Delta Developement Chapter 5 free porn video

Chapter 5 My dad was a man's man and I knew he will never accept what I had done. As I approached the kitchen I could hear my mom and dad talking and laughing. I knew they were laughing about me. Not in a joking way, in a way that meant what a Fem! What a wimp! What a panty waist! As I entered the kitchen my father spoke first. "So, you're going to Tommy's skating party eh? Are there going to be any girls there?" he asked teasing me. "Dad its Joe's party. I am meeting Tommy to go down to the rink. Did mom say there was going to be girls? I asked defensively looking at my mother as I felt I was about to faint or throw up. I just knew my father was playing mind games with me. Setting the trap as it were. He looked me straight in the eye and in a serious manner said, "There is a serious matter I want to talk to you about Paul." I knew it here it comes; he knows what I did. He is probably going to send me to some psychiatrist to give me electro shock therapy or something. "Girls are quite different than boys Paul," dad said. Then he went silent. You could hear a pin drop in my kitchen right then. I was ready to confess. Throw myself on the mercy of his court. My defense would be, I was just curious. I don't want to be a girl! Suddenly he started up again. "They can be very mysterious. Just ask your mother, sometimes she knows what I am thinking before I do". Mom just looked at me with a smile and added, "Yes that's a feminine trait Paul. But some boys have it too," she added almost in a funny tone of voice. Ok, now it is going to come out I thought. Get ready for your humiliation Paul. "Yes mom," I said not wanting her to go any further. So, I did what as any mouse trapped in a maze would do, I changed directions. I asked, "Can I go to Tommy's now, it is almost noon. I mean Joe's" "Go ahead champ" my dad said. We can talk later. I thought to myself, maybe my mom didn't tell my father after all! No way he would be that cool about it. I grabbed my skates and ran out the back door. On my way out my mom said "Paul later on you can tell me and your dad all about the party and if there were any girls suddenly showed up, OK?". She must have told him I thought to myself. All this girl talk. When I got home that afternoon all they said was wash up its time for dinner. After a few days my mom stopped looking funny at me. Mom started to treat as she always did, with love and kindness. My Mom never mentioned the incident again. I was too afraid to go back up in the attic after that. It seemed the whole thing was forgotten. School started in September, and I was going to 14 years old on November first. I loved my birthday and it was the day after Halloween! That year Halloween was on a Friday night, which meant I could go out trick or treating with my friends and be out a little later than normal. I was going trick and treat and then have a great birthday weekend. I was all set with a cool scary hockey player costume. I had seen some old movie from the 1980's, which was before even my dad was a born. It starred some guy name Jason, who murdered people wearing a hockey goalie mask. My dad had left for a business trip to China for a few weeks that morning. I wish he could be home because he would love to see my Jason costume. My mom had to chaperone a fall Halloween festival party for her geeky 15-year-old Sunday school class. My dad didn't go to church so I wasn't required to either. Dad said he wore the pants and it is the man's prerogative to set the house rules. Besides, my mom knew I wouldn't know anyone, so she told me I could stay at my friend Joe's house next door until she picked me up that night. Mom made the arrangements with Joe's mom that I could stay there until 11:00 p.m. Joe was 16 almost 17 years old, so 11:00 p.m. was no big deal to him but for me that was late! I got home from school that Friday ready to go to my friend's Pete's house and trick or treat but was greeted by my mother with some bad news. "Paul there has been a change of plans for tonight" she told me in rather stern voice. "What!" I questioned her. "I have decided you are going with me this evening to the church Halloween party." "Why?" I yelled back at her. I started to protest when the hammer really came down on me. My mother in a loud voice said, "Young man, go upstairs and take a bath. I have already drawn it for you, so get going!" "Do not get your hair wet. I mean it do not put your head under water ok!" she warned me. "Just soak for twenty minutes then shower off ". She reminded me a third time; did she think I was going to drown myself? I decided I would put my foot down and started to protest again. Suddenly she exploded yelling at me and reminded me she was the mother, not me! And that I am expected to do as I was told. I backed down not wanting to get her get super mad at me. Well at least I am going to get to wear my "Jason" costume somewhere I thought. I will just scare the hell out of those goody two shoe kids at her church. I went into the bathroom, jumped into the tub not realizing at first the water smelled like a flower shop. I was going to yell down to my mother about it, but I knew she was not in the mood to argue. I just sat there being angry with my mother for changing my plans. I soaked for a good twenty minutes. As I stood up to shower off, I noticed the hair on my arms was gone. I looked down at my legs and they were hairless as well! I had just begun puberty, as I looked down between my legs that hair was gone too! I started yelling for my mom to come because I thought something was wrong with me. She greeted me by slightly opening bathroom door and with a calm voice said, "You are fine. Just finish your shower and dry off. Then go into my bedroom and change into your costume." I tried to tell her what was wrong but she said we can talk after she got dressed! I was hyperventilating thinking I was dying but I did as she said. When I got into my room I looked on my bed for my hockey costume, but instead there instead was a Girl Scout uniform! Next to it was the pink body shaper I had worn under her wedding dress six months ago. Next to the shaper were two fleshy colored things that looked like breasts. Along with white tights there was a sash with merit badges on it, a green beret hat, black girls shoes with a slight heel, a purse and something else in a package. There was a paper next to the package explaining what it was. It was called a "Hide-A-Way Perfect Panty," The paper had instructions of how to to tuck your privates up between your legs for that "Smooth Frontal Look". You could wear them as a panty or under a pair of panties or shapewear. You were guaranteed not to have a nasty frontal bulge! How humiliating! I yelled for my mom. Mom knocked on my door and asked if everything was all right? I really started to protest then but again she yelled loudly at me saying, "I am not going to deal with any missy fits dear. Follow the directions on the paper and then put on your Hide-A-Way, Then I will come in and help you get dressed properly. After which we can talk." I yelled, " I am not going to wear a Girl Scout Uniform!" I am not even sure how to put some of that stuff on!" All she said was "Really Paul you don't know how to put a dress on? My other choice is dressing you up as a bride. All little girls grow up wanting to wear a bride's dress. Would that be more acceptable to you? "Mom you wouldn't, you couldn't do that to me? Would you?", I asked in desperation. "I can and I will if you don't get dressed in the outfit I laid out for you right now! Or maybe I should just call your father and let him know what you were wearing when I caught you this spring up in the attic and let him deal with you when he gets home." "NO WAY I shouted" I couldn't let him know I had worn some of mom's clothes especially her wedding gown in the attic that day. I was in tears but said, "Ok, just don't call dad. I tucked myself then put on that dammed Hide-A-Way thing and the rest of the Girl Scout outfit too. I can figure it out without your help!" I yelled at her. A few minutes later my mom asked if I was dressed so she could come in. I answered, "YES". How humiliated I felt as I sat on my bed next two those two fleshy things as my mother walked in. I will refuse to wear them I thought to myself. I knew they were to be placed into the bra cups of my shaper to make it look like I had breasts but I wasn't going that far! The first thing my mom said was "Oh honey you look so cute! You are wearing my Girl Scout uniform from when I was a young girl your age. Now that is more appropriate then my gown. But you need