Ms. Yates, Chapters 4 And 5 free porn video

Four Barbara took her shopping the next night for a dress, a plum cowl neck number that made it appear as if her boobs might be a little bigger than they actually were. Friday night, Meredith invited her over for an impromptu dance lesson from Alyssa, which was when they both found out that Rick Hayden had asked Alyssa to the dance. "You ready for that?" Meredith asked. "Only one way to find out," Alyssa replied. Tina had a funny feeling that she was uneasy. "Besides, Tina and I are going to keep our guys on the dance floor all night. Rick told me they got D'Onofrio as the DJ, and he is notorious for long, long mixes of trance and electronica." The lesson consisted of Alyssa and Tina dancing together to a CD that Alyssa had brought with her. "Dance music isn't my thing," Meredith had explained. As they danced, Tina became fascinated at how Alyssa lost herself in the music. Her dance moves weren't wild or exaggerated, and at a rave she wouldn't have attracted any attention at all. But her body swayed and flowed with the music, and she found it incredibly sensual. She started to imitate it. They had only been dancing a short while when Meredith blurted, "Oh, no! No! You can't dance like that!" Tina stopped, stunned. Alyssa was still dancing. "What?" Tina asked. "Why not?" "Not you. Alyssa!" She stopped. Meredith stopped the music. "What's the matter?" Alyssa asked. The smile was teasing, the eyes inviting, the manner coy. "You know very well what the matter is. You know what you look like when you dance like that?" She lowered her voice. "You are screaming, 'Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.'" Alyssa protested that she was just getting into the music. "But you can't dance like that tomorrow night. For that matter," she added, turning to Tina, "neither can you. And you're almost as good at it as she is." "I don't understand," Tina said. "I'm getting horny watching you two," Meredith said. "The boys will be in overload." "Dancing is courtship in motion," Alyssa said. "It's an invitation to intimacy. You can make it as explicit or as subtle as you choose. Most girls are playful on the dance floor but don't look to send specific invitations. Some wait until slow dances, when it's a lot easier to let a boy know what you want. Sending signals when fast dancing is fun if you have a talent for it." "But it has consequences," Meredith said. "I know." Meredith stared at her, real concern in her eyes now. "I have to do this," Alyssa said, softly. "I think he may be the right guy." "But, I thought..." Tina began, then caught herself. Alyssa smiled and took her hand and squeezed it. "That was a year ago, when I was in a really bad way and Meredith proved what a wonderful friend she was, and is." She turned back to Meredith. "I just have to find the right guy. If he's not it, I'll know soon enough." Tina was about to ask what all this had to do with her, when Alyssa put the music back on and they started dancing again. The pulsing beat energized her and she gave herself over to it, as before. She felt her body moving in ways she'd never tried before, and it felt so good. The next day, Meredith and Jeff went to the game with Tina. Alyssa went with Rick, and they all sat together. Both teams came into the game undefeated, and it was assumed by all that the winner of this game would take the title. Tina had seen Ken outside the gate beforehand. "You're going to be great," she said. "I know," he said. "You're here." She was still floating when they sat down in the bleachers. Oak Manor scored on the first possession to take a 7-0 lead. Stevenson took the ball at their own twenty yard line, but it seemed that every play was stopped by Ken Carlisle, who dominated play from his linebacker position. The game stayed tight, and 7-0 was the score at halftime. "You know," Jeff said to Tina as the school band performed, "I'm beginning to think that all the hype about that guy might be true." The third quarter was scoreless, but Oak Manor added a field goal early in the fourth to take a 10-0 lead. "Stevenson has to open up," Rick said. "I think we may be in for a real show." Stevenson ran the kickoff back to their own 32 yard line. On the first play, the quarterback faked a handoff and dropped back to pass, but no sooner did he look for a receiver than he was flat on his back. Ken had read the fake and rushed into the backfield. On the second play, the quarterback dropped back to pass but Ken flushed him out of the pocket and a lineman brought him down for another loss. On the third play, Ken moved in over the center before the snap and was in the backfield at the same time as the ball. The quarterback tried to retreat and gain control of the ball at the same time, but Ken slammed into him, knocking the ball away, then rushed after it, picked it up, and ran it in for a touchdown. When the final gun sounded, Ken came over to the near