Humorous indian porn

Pete And Joe Get Laid Second Stab At Humor In Sex

Pete and Joe have been friends all their lives. As such, they have shared quite a bit in the 30 or so odd years they have known each other. They shared a neighborhood. They shared a school. They shared friends. They shared the same drunken babe the night of their first sexual experience. They now share an apartment, and in a few minutes they will be sharing a pizza."You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?""Yea, I ordered the damn pizza.""Extra sausage?" Pete asks."I got...

Young Couples Were Swapping Spouses and Didn t Know It

Something very ironic, and I think humorous happened between two, young, married couples, and the husband and wife of the first-person couple will give their arousing accounts of what happened.Jason’s StoryMy name is Jason, and I met, Kim, and woman who would become my wife, in our senior year in college. Her bubbly, flirty personality perfectly complements her beauty, and I thought I was the luckiest man in the world to be with her. The only thing I knew about her past were the rumors I heard...

The Ultraboard

The names contained in this story are purely fictional. Any resemblance to specific real-life persons is unintentional and purely coincidental. This is intended as a lighthearted farce and not meant to serve as a serious criticism of any persons, opinions, or ideas. This may be archived/posted anywhere. Just give credit where credit is due, thanks! The Ultraboard By Pretzelgirl Subj: TG ALERT!! Posted By: Daphne Bee Time: Monday 08:36.44 On next episode of "Inedible Bulk:...

Healthcare Reform A nurse fantasy

As I drove over to the new healthcare clinic, I was a bit apprehensive. I truly hate going to doctors. I usually only go to a doctor after I've either broken something or I am bleeding so profusely the blood threatens to change the color of my shirt. In fact, I don't even have a regular doctor. When I had to choose a primary care physician for my HMO, I believe I threw a dart at the page and chose the one it landed next to. I didn't realize until much later that he was in a different state. So,...

Halloween Humor

I often read jokes that make me laugh. Then I think about what a good and humorous story they could make. So I decided to write about a few of them. I hope you get a chuckle out of it, or at least a smile. A big thank you goes to Mistress Lynn for taking of her time to edit this story. **** Roy and Martha Simmons had been married for over forty years. Even though they were still in love, Martha always considered Roy a cantankerous old fool. Of course, Roy always felt Martha was an airhead,...

Clowning Around

Union StationIt was a lousy place for a clown. Lauren felt smug as she stood in Union Station in her clown suit. It had a red nose and big, floppy, yellow shoes. She felt a weird combination of anonymity and conspicuousness.She could see her husband Ryan in the distance on a stairway. He was shooting a video of her as people swarmed past her. Most thought nothing of a clown standing in the middle of Union Station.Some made humorous comments: “Hey, quit clowning around and get on your train!”...

First and Ten Part 6

First and Ten; Part 6 Webster defines paranoia as an irrational distrust of others. Since the events of the past few weeks had provided me with more than my fair share of well grounded reasons to be distrustful of others, I could claim with a high degree of confidence that I wasn't paranoid. Still, that didn't keep me from acting like someone who was. Even Emma wasn't free of suspicion as she behaved the following day as if there were nothing more exciting going on in my life than...

Doc s Complex 24 Doc s Resort

Doc's Complex 24 - Doc's Resort by Lee Most Copyright 2012 by Lee Most -------------------------------------------------------------- Synopsis: Chapter 24 of the FMNaNoWriMo challenge novel "Doc's Complex," in which Alice and Keela spend time on the beach at Doc's Resort. They discuss all sorts of things about the history of the resort and the nature of man's desires, but really this chapter is mostly about love, breasts, and orgasms. Categories and key words describe only this...

Sideshow Bob s Revenge

SIDESHOW BOB'S REVENGE Bart Simpson screamed. He was tied to a table, and the baleful figure of Sideshow Bob loomed over him, wielding a surgeon's scalpel. How had it come to this? At 23 Bart thought he had finally escaped from Bob, but no, here he was, kidnapped and about to die. "Don't worry, Bart, I'm not going to kill you. Death would be too easy. My revenge will be much longer lasting. Something humorous, and lingering. I believe you know Dr Nick?" "Hi, Bart." Dr Nick waved...

Halloween Humor

I often read jokes that make me laugh. Then I think about what a good and humorous story they could make. So I decided to write about a few of them. I hope you get a chuckle out of it, or at least a smile. A big thank you goes to Mistress Lynn for taking of her time to edit this story. Roy and Martha Simmons had been married for over forty years. Even though they were still in love, Martha always considered Roy a cantankerous old fool. Of course, Roy always felt Martha was an airhead, even...