a little padding up front to make your costume look realistic." "realistic, realISTIC! REALISTIC! MOM WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT! I WAS GOING TO WEAR MY HOCKEY UNIFORM BUT IT IS'NT IN HERE AND NONE OF MY OTHER CLOTHES ARE IN MY ROOM EITHER? REALISTIC!" Then my Mom said "Paul, I have thought and read about this type of thing for a few months now. I have decided honey, if you want to be a girl instead of a boy that is alright with me. There are ways we can help you change your sex. You don't have to be embarrassed; I am a girl you know and I love it! You are just starting puberty and if you want you could change your sex you still can blossom into a beautiful woman. If you just like wearing girl's clothing that's ok too". Mom added. " I had heard of such things but wanted to research it more. That is why I did not tell your father that day or since". Tonight, will allow you to see and feel what is like to wear girls' clothing in a safe environment. If someone knows it's you, you can laugh it off as just a costume. However, if it is more, than that we can talk later ok? " She said. "But mom I, I, I don't want to be a girl or blossom into a woman! I don't know why I even tried those clothes on. I haven't done it since and I don't want to be seen wearing these things. If I run into someone, I know and have to talk to them they will know it's me!" I protested. My mom didn't answer me but just handed me a lozenge saying I was going to get laryngitis if I kept on yelling so much. "Put that in your mouth it will sooth your throat," she told me. I unwrapped it and put it in my mouth. I couldn't believe my mom as she told me to unbutton my blouse and place the "extra padding" into the bra cups. The breast inserts looked huge to me. In reality they were the appropriate size for a girl my age, maybe a little larger perhaps. I did as I was told. They didn't make me look as big as her but they stuck out enough! The pressure was building up and I began to yell again and rebel against her again. "MOM!" I yelled mgghh "Mom!" I yelled again and this time I trying to clear my throat. "Mom? MY VOICE, it sounds funny. Mom my voice sounds higher, it sounds like a girl's" I squeaked. "See now, you don't have to worry about anyone recognizing your voice any longer sweetie. You now look and sound how a pretty 15-year-old girl should Sweet pea, " she said. "Your voice will return to normal in about ten hours. I bought a box lozenges for the next couple weeks just in case" She added. "No Way! I am not going to school looking like this or sounding like this! No way!" I tried to sound as defiant as I could. I looked into the mirror in my room. I looked and sounded like a teen aged girl arguing with her mom. "Follow me Paul and I will do your hair and makeup at my vanity," my mom said to me. "My hair? My MAKEUP! Please mom not that stuff too." I pleaded. My protests fell on deaf ears. She just pointed the way to her room. I knew I was defeated. I did not protest further; I just followed her orders. As I sat in her vanity chair my mother worked her "magic" with my makeup. Mom wanted a Smokey Eye look for me but not too much, whatever that meant. First some kind of eye lid primer, then concealer, powder, dark shadow, then smudged it. If that wasn't enough the she took a eye liner pencil to me. Mom curled my eyelashes next. I was afraid of that thing she used. Finally, she coated my eyelashes with two coats of mascara. Then she moved to my face using a primer? Followed with a concealer, concealer, foundation and a bronzer. Mom told me with the way she did my eyes and face a nice medium pink lipstick will tie everything all together. I would be the prettiest Girl Scout there! My mother gave me a tissue and told me to press my lips to take off any excess. When I saw the outline of my lips in the tissue. I felt an urge to start crying. I didn't because I didn't want to act like a girl. I asked her can I look in the mirror to see how I look? She said no, not until she was fully finished with me. My mother opened a package that looked like it was full of hair. It wasn't a wig but was hair extensions that matched my hair color. My hair was longish for a boy but not to long. I had wanted to grow it longer for a couple of years but my mom always said no. Now I know why she let me grow my hair longer over the past summer, she had been planning this since then! Mom weaved those things with my own hair using some sort of flat iron that sealed them to my own hair. When she was finished, I had hair longer than hers, my hair went way past my shoulder's. It reached halfway down my back. I was pulling on the ends of my new hair when I saw my mother reach into a drawer and pull out a dainty set of earrings. These are from when I was a young girl your age Paul. I kept them as a keepsake. I hope you like them honey. With that she removed my tough boy earrings and put her's in their place. It was common for us boys to have pierced ears by my age, but we wore tough looking jewelry not delicate stuff like the girls did. Now here I am with dainty little heart shaped earrings in each lobe. Then mom handed me a matching pendent choker, a bracelet and a couple of rings for my fingers. To finish me my mom reached out for my right hand. She gently began to file my fingernails. I assumed in anticipation of painting them. Mom did my left hand too telling she had to clean up my nails first. With that she took out of another drawer a package of expensive looking false finger nails. "But mom, those get glued on, right? I have to be in school on Monday!" I pleaded. My mom paid no attention to me. She carefully applied a touch of glue to each nail and pressed them gently over mine. When they fully dried, she painted them the same color of pink as my lips and told me now I can get up go to her floor mirror inside her closet door and see how my costume looks. When I did I wanted to hide under her bed. I looked like a true Girl Scout with emphasis on girl. My face, my hair, my dress and shoes. I looked like some teenaged girl slightly older than myself. My knees were knocking when my mother told me to grab my purse we are leaving. I slowly turned around grabbed the purse and slowly walked down stairs for my total humiliation that was to follow. My mom told me to go wait by the car she will be right out. I looked back to her with pleading eyes but she just said go outside and wait! I made my way toward the front door hoping no neighbors were out that could see me. Just as I reached for the handle and began to opening the door I heard the doorbell ring. Too late to shut it and when it was fully opened up and I was face to face with my best friend Joe! My knees began to weaken and I almost dropped over right there. He was looking at me like he knew it was me! He said, "Oh excuse me I am looking for Paul, is he home?" My mother was right behind me and said "Oh Joe, I am sorry Paul couldn't call you this morning". I thought she was about to tell him I was going with her to the church party dressed as a Girl Scout. "Paul's father is on a business trip to China and he took Paul with him for a few weeks. We surprised for Paul with the trip. I thought it would be good for Paul to see a whole new world. A world he didn't know existed but wanted to experience. This is my niece Stephanie Mangione, Mr. Mangione's brother's daughter. Stephanie is here visiting and is going to the church costume party. Stephanie isn't a scout any longer but I told her to bring a costume when she visited. Isn't she cute, Joe?" my mother asked. "Yes, she sure is Mrs. Mangione" Joe was trying to act like he was older and more mature for some reason. "Say thank you to Joe for his compliment, Stephanie," my mother told me. I was quivering but managed a "Nice to meet you Joe, and thank you for your compliment". I was still stunned by my voice. Why would I care how Joe thinks I look? "What grade are you in Stephanie?" Joe asked wanting to keep the conversation going. Thinking quickly, I answered him. "I am in eleventh grade, Joe," I answered, short and sweet I thought. Then I remembered eleventh grade is the same as him. Joe had already told me I would be interested in girls when I was his age. That's all he could think of any more. I started to think of what to say next when I noticed Joe was giving me the once over. Joe looked down at my legs and worked his way up stopping at my chest before making eye contact with me. Then I thought to myself, oh my god, he likes what he is seeing! Lucky for me my mother noticed also and chimed in, "Stephanie and I were just leaving Joe". I thought to myself that will