Ms. Yates, Chapters 12, 13 And 14 free porn video

Ms. Yates A Novel Twelve "Honey, you'll be late!" Marjorie called. But it was Barbara who came into her room. "I'm not going to school today," Tina said. "I can't face them." The vote had left her stunned. But she'd been brave afterward, answering questions for reporters from Newsday, from the local town paper and from a local cable news station. "Come on, Sis," Barbara had said at last. "Let's get out of here." She hadn't cried. She felt too empty to cry. Barbara sat on the edge of her bed. Tina was adamant. "Don't try to talk me into it." Barbara shrugged. "Okay, but I just thought I'd let you know a couple of things. The most important is that the photo of you on the front page of Newsday is very flattering." Against her will, she raised her head to look. There she was, calm, focused, under the headline, "The Voice of Reason Goes Unheeded." "Well, that's something, anyway." "Mmmm. They also quoted you at length. Got all the best stuff. Oh, and an editorial highly critical of the school board." "That's nice." "She still doesn't get it," Barbara called out. "Don't get what?" Marjorie came into the room. "You lost the battle but are winning the war," Marjorie said. "The students will be united behind you going forward, the school board will be scrambling, and Ms. Barnes will support anything you want to do. You know your history, you know lots of fights have seemed lost at first, only to have those very setbacks be the basis for ultimate success." "One other thing, Sis. Those kids need to see you in school today. Wear something really pretty, make sure your hair and makeup look great, and flash your brightest smile. Be upbeat and positive, both because you should be and because they will need you to be, especially Meredith." Meredith. She had looked shell-shocked the night before. There had been no fight left in her at all. "I've already arranged with her mom to take you both to school this morning," Marjorie said. "So, chop chop!" # Meredith was standing in the driveway waiting when she came out wearing a short black flared skirt, tight magenta sweater, black pantyhose and black heels. "Holy shit! You are hot!" Meredith cried. Then she added, "Oh, sorry Mrs. Yates." "No apology necessary, Meredith. I think our Tina has quite outdone herself this morning." "Is that perfume?" Meredith asked as they got into the car. "Just a little," Tina said, smiling for the first time. "I may forget myself!" "You already have." Small groups of students were loitering in front of the school as she and Meredith got out of the car. "Be positive," Marjorie said before she pulled away. The first person Tina saw was Ruth Ann Page, who sneered but said nothing. "Morning, Ruth Ann," Tina said, with more good humor than she felt. She was pleased to see Ruth Ann taken slightly aback. A few others looked on in curiosity but said nothing. As they got near the door, some others called out to her. "Great job, Tina!" "Way to go!" "Don't take any shit from anybody!" She smiled and waved. "Wow!" she said to Meredith. "Mom and Barb were right." Deanna was waiting for her in homeroom. "I saw the clip on the news this morning," she said as she hugged her. "I'm so proud of you." "You do realize we lost," Tina said. Deanna laughed. "Who gives a shit what a bunch of crusty old assholes think? Barnes will let you do whatever you want, and my mom says half the school board will get voted out next spring." Tina laughed at that. More students were coming into the room. Josh Tyler, who had militantly stayed out of her way since their encounter the day she came out, turned to her and said, "Nice pic on the front page." "Thanks, Josh." Later in the day, Ms. Barnes confirmed that she would look the other way when the LGBT group distributed literature. "I'm so very proud of you, Tina, you have no idea." # "Can I talk to you?" "Sure, Gerrilynn," Tina said after glancing around to see that no one was within earshot. Jeremy smiled as she led him into the office and closed the door. "You were right. Steve came to me. It was last night, after we saw the clip on TV about your speech." He had asked, softly and calmly, if Jeremy was a member of the LGBT group. When Jeremy said he was, Steve asked why he felt he needed to belong. Jeremy had been terrified. "I'm on your side," Steve had said at last. "You have to believe that." "So, I told him," Jeremy said now. "I told him I wanted to be a girl, Gerrilynn, and that I liked getting dressed as a girl. Tina, it felt so good to say it!" "What'd he do?" Steve had sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the floor for a long time. Then he had said, "Okay. I guess you always have been kinda like a kid sister to me. Mom and Dad won't like it, but I'll totally back you up. We'll tell Mom first, so that Dad can't fuck with her mind." He didn't want to tell them. "Look, Gerrilynn, you're gonna hafta tell them. They're gonna know sooner or later, and the sooner you tell 'em, the sooner you can get to something real rather than all this sneaking around." He'd suspected something for years, but the clincher had been when he had come home on Saturday with his hair cut. "That didn't look like any guy's hairstyle I ever saw," he'd said. Jeremy was suddenly very touched. "He called me Gerrilynn," he said. Then he turned to her and asked, "Are any of our members transgendered guys?" "Two that I know of, both sophomores, one of whom seems to have a thing for me," she said with a giggle. "Keep me posted. Maybe we can have another girls' day out." "I'd like that!" But as he got to the door, he said, "I told him later that I had thought it over and, for the time being, I really didn't want to tell either of our parents. He agreed that we'd wait until I felt comfortable." Shortly after he left, she closed up the office and left school. In front of the school, she saw a dark blue Honda that looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place it. She had to pass it and as she got closer, saw the window was open. "Chris?" a familiar voice called. "Trevor? You're not supposed to be talking to me, are you?" The boy in the car gave a nervous laugh. "You're still my cousin, Chris. Can I give you a lift?" She got into the car. "I'm not your cousin Chris, I'm your cousin Tina." "Yeah, I can see that. Either way, I miss you." "Oh." They had been closer as kids than their two-year age difference would have suggested. "I miss playing chess," he said. "I miss talking to you at holiday dinners. And I think what my Dad did was totally wrong." "Thanks." "I was there last night. I tried to wave to you, but you were involved. I wanted to punch that snotty little..." "Trevor, I appreciate this, but I really don't want to do a recap of last night. That's taken up most of my day." He apologized. "As for what your dad did, that was a year and a half ago. Why am I just hearing about your outrage now?" "I argued with him that night. I was only seventeen at the time, so he told me to shut the fuck up - his words, not mine. He told me if I did not do exactly as he said, he'd throw me out, and he meant it. "That first Thanksgiving, I realized what a piece of shit I was being, but I didn't think there was anything I could do about it. Mom told me to stay cool, it would work itself out. This past Christmas, I realized nothing was working itself out. "When I saw the first story about the school board meeting, I remembered the piece you'd written on teen moms and I knew you'd be there. And when I heard you speak, heard you shut all those fat mouths, I knew I was a truly miserable piece of shit." He pulled away from the curb. He drove in silence to her house and pulled into the driveway. "You're not