Let Fate Guide You Ch 02
- 1 year ago
- 25
- 0
Let Fate Guide You free porn video
I knew I was dreaming, the fuzzy edges were proof of that. Excitement bubbled up in my chest, I was going to see HIM again. I’d been having the same dreams for months. Each one brought butterflies and a slice of paradise.
I felt strong arms around me and knew at once that they didn’t belong to my husband. The well-defined chest under my head confirmed it, a heartbeat thudded in my right ear, while a verbal chocolate poured over me. I was bathed in his masculine monologue, if I had been a cat that voice would’ve been enough to make me purr. Funny, he was right under me but it was hard to hear him, as if he was speaking to me through thick glass.
I wanted to move, to look into the blue eyes that made my breath catch in my throat. I knew they would be looking into me, that once our eyes connected my very being would tear down my protective walls, my mangled and trampled heart would be left vulnerable. I ached to see the rest of him I’d never seen more than his eyes and arms. I had felt his sturdy thighs behind me once before, I was greedy to see the rest.
He shifted beneath me, pulling my lips to his, my eyes closed and I screamed at my dream self. The frustration was clawing at my stomach it built into a wild animal thrashing around, the turmoil was too much I was surely going to be torn to pieces. One touch of his soft full lips tamed the beast. His skilled mouth moved against my novice one.
I was so embarrassed, I wasn’t worthy of such a kiss. This was the stuff of movies, reserved for the knock out leading lady. What was he doing wasting it on me?
A small groan came from his throat, I smiled and broke the kiss. My head found his chest, his hand stroked my hair. I felt so safe and protected he was my guardian angel. I never wanted to leave his side, just thinking about the possibility made my heart clench with pain…. All at once I couldn’t breathe I turned to ask for his help but he was gone. I could hear rushing water and feel pressure all over my body. Was I drowning? Where was I? Who am I? Someone please help me!!
My room was dark, I was sitting up in bed gulping for air. I shook uncontrollably, my muscles locked in place a light sheen of sweat covered my body. I remembered blue eyes, but my husband’s eyes are green, blue eyes belonging to a warm voice and strong arms, a kiss. A flash of memory blinded my mind, my heart was breaking to be back with him! A sob burst from my mouth, tears ran down my face. I felt my soul going insane from the heartache.
‘What the fuck is your problem?!’ My husband had been woken up by my sobs.
‘Nothing honey, sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep.’ I tried to suck in all my anguish and push it deep inside me.
‘If you’re going to be loud fucking go out into the living room! Fuck!’ He rolled over with an angry huff pulling the covers off of me and wrapping himself completely with them. I lost all memory of my dream. My mind was focused on comforting the grumbling pile of man beside me.
I felt awful, ‘I’m really sorry,’ my voice shook with the tears I was trying to suppress, ‘I wasn’t trying to be loud.’ I wanted to be held so badly. He wouldn’t hold me even if I begged, I had to find comfort with myself, this is how it’s always been.
‘Are you seriously still crying?! Get your ass out of my bed and go be a bitch somewhere else, I have to fucking work in the morning.’ His eyes glared at me over his pudgy shoulder, I scampered out of his bed and ducked into the hall but I still heard his next sentence, ‘Fucking worthless cow, I’ll give you something to cry about.’ I cowered from those words, it was no use, they still swam in my head like those of ten year old bullies on the playground. Worthless cow, worthless cow, worthless, worthless, worthless!
I knew where to find comfort, with a tiny bundle laying in her crib. I picked up my sweet baby girl who was barely eight months old she was small for her age, pale, bald, and she never smiled but she was beautiful and she was my happiness. I gently lifted her up and into my arms, I pressed my cheek to hers and breathed in the smell of baby lotion. A single tear rolled down my cheek as I thought of how sorry I was that I was her mother, she deserved so much better. She deserved someone beautiful, healthy, and successful I wanted her to have the best which, sadly, I wasn’t. I kissed her tiny nose and ghosted out of her room. I’d hate to wake her up too.
I made my way soundlessly to our couch, sat in the dark and mentally berated myself for being so inconsiderate.
‘Couldn’t let him sleep in peace, you ungrateful, lazy, ugly, fat ass. He could do so much better, anyone would be better than you.’ I agreed with myself, I knew how lucky I was to have a husband. Sure he talked to other girls, told them he loved them, and even hit on them in front of me but every marriage has its problems. I’m sure he’ll come around eventually.