end that. But then she added, "Would you like to come with us?" I could see him pondering the question and I acted fast to prevent it. "I am sure Joe has friends he would rather be with tonight." I jumped in. "Um no I really don't" Joe answered. NO WAY I thought to myself. I may be look like a chick to Joe, but I am a rooster underneath all this. I don't want him coming with us! "Thanks for the offer Mrs. Mangione, I do have some things to do this evening. I know it is Halloween but a few of the guys and I are going to be studying for our um..um big math test on Monday. I want to do good in school you know Mrs. Mangione. I want to grow up and be a good provider for my wife like Mr. Mangione is to you! Well I hope you have a good time Stephanie." Joe added sounding very formal. I could see Joe was eying me up and down again. It literally scared me! To my mom in his nicest voice Joe finished, "But if you come back early enough maybe Stephanie would like to trick or treat with me later. We are only studying to 9:30 or so. If its early when you return, I am sure the guys would understand Stephanie," Joe said in his nicest voice. I was moving behind him by this time and I looked back straight at my mother with pleading eyes of fear. "Well that would be up to Steffie, Joe." My mother replied. I wanted to say NO WAY but I was afraid Joe would know it was me under all this feminine finery. NO WAY! was a catch phrase we used. Again, I looked at my mom for help that was not coming, I said softly, "Well maybe I could go trick or treating, but that would depend what time we return." I squeaked out. O my god I thought to myself, I may be going on a trick or treat date with my best friend dressed as a girl scout! I have to make sure we stay at that party late I thought to myself. Joe said ok and turned and walked down the driveway. I walked out further on to the porch and I turned to watch my mother lock the front door. I quickly turned around and saw Joe at the side walk just staring at me. He smiled and waved good-bye and continued to walk toward his house. Joe probably thought I was flirting with him. Perhaps my mother did to because she said to me, "You know Paul that Joe sure is a cute boy isn't he?" Mom teased, "I think he was crushing on you!" "Mom, I don't want to date my best friend!" I said to her, not even reminding her that we were both being male. "I mean any boy!" I walked out to the car; not sure that Joe knew it was really me under this dress or not. That was stupid Joe likes girls. Then I thought to myself did my mom actually just try to set me up with a date with my best friend? As I sat in the car mom told me to keep my knees together when I was sitting saying, "Girls do not sit with their legs open Steffie. It doesn't send a good message". I just kept looking down at my legs sticking out from under the hem of a dress. I thought to myself, yesterday I was just plain old Paul. Today I am a girl named Stephanie wearing a Girl Scout uniform going to a party. If my dad ever saw me doing this I would just die. As we pulled into the church parking lot, I took one long breath and got out of the car. I saw a few kids who I recognized from school but were older than me. My mom stopped a few times introducing me as her niece Stephanie but I didn't have to talk to anyone. As we entered into the church hall, my mom told me it was in the reception hall in the basement. As we walked down the stairs to the party room, I almost slipped on the last step. I was not used to being used to the higher heel my new girl shoes had. Mom told me to walk with smaller steps and be careful. As we entered into the room it was filled with kids in all sort of costumes. All were very tasteful of course, this being a church group and all. One boy I noticed was staring at me funny. I was thinking he knew I really was a boy dressed as a girl scout. I was standing right next to my mom when I heard music start and a bunch of kids hit the dance area. Within seconds I realized what this guy wanted to do as he began to walk toward my mother and me. I looked to make an escape path when I heard. "Hello Mrs. Mangione, and who might this be?" the boy asked my mom. "Oh, hello John, this is my niece Stephanie, Stephanie Mangione, my husband's brother's daughter". I didn't like the looks of this. John was wearing a superman costume looking all macho. Well sort of, he was wearing tights too I laughed to myself. Of course not with a Hide-A-Way panty underneath, that was obvious. "My I have this dance with Miss Stephanie, Mrs. Mangione?" he asked my mother. Looking straight at my mother trying to plead with her again using my eyes to say no .... Instead I heard her say it would fine. I was quickly whisked away to the dance floor with a boy holding my hand and my mom just smiling at me. On the dancefloor I did not know what to do. I just watched a few of the girls and tried to copy them. A few songs later I was actually having fun forgetting I was dancing with another boy while dressed as a girl. After a bit John walked me to the side and left to get some punch. We danced a few more times and he kept getting me a punch after every break. After a few more of those glasses of punch though, I needed to pee really bad. I told John I needed to use the restroom and I would be back in a little while. I walked over to my mom and asked her quietly " Mom could you walk to the lavatory with me and keep guard. I did not want anyone to come in to the boy's room and see me". My mother said "Oh um, of course honey" and walked with me back upstairs to the lavatories in the main hallway. I started to go toward the boy's room when my mom said " Oh Steffie, that's the boy's room the girls is in the other door". I froze in my tracks. Use the girl's room "NO WAY" I thought to myself. I turned around to argue with her when I noticed the boy's lavatory door swing open and a couple of boys came out and brushed by me while a couple more ran in. I reluctantly started toward the girl's room when my mother caught me, putting her hand on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, "Now remember girls sit to use the toilet. When you are done use toilet paper to wipe yourself and re-adjust your Hide-A-Way. I will stay in there with you. You will need to redo your lipstick before going back down stairs. It seems you smeared it a little drinking that punch". How humiliating can this day get? I walked into the stall and looked under the partitions. At least no one else was in here. Looking back at my mother by the sinks I did as I was told. I pulled my dress up and my undies down and sat to pee. It made a weird tinking sound. I figured that must be what it sounds like to girls. I finished and after washing my hands my mom told me to look into my purse. I did and saw the lipstick in it. She whispered "Ok now take it out, apply it like I did it for you earlier, dap your lips on a tissue and please Stephanie hurry it up". My hand was shaking and as I raised the tube up to my lips, I heard the door open up and a couple of girls came in chatting away. To my shock my mom told me she will meet me downstairs and left abruptly, leaving me in there with those two girls. Both headed for stalls. I finished my lips quickly, dabbed them on a tissue and I made a beeline for the door. As I left the girl's bathroom I nearly ran right into John who had come out of the boy's room. "Oh, hi Steffi" John said. " Would you like me to show you some of the church? I know you are visiting and I could show you some of the "private rooms" he added. Before I could answer he added in a hushed tone, "There is a room down the hall where we could make out, no adults ever go in there!" "I don't think so John, my aunt is waiting for me downstairs" I said as I pushed by him and headed for the steps. He was a persistent one though and he jumped in front of me and said "Superman always gets his girl." I said, " If you don't stop bothering me, I am going to tell my aunt what you wanted to do with me and you will be in a whole lot of trouble!" With that said, he finally stopped pestering me and ran down the steps and jumped down past the last two! I stayed at the top of the stairs giving him plenty of time to return to the party I figured. This was getting too weird I thought. I started to descend the steps going slowly liked my mother warned me. I was day dreaming how would I get out of this mess. As I turned around the bend in the steps to finish my decent, I noticed John was at the bottom. Dressed in that stupid Superman costume with his hands on his hips in a classic Superman pose! I tried to ignore him and decided to speed down