MAU: The Ultimate Costume free porn video

MAU: The Ultimate Costume Synopsis: A couple are planning to go to a Halloween party, but can't decide on a costume. At the last minute, the host offers to let them use his newest 'toy', an alien device that can change people. The two put their heads together and come up with a very unique 'costume'. [email protected] ********************************************************************** MAU: The Ultimate Costume Jeff turned the last page of the catalog, then set it on the end table and sighed. He glanced across the room at his girlfriend, Holly, who was similarly looking through a catalog. "Nothing," he reported with disgust when Holly glanced up at him. Holly frowned. "There's _got_ to be something," she protested. "Vampires?" "Done it," Jeff snorted. "Besides, it's not very original." "How about Frankenstein and the Bride?" Holly asked hopefully as she scanned a page. "Three years ago, remember?" "Oh, yeah. I forgot." She flipped a couple of pages, and her face lit up. "What about this?" she asked excitedly, holding up the catalog for Jeff to see. "Pirates?" Jeff shook his head. "Dan and Angela are going as pirates," he sighed. "And Marty, and John." "Star Wars?" Holly offered hopefully. Jeff shook his head. "Nope," he said with finality. "Remember, Fred invited some of the guys from the 501st." The 501st was a Star Wars fan group that made fantastic replica costumes from the movies. Jeff knew that anything he and Holly could do would pale in comparison to the near-professional costumes of the 501st. Jeff leaned back on the sofa, stretching his arms and legs. Tall and muscular, Jeff prided himself on his well-toned body. With his reddish-brown hair, beard, and mustache, he bore more than a little resemblance to a Norse or Germanic warrior of old. The resemblance struck Holly quite suddenly. Unlike Jeff, she was petite - about five foot four - and lusciously slender. "What about Viking warriors?" she offered. Jeff scratched his beard for a moment. "It might work. But it's not that elaborate. It'd be hard to win." Holly sighed. Jeff was taking this costume contest much too seriously, just like he did every year. "Well, I'm out of ideas. And we're almost out of time." Jeff sighed and picked up his beer bottle. "I know." Holly glanced at Jeff. "You need another one?" she asked when she saw the bottle was nearly empty. "Yeah," Jeff grunted. "Thanks, sweetie." Holly stood in her usual graceful manner; Jeff watched her every move, amazed and delighted that she could make a simple stroll across the kitchen into an art form. He knew he was lucky to have her, and he tried to make sure she knew how he felt. At the sound of his wolf whistle, she added a little extra wiggle to her butt. Just as she bent over to open the refrigerator door, her round sexy rear pointed deliberately at Jeff, the phone rang. For a moment, she debated letting the answering machine take the call, but then she picked up the receiver. "Hello?" she spoke, her word half greeting and half question. "Oh, hi!" Her features lit up with delight. She pulled the phone down from her mouth, her hand covering the mouthpiece. "It's Fred," she announced to Jeff. "Great," Jeff muttered. "As if I didn't remember the party is tomorrow night." Holly's scowl hushed him as she returned the phone to her ear. "Yeah," she said after a moment, "we're planning on it. But we're having problems coming up with a good costume." Jeff scowled. He could imagine the look of triumph on Fred's face; he and Fred had been friendly rivals for as long as either could remember. In fact, both had competed for Holly's affection, and Jeff knew that Fred wasn't happy that he'd lost. "Really?" Holly asked, her voice rising in excitement. "You're not kidding, are you?" Jeff pondered. Had Fred just offered to partner with Holly for a costume? Almost as fast as it had come, the jealous thought was banished from Jeff's brain. Holly wasn't that type. She was loyal to Jeff. Even Fred wouldn't stoop so low as to try to steal Holly from him. "Okay, we'll see you tomorrow then," Holly said cheerfully. "Bye." "What did Fred want?" Jeff asked quickly. Holly read Jeff's impatient tone of voice and decided to let him stew for a bit. Instead of answering, she slowly and deliberately retrieved a beer from the fridge, then opened it and strolled leisurely back to the sofa. "Here you go, honey." Jeff knew the game. "Thanks, dear," he said graciously as he took the cold bottle. "I assume Fred called about the party?" Holly smiled to herself. She had a knack for taming Jeff's impulsive actions. "Fred said that a lot of people are having trouble with costumes this year. Everyone wants to do something really special." "Really?" Jeff asked, feigning bored surprise. The game was truly engaged; he had to appear indifferent to the news, even though his curiosity was gnawing at him. "Yes," Holly answered, her voice deliberate and emotionless as she precisely metered out the information. "The costumes last year were so good that everyone feels the bar has been raised for this year." "You don't say," Jeff tried to keep in the game. In fact, he was nearly ready to burst from curiosity. "Yes. But Fred said he found something that could help." Jeff gave in. "Okay, what did Fred find? And how's it going to help our costumes this year?" he blurted; impatience and curiosity had beaten him once more. Holly smiled sweetly, her only display of her little victory. "Fred said he found some kind of magic box. He said it can change a person into whatever they think of." Jeff's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, right," he snorted. ********** "Hi, Jeff. Holly!" Fred, standing in his robe, seemed surprised to see his friends here at this late hour. Especially since he'd just talked to Holly an hour ago. Jeff pushed past Fred. "Okay, Fred," he demanded as he scanned Fred's apartment. "Where's this so-called magic box?" Fred sighed, shrugging his shoulders for Holly to see his exasperation, then he let her inside and closed the door. "You could have at least called," he rebuked Jeff. Jeff ignored Fred's protest at the intrusion. "So, where is it?" Fred shook his head. "Always the non-believer," he clucked. "Always the doubter." Shaking his head, he led the two into his den. Jeff blinked when the light turned on, then he frowned. "That's it? A gray telephone booth? _That's_ your magic box?" Fred shook his head again. "Okay, smart guy. You don't believe it? Watch this." He stepped to the side of the box, to a panel that looked like an LCD computer display above a red dinosaur paw print. He gave Jeff one final stern glance over his shoulder, then he touched the crystalline paw and began to concentrate on the display. As Jeff and Holly watched, the screen began to change. Slowly, a figure began to appear - fuzzy at first, then gaining in definition and clarity. Finally, when it looked very realistic, Fred dropped his hand from the red crystal and touched a doorknob-shaped purple crystal. Just like that, with no visible or audible clues, an opening appeared in the side of the box - as if by magic. Fred gave Jeff a smug look over his shoulder, then he stepped into the box. The opening vanished as instantly as it had appeared. Jeff glanced at Holly, his features reflecting his confusion. Things like this - a box with doors that just appeared and disappeared - weren't normal. As he glanced back at the strange box, the door reappeared. Jeff's eyes narrowed as he craned his neck forward to see what was happening. Neither Jeff nor Holly expected to see the alien hunter from Predator step out. Jeff started, while Holly let out a tiny scream. As Jeff's eyes widened, the creature stepped