I met Freddie in the summer of 1980.
San Diego was my home town, but I lived in a rural community in the Laguna Mountains, of San Diego County. I was major radio junky, and I always called into to win what ever contest was being promoted at the time.
I won movie tickets, shirts, food coupons, albums, and money. But the jewel in my contest crown was Queen’s The Game Tour.
The contest consisted of being the correct caller, and answering some trivia questions. The trivia questions were: 1. What is the name of Brian May’s guitar? 2.Where was Freddie Mercury born? 3.Which member of the band wrote Another One Bites The Dust? 4.What is Roger in love with?
I was the correct caller. I knew all the answers. I won!
(The answers by the way are:
1.The Red Special.
2. Stone Town, Zanzibar
3. John Deacon
4. His car. )
I was over the moon. I won a VIP trip to Queen’s The Game Tour. It was July the fifth, 1980.
The package included one front row center seat at the San Diego Sports Arena, one night in the Hotel del Coronado, limo service from the hotel to the event and back, plus a backstage pass, a meeting with the band members, which included dinner. There were also a lot of souvenirs and memorabilia.
During the concert, Freddie actually invited me up on stage to show off “the contest winner” to the audience. It was part of the promotion, and he had to do it. He introduced me just before they sang Fat Bottomed Girls. Freddie actually slapped my butt as he introduced the song, while I was walking back to my seat.
During the rest of the show, I noticed that Freddie glanced at me a lot.
After the show, I was driven to the Hotel del Coronado. The band all had rooms there. Freddie had one of the cottages. It had three bedrooms, three bathrooms, its own private pool and hot tub, a full kitchen complete with staff, and an amazing view of the Pacific Ocean.
I was escorted to Freddie’s cottage, where there were photographers and reporters. Freddie refused to do an interview, but he did allow them to take pictures of him with me, “The contest winner.” It was a rather chaotic. The radio station who had sponsored the contest, had their people all over, advertising their station everywhere. I felt like I was a product in a commercial; being called “the contest winner” over and over.
Dinner was served on the patio of the cottage. I really don’t even remember what was served. I think it was roast prime rib of beef, but I just wasn’t paying that much attention to the food. It might have been some sort of fish.
The members of the band were polite and cordial, but they were pretty hyped up from the concert and were sort of running around, drinking, arguing with each other, throwing things across the room.
I sort of wandered around, looking at things, and I saw a big Scrabble board set up, with a game going. I love Scrabble, and I asked who was playing. Someone told me Freddie had been playing with someone, but he had left. I piped up and announced how much I love playing and I am rather a good player. Freddie heard me, and challenged me to finish the game he’d already started.
I sat down and looked around the room. The party was still going strong. I was surprised that Freddie would be playing a game when the festivities were still going on all around him. We played a few rounds, but then I happened to get some good letters, which led me to getting a high point word. I even remember the word…ironically, it was Queening. I was able to place the word just so, that I had the Q and the G on triple words scores. I ended up with two hundred twenty-five points. Freddie squealed with delight at such a word, but could not believe that HE didn’t get to use that word. In fact, he counted up the score of that word four times, just to be sure it really was worth two hundred twenty-five. He told me, he feels he should always win.
I looked into his eyes, batted my eyelashes and smiled. I laughed wickedly, and flippantly said, “Ha ha, Mr. Mercury, you have met your match!” I said this with a quasi-British accent, while I did one of his flamboyant hand gestures. Freddie burst out laughing.
Suddenly, Freddie was looking at me. Not like I was just some groupie or star struck fan. He saw me as a person. He smiled into my eyes, and said, “Maybe I have!” When his eyes met mine, I swear I heard a buzzing click…like electricity running through wires. My insides turned over, and I felt a rush, like that electricity had passed through me.
I instantly fell in love with Freddie.
We finished that game, which I actually won. We played two more games; Freddie won those two. But we had an incredible time, making up funny words, exchanging sarcastic remarks, making fun of life. We bonded over that silly Scrabble board, if one can believe it.
I could not believe I was joking around with the lead singer of Queen. He was so down to earth, even rather shy. He also didn’t even seem to realize how young I was.
I did not look my age. In 1980, I was already five feet ten inches, and about one hundred-thirty pounds. I am very large boned, with large feet and hands. I always felt like I was bigger than everyone around me. I felt like a misfit, so tall and so big. I always thought of myself as a mountain on legs. I tried to draw attention away from my over sized frame, by wearing a lot of make up. I love mascara, and I piled it on. My lashes are very long, and the mascara just made them even longer. Anyway, I looked like I was about twenty-two years old. I’d been told that for several years. When I was thirteen, I sat in a bar with my cousin. Bartender told me I could stay, as long as I didn’t drink or dance. Several men asked me to dance. They all thought I was over twenty-one.
So no one even bothered to ask me how old I was. One member of the crew was quite interested in getting a lot friendlier with me. I might have been rather naive, but I knew if I fooled around with a member of the crew, I would be discounted as an easy lay, just another star-fuck. I decided I wanted to be remembered for something more than that. Even if it was just a scrabble game.
While Freddie and I were playing Scrabble, three or four members of the crew came over and tried to engage me into conversation. I would answer their questions, but I was focused on Freddie, who was focused on the game. He would wave his hand in a flourish, and one of his crew members would discretely ask what he needed, then bring it to him. Freddie would tell his crew guy to fulfill my wishes as well. I didn’t want much, but I had one glass of champagne with Freddie; he insisted. Bowls of M&M’s were brought over, along with different canapés, pitchers of ice water, and fresh fruits.
To my now chagrin, I had started smoking when I was fifteen, so Freddie and I were practically chain smoking. We kept running out of cigarettes. The crew members were sent to the gift shop for cigarettes, then to the local Seven-Eleven when the gift shop closed.
After the three games of Scrabble, Freddie got bored with the game, and wanted to go out to the beach. I figured this would be where he would send me off home. But he didn’t. He told me to take off my shoes, then he took my hand, and led me down to the shore. We looked across the harbor, at the Coronado Bay bridge, and the twinkling lights of San Diego. We could even see the outlines of the mountains that lay to the East. I pointed in the general direction of where I lived, and I told Freddie that I was a mountain girl, not a flat-lander. I lived up in the Laguna Mountains. (Laguna is pronounced Luh GOON uh.) This seemed to tickle him for some reason. From that point on, he called me Laguna or Lilly Flower. (Freddie was fond of funny sounding words, and he was delighted with the word Laguna.) Maybe he thought the word suited me, that I was a goon. I never did ask.