the steps faster as I could just run past him. I looked up at the ceiling instead of at him and made my decent. I was only three steps from the bottom of the stairwell, when my left heel caught the lip of the step and I began to fall forward. I was a pretty good diver so I tried to turn myself so my back was falling first. I figured it would be better than landing on my front. I twisted myself in midair and braced for my landing. I closed my eyes only to hear a "ughh? pop out of my mouth? I opened my eyes and I was staring directly at Johns face. He had caught me in midair I realized. I was being held in his arms. I was in his arms in classic " a bride being carried over the threshold style ". Before I could say anything, I saw his head lowing toward mine. I tried to turn but it was too late as I felt his lips touching my lips. What made matters worse I could feel his tongue enter my mouth and rub against my tongue and teeth. I was numb and just let John continue to kiss me for a minute or two. But then I felt his right hand start to move up my leg. John was probing under the hem of my dress, I knew where he was heading. I pulled my legs together tightly like my mom told me. He started squeezing my butt with the hand he managed to get under my dress. That snapped be back to reality and I began to gently wiggle to get loose. I didn't want to call more attention to myself, however when he wouldn't put me down, I started kicking my legs up and down to gain my freedom. John just wouldn't pull free from our kissing and all I made an "mmammmmggghhmmm" sound while I was trying to yell for help. I kept squirming even more but he continued the kiss me. Finally, I started to buck up and down violently and he let me down. As I hit the floor I looked down the hallway and saw my mom looking at me and then duck into the party room. I ran toward her frightened and ashamed at what just happened to say anything to say something to John. I was worried about how long my mom was watching me and John. I thought oh my god no; she probably saw the whole thing and thinks I like boys too! I ran into the room trying to remember heels first, heels first, I didn't want to fall on my face too. I probably looked like a girl running but at that time I didn't care! I stayed by my mom's side the rest of the evening. On the ride home I sat in silence. Too embarrassed to talk. My mom finally broke the silence and asked me if I had fun. I didn't answer her at first, I was stewing. Then suddenly I blurted out; "Boys can be such jerks mom!" We were at a red light and all she said was, "Yes they can be but some are nice." I knew at that point she saw what happened between John and I. We didn't talk about it, didn't really have to. When we pulled into the drive way I saw Joe running up the side walk to my house. He asked me if I wanted to help him finish trick or treating or just go for a walk. "Thanks Joe", I said, "But I am pretty tired and I think I want to go to sleep now." I could see I crushed his spirits and for some reason I cared. I decided to add "Maybe we could do something tomorrow morning instead". My mom decided to chime in. "Stephanie, remember I am taking you to one of my boutiques for dress shopping in the morning,". She added while smiling the whole time, "You can see Joe later if you wish." I thought to myself DRESS SHOPPING, NO WAY! But I nervously said, "Umm, I guess I forgot, well maybe afterwards Joe". I didn't know if my mom was serious or not. Shopping for dresses sounded worse than trick or treating with Joe disguised as a Girl Scout or even kissing John. Before I went to bed I got my answer about the next day. My mom told me I looked so pretty she decided I was going to stay Stephanie for the next week or so. She wanted me to see how life as a girl was. I accepted my fate begrudgingly, fearing she might tell my dad if I didn't go along with her plan. My mom helped me remove all the makeup I had on, bushed my hair and told me to change for bedtime. Mom Handed me a pink nighty and kissed me goodnight. I woke up early Saturday thinking my mom might have been just joking. I found out immediately she wasn't. As she had already laid out new girl clothes for me to wear. I got dressed in clothes my mom called "casual sports wear," At least it was pants and a shirt not a skirt. Although mom called it a blouse and I was wearing girls undies underneath and pink sneakers. She did my makeup saying she was keeping lite for day time. She French Braided my hair. She gave me dangling earrings and several rings and bracelets too. Mom finished off with another lozenge and we were off to the store. My mother took me shopping, telling me we weren't going to one of her stores though. I thought thank God it wasn't at one of her boutiques, I am sure one of the ladies there would have known it was me. Mom drove us to the mall and we went into a girls clothing shop. I was acting nervous but Mom said mothers and daughters go shopping together all the time to buy things or sometimes just window shop. I didn't know what my mom was up to but I had a plan. I decided if she wanted a daughter to play with I would go full tilt. I would act as girly as girly can be. As we walked into the a store, I made a bee line for a rack of dresses! I figured that would catch her off guard. To scare her I even asked her for help picking out a few dresses to try on. The look on her face told me she didn't expect me to do that. But instead of acting weird she said she would love too! I quickly moved to a rack that advertised shortie dresses. I knew the girls were wearing them and I heard how their moms hated them. I grabbed a few shorttie dresses off the rack just to piss her off. I didn't know anything about size or shape but I knew she would correct all that. I quickly moved to a rack called micro shorttie dresses and pulled some of those off too. I grabbed my mom's hand and led her to the dressing room and acted all excited! My mother just looked and said no each time I reappeared from the dressing room. I was grew tired of this game quickly so by the fifth time I started to put up an argument that she should buy what I wanted, like I thought a real girl would do to her mom. After she said calmly said we will go back now and to look for something longer. I decided I would really freak her out so I ran out to a rack called micro shorttie & sassy. I found an even shorter dress that were almost see through material to try on. I picked one and I held it up to my body so my mom could see how short is was, and it was very short! The dress was a very shear teal colored fabric and gathered at the waist and faired out at the hips. Mom was about to open her mouth to say no, so I ran into the changing room. I heard my mother saying it would be way too short as I closed the dressing room door. After I put the dress on and I looked at myself in the mirror in the changing room I saw the dress really was really short! It settled a good 8 inches above my knees. I knew on a sunny day the material was so sheer you would probably see a girl's undies quite easily or on a windy day as it would blow upward probably showing her panties. This will make mom's eyes pop out of her head I thought! I knew she would flip out, tell me to change and hopefully we would just go home then. I came sauntering out of the dressing room, "Look Aunty, this dress is dreamy isn't it? I know all the other girls would be so jealous of me if I wore it to school. The boys would just go wild over me!" I squealed in a really sugary voice. I really laid it on thick to my mom. "Please will you buy it for me?" I begged making a stomping gesture with my right foot. "I promise to do all my chores if you do, please, please!" "Stephanie if you wore that dress to school you would be attracting boys to you like flowers do to bees in the summer!" "PLEASE Aunty I love this dress!" I even added shouting "AND SOME NICE MATCHING PLATFORM HEELS TOO!" My mom widened her eyes like she was trying to tell me to knock it off. In a calm voice she said, "Now go and take that dress off this minute young lady," My mom called me "young lady", she must be mad! She only says "young man" to me when she is really mad. I must have pushed her over the top with my act. I pretended to pout and meekly went back to the changing room to change. I heard a knock on the dressing room door. My mom was outside the door asking me to hand her the dress! Mom told me she would put it back on the rack for me. "Try these dresses on instead. They are more age appropriate. Come out and show me each one and I will tell you how I think they look on you, YOUNG LADY!" Mom handed me