Yin And Yang; Walking In Your Shoes - Part 6 free porn video

Okay first off I lied there will be a part 7!! |_| After I put down all the idea I had for Part 6 expecting it to be the end it well, it was kind of boring! Not enough dialog, it just kind of laid there, like a big uninteresting lump! And after going back and adding dialog to the various ideas well it got to be 15 pages which is about average for what the other parts were. But the good thing is after a bit of pause between the other parts I seem to have gotten my creative energies flowing again so for part 7 I just really need to add a bit of lead in as the ending of the story is already completed which I actually wrote at the same time as the beginning of part 1. Although not part of the original idea I am going to add a conclusion even though I have been debating off and on about doing so and not just ending the story with the birth of the baby. The reason for this is that the conclusion will talk about the aftermath of what happens and the affect of it on Craig and what it means to him. In which I will be adding a lot of ideas that I have about what it is to be female or male and how they relate ,which I'm thinking might not be every ones cup of tea and I don't want anyone to think I'm preaching to them. I don't know if you want drop me a line and tell me what you think. Well anyhow, here it is part 6! I hope you enjoy!!! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Yin and Yang; Walking in your Shoes - Part 6 by Kris K ([email protected]) Things settled down for Lisa and Andrew after that, Lisa for a week afterwards spent all of her time with Andrew and for Andrew's part although he still looked uncomfortable in public with Lisa talking to her so causally despite being in my body Andrew seemed to be alright with it. In Private they would to talk to one another like any married coupe with Lisa frequently touching Andrew on the shoulder, arm or the hand with no apparent nervousness or apprehension on Andrews's part. I guess people can grow up. I chuckled when I talked to Lisa about it, saying that I think Andrew has had as much of an experience as Lisa had. I had become so use to being female by now I didn't even think about the routine of makeup, hygiene and the clothing. Alright men staring at me still freaked me out, being a small guy and bullied all the time in school because of it I was use to feeling vulnerable but still as a women it was a whole new level. Guys, god I mean I wasn't Pamela Anderson, I was average at best but still, it seems as long as a woman is moving I guess that's enough at least for some guys. Speaking of which the I had actually manage to suffer through the first parts of the pregnancy pretty well, slight morning sickness, some mood swings and swollen breasts were about the worst, I guess I was lucky. I did get food craving that hit me pretty hard, they actually aren't that far out the normal for me except for one week which will forever go down in the history of my family as the week of the pickles! Because things had settled down and was going right for Lisa and Andrew they would accompany me and mom to every doctor's visit and Lisa was constantly asking me about how I felt and what was happing to my body or should I say her body trying to be as much a part of the process as she could given the circumstances. I had my second ultrasound to check on the health of the baby and of course find out the sex. Turns out we were going to be blesses with a little girl, I had a feeling that was going to be the case. They were all overjoyed including me, at least at first, but I started to get a feeling of just being off and it just seemed to be getting stronger and stronger. As the weeks passed and the pregnancy progressed I found myself becoming more and more anxious, perhaps anxious is not the right word, I'm not sure how to describe it. I though perhaps it was because of the pregnancy I mean I was having so much fun in my new role as a female I figured that I just hadn't started to notice all the things changing till now. I at first convinced myself that was it, but as more time passed the feeling just got worse and worse. Honestly I couldn't tell if it was something physical or not. I had no idea of what to expect from a woman body, right from the get go. In the beginning I noticed that I was way more emotional as I was now at the mercy of female hormones so I figured being pregnant that was only going to make that worse. I found myself for starting to resent my new female body, and I especially began to resent the fact that my mother had started to talk and refer to me completely in the female tense. She would say things like "honey" "dear" or "sweetie" whereas before it was always Craig and in conversation with Lisa or Andrew she would always refer to me a "she" now. I know why she started to do that, I had fallen so naturally into a feminine persona but why had I started to resent it so much all of sudden? On top of that I started to dress as unisex as I could and would walk around with no makeup on or nail polish. Lisa and mom were quite