menacingly from the box, stalking them slowly. Just when they were backed against the wall with nowhere left to retreat, the creature tilted back its head and laughed. Jeff's eyes widened. It was Fred's laugh. The creature pulled off its helmet, showing the unworldly visage, while Fred's laughter echoed. "You should have seen your face," the creature chortled in Fred's voice. "I got you good!" "Fred?" Jeff asked cautiously as the creature assumed a less menacing stance. The creature laughed again. "Yup!" Fred confirmed. "That's some costume," Holly said cautiously as she eyed the creature. The creature went back to the controls, and after another few seconds in the box, Fred reemerged. "It wasn't a costume," he explained to his confused friends. "It _changed_ me - into the creature." Jeff shook his head even as he examined the box. "That's not possible," he declared. Fred's features changed from amusement to annoyance; his lips pursed and his eyes narrowed. "Always the skeptic, weren't you," he muttered with a hint of disgust in his voice. Holly elbowed Jeff. "It looked pretty real to me," she chided her boyfriend. Jeff shook his head. "Yeah? He hides the costume in the box, then expects us to fall for the quick-change gag?" Fred glared at Jeff for a moment, then he sighed. "Okay, I'll do another one." He spun back to the control pad, and after a moment's work, he again touched the purple knob. Once more, he stepped in, the door vanished, and then it reappeared. It wasn't an alien that emerged this time; rather, Fred's head popped through the door, obviously ducking a bit, then his nude torso appeared, followed seconds later by ... the forelegs and torso of a horse! Jeff's jaw dropped once more. "Fred?" he asked, incredulous, as an entire horse's body appeared. Fred was a centaur, with his own human torso atop the body of a horse. Holly glanced up and down, then back along the entire horse. Her mouth hung agape in disbelief. Then her eyes widened as she spied the horse's equipment, protruding huge and hard and red from the sheath beneath the horse's body. Her hand clasped over her mouth in a futile attempt to stifle the gasp of surprise. Quickly, with her face reddening, she turned quickly back toward Fred's head and face, away from the embarrassing sight. "Well?" Fred asked Jeff, his face bearing a triumphant grin. "You going to say I'm faking this one, too?" Jeff walked slowly around the centaur, closely examining what he believed to be a costume. "I don't know how you did it, but this is one fantastic trick," he mumbled. Fred frowned, then he reworked the box. In moments, he emerged as himself. "You just don't believe, do you?" he asked angrily. "I show you some ... fantastic ... alien contraption that can _make_ you into whatever costume you want, and you don't believe?" Jeff shook his head warily. "Sorry, Fred, but no. You've pulled some good ones on me, so you'll understand if I'm a bit skeptical." Holly elbowed Jeff in the ribs yet again. She just couldn't understand Jeff and Fred and their constant rivalry. "You have to admit that if it isn't real, it's a pretty good trick. And I don't see how it could be a trick." Fred suddenly got a wicked grin. "Okay, Mister Skeptic," he said, "I'll prove to you that it's real." He turned back toward the controls, and after a moment's manipulation, he touched the purple knob again. "What are you going to change into this time?" Jeff asked sarcastically. "Not me," Fred answered with a smug smile. "You." He gestured to the opening, indicating that Jeff should enter the device. Jeff's jaw dropped. "You ... want me ... to go in there?" he stammered. His confidence that it was all a gag was evaporating quickly. And yet... Fred knew he had Jeff. "Just step in and touch the purple crystal thing. The rest is automatic." Jeff gulped. He was on the spot, and he knew it. But ... this had to be a trick. It had to be. There was no way Fred could have gotten a machine that actually _changed_ someone! He clenched his jaw and stepped into the box. He gave Fred a determined 'I'll show you' glance, then he touched the purple crystal, just as Fred had indicated. The door vanished, just as it had before. The door opened, and Jeff staggered out, his blue eyes wide as saucers and his full red lips parted in surprise as his delicate hands cupped the large, no _enormous_, breasts hanging nude from his chest. Below the orbs, his waist was tiny, with wide round feminine hips completing the exaggerated hourglass figure he now had. "What ..." his eyes widened even more at the sultry contralto voice emanating from his mouth, "what the hell have you done to me?" "Convinced?" Fred asked with a smug grin. "You ... you changed me into a ... " A sudden thought entered Jeff's head, and with a panicked glance, he struggled to peer between his huge bosoms, a nearly impossible task given the size of the bosoms, while his hands dropped from his big erect nipples to the pink G-string bottom. He patted frantically, his eyes widening with each passing second as he realized that something was missing. "Yes," Fred beamed. "You're a woman. And not just any woman, but ... you remember that stripper at Dave's bachelor party? Bobbi Bazookas?" He reached out to tweak Jeff's nipple, causing Jeff to flinch and slap at Fred's hand. "Well, you're her now." "But ... he's ... a girl?" Holly finally managed to stammer. "All the way?" Fred grinned. "Yup." He turned to Jeff. "You want to find out how well your new equipment works?" he said with a leer as he reached for Jeff's mammaries yet again. Jeff backed away, against the box, as his eyes filled with terror. He knew what Fred was talking about, and that his body was far too tiny and weak to fight if Fred really did try something. Which, given the circumstances, Jeff wasn't sure if Fred would or would not! "Get away from me!" Jeff croaked as he swatted at Fred's groping hands. Fred stopped, then he turned to Holly. "Of course, now that Jeff's a woman, I guess you'll be in the market for a boyfriend," he said playfully. "Turn me back," Jeff pleaded, trying hard not to sound sexy in the new ultra-sexy feminine voice he possessed. It was a near impossibility. Fred glanced at Jeff and wiggled his eyebrows Groucho style. "Are you sure you don't want to try anything first?" he said with yet another leer. The suggestion fell flat. In a few moments, Fred showed Jeff how to work the controls, and after another cycle in the machine, Jeff was restored, complete to his clothing. As Jeff staggered from the box, patting himself none too modestly to make sure that everything that was supposed to be there was, and that anything that _wasn't_ supposed to be there wasn't. Jeff sat close to Holly, trying hard to look macho and brave, while he trembled inwardly. Being changed into the likeness of a big- boobed stripper by his old friend and rival had thoroughly rattled him. "So, are you ready to admit that it works?" Fred gloated. Jeff glanced at Holly, then the two nodded. "I don't know how you did it, but yeah, it was real." "So what you're suggesting is that we ... use the box ... to make ourselves into something for the party. Not just wear a costume, but to change completely!" The pieces clicked into place for Holly and Jeff about the same time; she beat him to the words. "Yup," Fred nodded. "A few of our friends are already planning to use it. Should be a great party this year." ********** "You remember what Fred said - it reads your mind. So if I make the werewolf able to change at will, it should work." Jeff sat on the couch, with Holly cuddled in his lap. "Yeah, but a werewolf?" Holly sounded unsure. "I thought it would be something we could _both_ go as. Maybe something