a whole arm full of dresses though the door opening. "I saw some cute bra and panty sets I think I will buy you too," she said in a flighty kind of voice. She played my bluff and raised the stakes! Try on more dresses! Buy me panty and bra sets? How long does she expect me to keep dressing like this? This wasn't going the way I planned. I figured after putting up a fuss mom would take me back to the car and yell at me and take me home. Instead I had to try on more dresses! Each time I tried one on I had to come out of the changing room and pose in front of the mirrors in the store's open area which was filled with moms and real daughters doing the same thing. How embarrassing it was to be wearing a dress and having to stand there while my mother did her inspection or worse another mom came by for an inspection too. As I came out modeling the last dress mom picked out for me, I overheard a couple of women telling my mom she was right to make a stand against those micro shorttie sassy dresses. With my build the boys would definitely buzzing around me looking for some honey! I knew what they meant, well kind of and I knew I pushed it too far too. I was so embarrassed those moms were talking about me and boys in the same sentence. They must have heard me yelling about wanting to wear a shorter dress. NO WAY I thought to myself but YES WAY was the truth. Not only them but their daughters heard me yelling too. What was I thinking? I didn't realize what a scene I had made. I only wanted to make my mom squirm and get me out of that store. Even after all that was finished, I was going to have to change into my casual girl clothes. There was not going to be a quick end to this day for me. As I called to my mom to look at my dress, I almost fainted when I heard a familiar voice of a girl arguing with her mom. The girl's mother was standing back to back with my mom. The girl was Tina Alexander. She has been in my class for the past couple of years. I had a major crush on her too. Now I am five feet from her dressed like a 16 year old teen queen. Tina saw I was staring at her arguing with her mom so she started to glare back at me. Her mom turned to see what her daughter was looking at and then I heard. "Carol Mangione, how are you? I haven't seen you seen last year's picnic on the kids last day of school!" "Betsy Alexander so nice to see you!" mom replied "I am so sorry you had to hear this. Tina wants to try on one of those micro shorttie minis and I said no. You know kids.... Well what brings you in here?" Mrs. Alexander asked. "Oh, my niece is in town and we are doing a little shopping. The men are away in China, so it is girl time with my favorite niece!" Mom said as she reaches out to hold my hand. "Betsy this is my niece, Stephanie", my mom continued as she introduced me to Tina's mom. I stood there frozen, my feet glued to the floor as I stared at Mrs. Alexander and Tina. Introducing herself and Tina she gently reached out for both my hands and took them slowly raising my arms upward. "You are definitely a Mangione" she said to me. Tina was quietly standing next to her still staring at me real hard. "Stephanie, say hello to Mrs. Alexander and her daughter Tina. Tina is in Paul's class at school." My mom added, like I didn't know! I managed to say, "Nice to meet you both," Tina added, "You know something Stephanie, you look so so much like Paul. A little taller and older but you look a lot like him. I think I was about to faint when she added "But you are much prettier!" All the woman let out a laugh. Why don't you girls go and look at some more dresses while Mrs. Alexander and I catch up. We will just go over to Star Bucks in the mall for a quick latte" my mom said. "But Aunty don't we have to go soon?" I innocently asked my mom. I begged her with my eyes to say yes but I was crushed to hear, "No we still have a few hours to shop till we drop sweetie! Don't worry you wont be late for your date!" As I watched my mom and Mrs. Alexander walk out toward the door, I turned to make my way back to the dressing room only to be followed by the girl I was crushing on. I walked into the dressing room hoping to separate myself from Tina. At least Tina knew enough to wait outside the dressing room stall. I was ready to change back into my casual clothes when I heard a knock. Tina had gone out to the micro dress rack and grabbed a few more dresses for me to try on. Tina said while my mom was away I may as try on the things I really liked. She told me she heard me earlier and thought the teal dress was so pretty on me. I was stunned as I counted the number dresses. There were seven more! Each time I changed into different dress; Tina would run out looking for matching shoes, or a belt or some accessory she thought would help make me look more beautiful as she said. After the third or fourth dress I forgot about my apprehension and actually, started to enjoy myself. It may not have been how I imagined I would spend time with Tina, but I thought at least I could talk to her a little and find out if she liked Paul, I mean me! After I tried on the fifth dress, Tina told me to follow her. There was a pair of platform heels she thought I would look cute wearing with the micro I had on. We walked toward the shoe section when another dose of reality was served to me. "So, do you have a boyfriend Stephanie?" Tina asked. "I heard your aunt say you have a date tonight!" Man, what is it with girls, always nosey about something, I thought to myself. "No, No I don't, a boyfriend I mean...", I had to lie saying, "My boyfriend back home was cheating on me so I broke up with him," "My date is with just a friend of the family really," I thought maybe she will feel sorry for me and stop asking questions. I switched the conversation toward Paul. "Tina do you have a boyfriend?" I asked. She said no. So naturally I ask her about my cousin Paul. "Nothing personal but he's a geek" she answered. "But his friend who lives next door, Joe! Now that boy I would love to date. Of course, Joe is too old for me, well for my daddy really." Tina giggled. I stood up for Paul, I mean myself, but she told me she viewed Paul as kind of wimpy, even a bit femmy. I couldn't help it I blurted out "No Way!'. I realized what I just said by the look on her face. I quickly put both hands on my mouth and my eyes grew large! Everyone in my class knew that was my catch phase. Tina even once told me to stop saying it as it annoyed her! I noticed Tina was looking at me strangely. Tina said to me "You know what was so funny Steffi?" I nervously said "No," "Remember when Tommy Jamison farted and you blamed Bobby Samuels! We all laughed at Bobby and he got so mad he yelled at you and called you a fem!" she said laughing loudly. I was about to say yeah and remember how I was laughing so hard I pretended to feel sick and had to run out of the room while our teacher didn't know what had happened. I stopped myself just before I answered and looked at her funny saying. "Uh?," "Opps,I'm sorry your cousin Paul was there not you. I was still thinking of him I guess." Tina said. I thought to myself, I think she knows it is really me dressed like this. I felt faint; I was going down any second. We walked over to the shoe section in silence. I looked at all the different styles like I knew what I was doing. There were just so many different styles. In order to break the silence, I asked Tina, "Help me shock my mother one more time! Help me find me an even shorter dress and a pair of really high platforms too. Then I can show her what types of clothes I really like." No way a boy would want to that I figured. I was so smart I thought to myself. "Your mom? You mean your aunt right?" Tina asked "Yes why?" I asked her. "You said your mom!" she giggled as she again looked at me very closely. Oh my god, I had to try something drastic! I blew it now everyone at school will hear about me! " uh... Um....I'm just so home sick, I miss my big strong beau." I figured there is nothing more femmy than to talk about your boyfriend. I was hoping she believed me. I even began to cry. Tina looked at me but said nothing then she began to cry too, then hugged! We walked over to the micro dress rack hand in hand. I knew I had won her over then. We found exactly what I was hoping for. A floral light pink colored micro cut just like the Jade one only shorter! It was made with the same shear material, almost see through! Tina also picked up a package of textured pantyhose that that had a pattern of roses imprinted on them. She opened them up and told me to put them on too, so we can see how they looked with the dress and shoes. I