MAU: The Other Side Of The Fence - Part 3 free porn video

MAU: Morphic Adaption Unit The Other Side of the Fence Part Three By Mr. 20 Inch Biceps Prologue I'm sorry part two ended so abruptly. I had to go out and buy another journal. To recap: I'm really a woman; but you wouldn't guess it by looking at me! I'm now a very handsome male bodybuilder named Justin. I'm six four, I weigh two hundred and forty three pounds, and am very muscular. I've been this way for a year and a half now; both I and Jack have been. Jack, he's my best friend and I don't know what I would have done without him! Saturday September 9th, 2006 I can't believe it! Jack's bodybuilding contest is only a week away! I haven't written in this journal for quite some time. I just haven't felt like it. Joy and I converse on the telephone regularly and she tells me her family is very excited for her and I. I have met her parents; but only on the telephone. Meeting people that way can be so damn awkward; especially in-laws to be! And yes, I'm back to being a celibate man again! What a fucking drag! I miss my Joy and I miss having sex with her; but enough already about all that. Like I said, Jack's contest is only a week away. And I spent a better part of the evening tonight critiquing Jack's body as he stood in our living room wearing his black posing trunks. He looked great! Tweaking his body the little bit that he did made an immense difference. He was now striated and cut beyond belief! He looked like he had been lifting weights his entire life and not just the past year or so since we became guys! He now weighed an astonishing two hundred and forty seven pounds. I wasn't envious of his body at all; mine was nearly as ripped as his; but I hadn't followed the strict diet that Jack had all summer long. I managed to gain three pounds of muscle compared to Jacks five. I weighed in at work this morning at two hundred and forty four pounds. I actually lost a little weight after Joy went back to Chicago! So, yes, Jack only weighed a couple of more pounds than I did; but he looked like he weighed more! "You look great, Jack!" I said, as I watched him move about posing in our living room. "Thanks, Bro!" he replied. I wasn't too crazy about the music he was playing on our stereo. It just didn't seem to fit. "So, do you think I could win, Bro?" he finally asked me as he shot both of his arms up and did a double biceps pose for me. I looked at his guns as he stood there in our living room. They were only just a little bit bigger than my own. "Are you kidding me, Bro!?" I exclaimed. "If you don't win you will surely place!" I added. "Thanks, Bro!" he said, "I needed to hear that. I'm still not too sure about all of this..." "Jack," I said, "If you don't want to do this you don't have to!" Indeed, why put yourself through all of this if you're not sure why? Jack shrugged his glistening shoulders and looked at me. We'd discussed his competing many times before and he'd always seemed to be rather adamant about it. His remark somewhat surprised me. "I guess I need to do this," he said, as he pointed to his temple "to make all that is in here- real." Now I finally understood what he meant. It wasn't enough for him to have a real man's body; he had to make what was inside match his external reality. Or was that the other way around? I think you get what I mean though... "I get it, Bro!" And I did. "But don't you think this heavy metal music is a bit too much?" I asked him. "It's what they play at a lot of the shows," he explained. "There's nothing fluid about it," I remarked. Granted it was high energy; but presentation is everything! "Have you ever heard 'Portland Oregon' by Loretta Lynn and Jack White?" I asked as he flexed his quads. Jack rolled his eyes at me. "Are you serious?" he said with a tone of disgust in his voice. "You want me to pose to a piece of country and western music?" "You haven't heard it; have you?" I asked. "No, I haven't," he admitted. "I'll be right back!" I said, as I quickly sped my way to my room. 'Van Lear Rose' was produced by White Stripe's Jack White and 'Portland Oregon' is their Grammy winning duet on the CD. It's a great song about a drunken one night stand; but what's really fucking great about it is that it features someone playing the peddle steel guitar like it has never been played before! In fact, considering that its Jack White it may sound somewhat tame to some. I returned to our living room with the CD and put it into our player. Jack just stood and looked at me skeptically. I smiled sheepishly as I pushed play. "Just wait!" I told him as the first piercing notes cut through the air in our living room. I watched Jack for a few moments as he eventually got sucked in by the music. "This instrumental intro goes for almost two full minutes, Jack," I explained as we both continued to listen. He nodded his head as his eyes had that inward stare look to them. He looked at me suddenly. "Start it over!" he shouted. "Sure" I said, and pushed the back button on our CD player. The music started over again; only this time Jack started to pose along with the music trying to get in tune with the momentum of the music. He was quite clumsy at first; but momentarily he began to pose with each chord change of the music. "Yeah!" I said, "Fucking great!" I added as Jack spread his lats of his back for me. I couldn't believe what I was seeing! His back was fucking unbelievable! And what made it even more so was the very distinct possibility that my own back looked just like his! 'Maybe I should have entered the competition too' I thought for a moment. It would be great for the show to have two brothers in the same category to compete! But I didn't dare- this was Jack's show; not mine! Jack stopped posing when the song ended. He was obviously worn out. Posing in a contest was the most strenuous part of the entire competition. And it showed on Jack; he was sweating all over. "Perhaps you have something there, Bro!" he said. "But, do you think we could fade it out just before the lyrics kick in? It would make for a much better piece of presentation music" he explained. "I don't see why not," I replied. "Thanks, Bro. I owe you one" I looked at him breathing heavy as he stood in front of me; sweating. "You don't owe me anything, asshole!" I said, playfully. "You just have to win!" I added. "I'm gonna try, Bro, I'm gonna try!" he said, as I watched him pad his way to the bathroom to take a shower. Saturday September 16th 2006 Today was Jack's big day! I took the day off of work to be with him at the theater where the show was being held. To the outsider I'm sure that it would be hard to believe that it was my first bodybuilding show ever when you took into account the way that I looked! I fit right in with the rest of them. I helped Jack oil up back stage and took a seat out front while the judges looked at each contestant in numerical order. Jack was number thirty six out of almost one hundred contestants. The prize for winning first place was one thousand dollars. And the winner would be featured on television on ESPN. Not bad for the new Mr. New York City contest's overall winner. I looked at Jack on the stage. His body was quite developed next to some of the other competitors. He looked muscularly mature; and well proportioned. I was proud of him I realized as I sat there looking at him onstage. He was my brother; and I wanted him to win! Saturday September 16th 2006 Lunchtime I joined Jack for lunch. He was quite nervous and hyper. "I think you'll win, Bro!" I said, excitedly. Jack nodded his head as he drank some water. He wanted to get his vascularity up before the final judging. He looked even bigger to me as he sat across the table from me in his sweatshirt and pants. "So," I said, "what's it feel like to be up there on that stage?" Jack looked at me for a moment in silence and then smiled