As we walked along the water, getting our feet wet, Freddie asked me how I’d become such a ruthless Scrabble player for one so young. (Hmm…maybe he did know my age.) I replied that where I lived, there wasn’t much to do, so I played with my mom and friends all the time. If I couldn’t find a partner, I played solitaire Scrabble. I would also make up crossword puzzles and give them to my friends to figure out. I was a total word nerd. I also read a lot, so I had a great vocabulary.
This seemed to intrigue Freddie. I had no idea why. He asked me a lot of questions about my life, and seemed genuinely interested in my answers. When I told him the story about how my father had thrown us out, (mother, brother and me) when I was twelve, and how blindsided we all were, how devastated, he got tears in his eyes.
He then asked me if I hated my father. I was shocked by this question. “No, not at all! I love my dad. Why would I hate him?”
Freddie looked into my eyes again. Almost like he was probing for my soul. He touched my hair, then my cheek. “He hurt you. He betrayed you,” he whispered.
My lower lip quivered a bit when I replied, “I was taught that forgiveness is the greatest gift that a person can give. Plus, he is my Daddy. How could I not forgive him?” This was a question that had never even occurred to me. I never even thought about NOT loving or forgiving my father. Wow, this was getting really deep! I was wondering why Freddie was asking me these things.
Freddie said he liked talking to a regular person. Not someone in show business, or someone who just wanted to say they met Freddie Mercury. I told Freddie, that I really DID want to meet him, and I was forever grateful that I’d won that contest. This experience was going to be something I’d always treasure, and I knew I had to enjoy it all now, because it would end. Soon I’d leave, go back to my mountain life, and Freddie would move on to the next city in the tour.
Suddenly, Freddie stopped, turned to me, and embraced me. I was taken by surprise, and didn’t quite know how to react. I guess I was a bit stiff. Freddie said, “Oh, really, Darling, it’s ok to hug me back. I won’t hurt you.” My arms slipped around Freddie's waist. Since we are the same height, we were cheek to cheek. I could feel my blood beginning to race, and I felt warm all over. I could smell Freddie's hair. It had a soft herbal scent, with a hint of jasmine. Oh, I wanted to just smell his hair for the rest of my life.
“You know, Dear,” Freddie began, “Your name suits you. You’re soft, and pretty, and you have that wonderful lily white skin. Also, lilies are big flowers, and you’re the biggest woman I’ve ever held in my arms.”
Biggest woman? Oh, no! No wonder he called me Laguna. …he, too, thought I was a mountain on legs! He does think I’m a freak of nature. I knew it!
Tears came into my eyes, and my throat closed up. Freddie leaned back a little to look at my face. “Lovey, why are you crying?” He brushed a tear from my cheek.
“Because I’m so big and awkward. When I said I was a mountain girl, I didn’t mean I’m really a mountain! I knew I was like an Amazon woman. I’ll go home now.” And I tried to pull away, but Freddie held on to me.
Stroking my hair, he said,“No, no, you misunderstand me. You’re not awkward, and you’re not an Amazon, you’re not a mountain on legs” at this point, Freddie began to laugh. But he continued, “I’ve just never held a woman who is as tall as I am. You feel so good to hold. I can feel you in my arms.”
I looked into his face. His eyes penetrated mine, and my knees went weak. He actually likes me for me; he isn’t put off by my size.
“You know that I like both boys and girls,” Freddie said. “You are like holding both. I like men that are at least my own size, but I love holding girls. They’re so soft. You’re both. I love it.”
I was speechless. I just gazed into Freddie's eyes. My upset tears turned to tears of joy. Freddie brushed another stray tear off my cheek, then leaned over and kissed me. The warmth of his lips on mine was amazing. His newly grown mustache was soft and silky on my cheek. My arms tightened around his waist, and I again inhaled his scent. His body was pressed against mine, and I could feel his thighs against mine; plus something else pressed against my hip. From what I could feel, the rumors about his manliness were all true. But, I’d never held a man who was aroused before. I wasn’t quite sure if that was Freddie’s microphone, or his cock.
“Darling Laguna, I like you. I like you a lot. You’re very easy to talk to. Can I ask a favor? Would you let me be your friend? I have a lot of people around me, but I don’t actually have a lot of real friends. I want someone I can talk to, who isn’t just after what they can get. I get a vibration from you, that makes me think I can trust you. You’re young, and unspoiled. And you feel good when I hold you. Will you let me be your friend? I know I am a lot older than you are. But I won’t break your heart, I promise.” Freddie’s voice was very soft, and a little husky when he made this speech. I was absolutely bowled over. The lead singer of Queen, the best band in the whole fucking world, wants to be friends with me! The big awkward mountain on legs.
“Freddie, I’d love to be your friend. I won’t ever hurt you, or betray you. When I make friends with someone, to me, it’s for life. The other person has to do something terrible to me before I can even consider cutting them out of my life. Remember what I said about forgiving people. I also think that if I love someone, I love them forever. That is the other most precious gift I can give. I come from a rather poor family, so I am not materialistic. I don’t have anything to give, except my love and friendship. To me, a good friend is the best gift I can get. Someone I, too, can trust and love.” My voice was wavering, and I was near tears again. Only this time, I didn’t know what my tears were about. It felt like our souls were merging.
Freddie smiled and touched my cheek, then my lips. “Friends, then.”
I happened to glance to the East, again, and I noticed that the horizon was getting light. The sun was on the rise. I’d spent the whole night with Freddie Mercury!
“Let’s watch the sun come up,” he said. He took my hand again, and we walked over to some nearby benches and watched the sun rise. There were wispy clouds in the East, and the sky turned pink and yellow. I’d never seen such a beautiful sunrise.
I knew that my enchanted night was over. It was time to return to real life.
Room service provided a lovely breakfast, and it was time for me to leave. Freddie took my address and phone number, and gave me his. I tucked it into my wallet, behind my drivers license, so I would always know where it was. I knew he’d never call me; I’d never see him again.
Freddie embraced me again, kissed my cheeks, my lips, and my eyes. He whispered, “My friend, my Laguna. You’ll be hearing from me.” He then slipped his hand into his pocket, and brought out a slim silver ring, that had a tiny crown engraved on it. Freddie slipped it on my right hand little finger. “This is a friendship ring, from me to you.” He then kissed the ring on my finger.