thought to myself, oh man, the dress and shoes are one thing. Now my mom is going to have to pay for the pantyhose for sure. I told Tina to wait in the common area while I changed but maybe I should change back before our moms returned. I came walking out very dramatically for Tina's inspection. The heels were hard to manage but I navigated them alright. Tina greeted me with some more accessories to try on. She even handed me a clutch purse that matched with my dress. She started giggling like the school girl she was. Teasing me about what the boys would say if I wore this outfit to school. "Oh, they would want to get really close to me," I teased as I twirled in front of the mirror. My right-hand fluttering at my wrist. I said syrupy, "Come here big boy I have just what you are hankering for! I puckered up like I was going to kiss someone. That is when I noticed my mom and Mrs. Alexander in the mirror right behind us, watching and listening to me! My mom did not look happy. By the look on her face I knew she heard me talking about flirting with boys. Mrs. Alexander asked Tina what we were up to in a harsh voice. Tina answered, "I was just trying to help Steffie feel better". Steffie is so upset about breaking up with my boyfriend back home she was almost crying to me!". My mom still apologized to Mrs. Alexander saying I was older and should have been acting more mature, that I shouldn't have over whelmed Tina with my problems. To me she said, "Well Steffi I think you had enough dress up time and girl talk for one day." "But my my my, look at that outfit you have on! Perhaps if you were older young lady". Calming down my mom added, "Well I don't know about the dress and accessories but the pantyhose and shoes do look cute on you honey. You best go change back into your capris, but wear the pantyhose home honey. We have to buy them now anyway. You know I bet Joe is looking out his window this very second waiting for us to pull up in our drive way. He will probably come running over the minute he sees you get out of the car. And you know what? I will tell him I will drive you two to the movies tonight. I didn't realize how much you missed your boyfriend.". "Are you dating Joe?" Tina asked me? "NO Wa... no...! We're just friends!" Catching myself before I said NO WAY again. Thinking I should sound like a girl I added "I mean he is a really cute boy but we are just friends," I know I was blushing. I knew my mom was listening to our earlier conversation about attracting boys. She must think I really into boys after last night and now this display. So now Mom has me dating a boy, not any boy but my best friend Joe! Maybe she really did want to make me into a real girl I thought. "Well bye bye Tina" I said and we hugged each other. How girly I thought. I went back to the changing room, handed mom the micro dress, shoes and accessories through the door. I slowly changed into my casual wear for the ride home. I stayed in the dressing room for a couple of extra minutes trying to compose myself. Both of us were silent on the way home. But thankfully as we pulled into the driveway Joe didn't come running from his house to see me. When we got inside mom told me to go and take a bath. I asked my mom before starting my bath, "Mom you're not really making me go on a date to the movies with Joe, are you?" She just looked at me and smiled. Mom paid me no mind as she laid out one of the "sensible" dresses, bra and panty sets along with the accessories she wanted me to wear that she bought for me at the store that morning. While I was in the dressing room unknown to me, my Mom bought me a pair of the kind of heels I was trying on with Tina. However, my new shoes had an even higher platform and were open toed. Before I dressed, I tried to protest my mom's insistence to paint my toenails. She changed the shade of the polish to a darker pink color and redid my fingernails the same color too. Mom gave me another lozenges. After I dressed, I looked in her dressing mirror and thought where is Paul? What did I do to myself that afternoon in the spring? I looked like a teenage girl. But those shoes were definitely not teenagers' shoes. My mom told me how much I seemed to like that style but I didn't know what I was asking for. Mom said I will see how hard they were to wear for an extended time. We left our house and lucky for me Joe was not to be seen. I breathed a sigh of relief. My mother only took me to some restaurant for dinner. We returned none the worse. My mother told me to go to bed She has a big day planned. I thought not me. Mom will go to church and I can just relax while she is gone! While getting undressed I was thinking it was strange getting ready for bed wearing panties and putting on a nighty. Then again I thought the panties and nighty were the least feminine thing I wore all day! Eventually I drifted off to sleep things could have been much worse if Joe had been involved. The next morning my mom woke me up early to tell me we were going to Church. I protested. "Dad doesn't make me go to church. He says the men of the house don't go to church! We stay home to protect it against the devil!" Mom in a calm voice said, "I don't see any men in our house Steffie, just us girls. Go shower and I will lay out your clothes for Church." I knew I lost and quickly submitted. I followed the same shower routine as the night before. As I walked back into my room, I saw hanging from my closet door was flowery Micro Shortie Sassy dress Tina had picked out for me to try on! Oh my god, my mother must have bought it too while I was in the dressing stall getting dressed yesterday. Laying on my bed was another new matching bra and panty set, a new pair of the rose-colored panty hose and the platform shoes I was wearing in the store. My mom even bought all the accessories I was wearing too! Mom had even bought the little clutch purse! "Mom! I can't wear that dress anywhere! I won't, NO WAY! It is way too short! And you want me to wear those shoes? NO WAY!" I protested trying to out think her. I added we are going to church remember? Mom said, "I am well aware of our destination young lady! Truthfully, I have seen girls your age or slightly older wear things like this to church. Remember church is about the soul not the dress! You seemed to love it so much you were fawning over this outfit at the mall yesterday. You yelled about wanting a Micro Shorttie & Sassy dress so badly. Then sneaking behind my back to try one on with Tina reminded me how I was at your age. I know how much fun it is to dress up when you are younger to impress the boys. You do look so adorable in it, I thought well just this once!'. "Mom, I don't have any favorite dresses or shoes I like to wear" I argued But all mom said to me was "Hurry Steffie, we want to be on time" I yelled "My name is Paul you know". "Not for now!" was her reply. I quickly got dressed and stepped into the shoes. My mom did my make up lightly for daytime again, just a bit more than yesterday saying church is more formal than every day. She handed one of her wraps for my shoulders as it was a cool Sunday morning. Finally handing me the clutch purse, we were off. As I opened the front door, I couldn't believe Joe was just standing there waiting with a bible in in hand. He was dressed in a suit, on a Sunday morning no less! Walking past me as if I wasn't there, Joe said "Good morning Mrs. Mangione, I thought you may be going to church this morning. With the men of house gone, I thought you two ladies might would like a man to escort you". I thought to myself, who is this guy? He knows my dad and I never go to church. I can't believe this, Joe does not take no for an answer, he just keeps coming and coming, he was so assertive! My mom must have been impressed with the way Joe was dressed and carrying a bible. She complimented him on his clothes. She told him how manly and grown up he looked. And since his sense of chivalry was most appreciated. She said in a syrupy voice "Of course Joe, we ladies accept your invitation to escort ua to church. Having a nice young man like yourself will be a pleasure for us, right Stephanie?". I swallowed my pride and answered her "Oh yes, for sure.". I was mortified as I walked out to our car with Joe following close behind me. Its Sunday morning what if another neighbor is out? Joe ran ahead of us and opened the door for my mom and then quickly ran around to open mine. I tried to carefully get into the car. Not having any experience wearing short dresses and platform shoes. I knew Joe got an eye full of my exposed legs as I slid in. Luckily, he sat in back and I sat next to my mother in