Bemused Chapter One
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Bemused - Chapter Two free porn video
"Power up. What, you don't know what a transformation sequence is?"
Chip rubbed his forehead. "Hoo, boy. We animal mascots have it
tough."
"You're not an animal, you freaky fat-..." Steve began.
"Pink sugar stardust SURPRISE!" Dirk interrupted. "Twinkie power
rainbow MAGIC!"
Mike and Steve cast baffled glances at him. "What are you doing?"
Steve said, aghast.
"I'm trying to figure out what our power-up phrase is. Lovely heart
dream MAKE-UP! Wonderful lyrical strawberry..."
Make it stop. Mike mentally pleaded. Make it stop. Soon, something
was rising in his throat. At first he thought it was bile, but the
truth was far more disturbing.
"Super Sentori...SUNRISE!" Mike exclaimed.
A hyperactive J-pop song immediately filled the air. White light
enveloped everything below Mike's neck, and with a series of blinding
flashes, parts of the light coalesced into pieces of his costume. Pop.
A pair of pink boots laced themselves around his feet. Pop. Long
white gloves slid onto his hands. Pop. A sailor-uniform materialized
on his torso. Pop. A cap blinked into existence on his head. As the
song reached a crescendo, a magical staff appeared in his hands. With
a fanciful musical flourish, he found himself lifting the wand into the
air, crying, "Asa Sentori! FIGHT ON!"
His cry was echoed by Dirk and Steve, who had undergone similar costume
changes.
"Shougo Sentori! FIGHT ON!" Dirk bellowed.
"Yuu Sentori! FIGHT ON!" Steve hollered.
After the henshin sequence released its grip on the trio's nervous
systems, they sighed in relief.
"'Super Sentori,' eh?" Chip said. "I like it...although that theme
music is probably going to get annoying real fast."
Steve blinked, struggling to avoid having a seizure. "Mike, could you
please never do that again?" he said, glancing down at his uniform. It
resembled a navy blue blazer with a red tartan skirt, both of which
were unnecessarily revealing. He was reminded why he hated anime; it
always put boobs before brains. "Besides, I don't exactly see how this
will help me in combat."
"Well, you are the only Sentori old enough for fanservice." Chip said.
"Makes sense to me."
Before Steve could respond, Dirk made a series of menacing gestures at
no one in particular, saying: "Your cruel transgressions fill the stars
with dismay! We, the Super Sentori, will fight to save the day!"
Chip winced. "Either my translator is on the fritz, or you really suck
at battle cries."
Dirk shrugged. "It's a work in progress. So, are there any bad guys
around?"
"Funny you should say that. Here, let me bring you to the next part of
the training course."
The trio hesitantly followed Chip as he led them out of the room and
down a sterile white hall. They passed by a multitude of doors with
signs like "Chibi Cryo-Storage" and "Unicorn Electro-Castration
Laboratory", all with peculiar noises emanating from within. At last,
Chip stopped in front of a door labeled
Combat Training Facility
MGVZ-5b
He suddenly looked uneasy. "This is where things will start to get
hairy. I'm not allowed to tell you what you'll be up against, but just
stay cool, and you'll probably be okay."
"But we don't know how to defend ourselves yet!" Steve protested.
"What are we supposed to do, annoy them to death with transformation
sequences?"
Chip sighed. "Look, I've worked with magical girls before. For some
reason, they never can practice their attacks first. They always have
to stumble around comically before they use their abilities for the
first time."
"That's stupid." Mike said.
He shrugged. "Hey. On the bright side, the only 'injuries' you
usually sustain are minor cuts and small rips in your gloves. Now
then, are you ready for this?"
"Heck yeah!" Dirk cried, throwing the door open and charging in.
"LEEEEROOOOYYY...."
"...Jenk...ins." Dirk murmured. The room was empty, save for a row of
large steel shutters mounted on the far wall. Thus reassured that
their training apparently didn't require actual training, his two
companions followed.
"Right, then!" Steve said. "You've shown us how to face our fears,
Chip the Wise. Now can we leave?"
The door slammed shut behind them, locking on its own.
"Like I said, stay cool," Chip said.
Shunk, shunk! The metal shutters slid open, but nothing was behind
them except for inky blackness.
Inky blackness...with a side order of three zombies. "Unngghh," one of
them declared, and they began shuffling towards the girls at a truly
zombitious pace. Steve and Mike began to back off. Dirk, however,
nervously waited until he could feel their rotten breath on his face.
"Uh...TOASTER PASTRY SUPER-PUNCH!" he shouted as he swung at a zombie.
His fist landed squarely in its gut, but it bounced off harmlessly.
"Ah, crap."
"Ungh?" The zombie inquired. It seemed to ponder the situation for
several seconds before grabbing at Dirk, who narrowly ducked out of the
way and fell on his ass.
