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All movement stopped again. Voices died down. Phoenix said, "Really?" sounding surprised, and a smidgeon happier, so I thought I had eked out at least a partial victory.
"Absolutely," I said. "All your friends are ... um ... inspiring." Don't ask me why I chose that word.
Then things got weird again.
"But not me," said Phoenix.
"What?"
"I'm not ... inspiring," she said. Her voice was flat.
In case any of you readers out there are males in your early teens ... this is the kind of thing waiting for you when you get involved with girls. They do not do what they are expected to do, or act like they are expected to act. And what they do do and how they do act, is incomprehensible to the average guy. And I'm fully aware that I'm not the expert. I'm just sayin'.
Not being stupid, I heard a clue that I had hurt my sister's feelings.
"Not at all," I said, naysaying her suggestion. The girls stiffened as one, though, and I realized they had interpreted what I'd said completely wrong. "You're not inspiring. You're smokin' hot," I said in a panic.
It was Frankie who put the last nail in my coffin. She had gotten hold of those prints I had made, and she walked up to me. She held up the one of Phoenix, right in front of my face.
"I've licked your sister's pussy," she said softly. "She's delicious, Tut."
"Frankie!" gasped at least three girls, one of whom was my sister.
Frankie stepped to one side, and I thought she'd just decided to fuck with me or something, but then I realized what she'd done.
My cock was hard again.
There is something that parents, school counselors, and just about every other adult tell kids. They usually say something like this: "Just tell the truth. It always works out better if you just tell the truth." And kids, of course, know better, because if you tell the truth, it usually gets you in big trouble.
The operative word there is "usually."
I was in a world of hurt, socially speaking. I had (probably) offended everyone. I was on everybody's shit list. My lust for my own sister had just been exposed. What had started out to be a fairly normal night had somehow gotten all fucked up. And trying to extricate myself from the fucked-upedness of it all hadn't worked out. If anything it had made things worse.
So, as a last resort, I told the truth.
"Yes," I said, trying to make my voice sound confident. "I have a great appreciation for my sister's beauty. Part of me looks at her as any male would look at any female." I glanced at each of them in turn. "As any male might look at each of you. And all of you have qualities that appeal to me. I think all of you are pretty hot, for that matter. And yes, when I saw your pictures on that site, I saved them because I intended to look at them in the future." I looked at Phee. "Including yours. I'm not proud of it, but I admit it. I'll delete all the pictures. I won't go looking for more. I'm sorry that I disappointed you ... all of you. I know there never would have been anything between any of us, but I'm sorry I lost your respect."
"You never had our respect!" Frankie's voice was higher than usual and she actually giggled, which didn't go with her words at all. Danni, who was standing right next to her, elbowed her so hard that she had to take a step sideways to recover. Frankie's face suddenly got very red and she turned away from me.
"Go on," said Danni.
Go on? What else was there to say? I had said my piece ... bared my inner thoughts.
"That's it," I said, shrugging my shoulders.
"So you're hot for all of us," said Danni.
I decided they weren't finished punishing me yet. I also decided to let them finish, so I could get on with what was left of my miserable life. It turned out to be a pivotal decision in my ... miserable life.
"Yeah," I said. "I guess so."
Danni looked at Phee, who had another strange, incomprehensible look on her face.
"See? I told you so."
I was lost again. My sister had come to me and taken my hand. She pulled me to her bed and pushed me until I sat on it. The girls lined up facing me ... between me and the bathroom door.
"Would somebody please tell me what's going on?" I asked, finally realizing something a lot of men never learn at all: Women sometimes have the answer that a man just can't find.
"I need to ask you some questions," said Phee. "Will you answer them?"
I blinked. It was a very simple question. But the way she asked it made my teenaged male radar light up like crazy. There was danger here.
"Maybe," I said.
She considered that. I mean she actually thought about my answer. It was weird.
"Will you promise that whatever we talk about right now will be a secret ... between just us?"
"What does that mean?" I asked. "You act like we're talking about national security." I tried a grin. Things were entirely too heavy at the moment.
"What that means is I want you to promise you'll never tease us about it ... never tell anybody else what was said. You could hurt us."
"Don't be silly," I scoffed. And I really scoffed, because the idea of hurting any of them was ridiculous. But, just in case they didn't know that, I told them. "I'd never hurt any of you. That's just ridiculous."
"What if we embarrassed you?"
This had gone from something bizarre and incomprehensible to something I thought I might actually be able to understand. I could tell people about the pictures. I could show people where to find them. If they embarrassed me ... whatever that meant ... I might embarrass them. What could be more embarrassing than having other people seeing those pictures?
"I'd find some other way to get even," I said. "I promise I will never, ever tell anybody about the pictures."
"I'm not talking about the pictures!" she snapped.
I blinked again while I thought. "Okay," I said, trying to make it sound like I understood.
"Just promise me!" she insisted.
Now that voice I knew. It was the voice of a juvenile conspirator. We had done lots of things together that could have gotten us in trouble, but that voice said the trouble wasn't intended to catch me up in it. We had sworn oaths to each other in the past. They were silly oaths, but we took them seriously.
