Shutter ReleaseChapter 36: Shooting Star free porn video

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The scene at Smith Park, when we pulled in around noon, was rather astonishing. The light scaffolds loomed over the stage, and for a long moment I stood by the car door in complete shock. We’re going to be playing on that... !

“Are you coming, lad?” Tommy asked, having already seized his guitar and equipment bag from the trunk.

I snapped out of it and went to grab my own things. “Yeah. It’s just that ... it looks pretty damn neat, man.”

He grinned. “I’m sure it does. Now let’s go set up!”

Melissa helped by carrying my guitar, and soon we had our equipment sitting on the black stage surface amidst coils of cables, direct boxes and monitor speakers.

Gwen was already arming her drum kit. “Watch out, Chewy,” she called, as the twin almost stepped right onto a small stack of mic stands.

Tommy caught himself in time, giving Gwen a grateful gasp.

“That would’ve been a bad way to start the gig,” I remarked.

“You insist on hurting your ankle yet again,” Muireann joked.

Tommy laughed it off. “I think I’ll wait in the green room, then! Do we have people feeding us grapes by hand, or do they arrive later?”

“Where’s Miss Ellie when you need her!” Colin called.

I winced, as Melissa raised a brow at me.

“Who’s Miss Ellie?” she asked.

“Oh, um ... Just an inside joke, don’t worry,” I deflected.

Luckily, my mom didn’t press!

The forecast turned out to be very accurate, to the point that the day felt larger than was possible. The infinitely blue sky easily repaired itself from the cutting rays of the sun that had just crossed the zenith and was beginning its journey to the horizon. Little by little, the azure would be turning cobalt and then midnight blue, by which point everything we’d worked toward would be just a memory.

It’s only lunchtime, fool ... Stop daydreaming.

The preparations passed in a blur. Between the setting up and sound checking of all three bands, I helped open tables and unpack concessions, chatting with Dr. Kendall, Ray, and Mrs. and Mr. Peoples when I needed a breather.

With well over two hours to go, concert-goers were already spreading blankets out on the inviting lawn that fanned out before the stage. It was a thrill to see people at the donation table starting to fill the earliest entries on Carmen’s fund ledger.

“What do you think?” Muireann asked, coming near me on the stage.

“So far so good. Is it time to go change?”

“Aye, we should go home soon.”

I smiled at her. “Are you feeling all right?”

She nodded. “Too excited, I think. And wile nervous.”

“I know.”

I gave her a hug, and we held each other for a time as the world continued on around us.

“Coming through!” Christine warned as she spooled out a cable for a light.

We stepped aside.

“We have each other up here,” I said to Muireann quietly.

“Aye, Matt, we do,” she murmured, rubbing my back.

At last we pulled apart, grinning at each other.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” I said, pulling her toward the cars.

“The show looks very much like it will stay right here,” Muireann teased.

I just rolled my eyes at her.

The Nameless were rocking. Skinner was delivering as promised, and the guys were keeping up with him. I was lounging on a blanket with Muireann and Shannon, grooving to the admittedly choice selection of classics. As far as I knew, Gwen and Skinner hadn’t even seen each other. She’d left after our sound check and wouldn’t be back until Green Space was halfway through their set. Perhaps this explained Skinner’s good mood up on stage.

We clapped enthusiastically as they finished another song. It was needless noise, though, because the crowd around us was enormous. Our trio of sounds was a tiny drop in the giant bucket of applause and cheering.

Don’t even start thinking about how many people are here...

It was admittedly nerve-wracking, to the point where Muireann and I had earlier joked that we should’ve put up far fewer posters around town.

“Thank you!” Skinner called out. “Man, this is some crowd! Crazy! I didn’t think this many people lived in this town! Are you guys having a good time here at the park... ? I know I am... ! So we have a couple of songs left for you. This next one I’m sure you’ve all heard, yeah, even all you parents out there, something by Mr. Stills. We took it and made it a little more rocking, though. But ... it’s a good song, and a good message, especially for tonight, you know? So let’s go!”

Skinner is into messages?

The crowd cheered as he started the chord intro and jumped right into the verse.

“If you’re down ... and confused... “

Cheers of recognition went up. After most everyone sang the chorus, Muireann leaned over to me.

“It seems even Skinner has a heart.”

I laughed. “Maybe. Or he just likes taking guitar solos off of good grooves.”

Even as I spoke the words, I cocked my head. Skinner was delivering a rather unusual solo, strange combinations of notes sounding at the same time. His lines are usually so clean...

I squinted at the stage, and then sat up. Skinner had his head turned toward Pete, who was intently looking down at his own guitar. As I watched Pete’s hand move high up the fretboard, I realized he was playing at the same time as Skinner. Was Pete supposed to go after the first chorus, and Skinner forgot? Then again, Pete only played rhythm with Skinner in the band, as far as I’d ever seen.

Skinner stepped to the mic and awkwardly started the second verse even as Pete wailed on through his lead. My stomach twisted up as Skinner made a gesture at him.

“What’s going on?” Muireann asked, having followed my gaze and caught on to the situation.

“Not sure. But whatever it is, it doesn’t seem good.”