"This makes no goddamn sense!" Steve cried as he dodged a lunging
ghoul. "Not that it used to make goddamn sense."
"Uh, Chip? Help, please?" Mike said.
"Nyaaah!" Chip suddenly screamed. "Nyaaah! Nyaaah!" He darted up to
one of the zombies and began scratching frantically at its face.
"Yowl, hiss!"
Mike blinked. "Wait?what?"
"I'm making cat noises," Chip explained. "I'm your animal mascot,
remember?" He returned to clawing at the zombie. "Nyaaah! Nyaaah!"
The zombie disgustedly slapped him away before heading for Mike, who
backed into a corner and held up his tiny hands. "Please! Couldn't we
talk this over?"
If the zombie heard him, it didn't show it. It continued limping
towards him in a manner that was somewhat comical if one thought about
it.
To Mike's shock, a new phrase grabbed hold of his throat. "MORNING
MIST!" he shouted, accompanied by a hopeful-sounding musical flourish.
The gem on the tip of his staff glowed. Suddenly, the room was filled
with a knee-high pink fog. "What the heck did that do?" he said to
himself.
He got his answer when he noticed what had happened to the zombies.
Their speed had been reduced to a crippled snail's pace. When he took
an astonished step backward, he almost fell over: his feet moved
through the mist like jet-engine roller skates. It took a few tries to
figure out how to compensate for his new agility, but soon he was
zipping around the room, laughing as a zombie face-planted trying to
grab him. Said zombie quickly vanished afterward, presumably to seek
jaw surgery.
Dirk watched this spectacle with simmering jealousy. Why did Mike
always figure these things out first? It wasn't like he was the one
memorizing all the lines from Lyrical Nanoha. He glared at a nearby
hapless zombie. If only he could take his anger out on--
"NOON HEATWAVE!" he blurted out, pointing his fist at the zombie. A
sphere of yellowish-white energy burst out of it and crashed into the
ghoul, throwing it across the room. It moaned in pain, then flickered
out of existence.
"EVENING BREEZE!" Steve yelled at a zombie struggling to reach him.
Purplish ribbons of energy shot from his fingertips. The attack
traveled slowly, but thanks to the immobilizing pink mist, the zombie
was unable to evade it. The energy bolts struck the zombie (un)dead-
on, reducing it to a heap of purple dust.
Silence filled the room as the three magical heroines took in their
first victory. Steve cast a worried glance at Chip, who hadn't moved
since being knocked over.
A few tense seconds later, Chip groaned and slowly got to his feet.
"I knew you guys could do this." he grinned, dusting himself off.
"Anyone want some Gatorade? We've got plenty more training to do, but
I think you've earned yourselves a break."
************
Meanwhile, in the Minato Ward...
Although he had only been in Tokyo for three months, he knew how to get
where he wanted. His wrist-mounted GPS was an invaluable guide, but it
only showed him the legal, safe routes. Sidewalks were for people with
time to spare. He, however, often ended up squeezing through
alleyways, vaulting over fences, and leaping across rooftops.
Amishiro Park was nearby. Resistance was likely; intel suggested as
many as six hostile entities were present. When he emerged from the
final alley, the sounds of chaos and destruction were abound. The
park's trees shuddered violently from the unseen struggle.
He gritted his teeth as he drew his side-handle batons out of their
holsters. "If only you could see me now, Asami." he muttered under his
ragged breath.
************
"Wait a second." Steve said. "How do we transform back?to our 'normal'
forms, I mean." Before anyone could answer, Steve found himself
declaring, "Super Sentori...SUNSET!"
Thankfully, there was no pop music as their clothing shifted back to
their old jumpsuits.
"Wait a minute!" Dirk cried. "I think I've got it! Mike can shift us
into Sentori form, and Steve can shift us back!" His face fell.
"Only...that reminds me ..."
"What is it?" Chip asked.
"Shouldn't we get new names? We're going to blow our cover real fast
if we keep using our old ones. Besides, 'Dirk' doesn't really fit me
anymore."
Chip rubbed his stubble-covered chin. "Good point. I'd been planning
to alter your profiles later this week, but I'll do it during the break
instead. Come, let us replenish our electrolytes!"
As they followed Chip out of the training arena, Steve gave Dirk a
vitriolic look. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
Dirk shrugged. "Hey, whistle while you work. Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-
dooot!"
"Oh, you son of a ..." Steve growled. Mike stopped walking and covered
his face, trembling from what could have been silent sobs or stifled
laughter.
"Beep, beep, beep!" Chip exclaimed as they entered a sparsely decorated
break room. "My sensors are detecting some serious animosity here!
C'mon, let's act like a team! Lose the hate and chug some V-8! We
don't have any V-8 right now, though. Stuff makes my guts run like the
mighty seas of Bloofaria...whatever the hell that place is."
Mike and Dirk headed into room, eager for refreshments. Steve,
however, stayed near the door. "Chip?" Steve said.