I had to find some way to make him happy….
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I knew my dick was big but damn, this bitch wouldn’t shut up she just kept moaning and shouting as though she were in a fucking porno.
‘Oh! Andy fuck you’re huge!!!’ Her high pitched voice was annoying.
‘I know! Take it. I’m almost done.’ Watching the ceiling I tried to imagine someone else, to block out her voice. Close so close….. Throbbing, tingling, building, I imagined an hour glass figure tangled in my bed sheets, button nose pressed into my pubic hairs, full pink lips fitting snug around my shaft base, full curved ass arching against my stomach while I plunged inside a tight slick…..That did it.
I pulled out and shot hot sticky ropes all over her flat dorsal skin. Then rolling over onto my back, ‘You need a ride home?’ I growled at her.
‘No I have my car…… But I didn’t cum.’
Pouting and whining? She looks like a fucking Chihuahua, I would rather fuck a real Chihuahua.
‘Maybe next time.’
There would be a next time, there always was. I’d never found a girl worth having around after sex they wanted to cuddle, or complain, or worse talk about themselves. Such cold heartless bitches.
The only good thing about them, a warm, slick gash to fuck. They were all the same, boring, and self centered. No thank you.
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I couldn’t move my head. Lifting trembling hands to my face I held the boulder that was once my cranium. God he hit so hard. The throbbing was the worst at my temples where he had connected with the pillow. (I know it doesn’t sound like it would hurt but when some tennis shoes are tossed in it, it’s a doozy.
What had I done?
‘Are you kidding me?!!! Such a fucking pussy. I didn’t even hit you that hard!’
‘Lu that really hurt.’ Tears were pouring down my face. I tried to open my eyes to gauge how angry he was. My lids barely shifted, searing white light and a sharp pain stabbed into my eye sockets. A mangled gasp tore from my mouth.
‘Are you hurt? Do you need to go to the hospital?’ Was that a chuckle? He’s mocking me!!!
‘No I’m fine it just stings a little.’ I was lying through my teeth, I wish I was bigger than him I’d hit him, I’d watch him cower on the floor. But I was small nearly half his size. I’d leave some day….. Someday soon I hoped. How could I though? My mind was at war with itself. He’s my husband it’s not right. I need to stay and put more effort into making this work. I can’t just walk away from my marriage. I need to stay. I deserve better. What about our marriage? Who cares?
‘How am I supposed to get to the living room? You’re taking up all the god damn room! I’ll just walk over you, fat lump.’
I felt his work boot clad foot crape my back every lump of my spine caught the ridges of his boot. It burnt and stung I knew it would welt. I pressed myself into my dresser to make room for his enormous girth. Knobs pressed into my cheek, collar bone, and ribs. He h
ad room now, that didn’t stop him from crunching my fingers under his heel. They didn’t break (thank goodness) but they did swell up.
Lu wasn’t a small man at 6’3′, weighing over 300 lbs. He was an intimidating mass of fat and spiteful hate. He had dirty brown unkempt hair, scruffy face, and awful hygiene. He loved to sneer or smile overly wide when he was being an asshole (which was all the time). Cursing and making condescending remarks was his specialty. He had coarse ashy skin at all his joints and smelt of stale cigarettes. Gross! When he did wear cologne it was the cheap aerosol kind, he would spray continuously until it made his clothes damp. I choked on it at close range, the lingering sent left me nauseous for hours.
If you had met me two years earlier you would’ve met a toned athletic dancer. I had deep brown hair to offset my blue eyes, I was short at 5’4′ but my personality made me seem taller. I was smiley and friendly always finding something to laugh about. I kept myself clean and well-manicured in every definition of the word. I dabbled in tanning, a nice sun kissed glow was what I usually sported. I use to love being around people and making new friends. My High School friends always compared me to the energizer bunny, I kept going, and going, and going. I loved to stay healthy and enjoyed running in the early morning air, the crisp breeze in my face kept me energized through my whole run.
But now my husband’s negative remarks and abusive life style had taken its toll. He described me as short and pudgy, I had gained some weight after having my baby, and sometimes he likened me to the Michelin man’s ugly sister. My hair was damaged at the ends and I had lost my bubbly personality.
I no longer enjoyed being around other people I dreaded even walking down the street now. Were people looking at me and thinking I was fat and ugly too? Was I some major blemish on society’s face? Being embarrassed to even exist was the new norm. I wanted to hide myself from the prying eyes of strangers. I wanted to die.
