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Mom's Girl Redux Part 2 free porn video
Mom's Girl Redux Part 2
by
Elizabeth Joanne
Chapter 5
I debated the offers all weekend without reaching any decisions. I had
talked with Mom on Sunday but told her nothing of the offers nor how I
felt about them. I knew in my heart what she would tell me what to do and
perhaps deep inside I agreed with her but was afraid to admit that to
myself. Yes the thought of being Beth 24/7 was exciting and that was hard
to get past. Still was I really ready for it? Could I really do it or was
I kidding myself? I know the separation offer was very generous and to be
honest I was not sure I could go the other way, it just wasn't me. I had
become successful doing this my way and there was no way I wanted to take
a step back. Besides the thought of having to move to Buffalo was not
enticing to me a single bit. I was just as or even more confused as I
dressed for work Monday morning.
Over the course of the week there were meetings with some of my co-
workers and the new owners. Most were told their services were no longer
required and after the end of the first quarter of next year they would
be unemployed. Yes they would receive outsourcing assistance commencing
immediately and for the next 6 months as well as a severance package.
While no one discussed the exact details of their offer I quickly gleaned
they were nowhere near as generous as they one offered to me. I worked
day in and day out with these people, some 20 years or more, and although
I was far from close to any of them we were all friendly and I felt pain
for them. I was single and had made good money and while not a miser I
had always set some aside for that rainy day. On the other hand most of
them had families and many of them at that awkward age, too young to
retire but been around long enough they were at or near the peak of their
earning capability.
By now we were into the 2nd week of October and I still had 3 weeks of
vacation and a couple of personal days to use up. Normally I would just
let them go but I decided this year not a chance! I took Thursday and
Friday as personal days telling everyone I needed to get away. They
teased me about just having had a vacation but they knew all of this was
getting to me. It was to them as well. It felt good to roll over that
Thursday morning and fall back asleep until almost 8 AM. I hadn't been
sleeping well all week with everything going on and I sure needed it.
I lolled around the house most of the day before getting dressed for my
6:00 therapy session. Yes I was going to wear a suit like I usually had
on for these but today it was a skirted suit. No I didn't have the
extensions put into my hair or get a manicure but rather wore one of my
wigs and did my own nails. I thought I looked pretty good but I was
nervous as a whore in church sitting in Dr. Wagner's waiting room. Yes
the red suit was classy with its hem ending just above my knees and a
form fitting jacket, The jacket was cut so I didn't even need a shell
under it but I wore a white silk scarf under to prevent any possible
peeks at my bra or forms.
"Well this is a pleasant surprise Beth," Dr. Wagner smiled as he emerged
from his office. "Come on in."
"Thank you," I smiled as I grabbed my purse and followed him.
"So how have you been? How are things going?" he said as he sat down
behind his desk and I took my usual seat.
"Very confusing," I said as I smoothed my skirt under me and sat down.
"Things happening at work as well on the home front and to be honest I am
confused about how I feel about all of this."
"Well then let us talk about all of that," he smiled.
Over the next 45 minutes or so I poured out my heart and soul about my
visit with Mom as well as what Nancy had brought up. I told him how Mom
had reacted and what she said when her and I talked about it. I told him
there was definitely a fascination with the idea and at that point I
thought to myself maybe some day but I was not ready to retire. I then
went into what had transpired at work and the offers I had gotten and how
I felt about both of them as well as the possibility of taking my game
elsewhere. He rarely said anything only interrupting a couple of times to
ask a question to clarify things. Finally I was just about talked out and
the tears were freely flowing down my cheeks. He sat back in his chair
and took his glasses off.
"Beth I know you came here seeking a magic answer but in reality you know
only you can make that decision," he started. "We have discussed the
prospect of you going full time before and to be honest in my opinion you
will someday as I believe that you are and always have been a woman. You
and you alone will have to make the ultimate choice though."
"I guess my question then becomes am I really ready for that step? I said
as I dabbed at my tears.
"Again only you can answer that for yourself but if you are looking for
my opinion, yes you are," he replied. "You have been for a long time and
to be honest I am surprised you haven't done it yet. With the offer they
have made you you have opportunity to start out right and be in a far
better place than most girls in your circumstances. You have a chance for
a fresh start away from everything and a family that is supportive. Most
girls in your position would kill to have what you have now, let alone
what all of this offers you."