quickly. "It's a rush, Justin. You should try it," he said. I looked at him for a moment and thought about what I had seen him go through in the last several months: The pounding of the weights, the aerobic exercises, the dieting, and the careful attention paid to the balance of rest, diet, and muscle exertion. It was a definite lifestyle that held little interest for me. Not to mention how ridiculous I thought it was; all those men up there in little more than a thong strutting about the stage trying to best each other. And with my oversized package between my legs? No. When it came right down to it the one thing that I realized about the whole bodybuilding competition thing is that it's very subjective. It's not really about who's been lifting the longest or who has the biggest arms or chest; it's about two things: the builder's overall look and what the judges are looking for, which is what they like! Get that? So it's pretty much a crap shoot unless you're talking about the big league; men like Arnold, who have taken the big trophies in the past and can pretty much do it again and again. Jack thank god, didn't have anyone like Arnold to beat in this competition; so he had a fairly good chance of winning. I looked at his sweatshirt as it strained to contain his bulging biceps as he drank his water. I wondered if he would want to compete again whether he won tonight or not. "I'll think about it, Bro," I said, as I looked at my watch. "It's almost time to be getting back," I said. Jack nodded and game me a long look. "What?" I said, not quite sure if I had food on my face or not. "Justin," he said, "whatever happens tonight I want you to know that I really appreciate all your support. It really means a lot to me." I shrugged my shoulders. "You're my brother, you idiot!" I teased. "What else was I supposed to do? I love you, you know?" Jack's eyes teared up and for a moment I thought he just might let loose. My eyes darted about the food court; nobody was paying us any attention at all. "Oh, don't worry! I'm not going to go and get all emotional on you!" he said, as he wiped his eyes with the brush of a thick forearm. "Hey!" I said, "Anything goes at home! You know that!" "You just don't know what you'd do with a slobbering two hundred and forty seven pound muscle head right here in the food court; do ya?" he said facetiously. My manly cheeks blushed. "I'd have to leave you here!" I replied, "I have my masculinity to protect" I added with a smile. That was one thing about Jack and I; even as women we could always give each other the shit right back! We both laughed aloud and people did notice that! "We better get back" he said, "I have to oil up again backstage." "Yes master, whatever you say, master!" Jack rolled his eyes. "That's right!" he said. "And when I win I will be the master!" Saturday Evening September 16th the Contest I sat out in the audience with Claudia. I was nervous for Jack. I knew this meant a lot to him and I didn't want to see him lose. Claudia was nervous too, although she was allowed to show it more than I was. I myself have also run out of excuses and or reasons for not being up on stage myself. Why you ask? It's not me. It's the people around me. They notice me and wonder if I've already been eliminated from the event; and when I tell them 'no, I'm not competing' they ask me why. I embarrassingly tell them this is my brother's show and not mine. 'Cool' one eager fan said to me as he left and found his seat. But to be honest there were a lot of novice bodybuilders in the audience; I have never seen so many in one place! There were also a lot of screaming women who cheered for their men when it was his turn to pose. Jack made it through to the finals of course and that is what we watched tonight. Out of nearly one hundred men to begin with the judges whittled it down to just ten from all classes. Did I tell you Jack won his division? Yeah, he won heavyweight by a mere six points. It was close! The other men on stage in his class were big too; just not as defined as my brother. Claudia wiped away tears as we cheered and clapped when he was awarded his trophy. I've never seen Jack quite so happy. I wished that Joy had been here to see him win. Did I just spoil it for you? Yes, my brother Jack won Mr. New York City! His posing routine was imaginative when he was up there with all the others at the same time flexing every muscle in their bodies. Jack Kalev Gray won the heavyweight title and the overall title of most muscular "Mr. New York City"! I felt like a fifth wheel however when I joined Claudia and Jack after the competition to celebrate. I really missed Joy at the point; and I'm afraid it showed. "Cheer up, Bro!" Jack said as he lifted his beer up from the table. I smiled at him and looked at his trophies on the table in front of us. "Congratulations!" I said, "I'm proud of you, Brother." I lifted my glass of beer up to join his and Claudia's. We left the place at one a.m. I'm not too sure anymore just how many beers I had but I didn't care; I was happy for Jack! And I missed Joy! I'm afraid I did the one hand dance in my bedroom last night; man it sure sucks to be alone and in such need! Of course it didn't' help me one bit to hear Claudia and Jack carrying on in his bedroom. The sounds of their rambunctious lovemaking only brought home my own desperate carnal desires. Like I said, it sucks! After I was done answering to my little head I rolled over and went to sleep. Wednesday September 20th 2006 I must have waited an hour to be seen at Travis Model Agency. I was nervous as all beat hell; but I finally got in to see a woman named Elaine Harris. My interview with her was my first hoop to jump through to get hired as a model - of any type. She was an attractive woman of middle age; although she didn't show it. She had dark hair and blue eyes that looked right through me when I walked into her office. She wore a stylish blue business suit with a white blouse. I myself splurged on a casual dress outfit for the interview; I bought a nice black suit that I had to have tailored (of course) and a teal blue dress shirt. I wore the shirt open at my chest; and with what has now become acceptably sheik, I left it untucked and unbuttoned at the cuffs. I suppose some might think my attire somewhat safe; but I was not a flamboyant man; and never would be. I was glad that my black loafers added little to my height. Ms. Harris is a petite woman and I towered over her. Her mouth fell open when she looked up from her desk at me as I entered her office. "Mr. Gray, welcome!" she said, as she stood up to shake my hand. I shook her tiny hand and said thank you. She motioned for me to have a seat in a comfortable chair in front of her desk. "Please, have a seat," she said. I folded myself up and made myself comfortable in her chair. "Renee' told me you were a looker; but she didn't tell me how incredibly handsome you are!" she remarked as she sat back down in her chair. "Thank you," I replied rather nervously. "And it is rare to find such an attractive man with your other obvious assets" she said, as her eyes traveled over my body. For the first time since I became a man I felt like a piece of meat. The kicker was that as the flat chested Justine I'd never really been bothered by the men like some of the other women I had known in my past life. Feeling like a piece of meat was a new feeling; and I wasn't at all sure I liked it. "Don't be embarrassed, Mr. Gray," she instructed, "If you're going to be a model you have to toughen that skin of yours." I nodded. "Have you ever done any modeling before?" she asked me. "No, I haven't," I said, I wasn't at all sure if that was a good thing or not. "Great! We have a fresh! Please, turn to the right. I'd like to see your profile," she explained. I did as she asked and held my face there. "Yes, nice cheekbones, a square jaw, and