cord
- 3 years ago
- 10
- 0
I was waiting for Muireann to emerge from the restroom before we headed to photography class, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I figured she was playing the other-shoulder trick to get me to look the wrong way, but I was surprised to find Bruno there after all.
“Oh, hey man ... What’s up?” I greeted.
“We need to talk,” he said quietly, glancing anxiously down the hall.
“Hm. Let me guess ... Pete?”
“Yeah. Are you heading to class? I can walk with you.”
“I am, but ... I need to wait for Muireann. She’s in the bathroom. What’s going on?”
“So we rehearsed last night for the talent show, you know, and it was kind of bad.”
“Skinner and Pete got into it again?”
“Not really that ... Just that half the time Pete wasn’t even playing. Well, he was playing something, just not with us. He’d turn his volume off and mess around on other songs.”
I sighed. “I guess he did that at the park show, at least to start out with.”
“Yeah, well ... Oh, hi.”
I turned to find Muireann returning.
“Hi Bruno,” she greeted.
“So do you know what’s going on with him?” I asked.
“Um ... I guess I can talk to you later,” he demurred.
“Why, do you have class?”
“No, just study hall, but...”
“We can be a few minutes late to photography, don’t worry.”
He still hesitated, throwing a furtive glance Muireann’s way.
I suddenly realized what his issue was and laughed. “Oh, Muireann knows what’s going on with Pete. You can talk, it’s fine.”
Bruno’s face took on some relief at this. “All right. I didn’t know if it was cool.”
“It is,” I said, as we set off down the long hall. “So, why is he doing this?”
He shrugged in response. “It’s hard to say with him these days. I still think it’s all the weed he’s smoking,” he added quietly, scanning the hallways in paranoia as he spoke.
“Look out, Dr. K is right behind you!”
Well, I wanted to say that, but the topic was far too serious for such joking around.
“Could be ... Is he smoking again?”
Bruno frowned at me. “Huh? Again?”
“I thought he stopped? Well, whatever. He’s obviously not getting along with Skinner. So maybe that’s all it is. He wants to play in the band but he can’t deal with the guy.”
“That’s the weird thing though ... I mean, sure, Skinner is over the top, and he can be blunt and even annoying sometimes, but it’s not like he’s there picking on Pete, you know? We usually have a good time at rehearsals. I mean, that time you showed up was a little awkward, but it’s usually not like that. He’s not as bad as he seems when you first—”
“Why doesn’t Pete take any guitar solos when you play?” Muireann abruptly asked, stepping in front of him and stopping our march through the hall. Bruno looked at her blankly.
“I don’t know,” he finally said. “It’s just the way it goes?”
“Has Pete picked any of the songs you do?” she pressed.
“Um ... I don’t think he has, no. Skinner sings, so he kind of has to pick them, you know?”
“Then does Pete at least help with arranging the songs?”
“Arranging? What do you mean? We just play them.”
“How do you decide the parts and how they go together?”
“We just ... follow Skinner, I guess. He knows these songs really well, so ... But ... Do you mean...” Bruno trailed off into contemplation.
I was smiling by now. “So what’s Pete’s deal?” I asked, more gently than Muireann’s sweet-voiced interrogation.
Bruno huffed. “Okay, I think I see what you’re saying.”
“You really didn’t see that until now?” she asked.
He seemed to shrink. “Well, of course—Of course I did! Just ... You know, we haven’t played that much, all right? I know you guys are probably rehearsing together a ton, but since Skinner joined, we just jam every now and then, when he’s up in the area. So it’s not like Pete and Skinner are always together, or that the band is even doing that much. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Well, obviously it is to Pete.”
“All right, I get that now.”
“What are you doing about it?” Muireann asked.
“Me?”
“Aren’t you his friend?”
I winced when I glanced at her face, wondering if she’d maybe learned that look from Alana. Who is this girl beside me?
“Of course I am!” he protested. “What the heck are you trying to say?”
“That you should talk to him about it.”
Bruno blinked as he remained tense, but then he slumped a bit. “He doesn’t really talk about stuff anymore, though. I don’t know. Why haven’t you talked to him, Matt?”
I grunted at his deflection. “Well, he won’t talk to me either,” I admitted. “And I’ve tried. I called him three times already this week to invite him over to jam with Muireann and me, but he just says, ‘I’ll see what’s going on tonight,’ and then never shows up.”
“Oh ... I didn’t know that.”
“Well, I was keeping it just between us,” I explained. “No one else needs to know, since ... Well, since there’s a lot of old stuff there to deal with otherwise, you know?”
Bruno took a long breath. “So what do we do?”
“Keep trying. Come on, let’s walk. Do you still practice at Carl’s?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, your setup there sucks for Pete.”
“What? Why?” Bruno asked.
“He’s like in the corner, behind Skinner’s amps! Like he’s not even in the band.”
