Previously on MAU: The Slayer
- James went over to his friend Max's apartment, who had found a
Morphic Adaptation Unit. James ended up as the character Faith, the
rouge vampire slayer from the television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
- Max and his girlfriend Karen turned themselves into vampires from the
show and framed James for murder.
- James was forced to join with the Agency (a governmental group which
is seeking a working unit and tracks those who are changed by the
machines) to hunt down and kill his onetime friends, before they can
spread the vampiric plague.
- However, before James can track them down, his brother Dan is turned
into a vampire. James finds that as Faith, he has all the powers of a slayer,
including the prophetic dreams that give glimpses of the future. In his first
dream he see a danger coming that will destroy the world, unless he
remains as Faith and is there to stop it, so he lets a MAU slip through his
fingers.
- Later James discovers that Dan is now a vampire, but instead being
killed, his is taken under custody by the Agency under the terms that
James will work with them to find a working MAU in hopes of curing
him. The device that James failed to capture is later used by John a high
school nerd, who turns himself into a copy of James' sister Linda and by
John's friend Matt who turns himself into a copy of Eliza Dushku, the
actress who plays Faith.
- Linda finds out that John is now her twin and tricks Matt into changing
her into John, so that Linda can then steal the machine and take it to
James. However, Linda has the machine taken from her and then ends up
stuck as John, and is later injured, which leaves her paralyzed and in a
coma.
- James has fallen into a deep depression over what has happened to both
his brother and sister, and he is willing to do whatever it takes to obtain a
working MAU and use it to restore all of them to their original bodies.
- James is troubled by his Faith persona and blames himself for his sister's
injuries. Also James is fighting Faith's heightened passions, both her
sexual desire and violent nature, which are becoming increasingly difficult
to control.
- James, who now goes by the name Faith, is further confused by the
feelings he/she is starting to feel for his/her partner Agent K, who's real
name is Kyle.
- At the end of the last episode, Agent B who led the Agency and was
Faith's friend, is presumed murdered by a mysterious stranger who has
infiltrated the Agency.
Author's note: I was listening to the car radio one day around the
time when I was writing the second Slayer story and a song came on the
radio. I couldn't help but choreograph a fight scene for Faith in my head
as the music played. Compounded with the fact that I am also a big fan of
the musical episode of "Buffy", I started thinking of writing my own
musical episode of MAU: The Slayer. Since that day in the car I have
looked for as many popular or well-known songs as I could find that I
could incorporate into a story. So this is what you are about to read. I
know that a 'short story musical' is somewhat odd, but it is something that
I felt I had to write. I hope that you enjoy it and that I can convey the
story that I picture in my mind as I listen to the various songs. Enjoy.
MAU: The Slayer-Karaoke Nightmare (AKA Once Again With Feeling)
By Allen W.
Edited by SteveZ
The sudden banging on Faith's bedroom door woke her from the
dream she was having. "Go away!" she moaned as she pulled the blanket
over her head. Several empty Jack Daniel's bottles were spread across the
floor, some from days before, one from the previous night.
The knocking continued for a moment and then stopped. Faith
sighed with relief and tried to fall back into the dream she had been having
when the noise started again. Only a few seconds went by before the
sound of wood splintering woke her again as the door was kicked in.
Faith's superhuman reflexes were dulled down to the point where
all she could do was feebly look up at the figure of the familiar man in the
doorway, before she collapsed again into her pillow and tried to once
again find solace in the embrace of unconsciousness.
The blankets were snatched away from her and she let out a quick
yelp of surprise as the chilly morning air stung her with cold needles.
"Kyle. Go away!" she yelled, leaning up to snatch the blankets back from
Agent K.
"God, James! Look at yourself. Is this what you have been up to
for the last few days?" Agent K said, grabbing Faith by the arm and
pulling her out of bed.
Faith made a weak attempt to swing at him, but in her half drunken
condition, K easily caught her swing and twisted her arm behind her back.
Forcibly, he hauled her into the bathroom and tossed her into the shower.
She landed with a thud and he turned the cold water on.
"You son of a bitch!" Faith screamed in protest as the cold water
sprayed over her body, drenching the T-shirt and sweat pants she wore.
"I knew I should have come over sooner," K said as he watched
Faith stagger to regain her balance.
"What do you want, Kyle?" she asked, reaching to turn the water
off.
K slapped her hand away from the faucet. "Let it run, Faith. We
need to sober you up. Agent B wants to see us ASAP. I think we have a
possible active device scenario."
She stared blurry-eyed at K for a moment, then managed to focus
on him and understood. "Okay," Faith said, and stuck her head under the
cold stream of water coming from the shower. After a few moments she
pulled it out and said, "I'll be fine. Go make some...coffee or tea or
something and I'll be right down."
Faith pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to the side and
was about to slide down her sweats when she noticed that K was still
standing in front of the shower staring at her. "What the hell!" she
shrieked as she reflexively covered her bare breasts.
K just smiled. He leaned over to the sink where he had earlier
placed the container of coffee and then held it up. "Coffee's ready," he
said, keeping constant eye contact with Faith. She wasn't sure what the
look in his eyes meant, but Faith could tell this wasn't one of his cheap
attempts to flirt with her. Whatever the look meant, she didn't know how
to respond.
"I'll...be right down," Faith said embarrassedly as she closed the
shower curtain.
* * *
Twenty minutes later they were walking down the corridor toward
Agent B's office. Faith's hair was still damp and she still felt a bit hung
over, but they marched in unison up to Agent B's secretary. "Agent B is
ready to see you," she said, motioning them both toward the door.
The office was simply decorated, but was somewhat expansive.
Faith and Agent K stepped toward the large desk in front of them. The
large chair was turned away from them, but by the slight motion they
could tell that someone was sitting in it.
"B, where the hell have you been? I have been trying to call you
for..." Faith started to say, but suddenly fell silent as the chair swiveled
around and she saw someone other than the man whom she had been
expecting sitting in B's chair.
"You will refer to me as Agent B," the man in the chair said
coldly. His nose was bandaged and was obviously broken.
"Simmons!? Where's B?" Faith replied, stunned.
"I am the new Agent B. You will now be reporting to me,"
Simmons said with a self-satisfying smile.
"Where's the real B?" Faith countered, looking from Simmons to
K.
"When did this happen?" K interjected.
"My predecessor was called away on a matter of utmost urgency
and will not be back for the foreseeable future. Now, the reason-"
"How can I get a hold of him?" Faith interrupted.