"I can appreciate that but this is a lot to digest," I said. "I need time
to process all of this."
"I understand that Beth, so take your time," he said. "I don't normally
tell patients this but I am usually here on Saturday morning to go over
notes as well as some bookkeeping and am planning on being so this
Saturday. If you want to talk more about all of this stop by Saturday
morning and we can talk after you have some time to think about all of
this some more. No charge, just a chance to chat."
"I appreciate that Dr. Wagner," I smiled as I got up from my chair. "I
just may do that after I have had a chance to sleep on it."
"Please do Beth," he smiled. "I think it will do you a world of good."
"Thank you."
I left and stopped for a late dinner on my way home. My mind was
obviously elsewhere but I couldn't help but notice the businessman a few
tables away eying me up and smiling. I don't know if he knew the secret I
had tucked away in my pantyhose but at least part of me hoped he didn't.
It would be nice to know that the world or at least some of it saw me as
a middle aged, well OK maybe a little older than middle aged business
woman. After all I did have an AARP card in my purse.
I got home and changed into my nightgown and sat down with a drink to
think of all that has happened over the past few weeks. It was times like
this that made me regret quitting smoking as a cigarette would sure taste
good right about now. Yes it has been 7 years since I quit but every once
in a while I still miss it. Get back to the subjects at hand Beth.
Whatever you decide your comfortable life is going to change. Deep inside
there was a desire to say the hell with all this crap and start over as a
middle aged women in the world but I had lots of questions as well. This
is not going to be an easy choice and whatever I decide there are
potential rewards as well as issues.
Chapter 6
I slept pretty well that Thursday night after my session with Dr. Wagner.
It seemed to put things into perspective me for more clearly. Not that I
reached any earth shattering conclusions or anything close but it at
least put my mind to rest about one option. I did call my attorney and
faxed over both of the offers and told hm to look them over and tell me
if they were as they seemed to the layman's eye. Seeing as we had been
friends for years he knew well of both sides of me so we had a
conversation concerning what was required from a legal standpoint should
I decide to transition. He said there really shouldn't be much but he
would check into it and get back to me. I really didn't do much Friday
other than some straightening and cleaning around the condo. Guess all of
this weighed on me still.
Saturday morning as I sat there with my morning coffee I thought all of
this over more and what Dr. Wagner had said about being in the office. I
was still on the fence as to what I was going to do but I needed to talk
to someone about everything and he would be as impartial as anyone. I got
dressed in some jeans and the same red turtleneck sweater I had worn on
my drive to Mom's as it was cold and rainy out there. I grabbed my
leather jacket and purse and out I went. The parking lot in the office
complex was pretty much empty save a few scattered cars. In front of the
building his office was in was a dark blue Cadillac. I hoped it was his
as I pulled in next to it. The door to his outer office was unlocked and
I could see a light under the door to his inner office. Not wanting to
barge in I knocked lightly on the door.
"Come on in Beth," he called out.
"How did you know it was me?" I asked as I came in.
"I heard the car pull up and saw you get out," he smiled. "Besides I had
a feeling you might take me up on my invitation. Coffee is over there,
help yourself."
"Thanks," I replied as I poured a cup for myself. "I have been doing a
lot of thinking since we talked and to be honest I have a few, well maybe
more than a few questions."
"Sure, sit down and let's talk," he said as he cleared away the papers in
front of him on the desk. "Like I have always told you questions I like,
it's the ones with all the answers that scare me. So what would you like
to know?"
"You mean besides the 6 numbers to the next lottery drawing?" I laughed.
"Don't we all?" he laughed back.
"All joking aside I have been thinking a lot about what we talked about
the other night and I have not made any decisions about anything but
suppose I were to decide to go full time, then what's next? What do I
have to do?"
"Well first off I have a couple of questions for you," he smiled. "If you
were to go full time would you also like to undergo a hormone regimen to
more feminize your body?"
"I never thought about it until right now but yes I would, after all in
for a penny in for a pound," I replied.
"OK, would your eventual goal be that of Sexual Reassignment Surgery?" he
asked. "Not that would make a difference but I am curious."
"I would have to say a definite yes to that, that is if I opt to go that
way," I replied. "Like we have talked about many times I have never felt
well right to use a lame expression. I am not sure It is that much better
as a woman but I do know it can't be as bad as trying to live behind that
mask I put on and portray myself as a man to the world most of the time."