At least Carl and Bruno are keeping it steady...

After the second chorus, Pete again began to play at the same time as Skinner. Pete ... what are you doing?

The song ended soon after that, because Skinner gave up trying to do his solo and delivered a couple of reprises of the chorus. He then signaled the final chord to Carl and they crashed it into an ending. I heard Pete’s solo continuing into the wash of sound, before it was overwhelmed by the crowd, who, luckily, seemed oblivious to the clash on stage. Skinner had marched over to Pete and was talking into his ear.

“I’ll be right back,” I abruptly said to the girls, rising and making my way out of the crowd. My walk turned into a run as I saw Pete suddenly unstrap his guitar and set it on a nearby stand. He hurried down the stage stairs and disappeared around the back.

“Sorry about that,” Skinner said, as he returned to the microphone, his bandana askew. He let out a short bark of laughter. “But sometimes, when you gotta go, you gotta go, you know?”

The crowd laughed. Damn it, Skinner ... Or maybe Pete really did have to pee? Still...

“This is our last song.” He glanced at the stairs, shrugged, and spoke again. “I, uh ... I think we’re on a strict schedule, so we’ll just go ahead and play it for you. Thanks again for listening, and we are The Nameless! Green Space coming up next, so get your tie-dyes on!”

I rushed behind the stage and found Pete heading for the rows of cars, not the row of porta-johns.

“Pete!” I called out, as I got within earshot of him and out of earshot of the rest of the people around.

He didn’t slow, so I sprinted as fast as I could, reaching him just as he opened the door to his parent’s car.

“Pete, hold up!”

He slipped into the back seat. I grabbed the door before he could close it.

Jesus, he’s fucking crying...

“Pete, what happened?” I managed, out of breath.

“Leave me alone!”

He tried to close the door again, but I blocked it.

“Come on, man, what the hell was that about?”

Pete wiped at his face, breathing harder than I was. “I fucked up, and Skinner got pissed.”

“What did you do? Were you supposed to solo second?”

“I don’t even know. But I’ve had enough of his shit. It’s not worth it. So not worth it.”

“All right ... I get that. I’m not a fan of Skinner either, so yeah, I definitely hear you.”

“They don’t fucking need me up there anyway.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true, man, and you know it. Listen to them...” he said, gesturing to the stage, from where their final song was ringing out loudly and energetically. “I just stand there and play the same old rhythm while Skinner wanks his guitar off to every song for an hour at a time.”

I huffed. “Well, okay, that’s true. I just figured it’s what you all wanted.”

“What Skinner wanted, sure.”

“What about Bruno and Carl?”

Pete squeezed his fist in front of him, trying not to shed any more tears. “They just listen to Skinner too, man. We all do! The band’s nothing like what it used to be, before...”

Before, yeah ... Before it all got leveled.

“Slide over,” I said quietly.

Pete didn’t budge, so I stepped back and moved around the trunk to the other side of the car. I winced when I heard his door close, but fortunately he didn’t lock me out. I took the other seat just as Skinner finished the song. The roar was significant, even after I closed my door.

“Matt ... Just go back to the show. I’ll be fine. You don’t need to be dealing with this right now. You’re playing soon.”

It was my turn to stay put. “Green Space is next,” I said. “And there’s a half-hour break now anyway.”

He sighed and then pulled out a familiar little box from the back pocket of the car.

“Pete, seriously? At least go outside? Your parents are going to smell it in here!”

“I really don’t give a fuck anymore.”

I wondered what to do or say, but in the end, I couldn’t think of anything good. So I did nothing except crack open my window a bit as Pete lit up. Hopefully no one walking by will smell it...

“Are you quitting The Nameless?” I asked.

Pete shrugged. “I feel like I was never in it. So what’s the difference?”

“Stop saying that. You were in the band from the start. That still has to mean something.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Bullshit. You sounded good tonight.”

He turned to me, finally looking a little alive. “Yeah? You were listening?”

“I was,” I pressed, earnestly. “I was sitting out in the crowd with Shannon and Muireann. And it’s not all about solos, you know.”

Pete snorted, his open expression collapsing easily since it was faked. “So then you also heard that I didn’t even turn my guitar up until the fourth song?”

“What?”

“Yeah ... I had my volume down. It sounded better that way, but then the sound guy noticed.”

“Jeez, Pete ... Why would you do that?”

He took another huge drag and filled the car with more fragrant fog.

I better wrap this up or I’m going to be stoned for the rest of the night...

“I don’t know how many times I can tell you, Matt. They don’t need me in the band. I’m useless. I mean, you didn’t even notice I wasn’t playing, even when you say you were listening. I’m sure no one else did either.”

“I’m sorry, man. I was listening, but I wasn’t expecting that, so yeah, I guess I didn’t notice. Shit ... Have you talked to Bruno and Carl about Skinner?”

“Yeah, a few times,” he admitted quietly.

“And?”

“What can we do? None of us can sing.”

“There has to be someone other than Skinner that can sing with you!”

Pete glanced at me, his eyes red. “Yeah. But she’s in another band now.”

I slouched back against the seat, feeling quite tense. “That’s ... unfair.”

“Is it? Is that what you think?” he spat. “That you have it unfair?”