The limo was waiting for me at the front of the hotel. I dozed off on the drive home. I dreamed of Freddie all the way home. I was positive that dreams were all I would ever have.
When I got home, my mother was waiting for me. I told her all about my amazing, perfect night. She was excited for me, because she was a Queen fan herself. However, she wasn’t too happy that I was in a man’s hotel room all night. I did explain that we were not alone, and everyone were very polite to me. I showed her all the goodies I received, including a photo of me and Queen.
While I was showing her my loot, the telephone rang. I figured it was one of my friends, wanting to know about the concert. I grabbed it, and answered in my silliest voice, stretching the greeting out like a rubber-band.
“Heeeellloooooo??”
“I mean, really..I hope I have the correct number. I’m looking for my friend, who I’ve recently named Laguna. You might know her by her real name, however. It’s Lilly.”
I dropped the phone, recognizing Freddie’s voice. Hurriedly, I grabbed it and said hello in my normal voice. “Hello, Freddie! Wow, I didn’t expect to hear from you, uh, so soon.” I stammered, and my mouth went dry. My mother was staring at me.
“Darling, I told you I’d keep in touch. I didn’t want to leave town without telling you how much I enjoyed our time together. Also, I’ll be very busy on this tour, so you might not hear from me very often. I’ll send you postcards. But I’m not going to let you forget me. We’re friends, remember?”
I told him that yes, I remember we’re friends, and how happy I was meeting him, and thank you for calling me. After he rang off, I just fell on the floor.
My mother continued to stare at me. “What? Why would a thirty-four year old man want to be friends with a girl your age? What does he really want?” Oh, parents could be such buzz-kills. But I understood her concern. The whole situation was unusual.
I told her about our talk on the beach. How he felt he could connect with me. He wanted a friend he could talk to, who wasn’t the typical jaded show biz folk, or the crazed fan.
“Its not like he will be coming over here all the time. He just wants to write letters, and call on the phone now and then. We like each other. Plus, Mother, he..ahem…likes guys.” I didn’t know if this would be a plus or minus in Freddie's favor.
Mother looked at me, long and steady. “Ok. I guess it won’t hurt to be his friend. Just don’t fall in love with him. (yeah, right, Mom! Too late!) I don’t want you to end up broken hearted. I think being pen pals, and the occasional phone call is fine, but nothing more than that. But in all honestly, I don’t think he is going to remain in touch. I think he was just being nice. I’m sure theres nothing to worry about.”
Much to my delight, and my mothers surprise, Freddie did stay in touch with me. He sent me post cards and letters from different places he was touring. He would call me at Christmas and my birthday, and July the fifth, the day we met. I was very touched that he even remembered the date.
In addition to letters and calls, Freddie would send me little tchotchke’s he found around the world. Since he knew my passion for music, and that I played the french horn, many of the gifts he’d send would be musical, or horn related. The most incredible thing he sent me was a solid gold french horn he’d found at Tiffanys. It was about three inches around, and was inlaid with different colored gems. I have it still. He also would send me different lilies, for obvious reasons.
I would send Freddie a letter once a week, sent to his London home. I couldn’t afford to buy him gifts, so I’d include photos, poems I’d written, doodles I’d drawn. I’d tell him about my life, about what was new in my town, hanging out with my pals. And I always told him how much I cared about him.
One thing I never did was talk about Freddie too much with my own friends. I promised Freddie that I’d keep our friendship on the quiet. My friends knew I’d met him, and that he’d occasionally contact me, but I never told anyone that Freddie considered me his friend. As much as I wanted to brag to everyone, I respected Freddie’s privacy. I knew if I told anyone too much, it might be leaked, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was betray Freddie.
Freddie was in the United States at one point, working on a record deal. He sent me a plane ticket to Los Angeles, so I could visit him while he was in California. He got me a suite of my own, near his. He took me on a sight-seeing tour, to many famous restaurants, to an opera and a ballet. During the performances, he would always hold my hand, and occasionally kiss it. He often would touch my hair, or my cheek, and smile into my eyes.
I could not help falling deeper in love with him. I know that sounds like a line from a song, but it was so true! Freddie was always so wonderful to be with, always such gentleman. He introduced me to a few celebrities, and his friends, and always referred to me as “Laguna, his California lily.” He was always making me laugh.
Freddie was very strict with me. He would not allow me to accompany him to any of the nightclubs he went to, and would only allow me to have one glass of champagne per day. He monitored the people I met, to be sure no one was anything but polite to me.
At the time, Freddie had a male lover, named Tag (a pseudonym). On the last night of my stay in Los Angeles, Freddie and Tag had a fight. I was unaware of what was happening until at three am, someone was beating on my door. I opened it up, and found Freddie, visibly upset, disheveled, and shirtless.
“Laguna, Darling, let me in please. I am in a state,” in a voice I’d never heard him use. He sort of pushed passed me, and collapsed on couch in my room. I was instantly upset, seeing his obvious distress.
“Freddie, what happened?” I sat next to him, and took his hand, the way he would take mine.
“Love, I don’t want to bore you with details. Let’s just say, I need some time away from drama. Away from conflict. Really, I need to unwind a bit. I had a nasty argument with Tag. I fear he is taking advantage. He did too much blow tonight, and got quite violent. May I stay with you?”
Like I’d refuse? I was rather hoping this might turn into a seduction.
But, no, after Freddie settled down, we talked for while. Freddie slept beside me, held me in his arms, but did not attempt to seduce me. Maybe because I was still so young. Although I had left school, I wasn’t even twenty years old. I was still innocent. I was happy to just cuddle with him. I could lie there forever, enjoying his scent. I was enamored with all of Freddie’s chest hair, and his furry underarms. After he fell asleep, I stroked his chest, and kept petting his armpits. I did dare to kiss his neck. I didn’t want to sleep, because I didn’t want this moment to end. When I did sleep, my cheek rested against his chest.
When I awoke, Freddie was in the parlor area, drinking tea and working a crossword puzzle. He’d ordered food and tea and coffee. He smiled at me, sipped from his cup, and thanked me for “letting him unwind.” I sat down, poured me a cup of coffee, and drank it quickly, then poured another cup. I was rather groggy, after being woken up so early, then staying up with Freddie.
