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Chapter 5 - The Doc "This meeting will come to order!" said Cindy, tapping on the desk with the end of her pen. "Wow, that sounded really official," she said as everyone went quiet, "I must try that again sometime!" and smiled. "OK then, everybody, this is Victoria's three month review pre-meeting. She will be here later, so now is our chance to get everything in place for the next three months, so, is everyone happy with progress?" There was a general murmuring of agreement in the room. "OK, any points we need to bring up? James, how is the exercise routine going, I'm worried about us not having control as she does it at home. Are the results up to standard?" "Yes, Cindy, they are fine! I have spoken to Anne and she says that Victoria spends the required time in her gym at home and completes the programmes every day, in fact, if anything, she tends to overdo it a bit! From the recent measurements I took at our last session, her upper body is actually ahead of target, so I will be reducing the intensity for the next month to see what happens, we don't want any more muscular development in the shoulders, although the pectorals could still do with a little more. In the lower half of the body, I am going to increase the intensity of the squats to build up the gluts a little more to compensate for the lack of panniculus, but its all within what we should expect!" "Fascinating!" said Cindy with a touch of irony which James seemed not to notice, "but she's on track as far as you are concerned, then?" "Yes, Cindy!" "Treatments OK, Naomi?" "Yes Cindy, the dermatology is fine, skin softness is good and nails are doing fine, she's really taken to the Gels and the girls are very pleased, although Amy thinks that she would look really good with a navel piercing now that the exercises have flattened her stomach a little more. Hair quality is good too and the length is extending well with good thickness." "What about the Laser Tech, is she here?" asked Cindy. "Yes Cindy," came a voice from the back of the room, "everything is going OK, facial and neck hair growth is almost non-existent, as is stomach and chest. Arms are responding well, as are legs. We have to start on the pubic region next so we will need to define the final pubic hair shape before we go too much further!" "OK," said Cindy, making notes. "Now, the big question, what about her visit to Dr Anita? Do you think she is ready? "We were discussing this before you arrived," said Naomi, "and we are all agreed that she is! The blood test results for the hormones are all within limits and the nurse thinks that she could have a higher dose, but the question is if Victoria thinks she is? Have you asked her yet?" "Not only have I not asked her, but, she knows nothing about Dr Anita! As you know, we have only been including a minimal hormone dose with her vitamin supplements, which Dr Anita has been supervising and the results have been quite satisfactory. In fact, if she wants to up the dose now, Victoria must be ready, and, of course, she has been monitoring her mental state using the nurse who comes to do the blood samples and counselling!" "The only thing that came up on the counselling, is that she has no "sex life" which is unusual for someone her age. Maybe its he effects of the hormones, or the stresses of the exercise and dietary regime, but have any of you noticed if she has any "special friends?" "No? OK, then," said Cindy, making even more notes, "I'll let you know the outcomes later, thanks for all your input! Opening in 15 minutes!" ----- o ----- o ----- o ----- o ----- o ----- I was having a lie in. My usual Monday morning early start at Cindy's had been, for some reason, been put back by a couple of hours and I was taking advantage. Then there was a knock on the bedroom door. Anne came in with a tray and set it down on the table. "A treat for you," she said "breakfast in bed!" The tray had on it a small bowl of muesli, two slices of wholemeal toast with honey, a bowl of fresh fruit salad and a pot of tea. I climbed out of bed and slipped into my negligee, red and lacy, and tucked in. "What time at Cindy's today, I've forgotten?" I asked. "11.00" "OK, plenty of time then!" I said. "Well," said Anne, "you've got to go looking smart today, so you'll need extra time." "Smart?" I said. "What ever for?" "Cindy didn't say, but look, its all here on the schedule!" "OK then!" One hour later I was dressed and ready to go. There was a cold wind so Anne made me wear a black, knee length wool coat and black patent stiletto knee boots. Under that was a deep red leather pencil skirt about 4 inches above the knee and ridiculously tight, pulled in at the waist with a wide belt, but it appeared from under the folds of the coat with every step. It was so tight that I had to wear a heavy-duty shape- wear slip to hold everything together, which