your mouth is natural?" I turned quickly with wide eyes. "Don't be so shocked, Mr. Gray. I see it all the time; collagen is not only for women!" "I see," I said, "but to answer your question, yes it's all mine!" "Please, stand up and remove your jacket and shirt for me please." I definitely knew that I didn't like feeling like a piece of meat. I stood up and removed my jacket and put it on the chair. I paused a moment before I started to unbutton my shirt. It felt so strange to be examined like this. I can not begin to describe it. I pulled off my shirt and stood before her in just my belted suit pants. Her eyes went big when she finally got a good look at my torso. "I can see that you have spent a lot of time in the gym, Mr. Gray," she said, as her eyes looked me over like a slab of hanging beef. She got up from her chair and walked around her desk. "Stand still, please," she instructed. I took a deep breath and nodded. Harris gasped. Inwardly I smiled, the woman obviously like big men. "How do you feel about dying your hair black?" she asked. "We don't get too many calls for blondes, and to tell you the truth we have enough of them." I thought about it for all of two seconds. If it would get me to Chicago to see Joy and her family for Christmas I was all for it! I shrugged my wide, bare shoulders. "That'd be fine, I suppose," I said. "Great! I'll set you up with one of my finest hairstylists in Manhattan. And don't worry about it; it's on the company!" I nodded. "Is it all right if I put my clothes back on?" She looked me over from where she stood and nodded. "Do you have a lawyer?" "No, but I can get one," I replied. "Fine," she said, "call me with his name and number and I'll have our standard contract sent to him for your approval." "Thank you," I said, as I finished pulling on my jacket. Being half naked in a strange woman's office was right up there with that first walk on the beaches of the Bahamas wearing only a Speedo! Ms. Harris stuck out her hand for me to shake. I bowed and shook her hand. "It was very nice to meet you," I said, "and thanks again. I'll be in touch." "No, the pleasure was all mine!" she replied, as she handed me one of her business cards. 'I'm sure it was' I thought, as I smiled broadly, took her card, and left her office. So, that's how I got hired by the Travis Modeling Agency. It is one of the agencies in Manhattan with the best reputation Renee' told me; and after meeting Ms. Harris, I believe her. "So they took one look at you and hired you? Just like that!" Jack asked. I nodded. "Yeah, pretty much just like that," I replied. "And they want you to dye your hair black?" I nodded again as I sat there at our kitchen table with him. "Are you really gonna do this?" he asked me. "Yeah," I said, "what about it?" "Nothing," he said, as he looked me in the eye. "It just seems like, well, remember Mr. Centerfold?" My brow furrowed for a moment until I remembered the devastatingly handsome man that Gloria had first become that fateful night using the machine. "Yeah," I said, "what about him?" Jack looked at me for a moment in silence. "Remember what you said to me about him?" Are you kidding I thought! With all that has happened since we became men and he asks me if I remember one thing that I said to him? "No, sorry," I said, "I don't." "You were concerned about my, err, I mean his being somewhat famous; remember?" "Only because you were impersonating him!" I reminded him. Jack smiled and chuckled briefly. "I understand that," he said, "what I'm trying to tell you - I mean ask you, is this: Are you sure you're going to like being recognized on the street?" I looked at him in silence and then I diverted my eyes. I wasn't too sure Jack didn't have a point. We don't always appreciate what we have until it's gone. And did exposure as a professional model and becoming somewhat of a public person mean trouble for me? I wasn't really a man after all; remember? Yes, I have legal status as Justin Michael Gray; but socially I was sure I was stunted as a male. "I guess I have something to think about, Jack," I said. "Thanks for having my back." Jack shrugged his huge shoulders that were still clad in his work tee shirt. I looked at our logo for 'J & J' training on his chest. 'What about my regular job?' I thought. I forgot to ask Ms. Harris about that. I had no idea about the hours, or pay for that matter. "To be completely honest with you Bro, I don't have all the pieces of the puzzle yet to make any kind of decision. I have to find a lawyer first so that she can send me a standard contract for me to examine" I explained. "I see," he said, pausing in thought, "tomorrow I'll call up one of my clients. He's a lawyer in midtown; he'll know who to call." "Thanks," I said, "that would be a big help." "Sure," he said, as he got up from the table, "anything for my brother." I smiled at his remark. We really have become brothers in every sense of the word. And soon I would look even more like him with my bottled black hair. Thursday September 28th 2006 I was surprised to learn all the details when the contract with Travis Modeling finally arrived at my lawyer's office. Jack's client referred me to a nice woman in midtown who had experience with Travis' contracts in the past. She was a mousy little woman with sandy brown hair and glasses did little for her looks. She wore a rather drab brown business suit that screamed 'makeover needed ASAP! Her hair was cut in a page cut that only accented her severe aura. "Mr. Gray it is so very nice to meet you," she said as I shook her hand in her office. "Likewise," I said, "may I ask; have you had a chance to look over the contract yet?" She shook her head. "I don't really have to," she explained. "I've done so many that I can read it all to you in my sleep!" "Oh," I exclaimed, "I see." "Have a seat," she said, as she walked over to her desk chair and sat down behind her big oak desk. I wondered two things about it: How heavy was it? And how much did it cost? Before I finished making myself comfortable in her chair she started talking. "The standard contracts for Travis Agency are fairly straightforward," she explained. "There's nothing really all that difficult to explain: You have to be available when they call and they try to give you as much notice as possible. They realize you still are working most likely at a real job somewhere. Nice of them; isn't it?" she stopped speaking and gave me a look out of the corner of her eye. "I suppose so," I said. "You're green aren't you?" she asked finally. I nodded. "Fraid so," I said with an awkward smile on my face. "Well, all right, I will endeavor to explain some of the other finer details for you then." "I'd appreciate that, ma'am," I replied. "Please, don't call me ma'am," she instructed in a terse tone. "There's nothing I dislike more than being called ma'am! It makes me feel old!" "I'm sorry," I said, dismayed that I had managed to piss the woman off in the first five minutes of our relationship. "It's all right, Mr. Gray. Please call me Gloria." I smiled. I had always liked the name Gloria for an obvious reason; and I thought it a good sign when Jack's client told us her name. "All right, Gloria. I'm Justin," I said, relieved that the damage I thought I'd done was only in my head. "Now, this contract states that they will try to employ you as much as possible; and that you are the sole proprietary property of Travis Modeling Agency. This is nothing to get concerned about; should you get 'hot' as they call it and other agencies beckon you agent will know what to tell them." "Agent?" I said, mostly to myself, but unfortunately I spoke aloud. "Yes, Justin, if you are truly serious about modeling or even maybe acting some day you must have an agent," she advised me. "Acting?" I said, "All I thought I'd be doing is posing for a few pictures; maybe with some beautiful woman," I shrugged as I said the last; this was fast mushrooming into something I hadn't really thought about at all. But thankfully I hadn't signed anything at all yet. I still had time to think about it. Gloria nodded her head. "Yes," she said, "some of Travis' models have gone on to be actors and actresses. Confidentiality agreements prohibit me from disclosing who they are; but I'm sure you'd make a fine action hero for the big screen someday!" she added. I fidgeted in my chair. 