Alyx In Wonderland Chapter 5 free porn video

Thank you to everyone who has left comments for previous chapters. Your support mean a lot to us. If you feel too shy to leave a comment, or have questions you'd like to ask, or maybe you want to tell us about your own work. Any of the above you can contact us here: [email protected] Now for this week's episode... Chapter 5 Becca Seven hours on a flight with Louise. My dream and my worst nightmare rolled into one. I'd spent hours the night before deciding on the right outfit. I tried calling Chloe but it went to voicemail. I got a text from her later saying she was out with Tom. It'd never stopped her before. After making some small talk with Louise, I put my earbuds in. I could never sleep on flights so I was going to use the time to listen to the audio version of the book Louise wanted the film rights to. 'Danelaw' by some English writer called Kelly Cooper. Closing my eyes, I thought how sad Allie had been when I told her about the trip. I guess she was homesick. London Heathrow Airport was a blur and the taxi ride felt like a dream. A roomy cab and a driver who knew where he was going, unlike home. Plus all the cars, the signs, the houses. Everything the same as us but different. Like a world on the other side of the mirror. The hotel felt more grounded. Apart from everyone talking like Allie, it was your standard business hotel. It could be anywhere, this one just happened to be somewhere in central London. When I was here last, we'd stayed in Mayfair. We were in Louise's room. Which was much bigger than mine. "According to the agent, this Kelly Cooper lives in someplace called Walt-ham-stow. Do you know it?" Louise sat down on the bed. One of the reasons she'd brought me was that she assumed, with having an English girlfriend, that I was an expert on the city. "I think it's pronounced Walthamstow. Allie says it's trendy but kind of far out. I emailed the agent and she suggested a restaurant nearby." We were near the Southbank. Last time I was here, my dad had meetings in the City so we walked along the river and went on the Eye. Touristy as hell, but fun. "It's not far." "Perfect, when are we meeting them?" She fell back on the bed. "In about four hours." "Wake me in two." Louise closed her eyes and I left. Although smaller, my room was comfortable, and high up enough that I had a great view over the city. To the east, I could see all the new skyscrapers - the Gherkin and the Shard and all that. Not as tall as home, but definitely architecturally more interesting. To the west, I could see St. Paul's and, since it was a clear day, Big Ben. I remembered the first time we came, we were oohing and aahing over all the old buildings and the driver laughed and said, 'we have a lot of old buildings here.' I was too amped about the meeting to sleep so I put on the TV. You could get all the big American news channels but I settled on the BBC, figuring I should know what was going on here, in case anyone asked. It looked like American TV, with all the same graphics, but the world was completely different from the US. There was some protest going on. The talking heads dressed better and certainly shouted less, but you could tell they'd rehearsed their soundbites in just the same way. Then there was an interview with the Mayor of London, whose name I couldn't remember. Apparently, the president had texted something bad about him. Inwardly I cringed. The hotel was near London Bridge subway station. You could see the Shard from the street. Looking up at it gave me vertigo. I spotted a group of girls, mid teens, coming out of the station. One of them had long, golden hair. She turned and I caught a glimpse of her smiling face. For a moment, I imagined she was a teenage Allie, down from Cambridge. The restaurant wasn't far from a foodie market. It was only 6pm local time but the streets were already filling up. White collar workers heading home jostled with partygoers heading out for drinks. Inside was a mixture of old world pub and modern design sensibilities. The agent, a fellow American, greeted us. "Hi. Rich Dale." He shook our hands. "Kelly's running a little late. What are we all drinking?" While Louise and the agent looked at the wine list, I scanned the room. The people looked pretty much the same as you'd see in New York. A mixture of trendy and wealthy. I tried to imagine a young Alex here, a couple of years older than the girls outside the station. I recognised Kelly as soon as I saw her. Not that I'd seen more than a black and white photo and a few small shots of her as part of a panel at the Hay-on-Wye Book Festival. It was more the way she carried herself. I didn't know what it was. "Rich!" She embraced her agent, kissing him on each cheek. Her long brown hair was tied in a French braid. Her bangs helped frame her eyes. I wanted to ask what mascara she used, so I could get some for Allie. Louise got up. I'd rarely seen her looking nervous. I could almost hear her thoughts, going over our sales pitch. The agent introduced us to her and she smiled. "Surrounded by Americans. Should I be worried?" When it was my turn she took my hand. I could feel her hand lotion on my skin. Suddenly I felt oafish and clumsy against her delicate features. Her face was pale, almost like she was wearing a porcelain mask, although it lit up when she smiled. "Pleased to meet you, Rebecca." That accent. Even Allie didn't sound as good. "Erm, yeah. Hi." They were all looking at me. "I mean, pleased to meet you as well. Sorry, I'm a big fan." Kelly laughed. As the agent showed Kelly the wine list, Louise leaned into me. "Nice, but don't go overboard." While we were waiting for our food to arrive, the waitress put down olives, bread and various dips. Kelly, who was clearly hungry, leant over the table and grabbed the balsamic vinegar. She nearly knocked over her agent's drink. They both burst into laughter, they were clearly friends. The talk turned to the publishing industry. Louise did a good job of looking fascinated as Kelly talked about her latest project. I tried dipping bread in the olive oil and eating it. I'd over dipped and some of the oil dripped on my dress. To my embarrassment, Kelly noticed. Thankfully she just smiled and passed me a napkin. As I dabbed up the mess, I couldn't help but notice how cool and sophisticated she looked. She was wearing a simple black sheath dress, and looked like she belonged here - or anywhere. I had put on my best dress, a purple one someone said looked good with my eyes, but compared to her, I felt like a lump. Back at the hotel I took my phone out. I held it in my hand and tried to think what to text. Nothing came to mind. By now my head was a fog of tiredness. I'd texted her as I got off the plane, I could leave it till the morning. Alex "Look, this wasn't my idea," Jacob shrugged. Once again, Razor had taken the cast and crew out to a bar, leaving Jacob and me to fend for ourselves. To add insult to injury, Noah's mom came to me and asked, "you don't mind watching Noah, do you? I could use some adult time." Then she winked at me. Like I was the bloody babysitter. Sod that. If I were a babysitter, I'd get paid. The sole saving grace was that the production coordinator gave us access to a car, so we could go to the mall 25 miles away. "I'm not mad at you," I said, getting my purse from the trailer. "I'm just, I don't know..." He smiled. I hated when he smiled. It made his eyes brighter. And bluer. "Thrill's worn off, huh?" "Come again?" I said. He smirked. "You were so excited to be going on your first movie set. Here it is." Good. Now I could hate him again. "Let's go find the kid." We went to the school trailer. As a minor, he had to be in school three hours a day, and he had homework. We found him there - alone - reading a science textbook, his head in his