Simmons, or the new Agent B, sighed and then continued. Faith
looked to K for support, but quickly turned her attention back to Simmons
shortly after he began to speak.
"The reason I have called you here is that we have a mission for
you and an active unit may be involved."
Faith's heart raced. "Where?" she blurted out.
The new Agent B sighed again. "If you are going to keep
interrupting I will get another retrieval team in here."
Faith glared at the man, but kept her mouth tightly shut.
"Very well. The site location is Conrad, Montana. Population
2,753. It's a small town community, nothing extraordinary about it, that is
until yesterday when all communication from the town was lost. Reports
were made from outlying communities about the loss in communication,
but all those who have gone to investigate the town have failed to return. I
need you two to get into the town and find out what has happened before
the media finds out about this. If there is a device involved, I want you to
retrieve it and bring it back here at all costs."
"Is this considered a code Alpha or a code Beta scenario?" Agent
K asked.
"For now it's considered to a Beta, but that is subject to review,"
Agent B said.
* * * *
Within twenty minutes Faith and K were aboard a private jet
headed for a small landing strip in the neighboring town of Shelby,
Montana.
Faith sat transfixed, thinking about her first chance to get a
Morphic Adaptation Unit. 'If we can get that device, I can be myself
again,' she daydreamed. 'More importantly, I can 'cure' Dan and return
Linda back to her correct body. From my research, the device would be
able to heal Linda when it returned her back to her own body,' Faith
thought desperately. "It wouldn't leave her as a quadriplegic."
"Faith," K said for the third time.
"Huh?" she answered absent-mindedly.
"I got you a present," he said, handing her a colorfully wrapped
box with a large bow on it.
"What is it?" Faith asked, taking the box.
"Open it and see."
Faith hesitated for a moment and then ripped the paper from the
box. Opening the box she found a small crossbow pistol and three
crossbow bolts. "Wow," she said, astonished. "This is just like the one B
gave me."
"For the girl who has everything," K joked. "But it is nicer than
that one...improved. It's completely collapsible and each of the bolts has a
remote controlled explosive tipped head that's triggered by depressing a
button on the stock of the pistol. The force of the bolt hitting something
with a sufficient force arms the explosive."
"You should change your name from K to Q," Faith joked, looking
at the weapon. "And speaking of name changes, what happened to the
real B?"
"I don't know. Maybe he retired or got promoted. You didn't
think once he left that they would retire his letter?" K smiled.
"No, but I thought B would have said something to me before
he...just disappeared."
"He may have had to go in a hurry," K said. "I'm sure he'll get
word to you when he's able."
"And what is an Alpha and a Beta scenario?"
"There are typically four types of scenarios involving the devices.
The most common is a Gamma, in which a person uses the device to
change himself or herself into another person or animal and is stuck that
way. This is considered a no real danger threat situation and it's the
easiest to contain. The next is a Delta, in which a person either becomes a
well known celebrity or changes their form into something other than
human. These are a little more difficult to cover up because people
remember meeting Brad Pitt or Marilyn Monroe or-"
"Eliza Dushku," Faith interjected.
"Exactly. These cases need a little more care as the general public
could learn of the device's existence. Say for instance, if Marilyn Monroe
or a talking dinosaur were to fall into the public eye, it would be more
difficult to cover up.
"Next is a Beta, which is a case that involves a threat to society in
general. The vampiric plague that you helped bring to an end is a perfect
example of this. If it had gotten out of control, countless lives would have
been lost."
"And an Alpha?"
"A situation that could bring about the end of the world as we
know it," K said soberly. "But so far in the entire history of the Agency,
there have only been a few Beta scenarios and no Alphas. It has been
theorized that the creators of the devices put in safeguards to protect
people from harming themselves and others, but it has been conjectured
that someday someone will come up with some transformation that will
bypass the safeguard protocols and will allow them to become an actual
threat to the human race. Your friend Max came up with an extremely
dangerous form and he was only trying to emulate a television program,
imagine what would happen if someone was actually out to commit some
type of harm."
* * * *
Later, the small jet was landing in Shelby, Montana. A vehicle
waited at the end of the runway, and within moments of landing, Faith and
K were headed down the road toward the small town of Conrad.
"I had better hold on to that until you need it," K said, taking the
crossbow pistol from Faith, collapsing it and stowing it in his coat.
"Strictly speaking, you're not supposed to be armed, but if you need it, it's
yours."
After a half hour race down Interstate 15 they were approaching
Conrad. "So, what are we supposed to do now?" Faith asked as they
pulled up to the outskirts of the town. Not a single person was visible
when they parked the car.
"We find out what is going on and report back," K replied, a slight
uneasiness in his voice as he looked at the deserted town.
"Five by five, Kyle. Let's go," Faith said, but felt a slight
headache as she reached for the door handle.
K opened his door and suddenly screamed as a searing pain shot
though his head. Faith turned to see him fall forward onto the steering
wheel, unconscious.
* * * *
Agent K awoke in a small prison cell. He instantly sprang to his
feet, but all of his weapons were gone. He was dressed as a prisoner and
he noticed that several guards were now looking at him from the other side
of the bars. The door slowly slid to the side and the guards carefully
moved forward toward K. He instantly recognized the faces of the four
guards and took a step back. "How can you all be here? You're all dead,"
he said, terrified as the four men grabbed him and pulled him out of the
cell.
K recognized the faces of several of the people he had killed over
the course of his career. He never saw another prisoner as he was dragged
through the prison, but every guard he saw he recognized as someone he
had killed, including the two vampires he had killed at the sci-fi
convention when he rescued Faith. They opened the door and led the way
to a small room with a single chair that was bolted to the floor. The six
men had little difficulty in buckling K into the electric chair. He was
struggling madly to free himself when a figure in a back hood entered the
room and approached the switch. The figure stopped, turned to K and
remove its hood.
"Not you!" K screamed as the figure pulled the lever and
everything went black.
* * * *
Faith watched as K jerked about for a moment and then mumbled
something about 'you're all dead...and...not you,' then fell silent.
Suddenly a stabbing pain cut into her head and Faith screamed. She
managed to open the car door, get out of the car and stagger a few feet
forward. She desperately clutched her temples in a vain attempt to make
the pain subside, but it only increased until she finally collapsed to the
ground unconscious.
* * * *
Faith woke up lying on a bed in a nicely furnished apartment. She
sat upright in confusion and started to look around the room when she
suddenly realized that she was back in her own body.