front. At church after my mother parked the car, Joe jumped out and did his door opening routine for the Mangione Ladies. As I got out of the car I was tugging the hem of that stupid dress hoping to pull it down to my knees! We had to walk about three hundred feet through the parking lot and I know Joe was the view of my backside and legs the whole way in. I saw that creepy guy John as we walked into the church. I instinctively, moved closer to Joe. No one messed with Joe. I realized I was signaling to Joe that I wanted his masculine protection. Still John wouldn't have the nerve to talk to me while Joe was my escort. As we walked by him, John stared at me just like Joe and some of the other boys were doing and even the men were doing. What is up with guys I thought to myself? I know girls are nice to look at but really! After the service walking back to the car was a chore. The wind had picked up quite a bit and I had to hold down the front of my dress many times as I felt it billow up with the wind. I feared someone might see my panties it I didn't. Once again Joe was the gentleman door man for my mom and me. Again he got an eyeful of my legs, and this time I think my undies for a split second also. I was mortified but I thought I lived through my embarrassment and now I can go home and change back to my regular clothes. Well my regular girl's clothes. As my mom started the car she was all complimentary to Joe for the chivalry he showed to us girls getting the doors each time. The I heard my mother ask Joe if he was hungry? If he was would like to go to join us girls for brunch? Joe said something stupid like "How lucky can one man get! Two beautiful New Orleans women to escort to a resturant, why I would be honored Mrs. Mangione.". That was all I could take and blurted out a "NO WAY" very loudly. Realizing what I said. I quickly added "Did you see that bird hit that blue car going out of the parking lot?" Joe laughed and said "That is what your cousin Paul always says when he doesn't want to do something Stephanie," That expression must run in the Mangione family uh?". I mumbled a weak "Yes I guess so". I thought Joe must have really believed I was Stephanie Mangione not Paul Mangione; How lucky am I! Wait was that good or bad? I remember looking at my mom and she just smiled at me and said ok let's go and eat kids. At the restaurant Joe was Mr. Manners again. He opened all the doors, pulled our chairs out for us. My mom was bubbling with appreciation telling Joe she must tell his momma what a polite boy she is raising! When I tried to talk to Joe about regular boy stuff, he just changed the subject to things like what do I like to do back home. Was I into dancing, did I ever cheerlead? Girl stuff! My mom just smiled waiting to hear my answers eventually excusing herself to use the ladies' room. Joe of course pops up, pulls her chair out for her. I thought to myself I will pee my panties before I have him pull out my chair like that! When my mom walked away Joe looked me straight into my eyes and asked me straight out, do I have a boyfriend back home? I lied through my teeth telling him I had a steady boy back home. I figured that would cool him down but even that didn't slow him down. He just kept chatting me up like I would just tell him I will give up my boyfriend for him. When my mom returned and sat down, she told Joe he looked so serious talking to me as she was walking up to the table but she didn't want to barge in. Mom slowly ate her food while listening to us. Mom just kept eating and politely smiling at us as Joe politely but pointily hit on me! Finally, as we were finishing our meal, she told Joe you never know maybe Stephanie will be in the boyfriend market again soon and give him a call. "She did tell you she has broken up with him, didn't she?", my mother said innocently! Joe just looked at me. Now I had to retell a lie about a lie had told him. I tried to keep my new lie to a minimum by saying "Now Aunt Katie, Joe doesn't want to hear about... um Richard and I. Of course, it is too soon to date again. Besides I won't be here too much longer you know". My mom just looked at me smiling. I don't know if she was surprised by what I said but she reached out for my hand and patted it some. When we got back home, I pretended I was not feeling well sending a crushed Joe back home again short of his mark, me I mean Stephanie! My mom couldn't say anything about that. I spent the rest of the day in my house but I was stuck wearing that dress, shoes and accessories my mom had given to me for the entire day. Mom said since I wanted the outfit so badly at the store then I should wear it until I went to bed. What really rocked my world was just before bed mom told me I was going to stay Stephanie for the next three weeks! My dad called and said wasn't going to be back home for another Three and a half weeks because of some new business. My mother would let school know I wouldn't be there but she wanted my homework for each day. My mom explained that more time would let me get an idea what life was like for girls just in case. She even said again if I wanted to become a girl for life please don't worry about confiding in her! Over the next five days not only did I have to sit at the kitchen table to do my homework but I got daily lessons, from my mom, of how it would be if I were a female. I practiced doing my own makeup. Mom even plucked a bit of my eyebrows to "shape them some". She said not too much, I wasn't so sure. I did my nails and toenails myself each day. We went shopping some more, eating out we even watched sappy chick 3dvid flicks together and a few of them were quite sad and we even cried together. On the following Saturday morning my doorbell rang and once again it was Joe! He told me he was very busy with studying this week but wanted to say hi and visit. When will I learn I thought to myself? He probably wants me to go out with him, NOW WAY, he is a boy like me! My heart sank when from behind his back he pulled out a bouquet flowers! I knew he intended them for me. I reached out and took them bringing them to my nose to smell them, like I had seen my mother do before. Pretending to love them I gushed "Oh Joe what pretty flowers". Joe said thanks but he wanted to speak to my mom. He asked me to follow him as he walked straight into the kitchen where my mom was drinking her morning coffee. "Mrs. Mangione, I would be honored to escort Stephanie to the movies tonight. I promise you I will be a perfect gentleman and honor her the way she deserves". My mom stared at Joe. Mom knew she had pushed it too far last week and now she was going to have to let the poor guy down! Instead my mother started to tear up! "Oh Joe that would be so lovely of you but I can't accept for Stephanie. However, she has my permission if she wants to say yes!". My knees began to shake as I heard what was being said. Joe turned back to me took hold of my right hand and in his best gentlemanly voice said "I would be honored if you, Miss Stephanie Mangione would allow me to escort you to the new 3-Dvid, "The Secret One" showing at the Midtown Theater this evening. There is no violence just a love story between two young people. Stephanie I really like you and want to show you I am a good man". I tried to respond but I started to tear up as my mom watched. I tried to find my voice and was about to say something like thank you but no, when my mom said, "Look at her Joe, of course she will go with you!". With that Joe, gave me a quick hug. He thanked my mom and said he will return at 6:30 or so when his dad returns. His father said he can drive the two of them there. And with that he left and my mom was left just beaming at me. Just think of it as fun time Stephanie. You two have gone to other things many times together. "Its Paul, mom. My name is Paul" I snapped back. All mom said was, "For now its Steffie, remember". My mom took me back to the mall to get another of those Shorttie Dresses, new shoes and more accessories. She even took me to a salon for a professional makeover to do my nails, hair and makeup. I watched in horror as the beautician pierced my ears for another hole in each adding a delicate diamond earring in both along with shaping my eyebrows a bit more! I thought to myself, Oh my god II look just like a chick! On the way home I tried to talk to my mom about all this girl stuff but she said she wanted me to look my best for Joe! I reminded her I was a boy not really a girl but she paid me no never mind. My mom called Joe's house and told his mother she was free and will drive us to the show. She even walked in with us! "Now