hands. "Did they just leave you alone here?" I asked. Noah looked at me like I was a moron. "You're surprised? Have you met my mom?" Jacob looked at me, making me feel uncomfortable. How did I end up the bitch? "Sorry, Noah. I guess...I was just...anyway, sorry." "It's OK, Allie. I just hate science and Ms. Mack," his tutor, "said I'm having a quiz on photosynthesis day after tomorrow. And we have a big shooting day tomorrow, so I figured I should try and get some stuff done now." That was surprisingly mature, more mature than I would have been. "Do you know anything about it?" "Erm..." We had studied, or more accurately my class had studied, it the year I was sick, so I had a giant plant sized hole in my knowledge. Jacob said, "I know something. What's up?" He sat down next to him, and they started talking about chlorophyll and stuff. After twenty minutes, Jacob said, "So what do you think, Noah? Think you got it? We can talk more in the car if you want, but we have a night off, so let's use it." We all piled into the coordinator 's Honda sedan and headed off. Jacob took out his phone and put on some god awful hip hop. "Don't you have anything else?" Jacob said, "driver decides. Everyone knows that." Noah piped in from the backseat, "Everyone knows that, Allie." Jacob reached back and they bumped knuckles. "Excuse me, but I thought we were friends." I crossed my arms. "We are," he said, "but he's driving and Brock Hampton is bangin'." Jacob laughed. "First off, little white boys should not say bangin," I feebly protested. "Second, the language is atrocious." Jacob looked at Noah in the rearview mirror. "Clearly, someone's not used to being on set." Which got a giggle from Noah. "Fine." I looked out the window. "Whatever. Ganging up on me like that." Noah leaned forward and touched me on the shoulder. "Sorry Allie. We're just teasing." I smiled. "It's fine Noah. I know. If you two want to listen to these," and I put on my poshest accent, the sort you heard nowhere outside bad soaps only Americans liked. "dope flows and phat beats, I certainly won't stop you." We laughed for the rest of the ride, Jacob quizzing Noah on biology over the music. We got to the mall and looked at the map. I said, "I need to pick up some makeup. Who wants to come with me?" They looked at each other. "You're missing out on fun, let me tell you." Noah pointed. "Hey look, Athletes Foot. I want to see if they have the new Jordans." Jacob smiled and said, "Can't let the kid go off on his own, can I? How about we meet by Game Stop in half an hour? That enough time?" "Plenty," I said. "Here's my mobile. Ring me if you need me." I watched them walk off, laughing and talking. I went into the department store towards the makeup department when I was hit by the perfume sniper. "Would you like to try Miss Dior?" "Thank you, no. I usually wear Coco Mademoiselle." I paused, had I really said that? "Why not? Let me smell it." She sprayed some on my wrist. "That's pretty," I said. She smiled, the smile of the sniper who hit her target. "You get a 20 percent coupon for use in store too." Well, now I was practically saving money. So I bought a small bottle, and she let me dab some behind my ears. With my coupon in hand, I walked around the store, buying makeup and looking at clothes. I saw a pretty dress, a navy blue mini with small polka dots. I couldn't decide so I texted Chloe a picture from the dressing room. C: 'Hey, Allie! Cute! Where r you?' Me: 'Mall in middle of nowhere. Nite off. Can't go out to bar :-(' C: 'Poor Allie :-(. Def buy dress tho :-). I get to borrow it when u r back:-)" Me: ':-). Dress buddies 4 life :-). Will call after I pay.' I paid for the dress and had ten minutes before I had to meet Jacob and Noah, so I called her on the way. She picked up on the second ring. "Hey, it's the big star." I felt my cheeks burn red, which must've looked ridiculous. I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror. I was wearing a baby blue sweater over a black dress, and a pair of black flats with a bow on the toes. And no stockings. "Hey Chlo. What's up? How's Tom?" She laughed. "He's good. Says hi. Likes the dress too." I gasped and she said, "I'm kidding. So what are you, wandering alone?" "No, no. I'm going to meet Jacob and Noah. The kids' club. Everyone else is at a bar, and well..." "That sucks big time. Why do you have Noah? Where's his mom?" "God only knows, poor kid. He and Jacob left skids when I told them I needed makeup. So, have you seen Becca since I left?" "Couple of times. Last time was a week and a half ago." Her tone was somewhere between upset and apathetic. "Sorry, I didn't mean..." "I know. I don't want to talk about her. Tell me about the set. Tell me some gossip." I laughed. "You can't repeat this to anyone." She went oooh and I laughed then said, in a low voice, "I'm pretty sure Razor is shagging Sadie." "Seriously? Gross. Why?" "Why what?" "Why do you think that and why would she?" "Just a feeling. I mean they're just always talking and going over lines and stuff. And, to answer these second, boredom, something to do." "Or someone. What about you? Are you bored?" "Stop it," I hissed. "I'm not that bored. And besides maybe you forgot..." "I wouldn't tell Becca." I wasn't even thinking about her. "Um, it would be complicated, remember?" "Oh yeah." Then she laughed. "If you could, would you?" "I can't, so it's moot." Chloe giggled. "So you would if you could. Who is it?" I started laughing. "No one. There is no one." "I don't believe you for a second, Allie Liddell. You just bought that cute dress because. So, how's Jacob? Still an ass?" "Still smug. But getting better. He was very nice to Noah today, I'll give him that." "That's good." "I see them ahead. I'll call later." "Go get to your date," she laughed. "Goodbye and fuck off." "Love you Allie," she said, making kissing noises. "Love you too, you child." I walked over to the guys, who were playing FIFA on the Xbox. "I have next." "Do you know how to play?" Noah said, smiling. "So exactly at how many games shall I kick your arse, little boy? And need I remind you that you're playing football, proper football, which is ours?" Jacob laughed. "We're playing Real Madrid vs Juventus." "Whatever. Still ours, not yours." Noah got the next goal and I took over. "Now prepare to be destroyed, wisearse." While Noah and I played, Jacob stood over my shoulder. I could feel his breath on my neck, his presence behind me. "Hey, Noah, she's pretty good." Noah grumbled. "I'm impressed Allie." I smiled. "You seem surprised." Jacob moved in closer. I heard him sniff. "I'm not. I mean I am. I didn't have you down for a gamer girl." "Why not?" I asked, as Noah's goalie saved my shot and threw it back into my half. "Dammit." My midfielder took the ball back. I was never any good on the real pitch even before I got sick. My dad had bought me FIFA for my old Xbox and we'd play for hours, Arsenal (me) vs Spurs (him). "No reason. I guess I just...Hey Noah do you have this on the XBox in your room?" I scored a goal "Some people are on the pitch. They think it's all over. It is now!" Noah looked at me. "Get over it Allie. It's a game. No, I don't have it." Jacob intervened. "Good. I'm buying it. We can have a tournament. If they're going to leave us alone all the time, we should at least do something, right?" I smiled. "Right. We'll go halfsies on it." Noah thanked us profusely and said we could start after his test. It felt good seeing him so happy. We bought the game and went to look for something to eat. There were two sit down restaurants, one of which was PJ O'Funnigan's. "I don't care what the other one is. Big Bowl of Shite. House of E Coli. It doesn't matter. Not PJ O'Funnigans!" Jacob and Noah looked at each other, then Jacob said, "Why so against it?" Before I could say anything, Noah