“It’s just the way the room is, man! Where is Pete supposed to stand? On top of Carl’s drums?”
“No. Just practice somewhere else.”
Bruno made a face. “Where? My house is out, you know that.”
“I don’t know. Set up outside in the yard at Carl’s then. It’s nice enough these days. Figure something out, if you want to help Pete. He wants to play in the band, but if no one stands up for him against Skinner, then yeah, I’d be pissed and depressed too.”
Bruno slowed, seeming unsteady. Then he actually sat down on the stairs. Luckily the bell had just rung, so the disruption to traffic was minimal.
“Are you all right?” I asked.
“This is crazy,” he groaned.
Before I could answer, Muireann sat down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Just do it, Bruno. Be there for your friend.”
He looked at her, and I could see the effects of her soothing voice in his eyes. He nodded slowly. “All right ... I’ll try. I’ll figure something out.”
“And I’ll keep trying too,” I said. “We all will.”
Pete was another no-show for ‘music in the woods’ on Friday night despite me calling and practically begging him. I was getting the message that he simply did not want to come to our house. Perhaps it was justified; after all, he certainly had a lot of memories he’d formed there over the years. And for much of that to be lost to him... Would I visit Heather’s house, if we went to Montauk tomorrow? I wasn’t sure. I hadn’t called her parents, so that suggested that the answer was negative.
Despite the cloud of worry that gnawed on me regarding my friend, I woke up in good spirits on Saturday morning. This feeling was in spite of the early hour, given that it was a weekend. Melissa packed us all a picnic lunch and the six of us spent the morning down in the Gunks, hiking and enjoying the late spring perfection. The waterfalls were full and raucous, and Tommy couldn’t resist singing his song Gunkstomp to its namesake mountains, multiple times. We didn’t mind accompanying him with our hands and feet and voices, and by the time we sat to eat, we even had a decent a cappella version of it. Our parents found it quite amusing and even joined in by the thirtieth time.
Upon returning home, my folks dropped us off and headed out for some errands. Left to our own devices, the four of us teamed up to make short work of cleaning the picnic ware, because Colin and Gwen would be coming over within the hour for rehearsal.
“So is the rest of Other Side ready?” I asked Tommy and Lara. They were washing – well, Lara was; Tommy was just messing around – and I was repacking the picnic basket with items that Muireann was drying.
“Aye, lad, we have the sections worked out.”
“The words are done,” Lara added.
“We’re going to have to get serious on it tonight,” I mused. “We barely got the first part going last week, and that seems like the most straightforward one.”
“It’s a long song,” Tommy said simply. “But we’ll connect it all together.”
“I hope so.”
“It’ll likely be better today, since we’re not starting on it near midnight,” Muireann remarked.
“True, true ... Damn, we’re like a fricking machine here,” I remarked, as the washing was already wrapping up. It wasn’t unexpected, though; we’d been this way for months now, with everything from homework to chores.
I was the nearest person to the phone when it rang, so Muireann took over my job for the last few items as I answered.
“Hello!” I bellowed happily.
“I need to talk to Lara!” a desperate voice blurted out, shattering my grin.
“What? Who is this?”
“Please, can you put her on?”
“Pete? What’s going on?”
“Is she there?”
“Tell me what’s going on!”
“Skinner got mad again ... He’s not going to do the talent show!”
“What? He quit?” I exclaimed, as Lara and the twins slowed their activity and stared at me.
“Yeah, and I’m freaking out! Everything is fucked up!”
“Calm down, man. It’ll be all right.”
“It won’t! I can’t ... I need to talk to Lara, please!”
I hesitated, my heart racing at the desperation in his voice, an echo of things I still struggled with at times. “What happened with Skinner?”
“Is Lara there? Matt, you have to find her! Is she out?”
“Pete, calm down,” I repeated, though I found my advice becoming harder and harder for even me to follow at this point.
“I can’t man! I’m freaking out over here, and I don’t know ... I can’t ... Please...”
“Okay, let me go get her. Just stay on the line, okay?”
I cupped the mouthpiece and gestured Lara over. “It’s Pete.”
“I figured that much. What’s going on?”
“He’s freaking out, saying Skinner got mad and quit or something. He really wants to talk to you. I’m not sure, though ... He sounds weird.”
Lara’s eyes narrowed as anxiety flashed through them. She swallowed and steeled herself with a breath. “Okay, let me talk to him.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded resolutely. I braced myself and handed the phone to her as the twins stood near, aware of the gravity of whatever was unfolding.
“Hello?”
She listened and her face drew into concern right away.
“Pete, slow down! Don’t—”
She shook her head, her eyes growing wide.
“No! It’s not—”
She cupped the mouthpiece and looked at me with wretched eyes. “Go to his house!” she whispered. “And hurry!”
The alarm in her eyes put a whip to me. Hurry... ? On fearsome impulse I grabbed the car keys from the hook near the front door. I burst out onto the deck, taking the stairs in a single leap and almost wiping out upon landing in the loose dirt. I heard the door opening behind me and glanced back to find Muireann rushing after me.