We talked for a short time, he teased me about my love of coffee, then told me he needed to go. He had to be at a recording studio soon, and was going to be busy for rest of his visit.
Freddie wrapped his arms around me, hugged me tight, and kissed me. “It was so lovely to see you again, my Laguna. I had a wonderful time with you.”
I immediately teared up, knowing my time with Freddie was over. But I didn’t want him to know how much it hurt leaving him. I thanked him for this trip, for all he’d done with me and for me. As I held him, whispering my thanks against his neck, the words just crept out. “I love you, Freddie.”
Freddie put his hands on my shoulders, and held me at arms length, looking at me with those intense brown eyes. I was afraid of what I might see there. Rejection? Amusement? All I saw was love and understanding.
“Darling, I love you, too. I began to love you when you kicked my ass at Scrabble. You are my flower, my darling Lilly, my Laguna.” That was the first time I’d heard Freddie say my real name since we’d first met. My knees went weak.
But I could tell, by his tone of voice, and the way he was looking at me, that I was his special friend, not a potential, future lover.
“Freddie, may I ask you a favor?” I whispered. I was trying not to get too emotional. “In a couple of years I’ll be twenty-one. Would you please spend my twenty-first birthday with me? I would like to give you a very special gift. I know I can’t give it to you on your birthday, but its something I’ve been saving for you. Do you think we can meet on my birthday, so I can give you your gift?” I started to shake, like I always do when I am nervous.
Freddie looked into my eyes again, only with a little puzzlement. “Love, really, you don’t need to give me anything. I already have everything!” He smiled at me again, while gesturing with his hand.
“Please, Freddie, it's very important to me. But I want to wait until I am twenty-one. It is something I want to give, only to you.” I pleaded with my eyes a little. A stray tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. Freddie brushed it away with a finger.
“If it is that important to you, Lovey, then yes, I will accept your gift. Can you give me a hint?” Oh, he is the most wonderful man in the world!
“All I can tell you, is it will take at least twenty-four hours of absolute alone time with you.” My heart was beating so fast. I couldn’t believe I was even saying these words to him. Freddie’s eyes changed a bit, almost as if he’d guessed what my “gift” to him is going to be. He cocked his head, and studied me intently.
“If you are offering me what I think you’re offering me, really, I want you to think about it more. Do I deserve that gift? Are you sure you want me to have it?” He stroked my cheek again. “Don’t answer me. Answer yourself. When the time comes, if you still want to share with me, I will be honored to accept what you wish to give me. I want you to be sure this is what you want to do with it.”
Gazing into those unfathomable liquid brown eyes, I knew I’d never change my mind. But I agreed to seriously consider what I was thinking.
“And, yes, Darling! I’d love to spend your twenty-first birthday with, you, too. I mean, really, it’s too bad that the legal drinking age in the US is twenty-one. You’d have been able to party with me in England already! But, yes, we can have a great day and night. I’ll make some arrangements, and you’ll have the best twenty-first birthday since my own!”
“Oh, Freddie, you’re the best friend ever!” I squealed, and hugged him tight, then kissed him. It was the first time I’d ever been the first to kiss. I realized what I’d done, and backed away a little.
Freddie drew me back to him, and gazed into my eyes. I could feel the heat coming from his hypnotic liquid brown eyes. He then touched my lips with his finger, then kissed me in a way that made me almost faint. It was a soft gentle kiss, but it was more than just a friendship kiss. His lips were soft yet strong. He even slipped his tongue between my lips, and found mine. His arms were around me, his hands sliding up my back into my hair. Again, my knees went weak, and I felt warm all over. He broke off our kiss, and buried his face in my hair. His arms tightened around me.
“Darling, I have to go. I have an appointment at the Columbia building in twenty minutes. Will you be all right? I didn’t hurt you did I?” Freddie whispered in my ear.
I pulled away and looked into his amazing brown eyes, so full of feeling and passion. “Hurt me? No, of course not! Thank you for giving me such a wonderful time.” And, me being me, I began to tear up again.
“No, my Lilly, don’t do that.” He kissed my cheeks again, wiping away my tears. “I do have to go now, dear. Remember, darling Laguna, I do love you. You’re my sweet girl. I’ll be in touch. Look for something in the post. I’ve already had it sent to you.” He kissed me again, then walked out the door.
I was hoping it wasn’t the last time I’d ever see him. I was nervous that I’d gone too far.
The day after I got home, a certified package arrived. Inside the box, I found a photo album, with pictures of Freddie from his tours. Tucked between the pages, I found a photo of the two of us. Freddie was behind me, with his arms wrapped around my waist, and his head on my shoulder. Freddie had a big grin on his face, and a rose in his hand. He’d touched the rose to my chin just as the picture was snapped. I remembered when that was taken. It was the night that Freddie took me to the ballet. He’d introduced me to a photographer friend, who told Freddie to “pose” with me. Also in the box, was a solid gold chain, with a gold and diamond pendant in the shape of a lily.
Over the next few years, I took some classes at the local community college, and got a job with the county of San Diego. I dated, and had a lot of fun, but I was still hoping that I would see Freddie again.
He still continued to send me post cards and letters, and little souvenirs from different places. He would still call me on my birthday, Christmas, and July the fifth.
Several days before my twenty-first birthday, Freddie called me. He was in Germany, so it was four am my time when he called.
“Darling Laguna! Happy twenty-one, almost! You’re finally legal in America! I mean, really, why do they make you wait? Now then, lovey, we need to talk. Tell me, do you still have a gift for me? Do you still think I deserve it?” Freddie was never one to make small talk, when something needed to be cleared up. He went for the truth at once.
“Good morning, Freddie! Where are you? What time is it there? Oh my, I need some coffee.” I managed to stammer, still not quite awake.
“Coffee! I mean, really…have some tea! It’s better for you. Now then, when do you plan to tell me what this secret is?”
“You mean you haven’t guessed yet?” I was sure he had. I staggered over to my coffee maker, and hit the brew switch.
“You need to tell me. I want to hear it from you. I also want to know that you’re really ready. And that you think that I am the proper person. Come on, dear, spit it out! It’s time for the big reveal. “ It sounded like Freddie has been partying. He sounded happy and totally amped up.
Well, no time like the present. It wasn’t quite how I’d wanted to tell him, but here goes.