said, "Oh yeah, you did a commercial for them. Prom season!" Jacob laughed. "That was you? So, how was prom?" "Fuck off, both of you. Those residuals paid my rent for a few months. Anyway, have you ever seen their menu?" Noah said, "Yeah, you think that sucks? Try doing a commercial for Cookie Crisps. You want shite?" He imitated my accent. "What the bloody hell are Cookie Crisps?" Jacob laughed. "Chocolate chip cookie cereal." My eyes widened. "I'm serious. The label should just say either 'when you just don't care' or 'when you want to get out of the store without a tantrum.' My grandma used to let us have them. And you guys want shit? Burger Palace. Local chain in the Northwest. Burgers taste like shit when they're fresh. And it's a local no-budget commercial so the burger's been sitting for hours. I was taking the girl on a date in mine. Nothing says I care like a visit to the ER, the AD said." We laughed as we walked to the restaurant, trading audition stories. Noah won for one casting agent saying 'can we make him walk less Jewish?' We went to the restaurant, a combined fast casual restaurant and arcade, with video and carnival games. Noah's eyes widened. "Cool." We sat at our table and looked at the menu. Unlike the guys, my scenes involved a very short babydoll dress. Razor kept saying it was 'period appropriate.' One of the female script supervisors said to me 'and the period is seven to ten, with time off for good behavior.' Either way, it was a grilled chicken salad. I used my American accent. I wasn't in the mood to explain what I was doing here. Noah said, "I'll have a cheeseburger, fries and a large chocolate shake, please." I looked at him and he said, "Mom said I could have one." "She didn't say anything to me. And I'm not bringing you back sugared up. She'll have my head. He'll have a small coke." Or, as we called it at home, a large. "No fair," he looked daggers at me. "Email the no fair bureau. I said no. Do you want me to text her?" "Fine. Then I'm telling her that you had Jacob in your room last week." The little dick. Jacob looked horrified. "What? That's not true!" He turned to the waitress, who was all of twenty. "I don't know what he's talking about." She smiled, looking him up and down. "Sure, babe," and he turned bright red. She turned to me. "Don't you love when your mom makes you take him and he pulls this?" I smiled. "He's going to pay later. And he knows it. Tell you what, pest. How about you keep your mouth shut and I don't tell mom what you and your little perv friends were looking at on the computer the other day?" Noah looked at me and hissed, "You wouldn't." The waitress gave me a high five. I looked at him and raised my eyebrow. "Fine," he grumbled. "Small shake." And we shook. After the waitress was out of earshot, Noah looked at me and said, "OK, so next time, I'd like you to play the scene when I say I'm going to tell a little more scared and a little less angry." "Got it. And a little less hiss from you. Terrible for sound levels." I turned to Jacob. "I want you to play a little less gullible and more cocky." Jacob figured it out. "How did you figure out what he was doing?" I put my hand on Noah's. "He's my little zombie hunter. I knew he'd get it." Noah had a proud smile and I felt good. We sat and talked scenes while we waited for our food. When the waitress was coming out of the kitchen, Jacob said, "OK, she's coming back. Places." Noah took out his phone and Jacob put his hand on my knee. I almost jumped. "Ok, here we go. Grilled chicken salad for the babysitter," she said, grinning. "Chicken bacon club for the man who wasn't there. And for the boy who better stay quiet, a cheeseburger and a small chocolate shake." "Hey Noah," Jacob said, "what do you say?" Noah mumbled thanks and she left. After dinner, we went over to the games part. Noah bought himself some tokens and started playing a game that involved rolling a wooden ball up a ramp into one of a series of concentric circles. Jacob was standing next to me, his hand around my waist. I looked at him. "I just thought," he said, "we should stay in character." I smiled. "Got it. What's this?" I nodded towards the game Noah was playing. Jacob looked at me like I'd asked what a cheeseburger was. "You've never seen skeeball? Seriously?" "No, I'm lying. Yes seriously. We don't have it." I went to take my turn, trying to mimic Noah and failing miserably. Noah laughed hard, getting his revenge for FIFA. Jacob came over and said, "let me help you?" "Excuse me?" He leaned me over and took my arm. "Ok. Gently," he said, rocking my arm. "That's it. Now, let's try it." He swung my arm and I could feel his breath again. "Let go when I say so." I did and I got a 50 point circle. I involuntarily clapped. "Yes! Cool! Let me try again," and I smiled at him, "alone." I got another 50. I finished and gave Noah my tickets. He went off to play another game and we walked slowly behind him, holding hands. "He's having a good time," Jacob said. "I feel bad for him." "Me too. My parents weren't perfect but I've seen his mom on two sets and my god." "Yeah, well, some parents aren't...well...anyway, I'm glad he's having a good time. I'm glad we took him instead of him getting stuck with a crew member who's pissed." I smiled, feeling the warmth of his hand on mine. I tightened my grip a little and so did he. "Are you having a good time?" "Huh?" He said I turned to face him. "Are you? Having a good time? I know you'd rather be with the crew drinking instead of stuck with us." He smiled and his eyes brightened again. "I'm...fine," he said, fumbling a little. "It's...good. I mean you really care for him. Which is good. You do, right?" I looked over at Noah, intently playing one of those games where you put in a coin and hoped that the giant mechanical rake would push out more. He had a look of utter age appropriate concentration on his face. I smiled. "Yeah, I do. I really do. I know I shouldn't. It's a shoot and we'll get done and probably never see each other again but I don't care. I do but I don't care that I care. Does that makes sense?" He smiled. "It does," and he moved his hand to the small of my back. And I put my hand in his back pocket. Going Method. Noah came back twenty minutes later with a pile of junk including a small basketball and a giant pencil. I thought about asking him what he was going to do with all that and then I remembered trips to Southend with my parents and a giant SpongeBob that my father said was made by slave laborers and smelled like cigarettes and generator fuel. We went back to the hotel and went to drop off Noah, his room being closest to the elevators. "Is your mom here?" Jacob asked. Noah just stared at him. "Then we'll hang until she gets here." "You don't have to. I'm 12. I can stay alone. Besides we have an early day." Jacob nodded. "You do. We don't. We can wait. Go brush your teeth and get ready for bed." Noah came back out wearing a t shirt and basketball shorts. You could see his body at the start of that awkward stage. He was still a boy but not for long. I remembered what it was like, allegiances shifting (not that I had any) and wondering how to approach someone. He had spent too much time on set and I wondered if that gave him the language of adulthood but none of the skills of adolescence. "Good night, guys. Thanks. I had fun." I smiled. "Me too" and he gave me a hug. Then he bumped fists with Jacob and went to bed. We sat on the couch and watched TV, the volume low. He sat down next to me, putting his arm around me. "Does this bother you?" I thought for a second. About Chloe. Then, I said, "No." I leaned up against him. "Is this OK?" He smiled. "It's good. Can I say something and don't take this the wrong way...". Oh god. What was he going to say? Here goes nothing and I nodded. "You smell really great." I