“No, you don’t have to—” I called out to her.
“I’m coming with you,” she insisted, and with that she got in the passenger seat.
I fumbled with the keys, finally managing to start the engine, but then I let go of the clutch and the car lurched forward, stalling out. I’d forgotten that Sarah had said to always leave it in gear when parked.
Muireann put her hand on mine and gazed at me. “Matt ... Just take a breath.”
Oh yeah ... Breathe...
I did, calming myself. It would be no good if I steered into a ditch or got pulled over for driving like some idiot who didn’t have their license yet, even if I was exactly that.
“Okay ... Yeah, you’re right.”
I started the car again and this time I managed to think straight. I drove with care but not too slowly as we went down our driveway and then along the roads that led to Pete’s house. Muireann didn’t speak, only kept her hand on my forearm for support.
With the benefit of a car, Pete’s house wasn’t far at all, and I soon pulled into his empty driveway. Muireann and I rushed to the door. I was about to knock, when she stayed my arm.
“Does he know you’re coming?”
I considered. “I don’t know.”
Muireann carefully tried the door, but it was locked. She then knocked loudly. We waited anxiously as the lack of response grew more and more ominous. I rapped on the glass, pounded on the wood with my foot, and soon we were calling for Pete, making what noise we could, and hoping the neighbors weren’t dialing the cops.
Is he even home... ?
“Maybe he called from somewhere else,” I muttered.
Muireann was peering through the living room windows. “I don’t see anyone.”
“Their car isn’t here.”
None of these observations were quelling the fear, though. Muireann went around the side of the house while I knocked again. I soon heard another knocking sound from her direction. I ran to join her, finding her peering into Pete’s bedroom.
“He’s there!” she called.
I looked in. Pete was on his bed, curled up on his side. The phone was lying off the hook on his pillow. His room was a war zone, his chair lying on its side, his floor strewn with piles of clothes and bedding, writing implements, and a bunch of cassette cases in all manner of disarray.
“Pete!”
We screamed a few times, and then I made for the front of the house. Muireann started following me.
“No, stay there and watch him!” I called back to her.
I reached the front entrance, hesitated for a moment, and then smashed my elbow flatly against the seventh square of their nine-paned door. The glass shattered messily and I reached through the jagged hole to unlock the door. I was nowhere near steady enough for this task, though. When I pulled my arm out, a long bloom of red materialized on my inner forearm, immediately accompanied by a razor-sharp pain.
“Fuck!” I cried, squeezing my wrist tight as I pushed into the house unsteadily and rushed to Pete’s bedroom. His door was also locked, and there was no glass option this time. I pounded a few times, but Pete was clearly out of it ... or worse.
My heart was gripped tightly around my throat now. I threw my weight against the door, a second time, and a third, and fortunately the latch finally gave way. Muireann was still at the window, but she immediately disappeared from sight when she saw me crash in.
“Pete!” I cried, shaking his shoulder gently with my free hand as best I could, while I stemmed my own bleeding against my shirt.
No answer ... His eyes were open, staring at the wall. I could tell that he was alive, at least, but considering the complete lack of reaction to my dramatic entry, he was certainly out of it.
I picked up the idle phone, since I could hear Lara calling out from the tiny speaker in desperation.
“I’m here,” I gasped. “Not sure what’s going on, but he’s breathing.”
“Oh, thank god, Matt!”
“I’ll call you back.”
“No, leave the line open!” she pleaded.
I set the receiver down and shook Pete again, wincing at the drops of blood that my arm was spattering all over his sheet. Damn it...
“Come on, talk to me, man!”
Muireann entered in a rush. I showed her my wrist and shrugged desperately as the blood still seeped out of the cut. Her eyes widened and she immediately ran off again.
Desperation was edging into paralyzed fear now.
“Pete, are you hurt? Did you do something? Take pills? Talk to me man!”
He remained unresponsive.
I picked up the phone again. “Did he, Lara?”
“I don’t know!” she wailed. “He didn’t say!”
A slight bit of hope swelled in me as I saw him take a deeper breath. Still, I couldn’t be sure if he was just in a depressed trance or if something worse was happening to him as a result of—Of what? I looked around the room, but nothing dangerous was apparent in the mess. No guarantee, but it’s something to hold on to...
Muireann returned with a crumple of paper towels, which I promptly placed onto the cut. It was a wholly inadequate bandage, but it would have to do for now.
“Pete, I swear I’m about to take you to the hospital, if you don’t talk to me!”
I gave him only long enough for me to better organize the absorbent wad on my wrist. I was just about to ask Muireann to help me get him to the car, when he moved his arm to rub his eyes.
“Go home, Matt,” he croaked.
“What? Why?”
“There’s nothing you can do here.”
“I’m not fucking going home. Tell me what’s wrong!”
