Desires on Hold
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Desires On Hold Part 6 free porn video
Desires on Hold Part 6
One thing that I have to look forward to is going clothes shopping at
the end of this year. I have got to buy a whole new wardrobe. It will
be absolutely brilliant.
On the 16th August my wife filed the divorce papers. I took them on her
behalf. I was amazed at how simple it all was. The clerk checked
through the papers, including the grounds for divorce, which detailed
my transgenderism. She did not bat an eyelid and in three months and
one day we will be divorced.
On the 24th August I had my consultation with the therapist, Dr Russell
Reid and what a wonderful person he is. He is so approachable and
immediately puts you at ease. He said that he knows my GP well and
sends his regards.
He got me to talk about my whole life from childhood, through growing
up, up to the present time. He kept jumping back to earlier times; I
suppose to ensure that I was being consistent. The whole consultation
lasted over an hour and a half.
He confirmed that he had no doubts that I am gender dysphoric and that
with my attitude and obvious comfort with myself, thinks that I will
make a satisfactory transition. My interpretation, cannot remember
exactly what he said.
We discussed my current hormone regime and my planned changes and said
that he could find no problems with it except to halve the finasteride
to 2.5mg per day.
He wrote out a private prescription for 4 months supply of;
Oestradiol 2mg 80 tablets
Duphaston 10mg 40 tablets
Cyproterone acetate 50mg 120 tablets
Finasteride 5mg 0 tablets.
He has told me not to get it filled yet as he is going to write to my
GP asking him to give me a NHS prescription. This will then save me
about ?360.00.
I said that I was surprised that he could prescribe straight away and
he said that he is allowed to providing that I satisfy one of three
conditions:
1. I have been on hormones for at least 3 months
2. I have experienced RLE for at least 3 months or
3. Been having therapy for at least 3 months.
He has said the he will continue to monitor me every three months. My
next appointment will be 8th November.
I now have an appointment to see my GP next Wednesday. By that time he
will have received his letter from Russell Reid.
I feel extremely positive about myself and really look forward to the
future. I have never been happier.
My appointment was postponed until Monday 6th September as the letter
had got delayed in the Bank Holiday post.
I received my copy on the Thursday. I was surprised at how much
information he had got out of me. His impression was that I am Gender
Dysphoric, Is personable, stable and give a good account of myself. I
am not depressed or mentally ill. The effects of the feminising
hormones have been beneficial.
He thanked my GP for prescribing on a shared care basis.
I attended my consultation with my GP. He read his letter and said that
he is in full agreement with Dr Russell Reid?s conclusions. He is more
than happy to monitor my health and progress on a shared care basis. I
said that Dr Reid sends his regards. He said ?yes I know him well,
professionally.?
He wrote out an NHS prescription for all my tablets and said when Dr
Reid feels that I am ready for surgery; he will make application to the
NHS.
I feel extremely lucky to have such a caring medical team looking after
me and know that at least my health will be closely monitored as well
as my feminine development.
The Thursday evening following my appointment with my GP, I had my
family around and gave them an accurate update. They all read Dr Reid's
letter. I think that they were half hoping that I had made a mistake,
but they now fully accept the situation. They have all also told their
partners and are supportive of me.
In fact so much so my wife now has someone to speak to and knows she
will get a sympathetic ear. My youngest daughter?s husband. This is
what my wife has been needing.
I have recently been told of a theory as to a possible cause of
transsexualism.
Modern medicine in the US, as well as Europe and some other places on
Earth, were developing ?cures? to many of the plagues afflicting
mankind. In some research center, possibly not unlike the one I served
while working for Mount Sinai, a scientist first made a drug that was
thought to prevent women from miscarriage during their pregnancies. The
drug was called diethylstilbesterol, Stilbesterol, or simply DES.
Although the drug was never tested adequately as it should, given the
technology we have today, it nevertheless wasn?t even examined to the
standards of the day, was rushed into production and marketed
throughout the world! It was prescribed to millions of women from to
late 30?s on; until very recently well into the 70?s and in dosages
well beyond anything rational.
This drug has been found to cause cancer in both the mothers as well as
the daughters, of DES women, mutation in the daughters and much less
openly all manner of problems for the sons of these women. Receiving
most all of the notoriety are the ?daughters? of DES women, which
received the bulk of the research funding, since the daughters
developed a vicious form of uterine cancer. The ?son?s? of DES mothers
also suffered and in different ways than their female peers, often in
ways not outwardly apparent, and all too often if they were, it was
simply treated as a societal stereotype further compounding the lack of
understanding, as well as the pain.
DES is not the only drug, even the only chemical responsible for
creating horrors such as this. Another well known offending member
belongs to of a family of chemicals, similar and are differing ?groups?
of organic compounds, all having similar properties for their intended
uses. In many cases their applications were as pesticides, herbicides
and other various yet widespread uses. Its name is DDT, ?a wonder
chemical?. There is no place on earth, from the highest mountaintop, to
the deepest places in the oceans, where DDT cannot be found today.