"Okay!" I said. "But don't make me sorry I promised."
She relaxed. That made me feel better. I still didn't know what was going on, but she was acting more normal.
She delayed a long time before speaking again. Finally, Denise poked her and she looked at me.
"What would you say if we ... us girls ... wanted to ask you some questions ... questions about ... um ... guys."
"Questions about guys," I repeated, wondering what she was talking about. I knew girls had arcane secrets they passed on only to those with two X chromosomes. These were the homogametic secrets that males could not know, lest the universe dissolve. But guys didn't have that kind of knowledge, so I didn't know what she meant.
"Yes," she said. "Stuff guys won't usually talk about."
"Like what?" I asked.
I guess Danni thought I was being coy or something, because she stepped up beside Phee.
"Like how a guy jerks off. Would you talk about that?"
Phee pushed her aside with a hiss that sounded something like "You impatient slut!" but it might have been "Don't act like a duck!" I went for the duck thing, even though it didn't make any sense. The concept of Danni being a slut just didn't compute.
It was very quiet. I later found out Phee was trying to think of something to say, but I thought they were waiting for an answer.
"What good would it do for me to tell you that?" I asked. "You don't have the right equipment to do that with."
It was quiet again, and Beth said something under her breath that sounded a lot like "What a dumb fuck," but might have been "We're in luck!"
"It's possible," said Frankie, "that we might have a need to do that to a guy some time in the future. Not that I am all that eager to try it, but some day I might need to know how that works. Right?"
"Oh!" I said, genuinely surprised. No girl had ever offered to do that for me, and I'd never even think of asking one to. That could lead to being grounded for life.
"There are things boys don't like to talk about to girls," said Phee. "We don't understand why. We were hoping you'd be willing to talk about them with us. That's why we came to your room tonight ... to ask you."
I thought about that. It wasn't threatening at all, save for the fact that I might not know half the answers they were looking for, myself. Phee and I had both led a fairly sheltered youth. At least I had. Looking at those pictures, I realized Phee had done a heck of a lot more experimenting than I had. And I was the big brother!
At last, I began connecting some dots. Bits and pieces of what had already happened that night started popping into my head. It started with some of the things Danni had said.
She had said I would have seen the pictures sooner or later.
She had said she waited in the bathroom for a long time before I "barged in on her."
She had been insistent in asking me why I had an erection ... or who I had an erection because of.
When I said it was all of them ... not one squealed in horror.
Not even my sister.
Danni had said, "See? I told you so!" as if they had discussed this very concept before.
And now they wanted to ask me intimate questions ... apparently about relationships between boys and girls.
The not stupid part of me tried to convince the rest of me that there was the potential for terrible things to happen if I said yes. I could say the wrong thing. It could be revealed that I was as uninformed as they claimed to be. And maybe I was! That part of me whispered, "Say no right now, and get back to your room!"
But there was another part of me that said, "Did she say you'd have seen those pictures anyway? What else might you get to see? What kind of questions? Will there be hands-on instruction?" There could be happy things in all this ... somehow. Just the idea of them being willing to show me pictures of themselves naked sent a shot of stiff to my groin. I'd be an idiot not to offer them whatever they wanted, on the chance that I might get something kind of fun in return. Right?
Then the half-grown part of my prefrontal cortex that had started to work out rational thought put in its two cents worth.
It would probably be imprudent to act too eager. I'd already tried that on dates, and that tack didn't work for shit. It was supposed to convince a girl you thought she was unbelievably hot and that was why you couldn't control your desires. All it ever got me was slugged. Plus those girls never went out with you again.
"It's possible I don't have all the answers," I said.
"Awwww," said Beth. "He's got humility!"
I wasn't sure whether she was serious or making fun of me.
"You guys have to promise you won't use any of this to embarrass me either," I said firmly.
"Deal!" said Danni. The other girls looked at her like she had just kicked a puppy. She was looking at me, though, and didn't notice.
"Just like that?" Frankie sounded troubled.
"I told you he'd do it," said Danni.
It had gotten quiet again. I stood up, and somehow the girls all ended up huddled together on Phee's bed. It was like nobody knew where to start. And I didn't know what to say, so I stood there, looking at them.
"You've seen us naked," Danni finally ventured.
That seemed obvious, so I just nodded.
"So we should get to see you naked."
I took a deep breath. What the heck was that all about? Since when did girls want to see guys naked? I'd never heard of that one before.
"I mean it only seems fair," said Danni.
"I thought you just wanted to ask questions," I said.
"So the first question is: What do you look like naked?"
Instead of saying, "Who put you in charge?!" I decided to go with something that might get me out of it.
"So who else wants to see me naked besides Danni?" I figured that would solve that problem, because there was no way the others would vote for that.
Frankie, of all people, raised her hand first. When Beth saw that her hand shot up, too. Denise was right with her. Danni raised both of her hands.
"You already voted," I said, giving her a sour look. "And you sure don't get two votes."
"I had to vote for Phee because she's too chicken to put her own hand up," said Danni, smoothly.
"I am not!" yipped my sister. "I just don't want to see him ... that way."
Arisha
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