“Everything sucks ... And no one can fix it. Just go home. I’ll survive, even though I ... don’t want to...”
I glanced at Muireann. She was clearly stricken at the scene.
“I’m not going home, all right? Do you need to go to the hospital... ? Do you? Look, you either say no, or I’m dragging you to the car right now, whether you want to or not.”
Despite my threat, Pete still took his time in answering. “No. I didn’t do anything stupid. Not this time.”
Jesus... I took a long breath, shivering out the worst of my panic. “Okay ... That’s good...” I wheezed. “And I’m not going anywhere, all right?”
Muireann remained standing at the foot of the bed, her hand over her mouth. She only shook her head empathetically.
“You said something happened with Skinner,” I said, more quietly now. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
He took forever to answer. “I don’t think I can.”
“Okay, just relax then. Um ... When are your parents back?”
“I don’t know, but you don’t have to stay,” he muttered. “Go home.”
“Not happening, man. No way. We’ll get this sorted out, all right? I’m here for you. Stay calm.”
Pete started shaking somewhat violently, though. I kept a steadying arm on his shoulder, looking at Muireann with helplessness as she brought me a fresh wad of paper and took the red mess to the trash. On returning, Pete was still convulsing. She waved for me to move aside. I slid toward the foot of the bed so she could sit near him as he continued to melt down.
She steadied herself with a deep breath. I figured she was as overwhelmed as I was, and just trying to stay settled, but then she started to sing.
It was amplified by everything that was happening, so this also caused me to start trembling. Her pure voice filled the room, despite the fact that the melody came so quietly from her lips. It seemed a lullaby of sorts, in that language that was so soothing.
After a few minutes, I saw that Pete had stopped shaking. He rolled onto his back in a moment of tortured wonder, staring up at Muireann with bloodshot eyes. She sang on.
It was then that I noticed a red splotch on his pillow and panicked, before realizing that his left cheek was cracked open, bruised and bloody.
Oh my god ... Fucking Skinner... !
Before I could tear off a piece of my makeshift gauze, Pete turned back to his initial position and resumed staring at the wall again.
Despite wanting – needing, even – to listen to Muireann until she finished, however long that would take, I realized I had to make myself as useful as I could.
I squeezed Muireann’s free hand meaningfully and then rose. Satisfied that she had control of things for now, I stepped out into the house. A quick check around the main living space revealed nothing out of the ordinary. No pills, blades, blood, or guns...
I lifted the phone receiver in the kitchen, setting it aside, and then slipped back to his room. Quietly I took up the phone there and replaced it on the hook. Finally, I returned to the kitchen.
“Lara, are you there?”
“Yeah, I am,” she managed, though her voice was choked.
“Sorry for the clicking, but I wanted to talk to you in the other room, so I switched phones.”
“Yeah, I figured. What’s going on? I heard Muireann singing.”
“She’s with him, and he’s ... well, he’s lying in bed, so I guess he’s stable for now. What did he tell you?”
“I don’t really know. He’s not well, Matt. He was going on and on about stuff I couldn’t understand.”
“Did he say anything useful? I mean, I think he hasn’t done anything to himself, but...”
“No, he didn’t say anything like that, but he sounded like he was maybe going to.”
I sighed heavily. The nightmares keep multiplying...
“Okay, well ... Obviously we’re going to wait here at least until his folks get home.”
“Of course. Should I call Colin and Gwen, tell them not to come?”
I sighed, considering... “No, don’t call them. Have Tommy start teaching them Other Side, or we’re never going to learn it. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”
“Okay,” she said quietly. “Do you need any help over there? Should I come over?”
“No, just stay there. I need to think.”
“Okay. Call me if you need anything. I’ll stay here by the phone for now.”
“Sounds good.”
I hung up, but my pondering was soon interrupted by the phone ringing. Thinking it was probably Lara with second thoughts, I picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Oh my god, Pete?” came the urgent voice.
“Bruno?”
“Yeah ... Wait, who is this?”
“It’s Matt.”
“Oh, did I dial your house? Shit.”
“No, I’m at Pete’s.”
“Really? What are you doing there?”
I ignored his question. “What happened today?”
“What do you mean?”
“With Skinner, man. What happened?”
“Uh ... We were rehearsing, you know, and...” Bruno went quiet.
“Come on, man, I need you to tell me.”
“We had, um ... Well, we had rehearsal, and it wasn’t good, man. Pete was acting all weird, and...”
I didn’t have much patience as the silence returned. “Bruno, out with it already!”
“Well he, uh ... He’s been wanting to do some different songs for the talent show. He was kind of going crazy about it. I, um ... I feel bad, because I guess I asked him to pick a song we could try ... Like you told me in school the other day, remember?”
“Yeah, of course. Go on.”
