Ms. Yates - Chapters 15 And 16 free porn video

Ms. Yates A Novel Fifteen The first sign that there might be a brighter school year ahead came when they had the first meeting of the LGBT support group at the youth club and over a hundred students showed up. "First of all," Meredith said as she opened the meeting, "I want to thank all of you for coming and making TinaMarie inordinately happy." The newcomers weren't just more numerous, they were more open about who they were and what they wanted. Many had questions, and they covered a wide range of topics. One freshman boy raised his hand. "My name is Andy," he said. "I'm a crossdresser." "Welcome, Andy," Meredith said, "but please don't say that like 'my name is Andy and I'm an alcoholic'. There's nothing to be ashamed of, that's why we're here. What's your question?" "I did a lot of 'net surfing over the summer, and I found some websites with fictional stories about crossdressing. A lot of the stories I saw were really kind of degrading. I mean, they were kind of arousing in some ways but at the end of them I felt, like, kinda grossed out. "So, my question is if this is the way crossdressers are always seen?" Ms. Gunderson, who had been answering most of the questions to that point, stepped forward and said, "We are fortunate to have someone here who I think has more insight into being transgendered than anyone I've ever met, and who I know has some thoughts on this. Tina?" "First of all," she said, "there all kinds of transgendered people, and the terminology is very loose. I prefer it that way, because I hate classifying people. At the same time, different transgendered people have different expectations and different needs. Some just like to dress as the other gender, some really wish they could be the other gender, and some decide to actually live as a member of the other gender, including making physical changes to their bodies to do it. "I'm not going to ask you where you fall on this, but if you want to talk to me later, that's cool. The thing is, transgendered people are the most misunderstood and mistreated of all of us, and part of the reason is that we often think so little of ourselves. Some of the stories you've read reflect this, reflect genuine self-loathing, and I think this is extremely harmful and counterproductive." Ms. Gunderson explained that the purpose of their group was to help each person feel accepted and accept themselves. To this end, they often recommended any number of professional organizations, including those who could help with gender issues. "Last year," Tina said, "I had a friend - or at least I thought he was a friend - who seemed at first to be very supportive and accepting. But what he really wanted was for me to be a stereotypical girl from like the 1950s - dressy, silly, subservient. I never had a dating relationship with him, but I came to realize that he wanted one with me, and he expected me to be completely docile and compliant in anything he wanted me to do, and you can guess what I mean." "Just because someone was born a male and wishes to live as a female does not mean that she should accept second-class status in anything," Ms. Gunderson said. "If we grow up wanting to be homemakers, or teachers, or nurses, or any other profession that has traditionally been a woman's role, that's fine as long as it's what we really want and not what we think we have to be. Feminism is as important to transgendered girls as it is to genetic girls." # "So," Meredith said in the car going home, "good meeting?" "Yes," Alyssa said, softly. "It was great." Meredith and Tina exchanged glances. "You okay?" Tina asked. Alyssa insisted she was fine. Meredith started to say something, but Tina shook her head and they rode the rest of the way in silence. Barbara, who was driving, dropped Alyssa off first, and only after she had gotten out of the car did the conversation resume. "Something is eating her," Meredith said. "And it's starting to piss me off." "I don't think that's the best approach for dealing with her," Barbara said. "Any idea what it might be?" Tina and Meredith exchanged glances. "She has some issues," Meredith said. "Don't we all," Barbara sighed. Once they got home, Tina walked Meredith over to her house. "It's gotta be Steve," Meredith said. "He's gone away to college. She's down. I know how she feels, with Karen being gone. I just wish she'd talk about it." "You know there are some things she can't talk about." Meredith looked up at her. Each was aware that the other knew Alyssa's painful secret, but they had never openly