was deliciously tight. On top I was wearing a smooth red longline bra with my regular breast forms under a plain semi-transparent black blouse with long sleeves and a high neck with a pussy-bow tie. Red leather gloves, a black and red sheer leopard print scarf and a black patent tote bag completed the outfit, but I was also wearing a deep suspender belt and thong that matched my bra and 10 denier black lace top stockings. In my lobes were a pair of small crystal hoop earrings with two diamond studs in the other holes, a wrist watch with a stainless steel bangle strap and a crystal face. On the other wrist, three thin sliver bracelet. Anne had sprayed me with Gautier perfume. I felt like a million dollars. "What is it about stockings, perfume and tight underwear that is such a turn on?" I thought to myself, as I walked slowly to Cindy's. On arrival I was shown into office, where I found her waiting for me. I took off the coat and gloves and Cindy gave a nod of approval. "I hope that this skirt is not going to be too short," I said, "you know how they ride-up. I don't want to be showing my stocking tops to everyone, not if its supposed to be "smart"!" Cindy just smiled. "You look fine," she said,"now come and sit here beside me." We sat on the sofa in her office and chatted of this and that, then Naomi arrived with coffee and pastries. She joined us and made notes. "Its your three month review!" Cindy announced, "that's why we are starting later. We have lots to get through and some big decisions to take." "Oh," I said, "a review! Is it all going wrong, have I done something I shouldn't?" "No, don't worry,its just routine" said Cindy, "we have almost come to the end of the changes we can make with just cosmetics, treatments and training so we need to know how you are finding things, if it has met with your expectations and how we should go on from here!" "I don't know," I said, "I haven't really thought about it!" "Well, let me ask you this, then," said Cindy "are you enjoying being Mrs da Silva?" "Not really," I said. "Oh!" said Cindy, looking worried, "why-ever not?" "Well, ever since that photo came out in the newspaper of the waitresses at the house warming party, I've been thinking about changing it. What do you think of just 'Victoria Silver'," I said, "at least it sounds a bit more like its an English name - you know they called me an 'Exotic South American Beauty' don't you. I mean, did you ever see a blue-eyed blond from South America, unless it comes out of a bottle!" "Ah, you had me worried there for a moment," said Cindy. "You misunderstand, what I really want to know is, do you like being a woman 24/7?" "Oh Cindy, its the most amazing thing ever. I was really scared of coming here to the city, where I knew no-one and trying to live like this. I could never have done it without your help, and Anne, and all of you. Whatever happens, I am never going back to how I was, in fact, I need to ask you if you know anyone who knows about doing a permanent gender changes, I mean, getting a new bank account and drivers licence and all the paperwork stuff so I can really get serious with all of this." "Now Victoria," Cindy said, "that's all very well, but so far, we have only taken steps that can be reversed if necessary. The things you are talking about still could be reversed, but not as easily as for example, removing those lovely nails you are wearing. Once we get into paperwork changes, it takes lots of time to do, as would a reversal. It leads to lots of confusion if you decide go have to go back again. If that's what you want to do then, Naomi will make some enquiries and set those wheels in motion." "Oh no, I'm never going back again, ever, well not if I can avoid it, no, not ever!" "OK, that's good to hear you are so positive, but there are some things I have to tell you which may make you think again!" "First, I have to confess to you that we have been giving you female hormones, only at low levels and under medical supervision of the nurse who comes to take your dietary blood samples. She works for a friend of mine who is a doctor, and she is the one who has been supervising your medication. They are part of the reason why your skin is so soft and why your breasts are a cup size larger!" "A size larger? They don't seem any bigger," I said, cupping them. "Are you sure?" "Yes. You know that we replaced your old breast forms about a month ago, well, we went down to a smaller size because your own natural breast tissue had grown! That way we maintained your dress size so all your clothes still fit!" "Oh! That must be why they sometimes feel a bit more sensitive than usual." "Well, yes, maybe, but, I have some things to ask you and then, if you are OK, we will go and meet Dr Anita, who has been supervising your treatment." We went through a whole list of options and preferences and things to consider, even what shape pubic