"I'm James again!" he said, jumping up off the bed. "How is this
possible?"
He looked over at a mirror and saw his own long missing
reflection. He smiled with relief, but then realized that he was wearing a
black suit with a large button pinned over his left breast pocket. On the
button there was a large letter F.
"What the hell is this?" James said aloud, and went to the window.
There was something strangely familiar about the quaint cottages that he
saw out the window. And on the far side of the cottages he could see a
blue domed building.
'The Prisoner?' James thought as he recalled the late 60's television
show about a retired secret agent trapped on an island, which was a bizarre
sort of prison.
He walked to the door, which opened automatically, and James
headed toward the blue domed building.
'What am I doing in the 'Village' from The Prisoner TV show?'
James thought as he entered the building and found inside the familiar
large circular room that was used by the Village's leader who was known
as number 2. A chair rose out of the floor in the center of the room, and
sitting in it was Simmons.
"What the hell is going on here?" James said as he approached
Simmons.
"I am the new Agent B," he said flatly.
"Where is the real Agent B?" James asked sternly.
"You are Agent F."
"I am not a letter, I am a free man!" James shouted.
Simmons laughed, and the laughter seemed to echo around James
from all directions.
James realized that he had just said part of the opening dialogue
from the TV series, substituting letters for numbers, when he caught sight
of something that made his blood run cold. The thing was called "Rover"
and it acted at the protector of the Village. Rover was a large white
bubble that would encase troublemakers and either take them to the
powers that be, or in some cases suffocate them. James watched in horror
as the white 'weather balloon' type creature quickly rolled toward him and
was about to encase him when suddenly there was a blinding flash of
white light.
* * * *
James suddenly felt himself falling and then hit the ground with a
thud. He felt warm sand beneath his hands and to his disdain, as he sat up
he could see the strands of the familiar long dark brown hair was partially
blocking his vision. "Well, I'm Faith again," she groaned as the bright
sunlight made her squint her eyes. As she stood, a vast desert landscape
stretched out all around her. From on top of the hill where she stood all
she could see was miles and miles of barren desert, which looked
strangely familiar.
"I'm having one of my prophetic Slayer dreams," Faith said aloud
as she recognized the familiar desert scene from the Buffy show. In the
show Buffy had been dreaming and her dream ended up in the middle of
the desert. Faith tensed up, slightly fearful that the First Slayer might
attack her at any instant, like it had done to Buffy in that episode.
"Hello?" Faith said quietly, and started looking around for some
type of threat. "Anybody here?" She stopped when she caught sight of a
large tent directly behind her.
'This is new,' she thought as she cautiously went inside. The tent
was large and ornate, like something from the Arabian Knights. Inside
Faith saw a single chair, that she felt compelled to go sit on.
As she sat, the front flap of the tent closed and Faith suddenly
found herself in complete darkness. An instant later a red glow seemed to
illuminate the room and she could see again. Standing before her, Faith
saw the 'little person' from the show Twin Peaks.
"semaJ ,gnimoc won si dlrow eht fo dne ehT," he said as he
walked across the room.
"What?" Faith replied, not understanding.
"ti tsniaga dnats nac ohw eno ylno eht era uoy dna lla su nopu eb
noos lliw noitcurtsed fo eve ehT. ydaer eb tsum uoy dna dlrow eht fo
reyortsed eht thgif ot uoy rof emit eb noos lliw tI."
"I can't understand you," Faith said, frustrated. "I don't know
what you mean."
"pleh lliw siht ebyaM," he said as he walked over to a large drum
that stood in a corner. He picked up a mallet and swung it at the drum,
which reverberated in a low, resonating tone. He struck it again and again
in a continuous rhythm. Suddenly the sound of a guitar that seemed to be
coming from all directions started to play.
To Faith's surprise, a familiar figure stepped out of the shadows of
a corner of the tent that had been draped in darkness.
"B?" Faith whispered as she saw the man that she had know as the
original Agent B. He was still dressed all in black, but now also wore
dark black sunglasses and had on a black hat. Faith couldn't help but
think that he almost looked like one of the Blues Brothers, but thought that
was ridiculous, until be began to sing a slow ballad.
THE EASTERN WORLD
IT IS EXPLODING
B said as he moved closer to Faith.
VIOLENCE FLAIRING
BULLETS LOADING
YOUR OLD ENOUGH TO KILL
BUT NOT FOR VOTING
He said shrugging his shoulders.
YOU DON'T BELIVE IN WAR
BUT WHAT'S THAT 'STAKE' YOUR TOATING
AND EVEN THE 'MISSISSIPPI' RIVER HAS BODIES
FLOATING
At this point Agent B turned and walked toward something that
was slowly rising out of the floor.
BUT YA TELL ME OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN
MY FRIEND
AH YA DON'T BELIEVE THAT WE'RE ON THE EVE OF
DESTRUCTION.
The oblong shape finished rising out of the ground, and Faith
instantly recognized it as one of the alien devices that had changed her
into her current form. B stepped in front of the device and gave Faith a
look of utter desperation.
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY?
Faith looked back at him in confusion.
CAN'T YOU FEEL THE FEARS I'M FEELIN' TODAY?
The front of the device faded away, revealing the inside of the
machine. B turned and pointed at the button that Faith was intimately
familiar with, the button that activated the device and would cause the
change that was programmed on the screen.
IF THE BUTTON IS PUSHED THERE'S NO RUNNING AWAY
THERE'LL BE NO ONE TO SAVE WITH THE WORLD IN A
GRAVE
TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU BOY, IT'S BOUND TO
SCARE YOU BOY
B stepped away from the machine and pulled a cord that caused the
tent to begin to collapse around them.
AND YA TELL ME
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN MY FRIEND
AH YA YOU DON'T BELIEVE, WE'RE ON THE EVE OF
DESTRUCTION
Faith flinched, thinking that the tent was about to fall on top of
them, but instead the tent seemed to split open at the top and fall around
them. Faith looked around in shock and confusion. She had expected to
see the same desert as when she entered the tent, but instead she found
herself in the middle of a large city. As she looked around, B continued to
sing, but she was too stunned to hear what he was saying. The city looked
familiar, but Faith couldn't determine which city it might be, and then it
occurred to her in a flash that this was every city. She didn't know how
she knew, but she did know that every city on the planet was, or soon
would be, experiencing what she was now about to see.