"If you check those cabinets over there, we have some energy bars. I
think those should still be good."
"Chip." Steve repeated.
"They're expired? Man, I'm gonna kick Paul's ass. Bastard promised
he'd restock."
"Chip..."
"No matter. See that mini-fridge? There's some drinks in there.
Sorry, no alcohol for you two?in my book, you're under 21. And stay
away from anything in a Burger King cup?that shit's mine."
"CHIP! SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!"
The room was soon filled with wide eyes and silence.
"I need to talk with you for a moment." Steve said. Chip hesitated a
moment, then cautiously ambled over.
Steve glanced at Mike and Dirk, who politely turned their attention to
imbibing large bottles of Snapple.
"This whole thing is fucked up." Steve said.
Chip nodded. "Yeah. What's the problem?"
"The problem? Oh, for God's sake, isn't it obvious?"
"Those boobs aren't as fun as you'd thought they'd be, eh?"
"No!"
"What, is it already that time of the month? I heard that takes some
getting used to."
"Ew! Jesus, no!" Steve's face was like a boiler about to explode.
"I?..."
"You're pissed off again about being turned into a chick."
Steve smoldered a bit more, then gave a deep sigh. "No...well yes, but
it's not just that. It has to do with Dirk."
Chip waited while Steve collected himself. "He doesn't have too many
people close to him." Steve said. "But Mike and I...there's a lot of
people who'll be worrying about us tonight. We had so many plans, and
even if we do get back to normal, I don't know how we'll pick up the
pieces. And Dirk, he just skips along like this is his dream come
true!"
"You make it sound like he's your sworn enemy. Like you're a Klingon
and he's a tribble."
"No, he's my friend...I just think he can be a jackass at times."
"Okay, so you don't like jackasses. Why are talking to me about this?"
Steve sighed again. "What I really wanted to ask is this: do you know
if Dirk was responsible for this?"
Chip cocked an eyebrow. "You think he dragged you into this on
purpose?"
Steve turned his palm to the side and waved it repeatedly in front of
his nose, as if he was fanning away some wretched stench. He had no
idea what caused him to make the gesture, but ignored it for the
moment. "No, no, no. He'd never do that....but I doubt we became
anime-style girls just by coincidence. I'm wondering if maybe
something in his subconscious triggered this."
A few seconds passed before Chip responded. "From what I know, that's
not possible. A fanboy can't force someone else into becoming an
Upholder, knowingly or not. Are you sure it wasn't your mind at fault?
Maybe deep inside, you can't get enough of 'Tokyo Mew Mew'!"
"No! Save for an occasional Miyazaki film, Mike and I never liked any
anime.
Chip was deep in thought. "Well, you were kinda slow in that training
round. So, you swear you know nothing about anime?"
"Nothing, except that some people have unhealthy attitudes towards it.
In fact, Mike and I aren't really fanboys of anything."
"That's...well, interesting." Chip murmured. "Hey, I have to get to
work on your profiles soon. Anything else you want to tell me?"
"Not really. Thanks for listening."
"Don't mention it. I'm your animal mascot!" Chip said jovially as he
left the room.
Mike looked weary as he took a sip of juice. "That's already getting
pretty old."
Steve said nothing as he sat down next to Mike and Dirk, his mind lost
in thought.
************
Chip whistled on the way to his favorite room in the facility. He even
preferred it to the rec room, which had a fuckin' badass ping-pong
table.
"But in my office, I can get away with downloading furry porn." Chip
thought as he eased into his swivel chair. His superiors put up with
it, at least to the extent that Childs had never complained. Maybe
Childs was also interested in furr--no, that was just ridiculous.
Childs had a very specific set of expectations from his employees, and
as long as they met those expectations, they had a good deal of
breathing room. Although he was a bit demanding about getting email
updates. Recalling the conversation with Steve, Chip booted up his PC
and opened the mail client.
-----------
SUBJECT: Code Epsilon Level One
Mr. Childs;
Steven Yale shared some interesting info with me recently: he claims
that he and Michael Tanner were not involved in any fan communities
prior to Incident M2. As per the Redundant Observation Procedures
Protocol, I've filed this as a Code Epsilon Level One.
-Chip Gilligan
-----------
After he sent the message, Chip felt like his head was chocolate orange
being knocked apart. If there was one thing he'd had trouble adjusting
to, it was bureaucracy. Bureaucracy was like waking up in a moldy pile
of leaves. Bureaucracy was like funnel cake infested by evil,
switchblade-wielding termites. Bureaucracy was like finding out that
your real name is "Ornithopter Higgins IV."
"Which reminds me," he thought. "Time for a little profile
reconstruction." This was always fun.
Opening a new internet browser window, he Googled:
"common Japanese names"
He looked through the results earnestly, only stopping to write down a
good possibility.
Elouise
- 03.03.2022
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