cute." "Cute?" Jeff's voice echoed his disbelief. "Cute? This is Halloween!" "Yeah? Well Mary and Ron are going as MASH medics. And I heard Harry and Simone are going to be cute space aliens." Jeff sighed. "Yeah, but I wanted something really different. Something ... unique." "You want?" Holly asked with distaste in her voice. "I want something ... together." Jeff shut up. Then, suddenly, a thought jolted his mind. "Together? How about if we go as a two-headed person?" he asked, enthusiasm rising in his voice. Holly frowned. "That sounds kind of ... weird." "But _together_," Jeff replied. "In a way we've never been. A very unique costume, and we'll be together." "But..." Holly sounded very unsure. "You wanted something together," Jeff argued quickly. "It's be really cool," he added. Holly glanced at him, then she sighed. When Jeff got this enthusiastic, he was hard to dissuade. "Well..." Jeff grinned. "Besides, it's just for the party tonight." The two clambered from the couch to the box, on loan from Fred and sitting in their living room. "How does it work?" Holly asked cautiously as she stood half- behind Jeff. Based on the previous evening, she harbored some fear of the strange device. Jeff touched the plate. "Simple. It reads your mind." He frowned, struggling to get the display to show the two-headed creature he was envisioning. "Hmm," he muttered after a few seconds. "It doesn't seem to be working." Holly frowned. If it wasn't going to work, Jeff would be frustrated, and then he'd sulk for a few days. It wasn't a pleasant experience, she knew. "Let me try." She touched the plate to move Jeff's hand. Instantly, the display showed a second head on the torso. Jeff's eyes lit up. "Of course! Since it's our heads, we have to both be working to design it!" He thought for another moment, and the body changed until it resembled Arnold Schwarzenneger. "Jeff!" Holly scolded. "What are you doing making us look like that?" She thought for a moment, and the body changed. The waist narrowed, and the hips rounded to a decidedly feminine shape. "Hey!" Jeff countered. "What's that about?" Holly smiled sweetly. "If I'm doing this with you, I get to help design the body. And it needs a bit of a ... feminine ... touch." Jeff scowled, then he focused on the display again. The crotch bulged noticeably. He turned to Holly with a triumphant grin. Holly watched the bulge grow, and her eyes narrowed. "Okay, smartie pants. You want to play that way?" She focused on the display, and the chest rippled and bulged outward until the torso clearly bore tits - modest, to be sure, but round and definitely feminine. "What the hell are those doing there?" Jeff asked in astonishment. "If it's a science fiction experiment that merges two bodies, one male and one female," Holly said defiantly, "then it should have some of the characteristics of each one. And for the female half, it needs breasts." Jeff scowled, trying for a moment to think of a way to argue with her impeccable logic. As usual, he failed. Instead, he turned back to the display. The tits she'd placed swelled quickly until they were very prominent. He turned to her with a smug grin. Holly shook her head. "Too big. They'll be too heavy. I guarantee you won't like them bouncing around on our chest." "Well, if it has to have tits, they should be noticeable." Holly frowned. She took a turn, and the bulge vanished, replaced with the flat smoothness of a female crotch. She gave Jeff a sweet little smile as she saw his jaw drop. Jeff scowled anew. The model's clothing vanished as he concentrated, then an organ grew upward from the crotch. As Holly's eyes widened, the figure grew a penis _above_ the vagina Holly had given it. "Now it's _really_ got both!" he argued with a tone of finality. Holly stared for several long seconds. Finally she turned to Jeff. "Aren't we getting a bit carried away here?" she asked softly. Jeff grinned. "That's the whole point," he said enthusiastically. "It's Halloween. We're _supposed_ to get carried away." Holly felt a chill - something about this just didn't quite feel right. "I guess you're right," she answered. Jeff gave her a quick grin, then he turned his attention back to the display. On the display, the hair on Holly's head turned from sandy brown to very blonde, grew in length, and got very wavy. Her lips swelled a bit, becoming more full and pouty. Holly shot Jeff a frown of disapproval. "Are you implying that you'd like me to look like that?" she demanded. Jeff tried to look innocent. "It's just for the night," he tried to explain. "Just for something different." Holly thought for moment, then she turned to the display. In a few moments, she altered the image of Jeff's face. The eyes turned steely blue, the chin firmed, and the hair changed to a short brown style. The image was still Jeff, but altered to look more like a macho Marine drill instructor. Holly met Jeff's accusing glance and smiled sweetly. "It's just for the night." Jeff glowered at her, then he turned back to the display. Nothing visible changed, and Holly began to look puzzled. "What's that about?" she asked. "You'll see." Jeff leaned back, removing his hand from the control plate, and gazed at their handiwork. "That looks good," he said with a grin. Holly looked at the image. Unlike Jeff, she was losing her enthusiasm. "I don't know," she muttered. "Something doesn't seem right." Jeff held her hand. "You say we should get closer. What could be closer than this? Besides, it's just for tonight." "Okay," Holly finally agreed, albeit with more than a hint of reluctance in her voice. Together, they touched the purple crystal, and when the door appeared, they both stepped in. A few seconds later, but what seemed an eternity to Holly, the most bizarre creature stepped out of the box. He ... she ... it, for it was all of them together, was over six and a half feet tall, with broad shoulders. Strong masculine arms tapered to dainty feminine hands with long fingernails colored bright red. Its barrel chest held a pair of very large - huge - mammaries which stuck out prominently, capped by big brown nipples that immediately got erect as they were exposed to the air. Below the tits, it's waist tapered to a narrow twenty inches, and below that, wide feminine hips and a very round derriere tapered into sexy curvy legs which ended in large manly feet. At the waist, an enormous male organ hung awkwardly, with a visibly hint that a feminine slit was tucked neatly beneath it. But the strangest features of the being were the two heads perched atop the shoulders - one male and the other female. "Wow!" the Jeff head exclaimed as he felt a rush of new sensations from the merged body. "This is so cool!" Slowly, the arms raised, the hands cupping toward the erect nipples. "What are you doing?" the Holly head demanded sharply. The motion of the arms halted, then they flapped about for a moment as if undecided as to what to do. "Trying to feel us up?" Jeff blushed. "Well," he admitted sheepishly, "you can't blame me, can you? It's not like I've ever had tits, you know." Holly considered his statement for a moment, then decided that while his actions were weird, they were understandable. After all, she could feel the strange sensations of their male organ. The hands reached up again, this time completing the voyage to the big nipples. Almost immediately at the touch, they hardened, growing big and firm. "Wow!" Jeff muttered softly as he played with them. "What's ... what's going on?" Holly asked, alarmed. "Something's ... wrong." Jeff paused, then he grinned. "No," he answered with a grin, "we're just getting horny." Given the strange configuration, it was difficult for Holly to peer between their tits. She did