"Well Beth should you choose to go that route and desire hormone therapy
the first step would be a complete physical and blood work," he said.
"I had a physical just a couple of months ago and everything was fine."
"Not good enough Beth, you would need one again," he said. "Should you
schedule that I would recommend you have your physician contact me so I
can explain the whats and whys to him."
"Her," I smiled. I saw the confused on his face so I added, "My primary
care physician is a woman."
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have stereotyped, explain the whats and whys to
her," he went on. "Then once all those results come back satisfactory she
and I would consult with an endocrinologist to determine the best regime
and dosages for you specifically. As I have a medical degree I would then
prescribe those to you but you will need periodic blood tests to make
sure everything is going right and I would highly recommend we continue
on as doctor/patient."
"A bit more to all of this than I had surmised," I replied.
"There is but these safeguards are there to assure your health, physical,
mental, and emotional," he replied. "Beth I have known you for what 10
years on and off?"
"Pretty close to that for sure."
"Well over that period of time I have come to know you well and one thing
I have learned is when you do something you do it right and this is the
right way," he smiled. "No method is perfect but this has been developed
and refined over the years by the medical and psychological communities
to give the highest degree of success and health on all levels."
"That makes sense and should I opt to go this way I have no intentions of
taking any shortcuts," I replied. "I am curious though should I go this
route what type of results can I expect from the hormones?"
"Well there will definitely be mental and emotional changes over time. As
for physical changes your physician and endocrinologist are far better
suited to answer that question however from what I have read it is that
tired saying of individual results can vary," he laughed. "It seems like
hereditary, age of the patient, and their exact hormone levels going in
have an effect. I know you have told me you take after your mother's side
of the family and they have ah, well ah ..."
"Amply blessed by the Booby Fairy?" I giggled.
"Cute way of putting it but yes."
"My cousin uses that to describe her daughters," I smiled. "She always
said with her girls a C cup was a training bra."
"Well I am not sure you can expect results like that but considering your
family history I would not be surprised if you were to develop at least
somewhat. The old rule of thumb used to be you would develop to a cup
less than had been you been born in a female form. Not sure that is
really true and like I said age does seem to have a factor in breast
development of girls on hormone therapy."
"I understand," I smiled. "Not going to hold you to anything but I was
curious."
"I can understand that Beth," he said. "If for any reason you are not
satisfied with the development there is always enhancement but there are
many A and B cup women out there who are perfectly satisfied with their
bodies, my own wife included."
"I hope you don't think I am so superficial to think the measure of a
woman is in her bra size," I said.
"Heavens no Beth," he said reassuringly. "You were just curious and
rightfully so."
"I have taken up way too much of your time Dr. Wagner." I said as I stood
up. "Thank you for your help and honesty concerning all of this."
"You are most welcome and I hope I have answered all your questions but I
have one for you now."
"Which is?"
"Have you made any decisions after this little chat of ours?"
"Well yes and no," I smiled. Seeing the perplexed look I added, "I have
decided to at least go forward and have the physical and see what that
says. I am not saying that is how I am going because I am still not sure
but I would like to know exactly where I stand and if that is truly a
viable option for me."
"I would expect nothing less from you," he smiled. "You have a sweet
personality about you and are truly a giving and caring person in my
opinion but you can be cold and calculating as well. The fact you want to
see what all the possibilities are doesn't surprise me and to be honest I
would be disappointed in you if you made a rash decision. Call me if you
have any other questions or concerns."
"I will Dr. Wagner and thank you for everything."
I left and stopped at the grocery store on my way home to pick some
things up. I have to admit I was not really closer to a decision than I
had been before but it was nice to know what I might need to do should I
go that way. I did have a nice talk with Mom that evening but said not a
thing about my Thursday evening session nor my talk with Dr. Wagner
earlier today. She did ask if I had reached any conclusions and I could
sense the disappointment in her voice when I said no. I know what she
would like me to do and I can't deny the thought of it was intriguing.
Still my degree says Engineer and all through my life I have been trained
to think things through and weigh the options. This is my life I am
talking about here so I sure don't want to make any mistakes.