“That’s not what I mean at all,” I said quietly, taken aback by his sudden anger.

“What then?” he pressed.

I shook my head sadly. “Pete, come on ... I’m not going to go there, not right now.”

“Oh ... But the other day you sure were interested in knowing what was going on with me.”

I stared at him, dismayed. The one time you want to talk, man... ?

He waved his hand vaguely. “You wanted know all about what was wrong with me.”

“And I still fucking do!” I said emphatically, sitting up.

Pete suddenly seemed to shrink in his seat, so I calmed myself again.

“Look, man...” I huffed. “I know all this is complicated. The band, the twins, what happened with Lara ... All of it’s crazy, I get that. But you need to find a way to be okay with things. If you hate Skinner, then quit, and find something else to do. And if you want to talk about anything, I’ll talk. I just came out here to make sure you were all right. But like you said, I am playing soon, and I want to listen to Green Space too. So I don’t have time to go into all of it for hours right now. But I will, if you want to. I’ve tried, before, you know ... I’m just waiting on you.”

“So it’s my fault,” he muttered. “As usual...”

“Quit it, man. I didn’t say that. I was just trying to say that once this show is over, let’s—”

Pete suddenly peered out the windshield and then quickly rolled down his window. “Shit ... My folks are coming.”

My heart leapt at these words. I immediately opened my door, but it was pointless. Unless they were aromatically blind, they would know very soon what Pete had just done.

“Do they know you smoke?” I asked, resignation in my voice. This better not ruin my night ... Maybe I should make a run for it?

“They don’t know.” Pete opened his own door and crushed the remains of the joint in the lot, swishing the gravel until it pulverized both paper and plant into nothingness.

“Do you think they’re going to be mad?” I asked.

“My dad hates drugs. So I’m guessing I’m not going to be listening to you guys play or coming to your house tonight for the party. Sorry.”

My insides tightened and I watched with trepidation as his parents neared. His dad was a weird guy, I knew. Not aggressive, but quiet and usually apathetic to the point of being unfriendly sometimes. That’s the last thing that’s needed right now...

I had but a few seconds to make my escape. Now or never... I steeled myself.

“Tell them it was me.”

Pete turned, looking at me like I was an alien. “What?”

“Tell them I pulled out a joint and started smoking it before you could stop me.”

He gaped at me.

“Just do it, okay? I’m dead serious. Tell them,” I urged as I climbed out of the car. “And let’s talk later, or next week, whenever. And if you can stay for the show, or come out to the house tonight, you’re welcome.”

He only continued to stare at me in shock, so I shut the door and headed toward the stage.

“Hey, how’s it going?” I said to his parents. It was easy enough to make my voice sound suspiciously nervous, because my stomach was actually a mess.

His dad narrowed his eyes at me as I passed. “Is Pete in our car?”

“Yeah,” I called back, my insides doing somersaults as I heard him sniff the air. “And I’m sorry, about ... that ... I wasn’t thinking. I need to get to the stage, though! Thanks for coming out!”

I didn’t stick around to watch their reaction, or Pete’s for that matter. I scanned the area, relieved to find my moms over by the donation table. I hurried their way.

Time to have a little talk ... before Mr. and Mrs. Roderick do it for me.

But I was quickly sidetracked.

“Matt? Hi!”

I slowed to find a familiar face approaching me.

Nooo... ! This is not good ... She’s a hugger!

Sure enough, Clara took me into an embrace, which I returned after a moment’s hesitation. Damn it... But if she caught on to anything, she didn’t show it. Maybe she doesn’t even know the smell of it...

“What a wonderful event this is!” she gushed so elegantly.

“So far so good!” I quipped, glancing toward my moms. “And I’m sure more than a few people are here because of you letting us put the posters up in your studio.”

She smiled, her eyes glinting. “I have seen a number of my students here, yes!”

“That’s awesome. But, um ... I’m sorry I can’t talk too long, though. I really have to ask my moms something before I lose track of them in the crowd!”

She held out her hands. “No, please do! Believe me, I know full well how crazy show days are. Hopefully you don’t have too many fires to put out!”

As she smiled at me, I almost laughed.

“Not too many,” I replied simply.

“I’ll let you get back to it. But very quickly, I just want to let you know that if you’ll be around this summer, I’d love to have you back to the studio to do some work. I have a number of projects that are piling up. If you want, of course!”

I grinned at her. “I’d actually love that.”

“Excellent!” she said. “Stop by after the twins leave and everything settles down, and then we can talk.”

“I’ll do that,” I called, backing away from her.

She gave me a warm smile and waved. “Looking forward to your performance later!”

“Thanks!” I managed, spotting Pete’s dad making his way back toward the audience area.

Not too many fires ... Just a fucking inferno to put out...

I caught up with my moms just as they started heading for the food concessions.

“Hey,” I greeted, again having to catch my breath.

“There you are,” Melissa said. “Lara’s been looking for you.”

“Yeah, well ... Where did she go?”

“She’s up by the stage, I think. Are you okay?”

“Sort of. Can we go over there? I need to tell you something.”

They followed me to a little area that was free of people and hopefully out of sight of determined drug-haters.