talked about it. "Yeah, but this ain't about that. That was years ago." Now, Tina grew quiet. "Look," Meredith said, "I know that you and Alyssa are close in a special way. I'm not jealous. If you can get into her head about this, I'm all for it. I love her, too." Tina was sure that there was more to Alyssa's depression than just missing Steve. "I think something went wrong before he left. Maybe Jeremy had something to do with it, maybe not. I do know that anytime Alyssa has a dating relationship end, she takes it really badly, like there's something wrong with her. She needs a very special kind of boy." "You have any particular kind in mind?" The hesitation was only momentary. "I don't know." The next day in school, Alyssa made an effort to appear more cheerful, but Tina immediately noticed some negative signs. She was wearing jeans, which she rarely did. Her hair was limp and tied back, and she had barely bothered with any makeup at all. By lunchtime, her attempts at bubbly conversation had petered out. "I've tried a couple of times to get her to open up," Meredith said as they met in the hall before the last class of the day. "Each time, she locks down tighter and tighter. This ain't about my pride, so I'm thinking maybe you can accidently-on-purpose run into her at the end of the day and may just happen to walk home with her." Assignments for the first edition of the Clarion had already been made, so there was nothing pressing to be dealt with. "Okay, I'll give it a try." Social studies was the last subject of the day, and Alyssa was in class with her. Catching her at the end of class was easy. "Meredith sent you," Alyssa said as soon as they started to walk. Tina saw no reason to deny it. "We're both worried sick about you. We love you. We've both been trying to get you to talk about whatever is wrong." "I can't talk about this to Meredith. And I don't think you'd understand." But even if she didn't, Tina was sure that just talking about it, the mere act of getting the problem into words, would help. "Something went bad with Steve, didn't it?" she asked as gently as she knew how. Alyssa could only give a quick nod. Suddenly, she was struggling not to cry. "But he seemed so much in love with you." "I note you said, 'seemed'." They walked a short distance in silence. "He didn't love you?" They were passing a small playground. Alyssa sat down on a bench, and Tina sat next to her. "He said he did," Alyssa said at last. "You didn't believe him?" "I believed him." Tina waited. She reached up and began softly stroking Alyssa's hair. "He said he wanted to marry me," she whispered. "Now?" "No. When the time was right. He just wanted me to know how much he loved me." "So, what happened?" Alyssa froze. "Tell me," Tina said, kissing her on the head. "I can't love him." Tina held her. "What do you mean?" she asked gently. "You don't love him?" "I can't. I can't love anyone!" Alyssa started to cry. Tina held her until she calmed down. "Every time I fall for someone, we become affectionate. Steve was very sweet, very gentle. He wanted to make love with me, and I wanted him to. I encouraged him. "And then I couldn't." "Because he put his finger in there?" Alyssa pulled away and sat up straight. She nodded. "And as soon as he did that, he became my uncle. I didn't want to love him, I wanted to hate him. It was the same with Rick - I loved him, desperately wanted him, and then I suddenly was repulsed by him." Young children had just entered the playground area, laughing and playing. "And it will always be that way. I can find the best, sweetest, most gentle man in the world. He can adore me, want to do anything for me, but as soon as he wants to do it with me, I will hate him." She turned back to face Tina. "I'm going to be alone my entire life. I can't be a lesbian. I tried it, and I couldn't." They started to walk. "I'm never going to be in love," Alyssa said as they slowly trudged the rest of the way home. "Not ever." I should tell her. She deserves to know. Maybe it would help. The sound of the children playing began to fade. And maybe I'd just be one more person she couldn't love. # The paper was Tina's refuge. Lyle and Brad had signed back on, and as they put the first issue together, she was glad to see that they had learned their lessons well. Brad surprised her with a very well written summary of the ongoing struggles in Congress for gun control reform. "This is really good, Brad," she said after she had reviewed it. "It's an objectively written piece that leaves the reader no choice as to what conclusions to