Grandpa s Incest Humor

Grandpa’s Incest Humor When my grandfather died Mom and I got on a plane and flew out to Oregon to attend the funeral. Mom’s two sisters were on their way too with their daughters. We were met at the airport and taken to a place way out in the middle of nowhere. Mom, Aunt Delilah, and Aunt Dominique were a year apart in age. Oh, Mom’s real name is Daphne. Mom was the oldest at thirty-six, Aunt Delilah was thirty-five, and Aunt Dominique was thirty-four years old. They had a lot...

Humoring Me

Had it been a week? Yes a whole freaking damn week. Ugh. Why was he so reserved when he had family or friends over? Why didn’t he want me to be over when he had company? I didn't know, but at least he was consistent over the last three years we had been dating. Back up, rewind. Yes, three years dating and we still weren’t living together, a choice made by both of us. It seemed to work except in situations like this, when it had been at least a week or seemingly more since I had his nice hard...

Sex Fantasy TV A Play Sixth stab at humor

The second humor based short play I wrote back in 2009...sixth stab at humor in sex...Sex Fantasy TV, A Play (Sixth stab at humor)Scene 1: A television studio set sometime in the future. Three couples are seated in front of the main TV camera. The show's host is standing in front of them with a stage behind the host. On the stage are prizes for the contestants. A studio audience is observing the goings on.Characters:Peter Long: Sharply dressed middle-aged man. He is the host of the show.Debbie:...

MY COLONOSCOPY Humor

Dedicated to fellow writer Clarise. Dear reader, this non-erotic short story is my first attempt at writing humor. If you want a little chuckle read on and then leave a comment to let me know what you think of my effort. If you are looking for something a little more sexually salacious, you might want to look at another offering and then come back when you are in the mood for humor. In support and in solidarity, I dedicate this story to my friend and fellow writer, Clarise, who recently had...

SRU Tuning Bimbos

SRU: Tuning Bimbos by Ellie Dauber copyright 1999 "Man," Larry Bryce said, "I cannot believe the way Old Lady Reese came down on us." "I know," Bret Sanger said. "Two weeks' detention for one little joke." "Yeah, but it was almost worth it," Rick Quint said. "The way she screamed and everybody scattered when the mice jumped out of her drawer. Hell, half the guys in the class screamed." The three laughed, remembering what had happened when their teacher opened a...

Mirror Mirror Chapter 1

MIRROR, MIRROR By Deane Christopher Copyright: 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000 e-mail: [email protected] Chapter 1 "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" "'Bout time!" the mirror, a rather garish gold platted eyesore of a mirror, as mirror's came and went in those Golden Oldie Moldie Days of Yore, replied in a huff of unbridled impatience. "And here I was beginning to think that you'd never get around to posing that - as we say in the magical mirror trade -...

The Talk Fifth stab at humor in sex

Man talks to his eleven-year-old son about sex...fifth stab at humor...The Talk (Fifth stab at humor in sex)Hello everyone. I know I talked about my ex-wife and mentioned my daughter briefly, but I never mentioned my son. His name is Mike. I just had to bring him up since this being a sex theme site, I was reminded of a talk we had some years ago. You know the talk. Oh yes, that talk. I can't recall how it went exactly, but I think it went something like this. I was sitting around the kitchen...

Shangaied

I was flying into Shanghai for a business conference and still felt like shit from the giardia I contracted on the last leg of my hiking trip through Nepal.Not to mention that I was shaken by the turbulent ride over the Himalayas, having watched the snowy peaks of the mountains, like a bed of nails below us, as the plane’s cabin violently shook, and passengers screamed.The plane sliced in through the smog, and several people on board applauded as we touched down safely to Pudong Airport…After...

Pete And Joe Get Laid Second Stab At Humor In Sex

"You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?" "Yea, I ordered the damn pizza." "Extra sausage?" Pete asks. "I got your sausage," says Joe sarcastically. "What's taking Jose so long, he's usually much quicker?" asks Pete. "What am I, his mother? How should I know?" Joe adds. Suddenly the door buzzer rings. Joe goes over to the intercom and presses the button. "Hello." "Pizza," a voice says. "Alright, come on up." Moments later...

Tut

I watched the dark colored BMW pull up to the gas pumps. A young man got out, slid his credit card into the slot, punched some keys and started filling his car. He was surprised when Benny came out and started to clean his windshield. He and Benny started talking to each other, and in a couple minutes Benny nodded in my direction. The young guy looked to be about thirty, tall and slender, tanned and well dressed in slacks and a button up white shirt underneath a gray jacket. Nothing unusual...