Joe I trust you and all but I will just sit right behind you two to make sure you are that gentlemanly boy you say you are", Mom said to us. I don't know if I was more embarrassed being dressed in yet another new Shorttie or by the fact my mom was sitting behind us! However, shortly after the movie began mom tapped me on the shoulder and said she had to take a business call and may be a bit. Mom left and shortly thereafter was when I felt Joe put his arm around my shoulder. Turning to say I wasn't comfortable with him doing that, I saw him coming in closer and he kissed me. I wanted to die! I froze up again though just like with John. Joe kept at it. In in a little bit I felt myself surrendering and gave into him more fully. I had never kissed a girl before and even though it was with Joe I liked the attention. Deep down in my heart I wanted it to continue for some reason. Maybe it was all this girl junk. Maybe it was just being held tightly. Maybe it was the way Joe put his tongue in my mouth or how he softly bit my neck some. We ended up necking for a long time. I thought I should try and stop him after a while but I was afraid he may get mad. Or somehow realize I am Paul not really Stephanie. Truthfully, I didn't even know how to stop him! But then I felt him put his hand on my upper leg and began to softly rub it moving from the top of it to the inside of my leg. I was afraid he would go higher and discover I was the secret one! Eventually I gathered enough courage to take his hand and hold it instead. However, Joe then took my hand and guided it to his lap. I knew I was feeling his penis, and it was hard! I pulled back quickly. Joe did that move several more times until finally I gave up and I left my hand there just kind of rubbing it in his lap. Unfortunately that only encouraged him as I felt him pull down his zipper and unbuckle his pants! I was very afraid now. I knew it was wrong but at the same time I was feeling excited too. I slowly moved my hand into his underwear and held on to his penis. I was breathing so hard I thought I was going to pass out. I felt excitement rubbing his penis. It was big and hard but smooth too. The tip was oozing something. I could feel his breath on my neck. All I hoped for was my hide-a-way panties would keep me hidden! I could feel myself getting excited too. Joe kept looking back at the door and when he saw the door open really wide. He stopped kissing me and pulled my hand out. He assumed it was my mom. We ended up just holding hands for the rest of the movie. When the movie ended, I turned to say something to my mom but her seat was empty. Mom wasn't there! We got up and left and she met us in the lobby As She drove us home, we made small talk, I was still very confused. At home we said our good nights. Joe said he would stop by after church and maybe just hang out. He whispered to me and maybe more! I thought about how I behaved at the movie and really was embarrassed about what we did and told Joe the next day I shouldn't have done that. I lied and told him I still loved my boyfriend and we couldn't kiss or do that other stuff anymore. I knew he was crushed but I didn't want anything to get out of hand again. I knew Joe was heartbroken but Stephanie was only around a short time after that movie anyway. However, after Stephanie "went home" Joe talked about her for months after I "got back" from China. On the day before my dad got home mom and I spent the afternoon taking the hair extensions out, and cleaning the nail polish off my nails. I was finally back to normal. My Dad would be home the next day and all would be right again. At dinner that evening my mom dropped a bomb on me when she said, "Paul if you want to discuss anything with me you can," she said. "Remember if you feel you want to be a girl, you can confide in me honey". I told her, "Mom I don't want to be a girl. I hated the whole thing. I was just curious up in the attic. That's all it was. NO WAY do I want to be a girl!". Mom looked me in the eye and said to me, "Paul, I saw you and John kissing as he held you in his arms on Halloween. You let him pick up and hold you up like a bride. And then you were kissing Joe at the movie. Joe didn't see me when I returned because I sat a few rows back and watched. I bought a pair of special night vision glasses that look like my regular glasses! It was like daylight to me in there. You two were really going at it! I also could tell there was more than just kissing going on. Truthfully it reminded me of your father and I when we were young. You two were kissing for quite a while. I saw your hand suddenly pull back several times until you didn't. I am a girl, I know what Joe wanted you to do and you did it for him didn't you?". "NO WAY I protested! I didn't do those things, I was just afraid, afraid he might know it was me, that's all ..." Mom cut me off in mid denial, Paul, I know what I saw, I know what you two were doing and I know what you did for him. Did he touch you too?" "NO, NO, NO WAY!" I pleaded. "Alright I touched him there. He kept pulling my hand down. But now way he touched me!". "Paul it is normal for a young person to wonder what kissing is like. Maybe even a little light touching, you don't have to be embarrassed, I was about your age when I kissed my first boy and did some touching like you. Whether it was kissing the boys or Tina talking about attracting boys you seemed to embrace it. You have experienced a lot over the last few weeks. You never once said "No Way" mom! I am not going to do this no matter what. Go ahead and tell dad! If you had done that, I would not have had you immerse yourself as a teenage girl. Oh, you protested getting dressed in costume the first night and on the first shopping trip out but you never put your foot down. Your protests seemed staged. But soon you began to pick out your own clothes. You didn't even seem interested in buying girl's pants but always dresses and skirts. Not cotton shirts but silky blouses. Not underwear but Hide-A-Ways and then some more". You even learned do your own make up and nails without me prompting you." "I can discuss it with your dad and we can seek whatever medical help you need. There are operations that can help boys or girls for that matter change sexes. And if you do, now is the time to determine it before you fully hit puberty. Even if all you want to do is dress as a girl now and then I will talk to your dad about it. You see honey, I want you to be happy with who you are". I mumbled something to her about thinking about what she said, and I began to cry. I told her I thought I was supposed to do those things to please her. It wasn't my fault about that first night. I told her how John wanted to take me to a back room and make out. It was an accident I fell into his arms, I tripped on the stairs and somehow, he caught me. He lowered his head and started kissing me. I tried to stop him but he was bigger than me. My mom told me to stop story telling but I continued. Tina was supposed to help me find something that shocked you that's all. I figured you would take me home and stop the masquerade if I found something really short to wear. But then we started talking and Tina told me how she thought Paul was a wimpy geek even femmy. I looked in the mirror and thought she was right. I was trying on dresses with her for Pete's sake. In the theater Joe made the first move, I was scared he would find out it was me if I didn't act like a girl. I wanted him to stop but he kept on going kept on pushing it. And yes, she was right I did do some light touching. I was scared that's all. I didn't like it. I told my mom I knew what I did in attic was wrong. To touch something that was not yours is not right. I just had some kind of urge I couldn't control. I told my mom again I will think about all she said to me and maybe will talk again in the future. We never spoke about it again though. As far as my dad goes, I don't think my mom ever said anything to him about the attic or my emersion therapy. I seriously do not think he would have ever talked to me again if she did. I sat in my bed that night after recounting my mom's lesson to me. I thought my mom would be happy with the way I look now. I am sure she hoped I would have taken her up on her offer. I know she really wanted a daughter. Even though I was a man I knew I looked like a woman to other people. If Dr. Turnbul's surgery on me was as successful as she said, I knew sooner than later I would have a penis inserted into "my voided" area and things will be fine. With those thoughts going through my head I drifted off to a peaceful sleep End of Chapter 5.