sideline, peered into the stands, and when he spotted Tina, he pulled off his helmet, stood and pointed to her. "I wish he hadn't done that," she said with a sigh. "Hey," Meredith cracked, "that's love." # Meredith came over that night while she got dressed. "I feel bad that you're not going to be there," Tina said as she finished applying mascara. "Normally, I would. Karen Coogan wanted to go. But my cramps right now are so bad, I'd be lousy company for anyone. Just please call me when you get home and tell me all about it." "What if you're asleep?" Meredith winced. "I won't be," she groaned. The doorbell rang just as Tina was finishing her makeup, and Meredith went downstairs to leave by the back door. She heard her mother welcome Ken, and reminded herself that she had to do something nice for Mom in return, because Mom had let her go with Ken despite grave misgivings, which only began with the fact that he was driving his father's car. Barbara had lent her a pair of pearl earrings and a pair of four inch heels. A light spritz of perfume and she was ready. She made her way carefully down the stairs, wondering how she was going to manage dancing in these heels, when she saw Ken. He was wearing a white shirt and sports jacket, no tie. "Have a nice time," Marjorie said. As they walked down the driveway, Ken slipped his arm around her waist. "That's love," Meredith had said. Tina wondered if it could be true. "You played wonderfully well today," she said when he got into the car. He smiled. "Yeah, I have to say I was happy with that. Thanks for being there." It was only once they were at the dance that she realized they would be with his teammates and their dates for the evening. She prayed they could spend most of the time on the dance floor. She saw Alyssa, looking gorgeous in a black sheath dress that barely came to mid-thigh. Rick seemed dazzled by her, and she couldn't help but think back on how nice he'd been the whole week. Ken wasn't much of a dancer, barely moving with the music. The DJ had just started what promised to be a long set, so she decided to emulate Alyssa and let herself go with the flow of the music. As it had in Meredith's basement, the music took her, and she noticed that he was getting into it as he watched her dance. When the set was finished, she was glad for the break. They went up to the cafeteria for some cold drinks and while she was waiting for Ken, she saw Deanna Yardley. Still flush with the excitement of the dance, she greeted her cheerfully and was taken aback when Deanna returned her friendly greeting with a scowl. "Aren't we the little dance queen," Deanna said. Just then, Mary Ellen Page, captain of the cheerleaders, walked by and cast a derisive sneer in Deanna's direction. Tina saw Deanna wilt. Pretending she hadn't heard, she said, "I have a favor to ask of you, if you're not with anyone. Ken mentioned that a couple of the guys didn't have dates - you know, the quieter ones." "You're looking to fix me up?!" Tina laughed. "No, silly. I'm looking to fix one of them up. I'm just hoping you'll help. I love that dress, by the way." Ken came over with a couple of large sodas. "Ken," Tina said, "I was telling Deanna that a couple of the guys look like lost souls tonight. Don't you think Paul would love to dance with her? Doesn't she look great?" Ken turned to Deanna. "You'd do that? I mean, Paul's a really nice guy, but he's shy." "Um...sure, that would be great." "Thanks," Tina said. "You're an angel." "I'll go get Paul," Ken said, and left them. "No," Deanna said softly as she looked into Tina's eyes. "You are." Her feet, ankles and lower legs were throbbing, so she didn't object when they sat down at a table with some of the players and their dates after the second dance set. Paul and Deanna, having hit it off nicely, joined them. So did Jack Quinn, the team quarterback, and his girlfriend, Mary Ellen Page. Mary Ellen was warm and friendly toward the other girls at the table. Then she turned to Tina and said, "You do realize that Ken only asked you tonight because no real girl would go out with him." Deanna turned to Mary Ellen and fixed upon her the sweetest smile. "So nice to know that Tina has so much more class than you do," she said. The captain of the cheerleaders suddenly remembered she needed to powder her nose and left the table. "Thanks," Tina said. Deanna patted her hand. As Ken was driving her home, he asked what had gone on with Mary Ellen. "Nothing, just girl talk." He cast a sidelong glance at her, but she just smiled. He turned serious. "You're beautiful when you dance." "Thanks." It's like a spell has been cast, she thought. He's so sweet, so caring. "You were so great in the game," she said. "You were there." I'm a real girl, she thought. I have a boyfriend. He really likes me. Me! She felt a stirring in her breast and realized it wasn't irritation. It was different. Beautiful and sweet. He parked in front of her house. As they walked up the driveway, he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. As they got close to the front door, she leaned her head on his shoulder and whispered, "side door" and they walked around the garage to the side of the house, away from any peering eyes. Even though she wore the heels, he towered over her. She started to thank him for the lovely evening, and he was right there. Closer. His lips brushed against hers as he took her in his arms. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck. But no sooner had she done so than she felt his grip on her lower back ease and he broke off the kiss. She looked at him questioningly but he wouldn't meet her gaze. "Gotta go," he said. And he was gone. # She ducked several phone calls from Meredith on Sunday. She tried to lose herself in assigned reading for lit class, reading a few weeks ahead. She only vaguely registered the noise downstairs, until Meredith was in her room, closing the door behind her. "What's the deal?" It wasn't said accusingly. But it also didn't pretend that everything was okay. This was what she loved so much about her friend. "I can't talk about it." For a moment, she only stared at her friend. Then, a sob. By the time the second one had escaped, Meredith was holding her, kissing her head and holding her some more. "He started to kiss me goodnight," she said at last, "and then suddenly it was like he had swallowed something rotten." "First kisses are always awkward." "It's not funny." But Meredith only smiled. "Actually, it is, in a way, thinking of you making out with the best football player in the school, him knowing all about you." Tina tried to smile. She didn't quite get there. "You sure he was the only one who was suddenly uncomfortable?" Meredith asked. "After all, you're in uncharted territory, now, and you yourself said you really didn't know what you wanted. Does this change anything?" Tina considered it. "I don't know. I thought I was going to be his girl. He seemed to want it, until he realized..." She stopped, unable to put the rest into words. "I know. That ugly fact that you wish wasn't a fact but is, and it will always be. And it sucks that you might let it ruin a perfect night. "Alyssa told me about you on the dance floor, looking better than you had in my basement. She told me about you fixing up Deanna Yardley, and then Deanna putting down Mary Ellen, cunt that she is. Sounded like a real Cinderella night, so when I didn't hear from you with all the juicy details, I knew something had gone way wrong. "And I was pretty sure what." They talked another two hours. Ken was a sweetheart and a really decent human being, but he wasn't going to be able to get past the one part of Tina that wasn't all girl. At the same time, he was a very big part of why she had only been given a moderately hard time in school. "So, you think I should still be friends with him?" "Well, yeah. All last night showed was that it wasn't going to work out, you two being boyfriend and girlfriend. That happens all the time, and friendships continue." Tina pondered that. "Let me ask you something," Meredith said. "Let's pretend for a minute that he hadn't pulled away. Suppose he'd opened his mouth and started tonguing you." Tina stared at her. "Yeah? You'd have Frenched him?" "I don't know. Probably not. I mean, it was a first date." "Okay, so let's say you went out with him some more. Third date, tongues okay?" She blushed and said, "Maybe." "Touching your titties?" "Meredith!" "They all want to. Guys love boobs, even little ones like yours. So, yeah? Titty play?" The blush got much deeper. "Touch his cock?" "Meredith, it is not all about sex!" She turned serious. "That's just the point, girlfriend. In this case, it is all about sex. Because you haven't yet worked out who you will and who you won't do it with. And that's fine, but if you haven't figured out if you would do it with Ken, is it really so terrible that Ken isn't sure if he would do it with you?" Tina suddenly looked very bleak. "Then why did he want to kiss me in the first place?" "Because you did such a great job of convincing him you are all girl. And in your heart, you are. But, for whatever reason, he remembered and that made him slam on the brakes." Later in the week, she would have almost the identical conversation with Dr. Fleming, who reached the same conclusion. That same night, Ken called her. He wanted to apologize for the way their date had ended. He had just gotten a little carried away and wanted to stop before it was too late. She smiled at that. "It was a magical evening, and I really had a wonderful time," she replied. "If you want to just be friends, and not date, I would definitely understand." "Really? You sure?" "I'm sure." She started downstairs a while later but stopped at the head of the stairs when she heard her mother on the phone. She was obviously angry. "I don't see how that's any of your business!" Marjorie