smiled. "Huh?" "I smelled you before. At skeeball. And you smell really good. That's too weird." What was weird was that I didn't find it weird. That I liked it. "It isn't. Thank you. I just got it tonight." I moved in closer. It felt good to be held. I smiled up at him. "You have really great eyes." It was like I was playing a character in a film. Only more so. He looked away, then at me. "So do you, Allie." An hour later, I heard the door open and I jumped, straightening my dress. Noah's mom had a huge grin, as she looked at Jacob passed out on the couch. "You really were the babysitter, weren't you? Did I say you could have boys over?" I felt mortified. "It's cool, Allie. Thanks for watching Noah. And for staying until I got back. It wasn't necessary but I appreciate it. Good night." I woke up Jacob and we walked back to our rooms. "That was mortifying," I said, laughing. He laughed too. "Wait till tomorrow. It's going to get worse. The rumor mill." "You really think so?" He looked at me with a smile. The day before I would have found it patronizing. "Um, yeah. Of course." We got to my room and he leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips. "Good night Allie. Sweet dreams." Then walked away. Becca "Look at you, all dressed up," John joked. We had come back from a shoot and I changed in the bathroom. I was wearing a green print dress that I had bought with Chloe, back when Chloe and I did things like that, and a pair of flats. "Big date? Does Allie know?" I laughed. "Hardly. My dad's in town for meetings, so I'm meeting him for dinner in Midtown." We were going to the Grill, which used to be the Four Seasons, but I wasn't going to say that. I didn't need the shit that he and Rachel would give me for that. I walked over to Nevins to catch the 4 or 5 train. I probably should have gone to DeKalb with Rachel and caught the "D," but the 4/5 was more frequent and I wasn't in the mood to talk. I wasn't upset with her or anything. More just I needed time to think. I stood on the platform and watched a dad and his son, who looked like he was maybe 5 or 6. They were both wearing Knicks gear, poor kid, and I remembered going to Sonics games before they left for Oklahoma City. I was fourteen and really disappointed. Not about them leaving. I liked basketball and knew that, once the city said it wasn't replacing the arena, that they were gone. It was just that that was when I got a chance to spend time one on one with my dad. Josh had left for college the year before and now it was going to be just us at the games. Well, sometimes us and someone from the office or a client. Without the Sonics, there was nothing in the winter for us to do together. And so we didn't do that much, not as much as before anyway. And so I got my mom. And community theater. It was "Carousel" the first year. For once in my life, the trains ran early so I beat him to the restaurant. I was at the bar having a glass of Barolo, not good but I'm sure overpriced, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Hey Becca," my father said. I turned around and gave him a hug. "Hey, dad!" He smiled. "Is this how you dress on shoots? Has to be inconvenient." "Not hardly," I said, pointing at my bag. "I figured my jeans and long sleeved T would be a little out of place here." He looked at the bartender, nodded his head and the hostess came over. "We'll have that brought to the table, Mr. Scott," she said, as she led us to the table. When we got there, she held out the chair so that I could slide in. "So, how were the meetings today?" He smiled. "The usual bullshit. Half filled up with placating my institutions," his institutional investors - the pension funds, banks and universities. When I was little, I had this vision of giant buildings chasing my father. Then, it was replaced by visions of patients in straitjackets. "And the afternoon was meeting with some 26 year old who has a vision of AI being used in the banking process." "So, what happened with the institutions? What's their problem this time? When I was home Christmas, I heard you tell Charlie," one of my brothers, "that your year to date was at like twenty percent." He smiled and gave a slight nod. "I had no idea you listened to us." "I pay attention, dad," I laughed. "Maybe I don't have an MBA like him, but I listen. So, what's their problem?" He laughed. "It's not enough to get returns anymore, especially with the universities. Do they do business in the West Bank? Have we checked to see how many women are in senior positions? How do they handle harassment complaints? Shit like that." "Shit like that?" I said, smiling. "Harvey Weinstein is shit like that?" He smiled and took a sip of his scotch. The waiter had brought it over, without asking. "Oh stop it, Becca. You know we don't tolerate that." He didn't. I remembered one of his better guys being fired for it. "I actually feel for the endowment officers. They have to balance these two constituencies. But, I wonder how many of the kids fighting over all of this are on financial aid. Or told their friends on financial aid, 'sorry, there's no money for you but the school is now morally pure. As defined by us.'" I leaned forward. "I think they're just concerned." Honestly, I never got involved with this at school. Not that I didn't support the goals. I just wanted to make my movies and politics was never my thing. "But I hear you. Sometimes, you gotta sacrifice the small goal for the bigger one." He raised his eyebrow. "That's my girl." We talked about his meetings for a while. He started to explain the AI to me. I laughed. "It sounds fascinating. I mean I'm not sure that I understand it totally. I'd have to get Chloe's boyfriend Tom to explain it to me." He looked around conspiratorially, then smiled. "That's two of us. I understand the project in depth." Of course, he did. My father would paint himself as 'just a finance guy,' but you don't graduate Michigan with a 4.0 by being stupid. "They start writing down code and I want to look at these guys and say 'know your audience.' Someone needs to explain that to them. You're pitching me. And then I'm pitching someone else. Know who's who. Come on." I thought about the party, about what Louise said about the other junior people. "Anyway, how is Chloe?" I thought for a second. What was I going to say? That she was pissed at me? That she was ditching me all the time. He wouldn't get it. If my mom was here, she would. But then she wouldn't shut up about it either, telling me how I had to make an effort and all that. So, I went with, "She's fine. We've both been crazy with work." He held up his phone as if to say, 'I get it.' "Anyway, I just got done on a two week shoot for a new movie. Noah Baumbach..." "Have I seen any of his stuff?" "Squid and the Whale? Greenberg? Meyerowitz Stories?" He stared at me blankly. "He wrote 'Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.'" "That the one with Bill Murray doing the Jacques Cousteau thing?" I nodded. "Oh yeah, your mother dragged me to that. Wes Anderson, right?" I laughed. "Look at you, the film expert." He laughed. "Your mother drags me to all of his shit. Too precious for me. Well, anyway, so you're on the shoot? I assume that's a good thing?" "It is. People see his movies. The right people. The people making decisions about the next movie." I debated saying something about Louise's offer to him, feeling him out, but I didn't. It was too soon. I needed another drink. "Good. Glad to hear it. What else?" I knew he'd say that. There was no one project with my father. His world was multiples. "I'm actually assistant directing a documentary. On how women are basically expected to be unpaid caregivers. How the system is basically designed for that and how, without it, the medical establishment would collapse." He smiled. "How did you come to this?" "Rachel, she's the main director I work for, and I were working on this commercial," and I explained Mrs. Ianuzzi and all that stuff, "and so that's how we decided to do it. And we pitched this guy who made his money in industrial electric equipment..." His eyes lit up. "You pitched this guy? Tell me about the pitch." "Rachel and I went in. We explained how we came to the project and what we thought it meant..." "Who did the pitching? You or Rachel?" "Um, we both did. I mean Rachel explained the substance of the film, to start. She is the director. But I talked about what we needed. The budgeting, schedules and all that side of things." It was weird. I could see his mind engaging. He had bankrolled a movie once, a horror movie. It was after 'Saw' came out. It tanked, but my father called himself 'a patron of the arts.' One of his partners bought him a director's chair with 'schmuck' written on it. "Good. That's good. Did you build in for overruns?" I smiled. "Despite what you think, dad," and I hit dad a little hard, on purpose. "I've been listening my whole life." "I know. That's my Becca. This actually does sound like a good project. Aunt Linda," she was my uncle Michael's wife, "has been dealing with that shit with her mother for the past year. Ovarian cancer..." "Jeez. I didn't know.." He smiled. "Call her and Uncle Mike. I know they'd love to hear from you." I felt guilty. I liked them. I didn't care for my cousins, but I liked them. And Mrs. Ianuzzi was making me think. I made a plan to call them tomorrow. "And call your mother." "I've been busy." "Yeah, well, when you don't call, I hear," he joked. "So call." "Last time I called, she was at work." My mom had picked up a job reviewing grants for a local arts council. And offering pro bono legal advice. Before my brother was born, my mom had been an associate in the corporate finance group at Preston Gates, Bill Gates' father's law firm. She met my father working on a deal when they were both junior people. They got married and, when my brother Stephen was born, my mom took a break to raise him, then us. That was thirty two years ago. My father laughed. "Work. Your mother's work costs me money. I have to go to a fundraiser for the council next week." "Aw come on, they do good work..." Rachel would love the council. He smiled. "They do. This one is actually to raise money for an arts program in Kent," a working class area south of Seattle. "It's worthwhile. Just expensive. Anyway, so, what's going on with you? Tell me about this Alyx." I choked on my wine. "Sorry, what?" I had never mentioned Alex to my family. "Alyx. Your new girlfriend..." I felt like crawling under the table. "Oh, jeez, dad. I didn't mean for you to find...I mean, how did... I mean, oh god. Don't be angry." He smiled and touched my hand. "Relax, Rebecca. I'm not angry. I mean I would've like to have found out about my daughter from my daughter, or at least my wife, and not Ben Schwartzman..." "Sorry, what?" I said, regaining my breath. "Ben Schwartzman. The guy who got you the job in the first place. He was at the party at your boss' apartment..." I had forgotten about him. I didn't know him before, he was just some friend of my dad. I had met him with a group of other people, when we were talking about overseas distribution or something. He didn't say anything to me and I wasn't going to say anything in front of him. I decided to fake it. "I remember. I was talking to him..." "About overseas distribution. He told me. He said he was very impressed by you." Then, he paused and took a sip of his drink. "And that's great. Alyx." "You're not upset?" He looked at me. "About what?" "About Alyx. That she's a girl." Or whatever. Thinking too much about it made my head hurt. But that was a separate issue. That we didn't need to discuss now. He looked at me. "Absolutely not! And I'm offended, Rebecca, that you'd say that to me. I really am. Come on, Claire, Emily." They were two lesbian partners at his firm. "How many times have I said that I would take a team of them? And how much have I given to LGBT causes? Seriously?" I felt mortified. "Well, obviously, I didn't mean for Ben to tell you....does mom know?" "She hasn't said anything, so no. But Wendy and Ben went away after that, so take care of this beforehand. But, tell me about this Alyx. All Ben told me was she was a pretty little blonde." I smiled, not even thinking of how Alex would be horrified then livid to hear himself described that way. But he wasn't here. "She is," I smiled. "5'4". Thin. Beautiful blue eyes..." He smiled to himself. "Good for you. Ben says she's an actress..." I smiled. "She is. For real, she is. She's done a bunch of commercials and just left for two months to shoot a movie..." "Good for her," he said, smiling. "Be careful though. I dated a few actresses before your mother. They tend to be very high maintenance." "Allie isn't. If anything, I am." He laughed. "That's different. Ask your mother. So, Ben was watching you. He said that you were doing great talking..." --------------------- I remember one summer, I must have been about thirteen. Alice Spencer, my best friend back then, went on a long vacation to Mexico with her parents. I remember counting down to the days till she came back. It must have been two weeks, it felt like an eternity. Then, the day her plane landed, I remember riding over to her house. All eager. But of course she couldn't come out to play, she was too tired her mother told me. I felt the same way after I dropped Kelly off at her hotel. The rest of the day, I spent hanging around the offices thinking about Louise's offer. I hated to admit it but I knew I was going to say yes. I just didn't want to admit it. What did it say about all my creative projects, my dream of being a director? My phone started to ring. It was Allie. I'd changed the picture to one of her all done up for the life insurance gig. There's no way I could pick up, so I just put it on silent, watching her face until it went to voice message. I met Kelly that evening. I'd told Louise that, with Allie away, I was happy to be the babysitter. Reception sent me straight up. Kelly met me at the door, her hair up and wrapped in a towel. "Sorry," she apologised in that very English way, "I must have slept through the alarm. Or set it wrong." I waited on the edge of the doorway as she headed back in. She turned and looked at me. "Come in. I won't bite." I smiled gratefully and entered. On the bed was a laptop, on it were a number of pictures made by a child. "Who did these?" I asked. She went about getting dressed as I went and sat on the one chair. "My son Eddie. Fiona scanned them in for me." Outside it was getting dark. The lights of Manhattan were shimmering in the heat. Coming out of the bathroom, Kelly tied her hair back into a ponytail. "Are we going anywhere fancy?" She didn't look at me, touching up her makeup in the mirror. "Wherever you like, it's just us. The meetings won't start till tomorrow." "Great. I hear the Chinese food is to die for in New York." I was surprised. "You've never been before?" I was so much a New Yorker now I couldn't believe anyone wanted to be anywhere else. "No," when she shook her head her ponytail bounced back and forth, "I'm too much of a Europhile. But I've always wanted to." "Do you want duck or dim sum?" She smiled. "What do you recommend?" "That's tough. If we do Nom Wah Tu, we can get a bunch of small plates." Which I will drop on myself, I thought. "But Peking Duck House, the duck is amazing. They carve it tableside. It's classic Chinatown." She thought for a second. "I haven't had duck in ages. Lead on. I'm not underdressed, am I?" She was wearing a blue vest style t shirt and long women's shorts. And still looked more sophisticated than me. When we got to the restaurant, she stopped. "Right, stand next to the window." Which was filled with dead ducks. Hey, truth in advertising. Unsure, I did what she said. I watched as she took out her phone and aimed the camera at me. "For Fiona." She explained. I smiled nervously. Inside was a riot of color and noise. Again she craned her long neck to see everything. Later that night, when I got home I lay on the bed, the a/c turned up to full. For the first time that day, I felt some relief from the humidity and the heat. Since Allie had left, I'd returned to my old technique for getting off to sleep. Same technique, but different players. Her in that black sheath. Her in the restaurant fumbling with the chopsticks. How I wanted to pick up the food for her, put it in her mouth. Her leaning forward. I fell asleep, the lights still on. The next day I met Kelly early. I had to take her across town to meet Rachel. From there we'd be meeting with lawyers and people from Kelly's American agency. "Hi." She locked her room door behind her. I felt embarrassed, remembering what I'd done last night. Who I'd been thinking of. "Hey. Hungry?" She had a half-eaten pastry in one hand. She looked down guiltily. "Don't tell Fiona." Her smile gave me butterflies. We took a cab over to Ai Fiori, the restaurant in the Langham Place Hotel on Fifth Avenue. Looking around the room, you could see that it was an expense account place, all the tables taken up by people in business clothes. As we got out, Rachel was waiting for us. I hadn't seen Rachel in a business suit before. Usually she was in jeans and whatever else was easiest to put on that morning. She looked nervous, which was another first in my experience. After the introductions we went and sat in the restaurant. Kelly ordered a plate of scrambled eggs, avocado and bacon. She must have caught me looking because she explained, "I'm the mother of a toddler. I count myself lucky every time I get to eat something other than Mr Men spaghetti." "My nephew is just the same. If we let him, he'd eat nothing more than chicken fingers and Pirate Booty." Kelly smiled at me. I had to look down at my coffee. "How old is he? Does he live close?" "He's three. And unfortunately no. They live in Seattle. I do most of my aunt-ing over Skype these days." When had I last seen him? Three or four months ago? I caught Rachel looking at me. After that I kept quiet, and let Rachel talk about the project. "So I would really like to work with your material. I think there's such a strong correlation between what happened in the UK with Brexit and what happened here with Trump." I'd emailed her last night that Kelly was worried about moving the book from England to the States. "I think Danelaw is a powerful look at the social isolation in former industrial areas. How these communities feel abandoned." I zoned out a little, focusing on Kelly's body language. A little later Rachel got up and excused herself. Once she was out of earshot, Kelly leaned into me. "What do you think?" "Urm, about?" Was she really interested in my opinion? "Rachel, you've worked with her, right? Does she care about my book? The issues?" She was leaning in. I could feel her breath on my skin. The little hairs standing up, like a cat around static electricity. "She definitely cares. A lot." But would you get the film made? A book by a woman, about women, turned into a movie directed by a woman? Maybe it'd get made, in this climate and all. "You won't find another director who would be more sympathetic to your work." She looked at me closely. I could feel my cheeks turning red. "But..." "But what?" I demurred. "But, there's a 'but'. What..." She trailed off seeing, as I did, Rachel making her way back to the table. "Tell me later." She whispered. Later? My mind went a bit fuzzy. Their conversation went on in the taxi over to the lawyers. I was impressed with the level of detail Rachel could recall from the book. She was able to take Kelly through her initial thoughts on key scenes. "The key character is the young girl, Eve. The one the detective is trying to save. She's like her own youth. All the things she lost to become successful in a man's world." I could feel Kelly's leg against mine. The warmth of her skin next to mine. The FaceTime logo came up on my phone. It was Allie, she wouldn't mind me calling her back later. I was working after all. Alex Jacob ran a hand through his hair. "You wanna go?" I was standing against a wall while Jacob lent against it. His other hand close to my head. "Come on. I think it'll be fun," he added. I'd spent the morning trying to FaceTime Becca, but she wasn't answering. I had lines to learn, but nothing was urgent. As the captive, I had little to do beyond looking scared. A couple of the extras from the earlier party scene had invited us to a college party in town. They were locals who'd got extra parts through knowing people on the crew. Location scouts etc. They'd been there for a bit of easy money plus a story to tell. "We'll be like celebs to them." Urgh, that was the last thing I wanted. "I don't know..." "And we'll be able to drink." It had been a long time. Being underage really sucked, and here I was doing it for a second time. "Maybe. Noah won't be able to come..." "His mother is taking him home for the weekend. I overheard them talking." Hmmm, he had me in check mate. You had to respect the player. The house was a student one. I'm not sure if it counted as a frat house. Not being from America, I was a little unclear on what a 'frat' was. Still, there were already students standing outside drinking on the lawn. I could hear music, Tyler the Creator, coming from inside, along with shouts and whooping. He looked at me. "What do you think?" "Uh huh," I was terrified, "let's do this." Had he got taller? He seemed taller. Maybe it was the Converse trainers I was wearing. I should have worn something with a thicker sole. He spotted the friends who had invited us and led me over. For a moment, he took hold of my hand so we wouldn't get split up in the crowd. His fingers were firm and held me tightly. My earlier problem was made worse. They all seemed like American football types, like rugby players back home. I felt like I was lost in a forest of giant redwoods. Craning my neck up to listen when someone spoke. My fringe kept getting in my eyes. Razor had told the costume woman he liked them long. Apparently it made me look innocent. To my mind, they made me half blind. "Dude. You came," said an extra I hardly knew, before embracing Jacob. He hugged me as well, picking me off the ground. "Let me introduce you to everyone." I pushed the side of my hair behind my ears. It was just long enough now to hold there. "Hey gang, these are the two actors I told you about. This dude," he put an arm around Jacob,"is cool AF." He looked at me, a little uncertain. "And this is his girlfriend. Allie." I was about to say something but them more people started coming over to meet us. It felt embarrassing so I dropped it for now. The hallway was full and Jacob and I were forced together. I could feel his arm against mine. The skin of our arms touching. I could feel the stickiness from the sweat. The coarseness of the hairs on his arm. Jacob looked at me. "I'll get us some drinks." "Uh huh." I didn't know where to put my hands. I'd been wearing these short skirts and t-shirt combos for a while now but never before had I felt so unsure what to do with my hands. At the sides felt too stiff. Folded in front, too confrontational. I could put them behind my back, but that made me think of being handcuffed, which I'd spent way too much time doing lately. What I'd give for pockets. "Do you want to wait here?" I shrugged. "Or you could come with." Looking around, I saw all the faces turning towards me. "I'll come with." One benefit of being with Jacob was that, with his height, he easily created