hair I wanted to have, more than you could ever want to know. After lunch, we walked along the boulevards, crossed squares of the city and after about 15 minutes arrived at Dr Anita's office. We sat and waited with the receptionist for five minutes and then shown into the Doctors office. Dr Anita was a small middle-aged lady, who I guessed looked older than her years because her hair was rather grey and she was dressed in a pair of grey trousers and a rather plain white blouse. "My, my!" she said when she saw me. "What a beautiful skirt, is it real leather?" "Yes," I said, "I think so. Yes it is!" "Well, its really beautiful! Come in and sit down!" "OK Victoria, tell me why you have come to see me?" "Well, because I er... er - I don't actually know!" I said. "Why are we here Cindy?" Anita smiled. "I'm sorry Victoria, that was an unfair question, but I just wanted to see what you knew! So tell me, how long have you been living as a woman full time? "Well about six months now, three months in the city and then before that three months whilst I was filming and afterwards." "And you know that we have been giving you a small dose of female hormones for the last three months too?" "Yes," I said. "And how have you been getting along with that?" "Well, I didn't really notice any difference, except that my breasts are a little tender and they have grown a bit!" "OK, well, we are here to explore some possibilities. Has Cindy asked you about your experiences living as a woman full-time, and whether you want to continue down that route, because, from where I am sitting, from your physical appearance today, you make a perfectly acceptable woman, in fact, a quite attractive one I would believe." "Yes," I said, "and I said that there was no way I was going to go back to how I used to be, ever, not if I could avoid it!" "I see. Well, in that case I can tell you that after extensive discussions of your case with my nurse, and bearing in mind the input from Cindy and her staff, we all believe that you would be suitable for breast augmentation surgery, if that is something you would like to consider!" My mouth opened and closed again, bit no sound come out. "We are sorry to spring this on you," said Cindy, "we should have had a conversation earlier, its just all come around so fast. We are learning at Cindy's too about the implications of doing what we are doing together. We try not to make any mistakes, but this time we did. Have you ever thought about breast implants, Victoria?" "Well, yes," I said, "Alex has them and they look really natural on her, but when I think about 'boob-jobs' I have this image of women with really massive... er well tits!" "You are not alone in that," said Dr Anita, "the large breast implant thing that you see in the media makes a good story, but the vast majority of breast surgery is on normal, ordinary women who have normal, ordinary sized breasts and implants." We spent an hour or so in her office. After a breast examination, which she pronounced herself happy with, we spent the rest of the time going through the options, type of implant, how they should be fitted, what size to have, how long it took, when it could be done and how much it would cost. When we finished our consultation, Dr Anita came with us to the door and wished us a fond goodbye, telling Cindy to "look after" me, let me know the decision as soon as possible and saying she would definitely take Cindy up on her offer of a makeover. "What do you think of Dr Anita, then?" Cindy asked me on the walk back. "Well," I said, "she could look really good if she had her hair done properly and got some clothes that fitted her properly. I mean, those baggy grey pants do her no favours at all!" "Spoken like a true woman," said Cindy. "Yes, I agree, but I was meaning about her attention to your case!" "She was very re-assuring," I said, "I never thought it would be something I could afford, so I never considered it before, but having your own breasts, I mean, wow! But then, you already know that, you have them already!" "Well, that's the thing," said Cindy, "for us girls, they are just normal. We don't really know how it is to be without them, but what I do know is that the women who I have met who have had this done, some of my clients in fact, and go from almost no-breasts to breasts overnight, so to speak, are really happy with them! Most of them, you would never know they have had surgery!" "Oh I would really like to have them done, I'll talk to Alex about hers," I said, "then I just need to find the money!" "Well," said Cindy, "I don't know how you'll feel about this, but if you are happy for Carl to do some before and after photos, we will pay half, but only if you want to!" "I'll ask Anne what my bank balance is like," I said, "I really have no idea!" "OK," said Cindy "lets go and have a coffee - it's too late to start anything at the office today and in any