'An action hero? Me?' I thought. "The powers that be are always looking for the next big whatever," she explained, "And Arnold what's his name isn't getting any younger!" Now I know I turned a nice shade of beet red when she said this; but thankfully she never looked up from my contract. Imagine me, the former Justine Marie Gray, replacing Arnold what's his name as an action hero on the silver screen?! I looked down at my chest. I wore the exact same outfit that I wore to meet Ms. Harris at her office. My chest was nicely exposed as I sat there in Gloria's office. 'Life most certainly had taken some drastic turns for both Jack and I; but an action hero? 'Wait until Jack hears about this!' I thought. "As for pay," she stated, "it is based on the job and a portion of each job's funds goes to the agency: The standard is twenty percent I'm afraid." "Is that negotiable?" I asked. "Not at this time, I'm afraid. Later perhaps should you grow in demand," she explained. "I have renegotiated contracts for my clients when things change for them. Nothing is written in stone, Justin." She looked at me from above her glasses as her head remained tilted down towards the contract. "I suspect," she said, "that you will go far; if my past experience is any kind of indicator?" "Really?" I said, somewhat skeptically. Gloria took her glasses off and dropped them onto her desktop. "Who are we kidding, Justin? You're gorgeous!" I blushed and looked quickly out her office window. Even as Justin I was still easily embarrassed. She had given me plenty more to think about than Jack had. "Gloria," I said, "I have to think about this some more. Do you mind if I come back at a later time?" Gloria leaned back in her chair and eyed me cautiously. "Certainly not, take all the time you need; however just keep it in mind that Travis is waiting." "I understand," I said, as I stood up to leave. I shook her hand over her desktop. "Thank you," I said, "I'll be in touch very soon." I turned and left her office. The truth of the matter was I really wanted to not only think about it some more; but I wanted to talk to Joy about it and see how she felt about it. I felt I had to if we were to be married eventually. Gloria certainly overwhelmed me to say the least! I decided to stop by work first and let Jack know he was living with the next Arnold what's his name! I walked into the gym wearing my five hundred dollar black suit with the teal shirt. As I walked past the front desk one of the girls I work with whistled. 'So that's what it took for me to get whistled at! I had to turn myself into a drop dead gorgeous muscle head. As pathetic as it is to say; I had never been whistled at as Justine. But as I looked into the mirrors of the gym I couldn't help but admit I did cut a striking figure dressed in my suit. I looked for Jack on the gym floor and I didn't see him. I found him in our office just off the gym floor. I strutted in and stopped in front of his desk. Jack looked up from his desktop. "Well, look at you all suave and debonair! What did the lady tell you Bro?" he asked as he reclined back in his chair. I didn't answer him right away. I was still savoring the moment. "What," he said, "something wrong?" I shook my head. "Oh, no," I said, "the lawyer just seemed to think I could go far in the business." "Really..." Jack said, somewhat surprised. "Yep, she said she'd seen others like me; other clients of hers that have gone on to be big stars," I explained. Jack sat up and gave me a startled look. I could see the wheels turning. "She also told me, and I quote:' you're gorgeous, and you could very well end up replacing Arnold what's his name as the next action hero!" Can you imagine that?! Me an action hero in the movies?" Jack's angular jaw hit the floor. "Oh, and they want me to sign a contract ASAP!" I explained. Jack just sat in his chair with his mouth agape. "Well, say something Jack!" I said. "I'll be a son of a bitch!" he exclaimed. "Well, neither one of us is technically, but I get your drift Bro," I said with a smirk on my face. Jack stood up and walked around his desk towards me. He gave me a big hug and patted me on the back with a huge hand. "Are you gonna do it?" he asked me as he let me out of his bear like embrace. "I don't know," I said. "I told the lawyer I wanted to think about it some more. She sort of overwhelmed me with all the talk of movie stardom and all! It made me want to talk to Joy to see what she thinks" I told him. Jack nodded his head and beamed at me. "My little Bro, a movie star!" I pushed him away from me with a quick swipe of my right hand. "Only by about thirty seconds!" I reminded him. "Yeah, but it's still thirty seconds little brother! And if you're not careful; big star or no, I'll still kick your ass!" I looked at Jack standing there in front of me in our office. His gym tee shirt stretched to the max as usual. 'He probably could' I thought, as I looked at his pipes. My 'big brother' the professional bodybuilder and contest winner has a little more muscle on me now. "Thanks, Jack!" I said, "I know I can always count on you to have my back." He broke out in a big hearty laugh. "You're my brother, you idiot!" he said, "And I love you very much!" I laughed and smiled at him. Where had I heard those very same words before? I called Joy in Chicago as soon as I got back home. It was still office hours for her; so I called her at work. "Hi," I said, "you got a minute?" "I've always got time for you, 'Muscles'," she replied. "What's up?" I didn't really see any point in being subtle. "How would you feel about being married to the next movie action hero?" I said. "What," she said, "I'm afraid I don't understand your question, Honey?" I paused a moment. I didn't really know any other way to ask the question. "Just what I asked; how would you feel if you were married to Arnold what's his name?" "Is this some kind of joke, 'Muscles'?" she asked, her voice full of uncertainty. "No, it's no joke; it's just a question," I explained. "Well, what kind of question is that anyway?" she remarked. "I suppose it's sort of like what's your favorite book, CD and food would you like to have on a desert island?" "I see, so you bothered me at work for some fantasy situation?" I gulped. I really didn't think it would be that big of a deal to ring her at work and ask her what she thought of being married to someone famous. I finally found my mouth and got it to work again. "Honey, it's not a fantasy question, it's for real," I explained. I think she may have dropped the telephone she was using because I heard a loud clanking and then nothing when I said, "Hello?" It was a moment before I heard her back on the line. "Justin Michael Gray," she said, "just what the hell is going on?" "I finally went and interviewed with Travis Modeling like I told you I was going to," I explained. "Yeah, so what does that have to do with your question?" "The lawyer I met with has warned me. She seems to think that I will go far in the business; hence my 'movie star' question." There was an awkward pause on the line that seemed to go on forever. "Honey," I said, "you still there?" "Yes," she said, "I am." I really didn't know what to say or think at the moment so I said, "You want to think about this before you give me an answer? This affects your life too, Sweetheart." "You can bet your scrawny little ass it does!" she replied. I laughed at her