“So I told him, bring in a song, we’ll try it out and see if we can do it. And he thought that was cool. But today he came over and was going berserk. He had like five songs on this mix tape, and he said was even going to sing one himself ... I mean we only have a few weeks until the show, and he wanted to learn all this new stuff.”
Oh, Pete...
“And what happened?” I asked, despite feeling like I knew how the rest of the story was going to go.
“It was weird music, man. Like noisy guitars, strange drum sounds ... I mean, it was interesting, but not the kind of stuff Skinner likes to play, that’s for sure. But Pete wouldn’t give it up, so he made us listen to all the songs, and Skinner was so not into it ... And Pete started being a bit of a jerk about it, honestly. Then Skinner finally flipped out, and he was like, this music is so shitty, and dissing it like crazy.”
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The morning Alana dropped me off, my reunion with Lara was delicious. We shared a long and happy hug. I’d made every effort while with Alana to do exactly one thing: be with my dear friend. But on returning, I let all that stored-up love for Lara emerge again, and I didn’t want to let go of her. Of course, we eventually had to peel apart. She was due at the shelter soon, so after greeting my moms and Frej, we resumed our morning walks that she’d kept up in my absence. As usual, we didn’t...
We entered August, the last full month of summer, of vacation, and of divine mountain warmth. I spent all my time at Clara’s; Lara increased her hours at the shelter since Chuck hired her more formally and started paying her for her computer work. Our tent became lived-in and undeniably welcoming the more we used it and adjusted our setup. With Frej’s help, we’d flown an oversized tarp above the area that gave us some dry space around the shelter in times of rain. It remained a heavenly...
Are you sure about this... ? Back down by the house, I found Frej in the garage. He was peering closely at a tangle of wires. “These new electronics...” he grumbled. “They are all so small and impossible to fix... ! Or maybe I need glasses.” I laughed as best I could with the tremors that seemed to be creeping into me from all sides. I haven’t been sure of anything lately... “Need a break?” I asked. He tossed the thing onto the worktable and grinned at me. “Yes, that is enough for...
We followed Heather down the pathway to the rocky intertidal expanse and picked our way toward the rowboat that sat patiently in the shallows. Between us, we silently pushed the craft into deeper waters, until it floated freely with enough clearance for the extra weight it would now carry. Heather held it steady as first Lara and then I got in. She joined us with a nimble leap. I studied the rowboat as I sat in the stern with Lara. Though clearly aged, it was sturdy and well-maintained. A...
Not even twenty-five hours into our new life, it became clear that our bodies were entirely unprepared for the relentless existence of sea-harvesting with Heather. When we awoke after that first night’s sleep, early morning’s glow was faint. What’s the rush? It was Heather who had roused us, and despite various attempts to roll over and slumber away the deep soreness that pervaded every cubic inch of my limbs, she would not allow it. I finally yawned, struggled to sit up, and gave her a look...
“Welcome to darkroom class,” I announced as Muireann followed me into the darkroom the following evening. She eyed me. “Are you going to lie on the bed again?” I grinned broadly. “I think I might, and let you do the work. Hands-on is the best way to learn, right?” “You’re going to give Tommy a run for the title of laziest boy.” “Am I winning yet?” Muireann just smirked and started blacking out the windows. “I have to admit something,” she said. “What’s that?” “I didn’t realize the...
When Melissa and I returned to the house after dropping off the order for the necklace, nothing much had changed. In the cabin I found Lara and Tommy at the table, intently studying a sheet of paper. They didn’t even glance at me as I closed the door. I could hear Muireann’s muffled fiddle playing from the darkroom, the sound of a slow Irish melody permeating the warmed air inside. “How’s it going?” I announced, taking off my coat. After scribbling something down, Lara turned to me, smiling...
I felt an arm grip my winter coat. “Matt ... I don’t know that we can do this!” “Of course you can. It’s not that hard.” “No, I’m worried about Tommy!” she whispered. “What if he falls? Or runs into someone?” I gave her gloved hand a pat. “He’ll be okay. It’s pretty soft, you know. Watch...” I let myself fall sideways like a cut tree, landing on my hip and shoulder. Muireann gave a little cry of surprise, but I just laughed it off. In another moment I was standing again. “You want to...
“We need to decide what song we’re going to audition with,” I announced, as the five of us settled into the cabin for some rehearsal. Colin looked at me. “Let’s vote then. What are the choices? We have a lot of songs that we know now. Some more than others.” “I’m thinking we should do an original,” I offered. “We have Four Days, Shell Game, Absinthe... And Please Don’t Stop, but since we played that one at the show last year, probably not a good idea.” “Don’t forget Gunkstomp!” Lara...
“What have we here?” Jane asked, coming to a stop in front of our half-dozen pictures. “Twins,” Muireann said. “Aha.” She examined our spread. “Did you do the project together?” “Aye, we tried something different.” I could hear the hope in Muireann’s voice, that this would be okay by our teacher. Jane pursed her lips. “Interesting approach.” “I know there’s only six photos, but we both did take six shots,” I explained. “There’s two exposures on each!” Jane gave me a small smile. “Yes,...