In all the above cases these chemicals are dangerous to the individual
as well as the offspring and too many other species of life on earth.
In the case of DDT, it was most widely known to make the shell of
eagle?s eggs so thin, the chicks couldn?t complete their gestational
period prior to birth; the offspring died or were malformed.
There are developmental stages in both male and female, inside the
mother that among other things determine gender.
Sex and gender as you know are very different qualities. Sex is mostly
related to things we can see, external signs of maleness, or
femaleness. Gender while perhaps more compelling to the individual, is
nevertheless something that often cannot be outwardly seen.
During the early development of the fetus all children begin as female.
At a predetermined time, hormones produced by the mother in this case
testosterone become awash in the fetus, the so-called testosterone
bath, which changes female to male. Sex is determined by XY sex
chromosomes in the male, XX in a little girl. Without this ?bath? it is
possible to have a normal XY male fetus that nevertheless develops to
become normal looking and yet is born with a female gender, or sense of
self. I believe myself to be one of these children.
The name society gives this developmental difficulty all of which carry
terrible societal stigma is known as transsexuality. It occurs in both
biological males as well as females. In all fairness to other similar
yet different problems of biological as well as gender related
developmental difficulties are Transgendered, the Intersexed and some
other less well-known groups. This is not to be confused in any way
with homosexuality, or same sex attraction! To explain simply, I was
born with a male body yet a female core identity.
There is no known way to alter the mind to fit the body indeed this has
been attempted throughout history with zero success. There is no cure
for those affected! It can only be addressed by the inverse, or
changing the body to fit the mind. Those like myself often commit
suicide if prevented to do so. In my case I only regret doing so this
late in life and yet there?s no other way for me. There is nothing
sexual nor sensual in any of this.
The information on stilbesterol and DDT could answer a lot of
questions. I do not know whether my mother took it during her pregnancy
when she was carrying me. There is a strong possibility, as I was born
in 1942 at the height of the war, a very stressful time for a pregnant
mother. My older brother was born just before the war started and the
younger just after. My mother died about 17 years ago of cancer of the
pancreas and stomach.
My father was a great believer in DDT and often used it to treat the
house for cat fleas, etc. So it is possible that I was subjected to
both. Also in my career I have used Dieldrin, Lindane, Tributyl tin
oxide, copper arsenic, pentachloral phenal, carbon tetra chloride and
other such noxious substances. However, as always using these as
management I would always use the proper PPE, even though it is not
likely to give 100% protection. I only used small quantities as I would
have been training Technicians. Most of the above are carcinogenic and
also accumulate in the body fats. That is why they have been banned in
the UK. Next to go will probably be Bendiocarb.
I do not know if this really caused my transsexuality and I must admit
it does not bother me. I regret all the wasted and unhappy years. I
would not want to stop or be cured, even if it were possible. I am too
happy and contented. My feminine character has almost totally submerged
my male side, not that there was ever much to submerge.
I started my electrolysis, last Tuesday 14th September. 2 hours under
the needle. It was no where as painful or unpleasant as I expected. I
go for my second time tomorrow Wednesday 22nd September. Two hours
again. If that goes as easily as last week, I will talk to Erica about
going for three or even four hours, next.
My hair is now getting quite long and has a mind of its own. It is
covering most of my neck and my ears. I am hoping to see my hairdresser
Saturday, to tidy it up. She is also a transsexual and specialises in
transsexals and our special needs. She will gradually colour my hair
and change the style over the next three month so that I start my RLE
with a feminine hair style.
We have arranged a family meal for the evening of 27th November in a
private suite in a local hotel. It includes all my eight grandchildren.
My elder daughter said to the wife this is like a goodbye meal for Dad,
before he comes out as Michelle. She isn?t far wrong because I will be
a woman as from the start of January. We will be at their house for
Christmas day as Mum and Dad.
The Gender Recognition Bill is now Law and transsexuals are being asked
to register as to whether they plan to take advantage. I have
registered my interest.
My story will continue for several more episodes and will not be
complete until I have had my SRS and am living an independent and happy
life as a woman. I would have then achieved my life long desire.
Writing my story has helped me immensely and has made me think out my
actions and keeps everything in perspective. I have shed many tears
whilst writing it. It brings back all the original sadness and also the
hurt and grief that my actions must cause my family. But I know that
they understand that if there had been any alternative, that I would
have taken it.
If any one would like to communicate with me about my story, either
this episode or the previous four, offer comments, advice or even
criticism I would welcome your calls. I will answer every e-mail and
would be more than happy to enter into regular communication.
To be continued.
Michelle Jane
Valentina
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