case, I need to ask you something." So we went to Carlo's and were shown to a table by the window. Two Italian coffees appeared and we sat and chatted about my upcoming programme at Cindy's. Then Cindy said that she wanted to ask me something particular. "What it is," said Cindy, "is, that we are concerned that you don't have any particular friends!" "Friends?" I said. "I don't have any friends?" "Well, no!" "I never really had a large number of friends before Victoria," I said, "and I lost touch with them when I moved up here three or four years back. But I do have friends, Alex for starters!" "No," said Cindy, "I mean.... well, I actually mean girlfriends or boyfriends whatever your "thing" is." "My "thing"?" "Yes, look, what I mean is.... well.... dating. With members of the opposite sex, or the same sex, whatever your thing is, I mean, I don't mean to pry, but we are worried that you are, well, you aren't.... oh my, I'm not making a very good job of this am I?" "I just don't have time to think about things like that, at the moment!" "That's just what I mean," said Cindy, "you should be going out enjoying yourself, not sitting at home, not at you age. How will you ever meet someone sitting at home!" "Who would want me?" I said. "A half boy-girl with a messed up head." "Your head is far from messed-up, in fact, you are one of the most level-headed people I know, if you would only let yourself," said Cindy, "I mean, today would have completely screwed-up some people mentally, but not you, you just got on with it. We are really sorry we messed it up, but there must be something you would like to do that's better than sitting at home every night. Why don't you go out to the cinema with someone?" "Well," I said, "I always fantasised about going to the theatre, to a big show or the Opera, you know, all dressed up in a swishy evening dress and drinking champagne with a handsome guy in a dinner suit, but I don't suppose they do that any more!" I said. "Leave it to me and I will find out," said Cindy. "In fact, I'm quite partial to a bit of Opera myself, nothing too heavy, thought. But its very concerning that you don't get out more, especially now that you are developing into such a striking woman! That is a really stunning outfit. Sexy, but not overt and practical, keeps you warm, but shows you off, any man would love to be with you wearing that!" I blushed and went all coy. "Stop that now!" said Cindy. "You have to learn to take a compliment, even when it is just flattery, which this isn't by the way." "But I never know what to say," I protested. "It's easy," said Cindy, "just smile and say ""Thank you", that's all there is to it!" "Thank you," I said, smiling! "There you are," said Cindy, "I told you it was easy, but would you mind if I asked you another question though, its not just for the sake of asking, there is a purpose to it. I asked Anne already, but she doesn't really know either?" "Well, OK," I said, "but I don't guarantee an answer!" "Are you a girl who prefers boys, or a girl who prefers other girls?" asked Cindy. "Well, I wasn't expecting that question," I said. "Why do you want to know?" "I was thinking that if I could arrange for us to go out to a show, then, well, its not going to be much fun with just the two of us, and I don't think you want to play gooseberry if I bring my husband, so I thought that I might try to arrange a blind date for you. Sorry, if that's a bad idea!" "Oh, I don't care," I said, laughing, "as long as he's breathing, looks good in a suit and buys the champagne, that's fine by me. Actually, I don't really like champagne! I just want to be dressed up to the nines and feel really special! I don't really know who I am sexually, its a bit confusing. When I was small there were just two sexes, you know, boy and girl, so easy, but real life's not like that and inside my head, I don't really seem to fit in anywhere yet." "Just remember what Dr Anita said!" "What was that?" I asked. "The way you look today, you make a perfectly acceptable, attractive woman," I think it was, said Cindy, "and we are only half way there, three months gone, three to go!" "I suppose you are right," I said. "Yes, and its not just me, you have professional medical opinion now too." We finished our coffee and left. Cindy went back to the shop and I went home. Anne was waiting and wanted to know everything. "So you are definitely not going back, then?" she asked. "No," I said. "Thank God," she said "Why do you say that," I asked, "is it so obvious that I am the last to see it?" "No," said Anne, "it's just that I.... er.... threw out all the boxes with your male clothes in weeks ago. They all went into the charity bin after I kept tripping over them!" she confessed. "So I suppose that you are going to have the boob job as soon as, then, after all, why wait?" "Well, no, I don't suppose there is any reason to delay, when you put