a path in the crowd. All I had to do was stick in his slipstream. As he filled two cups with beer my phone began to buzz. Shit, shit, shit, it was Becca. I couldn't talk now. How would I explain the party, and Jacob? "Who's that?" He handed me a drink, looking at my phone. "Nobody," I pulled my phone away too quickly. "Just a friend from back home. I'll call her back." It was too crowded inside so we headed out back through the sliding glass doors. A few people were in the above ground pool. "Damn. I wish we had brought bathing suits," Jacob smiled, looking at me for a moment too long. Despite the heat, I felt a little shiver. He didn't know. Of course he didn't. The party continued and I stayed by Jacob's side. Most of the people spoke to him. "Dude, you were amazing in 'Shortest Root,'" one sort of drunk big guy said to Jacob, as we waited at the keg. Apparently, there were a lot of 'Shortest Root' fans in the middle of nowhere. He turned to me. "Have you watched your boyfriend in that?" Jacob gave me a quick smile and a hand squeeze. I smiled, not bothering to correct him. It wasn't worth it and he wouldn't remember. "Yes. He's quite amazing." "Thanks, bud. But wait until you see the movie. Allie blows me away." Jacob laughed and put his arm lightly around my waist, his hand touching my hip. Becca "I was beginning to wonder if you were ghosting me," I laughed, as I picked up the phone. We had tried FaceTiming but Allie said she only had two or three bars, so we were stuck talking. It drove her nuts 'not being able to see my Becca,' but I was getting used to it, with all the old people I dealt with. Allie said, "I could say the same thing. I'm sorry. You know how crazy sets can get." I wasn't in the mood to start with her, so I just laughed. "Speaking of which," she continued, "how is it with your shoot? Are you still there?" I was a little annoyed. She knew, or at least she used to know, that it was a two week shoot and that those two weeks were over a while ago. Then, I looked at the picture of us on my phone, from Louise's party. "Actually, bunny," I laughed. "I'm doing something totally different now..." "What," she interrupted, her voice bubbling. "Are you on a longer term project? A TV show?" "Actually," I said, "I moved off the creative side. Louise has moved me to the producing side." Silence. Then, "What?" "Is the signal bad? I said I'm producing now." "Since when?" "Are you angry? I think you'd be excited," I said, playing with a pen on my desk and looking at the window. "When were you planning on telling me?" I was glad the cell signal sucked. I really didn't want to see her face. She sounded less angry and more disappointed, like my mom. "I'm sorry. I know I should have said something but you were busy and I was busy..." "You didn't even text me." I thought I heard a catch in her voice. Now I really felt like shit. "I thought we talked about these things..." I backpedaled as best as I could. "This didn't seem like something for a text. And I tried FaceTiming you and you didn't pick up..." She sputtered, "It's just...I thought...you always wanted to be a director." Looking back, I should not have said the next sentence. I mean I needed to, but I should have phrased it differently. "After the party, Louise called me in. She said I, 'we', did great at the party. That I had the potential to be a great producer..." "The party," she mumbled, flatly. "Wonderful." "Allie, come on. I apologized already for whatever it was that I did." Also, a poor choice of words in retrospect. "But, you're missing the point. She saw something in me. She said I could be great." "You can be great at anything. But, I thought you wanted to be great at directing. What about Rachel? And the documentary? What about all those women?" "I can be so much more help to her, to them on the producing side. I'm making contacts that can get the movie seen, to get these women heard. What would I do, as an assistant to the director? Cut film? Run a camera?" I was staring intently at a button on my jacket, jiggling it with my finger. I stopped before I pulled it off. I heard her sigh. "OK, Becca. If you think this is best for you..." I pictured her in her trailer, her legs up on the couch, fidgeting with her hair. She had this habit of brushing the hair on the back of her head up whenever she was nervous or annoyed. "I do. I can't explain it. But, once I started producing, it was like I found what I was good at, really good at, y'know?" I decided to change the subject. I wasn't in the mood for her disappointment. "How's the set? What's it like?" She laughed. "Like I said, busy. Ridiculously busy. Up at 5:30, back after 10." I tested the waters. "Is my Allie getting her beauty sleep?" It worked. "You can't see me. But I'm sticking my tongue out at you," she joked. "What are you wearing?" "Really, Becca? You couldn't come up with something better? Maybe, you should be a producer..." "Please," I begged, while I stared at the copy of 'Danelaw' on my desk. Kelly had signed a copy before she went back to England. "Come on, it's been over a month..." She laughed. "Oh fine. I'm waiting for my scene. I'm wearing a blue babydoll dress and Doc Martens." "Oooh. Send me a selfie." "It's for the role," she laughed. Was she annoyed with me? "Please. I miss you," I said. "Give me something." I heard her mumble 'hang on' and then my phone pinged. A picture of her. She looked really cute and really young. "Wow." "Thanks," she laughed. "How are Rachel and Trish, by the way?" I hadn't seen them for two weeks, other than the meeting with Kelly. I think they felt weird going out, just the three of us. "Fine. It's been hard to coordinate schedules and all that. They invited me to a party next weekend." I wasn't sure if I was going to go. Or if they wanted me. Rachel had been cool to me after the meeting, which was kind of bullshit. I pushed for her. I only had so much pull and that wasn't much. Besides, they hadn't decided on a director yet. Anyway, whatever. "I'm sorry I'll miss it." I'm sure Rachel and Trish were sorry too. Sorrier than if I was away. "Say hi for me. So, tell me about producing. All I know about ours is they come to the set and look like they're making sure I'm not taking an extra cookie at craft services," she laughed. Again, with a little edge. I almost said, 'movies cost money,' but stopped. "It's really interesting, meeting with all of the new people. I actually helped us land a new movie. This book, 'Danelaw.'" "The dead au pair up in the Peaks? My mum absolutely adored that book," she laughed. "So, tell me about how you landed it." "Well, you know I was in England. Well, anyway, Kelly..." "Kelly?" She sounded curious. Or jealous? Which was, to be honest, kind of cool. "Kelly Cooper, the author. She's amazing. She worked in advertising and wrote this book in her spare time and her ex submitted it...". "Uh huh..." I could hear the boredom in her voice. "Anyway, so now she's married. To Fiona. A woman. Well, that's obvious. And she, Kelly she, has a little boy. I mean they have an older son too. From Fiona's first marriage." Why was explaining myself? I didn't say or do anything. "Anyway, she came here to be pitched by everyone, for the rights. And I took her around, showed her the sights, while the lawyers and agents hammered out the terms." "That has to be interesting," Allie sounded a little distant. "What was it like being in the room where it happened?" This was a little joke. A month or so into our relationship, my father had gotten me two tickets to 'Hamilton' for my birthday and I took Allie. For whatever reason, she liked that song about being in the room where it happened. I laughed. "I wasn't in the room where it happened. Well, not the final room. Louise and I get them on board. Then, the lawyers and agents take care of the numbers..." "So, Louise isn't there? The head of the company?" She sounded dubious. I rolled my eyes. "Of course, she is." I could hear Allie getting annoyed. "So, she is. And you aren't. And you're not being creative either..." "That hurts, Allie." It did, a lot. She mumbled an apology. I felt pushed against the wall. "If Kelly doesn't feel like we can do her book justice, that we get it, then there's nothing for lawyers and agents to do, y'know." I looked at the picture of the two of us again and remembered her going off to the bathroom a couple of times. "It takes teamwork." "Sorry," she said, laughing a little and getting on my nerves. "I guess, I just don't understand what everyone else does. I'm just talent..." "No worries. I'm new at this, too. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do entirely." That was a lie. I knew what I did. And I was good at it. I just wanted to end this fight. "So," I said, trying to sound happy. "How are the other actors?" She laughed, a real laugh this time. I loved her laugh, the low alto of it. "The other actors are good. Sadie is fascinating to watch. She really knows her craft. And Maggie, she plays the female kidnapper, is a real trip." And she went off on some story about being tied up. And gagged. That ended with, 'and then we had cookies.' I flicked through the book, offering 'ohs' and 'hahas' at what felt like were the appropriate times. She paused. "How's Noah doing?" As I was talking, I was looking at the black and white author's photo. "Noah is fine, he's a good kid. Little wisearse, but weren't we all at that age? We've actually been having a FIFA tournament lately." "Who's we?" "Me, Noah and Jacob. The kids' club." She laughed. "Jacob? I thought you couldn't stand him." I heard a small pause. "He's actually not so bad. I think he was just nervous. And he's great with Noah, although they gang up on me...." "What do you mean they gang up on you? How much time do you spend together?" Again she laughed. "A lot. I mean, on off nights, the rest of the cast and crew goes out drinking which, thanks to someone, I can't do...." I smiled, picturing her in her t shirt and short shorts at Tom and Chloe's. Her and Chloe dancing around. Which annoyed me then but, thinking about it now, kind of made me hot. "And Noah's mum ditches him every chance she gets. So it's the three of us. Anyway, it's always the two of them playing some foul hip hop or playing practical jokes on me..." "Practical jokes?" For a moment I looked up from the book. "Don't ask. Stupid stuff..." I laughed. "I have three brothers, Allie. Anyway, poor Allie, the boys ganging up on her." I was surprised she didn't respond to my use of 'her'. She laughed. "Well, the sole saving grace is that I am currently beating them at FIFA like they're third in Scotland or something. Tonight, we're getting pizza and going bowling." I smiled, picturing her bowling, bending over to throw the ball. "Well, have a good time," I laughed. I paused. "I miss you." "I miss you too." I could hear her smile. "Say hi to Chloe and Tom for me." If I spoke to Chloe more than once every ten days, I would. We hung up and I went back to work. Alex I was alone in my trailer when my phone started to buzz. I glanced at it and saw Instagram and Twitter messages appearing. Was I being tagged? What group had I forgotten to leave? I looked closer. The hashtag 'Jallie' kept appearing. Not one I remembered. Something to do with Indian food maybe? I put the phone down and picked up the script. I had a lot of lines to learn with our final few days on location coming up. It was probably some dumb thing with Tom and his Laser Quest mates. Five minutes later, the phone had been buzzing so much that it was moving. Had a royal baby married a Kardashian and ridden away on a cat meme? Only there was @AlyxL, and several thousand 'Jallie' hashtags. I opened one up: 'So cute' with kissing emojis and #Jallie. Followed by 'she's so nice so you can't even hate her :-) :-) :-)' and #Jallie. Then, I realized what '#Jallie' was. The picture was of me and Jacob from behind, his arm around my middle. It took me a moment to realise it was from the party. Shit, shit, shit. Well it was innocent enough. Surely... I was up, pacing back and forward in the confined space. I could image someone watching from outside, seeing the trailer rocking back and forth like in some cartoon. Fuck. I stared at Becca's phone number in my favourites. What was I going to say? And there were mum and dad's numbers. What would I say to them, they didn't even know about the project? Fuck! I sat down, trying to control my breathing. What actually did they have? Me at a party? Jacob's hand on the small of my back. Plenty of friends stand like that, I reasoned. It means nothing. If anything, Becca would find it funny. I scrolled further down the IG feed. Bollocks! At first, the pictures were fine. Me and a bunch of girls, holding red plastic cups and grinning. Me and one guy imitating the Star commercial. Cheesy and weird at the time, but funny now. Me and Jacob standing next to each other, holding hands, nothing more really than two friends hanging out. Then there was this. Again, Jacob had his back to the camera, only this time my face was clear. And the look I was giving Jacob would be way harder to explain than any errant hand. I was looking at him the way a very hungry cat looks when it sees its owner opening a can of its favourite brand of tuna. Slow deep breaths. Calm Alex, calm. I looked out of the window, through the half opened blinds. A group of technicians walked past talking and laughing. About me? Perhaps they were exchanging opinions on what they'd do if they were in Jacob's position. A shiver ran down my spine. Instinctively, I pulled the throw around me. I lay on the sofa, my knees hugged to my chest. What was I going to do? I looked at my phone again, yet more messages. Twitter, Instagram, hell even Facebook, which meant old people knew about it. I was trending and, if I didn't act soon, Becca would hear from someone else. Like driving slowly past a car crash, I couldn't stop looking. Another photo, then another. Then... oh shit. Shitty, fucky, fuck, fuck, shit. There we were, out at the swimming pool. We'd been laughing and joking. Other people around. Then they'd left and we were alone. And. Well. We'd jumped in. The first photo showed us both in the swimming pool, splashing each other. The second was worse - he was carrying me on his back, me grinning. The third was worst of all. He was climbing out and whoever @BearsFan7943 was caught him straight on. You could see me in the background, and yes 'starving cat' and 'tuna' came to mind. But it was him, dripping wet and... well... erm. Let's just say it was clear he'd never have anything to be ashamed off in the locker room. Fuck. I looked at the favourites on my phone again, finger hovering over the call button. I couldn't bring myself to FaceTime, it'd have to be old school, 20th Century style. I hit dial. "Hi, Allie?" The voice on the other end sounded uncertain. Who calls anyone these days? It was always bad news. "Hey," my voice was quiet, like I hopped the world wouldn't notice and everything would just go away, "erm... Chloe." "Are you OK, Allie?" "Yeah," that was a lie, "I mean physically." "Allie, what's going on? I don't..." "Check Twitter and Instagram. Look for the hashtag 'Jallie'. Two Ls." "Er, OK." Chloe's voice sounded strange as she put her phone on speaker. My mouth and throat felt dry. All I could do was wait. "OK, so you were at a party," she laughed, "it's not sooooo bad. Cute outfit" I cut her off. "Scroll down further." For a moment there was silence. Then laughter. "Oh Allie, you're crushing hard, aren't you? Look it's not great but..." Again I cut her off. "Have you got to the swimming pool?" "Swimming... NO." Further silence. "Fu