Chapter 3
The rehearsal rooms were on the far west side. Lydia, the receptionist
from my audition all those weeks ago, met me in a deli across the
street from the nearest subway station, which was still three long
blocks from the studio. Apparently, she was working as a runner on the
film.
"Hey." I ran up to her in the deli. She was holding two cups of coffee,
in those blue and white 'We are Happy to Serve' you cups. "You didn't
have to meet me. I could've made it myself."
"It's not even 6 AM, Alyx," she said, embracing me and kissing me on
each cheek. "Too early for either of us to be walking over there
alone." She handed me a coffee, bitter but needed. "Besides, you've got
a long day ahead."
I nodded. Serious face. I hoped I was projecting seriousness.
Lydia smiled. "Don't worry. They're going to love you." Again I nodded,
more out of nervous energy than anything else.
The studio was part of an old warehouse complex. Not much to look at on
the outside. As we neared, Lydia chatted away about the different
design companies and other creatives who used it.
The door was solid. Gray and steel. Lydia pressed a button and, from
somewhere behind the door, I heard the faint sound of a bell. A few
minutes later came the clang of a large metal lock being turned, then
the door swung open.
A slightly balding middle aged man who radiated a sense that he was too
busy to be opening doors stood there. "So this is the new girl?" He
only half looked at me.
"Alyx Liddell, yes." Lydia stood up and down on her toes. Even at full
height, she was much smaller than the man.
"Let's hope she doesn't piss Razor off like the last one." He stood
back indicating for us to come in. When we were inside, he slammed the
door. Once he was sure it was properly shut he walked off, no
explanation.
He took us upstairs to a large room with mirror around the side. "It
looks like a dance studio."
"It is when we're not here." Lydia shrugged. "Razor's not here. Let me
introduce you to the rest of the cast. The core ones at least." She
took me over to a group of people standing in one corner.
The first was a middle aged woman I recognised immediately. "This is
Sadie of course." Lydia explained. The woman offered me her hand. I
studied her face. The one I remembered from the perhaps half a dozen
films of hers I'd seen. There were a few wrinkles, and if you looked
closely you could see the colour draining away at the roots of her hair
but it was still her.
"Urm, hi." I stumbled over my own words.
"Hi, you must be the new girl." Sadie offered me a hand, but she was
more interested in talking to a silver haired man next to her. Lydia
moved me on quickly.
"This is Jacob. He'll be playing your boyfriend." Jacob was tall.
Handsome in that boyband way. His face was soft but his shoulders and
elbows were all angles.
"Hi" He nodded, his eyes not moving away from the screen of his phone.
"Hey," I held out my hand, wanting to make a good first impression.
According to the script, he was supposed to be my boyfriend. We needed
to have chemistry. "You were good in The Shortest Root." I'd never seen
it but Chloe had told me all about it. A teen drama streamed through
Netflix. About a boy who was a long distance runner until he gets
injured, then he ends up growing marijuana . She said it masqueraded as
serious drama, but underneath was your standard teen drama with better
production values.
That got his attention. "Yeah," he scratched the back of his head, "I'm
trying to move on from that."
The final face needed no introduction. "Noah?"
He smiled at me. "Hey, Kid's Table."
I playfully punched him on the arm. "Omigod Bae, it's soooo great to be
working with you again." I used a mock sweet voice doing my best
impression of a tween girl with a crush. His ears burned red and I felt
bad about teasing him. I tried to move on, "Noah and I worked together
on that commercial."
"Ah," Lydia nodded. I wondered if she'd ever seen it? No one I knew
watched the networks anymore.
"Are you my little Bruh again?" I'd looked at the scripts they'd sent
me and didn't remember anything about a brother.
"I'm the kid of the family who kidnaps you. We become friends while
you're tied up in the basement." He grinned.
I grinned back. "Maybe if I'm tied up, you'll actually be able to beat
me at Fortnite." He just snorted and walked away.
By eight, there was still no sign of Razor. One of the assistants
suggested we try out a few scenes to warm up. First up was me and
Jacob. I noticed Sadie had sidled off to the corner and was talking on
her phone. Probably complaining to her agent.
The scene was fairly standard teen romance. My character was supposed
to be mooning over Jacob's. Him being the star quarterback or whatever.
"Your mom going to let you come to the party?"
"She doesn't let me do anything." I balled up my hands. I was thinking
of the argument with Becca the other night. How she wouldn't let me get
a different glue for my breast forms, one that was supposed to be
easier to remove.
He looked up at me, perhaps surprised by my intensity. "Wow. She's a
real hard ass, huh?"
"Yeah, she was in the army. She doesn't talk about it though." And
Becca was a rich kid who always got her way. I looked down at the floor
not up at Jacob. His eyes were too blue. It was off putting.
"You should come." He moved closer, instinctively I stepped back. He
put and hand on my arm gently stopping me.
"I know." I just stared at his hand, thinking of the way Becca liked to
grab me and pull me to the bed. It went on like that for a few minutes.
I was relieved when we came to a stop. It wasn't like they all clapped
or anything, but I could tell I'd got their attention. Even Sadie had
sat down and put her phone away.
"What?" I said, looking around at everyone.
Jacob smiled at me, then at the assistant. The assistant, stone-faced,
said, "OK. How about we do your sides with Sadie? The scene right
before you go to the party."
Sadie looked at me. "Alyx, right?" OK, so she knew my name. I smiled
and nodded. She looked at me, "you don't need to prep or anything,
right? Let's just get to it." I imagined she wanted to get back to
whatever angry email she was composing.
The assistant said, "OK, from right after Sadie says 'no.'" And he
pointed. Probably as close to directing as he was going to get.
"I just don't understand why you won't let me go," I said.
"It's not for you to understand. The answer is no," she said matter-of-
factly. "So, go to your room..."
"You CAN'T tell me what to do," I said, glaring back at her. "Everyone
else is going to the party." I could feel myself getting angry again.
"You don't want me to have any life," I complained. "You want me to be
just like you and I'm not!" I stomped my foot and started to walk away.
Sadie followed me and put her hand on me. She was about four inches
taller. She spun me around, and glared at me. "You do NOT walk away
from me, Kristina." The look in her eyes scared me.
I kept my cool and stared right back at her. "I will do whatever I
want, MOM." 'Mom' still sounded weird to me, like saying, 'Moslem.' "I
am almost sixteen. And I am going to this party."
She kept that same cold glare. "You. Are. Not. Going. Under. Any.
Circumstances." I gulped. I didn't know where I wanted to go before,
but I didn't want to go there now.
But I stuck to the script and smirked. "Fine, MOM! I HATE YOU!" I
yelled, sincerely angry. My character's next scene was climbing out the
window. Every house in every American movie had a trellis, so someone
could sneak down or up. I never understood why, after all these years,
anyone in America with kids still had one.
Sadie stopped and said, with a smile, "I'm satisfied." She looked me up
and down. "She's cute. At least, my ex wasn't bad looking apparently,"
she laughed. Then, she looked at me, while I calmed myself down, "have
you ever seen 'Marathon Man?'" I shook my head. "Dustin Hoffman and
Laurence Olivier. You know them, right?" I nodded. "Before a big scene,
Dustin Hoffman spent two days not sleeping. He comes in looking like
shit. Olivier looks at him and says, 'you should try acting. It's much
easier.' Try acting, Alyx," she said, to laughs from the assistants.
We sat around waiting for Razor to show up. Sadie went back to her
phone, although she wasn't typing as furiously. The assistants all ran
around, trying to look busy. One started doing stretches on the barre
along the wall.
I went over to Jacob, "I'm really excited. I hope I get the job. I'd
really like to work with you."
He didn't look up from his phone, "Uh huh."
"So, where are you from originally?"
Still looking at his phone, "Nevada. Near Reno."
"Oh," I said, "I've never been there."
He looked at me for a second, just a second. Those eyes went through
you. "There's not much reason unless you gamble. And you can't, so why
would you?"
Prick. "Right. Got it. See you later, Jacob." He went back to looking
at his phone and gave me a wave. The world's most sarcastic wave.
I plopped down in a chair and thought about texting Becca. It was about
9 AM. She was on her way to Connecticut with Rachel, to film an
assisted living facility for the documentary. I wasn't sure if she was
driving or Rachel, and didn't want to risk it, so I started flicking
through Instagram. I hated Instagram, but at Monica's request, OK
demand, I now had a page '@AlyxL' ('you're 18. How do you not have a
page already?' Then she made her assistant help me set it up). There
wasn't much to see. Shots of me looking studiously casual on the
Brooklyn Bridge, in the park and on the set of commercials. Always on
the set. With the company hashtagged and linked. I was looking at one
of me making duck face at the camera ('getting ready 4 a big day at
@OFunnigans!'). I wanted to vomit. Big Firecracker Pork Chop with Bacon
Garlic Mashed Potato vomit.
Noah plopped down next to me. 'Hey, Alyx."
I smiled, "Hey, Noah. What's going on?"
He looked around, "Nothing. Just waiting. I hate waiting."
"Me too," I said, pulling my legs up to my chest and snuggling in my
hoodie. "I was up at 5:00 this morning to catch the train."
"They didn't send you a car? They sent me one."
I put on a bad upper class accent. "Oh, they sent you a car, did they?"
I teased. Then. "Yup, they sent me the big silver car. Had an E on the
front of it. And it's special. It goes underground."
He rolled his eyes. "Funny. What are you looking at?" He leaned over
and looked at my phone.
I hid it. "Hey! Excuse me!"
He started bouncing around. "What is it? What don't you want me to
see?"
I looked at him. "If I told you what it was, then I'd want you to see
it." God, he was a little pest.
He looked at me. "Is it your boyfriend?" I thought about correcting
him. Then, I thought that might blow his little mind. Then, I thought
he's 12 and an actor. Then, I thought it was none of his business.
"That's it! It's you and your boyfriend. Are they pictures I can't see?
Oooh." By now, some of the assistants were looking at us and smirking.
One had her phone up.
"You're a little pervert," I said, laughing. "Is that what you
automatically think? That I don't want you to see my phone because it's
dirty? Has it ever occurred to you that I don't want you to see because
I just don't?" I looked down at his phone, which was in his hand. I
grabbed it. "Let's see what nasty," and I pronounced the 'a' in a very
long tone - nahsty - "things you're looking at." The crew was giggling.
Noah looked at me and said, "Give it back."
I smiled, "No. Let's see what Noah is doing that he shouldn't be."
He reached over and said, "Give it back. Give it back." Then he paused
and smirked. "It doesn't matter. You can't open it. You don't have the
code." I quickly grabbed his hand and put his thumb on the home screen.
I smiled. "See?" I looked. It was just games. I looked at him. He
looked hurt.
"Are you happy now?" he mumbled.
I put my arm around him. "I'm sorry, Noah. You started." I held out my
phone. "You wanna see what I was looking at? For real?"
He looked down at his phone. "No."
"You can, if you want. It's OK." I didn't know why I felt bad for him.
He started.
He took my phone without looking at me. Then, he looked at me and
smirked. "Instagram? You didn't want me to see your Instagram?" Out of
the corner of my eye, I saw Jacob smirking. Bastard. Then he looked,
"And this isn't even your real Instagram."
"Sorry, what? My real Instagram? As opposed to what?"
He looked at me with disdain. "This is your work Instagram. It's
obvious. What girl would tag O'Funnigan's and," he flicked through, "an
insurance company? Duh." I must've looked like an idiot. I felt like
one and he continued, taking his phone back. "See, there's @RealNoahS
for work," and he showed me on set pictures and him with
#JenniferLawrence. "And @ZombieHunter7783, which is private." That was
him and a couple of other twelve year boys doing twelve year old boy
things - stupid faces, sticking up the camera and one with his pants
down ('its a new moon!!!!). "What's your private account?"
"I don't have one," I said.
"C'mon. You can friend me. Then we can friend each other."
"I told you. I don't have one. I'm serious." I really didn't. I
probably should have. But I didn't. Noah had such a desperate look on
his face that I was going to create one just for him. "Look at my
phone. That's it."
He scrolled through. "Huh. I thought all girls had Instagram pages."
Then, he looked at the games folder. "Fruit Ninja? Who still plays
Fruit Ninja?"
I felt myself turn red. "I like Fruit Ninja. It's fun."
He snorted and mimicked swiping at fruit, looking like he'd grown up
chewing the lead in pencils. "Sure. When I was 5."
"Wisearse. What do you play?" He took out his phone and showed me a
game 'Dragon Hills 2.' Fighting a zombie apocalypse on a metal dragon.
He was right. It was fun. I made a mental note to download it. About
fifteen minutes later, I felt someone looking over my shoulder, then a
hand.
"Hiya teen queen." It was Razor. Today wearing a different baseball cap
and plaid shirt. Both as grungy as the last time I saw him, but
different.
"Um, hi. I didn't hear you come in." That was brilliant.
He smiled, that lupine grin. "Obviously." He looked at Noah. "Heya,
mouth. You and Alyx here having a good time?" Somehow, the way he said
made me feel dirty. At least, he knew my name.
Noah smiled, "she's OK."
"Thanks for the compliment," I laughed.
Alex
It was the first really hot day of summer, humid and miserable. I'd
chosen to wear cargo shorts and a t-shirt. My hair was too short to tie
back into a ponytail and too long and the cut too feminine to pass as
male. I borrowed one of Becca's baseball caps and tucked my hair away
the best I could. Underneath the baggy t-shirt, I'd bound down my
breast forms. In the heat the bandages were itching me even before I'd
left the building.
The train was the worst. The air conditioner having broken down in my
car. Although it took three stops, I eventually got a seat, taking off
the hat to wipe my brow. With sweat pouring down my brow I decided to
leave it off. Looking at the clock on my phone I could see I was
already late. I was ashamed to say I didn't know any of Tom's mates.
When the four of us got together, it was usually around some industry
thing or as couples.
I was daydreaming when the train pulled into the station I needed. I
had to jump up and push through the people already getting on to get
out. One jerk stood still, forcing me to squeeze past and rubbing up
against him as I did. I looked at him hoping he'd move but he just
smirked. I wanted to slap him, but I had no time to waste on him.
It was only when the door closed behind me that I realised I'd left
Becca's hat on the train. Shit. I watched it disappear knowing there
was nothing I could do. I ran my hand through my hair. Great, I must
have looked weird. Half boy, half girl. And to top that my hair was
plastered to my head. I went to the station bathroom and splashed some
water over it. It didn't help much.
A business man came in and gave me a look. That's when I realised my
choice of the men's room hadn't been the best idea. I hurried out, my
face redder than before.
The sun had brought everyone out on the streets. As a 5 foot 4 inch
tall guy, I was used to feeling lost in a crowd. With a girl's haircut
and bound breasts, it only got worse. Not only was I lost in the trees,
but half those trees were looking down at me.
The bar was in Chelsea. The front opened onto the street and I could
hear the noise from up the street. It took me a while to spot Tom. He
had to wave for me to see him over the crowd.
"Hey!" I said and embraced him.
"Hey Alex, you made it." He smiled, slightly less embarrassed by my hug
than usual. He slapped the back of a tall guy with short hair standing
next to a shorter guy. "This is Jon and Phil. They both work with me at
the firm," 'the firm' was what they called the tech start-up that
employed them. "This is Jon's friend Aaron." Aaron was a short Asian
guy, something like thirty years old with thick glasses.
I smiled, "Nice to meet you all. Thank you for letting me join you."
Phil looked me up and down and mumbled, "I didn't know we were bringing
girlfriends..."
Tom said, "Alex isn't my girlfriend, you tool. Alex's girlfriend Becca
and Chloe went to film school together."
Aaron rolled his eyes, "So you up for Laser Quest, Alex?"
"Absolutely." I bobbed my head up and down uncertainly.
The Laser Tag was at Chelsea Piers, three long avenues away. With their
longer strides, Tom, Jon and Phil quickly got ahead of us. Aaron walked
next to me, his hands deep in his pockets, "So what do you do, Alex?
You in school?" That was the first question all New Yorkers asked. Not
where are you from. What do you do?
"Nope. I'm done with school."
"Wow, that's cool that your parents didn't push you to go to college.
Mine, had me down for grad school while I was still in elementary," he
laughed. "So, what are you doing?"
Shit, I realized, he thought I was a kid. "I'm an actor," I looked down
at the floor. He had picked up his speed, possibly seeing the others
had stopped at a traffic light. I was having trouble keeping up with
him.
"Have I seen you in anything?" Every actor's least favorite question.
At least now, I had an answer other than a play in the basement of St.
Loyola's in Elmhurst.
"I've done a few commercials. Mutual Haven Insurance, P.J.
O'Funnigans..." He made a face, "Star Jewelry..."
"Cool. I don't watch a lot of TV. Maybe that's why I haven't seen you
before." I shrugged. "Have you ever played with these guys before?" I
shook my head. The traffic light had changed and any chance we'd catch
them had disappeared. "They get kind of into it," he laughed. "It's
like their version of touch football, I think. That and they get to
play out their sci-fi fantasies."
"Got it. So, is it like home? Teams? Run around and shoot each other?
Last man standing wins?" We were near the door now. Tom and the other
were waiting for us.
He laughed, "Not exactly. They play this game they call 'prisoner.'
Basically, one person is the prisoner and the other guys...people on
their team have to rescue them. If you get rescued before the other
team kills your guys, winners get to pick the prisoner for the next
round.
The entrance was pretty scuzzy. A few posters showing inexplicably
happy and well-adjusted people playing the game. Decor that someone at
head office probably thought was Blade Runner on a budget, and a
reception table. A young man with a prominent Adam's apple took us into
a side room and gave us our vests, helmets and guns. He spent some time
adjusting my vest as it didn't sit well. I could feel myself blush when
he explained that 'um...your...um...,' as he avoided looking right at
my breasts, 'get in the way.' He tried to be nice, apologizing that,
'they...uh...y'know...it's because not as many women play.' I didn't
need to look to know Tom was smirking. The others were already waiting
for me when I re-joined them in the entrance.
Waiting for us were five new guys. One of them was big with a beard, he
seemed to be their leader and designated spokesperson.
"You The Quick and the Dead?" He asked.
Tom stepped forward. "Yeah, you guys Kill Van Kull?" He stretched out
his hand and they shook on it.
"So we're playing the usual rules. League game. Prisoner. Ref's word is
final." He nodded at the young guy with the Adam's Apple who shrugged,
clearly bored.
They tossed to see who went first. Kill Van Kull called it.
"OK, we'll take her." The Big Guy pointed a meaty finger at me.
Tom looked at me as if to say sorry. I just shrugged.
Adam's Apple explained the rules. "The objective is to return the
captive." He spoke to us, then turned to Kill Van Kull. "No hurting
her, tying her up. Don't laugh, you wouldn't believe the shit some
people try to pull. No taking the captive out of the War Zone," which
meant a room filled with a jungle gym and dry ice, "Nothing stopping
her from speaking, but also no calling out," the last bit aimed at me.
"You've got half an hour to free her/stop them from freeing her. Then
we change over followed by a third decider match, if necessary. Oh, and
I can't stress this enough, you can't just shoot your captive when
their team gets close. If she gets hit in friendly fire, you win. You
kill her, they do. And we know what shot came from what gun." He then
reeled off a long list of health and safety rules that I'm pretty sure
no one listened to.
"Give me your gun." It took a moment for me to realise he meant me.
"What?"
"The captive doesn't get a gun. Sorry, you'll get it back for the next
match."
I sighed. What fun. Before we left the room, they all put their hands
together. Big Guy said, "On three." He counted down and they all went
"Kill Van Kull" and clapped.
The big guy singled for me to follow him. Kill Van Kull were going into
the War Zone first. To give them time to hide me.
"What did you go for the girl for?" A younger looking guy with purple
hair said to the big guy. "I thought we said we'd pick their best
player."
"We don't know she isn't their best," his dismissive tone suggesting he
thought not, "Anyway, I picked her because she's clearly the tall guy's
girlfriend. He'll be pissed and not thinking right."
"I'm not his girlfriend, creep. Actually I have..."
"Sure, whatever. Boyfriend, girlfriend or you just make those Bambi
eyes at each other. Same thing." He wasn't looking at me but at his
purple haired friend. "You got the top?"
Purple hair pulled something that looked a little like a black
rectangle of fabric out of his back pocket.
"Whoa, whoa! You heard what the man said. No kinky shit!" I put my
hands up in protest.
The big guy looked at me. "Don't be stupid. It's a pillowcase with
holes cut in it for your arms and neck. It covers up the lights on your
vest."
"That's got to be against the rules!" I protested.
"It doesn't stop the guns from shooting you so no. The only rule is you
can't block them with clothing." He pushed the pillowcase into my
hands. "Get it on, Bambi." Then he turned to Purple Hair. "You know the
plan, keep her moving around the perimeter. They'll be looking for her
in the spaceship ruins."
I looked at the oversized metal climbing frame in the centre of the
room. Even with the dried ice being pumped out, it didn't look all that
impressive. Their plan wasn't a bad one though. There was a pathway
running around the perimeter, presumably meant so the staff could get
around easily, in case of trouble. With the lights on my vest obscured
they might just get away with it.
Purple Hair took my hand. I pulled away, "You don't want to trip," he
explained. I would have told him to fuck off, but then I thought of the
filming starting in two weeks. I didn't want to lose the role because
of a broken nose.
There was an electronic countdown, then the music started. I could just
about hear Tom shouting instructions to the rest of The Quick and the
Dead. Purple Hair pulled me gently and we set off on our trek.
For the first ten minutes or so, I hoped that their plan would fall
apart. I wasn't exactly hidden. All it would take would be for one of
our team to stumble on us. But pretty soon, I realised that wasn't
going to happen. I could hear shouts and shots being fired. They were
all coming from the direction of the spaceship.
"We've got snipers positioned at the top of each tower." Purple Hair
gestured. I nodded glumly, it didn't look like we stood a chance. Just
after the halfway alarm sounded, we heard shooting close to us. Purple
Hair pushed me against the wall while he looked around. I had a couple
of minutes. In rehearsals, you had to be quiet and still for long
periods of time, while other actors went through their scenes. Thanks
to this, I'd got pretty good at surreptitious texting. I slipped my
phone out of my pocket. I only had time to get off two words;
'Perimeter' and 'Moving'.
The clock was counting down the last two minutes and everything had
gone quiet. I'd started to worry they'd got my whole team. Then it
happened. It was Aaron who jumped out, his little round face grinning.
Purple Hair had time to duck and I hit the floor, remembering what
Adam's Apple had said about crossfire. Purple Hair didn't have time get
out of the way of Tom, who was waiting behind us. I heard him curse as
his vest vibrated.
Aaron took my hand, "Let's get to the door."
"Hey," shouted out Purple Hair, "They've got the girl!"
"You little sneak!" Tom protested. "You're supposed to be dead." We
ran. Around us I could hear Kill Van Kull shouting. They sounded pissed
off. Clearly they'd been expecting a win. We reached the door as the
final seconds counted down. The big guy and another of his teammates
were blocking our way.
"This is bullshit!" Tom protested. As We Are the Champions played over
the sound system, Adam's Apple re-joined us.
"What's going on?"
"The idiot with the purple hair shouted out. He was dead. Can't you
check your records?"
Adam's Apple sighed. I doubted this was the first such disagreement he
had to deal with. Probably wasn't even the first that day. "That only
records when and who shot."
"Look at this!" I grabbed at the pillow case they'd made me wear. The
Big Guy glared at me. I moved behind Tom slightly.
"It's not against the rules. It doesn't stop the guns connecting with
the pads on the vest!" He protested. I could see Adam's Apple didn't
like it.
"No, but you can't see the lights!" I must have looked dumb, pointing
from behind my friend. But I could see my argument had impressed our
referee.
"She's got a point. The game goes to The Quick and the Dead!"
For a second I thought the Big Guy was going to charge me. "We should
take him." I pointed at the Big Guy. "He makes all their decisions."
I was shot in the first five minutes. Three of the Kill Van Kulls
cornered me, then Purple Hair shot me in the front grinning like a
bloody Cheshire Cat. I went to the waiting area where Adam's Apple was
checking a broken gun. "Tough luck." He commiserated with me.
"Bollocks. They went after me." I slumped on one of the benches taking
out my phone.
"Nothing against it in the rules." He shrugged, not really looking.
There were TV monitors on one wall where he was half-heartedly watching
the game. "Kill Van Kull takes it seriously. They've gotten to the
playoffs the last two seasons."
"Huh," I took out my phone and started playing the space dragons game
Noah had shown me. At least there I could put up a good fight.
About five minutes from the end of the allotted time the doors burst
open. It was the Big Guy and Purple Hair. They both smirked at me. Tom
came after them limping.
"It got a bit physical." Tom explained to me as I jumped up. Adam's
Apple looked worried.
"Just an accident, in the dark," the Big Guy grinned. I looked at Tom
who just shrugged. No one wants to be a tell-tale.
For the last game they picked me as the captive. Again. "Oh, fuck it!"
I half threw my gun at Adam's Apple. I hadn't even fired off one shot
the whole day.
This time they picked a good hiding place. At the bottom of one of the
towers. "I'm not getting in there." At the base of the tower there was
just enough space for me to crawl into.
"You have to." Purple Hair looked amused. "It's not outside the War
Zone. You're supposed to do what we say." And then, just as I got down
on my knees, he added. "Give us your phone as well."
I grunted, passed him the phone and started trying to get into the
space. I was half way in when Purple Hair commented, "Nice ass. Shame
your boyfriend is that lanky piece of crap." I turned and shot him a
dirty look. His comment was too close to the one from YouTube. I was
creeped out and spent the rest of the game curled up just wanting it
over.
Sadly I got my wish. We lost, badly. With the Big Guy at the top of the
tower and having clear sights in all directions, he was able to pick my
teammates off one by one. They were like soldiers at the Somme. In the
changing rooms afterwards, the Big Guy couldn't help but gloat. Tom
took it well but Aaron looked like he was going to go the full-Trump
and lose his shit.
"That's just such bullshit," Aaron whined, taking off his glasses and
rubbing them clean with his shirt. "They cheat and we get fucked. They
put that vest on her," he said, pointing at me. "And they ambush us.
And we get fucked. This hurts us for the playoffs."
Phil smirked, "Us. Right. Look man, it's a game, we'll get them next
time." Then, he looked at me seriously. "They didn't do anything to
you, did they?"
It took me a second to figure out what he meant. "No. No No No." I
shuddered for a second, which got smiles from the group, especially
Tom. Then I laughed, "It's Laser Tag, not the South Sudan, Phil. There
are cameras. They were just crass."
He smiled, "Good. Glad to hear it. Don't want you to give a bad report
to Chloe, do we Tom?"
"Fuck off, dick weed," Tom laughed. He looked at Aaron, who still
looked pissed off. "Dude, relax," he said, giving Jon the 'what's his
problem' look. "After a hard day's war, I could use a beer. There's a
bar downstairs. Who's in?"
We all went downstairs and went into the bar. Kill Van Kull was sitting
in the bar, smirking.
"Look who it is," the Big Guy said, "Slow and the Dead." To which his
team laughed. "Sorry about your girlfriend," he said to Tom. Then, he
looked at me, "If you want to hang with some winners..." I thought,
you're losers who bring things to cheat. At Laser Tag. Which is mostly
played at birthday parties. By ten year olds. But I realized where I
was. And who I was.
I looked him up and down. "I'll pass, thank you. And I told you
already. He's not my boyfriend." I moved back towards the group.
Tom looked at the big guy and said, "Whatever, man. Relax. Lay off Alex
though. Not cool."
The guy said, in a stupid voice, "Not cool," then "Losers."
Tom rolled his eyes and the group walked over to a table out of
earshot. He said, "Phil and I will get the drinks. Bud good for
everyone?"
Jon looked at me. "Are you old enough to drink, babe?"
Don't call me babe, I thought. That and I wish I had worn the star.
Never mind, I wouldn't do that to Tom. "I've had a beer or two before,
Jon," which brought laughs from Phil and Aaron, and a smirk from Tom.
Phil looked at me. "So, Aaron says you're an actress?"
I thought about correcting him, then decided it wasn't worth it. If I
said I was an actor, I was either going to be seen as trans, which
wasn't true, or a pretentious bitch, which wasn't true either but was
less of a problem for Tom. I smiled, "Guilty as charged," which got a
smile from him.
"Seriously. A for real actress, huh?" Sort of, I supposed. "Have I seen
you in anything?"
I heard Aaron mutter, "I'd like to see her in nothing."
To which Jon replied, laughing,"'I can't take you anywhere. Ignore
these tools."
"Um, I've been a couple of commercials. Mutual Haven Insurance,
O'Funnigan's, Star Jewelry."
Jon looked at me and said, in a voice that was just a little too loud,
"I thought that was you. You're the girl on the couch. Holy shit! That
is so cool." I wondered why he remembered that one.
Just then, Tom walked over, carrying a pitcher and some plastic cups.
"Jesus, dude, calm down. It's just commercials," he flashed me a look.
I looked at him. "Three more commercials than you, Tommy Boy," which
brought laughs from his friends.
Jon looked at me, "So, why the hell are you hanging around with this
loser?" I could feel him looking down my t-shirt. Or trying to.
"He's cool," I said, for lack of anything better. Tom poured the beers
and passed them around.
Jon handed it to me, "Ladies first." I nodded and lifted my cup and
gave Tom a look. He held up his hands slightly, palms up.
Phil, Tom and Jon started talking about work, which left me with Aaron.
Who was still sulking about Laser Tag.
"They cheat," I said. "There's nothing you can do about it."
"Whatever," he mumbled. "We should've won. We could've won. You saw
what I could do."
I couldn't decide at whom that was actually directed. "You did..uh,
great. Thanks for saving me."
"You're welcome. Why exactly did you come today?" I raised my eyebrows
and he said, "That's not what I meant."
"What did you mean?" I took a sip of my beer. "I could ask you the same
question."
"Sorry, sorry. I just meant how come you're hanging around a bunch of
guys?"
"I like Laser Tag. And Tom invited me."
"Oh," he said, drinking his beer. "Jon invited me, so there you go."
As we were talking, the waitress walked past. Phil looked at her and
said, "Damn. If I wasn't with Megan..."
Jon looked at him, then me. "Dude..."
Phil mumbled, "Sorry, Alex."
"It's fine. She was beautiful." I felt oddly annoyed at the way the
others watched her walk away.
"Yeah, but still," and then he went quiet. He looked in the corner and
saw the air hockey table. "Anyone up for a game?"
Jon looked at me and said, "Yeah, I'm in." Aaron picked up his beer and
walked over with them, leaving just me and Tom.
"So," I said.
"So." He drank his beer. "Glad you came." I wasn't sure if that was a
comment or a question.
"Thanks," I looked over at the bar, where thankfully Kill Van Kull was
settling their tab. "What fucking assholes."
He laughed, "I know. Seriously. Who brings a fucking costume for the
prisoner? I'm so glad that they didn't do anything to you. How ever
could I explain to Chloe that they took your virtue?"
I smiled, "Blow. Me."
He looked at me and said, "Not. Happening. What's with the outfit?"
I looked at him. He was wearing cargo shorts and a t shirt. "Got a
mirror? What's that about?"
He looked over at the guys at the table. "Shit. Sorry, I didn't mean
anything...how's it going, by the way? The project, I mean."
"It's going." It wasn't. I had about fifty hours of footage showing
that men were pigs. "We've both been busy."
"I've heard," he said. He whispered, "Between you and me, Chloe's
really pissed."
"About what?" I took a sip of my beer.
"At Becca. She feels like she's ditching her constantly."
I thought for a second. "I could see that. I'm kinda tired of Rachel
too." He looked at me. "I assume that's it, right?" He nodded and then
zipped his lip and I did too.
Just then, Aaron called over. "Hey, Tom, you up for a game?"
Tom looked at me and I said, "Go ahead. I'll watch the table." He went
over and started playing. I watched the four guys play and harass each
other for fifteen minutes. They switched back and forth who was
playing, none of them giving me a second glance. I started playing
with my phone. I thought about taking a selfie and posting it to
Instagram, with the caption 'Bored out of my skull at #chelseapiers.'
After fifteen minutes, they came back. "Thanks for watching the table,
Alex," Jon said. "I hope you weren't bored."
I smiled and nodded. "I was fine. You're lucky. I was about to finish
off the pitcher," I joked.
Tom leaned over and said, "I meant to tell you. Chloe's really excited
for the weekend."
Aaron looked, "What weekend?"
Tom looked at me and I shrugged. Go ahead, I thought. "It's nothing.
'Rents are headed away next weekend to Europe for like a month and
asked us to keep an eye on the place. So, Chloe and Alex and Becca are
going up for a long weekend. Chill on the lake and all."
"Cool," Jon said. "We have a wedding in Brewster Saturday afternoon.
Any chance we could change at your place? That way, we don't have to
sit in the car all dressed up the whole way."
Tom looked at me again. Still I shrugged. "Sure, no problem." Jon
thanked him and gave him a high five.
Aaron said, "hey, any chance I could crash with you? I'm supposed to be
scouting out a location in Mt. Kisco that Saturday..."
Tom looked at his beer. "Um, I really need to clear it with Chloe.
Y'know, um, because..."
"Dude, it's your parent's house. And I'm sure it's huge. You won't even
see me. And it's not like you're married. Grow a set. No offense,
Alex." I wasn't offended. Not at that, at least. "You don't mind, do
you Alex?"
"I, uh, it's not really my decision to make. I'm just a guest." I
looked at Tom as if to will him to say no.
He didn't. "I really have to clear it with Chloe. I'll let you know."
I felt nauseous. My last weekend of freedom potentially gone. "Excuse
me for a second. I have to..." And I walked to the bathroom, carrying
my backpack. This time, I remembered the 'correct' door.
A woman standing at the mirror caught my eye, "You look awful." I
smiled weakly. She laughed, "I didn't mean that the way it came out..."
I meant to laugh, but probably pouted a little, "I hope not."
"I just meant, is everything OK?"
Where to begin. "It's..fine. I was here with a friend and his friends.
And my friend let slip that we were going away." I must have sounded
like a complete idiot.
She looked at me and grinned. I couldn't look at her. "No, no, no. Oh
god, not that. Him and his girlfriend and me and mine. And one of his
friends, who's a total pig, just invited himself along and my friend
didn't say no..."
She looked at me. "So don't go."
I shrugged, "It's not that simple. I mean, his girlfriend and mine are
friends from film school and Chloe, that's his girlfriend, is, I think,
pissed at mine because she feels like mine is leaving her flat..." I
heard myself talking but it felt like it was coming from someplace
else, someone else. "Becca, my girlfriend, has been moving up at work
and she's been kind of talking non-stop about how great her boss is..."
She said, "Oh, one of those situations."
"Yeah. So I think if we cancelled..."
She said, "Yeah, that would."
I splashed some water on my face and started rummaging through my bag
for my hairbrush. I looked in the mirror. "This looks like a rat's
nest," I said, brushing it. "Oh, also, I've been really looking forward
to the weekend. It's a house on a lake and I'm going to go kayaking.
So, I'm being a little selfish." I looked down into my bag and saw a
tube of lip gloss. And my compact. What the fuck, I thought. And I
debated putting it on, and taking off my binding. But, I didn't.
She said, "Go for it. Well, I should get back to my table."
"Me too. Thanks for listening."
Tom was waiting by the bar. He smiled. "So, what is it? You go in there
and it takes three times as long, no matter what?"
I laughed. "The open bar is really cool. And the massages. I think I'm
going to head out."
"You sure?" He said it with an air of concern, but his eyes betrayed
him, showing relief. My acting training was good for lots of things.
"I think I've, uh, taken up enough of everyone's time. Go have fun with
the guys," I said. "Give them my goodbyes. I'll tell Becca to call
Chloe and make plans for the trip up." I assumed that we would go in
Tom's car. I went to shake his hand.
He surprised me and gave me a hug. "See you next weekend. Get home
safely."
Becca
We had just come back from a job, a training film for Pepsi up in
Purchase. Honestly, training films are boring as hell. I'm sure whoever
has to watch them finds them interesting, but I don't. Plus, couple it
with the fact that they have actual employees in them and it's painful.
Half won't look at the camera and the other half ham it up. There was
one blonde woman who reminded me of Alex, the same big blue eyes, the
same willowy build. She was wearing a red dress that reminded me of one
he had worn in a commercial.
We were logging the equipment back in when Louise's assistant came
over. "Hey, Rachel. Hey, Becca. Louise wants to see you."
"Uh, about what?" I said. She just shrugged and walked away. I had been
doing well, I thought. Rachel was basically using me as a DP on the
training shoots. Again, not my first choice, but I had begun putting
together a reel for future use.
She shook her head, "Beats me. She's not pissed though, which should be
good."
We walked into her office. "Sit down," she said. I looked around the
office. Her desk was immaculate, just a couple of papers neatly stacked
and three pens in a cup. The shelves were lined with awards, mostly
trade stuff but a couple of Emmys. I turned my head, trying to look
without it showing. I failed, because she said, laughing, "Outstanding
Cinematography in a Special. That's what you're trying to read, isn't
it?" Rachel laughed and I felt about three inches tall. Louise
continued, "I would've done the same thing at your age. Good. It means
you're aspiring to something. You are, aren't you?"
"Of course," I said. "That's the goal." I decided to shoot for a joke.
"I mean, an Oscar would be good too."
Louise looked at Rachel and smiled, "I'm sure. A golden man. You've got
the golden girl already, I hear."
Rachel looked at Louise. "You'd love Alyx. She's adorable." Oh. Oh
shit. "An actress."
Louise said, "Really?"
I fumbled. "No, she really is. A working actress. She's done a few
commercials. Mutual Haven, P.J. O'Funnigans, Star Jewelry." OK, calm
down, Becca. Stop babbling, I thought. "And she just got a part in a
movie. Razor Ranalli's movie." I saw Rachel's face contort. I should
have just said a movie. But, if I said that, Louise would ask what
movie. And then I'd still have an answer. And Rachel knew already
anyway.
Louise smiled. "Oh, that's your Alyx. Mark is absolutely in love with
her. Said she's so chill." She rolled her eyes. "Tell her to be
careful."
"I'm not worried," I said. "She can handle herself."
"She sounds like quite a girl, Rebecca. Which is why I brought you two
in here. We're having a party at the apartment this weekend. Some of
the investors will be there, and some people from the mayor's film
office. I think it would be good for you two be there. With Trish and
Alyx of course. Annie will give you the details," she finished. "Becca,
tell Alyx cocktail. She'll know what it means."
Annie gave us the information and we walked back to the equipment.
"This is a good thing right, Rachel?"
She looked at me. "It's fine. I've been before. It's fun. And her place
is amazing. She's the only person I know who doesn't say, 'I like my
place but we could use more space.' Anyway, I'm glad you guys will be
there."
I took the train home and thought about it. I didn't see Annie giving
info to any of the other people at my level. This could be my chance. A
private audience with the big boss. Or semi-private at least.
Alex wasn't home when I got there. He had a fitting with the costume
supervisor. I had begged him to send me pictures but he wouldn't.
He walked in an hour after me. He was wearing his default on-set
uniform of leggings and one of my fleece pullovers which looked better
on him than me.
"What's that smell?" He asked.
"Chicken with twenty cloves of garlic," I replied as sweetly as I
could.
He walked into the kitchen. "You do know the difference between a clove
and a bulb, right?"
"Thanks Alex. Of course, I do." The recipe online had a picture, thank
you very much. "Guess what happened today at work?" Before he could
answer, I continued, "Louise invited you and me and Rachel and Trish to
a party at her house. This weekend, just us. None of the other grunts!
How cool is that?"
He hugged me, his breasts pressing up on me, which had stopped feeling
weird, and kissed me. "Wow! That is amazing! I am so proud of you!" He
kissed me again and I could taste his lipstick.
"Thanks. I couldn't have done it without you." Which, based on the
invite, was true. "It's with some of the investors and people from the
Mayor's Film Council. This could be huge for me, for us!"
"You don't have to sell me," he laughed. Um, let's see about that.
"What do you wear to something like this?"
"Louise said cocktail," I said as innocently as I could.
He said, "Great." He sounded resigned. "At least the star brooch will
work. Easy enough to pass it off"
I paused and looked over his shoulder. I took a deep breath. "I don't
think you should wear the brooch."
"What?" He looked confused. I remember thinking how pretty he looked,
even though I knew we were heading towards a big argument.
"We need to be clever, Alex. To think about the bigger picture. Getting
the documentary distributed as well as made."
He folded his arms. "You always said we could put it up on the
Internet. Distribute it ourselves."
OK, I had to play this right. "I know Alex, but that was before..."
"Before what?" He did look good angry. I'd overheard one of the
production assistants working on Razor's film describing him as a 'pair
of sad blue eyes'. They weren't wrong.
"Before I saw how good you are. How fast you've moved up the ladder." I
put a hand on his arm, rubbing it slightly. He didn't move away. "How
fearless you've been in uncovering this shit. Not many men would do
that. It'd be a waste to leave the film unnoticed on YouTube apart from
comments by Dick Splat 92." OK, mentioning YouTube was a low blow, but
I knew his hatred of the site would work for me.
"No fucking way, Rebecca. Absolutely no fucking way. If I'm doing this,
then it's for a reason."
I got annoyed. "What's the big deal? Of course there's a reason."
"Are you on something? More of Rachel's coke, is that it?"
I got myself annoyed. "Don't bring her into this. Answer the question.
What's the big deal? And what about Rachel's film? What would happen to
that if we suddenly admitted what we're doing." I could see he wanted
to say something when I mentioned Rachel, but I plowed on. "These are
allies, Alex. They could help us get recognition, distribution. You
deserve awards for this. Recognition at least." I had hold of both of
his arms now. It was all I could to to stop myself shaking him.
He mumbled, "It's. Fine."
I smiled and kissed him hard. "Thank you! I know this isn't what you
planned but I promise that I will make it up to you." I started kissing
his neck and he gave a soft gurgle of appreciation. "Any way, any time,
any place."
He leered, which looked kind of silly with him all made up. "Anything?"
I nodded. "Swinging from the chandelier?" This was our joke. We had a
fixture over the table that hung by two thin wires. If you bumped it,
it looked like it was going to fall off. "Fine," he sighed. "So what is
it I'm supposed to wear?"
"You could wear the black dress from EnHerGy?" He looked gorgeous in
that. I loved the way it showed off his breasts and legs.
His response shocked me. "No," he said vehemently. "Not that."
"Why? You look great in it."
He looked me in the eye. "No. I said no. And if you ask again, I'm not
going." He started to breathe - shallow, rapid breaths.
I realized why. "I'm so sorry, Allie," which slipped out. He was so
upset that thankfully he didn't notice. "I will never mention it again.
In fact, let's throw it out." He nodded, his eyes a little wet. "It's
OK, bunny. I wasn't thinking. Maybe I have something..."
"Then, what will you wear?"
I hadn't thought about that. Dress? Pants? I didn't really have any
cocktail-appropriate suits. My interview suit wasn't really
appropriate. We couldn't both wear cocktail dresses though. I'd figure
it out. We went to my closet and took out a black not quite mini dress
I had worn to my cousin Claire's wedding. It had a criss crossing back.
Alex put it on and it looked ridiculous. Given the difference in our
heights and the fact he was thinner and less hippy, it looked
ridiculous. It was swimming on him, which did nothing for my ego. I
realized that nothing I had would fit him. We sat for a little while,
when I said, "I could call Chloe and see if she has something." They
were about the same size.
He laughed and then said, "you're serious, aren't you? No."
"What's the big deal? She knows about this."
He picked up the phone. 'Hey Chloe, it's Alex. We have this big party
and I don't have a thing to wear," and he fluttered his hand. "Also,
can you pick up some tampons? It's that time of the month."
"Oh god, Alex. That's gross."
"That's not the point."
"Do you have a better answer?" Before he could answer, I said, "see?
You don't. Let me call."
An hour later, Chloe came over with a handful of dresses. "You know how
weird this is, guys..."
Alex gave me a look so I glared at Chloe, then said, "I told you how
important this is, Chlo. Thank you for doing this." I couldn't believe
she said that and thought about saying something. Then, I realized that
I, we needed her now.
Alex thanked her and said, "please tell me Tom doesn't know about
this."
She looked at him and gave him a soft smile, "don't worry. He's working
late." I looked at her and mouthed, 'thanks.' Alex sighed happily and
she looked at him, "so I brought you a couple of choices. Are you
planning on fishnets again?"
He looked upset and then said quietly, "I'm done with that. Please
don't mention it again." Chloe looked at me like she was blaming me,
like I was somehow responsible.
"It's OK," she said. "Never again. So, anyway, I brought these three,"
she said. The first was long, about knee length with a v neck. She held
it up to Alyx. "I don't know. I think it's a little too, I don't know,
grown up for you."
Alex rolled his eyes. "I'm only two years younger than you."
She laughed and said, "but Alyx is 18, remember? You'll look like
you're trying to fake your way into a club." Then, she said, "there's
this one." It looked a lot like my dress, just the back was a little
different, the stitching a little more visible. "Go try it on."
Alex took the dress and went into the bedroom. I followed him in. He
undressed and was standing there in his bra and panties. If Chloe
wasn't there, I would have thrown him on the bed. He put the dress on
and I helped him with the catch at the top. I went to kiss his neck and
he pulled away, "I'm still not happy, Becca. I'm doing it because it's
important for you, but I am most definitely not happy."
I looked in the mirror and saw us standing there, me in my t shirt and
him in the dress. He looked beautiful and I almost told him. Instead, I
said, "I know. But I really do appreciate it."
"Uh huh," he said, looking around. "There they are," he said, taking
out his 3" heels. I looked at him, and he said, exasperated, "she may
as well see how it looks with heels."
We came out and Chloe laughed, "wow. I'm not sure what I think." Alex
looked at her, worried, and she said, "you look better in it than I do.
But it looks really good." Alex blushed and smiled, which got a raised
eyebrow and look from Chloe, who handed him the last dress, a black
sheath, with a plunging neckline. Not too plunging, since Chloe wasn't
well endowed. "Go and be quick," she said, shooing him. I went to
follow him and Chloe said, "hold up Becca."
I sat down next to her. "What's up?"
She looked at me. "I was gonna ask you the same thing?"
"What?"
"He looks miserable. What the hell is going on with you...two?"
I looked at her, taken aback. "What's that supposed to mean? I told you
I have a very important party to which we were both invited and he
didn't have anything to wear and so I called you. If it's such an
imposition, I'll get something from Spence-Chapin..."
"It's not an imposition. On me," she said.
That was totally unnecessary. "Stop it Chloe. It's just a party." I
started to say something about the weekend, about how she left Tom
invite his friend which made it much worse. But, I wasn't going to be
the one to go there. So, I said, "I told him I'd make it up to him.
Anywhere, Anytime, Any way," then I grinned.
She didn't grin. "If it works for you two," she said. Then, she said,
"hey, Alyx. What's taking so long?" Followed by, "now I'm Tom."
Alyx came out. The dress really drew attention to his chest. He shook
his head. "I don't think so. I like the first one better. This is
just...not as good."
Chloe said, "oh definitely. The first one was perfect. You look
absolutely phenomenal in it. You have a black bra, right?" He nodded.
"Ok, so put it on, then put on the dress." He changed and came back
out. "Definitely Allie," and he went back to change.
Then, she turned to me, "so what are you wearing?"
I said, "I dunno. I was trying to decide. I have that blue dress I have
from the awards at film school." It was knee length with short sleeves.
Chloe said it made my hips look smaller and showed off my arms.
She smiled, "yeah, that should work."
"What?" She wasn't saying something.
"Nothing. You two will look perfect together, I'm sure." I kept looking
at her. "Don't give me that look, Bec. Like I said, if you two are
happy, I'm happy. And I'm sure the four of you will have a great time."
I wasn't happy. I didn't like her insinuation or her tone, which I
hadn't liked for weeks. But, the weekend meant a lot to Alex and me. "I
appreciate everything, Chlo. It's just been a long day and I'm scared
and excited about this party. This is a big deal, lots of important
people and I just want it to go perfectly, y'know?"
She said, "I get it, Bec. We've all been on edge lately. And I think
Alex is nervous too. So I'm calling a truce, k?"
I smiled, "Truce." Chloe left, saying she wanted to get home before
Tom, so he didn't ask why she was out with two dresses.
I went into the bedroom and Alex was laying on his back, naked, staring
at the ceiling. I laid down next to him and rubbed his arm, "I'm sorry,
Alex."
He turned and looked at me. I couldn't place the look, not quite cold
but definitely not loving. "I told you it's, I'll be fine."
This was going to be a long few days if he kept going. "It's only a few
hours," I said. He looked at me for what felt like a long time and went
to say something. Then, he stopped and rolled over, turning his back to
me. "I'd like to be alone."
"Come on Alex," I said, putting my arm around his waist and reaching
down. "I told you I would appreciate it."
He moved my hand. "Maybe later." I started to say something about how
he was overreacting, about how it was really no big deal. But I
stopped. I looked at him lying there, in a ball. My beautiful Alex. Who
was doing this for me. It wasn't my place to say that he was
overreacting, even if he was.
I got up and went to the door. In a small voice, I said, "I'll be on
the couch when you're ready."
Alex
The next few days were tense. We slept in the same bed, but we didn't
talk. Well, I didn't. She did. Constantly.
"Alex, come on," she said, on Thursday. "How long are you going to
sulk? I told you I'd make it up to you."
"Becca," I said, looking up from my script. I was trying to figure out
why my character was so angry. "I'm not sulking. I'm working. In two
weeks, I'm going to be on set. On my first movie."
She came over and put her arms around me, which felt good. "I know and
I'm so proud of you..."
I interrupted her. "And I want to show them what I can do, that I'm
prepared. That I can do more than," and I put my hands up to my mouth
and gasped.
She giggled. "I know you can," and she crawled onto my lap, so that she
was facing me. "But you have been ignoring me. And I don't like being
ignored." No shit, I thought. She started kissing me. "Becca, I have
work to do..."
She grinned at me. "So do I. I made you a promise and I'm keeping it,"
she said pulling my shirt over my head, exposing my bra.
I laughed, "I thought I got to choose...."
She smiled and said, pulling down my panties and looking down. "You
did."
--------
Late Saturday afternoon, we were running around, getting ready. I had
gone for a manicure and pedicure that afternoon, and now had pink
fingernails and toenails. It still felt strange to me, to sit in the
chair surrounded by women, while someone massaged my feet and cleaned
them. Not that it didn't feel nice, just strange.
I put on pantyhose. I had debated going bare-legged. From the looks I
got, I had great legs apparently. But, they were good English legs,
pasty white and so black pantyhose it was. I put on the dress and got
made up.
"Red or pink?" I asked Becca.
"Red or pink what?" She was already dressed, having bought a new
designer pantsuit for the party.
"Lipstick," I said, holding the tubes up.
She smiled, "We're going for sophisticated tonight. Red."
I put it on and then gave a twirl. "How do I look?"
She sat mute for a few seconds and then said, "You
look...wow...absolutely...wow."
I smiled, "Is that a good thing?"
She said, "It's a great thing. You are absolutely drop dead gorgeous.
And I owe you big time."
I put my finger, my manicured polished finger, which still looked weird
on my arm, to her lips. "There will be time for that later, Becca. For
now, I'm Alyx, your girlfriend. Understand?" She nodded. "Your
incredibly hot actress girlfriend." I needed to get in my headspace. It
was ridiculous really. Between the commercials and rehearsals, Alyx was
second nature now. But this was different. I had to be Alyx on someone
else's terms.
I had taken Becca's diamond studs, the ones her parents had bought her
when she was 16, and screwed them in. I had fought getting my ears
pierced for a long time but Monica convinced me that it was necessary
if I wanted more parts. I picked up a clutch bag, put my makeup in and
said, "let's go."
She said, "Wait. You need something around your neck." She went to her
jewelry box and took out a thin white gold chain, with an emerald on
it. She undid the clasp and went to put it on me. It reminded me of the
commercial. After it aired, I got two more from them. In one, my
boyfriend and I were in the park and he gave me a bracelet. In the
other, he proposed. In both, I was wearing the same dress as the first.
Apparently, it got a lot of feedback on social media. "That really sets
off your eyes." She took a deep breath. "You smell amazing. What is
that?"
"Coco Madamoiselle," I said.
She looked at me. "Did I have that?"
I smiled. "No, I bought it the other day. I like the way it smells." I
couldn't imagine Becca wearing it. "Come on. Let's go."
We took a cab. We could have taken the train but we decided to treat
ourselves. We figured that we were saving on dinner and drinks, so we
could splurge. The cab dropped us in front of their building. It was
one of those old factory buildings, nothing much to look at. I pictured
my great-grandmother who worked in a factory in Manchester like this
one, sewing clothes, and I wondered what she would think of someone
paying what I'm sure Louise paid to live here. I smiled my biggest
smile, the one I saved for spa chicken sandwiches and cheap jewelry,
and said, "let's go in."
The elevator opened directly into Louise's apartment. "Wow," I
whispered, my eyes going wide. "This is fantastic." Becca just smiled
at me, and took my hand.
An older woman, about 50, came over. She was wearing a black sparkly
top and a long black skirt, both of which were perfectly fitted and
obviously expensive. "Becca," she said, kissing her on both cheeks.
Then, she looked me up and down, appraising me. "And this must be the
lovely Alyx. I've heard so much about you," she said, kissing me on
both cheeks as well.
"All good, I hope," I said, smiling.
Becca said, "Louise Quinn, this is my girlfriend, Alyx Liddell," which
she said a little too easily. "Alyx, this is Louise Quinn. She runs, no
she is the studio."
I smiled, my 'what's this' smile. I held out my hand and shook hers
lightly. "It's lovely to meet you. Thank you for inviting me. You have
a beautiful home." I could feel my accent getting a little stronger.
She smiled and gave Becca a little nod. "Well, you are welcome and
thank you. Please come in, have a drink. Then, I've got some people I'd
like to introduce you to." A man came over, about 50, wearing a dark
gray suit that was clearly made for him. He had dark hair with flecks
of gray, and gray-green eyes. Louise said, "This is Peter, my husband.
Peter, this is Rebecca Scott..." He smiled and shook her hand, telling
her that he'd heard good things about her, which made her smile and
squeeze my hand. "And this is her girlfriend, Alyx Liddell. She's an
actress, in Mark's new film." He gave a knowing grin, then looked me up
and down, lingering on my legs and then my chest. I really wished that
I had worn the star, regardless of what Becca said.
They greeted the next set of guests and we walked around the apartment.
It was the top floor of the building, a full floor, with southern and
western exposures. You could see the Freedom Tower and the Statue of
Liberty. The walls were lined with art and photographs. This was an
apartment where adults lived, successful adults. "Isn't this apartment
magnificent?" I said.
Becca smiled. "You are so cute, Alyx. It's just an apartment," she
said, taking two glasses of champagne.
We were looking at the pictures, specifically of a bruised and bleeding
little girl, when an older couple came over. "So what do you think,"
the man asked me. Or, specifically, my chest.
I said, "the composition is amazing, but it's very jarring, you know.
This poor girl is bleeding, get her a bandage then take her picture."
The man, the woman with him and Becca all laughed.
The man said, "it's a Sally Mann. That's one of her signatures."
Becca said, "Alyx, sweetie, Sally Mann is a famous photographer. Very
controversial, although I don't know why. I've never heard of any of
her children suffering long-time damage."
The woman looked at me and said, "I'm with you, Alyx. I look at the
child and think your child is in pain. Do something. But then," and she
looked at Becca and the man, "you couldn't really expect them to
understand." She put out her hand, "Karyn Grossman. And this is my
husband Robert."
Becca smiled. "I'm Rebecca Scott and this is my girlfriend Alyx
Liddell."
Richard shook her hand and then took mine lightly. "So how do you two
know Louise and Peter?"
Becca said, "I work for Louise's studio. As a director of photography."
Um, sure, I thought, smiling the whole time. "How about you?"
Robert smiled, "Peter and I used to work together a long time ago. At
DB. Now I'm at Credit Suisse. I'm in charge of European markets."
Becca said, "Oh, do you know Vivek Gupta?" Peter smiled and said he did
and Becca continued, "My dad's fund just closed a third round and you
guys were the lead placement on it.". Becca had this lucite block, a
tombstone she called it, from, 'one of my dad's IPOs.'. She said that,
when it closed, he took them all on a trip to England. I imagined they
flew over me.
Karyn looked at me. "These two are boring me. What about you, Alyx?"
"I'm an actress," I said. She smiled and I laughed, "No, I really am.
I've done a bunch," OK, eight, "of commercials and I'm about to shoot
my first film. I leave in a week and a half for the shoot."
She smiled, "Congratulations. That's a great dress, by the way."
"Thank you. So is yours." It reminded me of the dress Chloe said would
have made it look I was trying too hard, but it worked on her.
We chatted for a while with them, looking at the photographs and
talking about the islands. Well, Becca and they did. I could've
contributed; after all, I was from an island. Eventually, Louise came
over and introduced us to another couple. The