUSLY worried about coming to church on Saturday!” I laughed as I put the car in gear. “And why is that Mishka Petrovich?” Tasha asked with a small laugh. “Your dad told me it was OK to take you for ice cream after dinner without me asking. I swear, if I come into church on Saturday for Vespers and the table is there with the crowns...” I was laughing and so was Tasha. “And being married to me would be so terrible?” she asked with fake...
June 15, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio “Negative,” Liz whispered happily when I came home from work on Monday. “Thank God,” I said. We both had been on pins and needles since the previous Monday, and the news had come as a relief. Jocelyn and Dale had noticed I was on edge on Saturday night, and I’d pulled them aside briefly to tell them what had happened. They were both in agreement that I had no choice but to report the guy. Jocelyn offered to emasculate him with a rusty spoon, which had me...
August 22, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio “What do you want to do today?” I asked Becky as we walked to my car. “Anything you want.” “Anything?” I smirked. “Like saying that was really a risk?” “You never know,” I chuckled. “What if it’s all been an act?” “HAS it all been an act?” she asked in a silly tone as I opened the passenger door for her. “Of course not!” I said, closing the door. I walked around the car and got in, started the engine, and backed out. “Not implying anything,” Becky...
November 20, 1981, McKinley, Ohio I got up from the couch and walked over to where Nancy was standing. She took my hand and led me to her bedroom where she shut and locked the door. She stood in front of me, and I held out my arms. She stepped forward and melted against me, sighing deeply as she put her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms tightly around her and held her. “I’ve wanted this for months,” she whispered. I moved one of my hands to lift Nancy’s chin so we could kiss. Our lips...
November 25, 1981, Rutherford, Ohio “Family Court for Harding County is now in session, Judge Martha Lee, presiding. You may be seated.” The small courtroom was packed with doctors, lawyers, and our family. Nobody from the general public was permitted because Liz was a minor. “Ladies and gentlemen,” Judge Lee said, “this is a status hearing on an emergency custody petition which I signed on Sunday evening. The procedure is a bit less formal than in a normal courtroom. That said, please...
June 5, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio “What do you want to do tonight?” I asked Emmy after she got into my Mustang on Friday evening. “Anything,” she said with a smile. “Whatever you want!” “There’s a new skydiving place that opened in Clermont County over by Cincinnati. I saw an ad in the newspaper.” “OK,” she laughed, “maybe not ANYTHING!” “Too exciting for you?” I laughed as I put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway. “Too risky! What happens if your parachute doesn’t...