Later that night I had to endure one of the rare occasions that happened during our marriage, sex, while far and few between it was awful. Lu usually started off by coming up behind me while I was washing dishes or cooking he’d fondle my breasts roughly, tweaking my nipples hard bringing tears to my eyes. ‘Go get naked, lay down on the bed and get yourself wet. I’ll give you five minutes.
I scurried to our room, there was no way in hell I was ever experiencing sex while dry again! It was bad enough without the added discomfort of not being lubed. Lu wasn’t big he was just a brute, slamming himself in, in one thrust then hammering in like a jack rabbit after months of celibacy.
Generally I would lie still, staring off to the side while trying very hard no to retch from the pain. On a good day I’d only have to endure ten minutes of Lu’s blobby mass humping on top of me before being sprayed with his vile cum. But on a day when Lu was high on prescriptions it could last for hours.
‘Talk dirty to me bitch.’ Oh yay he was high. ‘Tell me about your sister and Maggie.’
Ugh! I hated this part. (Maggie was our mutual friend who had also been a Bride’s maid in our wedding.
As I started to degrade myself, my sweet baby started crying from the other room. The sound made my breasts swell with milk on top of the store I already had it ached to have him mashing my chest.
‘Please let me grab her and feed her? We’ll pick where we left off as soon as we’re done.’
‘Shut up!’ Grabbing me around the throat he picked up his damaging pace, ‘She can wait, you are going to finish me now.’
Her wailing intensified, the pitiful cries had my eyes misting over. I could tell her cry was a sad one. It broke my heart not to go to her when she needed me.
‘Please?! Please Lu can’t you hear her? She’s alone and hungry. Let me soothe her. No baby should be left to cry when they’re hungry, please let me help her?’ I desperately wanted to get to my baby
‘NO!’ My airway was completely shut off. I struggled underneath him, tears spilling from the corners of my eyes. My hand came up to his, clawing to be free.
Finally after eternal seconds he let my neck go. Glorious air filled my lungs.
‘Now, talk dirty to me. Or I’ll find away to get off while you squirm under me, I like to choke you. Either way works for me.’
‘Okay.’Of course I agreed to tell him dirty stories. Whatever got him off faster.
I felt so dirty lying under my husband and telling him raunchy sex fantasies about other women, knowingly letting him get off on the thought of someone else. As if that wasn’t bad enough after pulling off the condom and spunking all over my sore mound he shoved the used rubber and it’s wrapper up inside of me.
*************************************
I had always wanted a woman in my life, a sweet and innocent lady to corrupt. Someone I could whisper dirty stories in her ear and watch her blush. I was going to find a hidden oasis in a dessert of nasty girls.
I’d never admit it to anyone else but the main reason I wanted a good girl in my life? I needed someone to lean on in the hard times, I was tired of being strong and all alone. It would be nice to come home to a woman who didn’t have her legs opened to a friend of mine, a woman I could leave alone and not worry about her getting knocked up by the mail man. Was that such a tall order? Were classy ladies so rare these days?
I’d always believed in signs, not from God per se but in love ones passed. If a nice woman could come along and gave me some sort of sign I’d be happy. I wasn’t even sure what kind of sign I wanted but I would know it when I saw it.
I said a silent prayer to my passed mother ‘Please send a woman my way, a good girl to help. I’m so lost and alone. Please, please watch over me this one last time.’ Feeling mildly choked up from the emotions I trudged on with my day to day routine. Ugh.
******************************************************
My heavy head sunk into my pillow, a boulder meeting quicksand. Eyes burning from sleep deprivation, lids forcible pulled shut as my body shut down. Weightlessness carried me away scant moments later. Rocking, spinning, dizzy, so dizzy….. Then nothing as my dream took over.
Walking down the sidewalk hand in hand listening to him speak, such a sad tone. My eyes lifted to his, wet with un-shed tears. I fought to embrace him, hoping for the chance to comfort him, a stern conscience demanding control and denying the romantic gesture. My hands did rebel, though not as much as they wanted to, giving his left bicep a reassuring squeeze. While my vision returned downwards studying our clasped hands, his clinging to mine in silent plea. ‘Don’t leave me alone’.
My brow furrowed in confusion.
Why was he so upset! Had I done something?
Of course not! I would never hurt this gorgeous man!
But what was wrong?
His large hand lifted my chin, bringing my gaze back up with it. His tentative, failed smile broke my heart. The sound of it shattering was background noise to his deep tenor voice.