draw." "I learned from the best," he said. Two sophomores had volunteered for the editorial staff, Gayle Hendricks and Michael Scalzi. Both could write well and both were willing to put in the work to get an issue out. They were in the middle of a Sunday session, finishing the first issue of the year when Tina sensed Gayle, a light-skinned black girl, staring at her. "Yes?" Gayle hesitated. "Do you still have to take shit from people? You know, about..." "Do you still have to take shit from people, you know, about being black?" Tina asked. Gayle stopped what she was doing, started to reply, then stopped. "Kind of the same thing, yes?" "Yeah, it is. Sorry." They worked for another hour before they started wrapping things up. There was only a bit of tidying up of the office left when the boys took off. "Tina," Ms. Gunderson said, "Do you need a ride?" "No, I'm walking home. I can finish up here." "Gayle, how about you?" "I'll stay and help Tina, thanks." After Ms. Gunderson had left, Tina said, "You can go if you like. I'll only be a few more minutes." But Gayle wanted to help. She wanted to make it up to her. "Listen, if anyone should apologize, it's me," Tina said. "The school year hasn't gotten off to a great start, and sometimes it backs up on me." She turned off the light and locked the office. They walked up the stairs to the main lobby, said goodbye to the security guard, and left the building. "If it makes a difference, I didn't ask you out of idle curiosity or to gossip. I really wanted to know." "Well, thanks. I appreciate that." "I like you. A lot, I mean." They walked a block in silence. "A lot," Gayle added. That made Tina smile. "Do you have a thing for transsexuals?" she asked. Gayle frowned. "I didn't mean..." "Sorry, that came out a bit harsh. What I meant was, if it's the fact that I'm transgendered that draws your interest." "Maybe. I like you, how you look, how you are with people, and then I remind myself that you're a girl, and I've never thought of myself as a lesbian, but then I realize that you're...kinda different." Tina smiled broadly and congratulated her on her sense of delicacy. But then the smile faded. "Since coming out, I've had three romantic relationships with boys. I felt very strongly about each of them, gradually allowed it to become more physical, but then slammed it shut each time before things went too far. In at least one of those cases, I think I hurt the boy in question a lot." "Why are you telling me this?" "Because you are young, and inexperienced, and I like you very much as a person. You don't hold your feelings in reserve, or protect them behind a concrete wall. It took me fourteen years to work out that I really am a girl, but I still haven't worked out what kind of girl I am." "You mean whether you like boys or girls? But it sounds like you're halfway to answering that question." Tina stopped and smiled a little. She hadn't thought of it that way. But then she turned serious again. "I don't know. But I do know that the process of finding out is usually a painful one - not just for me, but for the other person. I don't want to hurt you, Gayle, I really don't, especially since I'm still trying to figure out how I really feel." Gayle thought that over for a while. "I guess," she said, nodding. "But if you're looking to become better friends," Tina added, "I'd like that very much." # When she got home, Barbara's car wasn't in the driveway, so the fact that Marjorie was alone was not a surprise. That she was sitting in an easy chair in the living room in the growing gloom of encroaching dusk was a surprise. The half empty glass of wine on the table was a red flag; Marjorie never drank alone. "What's wrong, Mom?" "Nothing." "Well, good. Then I can tell you my news. I'm pregnant." Marjorie was still staring into space for a few moments, then started and barked, "What?!" "That's better. What's the deal?" She settled back into the chair and started to wave Tina away. "No, Mom, or else I'll have to tell you why I think I'm pregnant." "Stop that." Tina giggled. "I'm just...wrestling with a problem, that's all." Tina plopped down on the ottoman, a nonverbal declaration that she intended to wait as long as it took. The nearly immediate sigh told her it had worked. "Cousin Cole's wife, Teri, called. She seems quite taken with you, by the way. She wanted to know if we would like to come for Thanksgiving." "We spend Thanksgiving with Meredith's family," Tina said. "I told her that we have friends that we see for Thanksgiving, and that we would not want to suddenly stop. She completely