Chapter 7
What in the hell are you doing Beth I asked to myself as I wrestled
myself into a pair of pantyhose that Sunday morning. Here I was getting
ready to go to mass and Mom was nowhere in sight. Hell she was across
the state at her place and I was in my own bedroom, a good 150 miles
away. Yes she was probably doing similar right now I thought as I did my
make up. I had been raised Roman Catholic, even attending a Catholic high
school way back when but after I moved out the only time I went to church
was when I was with my parents and in more recent memory when I visited
Mom. I was still not sure what had come over me but for some reason this
morning I woke up with the "need" to go to church. Certainly I am not
turning into one of those holy rollers in my golden years, am I?.
I was almost late as I wasn't really sure exactly where the church was in
spite of it being only a couple of miles from where I lived. Yes I had
driven by it countless times but I was never really paying attention to
it being there. This morning was different though as I was focused on
attending mass. The mass was the same as it was when I went with Mom but
there was a definite difference to me. When I went to mass with her it
was more an act of appeasement yet here I was alone sitting in the pew
listening to every word of the sermon. Because now the mass included
absolution of your sins, and God knows I have committed many of those
over the years, I even went to communion. Even as I walked through the
parking lot after mass I was still unsure of what drew me here this
particular morning but I knew I felt an inner peace I hadn't felt in a
long time. Maybe there is something to this church thing after all.
I stopped for brunch before heading home. I was reading the Sunday paper
that afternoon when John, my attorney, called. He had gone over the
contracts as well as done some research on transitioning and said he
could stop by and we could talk about all of that. As I said earlier he
knew of both of my sides and we had even had a relationship several years
ago. Well maybe not a relationship as it was more of a bootie call. We
were both consenting adults neither of us ever had any issues with that.
To be totally honest he was a fantastic lover, perhaps one of the best I
ever had and God knows Beth has had her share of men. He was also a good
attorney. I checked and saw I had some cold beer in the fridge. I was not
much of a beer drinker, or should I say Beth was not a beer drinker
although her brother did enjoy a cold one. However John was and if
nothing else Beth was a good hostess.
"Looking good as always Beth," John smiled as I let him in.
"Thank you," I smiled. "Would you care for a beer?"
"I would love one," he replied.
John sat down at the dining table and spread out some papers as I got him
a beer and a frosted mug as I knew he liked. I sat down next to him at
the table and he started to explain the contracts to me. They were pretty
much as I had suspected and relatively straight forward. Yes it helped to
know there were no gotchas in either one but it didn't help my conundrum
as to which way I should go. You are on your own here Beth. He then
talked about what he had learned about transitioning. As it turns out
there were virtually no laws or regulations about it. He did tell me if I
changed my name I would have to notify a wide variety of people once I
did it but the actual act of doing it was a simple petition to the
probate court . Basically it was pay your money, wait your time, and you
can change your name to whatever you want within reason. He said he would
be happy to handle that and I told him should I elect to go that route I
would call him.
"It is good to see you again Beth," he said as he took his reading
glasses off. "I had forgotten how good you looked."
"Thanks John but in these old things?" I asked looking down at the gray
and white striped sweater and gray skirt.
"Yes those old things,' he smiled as he put his hand on my knee. "You
look great in anything."
I saw his head start to lean in and I knew what was coming next thing.
Our lips touched and I felt his tongue force its way into my mouth as his
hand started to creep up my thigh under my skirt. One kiss led to another
and the next thing I knew we were both naked and in my bed. It had been a
while for me and yes it was wonderful as it always was with him. I
slipped on one of my sexier chemise nighties and walked him to the door.
I thanked him for everything and I truly meant everything. As I watched
him walk towards his car I know this was not what I wanted long term but
a girl has needs at times. I will admit he definitely scratched my itch
in that aspect but it did nothing but add to my confusion.
Work was work as I had known it for years and I did go out of town for a
couple of days that next week so at least I was away from the politics
and antics taking place in the office. I was no closer to a decision but
Friday I did call and make an appointment for a physical. I gave Janet
the contact information for Dr. Wagner and suggested Dr. Donahue contact
him and he would fill her in on why I wanted a complete physical so soon
after my last one. She said she would see to it and I was set for two
weeks away, the earliest she cold get me in for this.