“Damn, I’ve missed you,” I whispered. She giggled. “Wow, I didn’t realize how much!” “Hey now! Hands above the waist!” Heather cuddled up closer to me on the couch as the hubbub carried on in the rest of the great room. After all the greetings and chats following our guests’ arrival, dinner was soon going to be ready. With Frej volunteering to help with what remained of meal preparations, we’d been told to go hang out. Not being one to deny my parents’ wishes, I didn’t think twice to drag...
I tried delaying our hike for a day. I really did. Although Heather’s ankle was sore after she removed the ski boots in the lodge, by the time we got home it was already feeling a little better. She could certainly get around, since it mostly hurt only when putting sideward pressure on it. Skiing was probably out for a few days, at least, but a walk through the woods was not worth postponing. Or so she said. I was of two minds. Twenty-four hours of extra rest would allow more time for her to...
The music store wasn’t too far from the jeweler’s shop, so Heather and I walked there. “I mean, I get it, now,” I said, still caught up in the surprising meaning of the Chinese symbol she now wore around her neck. “Oh, I think you got it a long time ago,” Heather said. “It’s just a word, Matt. It has no meaning on its own.” “I know, I know. It’s just ... most people would find it kind of...” “Weird,” she supplied. “You said it, not me,” I laughed. “It is what it is.” “Yeah ... Anyway,...
Three girls, three cameras... And me, tagging along, superfluous but certainly enjoying myself. I offered to be their model a few times, but they seemed to prefer photographing each other. And there was the teasing, of course. Endless. “Nice, Muireann!” Heather chirped. “You’ve learned a lot about photography, I can tell.” “She has a good eye,” Shannon agreed. “Matt has been teaching me.” “Which makes it all the more surprising!” Funny... But even there, I was given three cute grins,...
Admittedly, I was slightly apprehensive as we pulled into our clearing that evening after our day of skiing. Heather, alone with Tommy all day... The snow was falling heavily again through the headlight beams. Both Frej’s and the Martins’ cars were parked in the same positions they had been that morning, and they remained covered in several inches of snow. Oddly, there were no lights on in the main house. Maybe Muireann was rubbing off on me, because for a few seconds I had a panicked vision...
Mairead and Aongus left after lunch the next day, forced to end their vacation earlier than Frej and Heather due to the demands of the business they owned. I was indeed grateful for the Danishman’s generosity in allowing Heather to remain for another three days. The Martins’ departure left a rather obvious hole in our daily schedule. After dinner was cleared and we sat around the table, it suddenly seemed remarkably silent. The positive feedback loop between Tommy and Aongus had been...
I was grateful for the band. Heather’s departures were never a good thing for me, inevitably the start of a long slide down into wistful distance, but the fact that I could go from our final embrace to playing my guitar within fifteen minutes was at the very least a welcomed distraction. “So we need to start thinking about a set for the battle,” I said, once we’d played a few numbers to warm up and clear the farewell feelings as best we could. “We have six originals, so we’ll need another...
The week passed slowly and somewhat agonizingly, since Gwen couldn’t rehearse again until the following weekend, and the homework was being laid on thick. I was anxious to make as much progress as we could on the set, which we still hadn’t quite settled on. Certainly as the battle approached, I was imagining more and more how it might turn out, even though I knew that daydreaming about the glories of winning was a dangerous game. Things could turn out so many different ways, surely, but in...
If I hadn’t been sure that Tommy had Dr. Kendall in his back pocket, that was put to rest in study hall the following Tuesday. Carmen, Tommy, and I were walking along the outside of the school building, on our way to the fields as was our habit now, when the principal rounded the far corner and came toward us. “Uh oh,” Carmen said. “Caught.” “Principal alert,” I whispered, for Tommy’s benefit. The three of us laughed quietly, all of us wearing shades as was our other habit these days. “We...
Carmen was disappointed but seemed understanding when I called her to let her know that we didn’t have room for her after all. It was a bit strange to talk to her on the phone, something that I didn’t think I’d ever done before. Odd, considering we were together for a while. Then again, this fact was testament to how messed up that time had been for me. Saturday evening arrived, and it was not without some anxiety that we packed the gear into Colin and Shannon’s vehicles. While my moms...
“Hello?” “Oh hi, Mrs. Martin. How are you?” “Matt ... It’s me,” Heather said. I jerked in my chair. “What... ? No way! You said ‘Hello’!” “I guess I did.” This must be part of a joke... “Okay ... Where have you been? We were supposed to talk on Wednesday, remember?” “What day is it today?” Heather asked. I was quiet for a second. “It’s Friday? Seriously, is everything all right? You answered weird ... Well, you answered normally, which is weird for you. And you really don’t know what...
I was surprisingly alert when Tommy and I slipped into Frej’s car at a quarter of six, just as the light was starting to make itself known in the east. I let Tommy have the front so I could squeeze against Heather in the back. “Good morning, my love,” she whispered, and immediately I wondered if I was overdressed for the warmth she caused in me. Maybe forgetting all my clothes at home would be okay after all. Damn kissing ban, though... “Is your man coming with us today?” Tommy asked...
Lara responded so sweetly when I asked if she could entertain the twins, that I took her into a surprisingly hard hug. We were alone in my room, so I made no effort to hold back. “Easy there, bro,” she warned, even as she returned the tight embrace. “I’m so sorry about the underwater thing,” I breathed. “I still feel terrible about it.” “No sweat. I know you didn’t do it on purpose, because you hate doing laundry. And now you’re stuck doing it every day!” I laughed. “True. But it’s the...
It was strange to wake up. I was still on the couch, but Heather was gone, and I was horizontal and covered by a blanket. I could hear my moms and aunt chatting in the living room, since I was occupying their usual morning hangout spot. Then again, the sun was bright and the shadows on the porch floor were well past parallel to the wood beams, suggesting that my first meal of the day would be called ‘late lunch’ and certainly not ‘breakfast’. So, I really took their usual afternoon spot......
I think I’m half-Danish... It took me a moment, I’ll admit. It was perhaps like seeing someone on a distant hill make an odd movement, and only realizing a long second later that it was the head-on motion of an archer having released an arrow to fly forth from her bow. It took me a moment, yes, but then that five-word missile arrived, slamming into my heart with surgical precision. The world seemed to spin. I only knew one Danish person, and I knew him quite well. I struggled to hold her...
“Do you wish this never happened?” she asked quietly. I turned to look at Heather, her face illuminated by the fading twilight. Until now, Heather had not spoken in the half-hour or so since I’d silently confirmed her connection to Frej. I didn’t mind the quiet, because I had much to think about myself. The pier was strangely deserted, and we’d migrated to the gazebo to sit. “Why do you say that?” I asked. “Because it really puts a new light on everything.” “It does, it does,” I agreed....
I was just about to make a call when Lara poked her head into my room. “Back to the telephone life, huh?” she said, giving me a sympathetic look. “Yep. Hard times again.” “You could’ve been born a hundred years ago,” she observed, “and then you wouldn’t even have had the phone.” “If I’d been born a hundred years ago, I would’ve missed out on her completely. And on you too, sis ... But I’m glad for the phone either way.” Lara nodded thoughtfully. “True. Come up to the cabin when you’re...
On Monday, I was very relieved to get summoned to the principal’s office. Despite the amused looks I got from my classmates, I was feeling pretty high. Dr. Kendall had been silent since our meeting the previous week, a bit worrisome since the time before May wasn’t exactly abundant. But I trusted in his promise, and now it seemed we’d be shifting into gear. When I stepped into his office, another man was already sitting in one of the chairs. He looked vaguely familiar. I took the initiative...
“Sorry I stole your bed,” Lara said, giving me a sheepish grin as she wandered out of my room the next morning. I shrugged. “The couch is comfortable enough.” “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. We were working on lyrics, you know, and ... Yeah. Where is everyone?” “Colin’s not here yet, and Gwen came by a while ago but just grabbed Muireann and took off. And you and Tommy have been sleeping like logs.” “Where did Gwen take her?” “Beats me. She said they’d be back in a few...
“Hello?” Uh oh ... That’s not good... “I don’t like the sound of that,” I said. “The last time you answered ‘Hello’ was—” “Good evening, Matt,” Mairead interrupted. “Oh, hi, Mrs. Martin!” “Heather is not here,” she added, her voice quite amused. I would’ve laughed, except that I suddenly realized how close I’d just been to revealing Heather’s secret. Holy shit... ! Way too close. “I’m sorry about that just now,” I explained, my skin prickling. “Sometimes Heather, well ... She’ll...
The scene at Smith Park, when we pulled in around noon, was rather astonishing. The light scaffolds loomed over the stage, and for a long moment I stood by the car door in complete shock. We’re going to be playing on that... ! “Are you coming, lad?” Tommy asked, having already seized his guitar and equipment bag from the trunk. I snapped out of it and went to grab my own things. “Yeah. It’s just that ... it looks pretty damn neat, man.” He grinned. “I’m sure it does. Now let’s go set...
The post-concert went by in a rush. People came and went, to greet us, share their joy and emotions. The twins and Lara in particular were mobbed, which was fine with me. I’ve had just about as much excitement as I can take... After hugging the people closest to me, I slipped back up to the stage again, grateful for the banality of winding cables, collapsing mic stands, and the opportunity to help the sound and lighting crews get their work done just a little faster. They’d been amazing...