Damned Pigs

“Skinny dipping? Are you out of your mind? We're in public in case you haven’t noticed. What if someone comes along?”“It’s nearly dark, so what if they do?” My identical twin Mary Helen sat on a convenient root to slip off her Superga chambray sneakers. “All they’ll see is a couple of girls in the water. They won’t know that we’re de-liciously nekkid.”“Ha. And what if they decide to go swimming too?”“We’ll just keep our boobs under the water and outwait them,” Mary Helen said unflappably....

My Recurring Lush Nightmare

"Chris!" With that exuberant syllable I drop the packages just inside the front door and start to rush toward my adorable boyfriend who isn't supposed to be here until tomorrow, but something in his face freeze-frames me like Roadrunner over its ersatz Latin caption.He's sprawled on the couch, having made himself at home. "Your roommate let me in." An open bottle of Sam Adams is on the coffee table, and he's never had anything stronger than Nantucket Nectars. Worse, the tv is dark when it...

Dante Abbracciavento PI Find the man with the buckles on his shoes Pt2

Enter Viviana Vendetti The following Monday morning I had an interview for the secretary position I had advertised. Her name was Viviana Vendetti. She entered my office promptly at eleven AM. I was immediately struck by her beauty. Her big, brown eyes emitted a cool and calm confidence. Long, shiny, chestnut colored hair gently bounced around her shoulders with each step she took, in perfect cadence with the subtle bounce of her large breasts. Her skirt ended past her knees, showing off her...

The Piece Treaty 3rd Gear

The Piece Treaty 3 rd Gear Dave & Cyndee gave Silvia Ferris a sex life when they accidentally hooked her up with a long lost lover. Paraphrasing an old cliché goes: the best laid plans of vice by men could get someone laid once again. Sometimes you do a good deed even if it is unintentional. After a couple nights Silvia’s amorous howling quieted down, Dave was back to his hobbies and Cyn was back to her favorite hobby, sex. Cyn wore Dave down rather quickly. It was not that Dave was a slouch in...

SRU The Map

After those two grim stories about Mike and Marya, here's something a bit lighter. SRU: The Map By Ellie Dauber Copyright 1999 ?Fred, I think we?re lost.? Almost as soon as Margie van Arndt said it, she was sorry. Most men won?t admit that they?d messed up directions or misread a map, but Fred, well?. ?I?m not lost,? he said through clenched teeth. ?This road is just the long way to Wheaton. It?s such a nice day that I thought I?d --? ?Drive past that mall up ahead...

Bashful Must Be Destroyed

BASHFUL MUST BE DESTROYED by Eric (you might want to read Bash's Bakery first) He sat upon his dark throne brooding, his forehead deeply knitted. Such an insult must not be tolerated -- nay, would not be tolerated. Bashful must pay. (Bashful? What a misnaming of names!) Bashful must be destroyed, utterly! How? 'Death was too easy for the slime ball, and transformation into a dirty dog might be a step up,' the cruel figure thought with graveyard humor. His brilliant...

Dennis the Menace 2 The Other Girl

Dennis the Menace Created by Hank Ketcham Parodied by Ron Dow75 02) The Other Girl ?You?re back sooner than I expected,? Alice Mitchell said to her little boy, as she browned the meat for that evening?s stew. She blond hair was in a somewhat short perm around the sides; she wore a lavender shirt with the first buttons unbuttoned, and women?s jeans. ?I didn?t want to play with Margaret any more. And Joey?s taking a nap. He? s still a little kid,? Dennis said, closing, rather...

Gem Starr 4 5 Familiar Traitors

Gem Starr 4-5: Familiar Traitors By Ron Dow75 {Teal put a lesbian love spell on Dianne; but Jim spoiled it by becoming a girl himself, thanks to a stolen UFO. At the moment, he doesn't know he's in love, because he's too disturbed over his own ruined plans.} 4: Familiar, and Best Forgotten In the middle of the night, an attractive girl in a "UCLA" varsity sweater and nothing else covering her bare legs was out in the alley behind some houses. "Being an action star's all...

My Three Sons 13 14 Like Orange and Green

{If you appreciate a story's rhythm, then feel free to ignore what are in the indented braces. They are not central to the narration; they describe some of what the girls are aware of, but not what they are most conscious of at the time.} My Three Sons 13-14: Like Orange and Green By Ron Dow75 13) Can You Ever Go Home Again? Back in the white station wagon, ten-year-old Winnie in the big clear- framed glasses was telling her big, former brothers what she'd gotten in the...

