Ms. Yates, Chapters 6, 7 And 8 free porn video

Ms. Yates A Novel Chapters 6, 7 and 8 Six On a frigid morning just before the Christmas break, Tina came into homeroom and saw Deanna sitting at her desk, very pale, her hair stringy and unkempt, wearing no makeup and with circles under her eyes. "What's wrong?" she asked as she sat down. "Nothing. I'm great." The room was still mostly empty. "I know you are," Tina said. "But that doesn't mean something can't be wrong." Deanna turned around in her seat. Her eyes were tinged with red. She glanced around to make certain no one was within earshot. "I think I may be pregnant." "How late are you?" Deanna gave a wan smile. Tina shrugged and said, "I've read a lot. You do that with things you know you can never have." "A little over a month." She knew it could just be that she was late, or even that she might be skipping a month - her cycle still wasn't especially regular, even though she'd gotten her first period in seventh grade. But since she and Paul had done it, she was convinced. "I know it only takes once..." Tina started to say. "Uh huh. And we didn't just do it once." She answered Tina's questioning gaze by raising three fingers. "I know. Stupid to the max. What can I say? He really knows how to push all my buttons." Tina couldn't help but laugh, but she turned serious right away. "You need to see a doctor, Dee. Because if you're not, you can relax, and if you are, you can move forward with dealing with it." "I know. I've watched 'Juno' every night for the past week." "I love that movie. Does Paul know?" She shook her head. "Get tested, then tell him, then let me know what happened. In the meantime, you need to fix yourself up, or else everyone will guess that something's wrong. You want to use some of my foundation?" They walked to the girls' bathroom together. Most of the girls in school who knew Tina had grown used to seeing her use the girls' room, but this morning they ran into Mary Ellen Page. "The boys' room is down the hall," she said loudly when Tina and Deanna walked in. "Yes," Deanna said. "And I understand they're all lined up and waiting for you." There were stifled giggles. The captain of the cheerleaders turned on her attacker. "Don't get bitchy with me just because you can't handle finally getting your cherry popped." The gasps were audible. "You know, Mary Ellen," Tina said, "I looked up 'bitch' in the dictionary and there was your yearbook picture." "And I looked up 'degenerate mutant' and saw yours!" "And yet people like me and hate you," Tina shot back. Mary Ellen hesitated. "Maybe you should just go suck some cock before homeroom," called a voice Tina didn't recognize. Mary Ellen stormed out. She immediately turned to Deanna, who, the confrontation over, was now visibly shaken. "How did she know?" "She didn't. It was just a shot." But they both knew that wasn't so. Paul must have gone bragging. Deanna took the offered bottle of foundation from Tina, as they both had much the same skin tone. The first bell for homeroom rang. "Shit. Five minutes." "Just take your time and blend it. If we're late, we'll go to detention together." Deanna finished the foundation and applied her own lipstick. "Don't have any eye shadow with you, I guess." "No, but you can use my mascara." "Thanks." She gave Tina an air kiss when she gave the tube back. "I think you may be the sweetest girl in the whole school," she added. The second bell started ringing as they entered the classroom and they both managed to be sitting by the time it stopped. "Close one," Mr. Radisson said. There were a number of announcements, including one that the school paper was looking for volunteers. "You should do that," Deanna said as they got up to go to their first class of the day. "I bet you'd be good at it." Tina thought for a moment. "You know what? I think I will." After school, she went to the classroom where the meeting of all interested students was to take place. Ms. Gunderson, the senior English lit teacher, was the moderator for the paper. A tall, somewhat stocky woman with blonde hair and a squarish face, Tina thought her singularly unattractive. "I don't think I know you," she said when Tina walked in. But she instantly recognized the name. To Tina's surprise, her manner softened. "Welcome to the school paper, and I hope you enjoy working with us." Only a handful of other students came in, none of whom Tina recognized. Ms. Gunderson frowned at the turnout, but introduced a senior, Steve Gold, as the editor-in-chief. "We have something of a crisis," Ms. Gunderson said. "As sometimes happens with operations like this, which are deadline driven, those who didn't get their way have chosen to leave. Steve, who was a page editor last year, has volunteered to take on the job as editor-in-chief. He will be the boss when it comes to all editorial decisions. My role will be that of publisher, which in this case means that I am responsible for assuring that the content is appropriate to school standards, watching the costs and, because this is a student publication, teaching you all about writing and publishing a newspaper." They needed to assemble an editorial staff. That meant four page editors, each of whom would be responsible for the content and structure of their pages, including proofreading all submissions. Two junior girls, Amanda Broderick and Shawna Tolleson, and one junior boy, Matt Trumble, volunteered. "Anyone want to volunteer to be sports editor?" Steve asked. Matt raised his hand. "Okay, then I'll double as page editor for Page Two, our editorial page. Now, do any of you have any subject matter that you think you would really like to write about?" Tina raised her hand. "Do you mean just in school, or outside as well?" He asked what she meant by "outside". "Well, anything. Current events, issues of importance to teens, generally." Steve shrugged. "Always feel free to pitch an idea you have, but generally we focus on school news." Her first assignment was to write an article on new state testing requirements. Amanda Broderick would be her editor for it, and did not appear pleased at the prospect. # "Not good," Alyssa said with a sigh as they sat in Meredith's basement later that afternoon. "Amanda is best friends with Ruth Anne Page, Mary Ellen's younger sister." "What is it with the girls in that family and double names?" Meredith asked. "Anyway, do we have a problem here?" Tina wasn't sure. Steve had called her and Amanda over after the meeting and told them that he wanted the testing story to be the lead for the next issue, which he wanted to get out as soon after they came back in January as possible. Amanda hadn't seemed to like that idea, either. "It makes it hard for me," Tina explained, "because I have to be ready to write it over the holidays." "Dorothy Parker rides again," said Meredith. Tina laughed, Alyssa didn't. "Hey," Meredith said, suddenly attentive. "What's up?" Alyssa just shook her head. "Rick," Tina said as gently as she could. "It's nothing, really," Alyssa said. "I'm just not sure about it, that's all. By the way, Tina, what was that with you and Deanna Yardley this morning?" "She was a little down, and I tried to cheer her up." "So, a cat fight with Mary Ellen Page did the trick?" Alyssa asked. "Works for me," Meredith said. Tina got up to go, and Alyssa joined her, walking her back to the house. "There is something, isn't there?" Tina asked. Before Alyssa could answer, she added, "If you don't want to talk now, I understand, but let me know if you ever want to. I want to help." "I wish you could." # Mr. Caffrey, the school guidance counselor, gave Tina a rundown the next day on the new testing requirements that were to be standard across the state for all high school students. The goal was to raise the standards for all subjects, but especially for science and math. "Of course, for an AP student like you," he said, "it shouldn't be a problem." She was about to ask another pre-planned question when she suddenly thought of Ken. "What about someone who's not an AP student?" she asked. "The less capable a student is, the more of a challenge these new tests will be." "What about someone with real learning problems?" she asked. "There will be testing modifications for anyone who documents the need for them." She asked a few more questions and then thanked him for his time. She was just leaving the office when she saw Mrs. Delgado, the reading specialist, picking up her mail. "Oh, hello Tina. How are you getting on these days?" "I just joined the staff of the school paper. In fact, I was just talking to Mr. Caffrey about the new testing process for a story I'm writing." She couldn't miss the eye-rolling. "I couldn't help but think of kids who need extra help," she added. "But Mr. Caffrey said that there would be testing modifications for anyone who needs them." "Is that what he said? 