manage to see that their organ was slowly enlarging, getting firmer and bigger. Her eyes widened at the sensations coursing through their nervous system. Slowly, as if struggling against itself, one hand detached itself from a nipple and moved downward, until it wrapped its fingers around the massive shaft. "What are you doing?" Holly exclaimed in shock. Her brow furrowed, and the hand stopped moving. Jeff grinned. "Giving you a taste of what guys feel." "That's ... sick!" she protested strongly. The hand's battle continued, then reluctantly, Jeff quit trying to control it and the hand slumped to the side, followed quickly by the other one. "But you _are_ curious, aren't you?" Jeff asked, more as a statement of fact than a question. Holly ignored him. "You should have made us with clothes. I'm getting chilly." Jeff's jaw dropped; he hadn't considered clothing. "Uh, okay. Let's see if we can get some clothes?" Holly nodded, and the two stepped back to the control panel. Jeff quickly put pants and a normal man's shirt on the image. Holly frowned, then she touched the controls. The pants changed to a short skirt to show off the legs. "Hey!" Jeff frowned. "I'm not wearing a skirt!" "But the legs and butt are more female than male. A skirt makes sense!" Holly countered. "But it's ... weird!" Holly grinned. "So is this whole idea! So what's a little more?" Jeff thought for a moment. "Well, okay." He lengthened the skirt to past the knees. Holly shortened it again to mid-thigh. "No longer than that, okay?" she announced. Jeff frowned, then he begrudgingly accepted. "Okay. Hey!" "What?" "Panty hose?" Jeff asked. "Female legs," Holly retorted quickly. "They fit." Jeff felt like he was losing the battle. "Okay. Then we drop the panties. We've got a dick down here, you know, and we can't smoosh it into a pair of panties." "Why not?" Jeff half blushed. "You want to find out the hard way?" he asked with the voice of experience. "With the size of our ... thing ... we need all the room we can get downstairs." Holly nodded. "Okay." She touched the controls after Jeff had dressed it in men's briefs. The shirt disappeared, and a bra formed over the breasts. "What?" Jeff's voice rose sharply as he saw the bra. Holly answered by making the body bounce, which sent their large breasts careening about. "These things are heavy," Jeff protested when he got control of their arms and could grasp the boobs to stop the bouncing. "Hey, stop that!" Holly was trying to sway to make them bounce more. J "They bounce around too much!" Holly gave Jeff an 'I told you so' look, but wisely, she kept that thought inside. "If you don't want them to bounce so much, we have to have a bra." Jeff's face showed his anger at the thought, but he'd felt the massive hooters bouncing and swaying, and he knew that Holly was right. "Okay." As Holly added a bra, Jeff frowned. "Not so frilly!" Holly stuck her tongue out at Jeff. "I'm not wearing some kind of granny bra!" she pronounced. "So there." She finished the bra - a lacy, cream-colored and very sexy bra that pushed the tits together to create more cleavage. Jeff felt out of control. He protested by adding a flannel work shirt that hid the bra beneath the plaid fabric. It was loose enough that the curves of the huge tits were muted. Holly frowned. "That's so ... plain!" she protested. The flannel vanished, replaced by a scoop-neck lacy knit top, one that emphasized rather than hid the curves of the breasts. As a finishing touch, a necklace appeared. Jeff made the neckline move higher, and some of the lace disappeared. Holly lowered the neckline again. Finally, Jeff dropped his hand. "I give up. You're going to make us look feminine no matter what I do." "Well I'm not going to wear anything so ... butch!" Holly argued back. Jeff sighed. This _had_ been his idea. "Okay," he finally agreed. "We'll go with that." Holly beamed, having won again. They touched the knob, went inside, and emerged again, clothed this time. Jeff glanced down at the valley of cleavage on their chest. As he did, he felt something against his cheeks and around his neck. His hands shot up, and he discovered that, somehow, Holly had sneaked hoop earrings on pierced ears onto _his_ head, and a necklace to match hers around his neck. "Hey! I didn't want the earrings!" Holly tried to shrug - a move that was only half-successful given the fact that their two heads shared control of the one body. "You didn't argue before, so I thought it was okay." Jeff scowled. "You're making me look like some kind of ... weirdo!" "I thought that was the idea." ********** Jeff and Holly staggered toward his car. "Would you let me walk?" Jeff protested as they nearly tripped over a sidewalk crack. Holly frowned. "But you're walking so ... clumsy. Like a guy." "I am a guy!" Jeff retorted. Holly's mouth dropped open, and then she grinned wickedly as she forced a hand up to cup one of their boobs. "Yeah? And these are guy things?" Jeff frowned. As usual, Holly had a point. He decided to change the subject. "I'm hungry. Let's pick up something on the way to the party, okay?" "A chicken taco salad," Holly immediately replied. It was her usual evening meal, which explained a lot about how she kept her figure. "I was thinking more of a mega-burger," Jeff answered. "Why not one of each?" Holly figured out the answer to their dilemma. "After all, we have two heads, and two mouths." "Good thinking, sweetie." They lurched to the car, and with some fumbling, got the door unlocked and clambered inside. The keys started the car, but they over-revved the engine. "Watch the gas," Jeff said as he winced. "Sorry." They shifted into reverse, and with lurching and screeching, the car backed out of the parking spot. As the car approached a stop sign at the apartment complex's entrance, Jeff popped in the clutch to downshift, but the engine raced. By the time he controlled their right foot to get off the gas, and while he was moving the shifter, the left foot moved from the gas to the brake, resulting in a terrible grinding noise when Jeff tried to shift into gear. The clutch popped back in, and the brake was applied, albeit clumsily and with too much force. The car jerked to a stop. "Would you let me drive?" Jeff asked icily as he glared out the windshield, not wanting to look at Holly at the moment. Holly knew the source of Jeff's frustration and anger; he loved his car, and their common body - and their lack of experience coordinating actions - had just tortured the poor thing horribly. "I'm trying," she protested weakly. "But it's hard. I mean, I'm in the driver's seat, and, well, it's kind of ... automatic. When I'm in the driver's seat, I drive." Jeff tried to force them to take a deep breath. "I know," he muttered apologetically. "This isn't easy. But could you please _try_ to let me do the driving?" "I'll try." The car lurched back into motion, turning awkwardly onto the street. With uneven shifts, grinding gears, and over-revving motor, the car drove off toward the party. ********** "Let me do the talking, okay?" Jeff hissed. His face flashed red in time with the lights of the police car behind them, the bright ruby flashes reflecting from the mirror to illuminate them. "But..." "It's my license, and my car. So please be quiet." "What are we going to tell him?" Holly asked softly. Jeff sighed. "Halloween costume, that's what. Now hush - here he comes." Jeff rolled down the window as the dark figure stepped beside the car. A flashlight in the cop's hand was already pointing through the window, illuminating Jeff. "Happy Halloween, officer," Jeff tried to say cheerfully. "Can I help you?" The cop shone the light over Jeff's face, then over Holly's head, which she somehow managed to keep perfectly still. Then he let the light drift down, illuminating the valley of cleavage and the odd clothing Jeff was wearing. The beam probed around the interior of the car for a few more seconds. Jeff could almost hear the officer's eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Can I see your license, please?" the officer demanded as he moved the light back to Jeff's face. "Sure," Jeff answered. Inwardly, his nerves were jangled. The cop had seen their entire body. He handed his license to the cop. The officer shined his light on the license, then on Jeff's face. "Mr. Hardy? You were driving rather erratically back there." Jeff forced a smile. "Yes, sir. It's my costume. It's kind of hard to drive like this. I guess I should have waited until I got to the party to put it on." The officer frowned. Jeff could tell that he was breathing slowly, deeply, trying to smell if there was any alcohol on Jeff's breath or in the car. After a few well-practiced sniffs, the officer nodded curtly. "You haven't been doing any pre-party warmup, have you?" Jeff's eyes widened. "Uh, no sir," he answered honestly. The officer nodded again, a single nod of minimal motion and exertion. "Well, you see to it that you don't try to drive home if you have a few drinks. If you're having this much trouble driving sober...." He let the idea hang for emphasis. "No, sir," Jeff said solemnly. "I'm planning to stay at the hotel." "Good." The officer clicked off his flashlight and turned away, then he turned back. "Just out of curiosity, what the hell are you supposed to be, anyway?" Jeff gulped when the officer turned back. "You ever see any of the old science fiction movies where a mad scientist joins two bodies into one?" He watched the officer shake his head. "Well, I'm that experiment." The officer shook his head as he handed the license back to Jeff. "Damned weird if you ask me." Holly couldn't hold her tongue any longer. "That's what I told him," she said. Then she realized what she'd done. She clamped her mouth shut and turned back ahead. The officer clicked the light back on and pointed it at Holly's head. "Who said that?" he asked as he shined the light right at her. "Uh," Jeff stammered, "I did. I've been practicing ventriloquism for this costume." The officer's eyes narrowed. "Are you sure there isn't something funny going on here?" Holly knew she had to do something. She just hoped Jeff would follow along. "Just this damned costume," she said, trying to move her lips in a mechanical fashion. "It's bad enough that I have to have this ugly head for company all night long. He probably even snores!" Jeff had picked up on Holly's intentions almost instantly. He let his lips tremble and move slightly as she spoke, and when she was done, he glanced up at the officer. The officer moved his light back and forth between Jeff's head and Holly's. "That's pretty good," he finally said. "Your lips were moving, but not very much." He clicked off the light. "Probably the best costume I'll see all night. But what's with the fake tits?" Jeff knew the officer had been peering at their cleavage. "Uh, you know the old B-movie science fiction stereotype, don't you? Bit boobs, blonde, and bimbos." "What do you mean, blonde bimbos?" Holly demanded sharply. "And what's wrong with how big my breasts are?" The officer gawked again, then he laughed aloud. "If you don't win a prize with that costume, there's something wrong with the judging!" he roared. "Now remember, be careful driving." He walked back to the patrol car. Still trembling inwardly, Jeff sighed. "Oh, shit, that was close!" he muttered. "Blonde bimbo?" Holly hissed. "Big-titted blonde bimbo?" Jeff winced. "It was all I could think of," he stammered. "Besides, would you rather try to explain our looks to a judge?" Holly glared at him, then she turned sharply away. Jeff sighed again as he put the car into gear and eased back into traffic. ********** "What do you want for dinner?" Jeff asked softly when he spied a Burger Barn. "Burger and fries?" Holly glared at him. "No. You know I hate burgers." She turned away again. Jeff sighed again. He fought the conflicting nerve impulses to control the body and bring the car to stop at the red light. "I said I was sorry," he protested weakly. He got no answer. "Look, it _is_ the stereotype, and I had to get him to leave." Still no response. "Holly, you _know_ I don't think of you as a bimbo. I've never treated you like that!" Holly turned to look at Jeff, and she saw the pained expression he bore. She knew he really hadn't meant what his words as a reflection on her. And she knew that the 'blond bimbo' really _was_ the stereotype for old B sci-fi movies. She melted. "I guess I was a little sensitive," she admitted softly. She sat for a few moments, then she started chuckling. "We really pulled one over on that officer, didn't we?" Jeff smiled. "Yeah. I bet he'll be talking about this for years!" Holly grinned. "Did you see the way he was gawking at our cleavage?" Jeff winced at the memory. "He probably thinks I'm some kind of queer or something." He suppressed a shudder. "Anyway, I bet he thinks they're fake." Holly's eyes sparked mischievously. She grabbed control of one hand and cupped one of the breasts. She felt the tremble of excitement course through their body, and she felt the stirring down in their crotch. "Does this feel fake to you?" Jeff fought for control. "Stop it!" he snapped. "I'm trying to drive!" Holly grinned. "Are you saying I was distracting you?" "Yes! You made them too sensitive. You're making it hard to concentrate on driving." "Well, it's not my fault. You were the one who made them so big and sensitive." Jeff frowned. "I did not!" Behind them, a horn honked. Jeff glanced quickly over one shoulder, while Holly tried to glance over the other. Then Jeff spied a very faint green glow on the hood. He looked up and saw that the light had turned green. "Damn," he muttered as he eased out the clutch. Again, because of the dual control issues, the car lurched away from the light. Behind him, the horn honked again, then the impatient driver swerved around them, shaking his fist and wordlessly cursing as he passed. "Son of a bitch!" Jeff cursed angrily at the rude driver. "We _were_ blocking the intersection," Holly reminded him gently. Jeff mumbled something under his breath; Holly guessed it had to do with the probable ancestry of the other driver. She decided to let it go. "There's the Burger Barn." Jeff welcomed the distraction. "I don't want a burger," Holly protested. "I hate burgers." Jeff sighed as the car pulled into the parking lot. "So what _do_ you want?" He seemed to have forgotten their earlier discussion of dinner. Then again, the drive had been a very interesting adventure, and they had been stopped by the cop. It was only normal that Jeff might have forgotten. "A chicken taco salad," Holly answered simply. She opened her mouth to add something about the fact that she'd said so earlier, but at the last moment, she decided against it. "Well I want a burger." Jeff pulled into the drive through. A few moments later, with a mega-burger in hand, Jeff drove out of the parking lot. "Okay, now we'll get your salad." Holly forced their raised hand to stop, the burger inches from Jeff's mouth. "Not so fast," she complained. "We've only got one stomach, and I don't want it full of burger before I get a chance to eat some salad!" Jeff sighed. "I guess you're right," he said reluctantly. "But I'm hungry." "You'll just have to be polite and wait until I've got my food, too." ********** The car lurched to a stop in the hotel parking lot, and Jeff gratefully shut the engine off. The drive had been somewhat ... difficult. "You ate fast on purpose," Holly accused again. "I did _not_!" Jeff rebutted. "I was busy driving. You were the one cramming salad into your mouth!" He glared out the windshield. "Yeah? Well, tell me who ate a mega-burger in three bites." On the passenger seat, three fourths of Holly's salad sat uneaten. "I _had_ to gulp it down. Between driving and you shoveling in your salad, you weren't giving me a chance to eat anything." Holly stared at him for a few seconds, her jaw hanging open, then she turned away. From the way their body was breathing, and from the mild shaking, Jeff knew she was sobbing. He felt a sharp pang of guilt. "I'm sorry," he said after a few silent moments. "Maybe I did eat too fast. Maybe I didn't think that we were sharing a stomach." Holly reached up a hand; from the sensation of cool moisture, Jeff knew she was wiping away her tears. "Please, Holly," Jeff continued, "I know this is hard - for both of us. But you have to believe me when I tell you I'm not trying to be insensitive or mean." Holly turned back; her cheeks glistened with the moisture of her tears. She stared into Jeff's eyes for a few seconds, and she saw the sincerity backing his words. "I'm sorry, too," she finally said. " ********** "Fred? Is that you?" Holly and Jeff both asked the question at the same time, with the result of a strange harmony in their voices. Fred, or rather what appeared to be Fred, sauntered up to the two-headed creature. "Hi Holly, Jeff," Fred said in his usual voice. It seemed strange coming from his body. Fred was attired as a satyr, a half-goat, half man creature of mythology. Horns sprouted from his head, and a beard and goatee adorned his face. He was bare-chested, more muscular and with more chest hair than was normal for Fred. From the waist down, he appeared to be goat, with furry legs ending in hoofed feet. At his waist he carried a pan pipe, the traditional musical instrument of a satyr. "What the hell are you? Some kind of goat boy?" Jeff mocked. Fred frowned. "I was going to compliment you on your 'costume'," he said, "but if you're going to be rude..." "Ignore him," Holly laughed. "He woke up on the wrong side of the bed." She raised a glass of wine and took a sip. Fred chuckled. "I can see that _one_ of you would always be getting up that way." Jeff reached up and wiped his brow. "Is it hot in here?" he asked with a puzzled frown. Holly, too, wiped her forehead, then took another sip of her wine. Fred grinned. "Probably just me," he said. "After all, I'm a satyr, and I kind of have that effect on women." "But..." Jeff started to protest. Then he realized that he was starting to feel a bit aroused - their manhood was getting firm, while he could visibly see their nipples standing fully erect. "I'm not a woman," he argued. Holly frowned again. "You mean to tell me that just being around you makes women horny? What did you do? Add some kind of pheromones when you changed?" Jeff caught on a bit more slowly. "You used the box to change into that?" He picked up his beer from the table beside them. Fred smiled. "All I did was think of a satyr and the effects they were supposed to have on women. And it works," he added with a grin. "Something about my body chemistry makes women uncontrollably horny. I've gotten laid three times already tonight!" He made a show of staring at their breasts. "And I have to say, those tits of yours are making me feel kind of horny right now!" Jeff scowled, then he wound up to slap Fred. Holly, however, blocked that impulse, and their arm just swatted the air by Fred's head. "Are you queer or something?" he demanded. "It's still me in here!" Fred leered. "You never had tits like that before," he observed. Holly laughed. "Serves you right," she said to Jeff. She turned back to Fred. "The large ... breasts ... were his idea, not mine!" Jeff scowled at Holly. "You try anything, goat boy, and I'll knock your head through the wall!" Fred laughed anew. "Oh, are you implying that you've got _all_ the equipment that I _could_ try something?" Jeff's face flushed red, and he turned away from Fred's leering gaze. Holly, however, met his gaze levelly. "You keep this up," she said calmly, "and _I'll_ be the one tossing you through a wall." Fred realized he'd pushed way past the point of humor. He decided that it was time to be discrete. "Okay, okay," he tried to sound like a calm voice of reason. "I get the message." He shook his head. "Sheesh! Must be that time of month for the two of you!" Before they could react, he scampered away, his hooves making a strange clicking sound on the floor. Jeff guzzled the remaining two inches of beer in his glass, then as a waiter passed by, he deposited the empty and grabbed a fresh one. "You're drinking too much," Holly observed as he took a sip. "No, I'm not," Jeff countered as he lowered the glass from his mouth. Holly frowned. "Yes, you are. Remember, I'm in this body too? And I can feel a buzz." Jeff raised his arm to take another drink, but Holly fought the arm, with the result of beer sloshing from the glass onto their blouse. "Look what you made me do!" Jeff hissed. The hand without the beer glass reached up and patted uselessly at the wet fabric of the blouse. "All I asked is for you to slow down the drinking," Holly insisted. "It's not my fault you're so drunk you spilled your beer." "Great costume, Holly, Jeff!" The two turned to see the source. "Uh," Holly stammered as she gazed at the pair approaching them, "I'm not sure..." The woman laughed in a familiar voice. Every inch of her body, including her low-cut gown, was familiar. She took a sip from her wine glass. "You don't know who we are, do you?" Jeff frowned, then he shook his head. "You're Raquel Welch," he said slowly. "Or at least that's who you're supposed to be." He glanced at the man accompanying Raquel. "And Clint Eastwood?" The two nodded, smiles on their faces. Holly shook her head. "But you're younger - like from the early seventies?" Clint grinned. "But you still don't know who we really are, do you?" Jeff shook his head. "I give up. Your makeup and costumes are ... too good." Raquel laughed, a pleasant friendly sound. "We can thank Fred for that." She glanced up at her partner. "Right, Amy?" Holly's and Jeff's jaws dropped. "Amy?" they both asked, staring at Clint. They turned to Raquel. "Rich?" The two stars smiled. "We decided to ... swap ... for the evening. To make it harder for people to guess." "So," Holly said slowly, "how ... far ... ?" Clint smiled knowingly. "Do the changes go?" she finished Holly's unspoken thoughts. "All the way." Clint leaned closer to Holly. "To be honest, I'm going to try to get her drunk so I can seduce her later!" he said with a wicked grin and a laugh. Raquel grinned. "I heard that," she giggled. Then she turned to Holly and Jeff. "You know, I'm having a lot of fun. You know - all the attention because I'm a sexy broad." Then she frowned as she glanced at Jeff and Holly's breasts. "But somehow, now I feel kind of ... inadequate!" She arched her back to make her breasts jut forward. Even then, they paled in comparison to the large bosoms of Jeff and Holly. "So what, exactly, are you?" Clint asked in a perplexed voice. "Some kind of Star Trek transporter accident?" Jeff grinned. "There was an old B sci-fi movie where a scientist merged two bodies. I thought the two heads would be a nice added touch." "So how far did you go with the merger?" Raquel asked with a wink. Jeff's jaw dropped momentarily, then he frowned. "That's kind of personal." Holly just laughed. "This is going to sound really weird and kinky, but we've got both." Raquel's eyes widened, as did Clint's. "You're a lot more creative than we were," Raquel said in an awed voice. Clint peered up and down their body. "Can I see?" he finally blurted plainly. "What?" Clint glanced at Holly and shrugged. "Can I see?" he repeated. "I mean, we went to school together," he said to Holly. "We did PE together. Remember, it's Amy in here," he added. Raquel took another sip of wine, then she grabbed Clint's hand. "Listen, you lecherous bastard," she said in a sweet yet firm tone, "if you're going to start gawking at anybody's body around here, it better be mine!" She took Clint's arm and the two melted into the crowd. "I'm not feeling so good," Holly said after a moment's quiet. "My stomach feels a bit upset." Jeff rolled his eyes. "That's because you're mixing wine and beer," he answered sarcastically. Holly turned and glared at him. "Who's mixing? Seems to me I was the first one to get a drink. And it wouldn't be so bad if you weren't pouring the beer down." Jeff ignored her comment. He gazed over the crowd. "I'd like to dance." He started walking toward a girl standing alone. Holly frowned. The walk turned to a drunken stagger as she fought Jeff for control. "You only dance with me," she protested. "Or that's what you said!" Jeff stopped. "And I'll still be dancing with you," he said, trying to sound reassuring. "But right now, we kind of need a partner." "So why does it have to be a girl?" Holly asked, her words slurred ever so slightly. "Why can't it be a guy?" "I'm not dancing with a guy!" Jeff protested. He turned back, and saw that the girl was gone. "Now she's gone," he complained. "Serves you right," Holly said sternly. "Okay. Can we please ask someone to dance?" Jeff changed tactics quickly. Holly seemed taken aback, then she nodded slightly. "Okay. That's better." She glanced around the room. "Yes, we can dance." "Excuse me," a sultry voice said from beside Jeff, causing he and Holly to turn quickly. With the alcohol in their system, they swayed and staggered just a bit. They found themselves staring at a lithe dark-haired girl with Goth makeup and wearing a sexy low-cut long black dress. She looked like a vampire, complete to the red stains around her lips. "Would you like to dance with me?" Jeff's eyes bulged out at the valley of cleavage the girl was showing, and he nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah," he said. He offered an arm to the girl. "Wait a minute," Holly protested. "Don't I get some say in who we dance with?" Jeff stared at her for a moment; it was clear he hadn't considered _that_ angle. After all, he had asked if they could dance with someone, and she'd agreed. "Oh? I suppose you want to dance with some guy?" Holly glared at him. "You could at least ask." Jeff glanced defiantly at her. "I _did_ ask. And you said okay." He turned back to watch the backside of the vampire girl, who was holding their hand and leading them to the dance floor. She had a shapely figure, and Jeff was finding himself getting turned on just following the wiggle of her rear. Just as they reached the dance floor, the song ended. The vampire smiled, indicating that they should wait for the next song. As soon as it started, the vampire girl started swaying to the music, dancing rhythmically and seductively beside Jeff and Holly. Jeff tried to dance as well, but he could tell Holly was not cooperating. The result was some kind of monstrous drunken stumble around the dance floor. Given that it was Halloween, and given their 'costume', it somehow seemed fitting. "She's a little tramp!" Holly hissed in Jeff's ear. He ignored her, watching the girl dancing instead. "Oh, great!" Holly sighed bitterly. "Now you're getting horny watching her dance!" Jeff turned briefly to Holly. "No I'm not," he protested. Holly rolled her eyes. "Then what are we doing with a hard-on?" she asked sarcastically. "And why are our nipples firm? Or are you going to say something lame like it's cold in here?" Jeff glanced at Holly, shooting her a look of disapproval. "You said we could dance. So why don't you just enjoy yourself?" He turned back to the vampire girl. Holly turned away from the girl, a pout frozen on her face. She scanned the crowd, looking at the costumes, scanning for faces she recognized, and generally doing anything and everything to avoid having fun dancing. The music changed again, and Holly was caught by surprise by a whiff of perfume wafting about her face. She turned and saw the vampire girl held close in their arms - or rather, as close as their bosom would allow. The girl's eyes were half-closed, and she was swaying very seductively, rubbing her own breasts and body against theirs in a very intense manner. "What are you doing?" Holly hissed at Jeff. She could feel the girl rubbing against the bulge in their pants, and it was alarming her. The girl looked up at both faces. "You know, I'm really glad I met you tonight," she said softly. "I can tell I excite you." Holly's mouth dropped open. Jeff's eyes widened, but he said nothing. "In fact," the girl admitted, "you excite me." "I don't follow," Jeff said cautiously. He wasn't quite sure, given their semi-drunken state, what this girl was implying. "I want you. Both of you," the girl said plainly. "You see," she blushed a bit, "I'm bi, and you two are so ... exciting to me." She rubbed insistently against their crotch again. Holly felt the surge of energy from their aroused member. It was startlingly powerful, strong enough to distract her. "You want to go to my room?" the girl asked seductively as she rubbed her breasts against theirs. Jeff glanced at Holly, and he could see that she was conflicted. The sexy perfume, the erotic rubbing disguised as dancing, the unfamiliar and strong sensations from their crotch - all of these were confusing Holly. "Let's go with her," Jeff whispered insistently to Holly. He, too, felt the powerful arousal, and he wanted - no, needed - to get some relief from his nearly overwhelming desire. Holly's mouth dropped open again. "But ... she's a girl." "So?" "So am I." "So?" "So, I'm not a lesbian!" Holly hissed. "But she wants _us_. And we're part guy." "We _can't_! It isn't right!" "Why not? We're horny. She's horny. She's willing. What else do we need?" Holly stared, open mouthed, at Jeff for a moment. "Just like a guy!" she snapped. "Thinking with your little head instead of your big one!" "And you know you're curious. Aren't you?" Jeff continued to plead his case. Alcohol had dulled his sensibilities, and he was being ruled by his passions. "You should try it!" "You're sick!" Holly hissed. "And I'm _not_ curious!" She turned away angrily. Then she turned back for a moment. "And anyway, it'd be cheating on me. Kind of. Somehow." Her last words were soft, stammered, uncertain, as if she were groping for some kind of sane argument. The vampire girl watched the argument as she swayed against them in time to the music. As it ended, she pulled herself up on her tiptoes. "I can see your other half isn't ready. Yet." She gave Jeff a kiss on his mouth. "But remember, I'm available if you change your minds." She lowered herself and sauntered away, her hips swaying sexily. She turned and blew a kiss over her shoulder at them. Jeff stood, watching her walk away, one hand absently rubbing their crotch. "Stop that!" Holly hissed at him. Jeff glanced angrily at Holly, then he reached up and pinched their tit. "Ow," he said softly, wincing at the same time Holly did. He'd forgotten, in the heat of the moment, that he was attached to the breasts as much as she was. "Good riddance," Holly said, her words dripping with venom. She made them turn and walk slowly from the dance floor. As they passed a waiter, Jeff snagged another beer. They walked awkwardly to a table and slumped into a vacant chair. Jeff set his beer