snapped. "How I raise my children is my responsibility, Dan. I didn't see you coming around with child support payments after Joel died." Barbara came out of her room. "What's going on?" she asked in a whisper. "I don't know. It sounds like Mom is arguing with Uncle Dan." "Because it's what he felt he needed to do," Marjorie said, trying to keep her voice down. "We consulted experts in the field, and then I allowed him to make his own decision. And I will tell you, it is the best thing we could have done, because she is much happier as a girl than she ever was as a boy!" Tina gasped, and Barbara put her arm around her. "Come on, Sis, you don't need to hear this." She wouldn't move. "Well, maybe I should lecture you...on how not to hurt people you supposedly love, how not to provide an example of intolerance to your children, on how not to tear a family apart," Marjorie said, her voice rising. "That is a contemptible thing to say, and plainly ignorant, besides!" By the time Marjorie slammed down the phone, Tina was crying. Marjorie came rushing out of her bedroom. "Were you two eavesdropping?!" she shouted. "Mom," Barbara replied softly as she held Tina, "it wasn't a private conversation." Marjorie walked slowly back into her bedroom and sat down heavily on the bed with her face in her hands. Barbara pulled Tina into the room and they sat next to their mother. "This is all my fault," Tina said, her voice suddenly desolate. "Bull shit!" Barbara snapped. Marjorie looked up, brushing away tears. "I will remind you that we are all of us intelligent and cultured ladies. All of us!" Barbara smiled. Tina stared at the floor. Marjorie took her younger daughter's hands in hers. "Look at me, my darling," she said. "Your sister may have put it too inelegantly for my taste, but she's right. You were the unhappiest teen I ever saw because for years you were trying to be what other people wanted you to be; now, you are being what you want to be, and you've become one of the happiest teens I've ever seen, regardless of certain misadventures with the newly opposite sex." Tina looked wide-eyed. "What? You thought I didn't know?" Marjorie said with a laugh. "How bad is it?" Barbara asked. "Let's just say it's going to be a lot quieter around here on the holidays than we're used to. But," she added, turning back to Tina, "I'd rather spend every holiday with my two lovely girls than with all the other people in the world." Five Tina did her best to put a brave face on it, but she didn't fool Meredith, who at first thought she was still distraught over how her date with Ken had ended. "No," she said as they walked home from school. "We agreed just to be friends. We're cool." "So, then, what's the problem?" They walked a short way in silence. "Fuck!" Meredith said. "You're going into 'lockdown' mode. I thought that went away with Chris." Tina still didn't react. Meredith decided to wait her out. "My house," she said as they turned onto the block. "Meredith, you are my very best friend and I love you. But there are some things that we have no right to inflict on other people, and you have to trust me that this is one of those times. I have already been selfish beyond belief and hurt people who only wanted the best for me, and that has to stop." She turned away and went into her own house. She tried to force herself to do schoolwork, but then put that aside and started reading "The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter." She dozed off. When the ringing of the phone in Marjorie's room woke her, it was already dark outside. When she went downstairs for dinner, her mother and sister both looked at her in alarm and asked what was wrong. "Nothing. Why?" "Because this is the first time since you started being Tina that you've looked this bad," Barbara said. "Usually, you brush your hair and fix your makeup for everything." Tina shrugged but said nothing. "Agnes Bennett called before," Marjorie said. "She invited you for a sleepover this weekend." "A sleepover?" Barbara gasped. "Really? Wow, Ms. Bennett is way more progressive than even I would have thought." "I think," Marjorie replied, shifting in her seat, "she understands the unique nature of Tina's relationship with Meredith." "Tell her thanks but no thanks," Tina said without looking up. "I will do no such thing. And neither will you." "Mom, I appreciate what you're trying to do for me, but..." "I'm not doing anything, other than allowing you to spend the night at a friend's house. And, no, I haven't told Meredith's mother anything. She just told me that Meredith came home worried sick about you, and asked her if she could have you stay over." Tina got up and went to the phone. She punched in the number from memory. Meredith answered on the first ring. "You'd better be calling to say yes," she said. "What's the matter?" "You! You sounded suicidal today." "I'm not." "I don't believe you." Tina hung up and ran out the door, across the strip of lawn between the two houses, and knocked on the kitchen door. Ms. Bennett opened it, looking very alarmed, but Tina ran past her and into Meredith's arms. They clung to each other for several minutes. "Promise me you'll come. Promise!" "I'll come. I will." "Why not make it for the weekend?" Ms. Bennett asked. Tina started to protest, but saw Meredith glaring at her and decided to accept. # After dinner, they watched movies. Romances. When they went upstairs, Meredith's bed had a cot attachment that slid out. "Your mom doesn't mind?" Tina asked. "Mom understands that there isn't a chance in the world of a penis ever penetrating this vagina, although I have to admit that if anyone was ever going to tempt me, it would be you." "Really?" Meredith laughed. "Shit! I love when you do that. Your voice goes way high, and you kind of crinkle up your nose. No wonder Ken nearly fell for you - you really are all girl." Meredith pulled off her shirt and quickly shed her bra, displaying her ample C-cup breasts. Tina pouted that she wasn't all girl, yet. "Patience, Cupcake, you got a late start. Let's see." Tina took off her top and unclasped the A-cup bra that had already replaced the training bra. Her nipples were still puffy and red. "Ooh, you're getting there faster than you think. Your hair's getting longer, too." She was starting to relax. "You haven't asked me, yet. You know, about..." "I'm not going to. You'll tell me when you're ready. But not now." They were facing each other, Tina a little taller, leaner, Meredith more curvaceous. Both were only wearing panties, now. Meredith bathed her in warm smile. "I'm jealous," Tina said, staring at the full breasts in front of her. Meredith sat on the bed and pulled Tina down next to her. "Don't be. Yours are more beautiful than you can imagine. If you'll let me, I can show you why." She put her arm around her and pulled her close. When Tina felt her breast touch Meredith's, she gave a soft involuntary purr. "Mmmm," Meredith said. "Nice, isn't it?" Tina wasn't expecting the kiss, but she liked it. Softly, slowly, sweetly, they began to kiss and to tease with their tongues. Meredith opened her mouth in invitation and Tina's tongue immediately darted in. "Good girl," Meredith whispered. Tina's breathing was growing heavier as their kissing grew more ardent. Meredith gently pushed her down to the bed, and Tina wrapped her arms around her friend's neck, and the brushing of hardened, mature nipples against her soft and puffy ones made her moan. "Mmmm," Meredith said, her voice soft and husky. "You are soooo sexy..." Jolt after electric jolt shot through her as Meredith continued to tease her with her nipples. She could feel increasing wetness in her panties, and she knew that her little nub was as hard as it could still get and throbbing. Meredith slid down and began kissing her neck, mixing in a playful lick from time to time that made her giggle. But then she began a series of very light, very soft kisses, tracing a lazy line down from her neck, across the upper part of her chest, and finally kissing, so softly, the top of her left breast. Tina started to murmur with delight. "Yes, Cupcake," Meredith whispered. "It gets better." She kissed a slow line toward the nipple, each kiss a little lighter and softer than the one before, until she reached the soft, puffy, tender mound itself, which she lapped with her wet tongue. Tina instinctively reached for Meredith's breast. "No, no, no. Plenty of time for that later. This is for you." She felt her legs sprawl wantonly apart, but mostly she knew her friend's gentle tongue worship of her little titties, her breathing louder, heavier, laced with soft cries of delight. She could feel a wave building inside of her. "Meredith..." "I know, baby." The lapping was so soft, so gentle...Meredith slowly slid her leg upward and brushed against her wet nub...lights seemed to flash and she cried out... "Mmmm, my little kitten likes that..." She shifted to the other breast, licking, kissing and teasing. Tina tried to lower her moaning but couldn't. That wet tongue on her nipple...the wave was growing...she wanted it... "Meredith..." she pleaded. "Touch yourself." She reached down. Big wet spot. One touch. She went over. Meredith kissed her hard on the mouth to stifle her cries. Tina again wrapped her in a tight embrace, and was stunned when she felt herself being pushed away. "I know," Meredith said, grinning, "but before we do anything else, you need to put those sopping wet panties over there and put on a clean, dry, sperm-free pair." They both giggled. Tina was amazed at the large blob of goo in her panties. She cleaned herself up, put on a pink lace pair and then rejoined her friend in bed. "I can't suck on yours, yet, because it would hurt," Meredith said. "But you can suck on mine all you like." She immediately took a nipple into her mouth, noticing it was rock hard. She sucked hard until Meredith started to sigh. But then she remembered what it had been like to have her nipples licked, and she began to lick her friend's. "Don't tease me." But when she did, she noticed the moans were deeper, longer. Her tongue traced circles around the large, dark areolas. Soon, Meredith's legs were splayed as far apart as Tina's had been. She kissed her way down, the musky aroma of Meredith's pussy growing a little stronger as she went. When she reached the top of her panties, she hesitated. Meredith reached down and pulled them off in one motion, then grinned at her. "Just don't use your thingie," she said, giggling. The ever stronger aroma from her now very wet vagina was intoxicating, and Tina was drawn to it. She planted a kiss at the top of it. "Oh!!" Tina pulled back. "No, no...don't stop. But you landed right on my clit. Start at the bottom." Tina tried to plant a kiss in the wetness, but only penetrated with her nose. She decided to lick, instead. She drew the her tongue all the way up the wet slit but pulled away before she hit what she now knew was the clit. "Shit, you're good!" Again and again, she licked, teasingly brushing against Meredith's pulsing clit. She started kissing it. Then licking it. Meredith was moaning, now. "Oh, yes! Tease it with your tongue...mmmm...kiss it...oh!!" Tina giggled a little, then, deciding she liked the way Meredith's pussy tasted, drew her tongue long and hard from the bottom of her slit to the top. "You're so good...so good..." Tina gave a long, hard lick... "Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Ohhhhhhhh...MMMMMMMMM..." Tina crawled up and kissed her on the mouth, and giggled as Meredith licked the juices from her face. A sharp knock at the door and they froze. "Oh, girls!" Ms. Bennett called through the closed door. "I'm glad you two are having such a good time, but could you please keep it down? The moans and cries are drowning out my movie." "Oh, shit!" Tina gasped. Meredith just chuckled. "Relax. She's just teasing us." "But you said she was confident we wouldn't do anything." "No, I said I was confident that she wouldn't worry about you fucking me. And you didn't. Now let's cuddle." Tina sighed with contentment as she settled into welcoming arms and nestled against soft breasts. Slowly, softly, she told Meredith about the fight her mother had had with her uncle. "I feel like I've ruined everything." "That's like the slave taking responsibility for the master being so cruel." "But my family turned away from us because of me." "Their problem, not yours. We aren't exactly tops on the guest lists in our family either, because my mom is cool with me being a lesbian. Not just okay with it, but actively supporting it." "Maybe she is, too." Meredith laughed, a soft chuckle. "I think she wants to be but holds back. She doesn't date much these days, and she's never brought a guy back. But I sometimes think she'd be a lot happier if she could find a woman to make love with her the way you and I just did." Tina hesitated, then asked. "Where did you learn all that?" It had been the summer before seventh grade, the one time she'd gone to sleep-away summer camp. She had already known that she liked girls, and there was a counselor, Angie, a lovely 17-year-old with full breasts and a slightly oversized ass. "I was instantly in love. I had never felt that way about anyone." Angie was sweet, and had a way with girls away from home for the first time. Initially, she mistook Meredith's longing glances for homesickness, until Meredith started looking for excuses to come to her cabin late at night. "I was mesmerized by her body, and by her eyes. It was like a bell suddenly went off and it clicked with her. She asked me if I liked girls, and I said, 'I do now'. She laughed at that." They went out into the hot night and found a secluded spot away from the camp area. The kisses didn't stay shy and innocent for long, and before Meredith knew it, they were both naked. "My boobs were only a little bigger than yours are now, and I was jealous, just like you. But then she kissed me and promised me I'd soon change my mind, and she proceeded to explain what she was doing and why. "I was heartbroken when camp ended." Tina drifted off to sleep. They slept late, and Mrs. Bennett laughed when they finally dragged themselves downstairs. "Wear ourselves out last night, did we?" she teased. Tina was horrified. "Mom, you're embarrassing Tina." She looked Tina over, wearing a nightgown she had just put on, her hair tangled, no makeup. "I'm a mess," Tina said. "You're a girl who hasn't gotten herself put together yet after a night of sin with my daughter," she said with a laugh, then hugged her. "You really are a lovely girl." "It wasn't a night of sin, Mom, it was sex." "Meredith!" Tina cried. "Now, you're the one embarrassing Tina." She turned back to Tina. "I imagine this must all be rather overwhelming for you, honey. I thought Meredith had a hard time with her choices, but you must have a great deal to sort out." "I don't think she wants to talk about it, Mom." The bell rang. It was Alyssa. "Morning, guys!" she said. She kissed both girls and sat at the table. "I miss anything?" "No, breakfast isn't quite ready, yet," Meredith said. Tina started to laugh, but then Alyssa said, "Good." "How was your date with Rick last night?" Meredith asked. Alyssa blushed. "He's actually very sweet. There is a definite public side of him, which you guys see, but there's also a private side of him. The private side is really nice." Mrs. Bennett served breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes. "I'd better go easy," Tina said. "Nah," Meredith replied. "Eat up. Make your tits grow faster." "Now that's enough of that!" Mrs. Bennett said above the protests of the other two girls. "You know," Meredith went on, "I think that any parent worried about a girl between the ages of ten and fourteen not eating should use that as encouragement." "Obesity is bad enough now," Alyssa said. # It was late. Meredith had fallen asleep. There was a bedroll added to the crowded bedroom so the three of them could share, and Tina insisted that Alyssa take the cot. "You're really sweet," Alyssa said. "So are you." She told her of the family battle, but by now she had absorbed much of what Meredith had told her the night before, and so it came out much differently. "I still feel shitty about it, but I realize now that it's their problem, not mine. Of course, it really helps having really good friends like you and Meredith." Alyssa gave her a sisterly hug. "You really like him, don't you?" Tina asked. Alyssa smiled and nodded. Tina was about to ask another question but stopped. "No," she said when Alyssa encouraged her to ask whatever was on her mind, "some things should just be left alone." But they were all so close, and Alyssa hoped they always would be. "I know you two made out last night," she said. When Tina looked stunned, she laughed and added, "I could read it on your faces this morning. Besides, I know how Meredith looks the morning after." Tina's jaw dropped. "Well, you've tried it both ways. Why not me?" "I really only tried it one way," Tina said. "Ken and I never got further than half a kiss." "But you wanted to. So did I. Maybe," she added with a mischievous grin, "you still do." Tina tried not to blush. "I'm not really sure. What about you?" Suddenly, a shadow fell across Alyssa's face. Tina felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. "It's a little different with me," Alyssa said at last. "I'm damaged goods." Tina didn't ask. She just reached out and touched Alyssa's cheek, and felt the long, rich hair spilling over her hand. Alyssa had been six the first time. Uncle Ron, her mother's brother, a single man in his forties at the time, was an infrequent visitor, but when he visited, he had always made a fuss over her, the only girl with two brothers and three other boy cousins. She could remember before that, being very little, four or five, and he had loved to sit her on his lap, bouncing her playfully up and down. She'd been five the first time she remembered coming down and feeling something hard. She didn't think about it at first, other than the fact that she didn't like it, but after a while she realized it happened all the time, and whenever she tried to pull away, he pulled her back. She was in first grade when her mother asked him to pick her up at school one day - she had to get the boys to baseball practice and Alyssa was just getting over a cold. "As soon as I got home, I started to go up to my room to change, but he picked me up and hugged me. Then he was holding me with one arm while his other hand went up my skirt..." Tina thought she might cry, but she didn't. "He stuck his fingers inside my panties...pushed one up inside me...told me how good it felt. Lucky for me, the phone rang - it was my mom, wanting to make sure he'd found me all right. I managed to stay away from him the rest of the day." There were other times, at family gatherings, when he'd find ways to be alone with her. Each time, he pushed a little deeper, hurting her a little more. "Always he'd end by saying, 'Remember, this is our little secret'." "You never told anyone?" "I've told two people - Meredith and you. Because I know you will both keep it a secret. You must promise never to tell anyone, not even to mention it to me, ever." "I promise." "When I was eight, they had a big party for Uncle Ron for his fiftieth birthday and I refused to go. Mom and Dad were trying to cajole me into going during dinner one night when I picked up my full glass of milk and hurled it across the dining room, soaking both my brothers and smashing it against the wall. They tried everything to get me to tell them what was the matter but I couldn't; it was our dirty little secret." Tina held her. "I'll never tell a soul. Not ever. Not ever."