'Anyone who needs them'? Or did he say 'for anyone who documents the need for them'?" Tina didn't catch the difference. Mrs. Delgado glanced around and said, "Walk me to my car. I don't want to discuss this, here." They walked out into snow flurries whisked about by a brisk, biting wind. "Documenting the need is kind of a code. Students who are identified as Special Education have an Individual Educational Program, and that IEP lists any appropriate testing modifications. But that's it." "What about someone like Ken?" Mrs. Delgado smiled. "I think it's very sweet how you two still look after each other." The smile vanished. "I can't discuss any particular student with you, but if you meant any student who has a need, even one that has been identified and has come to me for help but who has not been formally evaluated and does not have an IEP..." "Like Ken." "...then they are on their own." Anger began to rise in Tina. "That's awful!" "It's worse than awful. It's disastrous. Unfortunately, it's what the governor wants, and these days he usually gets his way." Tina scribbled some quick notes, trying not to let the snow ruin the note pad. "Wait," Mrs. Delgado said. "You're not going to write that, are you?" "Why not?" The older woman started to protest. "No," she said. "You're right. Go ahead, and you can even quote me." Her next stop was Ken's house. She called ahead to make sure it was all right. "I'm writing an article for the school paper and I wanted to talk to you about it," she said. "You're covering sports?" "No. It's about the new testing program. I found out something that will interest you." She arrived ten minutes later, her pink wool tam flecked with snow. Mrs. Carlisle shook her head as Tina pulled off the tam and shook out her hair. Tina could feel her disapproval. "Let's go up to my room and talk," Ken said. "Absolutely not!" Mrs. Carlisle snapped. "You can use the living room." "The living room's fine, Ken," Tina said. They went in and sat down. "Maybe you'd like to join us," she said to his mother. "It's about the new testing." Mrs. Carlisle had not heard anything about it, and she followed them inside. Tina explained what she had learned from Mr. Caffrey. She mentioned the testing modifications, and the fact that Ken wouldn't qualify. "I want your reaction for the article," she said. "I think we have to talk about that," his mother said. Ken shook his head. "No. Tina always said I had nothing to be ashamed of, and since I started doing things differently, I'm doing a lot better in school. Now, because of these tests, I could be back to having trouble again. Right, Tina?" "Yes, especially in math, where you still need columnar paper to perform calculations. Can I use what you just said in my article?" "No," said Mrs. Carlisle. "Yes," said Ken. "You have to consider what you say publicly, even in a little school newspaper that no one will see." "My words, my decision," he said, evenly. "Tina, if there's anything else you need from me, just ask." "May I use what I know of what you've done to improve?" He agreed. She stood up to leave, and he came over and hugged her. His mother looked away, clearly irritated. "If I hear about anything happening, like parents organizing or something through the school, I'll let you know," Tina said. # Two days after Christmas, she got a phone call from Deanna Yardley. "I'm pregnant." She had just heard from the doctor. Expected due date was July 14. "Bastille Day," Tina said without thinking. "Sounds strangely appropriate." "What can I do?" "I don't even know what I'm going to do. My mother wants the quick way out, as soon as she can scrape the 'Right to Life' bumper sticker off the car." Tina said she could call back in twenty minutes. "Mom, can I please have some of the girls sleep over?" Marjorie's eyebrows arched as high as they could go. "Just Meredith, Alyssa and Deanna." "Deanna? How does she fit in?" "She needs friends and support right now." "Why?" Tina clammed up. Barbara had been listening. "Rule number one, Sis," she said, laughing. "Don't ever mention to Mom there's a problem unless you are prepared to say what it is." "Well, I can't unless Deanna tells me I can." Marjorie explained that Tina's somewhat unusual status might give Deanna's mother some concerns about her daughter sleeping over. "Besides which, I thought you had said that Deanna and Meredith didn't get along." "Yeah, well, I'm working on that. If they can come, is it okay?" "No alcohol, no drugs and no sex. No exceptions." She called Alyssa first, and was alarmed that she sounded so down. "I broke up with Rick," she said. "It just wasn't going to work out." "But he was crazy about you, and you said he was so sweet. What happened?" "Long story." Tina suggested that maybe helping someone else in a bad spot might help her feel better. "Couldn't hurt. What did you have in mind?" When she heard the idea was for a sleepover with Deanna, she said, "Wow, you've really gotten tight with her lately, haven't you?" "She's really hurting, Alyssa. And you are so caring, I think you'd be perfect. Of course, we'll include Meredith." "What's her crisis?" Tina hesitated, but then realized that she had to tell Alyssa and Meredith for it to make sense. So, she did, after checking to make sure Marjorie was nowhere within earshot. "So the rumors about her and Paul are true! Shit!" "Is that a 'yes'?" It was. The conversation with Meredith was sharper, but Tina was not surprised when she replied with sympathy. "You hear about Alyssa and Rick?" she asked Tina. "I think there's something more than meets the eye, here. You and I may be working overtime on this." "Isn't that what best friends are for?" There was a pause. "Yeah, it is." # Four-twenty. That's what time it was when Tina suddenly awoke to the sound of movement in the hallway. She slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Deanna, and padded softly into the hall and downstairs. Alyssa was sitting on the couch. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Tina sat down next to her and hugged her. "Thanks for coming tonight. I think Deanna's going to be okay." "Her mom isn't." "Well, at least she can leave the bumper sticker where it is." Alyssa gave her a questioning glance, but said nothing. "You're hurting," Tina said softly. Alyssa shook her head, but Tina took both hands in hers and held them. "Yes. Meredith's very upset because you won't talk about it." "I can't. She doesn't understand. Neither do you." Tina held the two hands. "I'm sorry," Alyssa went on. "That wasn't nice. It's just that Meredith doesn't have any experience with boys." Outside, the wind had picked up. Tina went to the window and was shocked to see several inches of snow on the ground. Alyssa came to the window, too. "It's so beautiful," she whispered as she laid her head on Tina's shoulder. "I love it when it snows. It's as if everything bad in the world is wiped away, and something new, beautiful and white and clean, replaces it." "If only life could be that way." "Yeah." They stared for several minutes, watching the occasional gusts turn gently falling snow into blinding waves of white. "You loved him," Tina said at last. "I wish I could." She had expected him to be brash, arrogant, like he sometimes was in school. But instead he had been a little shy and very sweet. In the middle of their first date, at the Homecoming Dance, they had been dancing a slow number, and when it had ended, he had suddenly kissed her, but softly, sweetly. They had made out on the dance floor on and off the rest of the night. His brother had driven them home, and they had kissed the whole time. He had walked her to the door and they had kissed until his brother got irritated enough to honk the horn. "Our next date, he took me to the movies, and we spent the whole time making out. But he never tried to do anything more, and I suddenly wanted him to." "So, what did you do?" "What we girls usually do in such circumstances," she said. Tina waited, and she giggled and said, "Oh, you want to know what! "When you kiss a boy, you usually put your hands around the back of his neck, right? Well, instead, you very softly stroke the back of his neck with your fingers, like this..." She demonstrated on Tina's neck, and she felt a tingling sensation. "After a while, he gets very aroused." As had Rick. Softly, shyly, he had begun to caress her breasts, then kissing and nuzzling them. "He was so gentle," she said, suddenly wistful. "So very, very gentle." And so it went over the next few months. He began to touch her in other places, wonderful places. But he moved slowly, carefully. "I even told him my secret," she said. "He said he loved me, and I believed him. I thought he might be the one." Sometimes, she would get impatient that he moved too slowly and she would encourage him. "How?" "Well, one time we were in my basement, and I started unbuttoning his shirt. I so wanted to hold him. Another time, I started touching him - down there - while we were kissing. He loved that!" "Weren't you afraid that he might go too far?" She stopped. She was staring out at the snow again. Tina saw a tear form and begin down her cheek. "No, I had told him. And I had also told him that there was a limit beyond which he couldn't go. And then he did." "Did what?" "He hit the limit. Instead of touching me through my pantyhose, he tried to reach down inside my pantyhose." That had been a week before Christmas. They stared out the window for a long time, and it was now starting to get light. Alyssa was trying not to cry. "Please don't say anything else. Please." Tina led her back to the couch and took her in her arms. That's how they fell asleep. Seven The night before they returned to school, Tina received a phone call from Steve Gold. He had read through her piece on the testing process. It was well written, but there were some problems with it, so they would be leaving it out of this issue. "Maybe we'll get it in next time," he said. "Problems? What problems? Spelling? Grammar? Punctuation? Facts?" "No, Amanda said it was okay, technically. She just thought there were some fundamental problems with it. Anyway, we don't have time to wait for you to straighten it out." "I'll talk to Ms. Gunderson tomorrow." "This is an editorial decision." "Fine. You're the editor. You tell me what's wrong with the story." "You need to discuss it with Amanda." "I'm asking you to overrule Amanda, or else explain to me what's wrong with the piece." "It's late, Tina. I'll see you tomorrow." Meredith was convinced it was connected with Amanda's loyalty to Mary Ellen Page. Tina didn't rule it out, but in the morning she got to school early and waited in the office for Ms. Gunderson. "This is a copy of the article I submitted. Every person I've quoted has given me permission to do so. Every fact has been double checked." Ms. Gunderson tried to explain that she was serious when she said she left editorial control with the students. "Except that the editor-in-chief refuses to give me an answer as to what was wrong with the article, no chance to make a correction, and therefore no chance to get it into this issue. And I submit that this is too important for that." Ms. Gunderson suggested that they would sort it all out in the newspaper office that afternoon. And when Tina arrived, she found Steve, Amanda and Ms. Gunderson, none of whom looked happy. "I'm not following you," Ms. Gunderson said to Amanda. "You killed the story to protect the reputation of Ken Carlisle?" "Yes. He's got a great football career ahead of him, and we shouldn't be putting that in danger just for an article." Ms. Gunderson turned to Tina, but said nothing. Tina opened a folder that she was carrying with her books. She extracted three sheets of paper and placed them on the desk, one at a time. "Signed statement from Mr. Caffrey, attesting that he has read my article and it is factually accurate and giving me permission to quote him. Signed statement from Mrs. Delgado saying the same thing. Signed statement from Ken Carlisle saying the same thing, and also thanking me for writing it. "So, the problem is what, exactly?" Amanda stared at the floor. "I think," Steve said, "that Amanda deserves a lot of credit for wanting to make sure we don't imperil a student's privacy. But, in this case, Tina has certainly done her due diligence, and I think we should run the piece as written." Nods of agreement all around. # Word of Deanna's pregnancy quickly got around the school. Tina began seeing her regularly in the girls' room before homeroom. Invariably, she would emerge from a stall after a bout of morning sickness and say to the girls gathered there, "Don't get pregnant." "Turns out that Paul did talk about us doing it, so when it turned out I was pregnant, he couldn't turn around and deny it," she said one day as the four of them had lunch together. "Plus," Meredith said with a smirk, "there's this little matter of DNA testing." "What did his family say?" Tina asked. Meredith turned on her. "Why? You planning on doing a story on teen pregnancy?" Tina thought about it. "You know," Alyssa said, "that might not be a bad idea." "What do you think, Dee?" Meredith asked. "You up for becoming Oak Manor's own Juno?" Deanna shrugged. "Suits me." They all turned to Tina, who was frowning. "I have to think about it. If it's too much of a feel-good story, lots of girls will figure it's okay to do it because it's no big deal if they get pregnant. But if it's a real horror story, everyone will think it's just propaganda." "That's right," Meredith said. "You have a readership, now. Ever since your article about the testing, you're kind of a rock star. Boy, did those parents go shithouse!" Tina told them that she had actually gotten a bouquet of flowers from Ken's mother. "She likes you, she just doesn't want her son falling for you," Alyssa said. "But seeing your article rerun in Newsday must have been a real thrill." It had only been a condensed version, and it had run alongside the newspaper's own piece on how parent groups were organizing all over Long Island to halt the hastily drafted policy. Local politicians had been quick to get on board, if only to find a way to push back against the leverage the governor had built up in public opinion. "What did Newsday call your piece, again?" Deanna asked. "They called it 'The Shot That Started the War'." "Hope you kept a copy," Alyssa said. "My mom bought two dozen." She saw Steve Gold later that afternoon and mentioned the teen pregnancy story idea. He immediately got that panicked look that she had come to know well, usually when anyone suggested something more controversial than a bad call in the school basketball team's game. But after giving it a little thought, he