I began to shake. I was suddenly all sweaty. “Freddie, I’ve been in love with you since I met you,” I whispered. Then I blurted out, “I want to make love with you. I want you to be my first lover.” My face went hot. I began to lose the feeling in my legs. I almost dropped the phone.
“I am absolutely sure this is what I want; this is how I feel. I want you to make love with me. I know I can’t have you forever, but I want you for one night. I want to love you while I can. I want to show you how much love I have for you. I want to give you my virginity. Besides my love and friendship, that is the only gift I have to give you.” My hand was trembling, so sweaty that I almost dropped the phone again. I tried to pour myself a cup of coffee, and slopped it all over the counter.
“Dearest, darling Lilly, I’ll be honored to accept your gift. As long as you know the reality of life. You’re right, we can’t have a long lasting love affair. And, once you give me your virginity, you can’t get it back. Ever. But, it’s something that I will cherish for the rest of my life.” Freddie’s voice had lowered, and became rather husky. I could hear the emotion in his words. “And, I’ll give you two nights.”
I began to smile so wide that I thought the phone might fall into my mouth. I drew in a shaky breath. My head felt like light. I was very dizzy. I took a sip of coffee, and tried not to cry.
“Lilly, are you there?” Freddie sounded concerned, like maybe I’d fainted or something.
“I’m here, Freddie. I am here. I can’t tell you…”
“Lovey, stop. I don’t need to hear any platitudes or gratitudes. You show me when we meet. I will make some arrangements, and then let you know when and where. How does that sound?” Freddie was Freddie again. “Now then, expect a delivery from me this afternoon. Tell your boss you’re taking the next three days off. Follow the instructions I’ve sent to you, and be prepared to have the time of your life!”
“That sounds fantastic, Freddie!”
“I must go, Darling. I have some things to do! Ta!” Freddie rang off.
Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I told him. I told Freddie I wanted to make love with him! I told him I want him to be my first lover! And he said yes!
I received a large manila envelope at work that day, sent by special messenger. Inside, I found a big card with a photo of New York City at sunset glued to it. I opened it up, and a plane ticket fell out. I read what was printed inside.
You are cordially invited to a party! Your own birthday party! Meet me at The Plaza Hotel in New York City. Talk to the concierge upon arrival.
Underneath was a date and a time.
This was really going to happen! Oh, my gosh, he chose New York City! I’d told him once I’d always wanted to go there. He remembered!
Immediately, I requested the time off, and began to make my plans. I was to arrive at The Plaza on Thursday, and check out Monday morning. I was to meet Freddie in the lobby Friday afternoon, my birthday.
Freddie had sent me first class tickets, and when I arrived at JFK, a man in a chauffeur’s uniform as waiting for me, holding a sign which read “Lilly Laguna, California Mountain Flower.” I started laughing. He led me to a black stretch limousine, while his assistant retrieved my luggage.
There was a bottle of champagne in the limo, with a note that read, “You can have more than one glass now. FM.” There were also roses and carnations in bouquets laying on the seat. Plus, a half dozen chocolate covered strawberries.
Due to the hour of the day, it took over an hour to get from JFK to the hotel. I didn’t mind. I was enjoying looking at everything I could see, sipping my bubbly, and nibbling my berries.
When I was finally dropped off at The Plaza, a doorman took my hand and helped me out. The driver spoke to a porter, who then grabbed my luggage and disappeared with it. I was shocked by the attention I was getting.
The doorman let me to the Concierge, tipped his hat, and left. I discovered later that Freddie had arranged with the hotel that they would be on the lookout for me, and he left money to be given as very generous tips, after I was looked after. They all were ready to kiss the hem of my skirt, it seemed.
The concierge himself clicked his heels, bowed, and shook my hand. He began a monologue that started with “We’re so happy to have you here,” and ended with “We’re so happy to have you here.” He gave me an itinerary for Thursday evening and Friday morning. It included shopping, dinner in the Oak Room of the Plaza, and a morning of pampering at the very exclusive spa. I was to purchase a party dress, shoes, and have my make up and hair done.
Late on Friday afternoon, I was waiting in the lobby of the Plaza. I felt rather conspicuous, dressed in a red evening gown. At four pm on the dot, Freddie breezed in, as though he owned the place. Holding a single red rose, he kneeled at my feet, and presented me with the rose. “Happy birthday, Darling,” he smiled at me, extending his hand. I took it, and he led me outside.
We piled into a limousine, and drove away. We stopped at a little bistro on the West side, for “coffee,” Freddie said. Now I knew we were not stopping for coffee, since he never drank it. I wondered what was up.
Freddie opened the door for me, and as I walked in, I saw at least twenty people jump up and call “Surprise!” I was totally taken aback. Freddie wrapped his arms around me from behind, and said, “Happy birthday, darling Lilly Flower! It is officially your twenty-first birthday!”
I was amazed at the amount of work and detail Freddie had arranged. There were decorations in bright vivid colors, photos of me on the walls, big balloons with flowers in them. A big cake was on the side table, and next to it was another table with a ton of lovely gifts piled on it. On the other side, there must have been two dozen little glasses. Each one was different, and each held different looking liquids.
“You get to drink legally now, so you’re going to try fucking everything!” Freddie sang out! “Now, let’s all PARTY!”
I recognized a lot of the people at the party from my trip to Los Angeles, and the party after the Queen concert. As each person approached me and wished me happy, they would hand me one of the small glasses from the table. Each glass held no more than a couple of ounces of drink. I was told what was in the glass, then I was instructed to drink it.
I was introduced to a Manhattan, a vodka tonic, a Margarita, Pina Colada, Sex on the Beach, an old fashioned, a vodka martini, a champagne cocktail, a Cuba Libre, and so many others that I lost track of the names.
Freddie said that we had a lot of things to do and see, so we needed to cut the cake, have a taste, and leave. I looked at him, rather shocked, because he’d gone to so much trouble to make this party! We were only staying a short time?
But Freddie had an agenda, and everyone in the room knew it. They knew Freddie well enough that they accepted what he wanted to do.
I walked over to that beautiful cake. On one corner of the cake, was a french horn in gold icing. On the opposite corner, was a spun sugar lily. Directly in the middle, was a replica of Cuyamaca peak, the big mountain seen from all over San Diego. Written on the cake was “Happy Birthday, Laguna! You finally climbed that mountain!”