This city lay in ruin. Tall buildings loomed up around her, but
fires were now burning out of control. Terrified people were running past
them, not seeing them, and a score of soldiers were running to form a
defensive perimeter just in front of them. Faith couldn't hear what the
officers were screaming, their shouts were all being drowned out by B's
song, but she could tell that something was about to happen.
Seemingly from all directions, formless, shapeless masses were
moving toward the military blockade. The soldiers opened fired as they
saw their targets. Some fired machine guns, some grenade launchers,
others even had flamethrowers, but nothing seemed to slow down the
forms' progression.
Faith looked on in horror as she could finally make out what the
forms looked like. Thousands, possible tens of thousands, of large
amoeba like organisms the size of a man, seemed to be gliding their way
toward the military stronghold.
She watched helplessly as a soldier firing a machine gun directly
into the center of one of the amoebas ran out of ammunition. He
frantically tried to reload, but before he could start firing again, the strange
life form engulfed him. Faith watched as the soldier instantly began to
dissolve, trapped within the membrane of the strange creature. Within
moments, she watched as the amoeba's nucleus split into two and the
strange creature divided into two separate beings.
Faith looked around the battlefield in horror as the soldiers fought
in vain to hold the line, but the soldiers were quickly being engulfed by
the amoeba like creatures. Grenades, machine guns and flamethrowers all
seemed to be useless to stop the onslaught as the last of the soldiers fell.
She watched in horror as the final few soldiers were dying. One
tried to run, throwing grenades as he ran. In desperation he tried to climb
a telephone pole, but an amoeba creature followed him. He screamed and
detonated an explosive change just as the creature was consuming him.
The force of the explosion had little effect on the creature, but it blasted
the base of the telephone pole away, causing a power-line to fall. Faith
watched as the power-line struck another of the creatures and pierced its
membrane, striking the nucleus. The amoeba convulsed for a moment and
then dissolved into gelatinous heap and died.
Faith heard one line of B's song break through her terror enough to
register.
THEN TAKE A LOOK AROUND DESELMA ALAHBMA
She turned and saw that all of the other soldiers were now dead
and that the amoeba's numbers had continued to grow. The mass of
disgusting creatures continued to move forward, following the screams of
the retreating civilians. Faith watched, now afraid to look away, as the
creatures moved out of sight.
The sky quickly started to darken, and everything would have been
in complete darkness, except that one solitary streetlight still seemed to
function. The streetlight cast its radiance over Faith and the figure of B,
who continued to sing.
AND TELL ME
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN MY
FRIEND
YOU DON'T BELIEVE, WE'RE ON THE EVE OF
DESTRUCTION
NO NO
YOU DON'T BELIEVE, WE'RE ON THE EVE OF
DESTRUCTION
Faith sat in silence as the song came to an end. A shiver ran
through her spine and goose flesh had run the course of her body.
"What the fuck was that, B?" Faith said, turning to him.
The dark, silent figure of B now turned toward Faith and bowed.
As he bowed his hat and sunglasses tumbled off of his head and fell to the
ground.
"Oh, Jesus!" Faith gasped as she saw the single gunshot wound
that was visible on B's face. A bullet had obviously entered through his
left eye and blown out the back of his head. B slowly turned and walked
off into the night.
"Oh, fuck!" Faith said, and collapsed to her knees.
* * * *
Shivering, Faith sat numbly in the middle of the street of a dead
city for some time staring blankly off into the distance, until finally she
spoke. "This is a dream," she said, attempting to make herself believe the
horror that she had just seen hadn't really happened. She knew that it had
to have been a dream, but knowing that didn't make it seem any less real.
She stood and once again looked at the desolation around her.
Then something caught Faith's attention out of the corner of her eye. In
the distance a red neon light had flickered to life. The strange eerie red
glow was the only light in the entire city and she started walking toward it.
As she approached it, Faith could hear the sounds of music in the air, a
familiar melody, until she was close enough to make out that the song was
Lady Marmalade. The sign over the door read CARITAS in red neon.
'How could this place have survived those things' onslaught?' Faith
wondered as she looked through the doorway.
She followed a flight of stairs leading down as the final verse of
the song was just finishing.
"CREOLE LADY MARMALADE," a familiar voice finished
singing as Faith reached the bottom of the stairs and looked out into the
room at the crowd of people sitting around the various tables, in wild-eyed
astonishment.
"Caritas?" Faith said, now remembering the name. "It's Lorne's
bar from Angel," she said, looking at the exact replica of the Karaoke bar
from the television show Angel.
On stage a demon stood that was about 6'2, had green skin, red-
eyes and two small horns coming out of his forehead. He wore an
impeccably tailored plum purple Armani suit and when he saw Faith enter
the bar he smiled warmly. "And there's our guest of honor now. Let's
give it up for her," the demon known as Loren said cheerfully. "We'll
have another one of you fabulous people up here in a moment, but for now
I have to go say a quick hello," he said as he stepped down off the stage
and started to walk toward Faith.
Faith was so shocked; that Lorne had came up and given her a hug
before she could even react.
"Boy, are you in a pretty pickle," Lorne said, turning to the
bartender. "Give me a Sea Breeze. You want anything?" he asked,
turning back to Faith. She shook her head.
"What's-" Faith started, but was cut off by Lorne.
"I know what you're thinking, Princess, I'm not in Kansas
anymore, or more precisely, Idaho. And you would be right...sort of." He
picked up the drink the bartender left for him and took a sip. "This is
really good, are you sure I can't get you one?"
Faith just continued to stare at him confusedly.
"All right, let's just get this out of the way. There is something, or
more likely someone, who has used one of the Morphic Adaptation Units
to change themselves in some unknown way. The result of this change
has given them some type of pheromonal power to control people's minds.
When a person comes into the range of his or her pheromones, they fall
unconscious and a quick battle of wills takes place. In the case of most
people they lose this battle and their dream selves are quickly killed and
they fall under the mind control power of this being."
"In your case, this didn't happen, though. You fell into the dream
state, interesting that you are James in your dreams, and just before you
were about to be killed, you had one of your patented prophetic dreams.
This prophetic dream, while really gloomy, actually saved your life, or at
least your free will. Now you are in a dream realm just outside the control
of the one wanting to take over your mind."
Just then two girls stepped out onto the stage and began to sing.
OH, TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU REALLY,
REALLY WANT
The first girl sang.
OH, I TELL YOU WANT I WANT, WHAT I REALLY,
REALLY WANT.
The second girl sang back.
Faith looked up in surprise at the two girls who were singing. At
first glance, she thought it was her sister Linda and herself singing the
song on stage, but then she quickly realized that it was John and Matt.