said, "I actually think that could be a good story to do. But do you want to make it just about your friend? "I think a better idea would be to find other girls in the school who have been or are pregnant. Make sure their circumstances are varied - some comfortable and well off, others not well off at all; some whose boyfriends stuck with them, others whose boyfriends booked." Tina nodded. "And some who had their babies and others who had abortions," she said. "No. Don't go there, Tina. Not just because it's way too controversial for a school newspaper, but also because the whole subject of abortion is difficult, complicated and extremely emotionally charged." She smiled. Steve was a nice guy, but he was cautious in the extreme. He shook his head. "I know what you're thinking, but you're wrong. I think you are a really good writer, and a pretty remarkable person. But abortion is like the third rail - one touch and you'll be burnt to a crisp; everyone will be pissed." He suggested she go slow, get lots of good information, take her time, and then be ready to go with the story for the first edition of the paper in September. The following day, she ran into Ms. Gunderson, and she recounted the conversation. "I think Steve is right on all counts," she said. "And I look forward to having you on the paper next year." # The Saturday after the Fourth of July, the phone on Tina's nightstand, one of the gifts she had received on her sixteenth birthday, awoke her. It was dark, and the air conditioner's quiet hum was the only other sound. The clock radio read 3:37. She knew who it was. "My water just broke," Deanna said. Tina could hear the anxiety in her voice. "Pick me up on your way to the hospital?" "Okay. You sure you want to do this?" "I'm never going to give birth myself." Deanna sighed. They both knew that her pregnancy had made Tina acutely aware of the fact that, no matter how accurately she presented herself as a girl, there were certain aspects of female life she would never be able to experience. "I know. Pick you up in twenty minutes." Deanna's mother gave her a cheery greeting, a major reversal of the coldness she had shown her at first. But when Tina had volunteered to go to childbirth classes with Deanna, she'd had no choice but to relent. By the time Deanna had declared that she wanted Tina with her at the birth, her mother had accepted her as a friend of the family. Deanna was a wreck, and Tina immediately cheered her up. Mrs. Yardley was not pleased with references to Meredith, of whom she clearly disapproved, but she couldn't argue with the results - Deanna immediately began to relax. It was a girl. They'd known since the first sonogram, but Deanna hadn't been able to decide on a name. When the nurse asked Deanna what her baby's name was, she said, "Marie." From the moment she was born, Tina wanted to hold her, but she waited until the following day to ask. When she took her in her arms, she was just as stiff and fearful as everyone else. After a few moments, she looked down at the peaceful infant and felt a sense of calm. She shifted a little in her seat and slid Marie into a more comfortable position, her head supported by the crook of her arm. "You look like a veteran mom, Tina," Mrs. Yardley said. "Watch her," Meredith said to Deanna, "she may not give her back." # By mid-summer, Tina's hair was down below her shoulders, worn in loose waves in the back and sides. She was already noticing that she more than filled the A-cup bra she had been wearing since early spring. Dr. Fleming was predicting that she would be graduating to a B-cup before the year was out. "How much bigger do you think I can get?" she asked. "It's hard to say. Your mother is rather large, at a D, but your sister is a C. How are the other women in the family?" Tina thought carefully. "I haven't seen them since I changed," she said. She did not see Dr. Fleming wince. "But I remember that they were mostly like Mom, some bigger, some smaller." "Hormone therapy usually results in breast size being one or two sizes smaller than the mother, depending on genetics. I'd say you will definitely be a B, with a decent possibility of a C." Tina nodded. "My dear, please don't fall into the trap of linking your femininity with your breast size." "I won't." Dr. Fleming smiled and touched her hand. "You probably will, but maybe you'll remember. In any case, your body has adapted to the change quite well, so my main concern now is your emotional health. I want to include in our sessions some time to talk about your feelings, which by now must be getting rather complicated." "I haven't sorted out whether I like boys or girls, if that's what you mean." Dr. Fleming explained that that was only a small part of what she meant. She was interested to hear about how Tina reacted to her friend's baby, and that she was pursuing interests beyond concerns about merely being a girl. "I know that you will have strong feelings about the baby," she said. "I will want you to talk about that." "Well, she's beautiful and she's an angel, if that's what you mean." "That's what I mean." She had just arrived home when Jeff O'Malley called her to ask if she would like to go to a Met game. They would be playing the Braves. Thinking it would be a group of friends, she agreed. It turned out to be just the two of them. She offered to pay for the tickets, and he declined, saying that his father had gotten them through a business connection but, being that it was a weekday game in August, he couldn't use them. They chatted on the train ride in. He wanted to know about her plans for the school year, and she told him about the article on teen motherhood that she was planning on writing. "Not just about Deanna Yardley," she said. "I've already talked to several girls in our class and in the senior class. Do you know we have over a dozen moms in our school?" "And I haven't been able to meet any of them," he said with a sigh. She laughed heartily at that. He turned serious. "I can't believe how you've changed," he said softly, so as not to be overheard. "When you decided to change last year, I really wasn't sure you could pull it off. But I look at you now, and you have a nice figure, your hair is long and really pretty; if I didn't know you for years, I'd never guess that..." "Yes," she said, stopping him in case they could be overheard. "I appreciate that." "I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's getting so I don't even think about how you used to be. I wonder if, in time, I won't remember at all. Maybe I'll think that this is how you've always been." They changed trains at Woodside, and had to stand the rest of the way. She could feel the eyes of strange boys checking her out, poring over every inch of her. She had worn a pair of very brief white shorts and a tight pink sleeveless top, and she knew she looked good. They entered the stadium through the main rotunda. As they approached the escalators, a woman with a camera approached. "Hey," she said to Jeff. "Want a picture of you and your girlfriend?" "Um...sure, why not?" he replied. She stood next to him to pose, and the photographer raised her camera. But before she took the shot, she said, "Aw, come on, you can do better than that with a girlfriend that pretty!" Tina giggled and Jeff slipped his arm around her and pulled her close. She leaned her head on his shoulder. They heard the shutter click, and click again. "Got it," she said. She gave Jeff a card. "Check the website tonight. There'll be a link with today's date, and then you can just scan the photos and if you like one, you can order it online." The seats were just behind the Mets dugout. "This is awesome," she said. He was grinning. "Yeah, I thought you'd be impressed." The Mets took an early lead, which helped make it an even more festive atmosphere. In the middle of the fifth inning, the PA announcer said, "And now it's time for the 'kissing cam'. Be the most romantic and win a gift certificate to the Mets Store." Couple after couple appeared on the screen. Some kissed when they appeared, but most just looked stunned or could only laugh. Suddenly, they saw themselves. "You have to," she said with a giggle. To her surprise, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, and kissed her deeply. She held him, and the crowd started to react. "That's more like it!" the announcer said, and the crowd cheered. "Looks like we have our winners!" They broke the kiss and saw they were still on the screen on the scoreboard, inside a heart-shaped graphic. The game resumed and a young woman in her twenties approached. "That was great," she said. "Usually, we just get no reaction. Once we focused on two women, just as a goof, but then they kissed each other. The crowd was good about it, but we got some nasty letters." The gift certificate was for fifty dollars. "Thanks," Jeff said. After she left, he gave the certificate to Tina. "It was your idea," he said. She tried to refuse, but he insisted. After the game, which the Mets won, they stopped in the Mets Store and Tina bought a tee shirt and sweatshirt set. "I still think we should have split it," she said as they walked toward the train station. "We both participated." "I got what I wanted," he said. She looked at him, stunned, and he added, "I am now a permanent part of Mets lore." She smacked him lightly on the arm. But as they made their way home, she wondered. Is he starting to like me? # With the start of the school year came a new editorial staff of the school paper. Matt Trumble was named editor-in-chief, while Amanda and Shawna remained page editors. Tina was promoted to page editor as well. "Who's going to edit my article on teen mothers?" she asked. "You can do that yourself," Matt replied. "I'm fine editing someone else's work," she said even before she noticed Amanda's and Shawna's angry looks, "but no one should edit their own work." "Quite right," Ms. Gunderson said. "Why don't we have Amanda do it, since she'll be handing page one and this should be a page one piece." "Works for me," Amanda said, as Matt quickly agreed. Tina still remembered the scuffle over the testing piece, and so wasn't looking forward to dealing with Amanda again, but when she submitted it, Amanda made some minor cuts for space reasons and otherwise left it intact. Tina had decided from the beginning that she would not name anyone, not even identifying what year they were in. She worked hard to keep her own feelings out of it when she wrote about Deanna, but admitted that she hadn't totally succeeded. But Ms. Gunderson was impressed at the variety of stories she had told, from Deanna's supportive parents and comfortable surroundings that would allow her to not only finish high school but also go on to college, to the gut-wrenching case of one girl who's family had ignored her wishes and put the baby up for adoption, not telling her until after the little boy had already been taken. She had not mentioned abortion, but she had alluded to it, mentioning two girls who had chosen "other alternatives". She had ended the piece by mentioning the services that were available for girls who were pregnant, and quoted several agency heads and social workers in urging girls who were pregnant to seek appropriate medical help and take steps to assure giving birth to a healthy baby. Three days after the paper came out, she was summoned to the principal's office. When she arrived, she saw not only Ms. Barnes, but Mr. Rodriguez, Ms. Gunderson, Shawna and Amanda. "Would you like to guess how many letters, calls and e-mails I've gotten since your piece came out on Monday, Ms. Yates?" Ms. Barnes asked. "Over two hundred. Would you like to guess how many of them were complimentary?" It was a moment before Tina realized she was waiting for an answer. She decided to low-ball her guess. "Fifty?" "Six." "I guess I hit a nerve," Tina said. "Oh, you most certainly did." "I wasn't apologizing. That was a good piece. It needed to be written. One of the mothers in it is a very good friend of mine and..." "Yes, I assumed Ms. Yardley was included," Ms. Barnes said. "If I may say so, Ms. Barnes, preaching abstinence isn't working. Teaching birth control isn't working. I saw a really nice young girl's life turned upside down because of one mistake." "I heard it was more like three or four," Shawna said. "That's enough of that!" Ms. Barnes said, angry now. "Ms. Barnes," Tina said, "May I say something? Just because somebody gets mad at an article doesn't mean the article was a bad idea. I decided to write this piece last spring, and I spent all spring and summer working on it. I stand by everything I wrote. It needed to be written. The girls in this school needed to read it, because the consequences of getting pregnant aren't real to them when they engage in sex with their boyfriends. All they know is desire. Something has to make those consequences real, and I think an article from one of them has the best chance of doing that." "Except, you're not really one of them," Mr. Rodriguez said with a sneer. There was only stunned silence. "You know," Tina said after a moment, "I was wondering how long it would be before you threw that in my face. I'm not a genetic girl, that's true, and I never will be. That's the single most painful fact of my life. When I hold Deanna's baby, she always turns her head to suckle at my breast, but I'll never give birth to a baby of my own. I don't need you to remind me of that. "But I am living as a girl, and I feel things as a girl, and I was there when a good friend gave birth before she turned sixteen, and I'm telling you that you are failing these kids. You're not reaching us because you don't listen to us." He started to answer, but Ms. Barnes cut him off. "I think you've said enough, Mr. Rodriguez. Please return to your office, and we'll discuss this later." And he left. "Ms. Yates, I did not call you here to express anger, only to let you know that your story was wider reaching than perhaps you intended, and to make certain that you are aware of this when writing in the future." # "Rodriguez has to go!" Meredith fumed when Tina told her about the meeting. "He's a homophobe and a bigot." "And a bully," Alyssa added. "Rick told me that Barnes hates him." Tina glanced up. "You two on again?" "No, just kind of friends. I feel badly about it, because I think I hurt him. So, when he calls me to talk, I do. I don't know, maybe I'm just making things worse." Meredith wanted to know what Matt had said. "He wasn't there. Amanda told me after the meeting that he had gone home sick after hearing that Barnes wanted us all in her office. She and Shawna found that very amusing." "Why?" Meredith asked. Tina shrugged. "He always sticks up for me against them, even if I don't really need it. They're both getting bitter and taking it out on me." "You know," Alyssa said, "I've been thinking, ever since we all got together to support Tina, that there really should be some kind of LGBT organization for kids in this school." "Please!" Meredith snorted. "All Tina did was write about teen moms, like they might actually be human and have feelings, and they wanted to heat up the oil." Alyssa pointed out that Ms. Barnes had been supportive. "Yeah," Tina said, "but only in the sense that she didn't beat up on us. You don't see her taking out ads in Newsday about what a great kid Deanna is, or how hard she's working to learn to be a good mom." "But if you had an organization, you might be able to do something about Rodriguez," Alyssa pressed. "The kids for the most part accept Tina, and they accept you, Meredith." Eight The next afternoon, she walked into the newspaper office and discovered that Amanda and Shawna had resigned. No reason had been given. Except for two contributors who were seniors and who wanted no part of anything other than contributing articles, the rest of the student staff were all freshmen and sophomores. "What I want to do," Ms. Gunderson said, "is to name TinaMarie assistant editor-in-chief and choose a couple of page editors from the most promising sophomores." "Whaddaya say?" Matt asked Tina. "Ready to be my girl Friday?" For the next couple of issues, it would really be the two of them doing the bulk of the work and teaching the newcomers when time allowed. The hope was that by the final issue of the year, the load would be evened out. Tina agreed. Lyle Cavanaugh and Brad Dominique were the only two sophomores that Tina could recommend as page editors, so Matt accepted them. But as they worked through the December issue, it became obvious that they weren't anywhere near ready to take on editorial responsibilities. "Good issue," Ms. Gunderson said to Tina the day it came out. "Only one thing wrong with it. You don't have an article in it." "Maybe," she said as a joke, "I'll have an article on transgendered students in the next issue." "Maybe you should." But as the school year headed into the Christmas break, Tina had only one thing on her mind. Marjorie had suggested that the three of them spend the holidays on a Caribbean cruise. They had found one that left from Fort Lauderdale two days after Christmas and arrived back the day after New Years. "I'd have preferred one that included both holidays," Marjorie said, "but I'll take what I can get." Tina was thrilled to be able to get away at all, regretting only the fact that she was leaving her three best friends behind. "Do me one favor," Meredith had said. "Just don't think about anything here. Not me, not Alyssa, not the school. Go fall in love with someone." A major shopping spree preceded the trip, especially since Tina had graduated to a B-cup. Barbara pressed her to purchase some new bikinis (which she immediately reinforced with spandex panels in the crotch), but there were also some very nice dresses, shoes and accessories. Marjorie had decided to leave Christmas Day. They got a flight to Florida in mid-morning, and by midafternoon they had checked in to a hotel. "You know," Tina said, "I thought this would be kind of dreary and lonely, but it's not. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow." They were up at eight, checked out by 10:00 and on board by noon. Marjorie had booked a suite for the three of them. At dinner they found they were at a table with another family of three - Dick and Lily Cooke and their fourteen-year-old son, David. The first stop was a tiny island off the coast of Haiti, and the Cookes wondered what they planned on doing. "Tina has talked us into going parasailing," Marjorie said. "Well!" Lily gasped. "That should be an adventure." # It was a sparkling day, with whitecaps in the bay adding to the picturesque setting. Once ashore, they easily found the dock from which the boat for parasailing would leave, and there was a small group already there - a couple in their fifties, two women about sixty and a young guy who appeared to Barbara's age. As they settled in the stern of the boat, Tina found herself glancing over at him and then looking away quickly when he caught it. The third time he smiled at her, making her blush and smile back. A girl in her twenties was working as crew, and as the boat pulled out into the bay, she explained how the parasailing harness would work. Two people would go up at a time. "What if we're three?" Tina asked. "Then two go one time and one goes another time with someone else," she said, her gaze flickering momentarily over to the boy. He caught it. "Don't worry, I'll be glad to go with you," he said. By now the boat was picking up speed and they realized how rough the water was. Tina felt herself getting nauseous, and the boy came over and took the seat next to her. "There are two basic rules about seasickness," he said. "The first is to look out over the water, so that you can see the motion as well as feel it. Do that and your stomach will settle." She turned and stared intently at the horizon. After a while the nausea faded. "What's the second rule?" she asked. "Be the first to go up. It will relax you." She glared at him, but he only smiled. "I wouldn't tease a nice girl like you," he added. But she still looked doubtful. "Tell you what; come up with me on the first ride, and if you don't absolutely love it, I will go to anything you want after dinner tonight. But if you do, you have to go to anything I want. Deal?" She had to laugh. "Yeah, okay. Deal." When the boat slowed down and they got into the harness, it started bobbing in the rough water and she began to question her decision. Both Marjorie and Barbara looked green, so they were no help at all. As they perched on the rear deck of the boat, it picked up speed and she felt the bottom drop out of her stomach as the chute and harness yanked them aloft but then all became calm. "Okay?" he asked. "Yeah. This is great." "It gets better." The heavy line attached to the harness was being slowly let out, and the boat and the water began to drop away. He introduced himself as Doug. "One other thing," he said. "The bay is really choppy today, so after a while, the harness will start to swing. Just think of it as a swing in a playground and you'll be fine." "Sounds like you've done this before." "Many times. I never miss a chance to parasail, even at bad times of the year for it, like now. Summer is best, because the water is usually much calmer, except if there's been a hurricane around." By now they were a few hundred feet in the air. The harness was swinging, but Tina didn?t mind. She peered over toward the island, admiring its rocky spine and the surrounding beaches. ?It?s beautiful!? ?Told you. See the lagoon down there? You can lie on a float there for hours and not move, it?s so calm.? ?Is that what you do after one of these?? ?Hell, no. I?m much too restless for that. There are trails that lead up toward the hills, really great for hiking. Think you might be up to it?? She turned to face him, smiled and nodded. It was then that she noticed the boat seemed to be getting larger. ?Yeah, they?re reeling us in. Five minutes is all you get, I?m afraid. Sorry you came?? ?Are you kidding? This is awesome!? Marjorie looked a little worse when they got back on the boat, and the two older women went next, followed by the other couple. When Marjorie and Barbara finally went up, they returned looking completely drained. ?What fun,? Marjorie groaned. ?Mom, it was awesome!? Tina said. Once back on land, Doug repeated his recommendation of floats in the lagoon as a good way to relax, and rented floats for Marjorie and Barbara. He then asked if Tina could join him for the rest of the day. ?My name is Doug Ruggiano,? he said to Marjorie. ?I?m staying in room 924. My parents are Anthony and Elsie Ruggiano, and they?re in 922. I promise I?ll have Tina back on board long before we sail.? # The trail led away from the beach and steadily up a moderate grade. Young children dashed along the trail for a while, but it was soon quiet except for the murmur of distant voices punctuated by the occasional shout and the steady melodies of steel drums. He was from Chicago but was currently living in New Orleans, a sophomore at Tulane. Having gotten used to Louisiana in the winter, he had been relieved when his parents had proposed a week in the Caribbean instead of the suburbs of Chicago. ?I?m from New York ? well, Long Island, actually ? and I?m still in high school.? ?Senior?? She flushed. ?No, junior.? She told him about the paper, about her two big stories, and about her friends. She told him about Meredith and the fact that she was a lesbian, but the revelation about herself died in her throat. ?So,? she said, ?are you related to Justin Ruggiano on the Marlins?? ?No,? he laughed. ?But that?s a cute way to let me know you?re a baseball fan. I take it you root for those ragamuffins, the Mets. My sympathies.? ?Oh, like the Cubs have done anything in the last hundred years!? He laughed even harder. ?Nice try, but actually I?m a White Sox man. Only truly dysfunctional people follow the Cubs.? They were high enough to have a panoramic view of the entire bay, including their ship and another anchored nearby. ?I wonder where the houses are,? she said. ?The only houses are those built and maintained by the cruise line, which owns the island.? ?What about all the people working down there, on the beach and at the kiosks?? He explained that all the people they saw lived on Haiti, and they came by boat each day a ship was in to work and run their little shops. In the evening, after the ships sailed, they returned to Haiti. ?You?ll see when we sail,? he said. ?So, to what am I to be sentenced tonight?? she asked. ?You like dancing?? ?I thought it was to be your choice, since I did enjoy myself as you said.? ?It is, but that doesn?t mean you have to hate it. Do you prefer ballroom or disco?? ?You know ballroom dancing?!? ?I?m a regular Fred Astaire. But I figure you?re probably more of a disco girl.? She nodded. ?After the show tonight?? ?I?d love to.? They made their way back down to the beach and then to the group of kiosks on the far side of the promontory, where the music was being played. He bought her some jerk chicken and a bottle of water. ?This is wonderful!? she said. ?It?s not bad,? he said. ?But if you join me tomorrow in Ocho Rios, I?ll introduce you to the very best jerk chicken there is.? ?You don?t want to spend the whole cruise with me,? she said with a coy smile. Her heart skipped a beat when he only grinned. By the time they were back on board ship, her strength was ebbing. She decided on a nap before dinner. Doug suggested a dip in the Jacuzzi to feel revitalized, and they agreed to meet on deck after she?d rested. They had just gotten out of the soothing hot tub when the ship?s horn blasted. ?Time to sail away,? Doug said. ?Come on.? He led her to an empty spot at the rail and they watched as the massive vessel slowly maneuvered out of the anchorage, easing away from another ship anchored nearby. The ship turned west and sailed along the length of the island. The steel drums they heard now were on board. She could feel his eyes on her. She wanted to turn and meet his gaze, but the island commanded her attention instead. ?Penny for your thoughts,? he said, sidling up next to her, his arm just touching hers.? ?I was just thinking about all those people, getting into boats to go back to Haiti. It?s such a terribly poor country. Each day, to have to cross the water to come to a little island and serve people and sell them food and drinks and trinkets.? She shook her head. ?Have you signed up for anything tomorrow?? he asked. She shook her head. ?Well, if you come with me, not only will I keep my promise of giving you the best jerk chicken you?ll ever have, but you?ll get to meet some real Jamaicans.? ?I?d like that.? # ?I think it?s serious,? Barbara said to Marjorie as they all got dressed for dinner. ?She got out the plum dress.? Tina pretended to ignore the teasing. But the plum colored sheath dress with a soft cowl neck and silver sandals with four inch heels, combined with an ?up? hairstyle and perfectly done makeup signaled that she was indeed serious about looking her best. ?David?s going to be crushed,? Barbara said. ?You?re both out of his league,? Marjorie added with a laugh. ?Where?s he taking you?? ?Dancing.? ?Not to rain on my baby sister?s parade,? Barbara said as she placed an earring, ?but there are two discos, one for kids 17 and under, one for adults 18 and over. I see a great divide that cannot be bridged.? ?Doug will find a way. He?s been on lots of cruises.? At the table, she saw that David was indeed crushed, his initial dazzled reaction to her quickly transforming into despair and lost hope. But her attention was diverted to his father, who was saying that they would not be going ashore in the morning. ?Jamaica is the worst,? he said. ?You can?t go five feet without being accosted by taxi drivers and people selling all kinds of junk. And they don?t take ?no? for an answer. Pushiest miserable people I?ve ever seen.? ?The first time we were ever here,? Lily added, ?an old man came up to me and said he wanted to give me something ? a little change purse, I think it was. ?No charge, you take? he said. Then, when I took it, he got all indignant when I wouldn?t pay for it! He made quite a scene, just beyond the gate to the pier.? ?Maybe it was just a bad experience,? Marjorie said. ?Street vendors in New York City can be very aggressive, too.? ?Not the same thing,? Dick said. ?These people are more like the old Squeegie Men back in the nineties. Or like the homeless guys you see in DC, the ones who act like you owe them something.? Tina tried to forget the conversation, but it nagged at her, and when Doug met her outside the theater as planned, he asked her what was wrong. She recounted the conversation from dinner. He shook his head and led her out on deck, away from the crowd. ?Jamaica is a country that struggles with its past as a slave nation. Slavery almost always leaves a very unequal society in its wake. In Jamaica, about a quarter of the population is educated and the rest are not, and the one quarter exploits the hell out of the three quarters. ?The people your friend was talking about are all from the three quarters, and just like the people you saw today, everything is a struggle. When I realized this, I was able to excuse their pushy ways because to them, being polite could mean starvation. Maybe you won?t feel that way, but you should at least keep an open mind.? She promised she would. He led her into the club. The host at the door knew Doug, smiled and bowed to Tina as they entered. As they danced, she let the music take her and lost herself in it. Doug was an excellent dancer, and they began to tease one another on the dance floor. When the music slowed down, she tried not to rush into his arms, and as they danced she felt like he was cuddling her. After the last dance, they went out on deck. As they watched the other cruise ship, off to port and a little astern of them, he slipped his arm around her waist and she leaned against him. ?You?re beautiful,? he said. ?Especially when you dance.? I should tell him, she thought. If he kisses me, I?ll have to tell him. He walked her down to the room. ?Thank you for a wonderful day and a wonderful evening,? she said, trying to hint that she wanted him to kiss her. ?No, Tina. Thank you.? He kissed her on the forehead. She giggled and kissed him on the cheek. His eyes said he wanted more, but instead he bade her good night. # Mr. Cooke was right. No sooner had they emerged from the entrance to the pier than they were inundated with offers from taxi drivers. ?Not now, maybe later,? Doug said as he led her by the hand through the thicket. Soon they were away from the crowd and walking along a main road. They turned left and followed a smaller road, along which there were a number of ramshackle buildings that functioned as a sort of marketplace. A boy about eleven rushed up to Tina, took her hand, and began pulling her across the street. ?You come with me! My sister has pretty dresses! Very cheap!? ?Whoa!? Doug yelled. ?Let?s take it?? He stopped, peering intently at the boy. ?Elliot?? The boy did a double take. ?Mr. Doug?!? ?You?re getting big. Did you say your sister?s here? Alana is back?? The boy looked downcast. ?Ah, that?s okay. How?s your mother?? ?She?s good. Come on, she?ll want to see you and your girlfriend.? ?This is Tina. Tina, this criminal is Elliot DePaul.? The boy led them across the street, into a narrow path between two buildings. When they emerged on the other side, the were in a jammed maze of shacks and stalls, each crammed with cheap, mass-produced goods and some handmade items. Here and there were stands selling food, and the air was already heavy with sweet and spicy aromas. It was at one of these that they halted, and a short, stocky black woman shrieked when she saw them and gave Doug a heavy bear hug. ?You don?t come for a long time, Mr. Doug! ?Dis your wife you bring wit? you?? Tina blushed crimson. ?Thank you, Yvonne. I hadn?t planned on proposing for a while yet, since she is only sixteen and we have only known each other for a day.? ?You move mighty fast, Mr. Doug, I know dat!? Tina realized the woman was teasing him. ?This is Tina, Yvonne, a young lady of culture from New York.? ?I can see she got culture, I don?t need you to tell me dat!? She lowered her voice, and turned to Tina. ?Don?t you pay me no mind, girl. I give him a hard time to keep him on his toes.? ?I?ll remember that,? she replied, and Yvonne howled with laughter. ?Oh, Mr. Doug! She got your number but good! Come, Miss Tina, we leave Doug here to maybe do some honest work for a change and get you something very pretty.? ?Oh! But I?? ?It?s okay, Tina. I?ve got it covered.? Yvonne led her around in back of the stand, over to another aisle of the makeshift marketplace. Soon they were at a kiosk ablaze in loud prints and vibrant colors, long, graceful skirts and dresses, peasant blouses and tee shirts. Another woman, who apparently owned it, started to say something but Yvonne pulled her aside and they exchanged excited whispers. ?You listen to Linda,? Yvonne said. ?She?ll fix you up good.? Linda pulled her in close. ?You don?t want tee shirts,? she said in a whisper. ?Very cheap. Shrink fast. Tourists love tee shirts and we sell dem cheap, but you smarter girl dan dat. Dese skirts, much better, and you look so pretty in dem. Come.? When she had finished, she had picked out three very loud skirts, all calf length, and peasant blouses to go with them. She was still wearing a long skirt and a white gauze top, and Linda suggested that she keep them on and allow her to pack up her white culottes and blue top. As she did, she saw that the culottes were not a skirt and she smiled. ?Ah ha! I knew you were smart girl! Keep de boys on dey toes. Can?t be too careful, girl!? Tina asked how much she owed, but it had all been paid for. When she got back to Yvonne?s kiosk, she saw Doug grinning. ?Now, you look like an island girl,? he said with a laugh. She told him about the clothes having been paid for in advance. ?Yeah, I did.? She turned serious. ?I can?t accept that,? she said. ?It?s very sweet of you but I couldn?t possibly?? ?We?ll talk about it later, okay?? Meanwhile, Yvonne had lunch ready, a plate of jerk chicken and rice and beans. ?Wow!? she gasped, her eyes watering. ?That?s spicy!? ?Like him,? Yvonne said, ?and sweet like you, girl.? While they sat at the stools and ate, other tourists came in. She could hear some of them haggling over prices with the owners of the other stalls, and the constant hawking of goods that tourists didn?t really want. Two men in their twenties came in carrying bundles of goods and delivered them over at Linda?s kiosk. As they unpacked more skirts, Linda grabbed three and went back out to some tourists. ?Here, my sister made dese herself,? Tina heard her say. ?It?s the only work she can do. You would help her so much?? One of the men turned to Doug. ?You want a ride back to the ship?? he asked. ?Getting very crowded out on the street. I?ll take you the back way. No charge, on the house.? ?You got a deal, Lucas.? He introduced Tina to him, saying he was Yvonne?s oldest son. ?So, how do you like Jamaica?? he asked her. ?I like it very much. Your family is very nice.? He looked her up and down. ?Watch out for dis guy. Sneaky character!? ?Yes, I know.? ?Next time you come to Jamaica, you come back, we have party.? ?I?d like that.? ?No ganga, Lucas!? Doug snapped. ?She?s a nice girl.? ?Oh, I can see dat. I can see dat plain as day.? They cut through the marketplace to an overgrown lot in the back. A collection of banged up taxis stood there, their drivers scattered about, laughing and joking. Seeing them, several drivers rushed out to offer rides. Lucas showered them with verbal abuse and they backed off. As soon as they were in the cab, Doug slipped his arm around her shoulder. ?Not good these days, I take it?? he asked Lucas, who turned serious. ?No, quite bad. Cruise lines talking about quitting Ocho Rios, going to Kingston or Monterrey instead. Everyone?s worried.? He pulled out onto the main road. ?Hear from Alana at all?? Doug asked. ?No.? They lapsed into silence as they approached the pier. As they got out, Doug handed Lucas a twenty dollar bill. ?Take good care of dis lovely lady, Mr. Doug.? They passed through the gate and moved onto the pier itself, but Tina stopped and turned back toward the town, leaning on the railing. ?Kinda grabs you, doesn?t it?? ?You were right,? she said. ?If you watch and listen, you really can?t resent some occasional pushy behavior. ?What is ?ganga??? ?Weed. Readily available here, unfortunately.? ?Who?s Alana?? ?Yvonne?s only daughter. She?s twenty-one now, if she?s still alive. It?s been six years since they last heard from her.? He stared up at the hills. ?She was the first girl I ever kissed. Well, actually, she kissed me. I was eleven, and completely smitten. She had just turned thirteen, and the nicest girl you?d ever want to meet, present company excepted.? She laid her head on his shoulder. ?One of the local boys saw us kissing, and she suddenly got the reputation as a loose girl. Older boys started harassing her when she came home from school, telling her it was time for her to lose her virginity. Lucas and his brother, Max, tried to protect her, but they couldn?t be there all the time when she came home from school. ?One day, she didn?t make it home.? ?You mean??? ?Six boys. Each of them had a go at her. One of them got her pregnant, quick abortion. After that, no one else would have anything to do with her. Ganga is illegal here but very easy to get. She got into it, claiming to have joined the Rastafari. ?She ran away from home, landed in Kingston, lived and worked on the streets. She came back once, when she was fourteen, a flashy little whore. I happened to be here, and she offered me her services, but I declined.? She kissed his shoulder. ?It must be hard coming back here.? ?Nope. I just hate what happened to Alana. And I always remember the tendency that people have to pull someone down rather than to build them up. The effort required for each is about the same, you?d think the latter would be preferred.? She turned to face the hills. ?Thank you for bringing me here,? she said. ?And thank you for the purchases. I feel better now that I know they had a dual purpose.? She came back on deck at five, when the ship was sailing, but she could not find him. So she watched alone as Ocho Rios slid away. That night, there was a midnight buffet up on deck, including live music. They danced a little, then trailed off to look out at the sea. He was very quiet, and so she contented herself with nestling against him. ?The Jamaican look suits you,? he said. She was still wearing the skirt and top from earlier in the day. ?Mr. Cooke didn?t seem to think so. He and his wife seemed scandalized.? ?Of course. You crossed a racial line.? That?s not the only line I?ve crossed, she thought. ?Grand Cayman tomorrow,? she said. He chuckled. ?We?ll make it a bit lighter than today.? She turned to face him, gazed into his eyes and said, ?Today isn?t over, yet.? Oh, shit. I?m not nearly that bold! Am I? His lips were on hers. She had her hand on his cheek. She could feel the hesitation in the kiss. What had Alyssa