Someone lit the candles, and cries of “make a wish” were called out. I made my wish again, then I blew the candles out. I say again, because I’d already made this wish many times.
I cut the first slice of cake, then a waiter came over and took over the job of cutting and plating, and several other waiters passed the cake out to the guests.
Without even remembering I’d told Freddie, he’d had my favorite cake made. It was a white cake with strawberry filling and chocolate frosting. The cake was bordered with sliced strawberries. It was to die for.
Freddie was hurrying me along, however. He kept telling me we had things to do and places to go. I pointed at the beautifully wrapped gifts. “Shouldn’t I at least open the presents first?”
“No time, Dear! They’ll be sent over to your suite. We’ll have that fun in the morning. Let’s go, Darling!” Freddie was in his partying mood, and was most eager to get with it.
I was escorted to the door, all the while I was trying to tell everyone thank you and goodbye.
I was feeling quite light headed when we left the bistro. There was more champagne in the limo, but Freddie told me to drink some water first. “So you don’t get sick, dear.”
What followed was an exciting night of drinking and clubbing. Freddie took me to several of his favorite places, happy to finally be able to introduce me to the adult nightlife. Freddie kept his arm around me, or held my hand the entire time. He was constantly kissing me on the hand or cheek, and whispering romantic phrases in my ear. At every new venue, he had another different kind of flower to present to me.
Freddie knew a lot of the patrons, and would hold court in a corner table. Freddie introduced me as his Lilly, and told everyone who approached us that we were celebrating my twenty-first. Most of the bartenders gave us free drinks, and Freddie’s friend all bought us more drinks. I just knew that I was going to end up getting all sick, but Freddie made sure that between drinks, I would have a glass of ice water. He made sure I’d nibble a snack, and he gave me some aspirin on two occasions. “I want you to have a fucking good time, but I don’t want you so pissed that you don’t enjoy everything I have planned for you.”
Some of Freddie’s friends asked me to dance, but Freddie refused them. “Fuck off. Tonight, she belongs to me. No one else is allowed to touch her.”
We had a late dinner at a restaurant in Times Square, and the wait staff brought me a bowl of ice cream and sang Happy Birthday to me.
We arrived back at the Plaza about three am, and went up to my suite. My head was spinning by that time. Freddie followed me in and closed the door.
There were candles burning everywhere. The room was lit only by their warm glow. Romantic music was softly wafting from the speakers.
“Happy birthday, my Lilly,” Freddie whispered. “Dance with me, Darling.” He slipped his arms around me, pulled me close, and he began to dance. My arms found their way up to Freddie’s shoulders, and I fell into step with him. Freddie was a wonderful dancer and he was so romantic.
I began to feel warm all over, and knew I’d never be this happy again.
After about ten minutes, my hand in his, he brought it up to his lips, and kissed it, gazing into my eyes again. With his other hand, he touched my face, my neck, my bare shoulder. Still holding my hand in his, he put his arm behind my back, and ever so gently, kissed me. He drew back, and looked into my eyes.
“You’re so lovely,” he said, stroking my cheek with his other hand. Freddie leaned in and kissed me again, deeper, more passionate. His tongue found mine, his hand dropped my hand, and he wrapped his arms around me even tighter.
Still kissing, we moved over to the couch. As we sank into the soft cushions, Freddie moved his hands to my neck, my arms, touching me with a gentleness that made me shiver.
Somehow, we found ourselves laying down. I was sort of on top of Freddie. I looked down at him. “You’re beautiful, my dearest Freddie,” I whispered.
Freddie smiled at me. “That’s the first time you’ve ever called me Dearest. I like it.” He started kissing me again.
Bolder than I ever thought I would be, I slipped my hand under his shirt, and began to stroke the soft hair on his chest. My hand moved down to his soft belly, then under his arms, where I petted the downy soft hair. I was fascinated by Freddie’s underarms. I loved the black hair, how it always looked so neat and soft. I found myself loving all the black fur on Freddie’s body. I could not stop stroking it.
I pulled away, and began to kiss Freddie’s neck. I could smell his cologne, and it smelled so wonderful. I kissed down his neck, and began to kiss his chest, still petting his underarms and his tummy. I was twirling my finger around his belly button, kissing his man nipples. I moved back to his neck, then his mouth found mine again.
“Oh, my darling, my Lilly Flower,” Freddie whispered in my ear, before kissing it. He continued to kiss my ear, then moved to my neck.
Suddenly, Freddie stood up and said, “Come with me.” He held his hand out to me. My hand in his, he led me into the bedroom. Freddie walked to the closet and brought out a silk peignoir for me. It was yellow, Freddie’s favorite color. He had a matching men’s robe as well.
Freddie led me into the bath, and I discovered that housekeeping had come in and filled the enormous bathtub with scented water, bubbles and rose petals. More candles were lit, and the lights were low. He laid he silk peignoir out for me, with his own robe next to it. “Get in,” then left the room.
I undressed, and slipped into the bath, very shyly. Freddie came in. He was already naked. I had seen photos of naked men before, but none of them were as beautiful as Freddie. His black hair extended from the top of his chest all the way down to his amazing cock. Of course, I’d seen photos of Freddie in his white satin pants, where you could see the veins in his cock right though the pants. The real thing was so much more amazing.
Freddie slipped into the warm water, and grinned at me. “I just love bubble baths! Don’t you? I mean, really…what could be more fun?” He flicked some bubbles at me, and began to bounce up and down in the water. I began to laugh. He was so much fun!
“Come here,” he beckoned me. I slid over to him, and he turned me around, so my back was against his chest. I was between his long legs. I could feel his cock pressed hard against me, and I felt my heart flip over.
Freddie began to stroke my arms, and my back. He moved my hair, and kissed the back of my neck. He continued to stroke my wet skin, moving from back to front. I began to run my hands up and down his legs. The feel of his wet, naked skin against my own was driving me insane. I could feel the soft hair of his legs and thighs. The muscles under my fingers were so firm, the skin so smooth and soft.
Freddie continued to kiss my neck, nuzzling my ear with his nose, then he began to nibble my ear lobe. He gently traced the outside of my ear with his tongue. I gripped his thighs with both hands. I felt dizzy, warm, amazing. He continued to stroke my body, gently, with small circular movements. He traced my body with his fingertips, ever so slowly. I shivered, even though I was in the warm water, pressed up against his warm body.