description and asked her if she wanted to call me back. "No," she said, "that's OK." And for a minute my heart caught in my throat. Did she mean that as 'no, because I don't want to be married to someone famous' or - or what? "Well..." I said. "'Muscles'," she said, "I think it would be kind of cool to be married to a hot body like yours; no matter if you were famous or not!" "Really?" I said, greatly relieved. "Sure," she said, "sounds rather exciting; don't you think so?" "I suppose so" I said, "but I haven't given it much thought. This just happened a few hours ago!" I explained. "Sometimes you don't miss what you have until it's gone." "Meaning your privacy?" she asked. I sighed and said, "Well, yeah, there's that." "I say, go for it Honey! You can always drop out of sight if you find you don't like it being in the public eye." Now that much was true. I could always pack it in and her and I could retire someplace warm and open up a gym or bed and breakfast. I felt much better with her blessing going forward with such life changing plans. "That's true, Honey! Thank you for reminding me of that! I can always quit if we find we don't like it," I said. "Thanks for including me in your decision making process, 'Muscles'. It means a lot to me." I gasped. "Are you kidding?" I said, "You're my fianc?e! I would be so out of line not to discuss this with you!" "I love you," she said. "I love you too." "Call me and let me know how it all turns out tomorrow; OK?" she said. "You know I will." "I gotta go, 'Muscles'" she said, "I'll talk to you tomorrow" She hung up the phone so fast it startled me. "Bye," I said as I hung up the phone. I called my lawyer and signed the contract. Sunday October 1st 2006 I can hardly wait for Jack to home from work; my hair is jet black! My eyes really pop against my tanned skin and my new black hair. I have to admit that I have to finish the job myself. What do I mean? Uh, hem, don't you think the trim on the house should match the trim of the garage? I realized this on the way home from Manhattan on the subway. The hair on my roof doesn't match the hair on the furnace; if you know what I mean? I know some men can get hung up on 'the real blonde' thing; because truthfully it's difficult to really tell the difference these days. But I refuse to be a man with a black top and a yellow meadow around his kick stand; yuck, talk about your bad aesthetics. 'I definitely have to change this' I thought as I looked at my naked self in the bathroom mirror. I put my jeans back on and zipped them up. I felt better now that I was covered up down there; I'd long since got over the hang up about being naked on top. I grabbed a handful of pectoral muscle and squeezed it. The muscle felt great in my large male hand. I kneaded my chest muscles and rolled my shoulders; I was somewhat stiff from this morning's workout; but I felt great! I looked at my reflection in the mirror; the black hair was a dramatic change. 'Dramatic change?' I can't believe that I just wrote that! Jesus! I have a dick now and forever! How does a simple dye job to my hair trump that?! Or am I just so used to being a guy now that I'm starting to forget; forget that I was ever a woman? I looked down at my intimidating chest; I bounce my pecs as I watch in the mirror. It sometimes still fascinates me that I can make them move like that. I heard our apartment door close. Jack was home. I smiled at myself in the mirror; it was show time! "Justin," I heard him call, "are you home?" "I'm in the bathroom, Jack," I shouted. "Come here a minute would ya'?" I wanted the two of us to stand side by side at the bathroom vanity to see how we both looked now with black hair. I looked at my face in the mirror; I liked what I saw. "Yeah," I heard as he turned into the bathroom doorway. I turned my head and gave him my best male model pose I could think of with my naked chest and broad shoulders on full display. "Holy shit, Dude!" he exclaimed. "What a fucking difference!" I laughed. "I think so too!" I said, as he walked into the bathroom and stared at my hair. "So, what do you think? You like it?" "Yeah," I said, "I do." "I think you look much more sexy, Bro!" I blushed about five different shades of red and pulled him next to me. "Stand right here next to me," I said, "I want to see what we look like side by side." Of course Jack had just a few pounds on me and he has started to grow his mustache back; but with us both with dark hair standing side by side we looked even more like brothers! My face had a more angular jaw and higher cheek bones than Jack's; but Jack's face had ruggedness that just seem to tell everyone that he was my big brother. I just couldn't explain it any better than that. He just has that certain something; an invisible mark that pegged him for my big brother. "Shit, Bro," he said, "this really kicks ass! I like it! I like it a lot!" I smiled and nodded. "Except for one thing," I said. Jack's brow furrowed as I looked at his reflection in the mirror. "What's that?" he asked, as he turned to look me in the eyes. "This!" I said, as I unbuttoned my jeans and yanked them down with my BVD's. Jack looked at the yellow meadow around my pecker and burst out laughing. I swear I've never seen Jack, my brother, a grown man, laugh until he cried. You have to admit it was kind of funny; me standing there completely naked with my drawers dropped down to my ankles and my hand pointing at the yellow grass growing between my legs! "I guess I better finish the job; don't you think?" I asked him as he continued to laugh hysterically. Jack nodded and said, "Yeszzz," through falling tears. So that's what I did. I buttoned up my jeans and went to the nearest drug store. And what a mess! Have you ever tried to dye your carpet down there; whether you're a man or a woman? As a woman I'd never had reason to, I kept my bush trimmed nice and tidy for the summer when I wanted to wear a bikini; but now as a pecker toting male who shaved his body hair regularly in keeping with his bodybuilding image I felt just a little bit strange! My penis kept getting in the way! I finally gave up trying not to immerse my entire unit in dye and just painted the whole damn thing with dye. Besides, I thought it best; I couldn't have black pubic hair and then have blonde hairs growing from my nut sack now could I? And yes it did seem to burn just a little bit too much for my own comfort. I knew I was in the bathroom too long when Jack pounded on the door and said he need to use the head. It was time for him to go to bed I realized when I looked at my watch. I wasn't really ready to leave the bathroom just yet; the damn dye wasn't quite so easily removed from such a flaccid and sensitive area I found. I grabbed my robe and put it on. "Be right out!" I said. I took a breath and looked at my new reflection in the mirror. A dark haired, handsome stud looked back at me. I smiled. I really liked what I saw! I opened the door and laid eyes on Jack who was standing out in the hall. "Bout time!" he complained. "My damn bladder is about to explode!" he said as he pushed past me to the toilet. The one thing about Jack I could always count on was business first! "So, how did it turn out?" he asked, as he started a piss stream into the toilet bowl. "I dunno," I said, "I think I might have fucked it up." Jack started to laugh while still holding onto his trouser snake. "How's that?" he asked. "Look!" I said, as I undid my robe and exposed my poor workmanship. Jack turned his head and his mouth fell open. "Dude, that's the biggest, blackest penis I have ever seen! Too bad it's on a white man!" he cracked, as he continued pissing. "Fuck you!" I said, "Don't you think I know that?" Jesus, he could really make me mad sometimes! I closed up my robe in anger; my body language was unmistakable. "Sorry, Justin," he said, "but it's the truth!" I watched in