John, who transformed himself into a copy of Linda's body and Matt, who
had a copy of Faith's body.
"What's this all about?" Faith asked, pointing at the two as they
sang and danced in unison to the Spice Girls song.
"They're just the warm up act for the bigger numbers that are yet
to come." Lorne said as he walked down and took a seat closer to the
stage. Faith followed him and sat in a chair beside him.
"Oh, my god," Faith said aloud as she looked at the various people
seated at the tables around her, who had previously been hidden in the
shadows. At one table she saw the entire cast of Buffy the Vampire
Slayer. Buffy, Xander, Willow, Tara, Spike, Dawn, Giles and Faith. At
another table sat Max, Karen, Darla and Angelus. At a small table in the
corner Eric sat staring into the eyes of the beautiful Shannon Bailey. At
another table Faith saw her parents, and sitting with them was her brother
Dan, and to her surprise her male body, James. She looked around, but
didn't see Linda anywhere.
The crowded started to clap as the song came to and end. The two
girls hopped off the stage and ran to a table where John and Matt, their
male body counterparts, stood and continued to applaud until they had
received a kiss from the girls and then they sat down.
"What the hell is going on?" Faith said, turning to Lorne. "What is
all this about?"
"This next one is interesting," Lorne said intently. "Try to pick up
the subtle subtext."
K stepped out on to the stage and picked up the microphone, then
smiled down at Faith as he began to sing.
WELL, I GUESS IT WOULD BE NICE
IF I COULD TOUCH YOUR BODY
I KNOW NOT EVERYBODY
HAS GOT A BODY LIKE YOU
BUT I GOTTA THINK TWICE
BEFORE I GIVE MY HEART AWAY
AND I KNOW ALL THE GAMES YOU PLAY
BECAUSE I PLAY THEM TOO
"Can you stop this, please?" Faith implored, turning to Lorne as K
continued to sing.
"Believe it or not, Sugar Plumb, this is important."
"This is embarrassing," Faith said just as K sang...
CAUSE I GOT TO HAVE FAITH
I'VE GOT TO HAVE FAITH
BECAUSE I HAVE TO GOT TO HAVE FAITH
AH FAITH
AH FAITH
I GOT TO HAVE FAITH, AH FAITH, AH FAITH
"That's it! I'm out of here," Faith said, trying to rise, but suddenly
the arms of the chair wrapped around her wrists, pinning her to the chair.
Faith struggled against the hold of the chair, but she couldn't manage to
free herself. The applause from the crowd erupted as Agent K finished his
song. He took a quick bow, winked down at Faith, hopped off the stage
and took a seat at a table by himself.
"What's this all about?" Faith demanded, trying to pull free.
"Sorry about this Faithfully Delicious, but you have to stay till the
show's over," Lorne said as he stood and then stepped up onto the stage.
"Our next song of the night will be a surprise duet between two people
who have no business being together at the same place and the same time.
Two reluctant singers who couldn't possibly enjoy one another's
company, let alone finish a song together. Let's hear it for James Stevens
and Faith the Vampire Slayer from the television show. And they will be
singing All For You by Sister Hazel."
The crowd cheered and Faith watched dumbstruck as her male self
and Faith the Vampire Slayer stepped onto the stage.
James looked nervously at Faith, who rolled her eyes at him and
then looked off in indifference. He stepped forward and picked up one of
the microphones, then handed the other one to Faith, which she reluctantly
took from his hand. The music started to play and the song started. James
began to sing awkwardly.
FINALLY I FIGURED OUT
BUT IT TOOK A LONG, LONG TIME
BUT NOW THERE'S A TURNABOUT
MAYBE 'CAUSE I'M TRYING
Faith looked at James in disgust at first, but then her expression
lightened a little as James sang on. Before she knew what she was doing,
the Vampire slayer was singing along.
THERE'S BEEN TIMES-James sang
I'M SO CONFUSED-Faith sang
ALL MY ROADS-James sang
THEY LEAD TO YOU-Faith sang
I JUST CAN'T TURN AND WALK AWAY-Both James and
Faith sang with absolutely no harmony at all. They sang the next verse
together and their harmony improved as the song continued.
IT'S HARD TO SAY WHAT IT IS I SEE IN YOU
WONDER IF I'LL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU
BUT WORDS CAN'T SAY, AND I CAN'T DO
ENOUGH TO PROVE
IT'S ALL FOR YOU
Faith sang the next verse and this time when they sang the chorus
they both sounded halfway decent, but still couldn't find a harmony
between the two of them. James sang the next verse confidently and Faith
was now watching him with a look of intent admiration in her eyes as she
begun the final chorus.
THERE'S BEEN TIMES-Faith sang
I'M SO CONFUSED-James sang
ALL MY ROADS-Faith sang
THEY LEAD TO YOU-James sang
I JUST CAN'T TURN AND WALK AWAY-Faith and James
continued the song in perfect harmony, watching one another as they sang
in unison.
IT'S HARD TO SAY WHAT IT IS I SEE IN YOU
WONDER IF I'LL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU
BUT WORDS CAN'T SAY, AND I CAN'T DO
ENOUGH TO PROVE
IT'S ALL FOR YOU
IT'S HARD TO SAY-James sang looking at Faith.
IT'S HARD TO SAY-Faith sang to James.
IT'S ALL FOR YOU
They sang together as the song ended and then they just looked at
one another, with funny little smiles on their faces. Slowly they
approached one another, until they were face to face, just staring into each
other's eyes. Within an instant they were kissing and the crowd started to
applaud loudly. They continued to passionately kiss for some time, until
the applause died down. They broke their embrace, smiled at one another
and left the stage. Within seconds they had disappeared into a back room.
Faith, still bound in the chair, watched as the two strange images of
herself exited the room. "So, Lorne, is that your way of telling me to go
fuck myself?"
"This is your subconscious, Sugar Plum, but what you need to
remember is...AAAHHHHHH!" Lorne suddenly screamed and put his
hands to his head.
"What's going on?" Faith asked.
Lorne rocked back and forth, holding his hands to his head for a
moment, then looked up at Faith. "I think another
precognitive...ouch...episode is coming our way."
Before Faith could say another word, a blinding flash seemed to
come from all directions. Faith struggled to free her arms in an attempt to
cover her eyes, but she was unable to do so. Then the flash subsided as
quickly as it had appeared. Faith kept her eyes tightly closed for a
moment, but then slowly opened them. In front of her a figure lay curled
up in a fetal position on the stage facing away from her. The girl, who
wore an orange prison uniform, was sobbing uncontrollably. Faith again
tried to free herself to no avail. Faith turned to Lorne, but found that he
and everyone else had disappeared from the bar.