“Freddie, will you sing to me, please?” I whispered.
Freddie began to sing love songs to me, softly. He sang “love of my life,” “I want to romance with you,” “love me slow and gently,” and other phrases from his, and Queen’s love songs. I was in heaven. To listen to his amazing voice in my ear, and to feel him next to me, I knew it couldn’t get any better than this. But there was more to come. (pardon the pun.)
We emerged from the bath, and dried each other off with big soft towels, then we slipped into our silk robes. The luxurious silk felt so good on my body, but not nearly as good as Freddie’s skin.
Freddie said to me, “I want you to do what ever you want to do to me. Anything you’ve ever thought about, dreamed about, wanted to do. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be shy. And don’t be shy about telling me what you want me to do for you. I will do anything you want, and I’ll be ready for anything you give to me.” Oh, I really needed to hear that. Even though I was so eager to do all the things to Freddie that I’d been dreaming about, I was nervous and afraid. I had read a lot of books that had a lot of sex in them. I watched movies with people having sex. I paid attention as much as I could. I stumbled upon an x-rated book at my cousin’s house, and read it. It embarrassed the hell out of me, but I learned a lot. I even practiced; on bananas.
We walked into the big bedroom, faced each other, and Freddie kissed me. He slid his arms around me, pulling me close to him. He hugged me, and stroked my back.
I took Freddie’s hand in mine, and led him to the bed. I sat down on the edge of the bed, and Freddie stood before me. I opened his robe, looked up into his face, then wrapped my arms around his waist, and buried my face in the soft fur of his belly. This is what I’d wanted to do the most. Feel his hair against my face, inhale the aroma of his skin. He smelled so sexy. I was getting aroused just feeling his silky tummy hair and the softness of his skin. I could smell his maleness. It made me bolder, knowing he was wanting me, as well.
I stroked his back, his butt, his thighs, all whole time breathing in his scent. I began to kiss his tummy, then his belly button. The smell of his skin was turning me on so much. I began to grip his thighs, and I started to kiss lower and lower. I slid my hands up, until I was touching his cock. Oh, it felt so nice! The skin was soft, but under the skin it was hard and hot. I cupped his balls: they were larger than I thought they would be, each one could fill the palm of my hand. They were covered with lots of black hair. Even more than his armpits. I used my other hand to stroke his cock, then I brought it to my lips, and kissed it. Freddie moaned, and ran his fingers through my damp hair. I continued to kiss him, from the head to the base, still cupping his balls.
I grasped his hardness, and smiled up at him.
Freddie dropped to his knees, and leaned over and kissed me again. He held the sides of my face, and kissed me harder, sliding his tongue into my mouth, finding my tongue, exploring my mouth, then teasing my tongue with little nips and bites. I was kissing him passionately, letting my lips graze his lips, his teeth, and wrapping my own tongue around his. I was running my hands all over his body, up and down his back.
Freddie reached inside my robe, then let it slide from my shoulders. He kissed my shoulders, then brushed the straps away, and my nightgown slipped down around my waist. Freddie looked at me, then kissed my breast, while he stroked the other one with his fingers. I wriggled up further on the bed, and as I did, my silk nightgown slid all the way off. Again, I was naked in Freddie’s arms. He was still wearing his robe, open to the front. He hovered over me, gently parting my legs with his. He took my arms and put them above my head, then began to stroke my body again.
Freddie's fingers were playing over my body like he was playing his piano. Light and fast, slow and lingering, he moved lower and lower, until he was touching my hot, wet center. His fingers were like music, moving piano to forte, crescendo, decrescendo. I was in ecstasy. Freddie moved down, until he was able to kiss me, and lick me while I writhed and moaned.
“Tell me when you are ready to climax,” Freddie said. “I want to look into your eyes while you come.” He buried his tongue in the center of my femaleness, then moved it up, until he found my clit. He opened up my lower lips, then began to lick and suck on it. He would take it in his mouth, gently suck on it, pulling it out, then letting it go. He kept doing this until I was screaming with delight.
“Freddie, now, now…” I cried. And suddenly, he stopped. He brought himself back up to my face, and looked down into my eyes.
“Darling, now I am going to make love to you,” he whispered. “I’m going to love you slowly and gently.” He reached down, and began to slide the head of his cock against my wetness. Up and down, up and down. My legs parted even more, and I wanted him inside me. NOW!
“Please, Freddie, I want you so much. Now, Freddie, please!” I pleaded.
“Look into my eyes,” Freddie said, his eyes glowing and burning into my own. “I need to see you when I enter your body, we become one person.” Then he grasped my hips, and slid his rock hard cock into me. “Oh!” I gasped, because it hurt a little, but I didn’t care. I was looking into Freddie's eyes, and I felt like he’d placed a magic spell upon me. I could feel his soul penetrate my own, as his body penetrated my body. I began to move my hips with Freddie's, then wrapped my legs around his waist. Freddie was still holding my hips, moving in and out. Then he balanced himself on his toes and hands above me. He began to move faster and faster. We were both panting and moaning, then Freddie slipped his arms around my shoulders, and buried his face in my hair, while making slow circles with his hips, filling me even more with his amazing cock. Time stood still. I was lost in our ecstasy.
His back suddenly arched, and he cried out. He held me tightly and buried his face in my hair, as he pumped his love into me.
We lay locked together for a while, panting. I still had my arms and legs wrapped around him. I didn’t ever want to move. I could live the rest of my life, with Freddie inside me.
Suddenly, Freddie looked into my eyes. “My darling, how do you feel?”
I looked deep into his eyes. He had the most intense, hypnotic eyes. I felt like I could see right through him. I felt like I was looking into his heart, into his spirit. “I feel…alive. I feel ecstatic. I feel like I have touched your soul, and you touched mine. Like our hearts merged together,” It was hard to speak, but I was able to get the words out. My voice didn’t even sound like mine. My voice was shaking, my whole body was shaking. “I feel incredible. I feel joy. And I feel you, my dearest.”
Freddie smiled at me. I smiled back, and tears escaped my eyes. “Lovey, are you crying?”
“I think so. I feel so amazing. It was better than I ever thought. Oh, Freddie, I feel divine. Like I’m in a dream.”
“You didn’t climax, did you?” he asked.
“Well, no, I almost did, while you were…down there.”