Archie and Betty in Trading Places II

Archie, Betty, Reggie, Veronica, et al. and their universe are property of Archie Comics and are borrowed with the understanding that this story is never to be sold, nor a fee charged at a site to view the story. Dedicated to Eric, our biggest fan. Archie and Betty in "Trading Places" II By Caleb Jones and Anne-Mal Part 7 'Oh My God, what is happening to me??!' Archie thought as Betty's Mom dragged him into the house. Blushing to an even deeper red as he pulled down...

Princess by Default Episode 5

Princess by Default: Chapter-XI By Noel Lexicon Return of a very bad penny 10 days later: ?Robin, that looks smashing,? I said. And it did. She had on a silk sundress with matching gold sandals. Her beautiful tan and healthy figure set the dress off spectacularly. What made my heart race was her smile. It was so full of happiness I could scarcely believe how vivacious and loving she was. The door opened and a male I couldn?t place entered. ?Which of you is Lady Jasmine??...

Messages In A Bottle Of Estrojen

The future in the mirror is closer than it appears. If, thanks to new technology, you had to become a girl for a year in the middle of high school, what would you do? Start a blog, of course. -- Kiai 28jun08 *Hi.* Seven whole years after the dot-bomb hit and it's still true. Most blogs are written by teenage girls displaying their awesome angst in badly spelled prose for the whole World Wide Web to read, just as if they were writing in one of those diaries with a...

Mary s Girlfriend

MARY'S GIRLFRIEND By Tired Old Man This is an expanded and modified version of my story "I Only Date Girls". Author's Notes: This story should not be taken seriously, and should only be read by individuals with a strange sense of humor. Chapter 1 - Are You a Girl? It was the end of another boring day in a boring job. Another night to be spent alone, eating my TV dinner and watching television. I was almost 30, and I felt my life was going nowhere. My love life was a total...

SilkPanties22 Fourth stab at humor in sex

Man pretends to be a woman on an adult story/chat site...SilkPanties22 (Fourth stab at humor in sex)One of my newfound hobbies, so to speak, is reading and writing sex fantasy stories on a sex fantasy website. It is a site I stumbled across while innocently reading an article on sex fantasy. Since joining the site I have found myself fascinated by the number and variety of sex fantasies. It has provided me with countless hours of entertainment. Reading people's fantasies is sort of a way to get...

Pete And Joe Get Laid Second stab at humor in sex

Pete and Joe have been friends all their lives. As such, they have shared quite a bit in the 30 or so odd years they have known each other. They shared a neighborhood. They shared a school. They shared friends. They shared the same drunken babe the night of their first sexual experience. They now share an apartment, and in a few minutes they will be sharing a pizza. "You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?" "Yea, I ordered the damn pizza." "Extra sausage?" Pete asks. "I got...

The Pharaoh s Curse

I was watching a special about Pharaohs of Egypt, and they began talking about one in particular that I found fascinating. They showed a statue Amenhotep IV and I was surprised to see wide hips, narrow waist, and what appeared to be female breasts, on what was supposed to be a male ruler. Well, needless to say, I could see the potential for telling a grand tale of a cursed mummy who transforms victims into female followers. The following is my attempt at entertaining you, and I do...

John Jon What s the difference Part 1 The Term Project

John? Jon? What's the difference? Part 1. The Term Project By Akkano Synopsis: John Smith is a well adjusted, happy, prosperous businessman. In an alternate universe (which is identical to the first universe), his parents name him Jon, instead of John. Because of his being named Jon, his life takes a totally different track in the alternate universe and he becomes transgender. The change of name is largely responsible for his turning transgender, if he had been named John, very...

Madam I m Adam

Warning: This story uses scripture to explore the perils facing time travelers if the bible (and in particular, Genesis) could be interpreted literally. If you are a rabid bible-thumper, you should probably stop reading here. On the other hand, if you actually possess a sense of humor, please continue. Madam, I'm Adam By Sue Kidder Chapter 1. "Adam, you've got to give up this foolishness. Even if time travel...

Der Flaschengeist Teil 7

Der unvermeidliche Disclaimer Diese folgende Geschichte ist geistiges Eigentum des Autors der in dieser Community das Pseudonym "Drachenwind" tr?gt und von ihm frei erfunden, ?hnlichkeiten mit real existierenden Personen und/oder Orten sind rein zuf?llig. Es ist ausdr?cklich verboten, diese Storie f?r kommerzielle Zwecke zu nutzen. Finanzielle Vorteile d?rfen mit dieser Storie nicht erwirtschaftet werden. Kurz gesagt, Ver?ffentlichungsverbot f?r alle kostenpflichtigen Foren oder Webs...