silence as he shook his rod and shoved it back inside his boxers. "How'd you manage that?" he finally asked me. "I guess I left it on just a little too long, Bro!" I explained. "Now what the fuck am I going to do?" Jack just shrugged his massive shoulders. "I don't see the problem. I mean it's not like you're going to go out tonight and try to get laid," he explained. I glared at him with contempt. "Son of a bitch, Jack! You're supposed to be my big brother! What would you do?" He blanched. "What would I do? I'd probably get myself good and hard and then go to town with some Vaseline." "What!" I shouted. "You want me to masturbate?" Jack laughed softly and put up a hand to try and calm me down. He shook his head. "Relax, Bro! I'm just suggesting you use some Vaseline to try and remove some of the dye. And if that don't work; try using some of that great hand cleaning stuff we got at work. It's great for getting just about anything and everything off your hands." I looked at him with my arms across my own imposing chest. "Look," he said, "I got one too, remember? But it's the best thing I can think of to try and help you. You're just going to have to bite the bullet and - scrub!" I knew he was right. My brother, who was all of thirty seconds older than me was right; and I hated it. But the fact of the matter is that it worked; I ended up using up quite a bit of that hand cleaning gel we have at the gym; or I should say, we had at the gym; because I took it home and nearly depleted the container. And when I was done I had a huge red penis! As I said, being a man sure can be interesting! I know women can get bikini waxes done; but I had no doubt in my mind that there was no such place where a man such as I could go and get his pubic hair dyed; and this was New York City! Monday October 9th 2006 It didn't take Travis long for them to find me something to do. You know those romance novels that women like to read? Well, I never knew this until now; but they sell better if the cover is not a photograph; but a painting or illustration. And for my first job with Travis I found myself standing under glaring lights, bare chested and wearing a pair of tight fitting black pirate pants. I was somewhat embarrassed when I had to walk out to the photographer's stage set up wearing those pants! My oversized unit's bulge was on display for all to see! Of course the damsel in distress that I held in my muscular arms was dressed in one of those satin full length dresses; full of lace and tied tight to the woman's waist. Her exposed cleavage was a creamy white. Her blonde hair contrasted nicely to my jet black. She was a gorgeous woman of average height however and had to stand on a crate to get the shot right. The photographer took hundreds of pictures. And the time flew by! The book is to be published in the spring or early summer; depending on when the artist completes the cover using one of the photographs. As Justine I'd read a few romance novels. And yes, I'd even imagined myself being in the arms of the well muscled, handsome man on the cover. And now? Interesting; isn't it? I am the well muscled, handsome man on the cover holding a gorgeous woman in my arms! It felt all at once; great, surreal, even strange, embarrassing, and exciting to the point of intoxication. I loved it! And I can hardly wait to see the finished work of the artist when the book comes out. I wonder if this is how Fabio felt! But I digress... Soon there after Travis had other modeling work for me. The work seemed to vary quite a bit; one day it was another romance novel cover, then next it was for an ad for men's underwear in some men's clothing catalog. I forget the name of it; but I sure do remember all the changes of men's underwear they put me through! I was even asked to remove what ever it was I had stuck inside my underwear by one rather direct photographer who shall remain nameless. His jaw hit the floor when I had to tell him it was all me! I soon moved from modeling underwear to athletic apparel. This proved rather enjoyable as I got to work with many other male models. And you can bet your last dollar that I picked their brains for advice on the business of being a male model. Some were only in it for the money; others still had aspirations of movie stardom. One young man even made it a point to inform me that Ashton Kutcher got his start as a male runway model in New York years ago. 'Really' I said, politely in response to the young man's story. I'm sure it's true given the man's zeal; but honestly, I didn't care. I wasn't in this to chase stardom. If it happened...it happened. But like I said, I was in it for the money. Call me shallow if you must; but at least I'm upfront about it all. Christmas time was just over two months away. Wednesday October 25th 2006 When I got home from work tonight there was a check from Travis Modeling waiting for me on the kitchen table. As I was told my earnings were less Travis' twenty percent. And I had to keep track of my own taxes. I would have to learn to stash some of what I was making away to pay Uncle Sam come tax time. Listed on my pay check stub was a brief description of the jobs that the check covered. Carver Book cover and a description followed: romance novel. Below that was my next job for Carver Book and a description that followed: romance novel. But the biggest listing of the three was the underwear work I did for a catalog called 'Menswear'. I gasped when I looked at the dollar amount of the check. From just those three assignments and after Travis' cut I was sent nearly four thousand dollars. Three thousand seven hundred and ninety eight dollars to be exact! "Good news, Bro?" I heard Jack ask from the living room. I glanced up at him as he reclined on our sofa watching the evening news. I smiled and waved my check. "I'll say!" I remarked. "Don't keep me in suspense!" he nearly shouted. I chuckled and walked into the living room. 'He could read it for himself' I thought as I handed him my check. Jack looked at it and his mouth fell open. "Christ! That's more than we both make at the gym for one pay period" he said. "I know that, Jack," I said, "and it's only for three days of work; long days mind you, but three days nonetheless." Jack handed me back my check and groaned. "Hey, maybe we could get some work together!" I suggested. Jack's eyes shot towards me in a flash. "I like what I do for a living, Justin!" "I know that, Jack, but you could supplement it with a little modeling; don't you think?" His eyes went back to the television screen. "I'll think about it," he said. I shrugged my shoulders. "Let me know, man, and I'll set it up," I said, as I padded my way to my bedroom. It was too late to call Joy in Chicago; and I could hardly wait to tell her! Tuesday October 31st 2006 Halloween I dressed as Darth Vader for work today. I decided I had it I might as well flaunt it; my stature I mean. Jack dressed as Frankenstein albeit with a mustache. I was glad he'd grown his mustache back, and let all his body hair grow back as well. He was back to being my big brother, hairy chest and all! Wearing the mask of Vader proved to be a hot task. The costume just wasn't meant to be worn all day long. So I had to take breaks from the mask every now and again. And with my clients that came in that I personally trained I left it in the office. It just didn't seem right somehow to wear it while trying to talk to them about their goals and challenges. There was a late night house party after work for us to go to. One of the girls who lead aerobic classes decided to have it somewhat at the last minute. I decided to go from the start and Jack caved in later and we both went after work. We both left work at ten and caught the subway to her house. By the time we got there we both had found our second wind; I hadn't been to a good house party in years! Jack of course would