Freddie laughed loudly. “You can call it what it is. While I was going down on you. Sorry, I knew you were close, but I needed to make love to you.” He kissed me. “I’ll be sure to make you come next time.” He said. I smiled again, thinking about next time.
“Thank you, my dearest Freddie,” I whispered to him, my lips against his chest. “I can’t tell you how wonderful you are.”
“You don’t need to thank me. Actually, I should be thanking you. You gave me the most precious gift you can give. And Lilly, I do love you. I’ll always love you.” Freddie whispered back.
“Freddie, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’ll love you forever,” I was smiling again, wondering if I was dreaming.
“Darling, loving someone and being in love are two different things. Right now, I am totally in love with you. But those feelings don’t always last. When I say ‘I love you,’ I mean that I will love you forever too. Let’s not worry about all of that now. Right now, we’re in love with each other, and that’s all that matters.”
“Freddie, I know we have just a little time together; just one more day, actually, one more night. I want to forget about tomorrow. Love me now, like there is no tomorrow, and I’ll love you. All I care about is now,” I said.
“Yes, I will love you like there’s no tomorrow. But, really,” Freddie grinned, giving me a flamboyant gesture, “Let’s order something from room service. I need some tea, and you need some protein. You need to keep your energy up. I plan to love you until you can’t take anymore.”
My insides flipped over again, thinking about making love again with Freddie.
We ordered some food and drinks, and played a game of Scrabble, which Freddie won, of course.
After this respite, Freddie opened up his suitcase, and pulled out a little snakeskin bag that looked like a large shaving kit. He turned and looked at me, and got a wicked grin on his face.
“Darling, Laguna, now that we’ve achieved losing your virginity, it's time to get creative, and have a lot of fun. I am not one to brag, but I will totally ruin you for any other man…ever,” Freddie had a burning gleam in his eye, and I was totally intrigued.
He opened up the snakeskin bag, and in it were a variety of things. Little bottles, jars, and some cylindrical objects wrapped in cloths. Now I was more than intrigued. I was mystified.
Freddie flashed me his wicked grin again, and took out a jar of a jelly looking substance, which was pink. He opened the lid, and held it to my nose. It smelled like strawberries. “This one is my favorite.”
“Favorite what?” I asked.
“You’ll find out,” he giggled.
He took out one of the cylindrical objects, and unwrapped it. It looked like a big hot dog, only it was white. Freddie pushed a little switch, and it began to hum. He held it against my cheek. It was vibrating! Oh, my gosh, a vibrator! I’d heard of them, but never seen one.
“Come with me,” Freddie took me by the hand, carrying his snakeskin bag. “I’m going to introduce you to some different aspects of sex. It isn’t all just fucking. There is so much more. I’m not talking about really dirty sex. Just some things I think you might enjoy. I’d never do anything that would hurt you, or make you uncomfortable. I just want to enjoy showing you a few things I know.”
This is so much more than I ever dreamed it would be. Freddie actually made love with me, and now he is going to show me what else there is to enjoy during sex! Oh, I began to feel dizzy again, and my legs began to shake. I felt my face get hot. (I hate how I begin to blush and shake when I get excited.)
Freddie removed my robe, and guided me down on the bed. He opened the jar of the pink strawberry stuff again, and dipped his finger into it. He put a dab on my lips, then on my nipples, then he parted my legs, and put some on my wet heat. While he used his finger to put more up inside me, he first kissed my lips, his tongue picking up the flavor of the gel, and brought it to my tongue. He concentrated on his kisses, while also not losing a beat with his fingers. His teeth nipped at my lips, my tongue, then he slid down and began to kiss and nip my neck, and then he began to lick the gel off my nipples. Moving down my body, he kissed and nibbled his way down to my hot center. Pushing my thighs apart again, he buried his face between my legs. He seemed determined to get every drop of the strawberry stuff. His ardent attention brought me quickly to the climax he’d almost gave me earlier.
I was moaning and gasping, it was such ecstasy. I kept moving around, and Freddie had to hang onto my hips, so he could finish what he’d started this time.
He paused long enough to say, “Look into my eyes, love, now!”
I somehow was able to lift my head and look into Freddie’s eyes. He continued to lick and suck on me, but was able to gaze back into my eyes. I felt like my own were going to pop out of my head, but looking at Freddie made the climax even more powerful. I felt like I would split apart.
I screamed. “Oh my oh my oh my, Freddie, oh yeah oh yeah,” or something along those line. I truly felt like the top of my head had blown off, spun around in the air, then plopped back down.
While I was still squirming and gasping, Freddie suddenly flipped me over, grabbed my hips, and entered me from behind. He wasn’t as gentle as he was the first time he made love to me. This time, he thrust himself in as far as he could, as fast as he could. It was another amazing experience. I turned my head, so I could watch Freddie’s face. He was all sweaty, and his eyes were closed. His hair was all disheveled, and he was saying, “oh yeah,” over and over again. He looked so sexy.
“Tell me to fuck you,” he gasped. “Tell me to keep fucking you.”
I felt a little strange saying that, because I wanted it to be more about love and romance. But as I said that to Freddie, it got me even more aroused. It seemed to have at the same effect on Freddie. He plunged into my depths harder and faster than before. He pushed my legs as far apart as they would go, and it felt almost like his balls were entering me along with his cock. I relaxed a little bit, wanting to have all of him inside me. I pushed my hips farther toward him, and indeed, he was giving me every bit of himself.
“Give me more, Freddie darling, give me more, fuck me more, don’t stop. I want all of you, give me everything you have. I want all of your cock in me!” I gasped, and Freddie obliged.
Fast and frantic, he finally shot his load into me in an explosion that cause him to again cry out. I have no idea if he’d actually said anything, it was just a loud cry of ecstasy.
Freddie wrapped his arms around my waist, and fell to the bed, pulling me down with him, still inside me from behind.
“Oh, darling, really…that was fantastic. I loved it when you told me to keep fucking you. It really turned me on. You should do that all the time. Tell me what you want. Tell me everything you want,” Freddie gasped out, as he panted for breath.
I began to laugh, because I felt so giddy, full of joy and sex and love. Freddie laughed with me, and kissed the back of my neck. “Oh, love, that was wonderful. But we’re not done yet. Remember, there’s no tomorrow. We have a lot of loving yet to do.”
*to be continued*