down on the table. "You were going to cheat on me, weren't you?" Holly demanded. "But ... it wouldn't have been ... it was _both_ of us!" Jeff protested weakly. "It wasn't like ...." He stopped as he realized, slowly, how pathetic his excuse sounded. They sat in silence for a couple of minutes. Finally, Jeff turned to Holly. "I guess I did want to screw her. I would have, I suppose," he admitted. "I don't know why." "Because you were horny as hell," Holly answered. Jeff thought for a moment, pausing to sip his beer. "But I've never ... I mean, no girl ever got me so horny that I even thought of cheating on you!" Holly's anger lessened. "You're not used to having sensitive nipples that make you horny. And you're drunk." "_We're_ drunk," Jeff corrected. "We're drunk," Holly agreed. "But still..." Holly kissed him before he could do anything else. Given the proximity of their heads, it was easy for her. Her lips parted, and they began to kiss more and more passionately. As they kissed, a hand slipped up and began to caress one of their breasts, causing the nipple to instantly harden. Their breathing started to get ragged, and after a moment, Holly slid the other hand down to rub on their crotch. Jeff broke the kiss for a moment, and he burst out laughing uncontrollably, despite his best effort not to. "What?" Holly asked, annoyed that he was laughing in the midst of their rising passion. "How are we supposed to 'make up' with this body?" he chortled. Holly's eyes widened, then she started snickering too. "I hadn't thought of that. It's a good thing you stopped when you did. Before you got us too horny, that is!" Jeff laughed. "Unless you want to go find the vampire again," he suggested playfully. Holly grinned wickedly. "You keep up that touching and kissing, and I just might go looking for her," she answered. Jeff's mouth dropped open. Holly laughed softly. "I'm only joking. And anyway, you're getting turned on by our tits, so is it any wonder I'm getting turned on by our ... thing?" "Speaking of our ... thing," Jeff interrupted, "we've got to get to the bathroom before we have a problem." Holly frowned. "Yeah, I see what you mean." Then she wrinkled her forehead. "Which one do we use?" she asked. Jeff thought for a second. "The men's room," he answered as if it were obvious. "With tits and legs like this?" Holly asked incredulously. They started walking in the general direction of the restrooms. Jeff frowned. "But we've got a willy. We _have_ to use the men's room." "Why?" "Why? Because ..." Jeff thought for a moment, but no answer came to him. "Well, just because." "But we look like a woman, too," Holly protested. "The men's room is right here. And we need to go bad." Holly started to protest, but she, too, felt the pressure in their bladder. "Well," she said reluctantly as she let Jeff walk them into the men's room, "I guess so." Fortunately for Holly's sense of modesty, the rest room was empty. Jeff stepped to the urinal and, despite the handicap of having two brains trying to control the one body, and the unfamiliar pantyhose and skirt, he quickly got their willy freed from their briefs. A profound sense of relief flooded them as their bladder gushed its contents into the urinal. As the last few drops fell, Jeff noticed something. "What are you doing?" he asked. Holly's eyes widened. "What?" she shot back, her voice innocent. "You were ... playing!" Jeff accused. "You were going to whack off!" Holly's mouth hung open for a second, then she shook her head. "What are you talking about?" she protested. Jeff's eyes narrowed. "Don't give me that. You were going to whack off!" Holly felt her cheeks burn, and she started to protest, then she shut her mouth. As Jeff tucked things back in and pulled up the panty hose, she sighed. "Okay, so I was. So what? Can you blame me for being curious?" ********** "That was fun. But weird," Holly mumbled as they walked unsteadily off the dance floor. On her side of the body was Clint, while Raquel was on Jeff's side; the two were bracing Jeff and Holly to help them stay standing. The trio had danced - it was Holly's idea that they do a 'group dance' since they were both man and woman. Clint and Raquel had gotten a big kick out of it, as had most of the other party-goers. "An eminently practical solution," Jeff slurred with a grin. They sat down at their table and Jeff picked up his beer. "I especially liked the slow dance." "Well, they're playing another one. Want to go again?" Holly said, carefully forming each word. Her eyes were a bit glazed and her tongue felt numb, making it hard to speak coherently. She picked up her wine glass. "Too late," she observed. Clint and Raquel were already making their way back on the floor, and from the way they started grinding their bodies together, they appeared to be having sex while dancing. "May I join you?" The sultry voice was back. Jeff turned, and after taking a moment to steady himself and to focus, he saw the vampire girl again. "Sure," he said. The girl saw Jeff's eyes, then she looked at Holly. "Are you guys okay?" Jeff grinned stupidly. "Sure! We're just ..." His voice cut off and he sat trying to focus. The effort of simultaneous conversation and staring were too much for him. "Never mind him," Holly stammered. "He's drunk." She giggled. "s'matter of fact, so'm I." She giggled some more. She leaned close to the vampire girl. "We had a little bet," she whispered, as if conveying state secrets. "We wanted to see who passed out first." She giggled again. "Know somethin'? I'm gonna' win!" She grinned. The vampire girl frowned. "I hope you're not driving tonight." Jeff stirred for a moment. "'S okay," he muttered. "We're staying here tonight." He let his gaze drop to the girl's chest. "We got a nice comfortable ... cleavage to sleep in!" He grinned again, then fell silent. "Know somethin'?" Holly whispered to the vampire girl. "We've got a willy in our pants!" She giggled. "I bet you thought we were just a girl!" She leaned toward the girl's ear again. "Know somethin' else? Jeff wanted to screw you earlier. He wanted me to, too!" Holly straightened her head and stared at the girl. "What's your name, anyway?" The girl shook her head. "Carol," she answered. "Let me help you to your room," she offered, standing and helping Holly lever their body upright. "You're pretty drunk." "Carol?" Holly mouthed. "Why isn't it something like Draculina?" With Carol's help, they staggered slowly from the party. ********** A fierce pounding greeted Jeff's mind the moment consciousness started to return. He winced, then he pried an eye open. The sunlight streaming in the open curtain nearly blinded him, and he clamped his eyes shut again. "What a dream," Jeff muttered to himself as he began to collect his thoughts. Slowly, however, strange sensations intruded on his mental awakening. He heard breathing close to him, and he risked opening his eyes again. He saw a platinum blond mass of hair beside him on the pillow. At the same time, he felt something heavy on his chest. "Oh, shit!" he muttered as he lifted a hand toward the blanket covering himself. Wincing, Jeff pulled the blanket back, and he flinched when he saw the soft rounded mounds rising and falling on his chest with each breath. He let the blanket fall. Slowly, to avoid the jackhammers pounding his brain, Jeff turned his head again. The mass of blond hair, he knew with certainty, was on Holly's head. Which, thanks to Fred's weird machine, was on a joint body. Which had tits. Jeff looked at Holly again. "It wasn't a dream," he muttered softly. The soft sigh on the other side startled Jeff. The quick turn of his head was rewarded by a ferocious burst of pain, and he closed his eyes and locked his