understood, but then she mentioned Christmas. It seems she's taken over the holidays that Grandma used to do, since Grandma moved in with my brother and his wife and they don't feel they can manage it." Tina fell into a reflective mood. "Gee, Mom, I don't know." "Well, I'm very glad to hear that. I was afraid you would be all for it, considering how the dinner went at the end of the summer." "That was just the cousins, and even that wasn't perfect. This would include Aunt Shirley, Uncle Dan...God, Grandma!" Marjorie's heavy sigh punctuated the thought, but she said nothing. "I don't want to turn Christmas in to World War III," Tina said, then lapsed into silence. Marjorie still said nothing. "Then again, why should I have to put up with being excluded because a couple of old farts want to run my life?!" Marjorie chuckled softly. "What?" Tina asked. "Oh, nothing. It's just that you've now gotten up to the point I was when I poured myself a glass of wine. Would you like one?" Gradually, Marjorie had been allowing Tina small amounts of alcohol on occasions. Tina couldn't tell if she was serious or not. "No, thanks. I read somewhere that those times when you say, 'I need a drink' are exactly the times you shouldn't have one." "You are clearly the wiser of my two daughters." Tina moved over and sat down in the easy chair with Marjorie. They hugged for a while. "I'm sorry, Mommy. I seem to always be causing you problems." "Hey! None of that! Have I ever said to you, even once, since you came out that I thought it was a mistake, that I was sorry I had agreed to it, or that this was a fine mess you'd gotten us into?" Tina shook her head. "There's a good reason for that. It's because it was exactly the right thing for you, so right that if I berate myself for anything, it's that we didn't do it sooner. I love both my daughters desperately, but my TinaMarie is my shining star." "Thanks. I guess I just don't feel especially sparkly lately." "Hmmm...maybe we should decline Teri's invitation and stick with our plan for a cruise again. That sure put a sparkle in your eyes last year." Tina thought about it and slowly shook her head. "What's wrong, sweetie?" Tina got up and went over and sat on the couch. "It's my senior year. It's supposed to me my shining moment. And yet everything feels wrong. "If we go on a cruise, I'm going to be waiting for it to happen just like it did last year, meet someone like Doug, get swept off my feet, be on the brink of something really wonderful and then..." "And then, what?" She got up. "Mom, whatever you and Barb decide about Christmas is fine with me. Either way, I promise not to be a mope." She went upstairs to change. # Thanksgiving morning, she got a phone call from Trevor. "I hear we're not going to see you today," he said. "So, I just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving." She thanked him and asked him to pass her best wishes on to Monica. "How did you know? About Monica, I mean." "What about Monica?" "She's pregnant. The baby is due in July. My folks are ready to kill me." After she got off the phone, she mentioned Monica's condition to Marjorie and Barbara. "Oh, dear," Marjorie said with a hint of a smirk. "Wonder who the daddy is," Barbara said. Marjorie looked shocked. "Barbara was not favorably impressed by Monica," Tina said, dryly. Before going to Meredith's for dinner, Marjorie asked the girls for a decision about Christmas, as Teri had called again. "Tina, I think that this is going to have the gravest impact on you, so I need to know what you want. I know you said that whatever Barbara and I decided was fine, but it isn't." "Why don't you list pros and cons?" Barbara said. On the positive side, she really wanted to see Trevor and worried that she would hurt him if she didn't go. She also appreciated that Teri was working hard to bring her back into the family, and that Stephanie supported it. On the downside, most of her other cousins were either indifferent or quietly antagonistic, and that didn't even begin to address the hostility they were likely to encounter from people like Aunt Shirley and Uncle Dan. Barbara made an impatient gesture. "Since when do you give a shit what anyone else thinks? When I said list pros and cons, I didn't mean to take a poll on your sex change." Tina drew a breath to fight back, but stopped. Barbara's glare made it clear she was not backing down. Tina stole a peek at her mother, who was smiling. "You, too?" she gasped. Marjorie shrugged. "We've all come to expect a certain spirit from you, honey. It hurts not to see it. But