‘Thank you.’ Two words shocking my system, I’d FINALLY heard his voice! His actual voice, as clear as day. No wall and no muffle just beauty.
‘For what?’ My soft, fragile voice whispered and inquiry back.
‘For this,’ he presented our braided appendages,’ I needed this.’
‘Oh! Of course. I’m glad I could help.’
I felt Lu’s over stuffed body roll out of bed. His clumsy movements screamed in my ears, intruding my dream and drowning out whatever gorgeous was going to say next. My conscious mind tried to grasp on to the dream, hold on to it through the semi alert moment. Searching for my dream man I wanted to stay with him, the feeling of security and content. Sadly the strain was in vain, I was ripped from my dream by Lu slamming drawers and finally the front door.
Te
ars fell from my eyes in torrents, how could my heart ache for a man I didn’t even know? Limbs shaking, stomach rolling with nausea I missed him. Mentally I was disgusted he wasn’t my husband but I yearned for him like I never had yearned for Lu. Unbearable pain raked through my core, not physical pain but a deep aching as if my soul was crying out for my gorgeous man.
I’d never believed in soul mates but suddenly…I wondered if this man could be mine. If he was, was he hurting like I was now? It would be selfish of me to let him suffer too. I needed it to end. Silently I prayed. ‘God, if the man I dream about is my soul mate and if he’s hurting like I am now…..’ I felt my heart shatter. ‘Let him forget me. Let me forget him. Please, please take away my dreams. I can’t stand dreaming of him and waking up to Lu. Make it stop.’
Crumbled on the dingy floor I cried, I cried until my eyes burnt, my stomach muscles a cramped from breathing so hard, and my head pounded from the emotional stress. I’d rather find my dream man, I’d rather be with him and feel real happiness again. I was too weak to leave Lu, too cowardly to go after true happiness.
********************************************
My body played sprawled across my bed. At 6’2′ I ate all of the space up with my broad frame. Sleep still clouded my mind, I turned onto my back I stretched my built arms over my head, chiseled thighs did the same on the opposite end of my body.
I heard padded feet enter my room. My five year old daughter was back from her mom’s house. Rose was everything to me, her mother on the other hand was a whore. That dirty woman could rot in hell for all I cared. After coming home to her legs wrapped around another man’s back I’d lost all tender feelings for the female gender, all but my precious Rose.
‘Daddy?’ Rose’s quiet whisper had me waking up faster.
‘Hmmm?’ I barely grumbled out.
‘Ummm… Can I maybe watch Sponge Bob? Please?!!’
‘Of course baby.’
‘Can I have cereal too? It’s Saturday so I can have it right?’
‘Mmmhmm, do you need help getting it?’
‘Nope! I got it!’ She was already halfway down the hall by the time she answered.
Such a sweet girl. I’d given up everything for her. I would always sacrifice so she could have a better life. Already I’d been a single dad for three years, sole custody was entrusted to me after I found her mom doing heavy drugs. She only had visitation when someone was there to watch her like a hawk, which wasn’t often.
Deep down I had a nagging urge of trying to find someone new, a better woman who could be a decent mother. Never again! Loneliness is an easy price to pay to avoid the pain of betrayal.
************************************
I could’ve cried I was so happy, my body wasn’t registering that command I was in shock.
Lu had asked for a divorce. While overly relieved/ecstatic inside, I was also furious, what gave him the right? I’d given him everything he ever asked for and more, I’d treated him with more respect than he deserved, and I’d been devoted to being a perfect wife for him. Yet here he is having the audacity to say HE’S unhappy!!!!??? HE’S tired of fighting? HE’S sick of feeling like nothing is working??? What the fuck!?
‘I can’t take it anymore, you made me move away from my family, and we got married so young because you wanted to….’ (Bullshit)’and I miss being able to party. All the baby does is cry and I don’t want to be a dad anymore or a husband. I just want to be me. You should thank me I’m only doing this for your happiness. I’m always thinking of you in the end,’ Lu was still whining? I didn’t care I was making a mental list of everything to pack: make sure to call the family, leave all the wedding memorabilia, and find a place to stay, leave the wedding ring, and contact a lawyer.
My mind was going on and on, battling if this was the right thing to do, always pitting leaving against not leaving. What about never wanting to get a divorce? He is a douche! I owe it to our daughter. You deserve better. I’m failing my marriage. It’s the right thing to do. Is it?
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