"Are you okay?" Faith asked sympathetically.
"Please don't!" the girl screamed, and tried to crawl away.
"You're safe here."
"Safe?" the girl cried. "No I'm not!"
The girl turned around and looked at Faith. Faith saw that the girl
had been beaten so badly that one of her eyes had swollen shut. Her face
was like one giant bruise and she had dried blood from a bloody nose
smeared about her face. The front of her prison uniform had been torn
open down to her thighs, but the girl kept its tatters held tightly together in
front of herself.
"What happened to you?" Faith asked, still helplessly bound by the
chair.
"I did it to save her, but it wasn't worth it. Nothing would be
worth this. Just let me die. I can't take it anymore," she sobbed.
"Did what?" Faith questioned. "Who were you trying to save?"
"My sister, Linda," the girl sobbed. "But everything went all
wrong."
"Oh my...God!" Faith gasped as she realized that the girl she was
talking to was a future version of herself. Faith looked at her in horror.
She was beaten so badly that Faith hadn't even recognized her as her
duplicate. And why was she in a prison uniform? And what had
happened to her?
"Listen to me," Faith said sternly. "What happened to you? Who
did this to you?"
"It doesn't matter," she said, crawling toward Faith. "You'll still
do it to save her."
"Do what?" Faith snapped at her injured future self.
"What will bring you to where I am now," the girl sobbed. "But
the thing that really terrifies me is what is to come," she added, pointing
up at the stage as another flash of light forced Faith to close her eyes.
"Oh, Jesus," Faith whispered in horror as she opened her eyes and
saw the figure standing in front of her.
"This is where our future takes us," the girl, Faith's future self,
whispered in her ear, as they both looked at the broken figure on the stage.
The girl on stage had collapsed onto her knees and was staring off
into space, her right arm reaching out for something. Faith looked on in
horror as she noticed that her left arm was completely missing from just
above the elbow. A large gapping wound on her right side oozed a
massive amount of blood. The girl fitfully began to cough and blood
began to run from her mouth, an obvious sign of a lung being punctured.
Her eyes started to roll back in her head and she fell forward onto the
floor.
A final blinding flash forced Faith to once again close her eyes.
Once the light had faded away, her eyes snapped open and she frantically
looked around the now empty stage.
"Oh, get me some aspirin," Lorne moaned.
Faith turned and looked at the green demon that still held both his
hands up to his head. The rest of the people in the room had returned, but
sat motionless, frozen in the last position in which Faith had seen them.
"What the hell was that?" she said, turning to Lorne.
"Sorry, sugar, I missed that one, but we don't really have time to
discuss that now. We have to get you out of here and pronto," Lorne said,
standing up.
"Then get me out of this damned chair."
"Don't you understand that we're in your subconscious? The only
reason you're stuck in that chair is because you want to be," Lorne told
her, walking over to the bar.
Faith looked down at the arms of the chair that had been holding
her in place. They now appeared to be normal in every way. She quickly
got up and out of the chair.
"So why are we going? Is it not safe here anymore?"
"No, not really. Sure, you're safe from the big bad trying to get
into your head here, but you're using your prophetic dream power to make
this a safe haven and it was never meant to be used that way. Your mind
is running in hyper drive, and to be blunt, it will burn out eventually. You
have to go back, face whoever is doing this to you and stop them."
"How do I go back?" Faith asked.
"Well, you just go through the exit and you'll be back in the other
dream realm."
"You mean back where I was about to be killed by Rover from The
Prisoner TV show?"
"No, now that you are expecting it, you won't fall into the dream
trap like everyone else. Instead, you'll end up in a dream realm that will
lead you to he, she or whatever is controlling this whole nightmare world.
But by now it knows that you are resisting it and it will do whatever it can
to stop you. This thing is mega powerful, but it can't control dreams
completely, so you do have a chance, but you have to be careful."
"How do I fight this thing?" she asked. "Can't I just imagine
myself up some superpowers, kind of like in...uh...Nightmare on Elm
Street 3, uh...Dream Warriors?"
"If only it were that easy," Lorne replied forlornly. "Your
prophetic dream power has had a stabilizing effect on the dream realm, so
that whoever is controlling it can't just destroy you with say, uh, an atomic
blast, or by sending Godzilla after you, or by sending a hoard of zombies
to kill you. This stabilizing effect has set up certain rules you both must
follow now, you can only do things you could in the real world and the
infamous 'it' that you will face can only alter a few small things in the
dream realm. In short, you only have the powers of a Vampire Slayer with
which to face this thing."
"How do you know all this?" Faith asked disbelievingly.
"I'm an aspect of your dream power. In the show Angel, you
considered my character to be a conduit to the 'Powers That Be', so your
subconscious mind made me be a conduit between you and your limited
psychic abilities. I'm kind of like your own personal Jiminy Cricket, with
information about the world at large, but we really need to get going. This
place is starting to take its toll on you."
"So everything is exactly as it is in the real world then?" Faith said,
walking over to K, who sat unmoving.
"Exactly."
Faith reached into K's jacket and pulled out the collapsible
crossbow and the three explosive tipped bolts. "I think this might come in
handy then," Faith said, sliding the collapsible crossbow into her belt as
she walked over to Lorne.
"Well, good luck," he said with a warm, encouraging smile.
"Nope, you're coming with me," Faith said with a smile.
"Oh no, no, no," Lorne said with surprise. "I'm not a fighter, I'm
more of a support character."
"Well, I'm going to need some support and besides, you said that
you're an aspect of my power, perhaps even a part of me, so you're coming
with me."
Lorne was about to say something, but then shrugged. "I guess I
would disappear if I stay here anyway, let's go."
They started to climb the stairs toward the exit sign.
"So what's it going to be like on the other side of that door?" Faith
asked.
"Who knows? This is really going to be an adventure," Lorne said,
and then sang.
WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD, THE WONDERFUL
WIZARD OF OZ.
"Don't!" Faith snapped.
"What?"
"If you're singing when we go through that door and I, somehow,
suddenly end up dressed like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, so help me,
I will kick your ass!"
"Okay. No singing," Lorne said crestfallen, but then turned to
Faith and added with a smile, "But you would look so cute with those
Ruby Slippers."