you can't force it, and if you really don't feel up to facing the family, then we can just let it go at that. I'll call Teri tomorrow morning and make our apologies." Dinner with Meredith's family was warm and comforting as always. Afterward, the two retreated to Meredith's bedroom to talk. Tina told her about the Christmas invitation, and that she didn't feel up to facing it. "I don't blame you. You're really down these days, and the last thing you need is shit from your relatives. And, hey, it's kinda nice that now it's you turning them down rather than the other way around." Tina lay back on the bed while Meredith put on Coldplay. The first song was "Paradise." "I love this song," Meredith said. "Me, too. Well, the music, anyway. Sometimes the words bother me - the whole thing about the only place you can find paradise is in a dream." "Well, it's true, isn't it?" "No. I mean, yeah, there's no such thing as paradise, but that doesn't mean that good stuff doesn't happen. Things like our friendship, Alyssa, what we've managed with the support group, the paper, shutting up the school board. Even..." Meredith stared and then asked, "Even what?" "Nothing." She pressed her. "Even my cousin Trevor standing up for me, and getting the other cousins to accept me." "Yeah, but you said..." "Never mind what I said. That took balls, and he's the youngest after me. I can't..." She jumped off the bed and dashed downstairs, where Marjorie and Ms. Bennett were in earnest conversation. "Mom, I've changed my mind about Christmas. I want to go." Marjorie turned and held her arms apart, and Tina rushed into them for a hug. "That's my girl." Sixteen The dress was emerald green, a shirtdress that was tight at the waist and had a crinoline underneath so that it flared out until hit halted a couple of inches above the knee. Tan pantyhose and black pumps with a four inch heel rounded it out. Barbara gave her a jeweled comb for Christmas and she used it to pull back the hair on the left side of her face, while she also wore a diamond pendant that Marjorie had given her. It was a half hour ride to Cole's. Marjorie used the drive to warn the girls about their grandmother. "She's now 92. She gets around all right but she has Alzheimer's, so she may not recognize any of us." "So," Barbara said to Tina, "you may catch a break." When they got there, Cole was cordial but still very reserved with Tina. Marjorie was civil with her brothers and their wives, but quickly found herself engaged by Teri. It took a few moments for Marjorie's mother to recognize her, but then the fog cleared and she pronounced herself glad to see her. "Where's Joel?" she asked. Marjorie reminded her that he had passed away. "Oh, I'm so sorry. When?" Marjorie wasn't sure how to get out of telling the whole story. It was Teri who rescued her. "Mom, would you like something to drink?" she asked. "Oh. No, not now. I'll wait until Dad gets back." Tina watched as Teri simply shrugged and led the three of them in to the living room. There she saw Monica, sitting on the couch, a sour look on her face. "Hi, Monica," she said, brightly. "Oh. Hi." "How are you feeling?" "Shitty, as usual. Guess you can consider yourself lucky. This is one part of womanhood you won't get to experience." Tina sat down next to her. "Not directly. But I was with a friend of mine when she went through her pregnancy a couple of years ago, and I was with her when she delivered." "Almost as good as being a mom yourself." It was said without a hint of humor. "Not nearly," Tina replied, suddenly serious. Just then Trevor came by, bent over and gave Tina a kiss. "Merry Christmas," he said. "See you're keeping our mom-to-be company. Can I get you anything?" "Yeah," Monica said. "A dry martini." "Nothing for me, thanks," Tina said. Teri called to Trevor and he excused himself. "Asshole," Monica growled. "Aren't you guys kind of engaged?" Tina asked. "Yeah, well, everybody makes mistakes." As soon as she could gracefully do so, Tina excused herself and went to see how her mother and sister were getting on. Marjorie was helping Teri while Barbara was talking with Tom, who had seemed to relax a bit. She had just decided to return to the living room when she turned and came face to face with her grandmother. "Who are you?" "I'm Tina." "Who??" "Tina. Marjorie's daughter." The old woman pondered that. "You mean Barbara." "No, Barbara's my sister. I'm Tina." She walked away, muttering to herself. "That could get interesting," Stephanie said as she passed by. She decided to stop. "How have you been? You look stunning, by the way." "Thanks. So do you." "Not like you, girl. So, what's the plan?" She was hoping to go to Fordham in the fall, still planning on working with special needs kids. "How's your love life?" Tina smiled at her delicacy. "Currently in 'pause' mode," she said, and Stephanie laughed. "Good for you." Just then, they heard a stifled but sharp exchange between Vic and Pam. Stephanie shook her head. "It ain't always happily ever after," Stephanie said. "Best to take your time and know your own heart." "Are they having troubles?" "Oh, yeah. And I have a feeling it isn't just about them." Trevor squeezed by, said hello and kept going. Tina smiled after him, but when she turned back to Stephanie, her expression was very different. "He's so sweet," Tina said. "Yeah, he is that. Unfortunately, he's also na?ve. Really na?ve." Her grandmother came by. "Who are you?" she demanded of Tina. "Grandma, this is Tina." "Tina? Who's girlfriend is she?" "No one's, Grandma, I'm Marjorie's daughter." "Marjorie's daughter is Barbara." "I'm her other daughter." "She doesn't have another daughter!" "She does, now," Stephanie said. "You'd better not be sleeping with my son-in-law, young lady!" And she walked away. "I'm definitely not doing that, Grandma!" Tina called after her. But a short while later, when Tina, Teri and Marjorie were all in the kitchen, her grandmother came by again. "Ah, there she is. Marjorie, I'll have you know that little slut next to you is fooling around with your husband!" Marjorie smiled, then bit her lip from keeping it from expanding into a full laugh. "No, Mom. Joel passed away six years ago, and besides, Tina is my daughter." "I thought your daughter's name was Barbara." "That's my older daughter. Tina is my younger daughter." "I thought your younger daughter's name was Chris." "No, Dad's name was Chris." "Are you saying your father is sleeping with this girl?!" "No, Mom, no. Tina is my daughter, and she isn't sleeping with anyone." "Ha. That's what you think. Take a look at that little hussy in the living room. She's pregnant or I'm not a day over 60." Just then, Pam walked in. "Who's pregnant?" "I think she means Monica," Teri said. Pam immediately got sullen. "Oh, she most certainly is," she said, and stormed out. Tina looked at Stephanie, who just shook her head slightly. "Who's Monica?" her grandmother demanded to know. She wheeled on Marjorie. "Another of your hidden supply of girls, I suppose?" "No, Mom. She's Trevor's girlfriend." "And who's this?" she asked, gesturing at Tina. "My younger daughter, Tina." Grandma turned away. "Dan! Where's Dan? We have to do something about my pills..." They watched her go, trying not to laugh. "Well, that was fun," Teri said with a smile. # Mid-January, and there had been snow flurries periodically during the day from a steel-gray sky, blown about by gusty winds that bit with teeth of ice. Tina was grateful that their meeting to plan the third issue of the year would be in the newspaper office, which had no windows. But the office soon became crowded and overheated, and she was wishing she could just pull off the heavy turtleneck sweater she wore with her pink leggings and UGG boots. "Okay," she said, forcing her mind back into the meeting. "We need a good 'outside' story for this issue, and we need a lead story." "You mean two different stories, or can the outside story be the lead?" asked Gayle. Tina explained that making a story from outside the school a lead story was always a challenge because the amount of time it took to publish the paper meant that it couldn't possibly have the same immediacy as in a real newspaper. "Hey!" Lyle said, "this is a real newspaper!" "Well put," Ms. Gunderson said with a laugh. "But the problem remains as Tina says. Any outside story has to be much more in depth than a regular news story so as to give it a different angle than what one would read in Newsday or the New York Times." "Gayle, what are you thinking about?" Tina asked. "We're planning on this issue being out by late February, right? I was thinking of an analytical piece on the school board. We could talk about the major issues they've dealt with, or haven't dealt with, as well as the budgetary and policy decisions they've made and what impact they've had." Tina looked to Ms. Gunderson, who remained impassive. "Who would you talk to?" Tina asked. "As many board members as I could, but especially Gardner. I'd also talk to Barnes and some of the teachers, as well as a representative group of students - some of the student leaders and a sampling of others." "You realize we'd be publishing a few weeks before the school board election," Ms. Gunderson noted. "You would have to make sure your piece could not be taken as a campaign piece." Gayle indicated that she knew that, but Ms. Gunderson still looked doubtful. "I like it," Tina said at last. But she was worried about Gayle's editing responsibilities, given the fact that she'd probably be working on the piece right up to deadline. "Not a problem." "Your call," Ms. Gunderson said to Tina. "Okay, let's go with it. Front page, so, Lyle, that's your baby. I'll want to get together with you and Gayle on a regular basis to see how it's going." "And please keep me informed," Ms. Gunderson said. When she saw a look of consternation on Tina, she smiled and added, "this is potentially a very delicate topic for us, and I want to be able to make sure I have your collective back." Tina agreed. The rest of the meeting suddenly bubbled over with ideas, as everyone reacted to the thrill of a new project. When the meeting ended, Ms. Gunderson offered Tina a ride home, which she accepted without hesitation. The flurries had stopped and the wind had picked up. It was a relief to get into the car. "We're supposed to get hit with a major snowstorm," Ms. Gunderson said. "If it's bad enough to close school, it could push our deadline back, and Gayle's article could come out right at the election. I'm hoping we can avoid that." "I'll stay on her. But she knows what she's doing. I think she may be my successor." # It snowed that night, and the next morning there were four inches, which the wind had whipped into drifts in some places. Travel to school was slow and uneven, and students arrived with nerves jangled. It wasn't surprising that an altercation erupted in the hall before homeroom. Tina had just come up from the cafeteria when she heard shouted voices down the hall, followed by the loud report of something - or someone - being slammed into a row of lockers. She turned into the main hallway just in time to see Mr. Galvin, the new assistant principal, breaking up the fight. "Oh, you again," he said. As Tina got closer, she could see the boy in question was Jeremy Hall. "This is the third fight you've been in since the holidays. Know what your problem is, Hall? Your mouth is bigger than your fists." As Mr. Galvin led Jeremy to his office to be written up yet again, a trail of sniggering was left behind. Tina walked into her homeroom class shaking her head. When Deanna asked what had happened and she told her, Deanna replied, "Oh, him again." "Yeah," Tina said as she sat down. "One of these days, Galvin isn't going to be there to save him." "Or he won't feel like it. Galvin hates him. Not without good reason, I might add." Tina fell silent. "I'm sorry," Deanna added, more softly. "I know you two have a history, but..." "No, that's gone. It's just that he's a ticking time bomb, and the ticking is getting louder." After homeroom, she saw Alyssa in the hallway. She'd been better during the holidays, but now seemed to be sliding back into her malaise again. She had seen the altercation with Jeremy and it just depressed her more. "Doesn't it bother you?" she asked. "I can't imagine it wouldn't." Tina explained that she never stopped mourning the loss of Gerrilynn, but she had come to accept that Jeremy was complicit in her demise. If he had raised even token resistance, he could have stopped the process that had now overtaken him. But she realized that at some point he had accepted the idea that his gender identity could be "fixed" and had embraced it. "I pray that he'll somehow snap out of it before it's too late," she said. "But I no longer allow myself to worry about him." At lunch time she was just walking into the cafeteria with Alyssa and Meredith when she ran into Gayle, who was bubbling with excitement. "I have an appointment after school to see Gardner down at his law office," she said. "I told him the idea I had for the article, and he liked it, said he can't wait to talk to me. I've gotten appointments for three of the other members already, and Ms. Barnes said she'd be happy to talk to me." She ran off before Tina could say anything, but she grinned as she watched her go. "Holy shit," Meredith said. "You found another you." When they sat down for lunch, Meredith stunned them by bringing up a topic that many of the seniors were already discussing but which neither of the other two had mentioned. "I asked Karen to go with me to the senior prom, and she accepted. I thought maybe we could form a table - you guys and your dates, and maybe Paul and Deanna." "No," Tina said. "I don't think so," Alyssa added. But if Meredith couldn't understand their reluctance, they were equally baffled by her enthusiasm. Hadn't she always been the one to play down such events, if not eschewing them altogether? "You guys don't get it. This is our senior year. Okay, it's been kinda rocky so far, but that doesn't mean we can't grab what we should grab from what's left of it. Just think about it." Tina promised she would but then promptly dropped it from her mind. Gayle's progress on the school board story began to really take hold. The next day, Gayle filled her and Lyle in on her interview with Gardner, who viewed his tenure as president of the school board as an unqualified success, striking just the right balance between frothing- at-the-mouth zealots on the one hand and the see-no-evil types on the other. "Did he actually say that?" Tina asked. Gayle played back a section of tape from the recording she'd made that couldn't be interpreted any other way. "Oh, and I asked him what he thought his biggest accomplishment was, and he said casting the deciding vote on the LGBT organization. He actually volunteered that." "Maybe," Tina mused, "this is turning out to be a pretty good year after all." But if it was, it wasn't turning out that way for Jeremy Hall. In the afternoon, while changing classes, she saw a young girl, clearly a freshman, shove him with both hands and yell, "Just get away from me!" "Uh oh," Meredith said. "Don Juan whiffs on another curve ball." As he stormed away from the girl, he was headed in their direction. Tina could see him struggling not to cry. "Suh-mooth!" called a familiar voice. Tina realized it was Bruno. Recalling his crowing about having sex with Emily Stone after the junior prom the year before, she was suddenly annoyed. "Bruno," she said, "just once, spare us your wisdom." Before Bruno could say anything, Jeremy stopped and turned back. "I do not need any help from you bitches!" he yelled, then stormed away. "Charmed, I'm sure," Meredith said in a low voice. "Shit!" Tina muttered. # Deanna was also talking about the prom. She had asked Paul, and thought it would be fun if they all had a table together. "Have you been talking with Meredith about this?" "No, not yet." But she was glad to know that Meredith had been thinking along the same lines. "I don't know," Tina said. "I really wasn't planning on going to the prom this year. My dating life has really ground to a halt, and I think it might be best just to leave it there for a while." "But this isn't just a date, it's your prom, a chance to be out all night with a group. A lot of kids are just going with people they happen to know and aren't serious about at all." "In which case, it's just an invitation to casual sex and I'm not up for that, either." That night, she spoke on the phone with Alyssa. She still didn't want to go, for reasons Tina already knew. # Two weeks after beginning her work on the school board story, Gayle had interviewed all of the members, Ms. Barnes, Rick Hayden, now president of student council, and several teachers. Tina looked over her notes thus far and was impressed. "Working it into a story for the front page will be a challenge," she said. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Am I limited to just the four columns on the front page?" Actually, it would be two columns on the front page and two on the page three. "Shoot for that, and then if you really feel you have to go over, we'll see where we are on the rest of the issue." After school, Tina went to Ms. Gunderson and gave her the latest. "I was wondering if we could do another two pages, you know, add an insert to make it six pages. It could be a special issue." It was possible, but it would be half again the amount of editorial work, and they would have to make sure that they had enough other material to balance the issue. "Michael says that he has some good material on the school's basketball team. And Gayle says that she'll also be getting a good piece on the chess club for features. I, of course, will have an editorial." Ms. Gunderson asked on what subject, and Tina mentioned that she was thinking of something on students' emotional issues. "You mean Jeremy." It wasn't an accusation, but it pulled Tina up short. "No," she said. "I was just thinking of all the things that make kids boil over, and how we really don't have a way for them to deal with them." "You mean Jeremy." This time, she smiled when she said it. "Tell you what - see what you can pull together, and we'll talk about it."