Away... From us... To say these words affected me would be a vast understatement. The massive upwelling that I’d seen a moment earlier in Heather’s eyes, that flood which would destroy everything around ... It suddenly burst out of the sea. Nothing prepared me for its impact. My throat constricted and suffocation beckoned, caressing me gently into blackening edges. “Why?” I tried to ask, but the sound was grotesque, a pitiful gurgle at best. “Shh, shhhh,” she consoled through tears,...
On the day that our connection was severed, I was roused by a warm hand caressing my face, the fingers leaving behind energetic currents. “Good morning, my love...” I opened my eyes all at once. The sun was just barely tinting the sky, and I was disoriented, wondering why the couch felt odd. It took me a moment to realize that I was down in the main house. Memories abruptly returned in a panicked rush. The night before, after partying for a while, the three of us had taken to Lara’s old bed...
The long work of pulling the concert together had fully caught up and crashed into me. That wasn’t the source of my problems, though, or I would’ve simply slept hard for a few days and been done with it. If I’d wanted to take a ‘sick’ day or two to stay home from school, no one would have batted an eyelid, for any of us. I wouldn’t have even had to fake a fever, holding the thermometer against a hot light bulb. I could just cash in on good karma. Instead, on Wednesday I’d found myself...
“So, how much of this will you tell Tommy?” It was the first thing Muireann had said in some time, having grown progressively more reticent as I revealed my secrets to her, one by one. There were many, so it had taken a long while. But they were out, now... All of them. “Tommy...” I murmured. “Yeah, I’m not sure.” “He’s very fond of Lara.” I sniffed. “I know that. You think he’ll be weirded out?” “I can’t say for sure. And what about her?” I frowned. “Lara? She knows all of this...
That evening, I was once again drained. Despite the temporary refueling that Muireann had gifted me in the pool after the terror of Pete’s episode, the subsequent rehearsal of Other Side had eventually sapped me. I could also tell that Muireann was almost as wiped as I was. The song was intense. It was a great relief when we both settled down into our beds in the main room of the cabin, her on the cot and me on the couch. “The downside of sleeping out here is that you can’t go to bed until...
Pete didn’t attend school the rest of the week. The two times I called over to his house, I hung up as soon as I heard his dad answer. Even Bruno said that he hadn’t been able to talk to him since the day he canned Skinner. I was feeling unsettled again, but I held on to the hope that whatever was in motion was happening out of sight. It was all I could do, besides barging over there again and trying to force another chat. In the meantime, I made sure that all my other irons were still in...
The talent show was in full swing. Ready or not, the acts were cycling on and off the stage with inevitable tempo. This time around, Green Space had opened the show, and The Nameless would soon close it. “I hope Pete keeps it together,” I said to Lara, as we stood in the wing watching a kid play a rather impressive classical piece on the piano. “He will. Muireann seems to have a calming influence on him.” “Yeah, I noticed. She’s been so helpful in dealing with Pete these last few weeks, I...
It was early evening on Sunday and the final music marathon was coming to an end, our last opportunity for rehearsing as a full band before Jonah’s concert the following weekend. Gwen was particularly intent about everything, calling out any and all problems she heard, and by now we didn’t question her judgment or ear. The only unknown was if we had the skill to do whatever she asked of us. Usually we did, even if it meant practicing it thirty times. Or more, in my case... But now it was...
We arrived at Jonah’s in the early afternoon as arranged. He emerged from the side door of the Castle, grinning broadly. “What’s up, motherfuckers!” “Fella’s in a better mood than usual,” Tommy quipped. “Aye, probably this is his highest form of greeting,” Muireann added. We exchanged fist bumps, handshakes, and shit-eating grins. “This event is going to be the jewel in the Castle’s crown, I’m fucking telling you!” he gushed. “You’ve been busy,” Lara said, looking around at the yard...
Sunday was a complete waste. I spent the morning dead to the world, vaguely aware of being moved from Jonah’s cabin to Shannon’s car, and then to Colin’s recliner. At least the world was happy about something, because whenever I was semi-conscious I could mostly hear laughing around me. In retrospect, I was obviously being hidden from my folks until such time that I was with it again; that turned out to be late afternoon. Well, maybe not ‘with it’, but a few hours before dinner I finally...
I slumped in the front seat as Sarah started the car. She drove slowly, winding through the short-term parking lot, then out into the seemingly hundreds of ramps and exchanges that strangled the airport like a concrete octopus. Eventually the stress of navigating lanes and fighting off aggressive taxis dissipated as she started heading east on the Southern State Parkway. East, yes, because we had a stop to make. In fact, the twins would be sleeping in their own beds again before I did. Then...
The elation and fright of what I’d just done with the necklace still fluttered violently in me when I arrived at my destination a little while later. I could still go back to the pier... ‘It was all a mistake, Darya ... A joke... !’ I swiped the ridiculous idea aside as I stared at the house. There was no need to climb the stairs and knock, on the chance that anyone would be there. The ‘For Sale’ sign out front and lack of decorations on the porch were enough indication that they’d moved...