My appointment with Dr, Wagner was more of an exploration of what I
should do and although he made no attempt to sway me one way or another
he made it clear that whatever I decided I would be fine. I knew that and
to be honest I had vacillated back and forth several times. There were
nights I would go to bed sure of what to do only to wake up the next
morning unsure or worse yet ready to go the other way. The clock was
ticking onward and I was no closer to a decision than when all of this
began. I wasn't sleeping well, eating was more of a necessity when the
hunger pains set in than anything resembling pleasure. On my last trip
out of town there were a couple of times at dinner I would stare at the
menu aimlessly not caring what I ate but rather knowing I had to. To call
me an emotional wreck would have been polite. By now it was early
November and if I didn't do something soon I was going to go out of my
mind. Finally I took a week and half off, starting Wednesday and all of
the following week, as I had to get away from everything. I suppose most
would say I slept well that Tuesday night starting my vacation. In
reality it was more of collapsing out of pure physical and mental
exhaustion.
At least the bags under my eyes aren't quite as bad as they have been I
thought to myself as I did my make up that Wednesday morning. I had an
appointment this morning for not only the hair extensions but also I was
going to treat myself to a manicure and a pedicure. You have been beating
yourself up over all of this Beth and it is starting to take its toll on
you. I vowed to myself this week I am going to try not to think about
anything but relaxing. I need to take a step back and clear my mind and
get a fresh perspective. Margo commented on how I looked rough and while
I didn't go into details I told her I had some choices to make in my life
and they were not coming easy. She told me to just relax and it would
come to me when I least expected it. I told her I sure hoped so as I was
going crazy over all of it. She said not to let it ruin my life or my
health as nothing was worth that. I thanked her and even slipped her an
extra $10 over and above my usual $20 tip. I hope she is right that it
will come to me what to do. I just hope it comes soon.
I treated myself that afternoon to a good Italian meal complete with a
couple of glasses of wine and a cappuccino and tiramisu for dessert. It
was perhaps the best meal I had since I had been at Mom's. When I talked
to Mom that night she told me to come on out as I had some time. I
thanked her for the invitation but said no thanks. I was taking this time
for me and I need some time to think and just chill. I know she was
disappointed but she tried not to let on. I know where she stands on all
of this and to be honest my heart is trending that way as well but my
logical side is fighting back. I know I have to eventually make a choice
but hopefully something will come to me this week. I am not sure exactly
what it will be but I pray it is something.
This time off must be what I need I thought as I rolled over and through
my sleepy eyes saw it was almost 7:30. I haven't slept in this long in I
can't remember when. I know I hadn't been sleeping well and I am sure
that the decision facing me had something to do with that. Still there
was a calmness inside me I hadn't felt in quite a while. No I hadn't made
any decisions but I knew I would and which ever way I decided to go it
was going to be the right way. Enough laying around time to get your butt
out of bed.
At least the coffee maker hadn't shut itself off so there was a hot cup
waiting for me as I made my way into the kitchen. I poured myself a cup
before retrieving the paper from the porch and sitting down to go through
it. You have the whole week off Beth now what are you going to do with
all this time? I did have that phone interview set up by a head hunter
and you did bring some work home with you so at least today will be a
home office day.
Seeing as I was going to act like the business woman today I may as well
look the part. I decided on the navy pinstriped suit for today and set
about doing my paperwork and the like. The phone interview went well but
like the employment offer I already had as well probably any others I
could potentially get would require relocation and I am not so sure about
that. I like my place and even more importantly it was relatively close
to Mom.
Mom, how does she figure in all of this? I got to thinking about the
conversation Nancy and I had when I was out there. No not about me going
full time but rather about her mother getting older and moving in with
her and how my mother was no spring chicken either. Sure I could get a
place where she could stay with me but was it fair to ask her to pick up
and move everything just because I had to? She had her friends and a life
out there as she had been living in the same place over 20 years now. She
must like her life out there, Why else would she suggest my moving in
with her? There is more to this equation than just you Beth.
Most of my week was actually pretty mundane to be honest. I did some work
in my home office, including going over the proposal they had faxed to me
from the office. I heard back from the headhunter that had arranged the
phone interview and he said they were quite interested in me and would
like to get together early next month and talk face to face. Still that
would entail moving and in a way starting over again. Yes it is a
possibility for sure but is that what I really want? The more you think
about all of this the more confused you get at times Beth. Yes there were
times I was so sure what to do and then 15 minutes later I was back to
square one. Whether you like it or not time is marching on and the end of
the year is less than 8 weeks away and they want a decision by then. Get
it together girl!
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