it like that," I replied. "Make sure you get them big enough tho', is my advice," said Anne. "I never realised you were a size queen," I laughed. "I'm not," said Anne, "but several of my friends have had it done, you know what happens when we ladies get to a certain age, everything goes south! But the "conservative ones", the ones who only wanted to have something to put them back to the same as what they were born with, they all went back and had at least a size bigger, if not two! You need to think carefully about that." "Oh yes," I said, "I've had all the size information from the doctor." "I'm sure that you have, but think about it from the psychological point of view. One of my friends thought, "what would my husband like", and actually, most of the husbands wanted a size or two bigger than their wives wanted. Now, you could say, that "they would say that wouldn't they", but actually, all the ones who opted for a smaller size, they all went back for an upgrade. And another thing, you have a bigger chest for your bodysize than most women, so you'll need a bigger cup size to balance that too. The thing we have to worry about is your hips, 'coz at the moment, your bum doesn't look big in anything, if you'll pardon me saying so!" "I'll take it as a compliment," I said, "and you'll be pleased to know that I've got to do extra 'squats' to build up my 'glutes' too, whatever that means!" "No, but you are only going to have the opportunity once, so best get it right if you can!" "So I was going to ask you," I said, "how is my bank balance looking, I will need to find the money for the op?" "Your bank balance is looking very healthy, in fact, you don't actually spend anything much at all. You don't buy any clothes because your wardrobes are full; I buy a little food to make up the items on your diet sheet, but there's nothing too expensive there. The rent is paid on this place for the next three months, you don't have a car and you stay home and exercise or go to Cindy's for treatments, which you don't pay for either. So, with the big deposits that came in from the film company when you arrived here and you spending nothing, you have almost everything still left." "Yes," I said, "but how much actually, in pounds and pennies is 'everything'?" "Oh, I don't keep the actual amounts in my head, my dear," she said, "but from memory, the last time I looked, including the last film payment, it was well over ?200,000." "Did you just say ?2,000?" I said, "I thought you said ?200,000, but I must have misheard?" "No, ?200,000 and something, is what it is, at the moment!!" "You can't be serious? Come on, tell me how much it is really!" "I am perfectly serious, Victoria, its a few thousand over ?200,000, in credit!" "But.... I had no idea.... how... ! !" "Look, I just pay the bills and do your banking, if you think its wrong, then you need to call someone, Alex maybe. I am sure she will know what's happened, but it all looks perfectly in order to me, whatever were you expecting?" "I don't really know," I said, "a few thousand I suppose, maybe ?10,000, but more than ?200,000, it really can't be right, can it?" "Well, whatever it is, it does mean you can afford the operation, I think, how much do you need?" "Only ?2,000 or ?3,000, Cindy is going halves with me in exchange for some before and after photos!" "No problem, then," said Anne, "shall I phone the clinic tomorrow to book the appointment?" "Yes," I said still dazed by this sudden financial shock, "I suppose you'd better!" ----- o ----- o ----- o ----- o ----- o ---- I went to see Cindy next day to tell her about my decision to have the op. "I know," she said, "Anne just phoned and asked me to tell you you are going in to Dr Anita's Hospital Clinic on Thursday morning, which is good, because I have got four tickets for the Gala Night at the Opera House two weeks on Friday for Tosca." "Thursday, that's the day after tomorrow!" "Yes," said Cindy, "Anita gets on with things, but I think you have got a cancellation appointment! We will reschedule everything now, because you will need a week or so resting after the operation and then only light exercise. We will do your treatments for today, then, if you can come in tomorrow as usual, I will get Carl to do some 'before' photos. Then, after your week resting, we will have to think about how to get you ready for the Night at the Opera. You remember Stella at the house-warming, the lady with the chain of boutiques, well, she has some really great dresses which would look great for a Gala night at the Opera, if you don't have anything suitable in your wardrobe. She will let us have the pick of the store if we do some publicity shots for her, I'm sure Carl will be available. What do you think?" "I don't think I will have recovered from the operation in time will I? Not so soon?" "Don't you remember, Anita said its only day surgery with a local