meet up with Claudia there; and I was going stag. Now there's a term I hadn't heard used in years as well; 'stag', 'going stag'. Did that apply to men only who went out socially alone? I'd never heard it used in reference to women. Well, anyway when we got to her house at about ten thirty the place was already packed. Most of these people I'd never met before. I recognized a few from the gym who came on dates or with their significant others. I smiled. A keg of beer usually did this; people that were happy to pay a few dollars for an almost endless supply of the yellow liquid would gladly come. If you didn't like beer of course you could BYOB (bring your own bottle). Thank god Jack and I loved beer and found the keg easy enough out in the backyard. The backyard was crowded too! We waited in line for at least five minutes for our turn at the spigot. When we had our beers Jack and I went in search of our hostess and Claudia. The kitchen seemed a good first choice to find the hostess of a house party. I led. It just seemed appropriate that Darth Vader should lead; besides Jack was Frankenstein! People parted way when we crossed the backyard towards the house. I was grinning from ear to ear inside my mask. And it was sometimes difficult for me to not laugh aloud as people looked up at me and I hissed something unintelligible. Of course the mask made it impossible for me to drink my beer; so once back inside the hot house I removed it. The beer went down good in my parched throat. We soon found Claudia in the kitchen; you really couldn't miss her, she was dressed as a cat. She wore a black leotard and had a long black tail that nearly touched the floor. Her face looked like something out of Broadway's 'Cats' musical; with full make up and whiskers as well. "Hi, Honey," said Jack as he walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the lips. "Hello, 'Frankenstein'," she replied when they broke their kiss. "Hi, Claudia!" I said, from a few steps away. "Love the cape, Justin!" she exclaimed. "Thanks," I said, as I took another drink of my beer. "Put the mask on and let me see how you look," she asked. "Oh, all right," I almost grumbled, I was beginning to regret my choice of costume. I put my beer down on the kitchen counter and pulled on the mask and made a few heavy breathing sounds. "Excellent!" she shouted, "Excellent!" I bowed and said as menacing as possible, "Thank you." "Frankie, I think Vader here just might have you beat!" she said to Jack as she turned and looked at him once again. "I know," he said, "Justin chose a great costume!" "There's just something about the way he carries it off; and the sound of his voice from inside that mask is just perfect!" "Me, Frankenstein! Me like cats!" said Jack, doing his best to mimic the legendary monster's speech. "You do? That's great!" she said, "If Frankie's good there's a surprise later for him tonight!" she said, as they cozied up to each other right there in the kitchen. It made me miss Joy! I walked out of the kitchen and looked for our hostess Shelly. I soon found her in the living room listening to someone telling a rather x-rated joke by the sounds of it. I left my mask on as I continued to listen to the man tell his joke. I surveyed the room and found it populated by folks I had never met before. Apparently Shelly knew a lot of people. I caught a young blonde woman staring at me from across the room. She was quite fetching dressed as a woodland nymph in an outfit of sheer white satin complete with wings. I nodded in her direction and let it go at that. The man telling the joke had finally finished and Shelly turned around and finally saw me. Of course she knew who I was because she had seen me in costume at the gym. "Hi, Justin," she said, as she walked up to me and smiled. "Glad you could make it." I bowed and just breathed heavily for the affect. "I just love the Vader costume; you really can pull him off like no other guy I've ever seen!" I nodded again in silence this time. "Great!" she said, "If I was giving out door prizes you would surely win!" I laughed heartily and as menacingly as I possibly could and bowed again. "I have to go check on things, Justin, let me know if you need anything; OK?" she said. I bowed and Shelly just smiled and walked away. Other people began talking and when I turned around to view the living room once again the nymph was standing in front of me looking up at me. She was a tiny little thing even in heels she barely made it up to my chest. "Hello," she said, in a small and delicate female voice. I nodded politely and said, "Hello," from inside the mask. "Fantastic costume!" she said as her eyes roamed all over my massive black frame. I nodded again and raised my hands to remove the mask. "Don't!" she suddenly said, "It really adds to the sense of mystery." I dropped my hands to my sides and looked at her. She was an intriguing woman to be sure. "What's your name?" I said slowly from within my mask. "Cathy," she replied demurely as she looked up at my mask. "Mine's Justin," I said, "would you like to go outside. It's really hot in here dressed like I am." "Sure, I'd love to!" I held an arm out towards the exit at the back of the house and she led the way. Once outside I finally did remove the mask despite her objections. I was just plain too hot to carry on wearing it any longer. My lungs sucked in large amounts of the cool autumn air as we waited in line for beers. "You're not only tall, you're gorgeous!" Cathy gasped as she finally go a good look at my face. I blushed. "Thanks," I said. "I bet you get it all the time," she remarked. "What's it like to be so fuckable?" I blanched and nearly fell over after accidentally stepping on the cape of my costume. "Excuse me?" "Let's go somewhere and fuck," she said, as she looked me directly in the eyes. "I'm taken," I explained, "That's why I'm here alone with friends." "I'm sure you are. But if you were mine, I'd be here with you." "My fianc?e lives in Chicago," I said. "I see," she said, as her eyes roamed over my torso, "it just makes it all the easier for us to you know..." I rolled my eyes. What a come on! Did women really know how simply unattractive they can be when they are so direct about getting laid? Granted, as Justine I'd thought it rather coarse for a guy to be so direct concerning bodily functions as well. I still feel this to be true; and now as a guy I have to be extremely careful about asking for sex. I refuse to be seen as a shallow cad who only wants one thing and one thing only; even though as a man now physically I know just how powerful the male sex drive is. I sighed and looked at Cathy. She truly was aggressive, and a temptress! But my loins ached for Joy. "I'm sorry, Cathy. I don't think so," and I walked back inside to find Jack and Claudia. I wanted to let them know that I was going to leave. I suddenly didn't feel much like partying anymore. "You don't know what you're missing!" she shouted as I made my way up the steps and back inside the house. 'That may be' I thought, and then again, who needs the headache all for a toss in the sack? "But you've only just got here!" Jack said, when I told him and Claudia that I was going to leave. "I don't care," I said, as I shrugged a caped shoulder. "See you later then, Bro," he said with a raise of his chin. "Later," I said, and went on home. Why did I include this little story in my journal? I'm not really quite sure why; but I do know one thing to be true. If I hadn't left I may just have cheated on my Joy! In fact, I was so sexually frustrated that as soon as Darth Vader got back home he masturbated again and again! Wednesday Morning November 1st 2006 I skipped my morning workout today and instead went online at the office to set up my travel plans to Chicago. Christmas lands on a Monday this year so that means a nice long weekend in Chicago and a return flight home to New York on Tuesday morning. I decided to bring Jack along. 