a piece of shit, Trevor. I'm sorry about what I said. Lately, I find I sometimes have trouble getting out of Crusade Mode." "Not hard to understand. Anyway, I plan on settling this tonight..." "No, please don't. I like the idea of having you back in my life and I want to be in yours. Let's leave it like that for now, and let's not fight a war about it - give everyone else a chance to heal." After a moment, he nodded. "I guess that's pretty mature," he said. "It's the hormones." She kissed him on the cheek, which made him smile, and started to get out of the car. "Tina?" She looked back. "You look really hot." "I'm your cousin, remember?" He laughed as he drove off. # "Paul is taking me out on Saturday," Deanna said. "Did you at least hesitate when he asked you?" "No." Tina laughed at that. "He's flown home to visit the past two weekends, and now he'll be home for spring break. Every time I see him, he's a little sweeter than he was the time before." "Just take it as it comes, I guess." "You think I'm making a mistake, don't you?" Tina gave her the warmest smile she could. "No, I don't." "Do you think it would be too weird if I asked him to take me to the prom?" # Friday morning, she was just coming out of the cafeteria when she saw Ms. Gunderson. "I found a home for the group," she said. "The Oak Manor Youth Association will let you have a meeting room for free once a month. More often than that, you'll have to arrange it." "Which would cost money, right?" "Probably. The important thing, though, is that they want to support you. We'll talk more after school." She hadn't taken more than ten steps when she ran into Rick Hayden. The Student Council would be having a dance in two weeks. "That's nice," she said, then saw him grinning. "What?" He pulled her aside. "It's a fundraiser for the LGBT group. Of course, we won't say that, but anything you need money for, we can then pay for it in the name of Student Council." She thanked him and kissed him on the cheek. "I can't take the credit, although I'm not giving the kiss back. It was actually the idea of one of the senior reps." "Who?" He gestured down the hall. Amanda Broderick was approaching. "I was just telling Tina about the dance," Rick said. Tina turned and hugged her. "No one tells us what kids can organize and what kids can't," Amanda said, holding her tightly. "You rock, girl." "Thanks. You realize that there may be a few of the transgendered kids who will want to go to the dance dressed." "I would hope everyone would be dressed. A nude dance would be a major problem." "No, I mean..." "I know what you mean, Tina. I just hope they're as pretty as you are." She was walking on air as she entered her homeroom class. Jeff was waiting for her. "I hafta talk to you," he said, and they went back out into the hall just as the first bell rang. "Jeff, can't this wait? We're going to be late." "No, it can't. Would you like to go to the junior prom with me?" Deanna passed and said, "First bell rang!" "You're not already going with someone else, are you?" he asked. "Um...no." "I've been thinking a lot about that day at the baseball game last summer." "Do you mean..." "I don't know what I mean. I just would really like to take you." She nodded, smiled and said, "Thank you." # He later asked her to the Student Council dance, too, but she hesitated. "It's a big night for our group," she said. "I won't have much time for dancing." "Great, because I'm not that great a dancer." The following Monday, when the dance was announced, it was as a fundraiser for "some of our students". Tina wondered if that was enough to catch people's interest, but the buzz in the halls soon told her that the inference had been loud and clear. At lunch, a senior named Ryan Cassidy, whom she had seen at the first group meeting and at the school board, approached her. "Is it true that the dance is for our group?" he asked. She told him it was. "Does that mean it's okay to go...you know..." "En femme?" "Yeah." She looked him up and down. He was fairly tall, a little under six feet, slim. His facial features were sharp and angular with a chin that jutted out somewhat and his eyes were narrow, and his hair was long and loose. "Do you think you can pass?" He frowned. "Don't think so." "What's your femme name?" "Cathy." "That's very sweet. Cathy, the only reason I asked is because the answer depends on what you hope to gain from it. No one will be turned away because they are cross-dressed, and I expect several kids will be. But if you look less like a girl and more like a boy wearing a dress, it may be a more negative experience than positive one." He stared at the floor. "Have you ever been out en femme before?" she asked. "A couple of times, when I was fifteen, but not in public. I'd dress up when my parents went out and slip out and walk around the block. It was winter and it was so cool to feel the cold air on my legs." She smiled and nodded. "So this would really be your first time out in public. How are you with makeup and doing your hair?" "Great with hair - I have a blow-dryer and a curling iron. So-so with makeup. I mean, nothing like you." "I went to a makeover class, and my girlfriend Alyssa is brilliant with cosmetics. You can learn, too." He thought about it. "I think I'm gonna do it," he said at last. "I just need to figure out how to sneak out of the house, first." Over the rest of the week, six other students - four boys and two girls - came to her with similar questions. She noticed that the boys were much more self-conscious about it than the girls, but all said they would find a way. The day of the dance, Steve Hall approached her. "I have a huge favor to ask," he said. "Jeremy is too shy. He really wants to go to the dance dressed, but there is no way he can do that and leave from our house. Is there any way he could get ready at your house and go with you?" "Normally that would be fine, but I have a date for the dance." "Does he...or she...have a ride?" She laughed at that. "You know, Steve, I'm getting to like you a lot. No, I don't think he does." "I'd be glad to drive you both there. Can't make any promises about getting home." She promised to ask Jeff, and when she did he was agreeable. She called Marjorie to ask if it was all right, and she agreed. "Be at my house at seven," she told Steve. # They were early. Barbara and Marjorie kept Steve company while Tina finished her own makeup and helped Gerrilynn as well. "We're going to make your makeup a little more dramatic than we did the day we went shopping," she said. "It's a dance, we want you to look sexy. We'll use eyeliner and more eye shadow." She took her time. Gerrilynn asked lots of questions and Tina answered them all. "Good girl," she said. "You need to learn this yourself." The dress was cobalt blue, with a tight bodice and short layered skirt that came to six inches above the knee. She also had black patent leather sandals with a three inch heel. "I didn't think I'd be able to dance in anything higher." "Even these may be a bit of a struggle if you're not used to heels." She made sure the wig was securely in place, did a final brush of the makeup and a final touch of lip gloss and then stood back. "Oh, my," she sighed. Gerrilynn turned to the full length mirror. "I...I look good." "You look sensational. You look beautiful." Gerrilynn started to sniffle. "No!! You can't cry! No crying or you'll ruin everything!" They both started giggling. Tina touched up her makeup and put on her own dress, a short black dress with spaghetti straps and matching heels. She asked Gerrilynn if Steve had ever seen her dressed. "No." "He's in for a shock." Tina went down the stairs first, in case Gerrilynn couldn't manage in her high heels, but everything was fine. Steve stared, mouth agape. "Didn't realize you had such a pretty sister, did you?" Marjorie said as the doorbell rang. "That'll be Jeff," she added, going for the door. "That's the real you," Steve said. After a moment's discomfort, he gave her a hug. Jeff came in and shook hands with Steve, then received a peck on the cheek from Tina. "You better keep an eye on your sister," he said to Steve. "She's gonna attract a lot of attention tonight." "Definitely," Tina added. "Yeah, well, I'm sure she doesn't want me cramping her style. Look, I have the seven-seater tonight, so I can give everyone a ride home." Gerrilynn looked hesitant. "Don't worry, Sis, if you meet someone, I can drive them home, too. And I promise not to peek in the rearview." "Really?" "No, of course not!" In the car, Jeff and Tina sat in the back while Gerrilynn sat in the front. Every time Steve stopped at a light, he couldn't help looking over at her. "I really just can't believe how great you look," he said. "This is the real you." She preened all the way to the dance. Once there, Tina kept an eye out for all her chicks, as Jeff called them. Cathy was there looking better than she had expected, and was actually dancing. Two other T-girls were there together, and danced mostly with each other. After she and Jeff had danced together, they were taking a short breather. Tina saw one of the sophomores she had mentioned to Gerrilynn, Sam Hollins, and she waved. Sam came over. She watched as he approached. Even in school, most traces of girlhood in Sam were downplayed. Tonight they were invisible. The already short hair was slicked back, a spandex tank top hid any trace of breasts, and the black dress shirt, open at the collar, black trousers and black loafers looked both stylish and masculine. Tina found herself wishing Sam was a little older. "Hi, Tina." The voice sounded huskier than usual. "Hi, Sam. You look fabulous. You even sound sexy." "My doctor finally agreed to let me start on hormones. But tonight it's probably just me forcing it." "Don't hurt yourself," she said with a giggle. Sam laughed, then turned serious as something caught his attention. "Hey! Isn't that Jeremy Hall?" "Gerrilynn," she corrected. "She's beautiful! I can't believe she doesn't go full time." "I think she'd like to. But I'm glad she's with us tonight. Even her brother was charmed." Sam stared for a few moments. "Is she...with anyone?" "No, we just got here a little while ago. She's danced with a few guys." "She just looks so sweet." "Your kind of girl?" Tina asked. Sam turned. "Yes, actually." "Then you should make your move, the sooner the better." "But am I her kind of guy?" "Only one way to find out." She watched as Sam approached and asked Gerrilynn to dance, and as Gerrilynn flashed a brilliant smile and accepted, just as the music turned decidedly slower. Gerrilynn immediately slipped her arms around Sam's neck and settled her head on his shoulder as they eased into a very slow dance. "May I have the pleasure?" Jeff asked, and Tina did the same. Later in the evening, she saw that Sam and Gerrilynn were still together, and that Steve had hooked up with Alyssa. Meredith had reconnected with Karen Coogan, and they left before the dance ended. The last song was a slow dance, Celine Dion singing "My Heart Will Go On." Just before it ended, Jeff loosened his embrace of Tina, and when she looked up at him, he kissed her, holding it until after the song ended and the lights came on. When they did, many couples were similarly engaged, and even the lights didn't deter them. Sam and Gerrilynn broke away almost immediately, both blushing but smiling. Steve let Alyssa go only with reluctance. Here and there, some boys were kissing boys and girls kissing girls. "Glad the school board can't see this," she said. "I dunno," Jeff said. "It's actually nice, kind of innocent." "They'd make it something filthy," she said. Then she felt his arm slip around her waist and tighten its grip. "No wars tonight," he chided her. As soon as they were in the car, Sam and Gerrilynn drifted into each other's arms, sitting in the rearmost seat. Steve paused to kiss Alyssa a few times, then turned toward the back and cleared his throat loudly. When that didn't get the attention of the couple in the rearmost seat he did it again, and still nothing. "Okay, I hate to do this, but Sam, can you please stop kissing my sister for a minute while I work out the logistics." "Sorry," Sam mumbled. "No, you're not," Steve said. "I admit, she is pretty juicy. But she can't go home like that. I'm just not sure how to work this." "Why don't you all come back to my house?" Tina suggested. "That will give everyone a chance to say goodnight properly after we socialize a little. Steve, then you can take Sam and Jeff home while Alyssa and I tend to Gerrilynn. You come back and get Alyssa and take her home." "Actually," Jeff said, "I can walk home. I'd kind of like to hang at Tina's for a while." She turned and kissed him on the cheek, but he then took her in his arms for a more serious kiss. "Well, that's settled, then," Steve said, drily, and turned off the interior light. Gerrilynn immediately jumped back into Sam's arms. Marjorie put a pot of coffee on when they arrived, and smiled as all three couples shared some discreet expressions of affection. Finally, Sam and Gerrilynn excused themselves and went inside to say a serious good night. When she finally came back in to the dining room, blushing, Steve said he would be back and left to drive Sam home. "Time for the coach to change back to a pumpkin," Tina said after they'd gone. "Jeff, you'll excuse us?" He nodded. The three girls went up to Tina's room and closed the door, and Gerrilynn collapsed on Tina's bed. "He really likes me!" she gasped. "Yes, I noticed that, too," Alyssa said. "No, but I mean, like, really! Totally! The me that's really me! And he was so sweet! Kinda shy, and very proper, a real gentleman. And I didn't ever worry about what he might think of me." "It was kind of obvious what he thought of you," Tina said. "He wants to see me again. He said he knows it's harder for me than for him, and I don't even have to be dressed if I can't manage it. He said my sweetness shines through. He really said that!" "Awwwww," they both sighed. "Am I in love? I think I'm in love!" "Right now," Alyssa said, more serious, "you're in love with the idea of being in love. But I must say that he seems really nice, really sweet, and a really good match for you." "Come on," Tina said. "We have work to do." The heels and dress came off first, then the wig. She slipped into the bathroom and washed all the makeup off. When she came back in, her face was red from scrubbing. The training bra, pantyhose and panties came off slowly, reluctantly, and the briefs and tee shirt went on quickly, as if to get it over with. "Don't worry," Alyssa said as she put the wig away and Tina hung up the dress, which would be left in her closet. "I got some good pics on my cell. I'll upload them and save them." Jeremy refused to look in the mirror. "Did I get all the makeup?" he asked. They both looked closely. "Yep," Tina said. "Not a trace." "Or of Gerrilynn, either," he said, suddenly melancholy. "You're wrong. You are always Gerrilynn, just dressed as Jeremy sometimes. Gerrilynn is your true self. And I'm glad to have you as one of my girlfriends." They hugged, and then Alyssa hugged him. Steve was already back. "I'm gonna drop you off at home, Squirt, then I'll take Alyssa home." They left, and Tina walked Jeff out shortly after, closing the door behind her. He immediately took her in his arms. "I thought kissing me made you uncomfortable," she said. "I guess I'm getting used to it." Thirteen The next day, Alyssa sent Tina the pictures from the dance. Tina noticed that she had also sent them to Steve and Jeremy. "I'd have included Sam but I don't have his e-mail address," she said. Tina wrote back with the address, adding, "I'm sure Gerrilynn already took care of it." On Monday, news from the weekend was flying all over the school. Steve asked Alyssa to the senior prom and she asked him to the junior prom. Meredith and Karen did the same and Meredith told Tina, "We'd better not catch any shit from anybody." "Did you see what went on at the dance?" Tina asked. "I saw you suckin' the lips off of Jeff. Has that morphed into something new?" "We're just old friends, like you and me." Meredith reminded her that they had once had a more-than-friendly encounter of their own. "That was just you feeling sorry for me," Tina said. "Nothing like that ever happened again." "First of all, I wanted you to see what was possible, and I wanted you to be comfortable with who you really are. You know how I am, how I feel about certain things. But I always have and always will love you, and if you didn't have a certain thing, I would be six kinds of all over you." Tina looked at her eyes, which were suddenly filled with melancholy. "You don't know how I struggled with this," Meredith said. "I did that because I had to see if I could get past it. I wish I could. I tried. I can't." "I'm sorry, Meri. Really." "It's okay. I still love you. It's penises I can't stand. That's why I'm what I am." She saw Jeremy later in the day, grinning from ear to ear. "Let me guess," she said. "You saw Sam, and the magic is still there." He nodded. "Can I use your place to dress for a date sometimes? I'm sorry, I know it's a real imposition. But I really want to be dressed when I go out with him if I can manage it." "Okay. We'll take it date by date, okay?" They hugged. "Oh, and I think Steve really likes Alyssa. A lot, I mean. I tried to talk to him about it but he got all red. It was so cute." Tina smiled a little more broadly than she felt. "I think he really likes having a sister," she said. # Tina descended the stairs on prom night, careful not to catch the hem of her gown on her heel. Jeff had already arrived and was standing at the bottom of the stairs, nattily turned out in his rented tux. The skirt of the pink chiffon, one-shoulder high-low gown swished against her legs, and she could still detect the scent from the perfume she'd borrowed from her mother. She had also borrowed Barbara's pearl choker and matching earrings. Jeff's gaze told her everything she needed to know about how she looked. The gown showed off her breasts, now a firm C-cup, as verified by Dr. Fleming the week before. She would remember this entrance the rest of her life. Jeff had not been able to find anyone else to drive, so he had split the cost of renting a limousine with Bruno. They had picked him up before coming for Tina. Marjorie had soft drinks ready, a sort of pre-prom cocktail party and a chance to take some snapshots. Bruno's date, Emily Stone, was a quiet girl who was ill at ease with Tina, but she smiled and said very little, clinging to Bruno. Tina's big concern was that Bruno would slip and call her Chris, but he didn't. "You look really beautiful, Tina," Emily said as they were getting ready to leave. It wasn't the first time that Tina had heard surprise in someone's voice as they complimented her, so she replied, "Not as gorgeous as you do, Em. I love your hair like that." "I can never figure out," Jeff whispered to her as they went to get into the limo, "whether you're going to be a bomb-thrower or a diplomat." "I wasn't aware I had to choose," she replied. At the prom, Tina found herself making the biggest fuss over Deanna, who had finally lost all the weight she'd gained when she'd been pregnant with Marie. Bruno made the most egregious faux pas when he made a crack about Paul making an honest woman of her. "Actually," Paul replied before anyone could react, "she was always honest. I was the louse, and I'm grateful for the chance to make it up to her." Bruno kept to himself after that. After the prom, they went for a drive to the beach, a run of half an hour each way. On the way out, Tina wasn't surprised to feel Jeff pulling her closer, and she was pleased when he began to kiss her. She stroked the back of his neck and soon he was gently caressing her breasts, sending waves of mounting pleasure through her. Jeff's kisses moved to her neck, but she gently urged him lower. By now she could also hear Emily's sighs of pleasure nearby. But she lost track when Jeff began kissing his way down from her neck to the top of her gown. "We're at the beach, kids," the driver called. No one answered. "Well, I'll find a place to park for a while." Tina guided Jeff's head a little lower, and be began teasing her erect nipples through the soft fabric of the gown and lace bra underneath. His hand rested on her knee and slowly began to caress her thigh. The combination was the sweetest thing she'd ever known with any boy. Bruno and Emily were both breathing heavily, and her sighs had turned to soft moans. It made for lovely background music. Jeff pulled the top of her gown down, and the bra went with it. He began kissing her breast, nuzzling it. Soon, he had taken her rock hard nipple into his mouth, and her moans were competing with Emily's. She was vaguely aware that the driver had gotten out of the limo. Jeff's hand continued to caress her thigh. At the same time, he sucked hard on her nipple, and she writhed in pleasure. He took her hand and placed it against the bulge in his trousers. It was rock hard and she could feel his heat. She gasped and pulled away. He released her hand. "Did I hurt you?" he asked. "No." She quickly pulled her bra and gown back into place, and she opened the door and got out. As she went, she caught a glimpse of the couple in the other seat. The top of Emily's gown was down and the hem was up around her waist; her legs were spread apart and Tina was glad she was getting out. She walked along the shoulder of the roadway a short distance. There was a path that led down to the beach itself. She turned and followed it. "Tina, wait." She kept going. There was a strong breeze, and it felt chilly against her bare skin. She felt the cold clearing her head, and she gulped in the cool air gratefully. "Tina!" He ran to catch up. "Please talk to me." She stopped. "I'm sorry," he said. I thought it was what you wanted." "No." "But you seemed to be enjoying it. And I was enjoying it." "I was. I did." "So, what went wrong?" "I guess it was just too much too quickly." She turned to face him. "It's my fault. I should have let you know. I'm sorry." He grinned with relief. "No problem. Kinda hard to think straight with everything else going on in that car." She smiled at that. He turned serious. "You okay?" he asked at last. "Yeah. Thanks." They walked back to the car. As they got closer, the driver grinned at them. "I'll be glad to drive you back, but I wouldn't get in right now." Tina could see Emily's knee against a window, moving rhythmically. "Oh, Emily, you didn't!" she said, softly. # She didn't see Jeff in school much the following week, which was unusual. But then she was working hard to get the last issue of the paper for the school year out. Lyle and Brad were doing more of the work, with Amanda and Shawna providing less guidance. "Your plan worked well," Amanda said to her one night as they wrapped up. "If Jeremy works out next year, you'll have a solid staff." "Maybe we'll be calling her Gerrilynn full time by then." "By the way, how was the prom?" She told her how nice it was, how the guys had rented a limo. "Oh, was that the wild ride? That's all over the school. I didn't think you'd be a part of that." "What wild ride?" Amanda told her that a story was going around school about two junior guys who rented a limo for the prom and ended up driving to the beach afterward and screwing their dates like crazy. Tina grew angry and quiet. "It's just what's going around," Amanda said. "Yeah, well, there is some truth to it. There were four of us in the limo, and we did go to the beach. Jeff and I got out, and the other couple stayed behind and did it. But how would a story like that get out?" "I hate to say it, but it's always one of the guys." That night, she went over to Jeff's house and confronted him. "I only found out about it today," he said. "Bruno's been telling anyone who'll listen that he had Emily the night of the prom. He hasn't been saying anything about us, but he's made it sound like they weren't the only couple doing it." "Even though they were." Jeff didn't answer. "Well?" she pressed. "We were going at it hot and heavy for a while," he said. "So, what? Bruno doesn't have the right to paint Emily like a slut, and he certainly doesn't have the right to make it sound like everyone in the car was down to his standards." "Yeah. Okay, fine." "What?" she asked. "Why did you get out of the car? I didn't rush anything." "I didn't want things to go any further." "You mean you didn't want to touch me...down there." She could feel herself getting upset. "And why didn't you touch me...down there?" she asked. He stared at her but couldn't answer. "Jeff, you have been a wonderfully loyal friend throughout everything. And you made me feel so incredible that night that I just thought I would melt. I even spread my legs in invitation, and that would have been the next natural step but you didn't take it." He was staring at the ground. "Jeff? Was there a reason you didn't want to touch me there?" "I dunno. I guess I wasn't ready for that. I'm sorry, Tina, that sounds awful, but..." "No. It's honest. And the truth is that I wasn't ready for what you wanted, either." He nodded but didn't say anything else. "I think we need to go back to being just good friends," she said. "I love you," he said. "And I love you, too; I always have. It's one of the things that made me realize I should have been a girl. But neither of us is ready to make physical love to the other, so let's not force it." He considered that. "I don't want to hurt you," he said at last. "You're not. I'm the one who hurt you, although I didn't mean to. I let myself get carried away without thinking about where it would all lead, and I'm sorry." He pulled her close and hugged her. "I'd better walk you home," he said. They talked about school until they were walking up the Yates driveway and saw someone standing in the shadows. "Wait a second," Jeff said, holding her back. The figure moved. "Tina?" "Steve?" She invited him in, and Jeff said he would see her at school. "My dad caught Gerrilynn," he said without preamble. "She dressed at home?! She promised she wouldn't." Steve shook his head. "No, but it turns out he hacked into our e-mail accounts and checks up on us regularly - mine, Gerrilynn's, even my mother's. And he found the pics that Alyssa had sent us. He printed them out and wanted to know why we both had the same set of pictures in our e-mails." "He didn't recognize her?" "Not at first. But then she got all flustered looking at them, and he started staring at her in the picture, the one where she looked so happy, and he suddenly realized it was her." "Oh, God!" "This was last night. He hit her a couple of times, until I jumped in between them. She was hysterical, as was my mom." Tina remembered that she hadn't seen her in school. "Yeah, he kept her home. Spent the whole day researching 'cures' on the internet." "Cures?" Marjorie asked. "Cures for what?" "Being transgendered. There's a TV shrink who talks all the time about how gays and crossdressers can be 'cured', and apparently he's found someone here on the island who does that kind of thing. They took her for an appointment tonight, after he ransacked all her hiding places and burned all her clothes." "Burned!" Tina gasped. "He went totally nuts. At one point I went to hug her, you know, to console her, and he pulled me away and told me that we were 'going to make a man out of him if it kills him'. I told my mom she should fight this, but all she did was sit there and cry." # "It's called 'reparative therapy'," Dr. Fleming said. "It's not recognized by the medical and psychiatric community, which, as you know, recommends WPATH for gender issues. It's actually very highly regarded in certain fundamentalist religious circles." She went on to explain that it involved the use of aversive therapies such as electric shock and nausea-inducing drugs in conjunction with previously pleasing images to create a negative psychological reaction to them. "That's horrible!" Tina gasped. "It's not therapy. It's punishment!" Dr. Fleming smiled sadly and nodded. "Isn't there something we can do?" Tina pleaded. "Gerrilynn will never survive such a thing." "That's the point, unfortunately." "I don't mean that! Jeremy won't, either! Back when I first met him, he was already thinking about suicide!" Dr. Fleming got quiet. "Tell me," Tina pressed. "Supporters of reparative therapy claim a very high success rate. But their released studies only follow patients for a short time after treatment concludes. We suspect that there is a severe backlash effect." The news wasn't all bad. If Steve or anyone else could provide proof to the school that Gerrilynn was being forced to undergo reparative therapy, the school could then file a complaint for child abuse with the authorities. Tina relayed this information to Steve, who said he would see what he could obtain. Fourteen The first meeting of the LGBT group at the Youth Association went well, although Tina was disappointed at the turnout - only thirty students. Ms. Gunderson blamed the proximity to the end of the school year, as final exams were only two weeks away. "By the way," she said, "what are you doing for the summer?" Tina hadn't really thought about it. "How would you like to work at a summer camp? The YM-YWHA runs a day camp for children with developmental disabilities, and they are always looking for bright teens to work as counselors-in-training. You'd be perfect." Tina agreed it was interesting and said she would think about it. For the moment, she had more immediate concerns. Sam was there, and was severely depressed. "Hey," Tina said. "It's not the first time that unfeeling parents have broken up a promising romance." "You know that's not the issue. She's in real danger." "Everyone is going to keep a close eye on her, and engage her when and if we can. Ms. Gunderson says if we can get proof, the authorities can be called in for child abuse." "Her father is too cagey to let that happen. You watch. He'll do something to prevent it." The situation with Gerrilynn hung over the meeting like a cloud, although a number of other issues were discussed. Everyone agreed that the dance had been a success and hoped that there would be another the following school year. Elections were held, with Meredith, Tina and Alyssa all being re-elected while Sam was elected to the fourth position. Tina was getting ready to leave after the meeting ended when Ms. Gunderson called her over. With her was a short, heavy woman in her thirties. "Tina, I'd like you to meet Robyn Cohen. She's a social worker with the YM-YWHA who runs all their programs for kids with disabilities. Robyn, this is the young lady I was telling you about." Robyn was already familiar with Tina, having seen her at the school board meeting and read her piece on teen mothers. "I'm in awe," she said. She also asked if Tina was interested in the job as a counselor-in-training for the summer. "How old are the children?" Tina asked. "The camp ranges in age from eight to twenty, but you would be working with the youngest children, mostly five and six year olds. Since it?s a camp, not a school, the children have a variety of issues, including Down Syndrome, Intellectual Developmental Disabilities ? what used to be called mental retardation, but of course we don?t use that term anymore ? cerebral palsy and autism.? Tina hesitated. ?Is there swimming at the camp?? she asked. ?Of course. Why?? Before Tina could answer, Robyn smiled and said, ?I?m sorry, that was stupid of me. You?re worried about where you would change. That?s easy, I?ll either have you doing something else when your group is in the pool, or we?ll find a private place for you to change.? ?I don?t want to be a problem.? Robyn chuckled and said, ?Believe me, we?ll have far more complicated problems than anything you would pose. Amelia has told me so much about you. I have no doubt you will be a major success.? It was agreed. Camp would start July first, with an orientation in the evening the week before. # Summer camp ended two weeks before school started, and Tina was glad to be able to dial things down for a while. Trips to the beach with Meredith and Alyssa were a delight, with an occasional shopping spree thrown in. ?Now that you?re a rich bitch,? Meredith said, prompting her to stick out her tongue. They had just returned home from the beach one afternoon when she saw a familiar face sitting in a car down the block from her house. ?Staking me out, now?? she asked Trevor after the girls had left. ?Not sure how your mom would feel about me.? She explained that she had already told Marjorie about them re-establishing contact and that she had been very pleased. ?What?s up?? she asked more softly, seeing him pensive. She got into the car so they could talk. Tina was the youngest of her generation of cousins in her family, the baby of the group. Trevor was the youngest of three sons of Dan Scott, Marjorie?s brother. The other two, Joseph, who was 27, and Thomas, who was 30, were both married. Marjorie?s other brother, Randall, had two sons, Vic who was 31, and Cole, 33, both also married. ?They?ve been planning a cousins? dinner out close to Labor Day, with all the married cousins bringing their spouses and the unmarried ones bringing dates if they choose. I wondered if you and Barbara would be interested.? ?Would we even be welcome?? When Trevor had first mentioned it, Joe and Tom had both scoffed at the idea, while Vic and Cole had been quiet about it. Cole?s wife, Teri, had spoken up and said it was about time that the cousins ended this nonsense, even if their parents didn?t. Joe?s wife, Stephanie, had agreed, a surprise since Stephanie was always the most quiet of all of what Marjorie had called ?the Scott girls?. ?So,? she said, ?it?s not unanimous.? ?What ever is? And since when do you care?? ?I?ve been turned away by my own family, Trevor. My mother and sister have been turned away because of me. How do you think that makes me feel?? ?I know. That?s why I thought this would be a nice idea. That was all my father and Uncle Randall.? ?The boys don?t have minds of their own?? He pointed out that a lot of people had been changing their minds about a lot of things in recent years, and it wasn?t always easy and it wasn?t always neat and clean. ?I just think if you give them a chance, they?ll surprise you almost as much as you?ll surprise them.? She looked at him quizzically and he chuckled. ?You have no idea how much you?ve grown since this happened. Makes the growth in those,? he added, nodding toward her bust, accented by the bikini top, ?look like nothing.? She was still undecided. ?Please say you?ll come. Get Barbara to come. We need you both back in the family.? ?Let me think about it, okay?? He nodded, then, to her surprise, pulled her close and kissed her on the cheek. Marjorie was pleasantly surprised when Tina brought it up at dinner. Barbara flatly refused to consider it. ?What, they say it?s okay to come back in the pool, so we jump? And besides, how long have you and Trevor been back to best friends?? She explained how he had been at the school board meeting all those months ago and had reached out to her right afterward. ?We?ve been in contact ever since, mostly by texting and e-mails. Inviting us to the dinner was his idea.? ?And not universally embraced, from what I can see.? ?What ever is?? Tina asked, smiling to herself. They cleared the dinner dishes away, and as they worked around the kitchen, Barbara asked Marjorie what she thought. ?I don?t have an opinion,? she said. ?This is for you girls to decide.? ?But surely you have some feeling about it. After all, you?re affected, too.? ?Perhaps. But I would never ask either of you to either do or not do something because it might have an impact on me. You each have to do what you think is right, and I?m with you both all the way, whatever you decide.? Barbara turned to Tina. ?You want to go, don?t you?? she asked. ?Yes, I do. But that doesn?t mean you have to.? ?No way I?m letting you go into that snake pit alone, Sis. Yeah, I?ll go.? ?I?m not sure that?s the best outlook, dear,? Marjorie said. ?Best I can manage until I see proof to the contrary. Don?t worry, Mom, I won?t stab anyone without good cause.? # It was a restaurant right on the water. Tina decided on a print dress and espadrilles, her hair tied back loosely with yellow ribbon. ?We?re meeting them in the bar?? Barbara asked. ?That should be a sight. Did Trevor decide to bring a date?? ?Yes, a girl named Monica he?s been dating for almost a year.? ?So, you and I are the only ones unescorted.? ?I told you to bring someone.? ?Listen, Sis, if this goes down as badly as I think it could, there is no way I would ever want any of my boyfriends to see it.? Tina stared. ?You mean, to see me?? she asked. ?After all, it?s funny that you never have any guys over to the house.? Barbara looked hurt. ?I?ve been in your corner every step of the way, Sis. I don?t bring guys to the house much because Mom will think it?s serious, and I haven?t found the right guy, yet. It has nothing to do with you.? ?I?m sorry. I guess I?m more nervous than I thought.? ?That?s okay.? She reached over and patted Tina on the knee. As they pulled into the parking lot, they saw Trevor waiting outside the restaurant. A very petite girl in a short skirt and very high heeled sandals was with him. ?Uh oh,? Barbara said. ?I sense a change of heart.? Trevor greeted them warmly, giving Tina a hug, and introduced them to Monica. ?Everyone is at the outdoor bar in the back,? Trevor said. ?I figured just the two of you walking into all that might be a bit overwhelming, so I thought if Monica and I came in with you it would make it a bit easier.? ?He?s so sweet!? Monica said. Barbara looked a little taken aback. ?Yes, I guess he is. Thanks, Trevor.? They passed through the main entrance of the restaurant, through the main dining room, then out on to a large deck overlooking the water. To one side was a bar, and Tina could see her cousins and their wives clustered together. Tom saw her first, and he said something and all conversation stopped. ?Holy shit,? she heard Cole mutter before Teri delivered a well placed elbow to the ribs. ?Well,? Barbara said, ?I?m thrilled to see you, too, Cole.? ?Everybody,? Trevor said, as if nothing else had occurred, ?you all remember Barbara, and this is Tina.? There were muttered greetings all around until Teri came forward and gave her a hug. Stephanie followed. ?You look fantastic!? Stephanie said. Joe, whom Stephanie had dragged over with her, added, ?Yeah, I gotta admit, you really do look good.? ?Does this mean you?re into guys, now?? Vic asked, and all conversation stopped. Tina brushed her hair away from her face. ?Do you cheat on Pam?? she asked. Everyone froze. Tina sighed, already frustrated. ?I?m sorry, Vic, but that was really kind of jarring, and also not something I talk about a lot. Maybe this wasn?t such a good idea.? ?Oh, no,? Pam said with a laugh. ?You put him in his place and well done, honey. I hear you don?t take any shit from anyone, so please don?t start with this crew.? There were murmurs of agreement. ?Let me get you two something to drink,? Joe said. ?Come on, it?ll be fine.? Barbara glanced over at Tina, who nodded, and said, ?Okay. Make mine a white wine.? ?Now, you?re talkin?. Tina, how about you?? ?I?ll have some iced tea.? As Joe went off to the bar, Teri and Stephanie drew them into conversation. ?How did you decide on Tina as a name?? Teri asked. ?From Christina,? Cole said. ?Right?? ?Actually, I didn?t want any connection with Christopher at all, so I changed my name to TinaMarie.? ?Oh, that?s so pretty!? Stephanie said. ?What?s wrong with Christopher?? Cole asked. ?That was our grandfather?s name. You were the only member of the family to be named for him, and most of us would have considered it an honor.? Barbara started to say something, but Tina put a hand on her arm. ?Well, Cole,? Tina said brightly, ?you have my permission to take it for yourself.? ?Good for you!? Teri said. Then turning to her husband, she added, ?I wouldn?t cross swords with her, babe. She?s tough.? The laughter was uneasy and was broken by Joe arriving with the drinks. Barbara took a sip of her wine, and Tina nervously gulped her iced tea. It burned in her throat and tasted awful. She coughed and then gasped, ?What is that?!? Stephanie picked it up and sniffed it, then started giggling. ?Congrats, Ace,? she said to Joe. ?You got your underage cousin a Long Island Iced Tea.? Now, they were all laughing, even Barbara. ?That?s okay,? Stephanie said, ?he pulled the same thing on me on our first date. I had it anyway, which probably explains a lot.? ?Go ahead,? Tom said, grinning. ?We won?t tell.? ?No, thanks. I think that?s way over my recommended octane rating. Joe, you think you can get me a Pepsi?? As he rushed off, Tina could see Teri engaged in agitated conference with her husband. He approached her looking very sheepish. ?Can I talk to you for a second?? he asked, and when she nodded, he led her to a secluded part of the deck. ?I?m sorry I came on so strong,? he said. ?I won?t lie. What you did ? are doing ? makes me uncomfortable as hell. I mean, we come with the plumbing already in place, and it?s for a reason. Who are we to mess with that?? She sighed. ?All I can tell you is that I?ve gotten to know a lot of people who look like they should be one kind of person but don?t feel that way and can?t live that way. They get all kinds of pressure to try to live the way others think they?re supposed to want to live, but that just leads to incredible pain. ?I?m a girl, Cole, deep down inside, where I live, where I think, in my soul. I?ve always been a girl and I always will be. I?m often confused, always uncertain, and, when I?m honest, scared shitless, but if I had to go back to being a boy, I would kill myself.? He started to protest, but held up her hand. ?I would.? He stared at her, then took a quick gulp of his beer. ?I?m sorry you?re uncomfortable,? she went on. ?I hope someday you won?t be. But I can?t allow other people?s images of what I?m supposed to be overrule what I know in my heart I am, and what I am is a girl.? They walked back to the group. At first, she was sure the exchange had gone unseen. But then she saw Teri glaring at her husband. ?Our table is ready,? she said with an edge to her voice. When they sat down, Barbara was on one side but Teri was on the other. ?You sure you don?t want something a little stronger?? Teri asked her. ?I?m sure. I try never to lose control. Could make things difficult.? Over dinner, she fell into conversation with Teri, who had taught school before having two children, and who was fascinated by Tina?s summer camp experience. Tina found herself talking at length about Brandon, a five year old boy with autism who had come to camp unable to speak. One day, she had been getting him ready to go home. She had packed everything in his backpack and they had called his bus number. ?There?s your bus, Brandon,? she had said. ??Bye.? ?Bye, Ti.? ?He had already started to walk away,? she said to Teri. ?And I realized he had talked to me. I ran after him, knelt down in front of him and said, ?Who am I, Brandon?? and he said, ?Ti.?? ?Oh, my God!? Teri gasped. Tina realized she was starting to cry. ?You reached him, Tina! You really reached him!? That was what Robyn had said, and she had been just as emotional about it. ?So,? Tina said now, ?I?m thinking I might want to teach these kids, work with them. I?m still undecided between that and social work, because I see so many kids my age who are hurting. But these little ones have nobody, and many of them, even their parents need help.? ?Or writing, because you?re so good at it and could be such an effective advocate,? Barbara said. ?Yeah, that too.? Teri reached out and touched her hand. ?You?re amazing. Totally amazing!? She looked across the table and caught her husband?s eye and called, ?Do you know how amazing your little cousin is?? ?Yeah,? he said, starting a fresh bottle of beer. Teri frowned momentarily. ?I hope you?re driving,? said Trevor, who was sitting across from her. ?I am now,? she replied. Then the frown was banished and she turned back to the conversation. ?What about you, Barbara? I know I?ve been monopolizing your sister all night, but what about you? You must have some big plans.? She did. After an indifferent first year of college, she had decided to apply herself and her grades had gotten consistently better. She turned to Tina and grinned. ?So, I?ve just decided ? I?m going to law school.? ?Law?? Vic blurted. ?You?? ?That?s right, Vic. Thanks to Tina, I?ve learned a lot recently that I think sucks and that I want to change, not only about kids like Tina, but the kids she worked with over the summer and their families. So,? she said, turning to face her sister, ?I?m going to be a lawyer.? Tina hugged her. ?You?ll be so good!? she whispered. ?Any other announcements?? Cole asked. ?Yeah,? Trevor said, glancing at Monica to make sure it was all right. She smiled and nodded eagerly. ?As soon as we graduate, Monica and I are getting married.? ?I?m shocked!? Teri said, laughing. Tina leaned over to give Monica a kiss, but they seemed to miss and it wound up an air kiss. Monica immediately turned away to talk to someone else. # Driving home, Barbara asked her how she thought it had gone. She was most interested in what Cole had said. ?I think it?s going to take time for him to get comfortable with it,? Tina replied. Then she grinned and added, ?Maybe Teri will work on him. She?s such a doll! Monica seems very sweet, too.? Barbara fell silent. ?What?? Tina asked. ?I?d watch out for Monica. I don?t trust her for a second. Vic was ogling her all night and she looked like she was enjoying it. A couple of times, I was pretty sure she was encouraging it.? ?Maybe it was just harmless flirting.? ?One does not flirt with one?s future brother-in-law. And, did you notice that as soon as you and Teri started talking about teaching and what you wanted to do with your life, she checked out of the conversation and never checked back in?? Tina suggested that maybe Monica just wasn?t interested in teaching. ?Monica isn?t interested in anything that isn?t Monica.? She drove a while in silence. ?You?ll also notice,? she said after a while, ?no one mentioned reconciling with the rest of the family. No one said a word about Uncle Dan, or where we might spend Christmas.? ?I don?t care. I have my cousins. We have at least our generation of family back.? ?Some of them. Trevor, definitely. Joe, mostly because of Stephanie, and Cole only because Teri will kick his ass if he doesn?t make nice. I wouldn?t count on any warm-and-fuzzies from Tyler or Vic, and you?ll notice their wives didn?t do anything more than smile and nod.? When they got home, Tina suggested Marjorie call Aunt Shirley. She shook her head. ?No, sweetie. I?m so glad that the cousins reached out to you girls and that you had such a nice time. But the breach between your uncle and me is so deep, it can only be bridged if he decides to do so, and I don?t think he will.? # It wasn?t until the first day of school that Tina realized she hadn?t seen or heard from Jeff all summer. She realized he?d been avoiding her, and she realized it hurt. Meredith?s breezy greeting in the driveway made her forget it for a while. Seeing Deanna in homeroom helped, too. She was bubbly and full of news about Paul, who had spent much of the summer, when he wasn?t working for his father, visiting Deanna and Marie. ?He is so sweet,? Deanna said. ?And Marie loves him. She?s starting to talk and she calls him ?Dada?.? ?Please don?t tell me you think he?s going to end up marrying you,? Tina said. ?I don?t know. All I know is that I love him.? She could see the determination. The second bell rang and the business of the new school year started. ?I can?t believe we?re seniors,? she whispered to Deanna, who nodded. She was on her way to the first class of the day, crossing the main lobby, when someone shoved her hard from the left side and barreled past. ?Move, bitch!? she heard a familiar voice growl. She looked up and saw a retreating figure in a sleeveless black tee shirt and black jeans, his light brown hair shorn away in the tightest of crew cuts. ?Hey!? she called out and raced after him. Halfway down the hall, she caught up to him just after he had shoved two more girls out of his way. She grabbed his arm, pulled hard, and yanked him around to face her. It was Jeremy. ?If you want to work your way back down the evolutionary ladder,? she said, ?that?s fine with me! But you show some common courtesy! And I guarantee that if you call me ?bitch? ever again, you will regret it for the rest of your days!? She turned and stalked away, and a number of students burst into applause. A couple yelled, ?Asshole!? But by the time she arrived in her class, she was working very hard not to cry. ?You okay?? It was Jeff. ?No.? He asked what was wrong, but she decided not to answer. A moment later, the teacher walked in and literature class started. She was glad the teacher handed out an outline for the class, because she absorbed nothing of what was said. ?Tina, can I talk to you?? Jeff asked when class ended. Her next class was calculus, and Jeff was in that class, too. ?I?m not very chatty today,? she said. ?I?m sorry we didn?t see much of each other over the summer,? he said. ?But you had a job and so did I. Plus, I really thought that after the prom, you needed some space.? She didn?t answer. ?Please tell me you?re not still upset about prom night,? he said. ?No. I actually had kind of forgotten about it.? She told him about the encounter with Jeremy. ?So, they?ve brainwashed him into being an asshole?? Jeff asked. ?All that?s gonna do is get his face beat in.? ?I don?t want to talk about it,? she said, and entered calculus class. With great reluctance, he followed. She tried to put the morning encounter out of her mind the rest of the day, but couldn?t. At lunch, she was finally able to meet up with Meredith and Alyssa. Meredith was blue because Karen had graduated and was now in college. But Alyssa was more deeply troubled. She had dated Steve through part of the summer, but he was trying to gain information on what was happening with Jeremy. So far, there was nothing anyone could use. Tina recounted her run-in with Jeremy that morning. ?That?s the worst of it,? Alyssa said. ?He?s become such a little creep, I can?t stand him. He makes gross comments to me, and he?s unable to talk about anything but sex and other bodily functions, even in front of his parents.? ?What about you?? Tina asked. ?I?m fine.? ?I don?t think so,? Meredith replied, and Alyssa got up and walked out. ?I know,? Meredith sighed. ?I?m a bitch.? ?No, you?re not. And I?m just as worried about her as you are.? The end of the school day was a relief, and she went to the newspaper office as a refuge, unsure if she preferred that Ms. Gunderson come in or stay away. She had only been there a few minutes when she heard a tentative knock at the door, which was open. She looked up and saw Jeremy standing there. ?Can I talk to you?? he asked. ?Didn?t see any evidence of it this morning.? ?I know. I came to apologize.? She stared at him in amazement. ?Is that allowed? Apologizing to a mere girl? Or do I rate an exception because I?m not really a girl?? He could only stare at the floor. ?Please don?t,? he said in little more than a whisper. It was then she saw the tattoo, a skull-and-crossbones on his right arm just below the shoulder. ?You?ve added some body art, I see. That part of the therapy?? ?My doctor thought it would be good for my confidence.? ?And is it?? He shrugged. ?I just wanted to say I was sorry for this morning. I just get mad sometimes, and they tell me I have to learn to express that, not keep it inside and blame myself.? ?In other words, always blame someone else?? ?No?not exactly. Look, Tina, I know you don?t understand, but?? She looked up and looked into his eyes. It was heartbreaking to think that this had been the same person who had been so happy being accepted by her brother as a girl, who had gloried in being fussed over by Tina and Alyssa and who had made such a stunning appearance at the dance and had won young Sam?s heart. Sam! She had seen him a couple of times that day, just glimpses. The agony she had seen in him over the summer had eased somewhat, replaced now by a dull melancholy. ?I supported you when you asked me,? she said. ?I gave you what you wanted more than anything else, and you were more natural than?? ?I can?t talk about that, Tina! In fact, I shouldn?t even be talking to you!? ?What am I, the devil? Are you supposed to stay away from anything that doesn?t conform to someone?s preconceived notion of the world? That?s a pretty twisted view, Jeremy.? ?I have to do what I have to do.? She explained that he didn?t have to. All he had to do was tell Ms. Gunderson or Ms. Barnes what they were doing to him, and the authorities would intervene and stop it. He?d be able to be whatever he wanted to be. ?Including Gerrilynn,? she said. His neck flamed. ?Don?t you ever mention that name to me again. Not ever! In fact, do not talk to me ever again!? Ms. Gunderson came in a couple of minutes later. ?Was that Jeremy Hall?? she asked. Tina recapped their conversation. ?I know. I should have kept my mouth shut.? ?No, Tina. I think you did the right thing. But now you have to let him go. Part of this is parental coercion, but part of it is his buy-in.? ?What about the abuse complaint?? She shook her head. ?Without documentation of coercion and with the appearance of cooperation from Jeremy, I think we?re on very thin ice.? A half hour later, she locked up the office, met Meredith and walked home, recapping the day as she went. ?I call that one totally shitty first day,? Meredith said.