anaesthetic, if everything goes OK, you will be home in the afternoon, then its a week's rest and after that you can return to normal life, just no heavy exercise for a while, and I don't think sitting at the Opera counts as heavy exercise!" So Carl took the 'before' photos on Wednesday, and Anne and I arrived at the hospital on Thursday morning for my appointment. Dr Anita was there in her surgical scrubs to meet us and went through the procedure we had agreed on. I was given a tablet to "relax" me, undressed and put into a surgical gown. I lay on a trolley, relaxed as instructed and after that I remembered nothing until I was awakened by Dr Anita who was calling my name. "Yes," I said drowsily, "I'm here are we ready to start?" "No," she said, "it's all over, you are done." "Oh, fine," I said and drifted off again. Then Anne was calling my name. "Time to wake up, time to go," she said, "doctor says you are OK to go now! I have all the instructions about how to look after you. You have to come back again on Monday, just to see how things are, come on lets go!" I was helped to my feet and we walked out of the hospital. I was somehow wearing a pair of loose fitting pants, joggers I believe they are, training shoes and the loose zipped up top with a hood, that I usually wore for the Gym. "Why am I dressed like this?" I asked. "Are we going to the gym? I thought I was having my surgery today," I said. We climbed into a waiting taxi. "You've had the surgery," said Anne, don't you remember, "feel here!" She raised my hand to my chest to feel the bulges. "That's just my breast-forms, don't you remember, I wear breast-forms?" "Not any more, you don't, those are all you now, 100% you, or at least they will be on Monday when the bandages come off. Anita let me have a peek, they look amazing!" "What do?" I asked. "Never mind," said Anne, "we'll talk about it later!" I didn't remember anything else about Thursday until I woke up, and found sitting up in bed, propped up by lots of pillows. "Feeling better?" asked Anne, "here, take these!" She offered me two round, white pills. "What are they?" "Pain killers," she said, "you can have two more today and then I have enough for eight each day until Monday. If the pain is too much, we can phone Anita for something stronger, but she says these should be OK!" Slowly, everything fell into place. "So, I've had the op. then?" I said "Yes, don't you remember?" "No, not really, I just remember going to the hospital with you this morning and meeting Dr Anita, then I was lying on a trolley, then I was here. What happened?" "Well, you have had the surgery, everything went well, except that, well, you know that they put the implants in and then fill them afterwards when they are inside you?" "Yes." "Well, they had to fill them a little more than they originally thought, to get them to look right, so you will have a bit bigger size than planned, but apart from that, it all went really well. You were only in there for about an hour and a half or so." "What time is it now, then?" "Oh, about 10.30 or so I believe." "Mmmm well, that was really quick then, if we went in at 7.30 and its only 10.30 now!" "No, its 10.30 pm, those sedatives they gave you have made you sleep. We came home about 5.30 this afternoon and you have been asleep here since then. Now you have had your painkillers, you can sleep the rest of the night too if you want to, but you have to sleep face up, whilst the incisions heal, that's why you are propped up by those pillows. So I will be here tonight and tomorrow, in fact until you get the all clear from the clinic on Monday!" "But...." "No buts, I have a bed made up in the dressing room, so I can keep an eye on you, I will be just a door away. You need to rest and let the effects of the sedatives wear off, keep taking the pain killers and just relax." "But, can't I see what they have done?" I asked. "Well, no, its all bandaged up until Monday, but if you look inside your nightdress...." She held open the neckline of the nightdress and I looked down. Sure enough, there were two heavily supported globe shaped lumps underneath, and they looked massive!" "It must be a mistake," I said, "they are huge!" "Don't worry" said Anne, "that's mostly swelling, bandaging and the padding in the support bra, I saw them before they covered you up, and they look just perfect. All that lot has to stay on and kept dry for four days, so no showers above the waist. Your hair will be a mess, but we can do something with it I'm sure. We have to go back and see them on Monday to make sure everything is OK. I wish they were mine, I really do, you are such a lucky girl! I'll bring you some tea and something to eat for supper, then its time for bed." The weekend came and went. I wanted no visitors as I looked a fright, but Carl came to take some "after" photographs on Saturday, followed by Alex who brought flowers, chocolates