I gathered myself as I entered new territory. “Um ... I have a feeling I just did totally the wrong thing, but I need to tell you anyway.”

“What is it?” Sarah asked, concerned at my introduction.

I took a steadying breath. “It’s about Pete. I have a feeling you’re going to be getting some news from his dad...”

After grabbing a water bottle from the nearby volunteer table, I made my way to the stage area, deep relief still washing through me. One of last year’s exchange students was reading her essay about her travel experience. Wish I had the time to listen... After exchanging some handshakes with the Green Space guys and wishing them a good set, I found Lara sitting in a chair behind the stage, intently studying a page of her lyrics. She saw me approaching and pocketed the sheet.

“Hey,” she said, offering me a wan smile.

The look on her face made me forget everything all at once. Shit, did she talk to Pete too?

“Are you okay?” I asked, crouching beside her. “What’s going on?”

“I’m freaking out, Matt ... I feel like a total hypocrite.”

I made a face. “Why?”

She squinted back some tears. “Because of Carmen. I don’t know if I can do this.”

“I’m not following. Can’t do what? The show?”

“How can I get up there and sing for this, when I was so mean to her?”

“What do you mean? Is this about you talking to her last year about the amusement park thing?”

Lara shuddered. “It’s about everything, Matt. That, and the fact that I’ve never really liked her since then.”

“Did you say something to her before she...”

“No, but ... Oh god, I’m sorry. I’m just feeling so ashamed!”

“Lara, it’s all right,” I said, rubbing her arm. “You’re not the only one going through this, you know? Muireann, me, Tommy ... All of us have regrets for things we said or didn’t say.”

“But I...” She paused, wiping at her face. “I was jealous of her. With Tommy,” she muttered.

I held her close. “I know that.”

She looked at me. “You do?”

“Sure. Even Mr. Blind could see that.”

“I wasn’t trying to be! I swear ... I kept telling myself that we didn’t have any reason to keep the twins from being friends with other people. Or even more than friends. But I couldn’t help it. When he started telling us about how she was teaching him gymnastics, I was so jealous, Matt. I couldn’t help it.”

“Did you do something to her?”

She nodded sadly. “I did what I could to stop them from being together.”

I sighed. “Like what?”

She slumped forward, but just then the student finished speaking and the crowd started clapping. I waited impatiently. Finally I leaned close as the sound died down and Dr. Kendall start talking.

“What did you do?” I asked.

“I told Muireann that Carmen was a bad influence, so that she’d tell Tommy to stop hanging out with her.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think that worked.”

“I know. And it was killing me that he was always talking about her, at the end there.”

“I don’t know that he was always talking about her.”

“Well, it sure seemed like it. He was even asking me about how we could bring her to Jonah’s with us.”

“Well, he asked me too. And I was the one who told her she couldn’t come,” I added, feeling a sharp pang of guilt flare forth. “And believe me when I say I feel like a total asshole for doing that to her.”

“You only did it because you knew I’d be mad if she came with us.”

I stared at her, feeling dizzy. “I ... did it for a lot of reasons, Lara. None of which were kind, at all. I was jealous too, you know.”

She considered me for a long moment. “Jealous? Of what?”

“Maybe jealous isn’t the right word. But basically, I didn’t want her interfering in what we had going on, with the band, the four of us. So yeah, maybe I was a bit jealous of us losing Tommy to Carmen somehow.”

“But you didn’t stop him from going outside with her.”

“I know that. I guess I didn’t realize what was going on at first, but still, by the end there I definitely wasn’t really encouraging it.”

I felt regret flooding me as I remembered the gymnastics lessons: Tommy so full of enthusiasm, Carmen encouraging him and grinning so brightly... How I wish I’d put film in the camera that day that I pretended to take pictures of them...

“Oh, I feel so shitty about all of this,” she wailed.

“Me too, Lara. But—”

“I can’t get up there,” she continued, “and pretend that I was some kind of friend to her.”

“Lara, I’m just going to tell you this much right now. Whatever you think you did to hurt Carmen ... You’ve got nothing on me, all right? Whatever you did is a drop in the bucket, compared.”

She suddenly looked at me, her eyes full of concern. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m not going to tell you now. But just know that if I can do this show, then so can you.”

“What did you do, Matt?”

“Some other time,” I said softly. “But I wasn’t good to her, believe me.”

“I know you had weird times, but I—”

“Not now, sis! I’m serious ... The point is, you can do this. She’s gone, you know, so we can’t fix anything with her. It’s too late to talk to her, or anything like that. But we can at least show her the kindness she deserves and make this a great event for her folks and friends, and for the fund that’s going to be in her name.”

“I don’t know ... I’m having a hard time imagining myself up there, knowing what I did. People are going to see right through me. And all my words are so weird and dark ... We should have picked happier songs to do for this.”

“We’ve talked about that enough times, and it’s fine. And you’re going to do the show, Lara. Of course it’ll be hard. And it’s even going to hurt, you know? To get up there and leave it all on the stage, it’s going to hurt like hell, but ... it’ll be...”

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The New StartChapter 17 Autunm and Star

It was late afternoon Autumn and Mist were watching the nine four olds on the playground. Autumn did her best to engage Mist in light happy conversation while they kept their eyes on the children but Mist still had that sad look in her eyes that had been there ever since Steve had left and secluded himself in the cave house. Mist loved Steve and missed him very much. Mist was at a loss as to how to help Steve and that bothered her a lot. Autumn gave up on the conversation and just stood next...

3 years ago
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Shutter Click

In San Francisco, '77 was a great time to be alive if you were batting for the home team. People felt that they could do, say, or be anything they wanted. Every belief that had been held dear by the multitudes had been challenged in the previous decade and the world had collectively rocked back on its heels, trying desperately to catch its balance. Now it had and what's more, had begun to run forward. Stephan loved every minute of it. At the moment, he was trolling a bar. This was the third...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 2 Circle Bright

The day’s torture wasn’t over, since we still had to tell Heather about the state of things. She was supposed to be calling me that evening after dinner. Lara and I had discussed what we would say to her, but it hadn’t been easy to come up with anything. It felt cruel, now, as we remembered how inspired she’d been the past few days. Now we had to throw sand over it again and bury it away. Before dinner we went for another walk since it was easier to talk freely that way. It was dark, so we...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 3 She Flew Away

Colin and Shannon were still chatting near the door to Jane’s classroom, so I told her I’d grab our regular seats. When the bell rang a few minutes later, she joined me. “I guess we’ll have to check out the photos later,” Shannon said apologetically. “Tomorrow’s another day,” I said, grinning. “Nah, no school tomorrow.” I turned to her as Jane called for quiet. “Really? Why?” “Another big storm,” she whispered. “Whoa! They already cancelled?” “I don’t know. But we’re going to get...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 4 Donrsquot Touch

After the successful phone call to Colin, Shannon was on cloud ten as we tramped through the deepening snow with the saw horses. Well, I carried the barricades; she badgered me about not being allowed to help. “They’re not that heavy,” I dismissed. “Which is why you should let me carry one!” “They’re crazy heavy,” I amended quickly, pretending to stagger. “This isn’t the eighteen-thirties, Matt. Chivalry is pretty much dead.” “Says the girl who dances in a show where there is literally a...

4 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 5 Ravenrsquos on my Shoulder

Friday. The last day before the masks went on, before Dad would have to sleep in my desk drawer for two full seasons, and before Truth was buried, maybe forever. We cleaned, we arranged, we considered everything to make our home normal. After dinner, the four of us were satisfied with both the house and the cabin. Our guests would be treated with respect and love. After dinner, Lara and I went for a walk. It was made much easier by the fact that Colin and Shannon had plowed our driveway at...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 6 Fire for the Cold Ones

Given the unknown amount of potential baggage, Sarah decided to pick up the twins by herself. At best, one more person could have gone with her, but if it turned out that Muireann and Tommy were major packers then it would’ve been a tight fit and an uncomfortable ride. We knew from their letter that they’d likely be bringing some instruments with them. “Better safe than sorry. Besides, this will be my first and last chance to talk to them, I’m sure,” Sarah joked. “Don’t worry, we’ll let you...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 7 Porcelain Shell

I’d set an alarm for five, deciding that the lack of sleep would be better than leaving the twins stranded by themselves. However, when I slapped the sound off and staggered out into the living room, all was quiet. Figuring they’d be up soon, I grabbed my Walkman and stretched out on the couch to relax while I waited. As it turned out, I fell asleep and Lara ended up waking me up. I started, surprised to see her shaking me. “What time is it?” I asked, pulling the tangled headphones from my...

4 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 8 Tint Shade and Hue

Figuring that the ‘warmest’ part of the day was passing, Lara suggested that if we still wanted to swim, now was the time. Tommy had not forgotten the offer and eagerly agreed, not put off by the frigid air temperature. We put away our guitars and returned to the house to don bathing suits. It was admittedly a bit odd, since Lara and I never did so; pulling jeans over the trunks felt completely alien. Lara had a giant stack of towels in her arms when we met up in the living room. Muireann...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 9 New Dream

“Well, last period is finally here. Enjoying the first day?” I asked, leading Muireann to some desks on the side of the classroom. I avoided my usual study hall spot, where Carl and a couple of other guys I usually sat with were already seated. “Aye, though it’s been a whirlwind,” she admitted. “Yeah, introducing you in each class ... I swear everyone has met you three times over!” Muireann sniffed. “At least that many. It felt a bit odd, all that. But everyone seems nice.” “For the most...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 55 Lie Down

The morning Alana dropped me off, my reunion with Lara was delicious. We shared a long and happy hug. I’d made every effort while with Alana to do exactly one thing: be with my dear friend. But on returning, I let all that stored-up love for Lara emerge again, and I didn’t want to let go of her. Of course, we eventually had to peel apart. She was due at the shelter soon, so after greeting my moms and Frej, we resumed our morning walks that she’d kept up in my absence. As usual, we didn’t...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 56 Waters

We entered August, the last full month of summer, of vacation, and of divine mountain warmth. I spent all my time at Clara’s; Lara increased her hours at the shelter since Chuck hired her more formally and started paying her for her computer work. Our tent became lived-in and undeniably welcoming the more we used it and adjusted our setup. With Frej’s help, we’d flown an oversized tarp above the area that gave us some dry space around the shelter in times of rain. It remained a heavenly...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 57 From Depth to Shoal

Are you sure about this... ? Back down by the house, I found Frej in the garage. He was peering closely at a tangle of wires. “These new electronics...” he grumbled. “They are all so small and impossible to fix... ! Or maybe I need glasses.” I laughed as best I could with the tremors that seemed to be creeping into me from all sides. I haven’t been sure of anything lately... “Need a break?” I asked. He tossed the thing onto the worktable and grinned at me. “Yes, that is enough for...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 58 Silent Sea

We followed Heather down the pathway to the rocky intertidal expanse and picked our way toward the rowboat that sat patiently in the shallows. Between us, we silently pushed the craft into deeper waters, until it floated freely with enough clearance for the extra weight it would now carry. Heather held it steady as first Lara and then I got in. She joined us with a nimble leap. I studied the rowboat as I sat in the stern with Lara. Though clearly aged, it was sturdy and well-maintained. A...

4 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 59 True

Not even twenty-five hours into our new life, it became clear that our bodies were entirely unprepared for the relentless existence of sea-harvesting with Heather. When we awoke after that first night’s sleep, early morning’s glow was faint. What’s the rush? It was Heather who had roused us, and despite various attempts to roll over and slumber away the deep soreness that pervaded every cubic inch of my limbs, she would not allow it. I finally yawned, struggled to sit up, and gave her a look...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 10 Alizarin and Cobalt

“Welcome to darkroom class,” I announced as Muireann followed me into the darkroom the following evening. She eyed me. “Are you going to lie on the bed again?” I grinned broadly. “I think I might, and let you do the work. Hands-on is the best way to learn, right?” “You’re going to give Tommy a run for the title of laziest boy.” “Am I winning yet?” Muireann just smirked and started blacking out the windows. “I have to admit something,” she said. “What’s that?” “I didn’t realize the...

4 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 11 Go Figure

When Melissa and I returned to the house after dropping off the order for the necklace, nothing much had changed. In the cabin I found Lara and Tommy at the table, intently studying a sheet of paper. They didn’t even glance at me as I closed the door. I could hear Muireann’s muffled fiddle playing from the darkroom, the sound of a slow Irish melody permeating the warmed air inside. “How’s it going?” I announced, taking off my coat. After scribbling something down, Lara turned to me, smiling...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 12 Take a Look at Me

I felt an arm grip my winter coat. “Matt ... I don’t know that we can do this!” “Of course you can. It’s not that hard.” “No, I’m worried about Tommy!” she whispered. “What if he falls? Or runs into someone?” I gave her gloved hand a pat. “He’ll be okay. It’s pretty soft, you know. Watch...” I let myself fall sideways like a cut tree, landing on my hip and shoulder. Muireann gave a little cry of surprise, but I just laughed it off. In another moment I was standing again. “You want to...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 13 Everything You Want

“We need to decide what song we’re going to audition with,” I announced, as the five of us settled into the cabin for some rehearsal. Colin looked at me. “Let’s vote then. What are the choices? We have a lot of songs that we know now. Some more than others.” “I’m thinking we should do an original,” I offered. “We have Four Days, Shell Game, Absinthe... And Please Don’t Stop, but since we played that one at the show last year, probably not a good idea.” “Don’t forget Gunkstomp!” Lara...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 14 Nothingrsquos What it Seems

“What have we here?” Jane asked, coming to a stop in front of our half-dozen pictures. “Twins,” Muireann said. “Aha.” She examined our spread. “Did you do the project together?” “Aye, we tried something different.” I could hear the hope in Muireann’s voice, that this would be okay by our teacher. Jane pursed her lips. “Interesting approach.” “I know there’s only six photos, but we both did take six shots,” I explained. “There’s two exposures on each!” Jane gave me a small smile. “Yes,...

4 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 15 Victory Mask

“Damn, I’ve missed you,” I whispered. She giggled. “Wow, I didn’t realize how much!” “Hey now! Hands above the waist!” Heather cuddled up closer to me on the couch as the hubbub carried on in the rest of the great room. After all the greetings and chats following our guests’ arrival, dinner was soon going to be ready. With Frej volunteering to help with what remained of meal preparations, we’d been told to go hang out. Not being one to deny my parents’ wishes, I didn’t think twice to drag...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 16 Once

I tried delaying our hike for a day. I really did. Although Heather’s ankle was sore after she removed the ski boots in the lodge, by the time we got home it was already feeling a little better. She could certainly get around, since it mostly hurt only when putting sideward pressure on it. Skiing was probably out for a few days, at least, but a walk through the woods was not worth postponing. Or so she said. I was of two minds. Twenty-four hours of extra rest would allow more time for her to...

4 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 17 See the Light

The music store wasn’t too far from the jeweler’s shop, so Heather and I walked there. “I mean, I get it, now,” I said, still caught up in the surprising meaning of the Chinese symbol she now wore around her neck. “Oh, I think you got it a long time ago,” Heather said. “It’s just a word, Matt. It has no meaning on its own.” “I know, I know. It’s just ... most people would find it kind of...” “Weird,” she supplied. “You said it, not me,” I laughed. “It is what it is.” “Yeah ... Anyway,...

4 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 18 Mountain Stream

Three girls, three cameras... And me, tagging along, superfluous but certainly enjoying myself. I offered to be their model a few times, but they seemed to prefer photographing each other. And there was the teasing, of course. Endless. “Nice, Muireann!” Heather chirped. “You’ve learned a lot about photography, I can tell.” “She has a good eye,” Shannon agreed. “Matt has been teaching me.” “Which makes it all the more surprising!” Funny... But even there, I was given three cute grins,...

4 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 19 Burning Fires

Admittedly, I was slightly apprehensive as we pulled into our clearing that evening after our day of skiing. Heather, alone with Tommy all day... The snow was falling heavily again through the headlight beams. Both Frej’s and the Martins’ cars were parked in the same positions they had been that morning, and they remained covered in several inches of snow. Oddly, there were no lights on in the main house. Maybe Muireann was rubbing off on me, because for a few seconds I had a panicked vision...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 20 Sleep in the Dark

Mairead and Aongus left after lunch the next day, forced to end their vacation earlier than Frej and Heather due to the demands of the business they owned. I was indeed grateful for the Danishman’s generosity in allowing Heather to remain for another three days. The Martins’ departure left a rather obvious hole in our daily schedule. After dinner was cleared and we sat around the table, it suddenly seemed remarkably silent. The positive feedback loop between Tommy and Aongus had been...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 21 Mother Time

I was grateful for the band. Heather’s departures were never a good thing for me, inevitably the start of a long slide down into wistful distance, but the fact that I could go from our final embrace to playing my guitar within fifteen minutes was at the very least a welcomed distraction. “So we need to start thinking about a set for the battle,” I said, once we’d played a few numbers to warm up and clear the farewell feelings as best we could. “We have six originals, so we’ll need another...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 22 The Bed That We Made

The week passed slowly and somewhat agonizingly, since Gwen couldn’t rehearse again until the following weekend, and the homework was being laid on thick. I was anxious to make as much progress as we could on the set, which we still hadn’t quite settled on. Certainly as the battle approached, I was imagining more and more how it might turn out, even though I knew that daydreaming about the glories of winning was a dangerous game. Things could turn out so many different ways, surely, but in...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 23 Soon Irsquoll Be Gone

If I hadn’t been sure that Tommy had Dr. Kendall in his back pocket, that was put to rest in study hall the following Tuesday. Carmen, Tommy, and I were walking along the outside of the school building, on our way to the fields as was our habit now, when the principal rounded the far corner and came toward us. “Uh oh,” Carmen said. “Caught.” “Principal alert,” I whispered, for Tommy’s benefit. The three of us laughed quietly, all of us wearing shades as was our other habit these days. “We...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 24 The Regrets of a Fool

Carmen was disappointed but seemed understanding when I called her to let her know that we didn’t have room for her after all. It was a bit strange to talk to her on the phone, something that I didn’t think I’d ever done before. Odd, considering we were together for a while. Then again, this fact was testament to how messed up that time had been for me. Saturday evening arrived, and it was not without some anxiety that we packed the gear into Colin and Shannon’s vehicles. While my moms...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 26 Hard to See

“Hello?” “Oh hi, Mrs. Martin. How are you?” “Matt ... It’s me,” Heather said. I jerked in my chair. “What... ? No way! You said ‘Hello’!” “I guess I did.” This must be part of a joke... “Okay ... Where have you been? We were supposed to talk on Wednesday, remember?” “What day is it today?” Heather asked. I was quiet for a second. “It’s Friday? Seriously, is everything all right? You answered weird ... Well, you answered normally, which is weird for you. And you really don’t know what...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 27 Red Lines

I was surprisingly alert when Tommy and I slipped into Frej’s car at a quarter of six, just as the light was starting to make itself known in the east. I let Tommy have the front so I could squeeze against Heather in the back. “Good morning, my love,” she whispered, and immediately I wondered if I was overdressed for the warmth she caused in me. Maybe forgetting all my clothes at home would be okay after all. Damn kissing ban, though... “Is your man coming with us today?” Tommy asked...

4 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 28 Burning Heart

Lara responded so sweetly when I asked if she could entertain the twins, that I took her into a surprisingly hard hug. We were alone in my room, so I made no effort to hold back. “Easy there, bro,” she warned, even as she returned the tight embrace. “I’m so sorry about the underwater thing,” I breathed. “I still feel terrible about it.” “No sweat. I know you didn’t do it on purpose, because you hate doing laundry. And now you’re stuck doing it every day!” I laughed. “True. But it’s the...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 29 Last Place for a Landing

It was strange to wake up. I was still on the couch, but Heather was gone, and I was horizontal and covered by a blanket. I could hear my moms and aunt chatting in the living room, since I was occupying their usual morning hangout spot. Then again, the sun was bright and the shadows on the porch floor were well past parallel to the wood beams, suggesting that my first meal of the day would be called ‘late lunch’ and certainly not ‘breakfast’. So, I really took their usual afternoon spot......

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 30 Jump

I think I’m half-Danish... It took me a moment, I’ll admit. It was perhaps like seeing someone on a distant hill make an odd movement, and only realizing a long second later that it was the head-on motion of an archer having released an arrow to fly forth from her bow. It took me a moment, yes, but then that five-word missile arrived, slamming into my heart with surgical precision. The world seemed to spin. I only knew one Danish person, and I knew him quite well. I struggled to hold her...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 31 Steer it True

“Do you wish this never happened?” she asked quietly. I turned to look at Heather, her face illuminated by the fading twilight. Until now, Heather had not spoken in the half-hour or so since I’d silently confirmed her connection to Frej. I didn’t mind the quiet, because I had much to think about myself. The pier was strangely deserted, and we’d migrated to the gazebo to sit. “Why do you say that?” I asked. “Because it really puts a new light on everything.” “It does, it does,” I agreed....

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 32 Coming into View

I was just about to make a call when Lara poked her head into my room. “Back to the telephone life, huh?” she said, giving me a sympathetic look. “Yep. Hard times again.” “You could’ve been born a hundred years ago,” she observed, “and then you wouldn’t even have had the phone.” “If I’d been born a hundred years ago, I would’ve missed out on her completely. And on you too, sis ... But I’m glad for the phone either way.” Lara nodded thoughtfully. “True. Come up to the cabin when you’re...

4 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 33 Flames and Scars

On Monday, I was very relieved to get summoned to the principal’s office. Despite the amused looks I got from my classmates, I was feeling pretty high. Dr. Kendall had been silent since our meeting the previous week, a bit worrisome since the time before May wasn’t exactly abundant. But I trusted in his promise, and now it seemed we’d be shifting into gear. When I stepped into his office, another man was already sitting in one of the chairs. He looked vaguely familiar. I took the initiative...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 34 The Pedals of My Mind

“Sorry I stole your bed,” Lara said, giving me a sheepish grin as she wandered out of my room the next morning. I shrugged. “The couch is comfortable enough.” “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. We were working on lyrics, you know, and ... Yeah. Where is everyone?” “Colin’s not here yet, and Gwen came by a while ago but just grabbed Muireann and took off. And you and Tommy have been sleeping like logs.” “Where did Gwen take her?” “Beats me. She said they’d be back in a few...

4 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 35 Split in Two

“Hello?” Uh oh ... That’s not good... “I don’t like the sound of that,” I said. “The last time you answered ‘Hello’ was—” “Good evening, Matt,” Mairead interrupted. “Oh, hi, Mrs. Martin!” “Heather is not here,” she added, her voice quite amused. I would’ve laughed, except that I suddenly realized how close I’d just been to revealing Heather’s secret. Holy shit... ! Way too close. “I’m sorry about that just now,” I explained, my skin prickling. “Sometimes Heather, well ... She’ll...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 37 The Levers of My Heart

The post-concert went by in a rush. People came and went, to greet us, share their joy and emotions. The twins and Lara in particular were mobbed, which was fine with me. I’ve had just about as much excitement as I can take... After hugging the people closest to me, I slipped back up to the stage again, grateful for the banality of winding cables, collapsing mic stands, and the opportunity to help the sound and lighting crews get their work done just a little faster. They’d been amazing...

3 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 38 The Point of Dying

Away... From us... To say these words affected me would be a vast understatement. The massive upwelling that I’d seen a moment earlier in Heather’s eyes, that flood which would destroy everything around ... It suddenly burst out of the sea. Nothing prepared me for its impact. My throat constricted and suffocation beckoned, caressing me gently into blackening edges. “Why?” I tried to ask, but the sound was grotesque, a pitiful gurgle at best. “Shh, shhhh,” she consoled through tears,...

4 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 39 Gone to Ground

On the day that our connection was severed, I was roused by a warm hand caressing my face, the fingers leaving behind energetic currents. “Good morning, my love...” I opened my eyes all at once. The sun was just barely tinting the sky, and I was disoriented, wondering why the couch felt odd. It took me a moment to realize that I was down in the main house. Memories abruptly returned in a panicked rush. The night before, after partying for a while, the three of us had taken to Lara’s old bed...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 40 The Last Day of a Quiet War

The long work of pulling the concert together had fully caught up and crashed into me. That wasn’t the source of my problems, though, or I would’ve simply slept hard for a few days and been done with it. If I’d wanted to take a ‘sick’ day or two to stay home from school, no one would have batted an eyelid, for any of us. I wouldn’t have even had to fake a fever, holding the thermometer against a hot light bulb. I could just cash in on good karma. Instead, on Wednesday I’d found myself...

2 years ago
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Shutter ReleaseChapter 41 Strip it All Away

“So, how much of this will you tell Tommy?” It was the first thing Muireann had said in some time, having grown progressively more reticent as I revealed my secrets to her, one by one. There were many, so it had taken a long while. But they were out, now... All of them. “Tommy...” I murmured. “Yeah, I’m not sure.” “He’s very fond of Lara.” I sniffed. “I know that. You think he’ll be weirded out?” “I can’t say for sure. And what about her?” I frowned. “Lara? She knows all of this...

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