'What the hell!' I thought I could afford it! And he is my brother, my only flesh and blood! I smiled. I just knew we were going to have a good time in Chicago come Christmas. I spent plenty setting us both up with first class seats and hotel rooms in downtown Chicago. I wasn't at all sure where Joy's parents lived but I knew that Joy lived in an apartment complex in downtown Chicago somewhere. I couldn't wait to take my little head back 'home' again. I arranged also for Jack and I both to be off that weekend; it was fairly easy as the gym management knew of my engagement. The fun would be telling Jack that he was going with me! Neither of us has been to Chicago; and I was sure there would be lots to see and do; but for the most part I was looking forward to meeting Joy's family in person finally. Can you imagine how busy I'm going to be? Joy has told me not to worry about bringing gifts for anyone but her. But I have to bring them something! Perhaps some expensive wine would do the trick? Friday November 10th 2006 Boy did I ever feel uncomfortable at work today! No, not at the gym; I'd long since got over seeing and being seen by naked men. I felt very uncomfortable at the latest photo shoot that Travis sent me on for some beefcake calendar that someone is producing. The photographer insisted that I strip; and I do mean strip! 'No straps' he said. 'It just makes for more work later in retouching' he explained. I gulped. I understood; but I really wasn't looking forward to another 'it's all me' scenario. It was just me; the photographer; and the lighting crew. All of us were adults; and all of us were men. I was supposed to lay naked on a bed with my back against the brass rail headboard. Once I was prone I was then supposed to cover my genitals with a sheet. I removed my robe and walked over to the bed. I shrugged my shoulders and removed my BVD's. I decided at the very last second to put on a show. I stepped out of my shorts and stretched my arms above my head. I heard gasps as I bent and crawled onto the bed. I smiled as I turned myself around and planted my ass up against the brass rail. I threw one of my beefy arms along the top of the rail and grabbed at the sheet. "You want as much skin as possible; right?" I asked. The photographer's jaw apparently wasn't working; much like the last one. Finally, one of the lighting crew said, "Yeah, man." I nodded and messed with the sheet until it looked at least somewhat natural as it covered strategic places. "Too bad this isn't a shoot for 'Playgirl'," I heard someone say. I chuckled. It would be a cold day in hell that I took it all off for 'Playgirl' or any other magazine for that matter. A cold shiver suddenly went through me. Had anyone taken any shots while I was playing actor nonchalant? I shot a cold stare in the direction of the man who had spoken. "Anyone who shoots a full Monty of me will be sued," I said in a tone that said I was unmistakably deadly serious. "Hey, man it's all right!" shouted the photographer, "I have the only camera in the room in my hands. Nobody's going to shoot anything you don't want them to!" My gaze shifted to the photographer. He was looking straight at me as I lay there on his bedroom stage. "Fine!" I said, "As long as we understand each other." The photographer took a deep breath and let it out. "Ok to start now, tough guy?" I heard one of the lighting crew say. I shot a glare of contempt in his direction. "I said 'fine' as I recall," I remarked tersely. "Nobody makes you do this; you know?" the photographer said. "You're free to leave now if you wish." I laughed. Of course I knew better. I had signed a contract with Travis Modeling Agency and I wasn't allowed to just get up and put my pants back on and leave. Perhaps some day in the future I will have enough clout to do so; but not today! "Can we please just get on with it?" I exclaimed impatiently. I took a deep breath and expanded my broad chest. The photographer's mouth fell open again. He fumbled with his camera for a few seconds before he had it properly mounted on his tripod. "Would you mind so very much doing that again?" he asked. I looked at him with a quizzical expression. "Take a deep breath again and let it out," he explained. I shrugged and did as he asked. I soon heard the camera ticking away each second with a click of its lens. There was no flash thank god; flashes were hard on the eyes and flattened out a person's features. It was a long shoot that lasted all of an hour and a half! On the way home I wondered just how much I would get paid for my trouble. Having a big dick sure had its up and downs! No pun intended. Thursday November 23rd 2006 Thanksgiving Day; my second as a man; Jack and I stayed home this time and had dinner with Claudia. I spoke with Joy earlier today and wished her a happy Thanksgiving Day. She was about to depart for her parents home in Highland Park which is due north of Chicago. I enjoyed our brief conversation; but longed to nail her body to the floor with my tool. Can you tell I've been counting the days to Christmas time? All I've been doing pretty much is work; either at the gym with Jack or at some photo shoots for Travis Modeling. I have to say the modeling thing has been going fairly well when all is taken into account. They have kept me pretty busy. It was a gas going in to audition; if I can call it that, for the next Calvin Klein model. You know the one in all the ads, the one on the huge billboard in Times Square. But they took one long, long look at me and just went - uh, no. Apparently what they wanted was a slimmer, younger, yes, younger than my twenty six years, and not quite so well endowed down there; if you know what I mean? It kind of scared me just a little to realize that I wanted it! I wanted to be that guy on the billboard, on the side of the buses, and in all the best magazines. I wanted it bad! I don't know exactly when this change occurred; but what does it matter now? If I didn't like it I could just quit; like I said I would. But today was a holiday and I had a lot to be thankful for. I'm engaged to a wonderful woman, I have the best friend anyone could ask for, and I have two great jobs! My goals were shifting all by themselves I realized. Somewhere back there I decided to seriously go for the brass ring as a male model and see what happened. I know I mentioned this before but the more I did the modeling thing, and the more money I made, the more I seemed to be driven to make my mark Don't get me wrong, modeling isn't exactly easy money. You have to keep in shape, which I would do anyway no matter what. You have to take the work seriously but not yourself; if you know what I mean? You also have to be incredibly patient as a photo shoot involves teamwork. And that's what was so hard about discovering that the team you've been sent to work with may not be trustworthy; like the episode I experienced concerning certain suggestions made by certain men concerning my tool size. Enough about work; today was a great day! Jack and I made a great dinner between the two of us and Claudia joined us about noon. We ate at three p.m. and it's now nearly eight and I'm still stuffed! Jack and Claudia went out to see a movie and I stayed here to get caught up here on these pages. Man I sure miss Joy; especially today when I felt like such a third wheel after Claudia arrived. Like I said, I'm counting the days until Christmas! Friday November 24th 2006 Friday; the day after Thanksgiving is the biggest shopping day of the year; and guess who was right smack in the middle of it? At lunch today I stepped out to pick up something for Jack I'd found in advertised in the newspaper. It's time we started to divide our possessions with my up and coming wedding. I'm sure that I found a great gift for Jack and I would pick up a c