"Don't start," Faith said, giving Lorne a look, as she was about to
push open the exit door.
"Come on, Faith, have some faith. What could possibly go
wrong?"
"Oh...I wish you hadn't just said that," Faith said as she pushed
open the door.
* * * *
Meanwhile, back in the real world only a few seconds of time had
past.
The rental car that K and Faith had arrived in stood parked at the
edge of town in a nearly deserted parking lot of an Olsen's Drug store.
The body of Agent K was collapsed forward over the steering wheel with
the driver's side door partially open. The passenger's side door stood
completely open and a few feet away for it, Faith lay unconscious on the
cold asphalt. Her eyes were rapidly darting back and forth in a REM state
and her head would occasionally twitch as her strange dream journey
continued.
Inside the car, the eyes of Agent K snapped open and he stared
forward like a zombie from a George Romero film. He slowly sat upright
in the seat of the car and jerkily reached into his coat to pull out a Glock
45. With the grace of a marionette being operated by someone with
advanced Parkinson's disease, K pushed open the driver's door and
stumbled out onto the ground, his gun sliding out of his hand. As he
groped for the gun one thought compelled him forward...kill Faith.
* * * *
In the dream realm Faith pushed open the exit door and was
surprised to find that it was no longer night, but was instead now the
middle of the afternoon. And instead of being in the middle of a dead city,
she and Lorne found themselves in the middle of a vast desert with a long
stretch of highway in front of them.
"Oh, great! Another desert," Faith said, crestfallen as she looked
at the highway that extended off into the horizon.
Faith heard the sound of door close behind them and when she
turned to look at it, the door had disappeared completely.
"Hey, take a look at this!" Lorne said, walking over to the side of
the road.
Faith turned and a broad smile spread across her face. "That is too
cool!" she said, walking over to Lorne.
A Harley-Davidson Dyna Wide Glide Motorcycle, with a
completely jet-black body and with brilliantly polished chrome tailpipes
stood parked on the side of the road. Faith and Lorne looked and saw the
keys were in the ignition.
"Looks like we have a ride," Lorne said, looking at the bike.
"Is it safe?" Faith asked, looking at the bike suspiciously.
"It's all right," Lorne replied, stepping over to the bike. "The big
bad can't control this dream realm."
"Great!" Faith answered, still eyeballing the motorcycle. "So, do
you know how to drive one of these things?"
"Well...uh...no."
"Neither do I," Faith said, now discouraged.
"Oh, come here," Lorne said to Faith, and placed his hands on her
temples for a few seconds and then pulled them away. "Now you know."
"Gear shift, brake, clutch, accelerator...that's amazing. How did
you do that?"
"Call it a dream power," Lorne said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Can you teach me...Jujitsu?" Faith asked, smiling and doing her
best Keanu Reeves imitation.
"Just get on the bike, Neo, and let's go."
Faith hopped on the bike excitedly and started it. The engine
roared as she revved the engine like a pro. Lorne climbed on the back of
the bike and looked around. "I guess there are no helmet laws in a
dream," he shouted over the rumble of the engine and put his hands
around Faith's waist.
"I guess there aren't!" she shouted back. "And watch where you
put those hands."
The back wheel screamed as it laid a patch of rubber as the bike
accelerated off down the road. Faith felt Lorne's hands tightly wrapped
around her waist as they rocketed down the road. She felt in utter control
of the bike, as if she had been riding one her whole life as the miles
quickly flew by.
After about fifteen minutes, Faith could see a small building on the
side of the road coming into view. "That's where we need to go," Lorne
shouted into her ear.
She pulled the bike off the road and parked it in front of a single
dilapidated building. A sign hung over the door that read 'Dive Bar' and
to all outward appearances it looked to be just that, a shabby rundown
drinking establishment. The final lyrics from a Doors song blasted out the
open front door and started to fade out.
"Well, now what?" Faith said while putting the bike on its
kickstand and turning off the ignition.
"Now you'll have to go face the guardians of the doorway into 'it's'
dream realm," Lorne said as he got off the bike. "Once you defeat them,
we can go through the doorway to where the big bad lies, you defeat it and
then we, well you, can go home."
"And how do you know all this?" Faith challenged, looking at
Lorne in wonder.
"It's very simple, the reason I know all of this is because...wait a
second," Lorne said with a faraway look in his eyes that quickly turned to
panic. "You have to hurry! There's a danger to your body in the real
world. The 'big bad' may not be able to kill you outright here in the
dream world, but it can still control someone to do it in the real world. We
don't have a lot of time. Go!" Lorne said, pointing to the front door.
Faith sprang off the Harley and sprinted toward the door, Lorne
following quickly behind. In a flash she flew through the front door of the
bar. The place was set up in a typical fashion, a bar with a row of stools
on one wall, a couple of pool tables near the entrance and number of tables
and booths spread around throughout. Four large burly bikers were sitting
around a table and sprang to their feet as she stepped up to a pool table.
The four bikers started toward Faith just as the jukebox started another
song.
WE'LL BE SINGING, WHILE WE'RE WINNING.
WE'LL BE SINGING
Faith snatched up a pool cue and choked up on the handle ready to
swing it.
"Let's go!" she said, swinging just as the first biker came into
range.
I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN,
YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO KEEP ME DOWN.
The pool stick broke in half when it connected with the biker's
head and sent him reeling to the floor. Faith spun the shortened stick
around in her hand so that it was now more like a club and swung at the
next biker who moved toward her.
I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN,
YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO KEEP ME DOWN.
Faith circled her arm around in a flurry of a moment that batted
away the charging man, who collapsed to the floor. Then she brought her
other hand up and swung the stick like a baseball bat at the next charging
biker.
I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN,
YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO KEEP ME DOWN.
When the pool cue connected with the biker's head, he was
knocked off his feet and went flying, where he collapsed onto a table. The
fourth biker changed straight at Faith, meaning to tackle her.
I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN,
YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO KEEP ME DOWN.
Faith quickly sidestepped his charge, grabbed the biker's jacket
and redirected his charge straight into a support pillar. The biker slammed
into the pillar and collapsed to the floor.
PISSING THE NIGHT AWAY
Faith turned and smiled to Lorne, who stood in the doorway. The
smile on his face quickly faded and an expression of distress appeared.
The music was so loud that he just brought his hand up and started
gesturing with his finger that Faith should turn around.
PISSING THE NIGHT AWAY.
Four more bikers had come rushing in from a door next to the bar
and were nearly upon Faith when she started to turn around.