taken aback when I came back from a visit to the salon with a short boyish hair cut. Okay Lisa kind of freaked on me a bit. I told her that I had enough to worry about without the hassle of trying to take care of my hair every morning and besides, it would grow back. Curiosity finally got the better of me one afternoon. I had heard and read about the process of labor and birth but I had not started any birthing classes yet. I knew I shouldn't have done it, I had been trying to not think about it since the very beginning but as they say curiosity killed the cat. It was in the afternoon and I was alone at home, I went up to my bed and powered up my lap top, it didn't take very long to find an actual video of a birth. As I watched the video I started to feel sick. Seeing baby crown and then go back in and crown again was all I could stand! I ran to the bathroom and threw up in the tub, even after there was nothing left to come up I continued to retch and gag. After I finally stopped I washed my face and rinsed out my mouth and staggered back into my room, I crawled into bed and wrapped the blanket around me with my knees pulled as close to my stomach as I could. Oh god, I can't do this I though, I was terrified by what I saw. "I can't do this, I can't do this!" I repeated over and over while sobbing. I don't know how long I was like that when Mom came up and knocked on the door, finding it locked and hearing my sobbing. "Craig, are you okay?" Paused, then knocked again. "Craig, honey are you alright?" Between sobs I told her to go away. "Craig, come on Craig open the door, please," Mom asked knocking again. "I, I, I can't do this. Please just go away, please everything just go away!" I sobbed. "Craig!" she exclaimed in a worried voice trying to open the door. "What wrong, Craig, please let me in honey. Come on please!" I didn't move, I couldn't move, I just sat there wrapped in my blanket rocking slightly, just sobbing. I was so scared, no I was beyond scared I was terrified. I couldn't think; I couldn't move all I could do was cry. My mind had totally shutdown. I wanted out! "Please Mom, make it stop, I can't, I can't do it. I can't do this anymore. Please." Mom was frantic now pounding on the door shaking the handle. After how long I have no idea she stopped I hear her walk away and in the distance her exclaim something. "Craig, hang on honey, I'm going to get help!" she said. As she ran off I distinctly heard say, "Shit," and the water in the tub start to run. There is stayed, unmoving, uncaring about anything that happened around me. BANG! BANG! BANG! "Craig!" I heard a gruff voice. "Craig!! Open up, it's Andrew! Craig are you okay. Come on open up!" I heard in the darkness. Where am I? I though. Everything was dark, I. I can't feel anything. Tears I feel tears, I started to sob again. Then there was a crashing sound and a bright light, which shook me out of my daze. Blinding light, I looked up and saw something, no wait someone. Someone reached out and grabbed my hand, the blanket dropped away. "Are you alright?" It was Andrew he was standing over me. "Andrew!?" I asked in confusion and shaking in fear. "Is she okay?" Mom asked as she entered the room. She? Who's she? I thought for a second. Then it all came back to me and with it all the pain and fear! "NO!" I cried. "No! Leave me alone, don't touch me!" I yelled as I grabbed the wrist of Andrew's hand that was holding mine. "Craig, claim down, come on, it's us!" Andrew said. "No!" I said as I tried to pull my hand free from his. Being unable to I stood up and tried to push him back. "Craig, stop that, take it easy!" Andrew kept repeating. "No! Stop, please let me go, leave me alone! I can't do it! I can't do this anymore!" I screamed as I started to pound on his chest. I might as well of been hitting a brick wall. Unfazed by my attack, my screaming, my tears he just pulled me close to him and wrapped his big arms around me and just held me tight against him. I stopped struggling and started to cry. My face buried in his chest "I. I. I can't do this, please" I looked up at him, pleading, crying, "Make it stop! Please! Make it stop!" He just held me and I cried till I was too exhausted to continue. Limp and exhausted he picked me up and laid me back in bed. Then mom was there, holding my hand, touching my face. "Mom," was the last thing I remember saying softly before everything went dark. It was morning when I awoke. I looked around; I was in bed with a blanket around me. I heard someone walking back and forth and a man's voice. Sitting up I noticed that my hair was a mess; I was still wearing the same t-shirt and sweatpants as I was yesterday. I looked over and saw the door to my room was open, the door jam was broken and there were bits of wood on the floor. I looked down at myself and it all came back to me, I looked at my hands and they started to shake. "Craig?" I heard mom call softly to me. I looked over and saw her in the doorway, smiling like she always did as she approached me. "Mom!" I cried out and reached out for her. She just embraced me in her arms sitting down on the bed next to me, her arms wrapped around me, my head against her shoulder. As I started to cry again, she just rubbed my hair saying over and over again that it was alright, she was here, and everything was okay. I looked up to see Andrew standing in the doorway. "Is he okay?" he asked. "Yes I think she's alright," Mom said still holding me. "I think she just got overwhelmed by everything that has been going on," rocking me slightly. Andrew left the room and after awhile mom and I released each other. She smiled at me and handed me a tissue which I used to dry my eyes. "Why don't you take a shower, hum?" Mom said. "Perhaps a bath? That will help you relax," she said after a moments though. I just nodded my head and mom left. I got up and by the time I straighten out the bed and took off my sweatpants I heard the sound of water running and Mom was back holding my robe. I took off the rest of my clothes put on the robe and walked to the bathroom. The bath was running and there was lavender scented bath oil already set out for me. I took off my robe and stuck a toe in the water to test the temperature. Satisfied I picked up the bath oil and poured a bit in the tub and stepped in and settled into the water. Letting out a sigh I looked up to see mom there, she told me to take my time, she was going to get some breakfast ready for me. I realized then that I was ravenously hungry. Once my batch was completed I dried myself off, put my hair in pony tail and put on a t-shirt and some stretch paints that mom must have laid out on the bed for me and went down stairs. Even though it was eleven in the morning Mom cooked up a fantastic spread of eggs and pancakes for me. I was still pigging out at eleven thirty when Lisa walked in. She came over and gave me a hug and sat down next to me. I noticed she was eye balling the last pancake. "Touch that and lose and appendage!" I smiled as I stuck a fork into it and pulled it greedily to my plate. "I guess he is feeling better," Lisa said looking over at mom. Mom came over and put her hand on my shoulder and said, "I think so she's got her appetite back at least. And then some!" she laughed. After I was finished eating, Mom cleaned up the dishes and she joined Lisa, Andrew and I in the living room. Lisa was sitting next to me with her hand on my leg. Andrew was sitting in the chair and Mom came over and sat next to me. "Are you okay?" Mom asked. I just nodded. "Okay, honey tells us what happened." I just looked over at her, then at Lisa and over to Andrew. I took a deep breath and got up and went up stairs. Coming back down with my notebook in tow, I grabbed one of the tray tables and placed it between Lisa and Mom and sat back down. I turned it on and went to the page with the video. As I brought the page up Andrew got up and sat on the arm of the couch so he could see what I was doing. I started the video and immediately got up and excused myself from the room. I could bear to see that video again and walked outside onto the patio. After a few moments mom came outside. I was sitting on one of the patio love seats and Mom came over and sat next to me and put her arm around me and gave me a playful little shake. "So now you know." I just nodded. "Oh honey, it will be alright" "You didn't watch the video?" I asked. Mom just laughed. "See it! I did it. Twice!" giving me another shake. We sat out there together for a while before we looked up and saw Lisa and Andrew come out and join us. Andrew looked a little sick. They sat down on the other love seat on the patio. Lisa looked over at Mom and started to ask a question but stopped, then started again, then stopped. "Is, is that more or less what it is like?" Lisa asked. "Pretty much," Mom said. "However the baby in the video was only seven pounds you were almost nine," Mom said gesturing to Lisa. "Oh my!" was all Lisa said. "And she was in labor according to the introduction for six hours; I was in labor for eight or so with you," Mom said. "Oh My!" Lisa said again. "Lisa, I love you but if you say "oh my"' one more time I'm going to throw this glass at you!" gesturing to the glass sitting on the table between us. "You got to be kidding me," Andrew said, saying something for the first time. "No," Mom said. "That is the way it is, actually I'd hate to say it but it can be even worse." I was just sitting there looking down at my lap. "That is why you lost it wasn't it?" Mom asked. I nodded. "I was curious, I have been trying to not think about it this whole time, after I saw the video, well I didn't watch it all the way through, when they got to the part with the baby crowning I got sick." "I noticed that you have been acting weird for a while now you should have said something honey if you were felling anxious about the pregnancy. That's why we're here." "I know mom, with everything going on with Lisa and Andrew I didn't really think about it before, it was just since the last ultrasound that well things have started to become a bit over whelming." I looked up at her nervously. Mom looked at me for a long moment, then said, "Andrew. I think if we could Craig, Lisa and I need to be alone for a bit to discuss a few things." Crisply. Andrew started to say something but my mother's look gave him no room for augment. "Ahh, yeah, I think I'll be heading back I have a few things I need to do anyhow." he got up off the love seat and turned to Lisa. "Do you need anything dear?" he asked. Lisa looked up at his then over at mom who was still holding me. "No, I think I'm okay. I think I'll have dinner here though, I get the feeling that this might take a while." "Okay," Andrew said as he started to leave. Before he could walk back into the house I stood up and walked over to him. Without a world I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head in his chest. "Thank you." I said simply, that was all I could say and all I need to. "No problem, I'm glad you're feeling better," he said as he peeled me off of him and held me at arms length looking down at me. "It will be okay, right? We all here for your well help you get through this." He smiled. "You damn frigin right you are! If you think I'm the only one that is going to suffer your crazy!" I laughed. "I want you right there next to me to share the experience." Andrew just had a sick look on his face. "Hey, if I'm going to go through all this the least you can do is be there to throw up for my amusement! Besides it's a daddy's duty! " Andrew gave me a nervous chuckle then a quick hug and left. I returned to the love seat next to mom. "Well it's good to see that your twisted sense of humor is back at least." "What do you mean humor?" I asked Mom. "I'm serious if you think I'm going to go through this alone your crazy! Misery loves company!" Mom and Lisa just laughed. "So now that Andrew is gone, honey," Mom said to me. "Why don't you tell me what is really going on? I know that you're freaked out by what you saw on the video but that isn't everything is it?" She asked. "I. I don't know what you mean?" I said trying to sound like there was nothing wrong. Lisa gave mom a quizzical look. "What's going on is something wrong?" she asked. "Nothing specific," Mom said. "It's just that she's has been acting a bit different for a while now as you probably noticed. At first I was surprised the way she took to being female, I figured she was just having fun with it and I didn't really question her about it, not that she would tell me anyhow." Mom paused and looked over at me to try and gauge my response. She could see the annoyed look cross my face but she continued on. "But then she started to acting completely different. You noticed, she gets up and just walks around in sweatpants and a t shirt all day, stopped wearing makeup, and of course got that short boyish hair cut." "Mom , please stop calling me she," I exclaimed. "I'm not a she alright! I may look like a woman but I'm not!" "Really? You could have fooled me?" Mom said with a smile. "How about that trip we took to the spa, remember? To me and anyone who saw you, you acted nothing less than my daughter?" I remembered alright, I remember her catching me drooling over the guy. I just froze, a cold feeling coming over me. I looked nervously up at Lisa, who just shook her head. "Alright Craig, I think it's time you told me what is really going on," Mom said mater of factually. "How do expect us to help you if you don't tell us?" The cold feeling of sheer terror ran though my body, I can't, I thought, I can't say it. I can't tell her. It's bad enough that I told Lisa. Not my mother. In panic I started to get up but my mother's firm hold kept me place. "No, please," I pleased with her. "I can't." "Can't what honey?" Mom asked. "I, I can't, I'm scared." "Scared of what?" Moms asked. "Come on, what could be so bad that you can't tell me?" "I'm, I'm scared that you won't love me anymore!" I cried. "What are you talking about?" and Mom looked over at Lisa who couldn't meet Mom's gaze and was trying hard at this point not to cry. "Lisa do you have any idea what Craig is talking about." Lisa just shook her head no keeping her eyes adverted. "Lisa, Lisa knows what I am talking about mom, but she won't tell you, I asked her not to." Mom looked back at me I got up and she released her grip and let me go. I walked over to Lisa and looked at her, looking for some reassurance in her face that everything would be okay, that it was alright. She looked up at me smiled, took my hand and nodded. I took a deep breath. Everything, my whole life it seemed was about to end. "Mom, do you remember when I was about twelve or so I asked you if you would still love me if I were gay?" I asked in a small voice my back still toward Mom and Lisa holding my hand. She thought about it for a moment. "Yes, if I remember correctly I talked to your farther about it and we bought you some playboys; he thought that it might snap you out of it. If I remember correctly we really weren't sure how to react." She thought about it for moment. "So you're saying that you're gay then? Well that would explain you drooling over that guy at the spa." She chuckled. "It, it goes a bit further than that Mom," I said. "What do you mean?" "I. I. I have been dressing in woman's cloths since I was about ten. I use to sneak into your things and try on your pantyhose, your slips and your dresses." There was silence again, nothing. Mom didn't say a word. I couldn't face her. I couldn't look at her. Please, I though please don't hate me; I couldn't stand it if she turned her back on me. I never felt so small in my life so alone. Lisa looked up at me, I'm sure she saw the look of totally isolation, of total fear, the look of a lost child on my face, she didn't say anything she just squeezed my hand. "I guess," Mom started to say. "I guess I should have suspected something like that. When you were a child remember I use to chastise you for stealing my necklaces and my rings. I would notice that things were out of place but honestly I never suspect that you were trying them on." She paused for another moment looking over at Lisa. "Lisa you knew about this?" "Craig told me when he was over at my house and I was showing him how to put on makeup and dress properly for a business meeting. I promised him that I wouldn't tell anyone." "That explains your enthusiasm." She said "So does that mean that you want to be a woman then?" Mom asked. "No. Yes. No, I don't know," I replied. "Look, Mom you might as well know everything." I explained to her that at first I dressed as a woman because it felt good, I didn't know why it did, it just did. Later when I reached puberty and they bought me the playboy's I started to masturbate like any normal young boy but I would fantasize about being a woman, dressing in sexy lingerie and being made love to by a man and that even today I still do. Lastly I told her that I have started to have feeling toward men, I hadn't actually been in a relationship with a man but I've found myself starting to have sexual feeling toward them. She just sat there quietly listing to everything I said and nodding occasionally. "Craig, honey," Mom said with a smile. "I understand your apprehension in telling me, but I suspected something was up since you switched bodies with Lisa. I mean you looked so happy as a woman so relaxed, I started to look at you as my daughter it just felt so natural. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit shocked but that's because I didn't realize this has been happening for so long and that this was really your true feelings," she finished by standing up holding out her arms. I stepped forward and embraced her and we hugged. "But if that is the case, why have you been acting so weird then? Like you suddenly started reject the fact your female now?" Mom asked. I just let out a sigh and looked over at Lisa. "I guess if you two know this much you should know everything. Come on let's go inside I need a cup of coffee." Lisa deiced to stay over that night and we all stayed up late just talking. My initial concerns about how Mom would reacted faded more and more as we talked and in short order I opened up to her completely telling her everything that I have been feeling even including my belief and practice of shamanism and everything that it meant to me even telling her about what happened when Lisa and I switched bodies with Lisa's permission. "So let me see if I understand this, you meditate and visualize yourself being pulled down into the earth where you come to this other world and in there you meet an animal who is your guide and shows you things? Honestly I find that a little hard to believe." Mom said after thinking about it. Lisa just chuckled. "I would have said that same thing as well mom months ago, but consider everything that happened," Lisa finished gesturing to herself and me. Mom just laughed. "I see your point." Both my parents were devout Catholics which was why I was so scared to confess my true feelings. So mom's skepticism was understandable. I started to wonder if my father was alive how he would have reacted to the revelation of my spiritual beliefs and my sexual desires. "So go over again what you saw?" Mom asked trying to understand the journey I described to her I took shortly after I swapped bodies with Lisa. "I think I have pretty much figured out the meaning behind it, it wasn't clear at first but it became obvious after I found out I was pregnant. The waxing and waning of the moon through its cycles obviously meant the passage of time. I hope at least that means that we would switch back after the birth." I said gesturing to Lisa, who nodded. "I should have counted the cycles; I mean it was so obvious wasn't it?" I laughed. "Of course hind sight is everything!" Both just laughed with me. "That last part about the moon turning blood red? What do you think that means?" Lisa asked. Mom just nodded. "That part has me a little concerned." "I know I have a bad feeling about that, but honestly I can't figure out what it could mean." "Well." Mom though. "There is blood loss during pregnancy of course, so perhaps it is just confirming what you already suspect, that the end of the moon cycles corresponds to the birth." I thought about it and the more I did the more that made sense. "What were you saying again about the moon cycles playing a part in masculinity and femininity?" Lisa asked. "I didn't quite get that part." "It has to do with the idea of Yin and Yang, the concept of masculine and feminine energies and what they represent." I said. "It is represented in Taoism, you know the circle with one part white the other black with dots." I said trying describing it. "That is probably the best know but the theme pops up in other religions and philosophies. Jung for example wrote about the anima and animus, while not related to energies it was the idea of masculine and feminine traits in a person's subconscious. " "I don't get it," Mom said. "What does that have to do with you other than the fact that you and Lisa swapped bodies?" "You see from a psychological point of view everyone has both feminine and masculine traits. The feminine traits of course are generally described like nurturing and compassion while the masculine as you could have guessed would be like aggression and competitiveness. Spiritually it is much the same the feminine energy could be summarized as a creative energy and the masculine is aggressive energy." Both Lisa and Mom nodded although I'm not sure they understood. "I'm not doing a very good job of explaining it simply." I laughed. "We could talk for days about this if we wanted to." "I still not sure how this relates to you?" Lisa said. "The problem is," I said with a sigh. "I found myself embracing my feminine side more and more and I became terrified that I would lose myself, my male self altogether as I slipped ever more easily into femininity to the point where I started to think of myself as totally female." I looked up at them. "When I realized what I was doing I tried to pull back to my masculine side. I know that sounds weird, it was my dream after all to experience what it would be like to be woman, at least that is what I thought I wanted, but now that I am there I'm terrified of losing myself to it, losing who I was forever. If I lost who I was then who am I now, and if I can't go back what future is there for me? "I can understand that," Lisa said softly. "On top of that there was the constant anxiety I felt toward the impending birth, I was able to ignore it for a while, but well now." I said putting my hand to my ever growing abdomen. "Both things together just kept growing and growing and when I saw the video all of these fears just overwhelmed me and I kind of lost it!" I confessed. "I would imagine that most women would be anxious at the prospects of giving birth but I'm terrified!" I said wiping away the tears that were coming to my eyes. Both mom and Lisa got up and joined me on the couch each one hold one of my hands. "Its okay, Honey," Mom said softly putting her hand on my shoulder. "No it's not okay," I cried. "Mom I'm terrified! I don't like to be in a position of not being in control and here I am stuck, completely! Trapped inside a body that isn't mine and with absolutely no control what's so ever over what was happening to me!" I pulled my hands back and buried my face in them sobbing. "Nature has taken me over, and she's remorselessly inflicting changes on this female body that my male conciseness had absolutely no way to deal with!" I cried. "Honey," Mom said. "I.. I.. I can't do it! I just wish it would stop! All of it!" I yelled. "Please mom, make it stop!" I said as I threw myself into her arms. Mom just wrapped them around me and just held me as all the fear flooded back into me. As I cried I felt Lisa's hand touch my back and it wasn't long before all three of us were in tears. "It's alright, look were here for you remember, well help you get through this," Mom said holding me tightly till I calmed down. "I don't know if I can do this mom," I said. "I don't think I'm strong enough to bear it." "You'll be fine, you're not the only woman to feel that way!" Mom said. "I felt the same way when I had you." She laughed. "I felt like God was playing a cruel joke on me! But honestly I was the most fantastic experience of my life." "Of course you might the only guy that dose," Lisa said with a chuckle and a sniffle. "Shut up Lisa," I said half laughing and half crying. That night after we all talked I just went up to bed and passed right out. I felt so drained emotionally and physically that I think I literally fell asleep before my head hit the pillow. It felt so good to open up and let all that fear and anxiety go. I was so lucky to have such an understanding mom and sister. If there was anything that I could take away from this it was that this experience had brought us so close together. The next day Mom and Lisa decided to treat me to a day out to lunch and to a movie. I think I surprised them when I suggested the latest 'chick flick' at least Mom. Lisa just smiled although I didn't ask I'm sure she found out already about my love of them from Jessica. Of course as a guy I never felt comfortable going to one of those movies alone. For dinner mom made a wonderful lasagna, one of my favorites. After we all ate Lisa gave me a long hug and headed home. That night when mom went to sleep and everything was quite I reached over for my MP3 player on the nightstand plugged it into a pair of speakers and started my drumming music. Lying back I took a few deep breaths. Okay I thought, focus. I closed my eyes listening to the drumming, once again I found myself in a deep green forest looking at a huge hollow tree, my entrance to the lower world. As I approached the tree I paused. "I'm journeying to the lower world to meet Jasmine to ask about how the pregnancy will go," I announced to the universe, fixing that goal in my mind I stepped into the hollow space inside the tree. Down I felt myself being pulled down through the warm moist earth, past roots and water and rock. Down further and further till I saw a light up ahead. The light was getting closer and closer till I was standing inside another huge hollow tree. I stepped out of the tree into another forest, dark and green the forest of my lower world. I looked down at myself, I was once again in my male body, I found myself touching my abdomen, I felt so empty now I thought when a sound brought my attention back to the forest. To my right out from behind some tress Jasmine my power animal appeared. She was like always, soft light brown fur, almost golden in the sun, the fur under her tail bright white flashed as she moved close to me and nuzzled my arm. Wrapping my arms around her neck I started to cry. "I'm so scared, Jasmine, I, I don't think I can do this, I'm, I'm not strong enough to do this," I said in a shaking voice. Jasmine just looked at me and then grabbed my shirt in her mouth, tugging me. "Come," Jasmine told me as she turned around and motioned for me to climb on her back. We were off the forest a blur as she passed through, journeying out onto a great plain and beyond feeling her body move beneath me, with such grace and power as she leap and ran. We were approaching a great mountain, snow capped peaks disappeared into the clouds. Slowing down she took me into a small canyon, stopping finally at a pool of blue water with steam rising from its surface. I looked around, the gray rock in contrast to the blue of the water of the pool. The sun shown down but the mountain was still shrouded in clouds. I looked over at Jasmine who was walking toward the edge of the pool. "Is this a volcano?" I asked her. Jasmine at the edge of the pool just looked back at me, beckoning me to come over. I walked up next to her and ran my hand down her neck, she responded my rubbing her head against my chest. Looking around I had no idea what I was doing here. What was she showing me? What was I supposed to learn here? Jasmine just lay on the ground and I sat next to her in a half lotus position and she placed her head in my lap. There was a rubbing followed by a small shutter in the earth. The far end of the pool started to bubble and rise. Then a geyser erupted out of the pool with a great rushing sound, spraying blue water twenty feet into the air. As it continued I saw that the blue of the water in the geyser had started to take on a definite reddish tint, perhaps not red but more of a pinkish hue. After a few minutes the geyser wound down, looking at the pool the blue was changing, pinkish hues started to mix in. I looked down at Jasmine who just looked back and nuzzled my hand. "I don't understand," I said to her. Jasmine then got up and before I could follow she touched her noise to my abdomen and I felt a warmth feeling starting to grow in my abdomen, I look up at her and she seemed to be smiling at me I put my hand to on my abdomen. I feel a tension growing, the warm feeling is starting to buildup, it's growing bigger and bigger, my body is so hot I can feel myself start to sweat. I started to shake and the energy building in my abdomen erupts traveling up my spine and through my body. Faster and faster it travels, growing and growing. I feel like I'm going to explode! My hands now wrapped around my abdomen I can't take it anymore, I'm at my limit! I look up at Jasmine for help and she kisses my forehead and suddenly all the energy is released in one giant burst! The world disappears into flowing energy. I see a wave of reddish, pink energy flowing up and up and wound inside is dark blue. The blue surges in and out and around like a great snake. I feel as if I am falling backwards. Down, down I travel watching this wave of energy flow as I go till I see nothing, nothing. Just darkness. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I am awoken to the sound of the alarm clock. Slapping the alarm off I lie there staring up at the ceiling replaying the journey over and over inside my head trying to fix it into my memory. Getting up I turn off the MP3 player and go over to the desk and wake up the computer and start to type out what I remember, this time I thought I wanted to make sure I got everything. After I typed it out and reread it still didn't make any damn sense. I was just sitting there wondering what all this could mean when I was pulled back to reality by my stomach. Just then I heard my mom call out and I put on my robe tied it shut and head down stairs for some breakfast.