and sympathy. I was still in some discomfort. It felt very tight like there was a weight on my chest!" "That's because there is, honey!" she said matter of factly, but when all that comes off and you see them for the first time, you will be knocked out, I guarantee it! "Nothing feels very different at the moment," I said, "except for this tightness." "Yes, but you are used to wearing forms and you are sitting around here doing nothing, wait 'til you get the all clear and you can wear something to show them off a bit, you're bound to get lots of attention! Anne tells me that they were bigger than you planned." "Well, yes, they had to put more fluid in because I was a bit lopsided when they sat me up to check. I don't know what size I actually am until everything settles down a bit." "Don't worry about it," said Alex, "I wish mine were a bit bigger, actually." "No they are perfect as they are," I said, "but then Anne did tell me that half her friends wanted bigger and the other half had them bigger to begin with. I thought she was exaggerating, but if you say that too, she must be right." ----- o ----- o ----- o ----- o ----- o ---- Anne and I went back to see Dr Anita. The dressings and supports were removed and I was checked out fully. Dr Anita pronounced herself satisfied and said that my incisions were healing up well. There was still some swelling and a little bruising, but the breasts themselves were not painful, just a little soreness remained around the incisions. I was told to keep them well supported for the first three months as a precaution, but that everything was going well. I had strict instructions about what I could do and what not to do, which all seemed pretty straight forward. "Look after them and above all, enjoy them," she told me, smiling. "I'm sure you will!" We went home, and I jumped straight into the shower. Oh what luxury to feel clean again and have freshly washed hair. I dried myself, put on a clean support bra and slipped into a fluffy towelling robe. There on the bed was a box, wrapped in shiny pink paper and tied with a ribbon. Anne was tidying the room. "Where did this come from?" I asked. "A courier delivered it whilst you were in the shower," Anne said. "And there are two cards that came with it!" I opened the first envelope. "Enjoy!" was all it said. "You have to open the box now!" said Anne smiling. "Do you know what's in here?" I asked. "No," she said, "but I know who sent it, because they told me to give you the second envelope only after you have opened the box and looked inside. I'm looking forward to finding out what's inside just as much as you are." I cut the ribbon, took off the paper and opened the box. Inside, it was filled with pale pink tissue paper and scented beads. Opening the paper revealed a bra, deep purple silk covered in black lace. "For heavens sake, who sends you a bra as a gift when you've just come out of hospital?" I said. "You can open the second envelope and find out," she said, "but only after you've put it on! Let me help!" I carefully removed the hospital support bra and she fastened it around my waist. "It probably won't fit anyway," I said, "its going to be too small now after the operation." "Don't touch!" she scolded as she slid it up my chest, "we don't want any accidents! Just hold it under the cups whilst I make some adjustments!" I could feel her shortening the straps at the back and the weight of my new breasts transferring from my hands to my shoulders. "There, let me look," she said coming around to the front. "OK, it fits perfectly, take a look in the mirror!" I turned to look at my reflection. "What..... sort of bra is this," I blurted out, "it's.. well... it's... I can't wear this it shows the front of my... ! "Its a half-cup balconette bra, it supports your breasts from underneath, but the straps are set far apart so that you can wear dresses and tops with a wide neckline." "But I cant wear this sort of bra," I said, "people will see my breast- forms," I tailed off lamely. "Oh!" Anne just smiled that secret sort of smile that only she, and sometimes Alex, did. "Here's the matching knickers," she said, handing me a deep purple thong with black lace trim, "now just imagine a dress with a neckline that comes across here," she said, drawing a line with her finger down from my shoulder, across the front of my breasts just above the top of my bra, and down into my new cleavage, "how amazing will you look wearing something like that?" I fell silent, trying to imagine what it was going to be like with half my chest exposed. "What size is this bra then, actually," I asked, cupping my new breasts. "38.. D.. D!" said Anne triumphantly, pausing between each "D" for maximum effect! "O... M... G," I said quietly, "Alex was right, I am going to get lots of attention!" The card in the second envelope read - "From all the girls at Cindy's - Welcome to your new life!"