HE DRINKS A WHISKY DRINK
A fist seemingly from nowhere connected with Faith's jaw,
causing her to step backwards and drop her makeshift club.
HE DRINKS A VODKA DRINK
One of the new bikers grabbed a hold of Faith and shoved her
toward the other three.
HE DRINKS A LAGER DRINK.
One of he bikers stepped forward and slugged Faith hard in the
stomach, causing her to double over.
HE DRINKS A CIDER DRINK.
Two of the bikers reached down and grabbed a hold of Faith's
arms and pulled her upright. The other two bikers shared a quick knowing
glance and moved in toward Faith with their fists drawn back to strike.
HE SINGS THE SONGS THAT REMIND HIM OF THE GOOD
TIMES.
HE SINGS THE SONGS THAT REMIND HIM OF...
The music seemed to fade from Faith's ears and was replaced by
the loud beating of her heart as she felt a wave of rage engulf her. Using
the two bikers that held her arms for support, she kicked up both of her
legs and kicked the two bikers that were about to swing at her. They both
went rocketing backwards toward the bar. Then using the downward
momentum of her legs, enhanced by her super strength, she flipped the
two bikers that were holding her arms to the ground. She crossed over
with her left arm to punch the one on the right, and then crossed over with
her right arm to punch the one on the left. The two men lay unconscious
on the floor.
Faith grabbed her club and leaped to her feet. The two bikers she
had kicked were getting up and with two quick swings of her club they
were both unconscious. The pounding in Faith's head faded and the music
returned.
I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN,
YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO KEEP ME DOWN.
In an amazingly fast fluid motion Faith threw her club at the
jukebox, which shattered the glass and sent sparks flying. Within seconds
the music quickly died out.
I GEEETTTTTTTT
"Wow!" Lorne said as he clapped his hands. "Remind me to keep
on your good side."
"Who the hell are these jokers?" Faith asked, indicating the fallen
bikers.
"Just guardians of the portal to the Big Bad, but I don't have time
to explain everything. You don't have a lot of time left. We have to go
through that door," Lorne said while pointing to a door on the other side of
the bar.
Faith and Lorne raced to the door that said Manager on it and
quickly went through it.
* * * *
Back in the real world, Agent K's hand found the gun on the
ground and shakily grasped it. Slowly rising to his feet, K turned,
stumbled a bit, steadied himself and then slowly started making his way
around the car to where Faith lay unconscious. With every step he seemed
to become more sure-footed, as the force that drove him onward became
more adept at controlling his body.
* * * *
Back in the dream realm Faith and Lorne burst through the
manager's door. They stood in a large empty warehouse that in no way
could have been connected to the 'Dive Bar' they had just left. The door
slammed behind them and when they turned to look, they found that the
door was gone.
"Now what?" Faith inquired, but as if in response a series of lights
turned on, illuminating the building.
"IDIOTS!" a voice boomed from the far side of the warehouse.
"How stupid are you to try and fight me in my own dream."
Faith and Lorne spun around to see a large figure stepping from the
shadows. The figure stood seven feet tall, had gray skin and was partially
shrouded in a dark mist that seemed to cling to its body. Through the
darkness, the shape of the figure appeared to be that of a large muscular
male. Two green glowing eyes glared at them through the shifting mist.
"You're the one who's been giving me all this trouble?" the deep
voice said, almost disappointedly. "Figures it would be a chick."
"Hey!" Faith said.
"Always butting their noses in where they don't belong. Every
time I get something going, some chick always tries to ruin it for me.
Well, since I found that box, I've been in control. I control everyone in
this town...everyone except for you..." White gleaming teeth shown
through the dark mist that surrounded the creature's head. "...and that's
about to change."
One of the walls of the warehouse shimmered for a moment, then
images of the outside world appeared on it. The images were shaky and
time seemed to be moving slower, but Faith recognized the rental car that
she and K had been driving. She then saw her own body lying
unconscious on the ground. A hand was shakily raising a gun to aim at
her body.
"OH, FUCK!" Faith cried as she pulled the collapsible crossbow
from her belt. She pressed the release button, which sprang the two arms
out into place allowing her to quickly pull the string back locking it into
place. In a flash she loaded one of the three explosive tipped bolts into
place. With accuracy inherent to her vampire slaying abilities, Faith
instantly took exact aim at her adversary's heart and fired.
The bolt flew with perfect precision straight toward his heart, but
suddenly his eyes glowed red and the bolt stopped in mid-air, and then fell
harmlessly to the ground.
"Is that the best you can do?" the creature said.
Faith took a step forward to make a charge at the creature, but
suddenly found herself floating several feet above the ground. She turned
and looked over at Lorne who was now also helplessly floating above the
ground, unable to do anything, but looking at the large creature.
"With all the trouble you caused me, I figured you would have
been more of a challenge than this. Your weapon is useless and you're
stuck floating three feet above the ground. So now let's just watch as your
body is killed in the real world. And when it goes...you go." The thing's
teeth gleamed in a big smile. "Anything to say before you die?"
Faith looked over at Lorne in desperation, but he just shook his
head and raised his shoulders in look of uncertainty.
'I can't die like this,' Faith thought desperately. 'Oh god, if I die
now, no one will be able to save Linda. I have to think of something.'
The creature took a few steps forward confidently.
"Did you really think you had a chance?" the creature mocked and
then laughed. "You're just a girl."
Suddenly, as if on cue, the sound of an electric guitar began to play
the unmistakable opening that Faith recognized as a song by the group No
Doubt.
The creature took a step back in surprise, uncertain of what to
make of the music that was now playing.
'Not now, not now, not now,' Faith thought as she tried to will
away the sudden compulsion she had to sing. She struggled as the music
played on for several moments.
"Don't fight it, Faith. It's part of your dream power. Let it out,"
Lorne shouted to Faith over the music. "Now!"
Faith had struggled to keep from singing. She knew she was about
to die and didn't want her last act to be singing in front of the thing that
was about to kill her, but she could no longer stop herself. She sang,
'CAUSE I'M JUST A GIRL, I'D 'RATHER NOT BE'
'CAUSE THE AGENCY WON'T LET ME OUT OF THEIR
SIGHT
I'M JUST A GIRL,
GUESS I'M SOME KIND OF 'FREAK'
'CAUSE THEY ALL SIT AND STARE WITH THEIR EYES
I'M JUST A GIRL,
TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT ME
JUST YOUR TYPICAL SLAYER TYPE
OOOOHHHHH...I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE!