Alyx In Wonderland Chapter 4 free porn video

Thank you to everyone who has left comments for previous chapters. Your support mean a lot to us. If you feel too shy to leave a comment, or have questions you'd like to ask, or maybe you want to tell us about your own work. Any of the above you can contact us here: [email protected] Now for this week's episode... Chapter 4 We were waiting outside the building when Tom and Chloe pulled up. "Hey Becca," he said, getting out of the car to load the trunk. He looked at me and said, "you must be Allie," as he took my bag from me. I rolled my eyes and said ha. I got into the back with Chloe, since Becca was navigating and we were the smallest. Tom kept going, "I am so glad you dumped that guy. What a loser. What was his name? Albert, Alvin..." while Becca laughed and Chloe rolled her eyes at me. "Ha ha, Tom. Done yet?" He adjusted the rear view and I'd swear I caught him checking out my legs. I must've been right because Chloe reached up front and hit his head. All thanks to Tom, I was wearing blue women's shorts and a girl's t shirt. Becca laughed but looked reproachfully at him. We would've been on our way upstate but we had to pick up Aaron in Forest Hills first. I wanted to say something but didn't want to whine and seem ungrateful. Instead, I looked at Chloe, who nodded and said, "tell me again why we have to pick him up. It's not enough that he leeched on to our weekend," and she rubbed my leg. "We have to go out of our way too. And he's going to look for locations without a car?" Based on Tom's aggravated expulsion of breath, this was clearly a fight they had had before, that Chloe was having for my benefit. "I told you already. He's renting the car up there because it's cheaper. And we can take," and he listed a series of roads none of which I knew, "and it'll be faster." It wasn't. Even with the aircon on full blast, my legs were sticking to the seats. Then, we got stuck in traffic getting to Aaron. When we finally got there, Becca said, "Ok guys. Squeeze in so Aaron can get in." "Um, don't you think he should go upfront?" Chloe said. Becca said, "That's silly, Chlo," which got her a look she didn't see. "I'm navigating. And taller. We'd be crammed worse back there." Chloe looked at me, and we slid over so now I got to ride the middle. While Aaron stared at my legs. The drive up was interesting, a tour of wealth in America. The apartment buildings giving way to small houses, then larger ones. The cement giving way to patches of green then rolling hills that reminded me a little of the Chilterns. I'd never really engaged with the idea of New York State before. It was always about the city to my mind. It was hard to get it into my head that the whole state was a similar size to England. There was an argument over music. Becca had made her usual playlist. She always did for long car journeys. She'd spend hours on them, getting the timing and tempo right. Faster, harder numbers for the city followed by slower, more 'expansive' songs for the open countryside. Only after about twenty minutes of the open road, and the full length of Little Fluffy Clouds by The Orb and Tom started to protest that he needed faster 'sing along' material. "I'm falling asleep at the wheel." "OK, OK. Maybe some early hip hop? I've got a grunge mix..." Becca searched her Spotify account. Aaron lent forward, pushing me to one side. I could feel the sweat of his arm making an imprint on my skin. "I've got this. It's the playlist I use before the gym." He passed his phone to Becca who scrolled through it, her expression unreadable. "There's some good tracks." She nodded her head in approval. "Ha, look. Journey. Super kitsch." She looked at Tom. "Any good?" "So long as it wakes me up. You two?" He spoke to Chloe and me. We were still being crushed by Aaron who had taken up half the back seat. "Yeah sure, whatever you need." Chloe looked out of the window. I wondered how much she was just trying to get Aaron off us. Sabotage by the Beastie Boys started and Aaron finally moved off me. Tom's house was big, huge and modern, with floor to ceiling windows that looked out onto the rolling lawn that led to the lake. The sort of house I'd only seen in films. The house I'd grown up in, back in Cambridge was a converted barn. The original building was old enough to remember the Tudors. Bare stone and wooden floors that had once symbolised rural poverty. Now they existed to show my dad's university bestowed good taste. My dad crafted our home to subtly reinforce his education and achievements to visitors. Tom's dad had money and power and didn't mind if you knew. My eyes went wide. "Blimey. When does the shuttle come to take us from one end to the other?" The others laughed. Tom showed us to our room, then left to let us get settled in. As soon as the door closed, I burst out laughing. "Bloody hell! Did he ever tell you he was related to the Roosevelts and the Rockefellers?" "I wouldn't go that far." She put her hands on my hips and pulled me into a kiss. "Your butt looks amazing in those shorts." She squeezed. "Ow, that hurts, even through the padding. Go... mmmph." She kissed me again, cutting off my sentence. "The time for talking is over." She booped me on the nose. About two hours later we found our way to the other. "Have a nice nap?" Tom grinned. He was standing on the edge of the pool and I had half a mind to push him in. "You know, car rides take a lot out of you." Becca smiled a little too knowingly for my comfort. "That bathroom is amazing. I haven't had pressure like that since home. My mom's redoing the bathrooms. I have to tell her about the two heads." It wasn't her head and back banging against them. Aaron, who was already in the pool, swam up to greet us. "You're not coming in, Allie?" "No, she's allergic to the cleaning chemicals." Becca looked at me. This was the story we'd come up with. While my breast forms and prosthetics were convincing, we didn't know if they'd stand up to the water and the chlorine. Not with Aaron ogling me in a swimsuit. "She can't risk getting a rash, not with filming starting on Monday." "Oh right, Razor's new thing." With that, Becca and Aaron launched into industry talk. I felt a gentle touch on my arm and turned to see Chloe. "Poor Allie. The price of fame huh?" I nodded, not able to keep my eyes off the pool and how cool and inviting the water looked. "Want to help me with the mojitos?" "Sure." I sighed. From the kitchen we could see the others. I crushed the ice while Chloe did the rest. "So you two seem to be enjoying yourself." I could feel my ears burning red. "Well, we won't see much of each other over the next couple of months." I readjusted my shorts. "You OK?" Chloe had spotted what I was doing. In a hushed voice, I just said, "it gets..a little sore sometimes. You know...with the..." She smiled and held up her hand. "Got it." She crossed her arms and seemed to freeze for a moment. "Anyway, I think there's a tray over here. You OK with the tray if I carry the pitcher?" We took the tray out to the pool deck to find the three of them toweling off and then putting on clothes. Chloe looked pissed off. "What's going on? Allie and I just made mojitos." Tom kissed her on the cheek. "I'm sorry, honey. We totally lost track of time. We have to get Aaron to the car rental place." "We?" I said. Becca smiled and booped me on the nose. "You don't mind if I tag along with them, do you bunny?" Bunny was not best pleased that Becca was leaving. I shrugged and probably pouted, which didn't help. "We'll be back soon, don't worry," she said, in the sort of tone you used with small children. Then, she turned to Chloe and said, "Text us if you need us to get something." They all left and Chloe let loose. "I cannot believe them. We make fresh drinks and they just bolt out of here..." "I know. It sucks. On the other hand, at least Aaron's gone. For now." She smiled. "You don't like Aaron? What's wrong with Aaron?" "You weren't the one riding next to him. Every turn, he leaned into me. And he kept staring at my legs in the car. It was creepy." She poured herself a mojito and held up a glass. I nodded. We each took a sip. "Well, screw them, we did a damn good job on these." Then, she laughed. "You do have really nice legs." "That is so not the point," I turned them from side to side, examining them as if I'd suddenly see something new about them. "Then," and I imitated his voice. "You're not coming in? Oh god, I wanted to go in after, just to wash that feeling off. And it didn't help that Becca didn't say anything." I saw a look on her face and said, "what?" She took another sip. "You won't say anything, right?" I took a sip. "Of course not." "I can't believe she left like that. What the hell? I mean, we were all supposed to hang out together and she just goes off like that with them. You'd think she'd want to hang out here. What the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck? What the fuck is the matter with her?" I had nothing to say. I wished I knew. "Sorry about that. I'm just pissed at Tom." "It's fine," I said. "Honestly, I'm fine with the break." She raised an eyebrow. I caught myself. "It's just that I've been totally stressed lately. I like just chilling by the pool." I took another sip and said, "Yup. Their loss." We sat for a few minutes, "I should probably go unpack." She looked at me and said, "Oh yeah, that's right. You were napping before." I smiled and gave her the finger. I went in and Chloe followed a few minutes later, carrying the tray with the drinks and the pitcher. I was moving my clothes from the suitcase to the wooden hangers in the closet. From the bedroom window, you could see a sliver of the lake. Tom confirmed that there were kayaks we could use. That was the sole saving grace of this whole weekend. At least before I went off, I would get to kayak. Since I was little, I had loved the water. Growing up in the Fens, it's all around you. I learned to swim when I was four, when my father took me to the old Victorian swimming baths for lessons. When I got sick, the physical therapist recommended swimming to build my muscles. From there, I picked up rowing. I wasn't strong enough for any sort of competitive rowing but still I liked the feeling of speed, the air blowing in my face. On the water, I was free. "Hey, Chloe." She put her drink down on the dresser. "I know you're upset about everything. About y'know having to..." "Yeah well, fuck it." I took out a t shirt and refolding it before putting it in a drawer. She laughed. "You're really good at that. I can't imagine Becca doing it that well." You can't get good at something you've never done. I took out a dress, a short red print dress with a v neck and short sleeves, and put it on a hanger, smoothing it with my hand. It had a small bow at the hip. She held the fabric in between her fingers. "Ooh, this is really cute. Is this Becca's? I've never seen this before." I took another sip of my drink and just looked at her. She laughed, "I didn't think so. I'm just playing, Allie. Seriously, that is a really cute dress. Where did you get it?" "Target. $20.00." "Seriously? I need to go there more often. Can I see it?" I pointed at it. She said, "You know what I mean." I whined a little and she said, "Please. Come on. It's not like I haven't seen you in a dress before." I sighed, feeling the effects of the mojito. I topped off mine and hers, and we clicked glasses. "Fine, go in the other room." She giggled something about it being 'just us girls,' but she left. I put it on, with a pair of sandals. I came out and she said, "Omigod, Allie. You look so hot in that." "Stop," I said, feeling slightly silly. She looked around me and said, "You better not wear that around Aaron. Your ass looks amazing." Then she looked at my feet. "What size shoes do you wear?" I giggled. "Men's 7." What could I say? I had tiny feet. "That is sooo cool," she said. "We have the same size feet." Yeah, cool. "I have booties that would go perfectly with that." "Huh?" I was confused, and getting a little buzzed on top of it. She handed them to me, giggling and topping off our drinks. "Just put them on, Allie." I tried them on. "Oh yeah, you look gorgeous." Since the project started, I hadn't been drinking as much. Besides my ID, Monica told me to cut back, saying it makes you bloated. So, now, I was definitely drunker than normal. I put on the booties and looked in the mirror. "Damn," I turned, "these do look good. Thanks." "Let me try," she said, laughing. "Try what?" I said, turning this way and that, and looking at myself. "The dress," she said. "Let me try it on. Come on, I loaned you my dress and now you let me try yours. Then, we can be," and she started to giggle, "dress buddies!" I clicked her glass with mine and we both drank. "Dress buddies forever." "OK, gimme," she fell back on the bed. I laughed. "Go in the other room. I'll bring it." "Come on Allie. Don't be silly. Just take it off. You're not going commando, are you?" "No, but..." "But what? Come on, come on," and she clapped her hands. Looking back, I don't know what I was doing, but I took it off and handed it to her, leaving me in my bathing suit. "OK, now, turn around. And close your eyes." "Seriously?" "I'm very shy," she said, giggling. She put it on and said, "OK, turn around. How do I look?" "You look gorgeous. Better than me." She put her arm around me. "We are two hot babes. And Tom and Becca are stupid. Know why?" I shook my head. I could feel my hair swishing around my face. "Because they have two hot babes and they're with Aaron," she checked herself out in the mirror. "Can I wear this later?" I shrugged, figuring why not. "Thanks! You have something else, right?" I did. I had brought a short skirt and top. My 'uniform' as Becca called it. We went downstairs to the living room. One wall was all window, looking out onto the garden a line of trees in the distance. She plopped down on the couch and looked out the window, "Every time I come here, I forget how crazy rich Tom, well his parents, are." She tucked her feet under her. "Tom's mom would lose her shit if she saw us sitting here drinking like this. Tom's mom. That rhymes," she giggled. "This is insane." I could feel my head spinning. I sat down on the sofa with a bump, almost spilling my own drink. We sat next to each other and started giggling so hard I had to fight for breath. "Is Becca's place like this?" I said. "I mean her parents'?" I paused, "I have no idea where she's from. Is Seattle like this?" I looked out at the garden, without warning a system of sprinklers turned on. In the heat the water quickly turned into a hazy mist. It reminded me of walking to school in autumn. The mist over the fields, the quiet. She snorted, "She tells people Seattle when she wants them to think she's the 99%. She's from Mercer Island..." I shrugged. "And? I mean I'm from an island," I giggled. Chloe laughed. "Yeah, well Mercer Island is money. Sick money. Amazon, Microsoft money, that kind of thing. Like here. Like Becca's house could be plopped down next door to here and it would fit right in." I just looked at her. I had no idea what Becca's dad did, other than 'venture capital,' which I vaguely understood. And only from my own dad, who wasn't a fan. We slowed down drinking and, as always happened, we went from silly to thoughtful. "So, seriously," Chloe said, eyes wide, "she makes you keep it on during sex?" It being the gaff. The drink had loosened my tongue. "Not the whole time... At the beginning." "Ooh, she said, "that has to hurt." It did. "Do you at least get something out of it?" I thought. "I mean, we don't keep it on the whole time. And we do stuff I like too." She said, "They're all the same, aren't they? Just make sure she doesn't leave you hanging, y'know. God, I can't believe her..." I smiled. "She's not that bad. It's not like she rolls over and goes to sleep." I couldn't believe the words as I said them. Chloe giggled a little, then got serious, the words spilling out. "No, that's not it. Although thanks for that visual. I just don't know what's happened to her. She's become this total bitch. We make plans and then she cancels on me. She doesn't listen anymore. Don't get me wrong, she was never a great listener. She just waited to talk. You ever see the outtakes from Pulp Fiction?" She didn't wait for my response and continued. "I saw them with Tom. Anyway, there's this scene where Uma Thurman's character is interviewing John Travolta's with a video camera and she asks him, 'do you listen or wait to talk' and he answers 'wait to talk.' And that's Becca. It was always Becca. But, at least, most times she'd listen and sometimes she'd even listen to me and take my advice. But, ever since Rachel," and she made a sour face, "she's changed. Like she doesn't even care anymore. I fucking hate Rachel. Is she really bad?" It took me a second to realize that she was done. The look on her face was one of wanting validation. I debated what to say. "It's not Rachel." Chloe's eyes widened, "What?" I looked at her. "It's not Rachel. Rachel's fine. She's intense about her project but she's totally fine. I mean, she and Becca talk about work, while Trish and I talk, but she's not a bitch. She listens to you. So, it's not Rachel. It's Becca." She put her hand on my arm. "Oh wow. I didn't know. Is everything going OK with you guys?" I looked at the floor, then Chloe's feet. "I don't know. I was looking forward to this weekend..." "I'm sorry about what happened. I should have told Tom no." "No, that's not it. It's partly it. But I don't know how much of a difference it would have made. Other than Aaron not constantly imagining me naked." Chloe hit me with a pillow. "I'm going to make it up to you. We're going to have a good time this weekend. Right?" She gave me a hug. "Dress buddies for life," and she struck a gang pose, arms crossed over her chest. I laughed and struck the same pose. "Dress buddies for life." She jumped up and said, "Music! We need some music! Some pop. Not that shit they," and I knew who she meant, "listen to!" Then, she started looking around, ""My phone! Where's my phone?" I couldn't help but laugh at the panic on her face. Then, she saw it on the table in the hall. "There we go," and she hit play, Katy Perry's 'California Girls' pumping out. I don't know how long we were dancing around, but neither of us heard the key in the lock. We were too busy dancing and singing to 'Shake it Off,' singing and dancing, in sort of unison, to 'and the haters gonna hate hate hate,' when the music stopped. We turned around and there were Tom and Becca holding grocery bags and staring at us. Tom looked around the room, at the mostly empty pitcher. And the glasses. And the pillows thrown everywhere. And the vase knocked over, but thankfully not broken, although it was teetering at the edge of the table. He righted the vase and said, "this place looks like a fucking pig sty. What the hell happened here?" Chloe said, "You guys just jumped up and left, leaving me and Allie here. So we decided to have our own fun. Don't be such a hater and hate hate hate," she half sang. He looked at me, in my shorts over my bathing suit, and then Chloe. "For fuck's sake Chloe. I'm sorry we left. We weren't planning on being away that long. We passed by a comic book store in town and I went in to see what was there, and you know my mom would have a hemorrhage if she saw this...I texted to see if you wanted anything, but you didn't respond. I bought some steaks for dinner and a bottle of wine, although I think you two," and now he looked at me and shook his head, "should probably hold back." Becca just looked at me, then Chloe, then me. "Is that your red dress?" I nodded, and Chloe started to say, "We're dr..." I shushed her, giggling. "Yeah, Chlo saw it and asked if she could borrow it, and I said sure. What's the big deal?" Tom mumbled, "This is too weird," and picked up the glasses and pitcher and took them to the kitchen. I could hear the sound of the water running. "Hey, Chlo," he said, emphasizing 'Chlo,' "can you start picking up in there? Jon and Courtney will be here soon and I'd like the place to look like adults were here and not two teenagers." Chloe looked at Becca then smiled at me, and got to work picking up. Becca said, "Can we talk in the bedroom?" I looked at her, the effects of the mojitos going down. "I don't know what there is to talk about. She loaned me her dress, so I loaned her mine." She said, "Can we please just go to the bedroom?" I shrugged and said fine. We went into the bedroom and she closed the door. "What the hell is going on? You and my friend are sharing clothes now?" Your friend you care so much about that you left skid marks to get out of here before. Friend. "I don't see what the big deal is, Becca. You guys left and we were upset..." She put her arm around me. "Sorry..." I moved away from her. "And we were upset because we were left here. So we had a couple of drinks and got silly. It's no big deal." "But you look so cute in that dress," she said. "Whatever," I said, stripping down to change back. She put her hands around my waist. "Stop it," I said. She didn't let go. "Seriously?" "Yes, seriously. You left me here for how long? And I think you should talk to Chloe anyway." She looked at me in disbelief and I continued, "she invited us for the weekend. Why don't you go talk to her?" She said, "I imagine Tom is reading her the riot act now. For what you guys did." "We didn't do anything," I said, putting my bathing suit over the shower. I rubbed lotion onto my groin, to try and get rid of the rash. "Want me to do that?" she said, smiling and taking the lotion from me. "But, first, we should definitely clean the area," and she put her mouth on me. She finished and I got dressed. "Thank you," I said, "but you still need to talk to Chloe." She rolled her eyes and walked off. I went downstairs to clean up. It was the least I could do. Becca I actually felt bad. I wasn't sure what I had done. But if Chloe was upset enough that Alex picked up on it, I wanted to make it right. I started walking down the hall and could hear Tom and Chloe. I stopped at the door, feeling like I was trespassing. In the end, I moved on, I could speak to her later. In the living room, I found Alex tidying up. "Hey, bunny, what are you doing?" He looked at me like I was a moron. "I meant, how are you doing?" He'd picked up the vase and the pillows, and was wiping down the table with a rag and some Windex. He was bent over and I kept staring at his ass and legs. "Where did you find all that?" "Under the sink. I feel awful. I don't want Tom to get in trouble, besides it was a pretty rude thing to do. I hope he's not too upset with me." I sat on the floor next to him, watching him wipe down the table. I would have helped clean up but I didn't know. "I don't think so. I think he's just... his mom sounds like a real ball-breaker." "Why were you gone for so long?" He wouldn't look at me. "You just left us here." "You seemed pretty happy when I came back," I tried to joke. "That's not the point. We were all supposed to spend the weekend together and you left with Tom and Aaron," he spat out Aaron's name. "What's wrong with Aaron?" He was kind of boring and full of himself, for someone who was thirty and still a location scout. Alex looked up at me, his eyes looked red. "All he does is stare at my legs. Unless he's staring at my arse. Or my chest." I started to laugh. "What's so funny?" He crossed his arms. "Come on. It's totally funny." I crossed my arms. "It's creepy. I feel disgusting." I smiled. "Sorry. I know it sucks. Every woman knows how much it sucks, and I hate that you have to deal with it." Part of me wished we'd filmed it though. "I didn't mean to laugh. Do you want me to tell him off?" He smiled. "My big strong Becca...forget it. Where the hell were you for so long?" "So first we had to wait for Aaron to get the car. Then, he wanted Tom to show him how to get there, because I guess the GPS on his phone doesn't exist. Then, we were driving through town and Tom wanted to look at comic books..." I could tell he wasn't really listening and didn't really care. I put my arms around him and kissed him on the neck. "It doesn't matter, Bunny. I'm sorry." He turned around and kissed me lightly on the lips. He looked so young and innocent. "I accept. Boy, they're quiet in there." I smiled, "Maybe they're taking a nap...." He laughed, "Well, I hope Chloe positions herself opposite the shower heads." Just then, the doorbell rang. I heard Tom laugh, "Could you get that? We're, uh, talking." Alex rolled his eyes and put down the cleaning rag. I watched him walk to the door, It was a tall, dark haired guy in jeans and a t shirt, and a short red haired woman. She was maybe an inch or two shorter than Alex, wearing a blue cotton dress with a butterfly print. She looked Alex up and down. So did Jon. Clearly, Alex knew him. "Oh, hi, Jon. It's good to see you again." He turned to the woman, "You must be Courtney. Jon told me all about you." He put out his hand, "I'm Alex Liddell, but you can call me Allie." You can call me Allie? Courtney broke out into a huge smile. "Oh, you're THAT Allie. The girl from the jewelry commercial. Jon loves that commercial," and I saw Alex, or was it 'Allie', blush. I walked over and she looked me up and down. And clearly found me and my shorts and t shirt lacking. "Courtney and Jon, this is my girlfriend Becca, Rebecca Scott. Becca, this is Jon Polsky, he works with Tom, and his girlfriend Courtney, but you knew that already." Jon leaned over and gave Allie a kiss. "Sorry about Laser Tag." He turned to me and Courtney, "Poor Allie had to be the prisoner the whole game. And these goombahs from Staten Island kept staring at her. So, where are Tom and Chloe anyway?" Allie and I looked at each other. There was a long pause and then Allie jumped in. "Why don't I take you to one of the guest rooms so you can get changed? When you're done, I'm sure they'll be ready for you," she said, taking them to the other wing. I could hear Courtney asking her about the upcoming movie and laughing. She came back and was picking up her cleaning supplies, when Tom and Chloe came out, with big grins. "Did you two have a nice conversation? It got pretty quiet there," I joked. Chloe looked at Allie and winked. Tom didn't look at me but said, "What were you doing, Alex?" "Cleaning up. I'm sorry Tom. It was very rude of me to make a mess," She said, as I watched Tom's eyes take a walk over Allie's legs. He smiled, "And I'm sorry I yelled. My mom's kind of nuts. Plus, you two were pretty bombed when we came in. I guess I just wasn't expecting it...thanks for cleaning the table though." He gave Allie a kiss on the forehead and then stopped. "Was that Jon and Courtney?" "I sent them to one of the guest rooms. I assume that was OK?" Allie fiddled with her fingers. Chloe smiled, still in Allie's dress but with bare feet, which bothered me. "Thanks, Allie. You're the best," and then she kissed her. And ignored me. "So Tom and I were talking," which got a look from Chloe that she thought I didn't catch. "There's a place in Katonah with live music. We can eat dinner and then go over." Chloe looked at Tom as she talked, "Did you guys see whether Allie have any trouble getting in, since she's y'know underage?" Tom looked at me, then said, "Yes, we checked. Eighteen to get in, but no drinking. Which honestly shouldn't be a problem for you two." They rolled their eyes in response. I thought about pulling Chloe aside to apologize for whatever I did, but she didn't seem to care. So I didn't. Jon came out, tying his tie. "Chloe, Allie, do either of you have a hairbrush Court can borrow? She left hers home." Then, he looked at Tom and me. "Women..." Allie went off and got her brush. Courtney came out. She was wearing a beautiful green slip dress that really set off her eyes, and 3" open toed sandals. I said, "That is a beautiful dress. You look gorgeous." She gave Chloe a quick look and said, "thanks, Becca. I, uh, really appreciate it." Jon was carrying a bag, with what I assumed were the clothes they came up in, and said to Tom, giving him a man hug, with a one hand grip and a shoulder bump, "Thanks, dude. This really helped." "No worries. If you want, we're hanging at Murphy's in Katonah tonight, if you want to come by." Allie had a look on her face that I couldn't quite place. "I'll let you know. We'll play it by ear. Nice meeting you Becca," he said, shaking my hand. "Good seeing you, Allie," he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. After the door closed, Tom said, "So, finally, it's just the four of us," as he went into the kitchen. "Hey, Alex," he said, "come here and help me out, will you?' He looked at us and said, "who's up for horsey di ovaries?" Chloe rolled her eyes at Allie and mumbled, 'he never gets tired of that.' Allie got up to help him, the almost foot difference in height heightening the absurdity of everything. Which left Chloe and I alone together on the couch. She started flicking through her phone. "Hey Chlo," I said. "Hey," she said, not lifting her eyes from the phone. "Um, I'm sorry," I said. She looked at me, "For what?" "Um, I don't know. I mean. Um." I didn't know. "I guess I've been kinda busy and I've been shitty about plans...." "Uh huh." She kept looking at me, with a look that was different. She and I had fought before and made up, but this felt more, I don't know, awkward or something. "Anyway, it's just been crazy busy with work and the project and everything and you know how important you are to me." Back to looking at her phone. "It's fine." "It's not fine," I said. "I shouldn't have done it." She looked at me again. "You're right. You shouldn't have. But that was work. What was today?" It took me a second. "I am sooo sorry. I guess Aaron and I got to talking and he could be a good contact for projects and stuff..." That was clearly the wrong answer. "Hey, Bec," she said, the sarcasm dripping from her voice, "it's OK to not work every once in a while, y'know?" "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means I know you're all important now but we actually had this weekend planned for a while. So the four of us could spend time together. Before, y'know, Allie goes away for two months. But I guess that wasn't important to you. Not as important as Aaron..." "He's not more important," I said, feeling cornered. "You guys are." She started to say something, then stopped. "Y'know what, it's fine. Let's let it go." It wasn't fine. I knew it wasn't fine. And I should have let it go, but I couldn't. "It's not fine." She smirked at me. "It's fine. Allie and I had a great time together. I had no idea how much fun she was. You're lucky." Take a deep breath, I thought. Don't say anything you'll regret. I paused. "You're right. I am lucky. To have her and you. It's really important and I promise to do better. OK?" She smiled, then sighed. "Fine, Bec. We should probably go see what they're doing in there." We got up and went into the kitchen. They had clearly been waiting us out, to see what happened in the living room before coming back in. Which was probably the smart thing to do. I saw Tom unwrapping cheese and fanning crackers out on a tray, while Allie looked for glasses in the cabinet. She was stretching to reach them and I'd swear I'd caught Tom checking out her ass and the way her shirt rode up just a little. I just hoped Allie didn't notice or she'd be mortified. Since Laser Tag, she'd felt awkward enough around Tom. "Hey," I said, moving between Tom and Allie, "let me help you get those." I reached up and took out four glasses. Allie kissed me on the nose and said thanks. Chloe said, "Oh god, haven't you two had enough today?" I felt better. That joke made me feel like maybe I wasn't totally a bitch. Before I could say something, Allie said, "I could ask you two the same thing," which made Chloe giggle. Tom looked a little confused and upset. No, annoyed was a better word. He was definitely annoyed. "Yeah, yeah. Enough you two. Let's go into the living room." Tom poured some wine, giving Chloe and Allie each half a glass 'since I think you've had enough,' to which they both responded, in unison, 'thanks dad,' which was kind of creepy. We sat on the couch and looked out the window at the lake. Allie held up her glass. "To Tom and Chloe. Thank you for inviting us." Tom said, "Our pleasure. Well, my parents' pleasure. Well, they don't know. So you're welcome. I'm glad we're getting this one last weekend together before Alex," and he hit 'Alex' a little hard, "goes off to become a big star." Allie smiled and said, "I promise to completely forget all of you." Which got Chloe to hit her with a pillow. Which led to giggles from both of them. And an eye roll from Tom. Tom said, "Hey Alex, how about we kayak first thing in the morning? Alex's face lit up. He loved the water. My little fish. "Definitely! Thanks!" Tom laughed, "What are you thanking me for? We talked about it. I just hope I don't embarrass myself. Besides, I should be thanking you. I'm sorry the day got away from us." "It's fine," Alex said. "Stuff happens." Which got a look from Chloe to me. Whatever. I apologized. And meant it mostly. Now, it was her problem. Chloe looked at Tom, then me. "When is Aaron coming back?" She and Alex traded looks, which was really starting to piss me off. Tom said, "Later. He'll probably meet us at the bar. He and whoever he's with are getting dinner. Don't worry. No one else is going to be here. Just the four of us. Please." Chloe started to say something and Alex stopped her with a smile. Neither one of them even looked at me. Tom figured it out and said, "So, we'll make dinner in a little while. That work for everyone?" Half an hour later, we were all standing in the kitchen, looking at Tom's phone. Or Tom looking at Tom's phone. He had a test version of his app and we were taking pictures of corn in an effort to give us a recipe. It was failing. Unless you wanted corn salad, in which case it was succeeding beyond our wildest expectations. After three downloads, Alex asked, "Where does your mum keep the spices?" "Why?" Tom had clearly lost interest in the app except as a technical problem. He was now writing down gibberish that I assumed was code. "Because we can grill the corn in a little olive oil, and then add garlic and cayenne. I saw it somewhere. I mean it's not corn salad..." We made dinner. OK, Tom grilled the steaks while Alex prepared the corn and the salad. Chloe turned to me, watching Alex the whole time. "So are you going to starve the whole time Allie's away?" Was there an edge to her voice? "I'm not totally incapable," I snapped. "I got through film school. And undergrad." "Sorry, Bec. I was just teasing." She looked at Allie then Tom then Allie again. "Sometimes I forget." "Well, sorry, I snapped. I'm just going to miss him while he's away." I was. I hadn't really thought about it before but I was. We had been together for nine months and, since we started the project, I had really become close to him. He was coming into his own and I wanted to be there. Tom and Alex finished dinner. As we sat, Alex took a bite and smiled, almost purring, "Oh, this is delicious." Tom laughed, "Calm down, d.." He almost said dude, but stopped. "It's just steak." "Yeah, well, I'm going to be eating craft services for the next two months and probably not much of that. Besides, take the compliment, arsehole," he smiled. Alex I woke up around 8:30 am. I looked over at Becca who was breathing gently but audibly. She and everyone except for Tom and me - he was driving and I was underage - had more than enough to drink and they'd be out for a good long while. I went to the kitchen to make coffee. "Hey, uh, Alex," Tom said. I jumped and he said, "I didn't mean to startle you." "It's fine. I didn't expect anyone else to be up." He looked at me. "I said we'd kayak at 9." "I know. I just figured that you'd be tired..." He cut me off, smiling. "I said we would. Let's have coffee. The sooner we get to it, the more time we'll have." We drank our coffee silently, mentioning only the weather. We walked down to the boathouse, feeling the dewy grass between our toes. It felt different than the marsh grass at home, but still it brought back memories. Of feeling free. And strong. We went into the boathouse. I saw the canoe on the wall, covered in cobwebs and dust. I couldn't imagine having access to the water and using it so infrequently that my canoe was dusty. The two kayaks were resting on sawhorses. "Cool," Tom said, "my dad must have taken them out." "Thank him for me. And thank you," I said. He scoffed and I said, "no seriously. I can't remember the last time I got to do this. And this is the best way to go off for two months." I was smiling but Tom looked away, mumbling about finding the paddles. He threw me a life vest, "put this on." I started fumbling with the straps, trying to get them over my chest. "Dammit. I don't know what the problem is. I've never had this problem before." Which was exactly the wrong thing to say. Tom snickered and threw me another vest. "Try this one." "Pink? Did you buy this especially for me?" "It's my sister's," he laughed. "We may have her old Ariel one..." "Fuck off, arsehole," I grumbled, even more so after it fit. "Just grab your kayak and take it down to the water." I lifted it over my head and could feel my shirt riding up. Tom was watching me from the shore and came up, not quite making eye contact. He grabbed the front end and faced forward. We launched the kayaks into the water and started paddling. I always loved the rhythmic nature of kayaking- left, then right, then left. No matter what, if you did it the right way, you went forward. The water was calm and no one else was out. After a while, I stopped and let the morning sun hit my face and I leaned back a little, not so much that I'd capsize. Tom pulled alongside me and said, "Thanks. I can't remember the last time I did this." I laughed, "I can't imagine being able to do this and not. Please tell me that you at least used to do this." He laughed and said, "don't make me feel like shit." We kayaked for a good 15-20 minutes when he said, "We need to talk." I got worried. I didn't know what I had done. I racked my brain wondering. All I could come up with was, "Sorry about yesterday afternoon." He looked at me and said, "what happened last night?" "Huh? What do you mean? Shouldn't you be asking everyone else?" Aaron got so drunk that Tom and Jon had to take him out, and Courtney and Becca started doing karaoke. With the band. Which didn't appreciate it. "That's not what I mean." "What do you mean?" I really had no idea. "You and Chloe." "What about us? We were just dancing." That's all we were doing. I couldn't drink and she had only one saying, with a laugh, 'I can't believe I drank so early. Rookie mistake.' "That's it," he said, looking at me. "Excuse me?" "You don't get it, do you?" "What's it?" I was getting upset and suddenly feeling awkward in my pink vest. If it wasn't unsafe, I would have thrown it overboard. "I was just dancing." "I know but it's the way you were dancing. Guys were...looking at you. The way you were moving..." Now I really wanted to throw the vest...and myself...overboard. All I could say was, "Chloe was dancing the same way." He said, "I know. But it was, I don't know, different. Guys were looking at her too, but different than you. And the way you were dressed..." I yelled, "Yeah? Whose fault is that? I didn't invite Aaron and everyone! And now it's my fault? Fuck you! I should've canceled once I knew everyone else was coming!" And I started paddling away. I was a strong kayaker but Tom outmuscled me and pulled up alongside me, "please stop Allie. That's not what I mean." I stared at him and he continued, " I just...I don't think you realize...you were moving...and that guy came over." "And we moved away! What is it you want?" Before he could say anything, I paddled towards the shore while he yelled, "Allie, come on...please." I pulled onto the shore and was pulling my kayak out, when Tom came up and got out of his kayak. "Leave me alone, Tom! I just want to go inside and get changed. Then, I'll get a cab to the train!" "Alex, stop, please. I'm sorry but I really don't think you get it." "Get what? " "How you look. How you move. You don't get it." I looked at him, "I don't get it? You don't get it! Fuck you!" and I stormed off. Quietly. Because everyone was still sleeping. I was standing in the kitchen trying not to cry when I felt a tap. It was Chloe, "You know you don't need a vest on dry land." I became acutely aware of my pink vest and all but tore it off. "Not funny." "What happened?" "Nothing. Nothing happened," I said, staring at my feet. "I just want to go home." "Where's Tom?" I could feel the tears coming and she pulled me into a hug. "It's ok, Allie. What happened? You were looking forward to kayaking and so was he. Next thing I know, he's outside and you're here crying. So what happened?" I thought for a second, about what to say. I really debated saying nothing and just getting the train, but she didn't do anything. Except date Tom and be friends with Becca. Which was feeling like enough. "He got all weird. Got on me about us dancing, about how I was dressed." I had been dressed in my short skirt and a t shirt, when Chloe loaned me a tank top, saying 'this goes so much better,' with my skirt and 2 1/2" heels. "That's fucked up! No. That is not acceptable." "I told you he's been weird since laser tag. Maybe the break will do us good. I'm going to see if Becca's up. Either way, I'll get a cab to the train." "It's a Sunday schedule. I'll drive you." "Don't be stupid. You have guests." She smirked. "I had two guests. And one leech. And Jon and Courtney." They had shown up at the bar after the wedding and then just crashed afterwards. "You matter. They don't." "Thanks but I'll be fine. I could use the alone time." Then, she went outside. I stood in the kitchen, paralyzed. I didn't want to stay, but if I went to pack, I'd have to wake up Becca and deal with her. I was there for I don't know how long when Chloe came back. "Tom would like to talk to you." "I have nothing to say." Which sounded petulant as it came out. "Allie, please. For me." I shook my head. "Come on. I have to drive back with the three of them," she smiled. I sighed. "I'll come with you." We went outside and Tom was sitting on the deck. "Yeah?" I said, trying to sound tough. He stood up. "Chloe, could you leave me and Alex alone?" She looked at me and I nodded. She left us, saying to me that she'd be inside if I needed her. I stood there, looking up at him, never as aware of the height differential as I was now. "What do you want?" He looked at me. "I care about you. And I want you to be safe. And I'm sorry if what I said hurt you. But, I meant it because I care. Please promise me that you'll be careful, especially in situations like last night. You need to...pay more attention." I didn't know what he meant but didn't want to fight anymore. "Whatever. Fine." He looked me in the eyes. "Don't whatever me, Allie. You don't have to agree with me, just think about it. And think about how you would have thought about it." Alex Becca dropped me at JFK. To be honest, I was glad she had to leave me at security, she'd been very clingy. She'd sat on the bed watching me pack and everytime I'd passed close to her, she'd tried to lift up my skirt and initiate something. Before she left me, she tried to pull me close to her. I pushed her back. "Don't grab my arse in public." I whispered, looking around hoping none of the crew were there to see. "You didn't complain at home." She grinned, speaking clearly. "That was at home." I kissed her. "I've got to get going." She pulled me back, I sighed and let her kiss me back. It was going to be a few weeks before we saw each other again. I hurried away. At one point I looked back and saw her watching. I smiled and give her a little wave. Through check in and security, I made my way to the waiting area. I looked at the board. My flight to Chicago hadn't yet been assigned a gate. So I went to the bookstore to wander. I'd already downloaded several books and audiobooks to my Kindle so I was just there to kill time. Not really thinking, I was browsing the latest April Daniels when I saw him. Jacob, the arse, with one of the ADs. When had they become friends, during rehearsals? I tried to push down the jealousy. What if they saw me? I ducked down behind a display of the latest summer blockbusters. Slowly I looked around the corner. They had gone, I breathed a sigh of relief. I fingered the star pin, wondering how much footage I was actually going to get - or wanted to get. I set it to run just in case. "Hey Alyx, going my way?" I jumped, nearly knocking over the book display. I caught the one book that slipped off. "Urm hi, Jacob." I tried to regain my dignity in the face of his shit eating grin. "Looking for something to read?" I realised I still had a book in my hand. Shit, Dan Brown. "Yeah, well, waste some time anyway." I tossed the book onto the nearest shelf. He did that thing where he brushed his hair out of his eyes. Damn his eyes, did he tease out his eyelashes to make them that long? "Cool. We're going for coffee, want to join us?" He nodded back to the AD who was outside the shop with another guy I guessed was also crew. No, was the first answer that came to me. But then I thought I'd only be isolating myself. "Sure. Thanks." The Starbucks looked like all Starbucks do. They sold coffee and didn't pay tax outside of Luxembourg. I blushed as I had to explain how to spell my 'name' to the guy who served me. Jacob watched me as I did and I wondered if he suspected anything. We took our drinks to a small table near to one of the electronic boards and waited. "So what do you make of Frankie?" The AD seemed keen to ask Jacob his opinion. He didn't look at me. At least not above my legs. We'd only just sat down. "Man, Frankie is screwed." It went on like that for a while. From what I could make out Frankie was another member of the crew who'd fallen out with his girlfriend. "What happens on location stays on location." The AD closed the conversation, the others nodded like he'd said something sage and full of the deepest wisdom. Fucking bloke Gandalf. I noticed he was looking at me with more interest this time. It took me a few minutes to realise my legs were sticking out. I was wearing the standard Alyx ensemble, short skirt, leggings, baggy t-shirt and hoodie. I moved my legs under the table and folded my arms over my torso. "So, everyone excited?" I was and wanted them to share this. The AD rolled his eyes. "Newbie?" "Um, yes." I shuffled in my seat, the extra padding around my bum insulating me against the cold plastic. The AD spoke to the others, not me. "They always start off like that." I wanted to punch him. Jacob was the only one who didn't laugh. They kept talking and I zoned out. I was looking towards the Jamba Juice on the other side of the food court when I saw them. Noah and his mother. Noah had seen us and kept giving our table furtive little looks. I felt bad for him. Trapped between his mother and a desire to join us. I gave him a little wave and he smiled, before turning back to his mum. "Is that your little boyfriend?" Jacob leaned into me. "He's more man than you." My guess was that about a third of the seats on the plane were taken up by members of our production. You could tell most of the older members of the crew had been in the bar. As soon as the seatbelts-on lights went off, they all got up to go the toilet. At least I'd been given a window seat so I didn't have to get up. The actors and 'senior' production staff were all in first class. Although on a small flight that just meant a curtain separating us from the great unwashed, slightly more leg space and a flight attendant who didn't have to run off every couple of minutes. With the two seats next to me vacated by production managers who'd hit the premium lager too hard, I could see Noah across the aisle. He was playing a computer game while trying to ignore his mother hitting on the guy next to them. I didn't know who the guy was, but I'd seen him hanging around Razor and assumed he had something to do with the money behind the film. "Hey, what're you playing?" He held up something that looked like my old DS, but obviously wasn't. It had way better graphics. "Cool, wanna come keep me company?" I could see one of the guys who'd been sat next to me during take-off. He was leaning against a chair talking to some other exec types and drinking wine. I doubted he'd be back soon. Noah looked at his mother and shrugged. "Sure." He wouldn't look at me as he sat down but I caught a smile passing across his face. "What is that?" "Nintendo Switch," he said, as if I were an idiot. "You can play it like this or plug it in." Becca I had just come back from the Baumbach shoot when Louise's assistant came over. It had been an early day which was good. I could get up and pretend Allie was still sleeping. "Becca, do you have a second for Louise?" Jordan looked at me, "Oooh, you're in trouble. Been nice working with you." Dick. I went into Louise's office and felt underdressed, in my puffer vest and long sleeved t shirt. She smiled, "Sit down, Becca." I plumbed my brain, trying to figure out what I could've done wrong. I went over the shoot, minute by minute, and couldn't think of anything. The second unit director didn't acknowledge me so I couldn't have pissed him off. She looked at me, "Thank you for coming last week." Huh? "Thank you for having us. You have a beautiful apartment. I love your photography collection. The Mann was spectacular." She looked at me and smiled. "I thought you'd like it. Oh, and Alyx is absolutely charming. And adorable. I can see why Mark loves her so much." "Thank you. She couldn't stop talking about the party." Complaining mostly. "It was great meeting everyone. I had a great conversation with James Briggs, from the mayor's film office, about inclusion riders. Do you think we can swing incentives if we include them on productions?" Louise smiled. A cryptic smile. "I mean, I think it's a good thing regardless, but he was talking about incentives..." She sat there silently for a minute. "So, are you still trying to figure out why you're here?" OK, Becca. Think before you answer this. She knows that you're wondering. And you know that she knows. But does she want you to act like you wonder? "Well, it crossed my mind..." She laughed. "Not a bad answer. I brought you in here because James told me what a great conversation you and he had. He was impressed at the questions you asked. As were Rob Grossman and Richard Foster. Now. I have some questions. Are you happy here?" "Of course," I said, suddenly feeling very nervous. And trying not to sweat, like in the old ad tag line. "What do you think your greatest strengths are?" She crossed her fingers together. All that was missing was the white cat. I always hated this question. This and 'what's your biggest weakness?' Like you're going to say that you're incredibly lazy or hate getting up. Or worse, 'I care too much.' I hate humble-bragging. I decided to go with what I thought. She brought me here, she's expecting honesty, sort of. "I'm smart. I work very hard. I think I get along with people." She laughed. "You do..." "Oh, and I'm creative." She kept laughing. "You left off 'and I'm beautiful.'" I decided to go for broke. "Well, you know, sometimes that's a curse." She laughed, then paused. "I think you're smart. You're an extremely hard worker. Rachel, Wick," the Baumbach second unit director, "everyone has said that. You showed me Saturday how well you get along with people. Quite frankly, I've had other junior people at these things and they've hidden in corners. You passed with flying colors." OK, Louise, still wondering why I'm here. "Thank you." I tried not to make it sound like a question. "You're welcome. And thank you. I'm extremely pleased with you. And Alyx. I'm sorry she's going to be away for two months..." "Me too." I blurted out. "Anyway, so what is your long-term plan? Who do you want to be?" "Kathryn Bigelow. Patty Jenkins. Ryan Coogler. Someone like that." She smiled, that cryptic smile that was really getting to me now. "All excellent choices. Can I offer my opinion?" I nodded, like I had a choice. "I don't see that." "Why not?" She said, "I'm going to be frank. I watched your film school reel. And I've seen your work with Rachel. You're a solid creative. If you continue working hard, you could be a very good AD. But, I don't see you toplining a movie like that." "Um..." She looked at me. "I didn't bring you in here to tell you that." I breathed a sigh. Of relief? Aggravation? Nerves? Or just because I hadn't breathed out in a long time. "And, quite frankly, that's not who you want to be." "Patty Jenkins directed the biggest movie of the year. And Kathryn Bigelow won an Oscar. Who wouldn't want to be them?" "Patty Jenkins directed 'Monster' as well. Have you ever seen it?" I said no and she continued. "Charlize Theron won an Oscar for it. In 2003. Do you know what film she directed next?" Before I could say anything, she said, "Wonder Woman. And Kathryn Bigelow? Won an Academy Award in 2009 and has directed two movies since. Highly acclaimed movies, but still. And do you know why that it is?" I paused, going back and forth in my mind as to what to say. I knew what my answer was but didn't know whether to say it. She looked at me and smiled. "Say what you're thinking, Rebecca." "Because they're women." "Exactly." "And I want to change that. And I can change that." "How?" Again, she took a sip of water and then made her fingers into a pyramid again. "By being heard. By doing good work." "Rachel does good work. Better than Mark." Ouch. True but still. "Which is why you're here. The way you change things is by being inside the system. Women directors don't have a seat at the table because women producers don't. Not enough anyway." "I agree with that. One hundred percent." "Good. That's why you're here. I watched you at the party. You're comfortable with the people there, in a way most creatives aren't. And you can do your best work like that." "I don't follow," I said, suddenly acutely aware of a stray thread on my shirt. "I think you should be on the producing side. I think you have the potential to be a great producer. And that will give you the power to make a change." "Wow, thanks." I tried not to stutter. "I appreciate your confidence but..." She looked at some papers on her desk, and then me. "If you want to stay on a crew, I won't stop you. But I will be disappointed. I think you have real talents that aren't being put to use. Still, take some time and think about it." "I will." I left feeling a strange mix of nausea and elation. Louise noticed me and thought I was great. At producing. But not directing. I wanted to direct. That's what I went to film school for. Jacob That girl, Allie, was hanging around the waiting area. I glanced over at her. The costume woman was finishing off dressing her. A plaid shirt, Nirvana t-shirt, baggy ripped jeans. They were making it clear this was set in the 90s. She looked over at me and scowled slightly. Like she was trying to figure me out, like why was I even here. I felt the same way, then decided she was just a stuck up British bitch. We were in a northern suburb of Chicago. Working late to get the outside shots for the party scene. The house was a big suburban one, straight out of a John Hughes movie. Red brick, garage on the side, hoop in the driveway, flag out front during the day. Everything was surrounded by giant lights. "OK," one of the director's assistants, Jane, came over to me, "We're going again". She had short red hair and dressed really cool. "OK, everyone get in place." Then she strode off to corral the extras into place. I moved next to Allie who hardly acknowledged my presence. Great, just my luck. My first movie and I get stuck with this brat. "You know your lines?" I tried to make conversation. "Of course." I was always taken aback when she spoke in her normal Brit accent. I'd gotten used to hearing her doing a mid-western one. At least she was good at that. "Have you?" Real mature. Jane was looking at us, then she looked away to talk to one of the soundmen. I tried not to stare. Razor came out of back. He spoke to Jane, who seemed to pay a lot of attention to his words, then he came over to us. "OK kids," I hated him, "You know what you're doing?" We looked at each other and nodded. "Allie, those guys have been hassling you. You're pissed at your mother and, as a result, got hammered on Milwaukee's Beast. Then this stud," they both looked at me. I wished I could crawl under one of the trucks and hide,"comes and saves you." "How do I feel about him?" Allie kept looking at me. Again I worried that she'd seen right through me. "He's gorgeous, the class hunk and you can't believe he's into you, a nobody." She nodded, watching him closely as he spoke. I hated the way the girls did that. Like he was some big deal, not just some overrated ad director. "And what do I think about her?" Razor shrugged. "You don't. She's a geek. But you're a guy and she's a girl, so..." He slapped me on the shoulder, "You know what I mean." That fucking hurt. We went through the scene and OK, I had to admit it, she was good. For who she was. Hell, the way she looked up at me with those big blue eyes, I could have fallen for her. If I hadn't known she was just a kid. The scene finished and Razor came over. "Great, great. That was just great." He put an arm around her, then moved his hand to her waist. "I want to try it again, just this time can you stand closer to him. Lean towards him a little. Remember you're drunk, and he's really cute." Then he punched me on the arm. "Don't get a big head, boy band. She's drunk." He walked off laughing. I hated the way she was grinning at me. This went on for a while. By midnight, we'd wrapped for the day. Razor and the crew seemed happy. As I was changing, Jane came over. "Hey." I hadn't seen her nervous before. "Hey." I replied, feeling like an idiot for not having anything better to say. "Since we're starting late tomorrow, a bunch of us are heading out for drinks...if you're interested." I could see her red hair reflected in the bright lights. Vibrant against the greys and black of the night. "Sure," I smiled. This was perfect. It was the riding school tomorrow. I only had one short shot, and that was later in the day. "How are we getting there?" Jane was just about to speak when Razor appeared. "Hey, couldn't help overhear but Jacob here is twenty. And we don't need him to get busted going in. Sorry, bud," he smirked. "But, I've got..." I trailed off, not certain of the wisdom of admitting to having fake ID. Razor put an arm around Jane. "Don't worry. We'll get everyone together for a big meal soon." Jane looked at me sympathetically, but there was nothing she could do. As Razor started to lead her away he spoke to me. "You should go over your lines with Allie. Back at the motel." They had arranged a taxi to take us back. "That went well," Allie looked at me nervously. "At least I thought so." "Huh, yeah." I kept looking out of the window. Watching the lights of the different suburban houses as they passed by. Each a little universe unto itself. I thought about home, and how alike it was. Simple irony, I'd run away and joined the circus only to find myself back where I started. "Is my American accent any good? I-I, it's hard for me to tell." "Sure, just great, Mary Poppins." Then I turned and looked at her. I felt bad, she looked hurt. After all, it was her first movie. "You're good. I'm from Reno and I couldn't tell." She smiled at me. -------------- People don't realize that movie acting is mostly waiting. Waiting for the crew to set up. Waiting for the lead to come out of her trailer. Waiting out the weather, when you're shooting outdoors. I shouldn't have come to the set that next day. I could've stayed at the motel and rehearsed my lines. Or watched TV. Or masturbated. But, I didn't. I wanted to watch the scenes. The night before, Allie had asked me to run lines with her and so I wanted to see how she did. Today was her first big scene, the one where she meets Noah. They had each decided to run lines away from the other, so as 'not to spoil the immediacy of the moment.' They were funny together. One minute, she was giving him wet willies or kicking a soccer ball. The next, they were doing Meisner exercises together and talking about the 'immediacy of the moment.' I was already pissed that Razor had called me out on being 20. Dick. Then, while I was standing by craft services, I saw Jane kissing Scott, one of the key grips. She came over and said, with a big smile, "Hey Jacob! How's it going? I am so out of it from last night. You didn't miss much anyway. Sports and bro talk and shit. How about you? How's it going with you?" How's it going? How's it going?! "What just happened?" She looked confused. "What just happened what?" I wanted to scream, but I took a deep breath. "You. And Scott." She smiled, which was not what I expected. I expected her to apologize. Or look embarrassed. Or even tell me off. Not smile though. "We hooked up last night. At the bar." Oh. Is that all? You hooked up. At the bar. Thanks for that last detail. "Um, I thought that you and I...." She put her hand on my shoulder, which made me feel about three feet tall. "Look, Jacob, I like you. But, I mean, you're 20..." "And what are you? 22?" She smiled, a pitying smile, which made me want to throw up. "I'm 24, sweetie." Sweetie. Why not just call me 'champ' or 'slugger'? "And, look, you are a good looking guy. And you will hook up a lot in your life. And I'm probably going to regret not hooking up with you when you become a big star..." "Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because it doesn't," I snapped. She fixed a gaze on me. "I am sorry if I gave off signals. And, if you were older, I would be incredibly into you. But you're not. I hope that we can be friends." I looked at the ground. It was easier than looking at her. "Whatever. It's just a movie set." "Jacob, come on. Don't be that way." I looked at her. Suddenly, her red hair looked kind of dull. Less autumn leaves. More penny on the street. "I'm not any way," I mumbled. "I'm going to get someth