Der Flaschengeist Teil 8

Der unvermeidliche Disclaimer Diese folgende Geschichte ist geistiges Eigentum des Autors der in dieser Community das Pseudonym "Drachenwind" tr?gt und von ihm frei erfunden, ?hnlichkeiten mit real existierenden Personen und/oder Orten sind rein zuf?llig. Es ist ausdr?cklich verboten, diese Storie f?r kommerzielle Zwecke zu nutzen. Finanzielle Vorteile d?rfen mit dieser Storie nicht erwirtschaftet werden. Kurz gesagt, Ver?ffentlichungsverbot f?r alle kostenpflichtigen Foren oder Webs...

The Lucky One Part 3

The Lucky one, part 3 "Here's the story, of a boy named Eddy, who suddenly had become a girl..." (Ahem. Dorothy here. Any chance we could start off without getting me sued? (Poor Dot. By the way, you folks may have notice the length of time since my last posting, and it's all her fault. ) (Oh this should be good...) (You see, Dot had to take a break for "mental health reasons". I bet she was just on the rag) (Umm, Fluke? You do know what "transgender" means,...

The Lucky One Part 4

The Lucky One, Part 4 (Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, and all beings in between, this is the conclusion of the exciting origin of the Fantastic Fluke, "the luckiest person alive." Without further ado, let's join today's adventure, already in progress....) It was a dark and stormy night.... (Umm, Fluke? Dot here. Just what are you doing?) (I got bored waiting for you, so I thought I would get started without you) (Fluke, leave the writing to professionals, okay?) (Fine. Should...

Our Lady of Sorrows

OUR LADY OF SORROWS A Jackie Kaiser Story by Laika Pupkino Somewhere in Heaven (probably downtown, where all the golden freeways come together in a great gleaming bow of an interchange...) is an office building the size of Mount Everest, in which angels with massive ledger books and quill pens keep the balance of our sins. When we do or think something bad it is noted in our account summary, and when we go to confession the priest gives us the bill for whatever we declare, and as...

Girls Love Country Boys 4

Jessie was in his bedroom with his mother Tuesday night and now he regretted telling his mom and dad about seeing Mandy and her house Wednesday. His dad was standing by the door looking amused and laughing as his mom was going through his clothes. He said, "Dad damn it I am glad you find this amusing." Fred said, "Of course and good grief can't you watch your language. There is your mom right there. I hope you don't like that at Mandy's house." His mom put down on the bed a...

Susie

Susie Prologue: Hit by Reality "Shit! This cannot be right, can it?" I was reading through my first payment statement from Big Nameless Fucking Bank Inc. for my college loan and was not at all happy. Since I am now the proud possessor of a degree in finance and economics, you'd think that I would have known that my living expenses plus this loan payment would be more than the starting salary of the job I accepted. I had envisioned working at a large bank (like the one that I...

Beginner s Meeting A Play Third stab at humor

Beginner’s Meeting, A PlayScene 1: A church basement. An odd looking assortment of people are sitting on metal folding chairs arranged in a circle. In the corner is a table with coffee and donuts.Characters: Charles: Middle aged man, about 40 dressed in a plaid sweater. He is the group leader.Pete: a.k.a. Pervert Pete, a graying man of about 60 dressed in a raincoat.Bob: A fidgety man of about 35 who continually clutches an inflatable sheep.Alan: Middle aged man of about 48 dressed casually in...

Punchlines

"Jewelry, my dear, jewelry!"Hold my fingers two incles apart, "This is six inches!""No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you are thinking!"Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?The group at the table started cracking up at every line. They were so loud some of the other patrons were complaining to the management. The servers tried to quiet them down, but in moments another line would be tossed out and their laughter would go wild again."No, we ride the camels to town to meet...

Linda and I Hard Times

Linda and I: HARD TIMES By Olivia Evans This was written during a writer's block of two other completely separate stories. As such, it's a little different from my usual tales. There is very little crossdressing, just the wearing of panties near the end of the story. There's no body swaps, French maids or even mildly bad language. There are some explicit names for specific body parts however. Over all, it's just a little tale about a loving couple and how they handle an...

The Absolutely True and Totally Verifiable History of the Lush Annual Authors Orgy Gangbang

Sitting at his computer, Marcus took himself in hand, stroking slowly, being careful not to get too close to cumming. He had a bet with that doll, Alice, about who could get the other to cum first, and he was damned if he was going to lose.They took turns reading Lush stories over the phone while they both masturbated, non-stop. The one who came first had to forfeit to the other. And Alice had a vicious sense of humor when it came to forfeits…He finished reading a story by an author in Brooklyn...

He Entered A Contest

The laptop screen showed the following: Solve the following and win a prize: Lana "lost" a giggle wood. Or … Send in a story about your most unique sexual encounters and win a prize."Do you wanna enter?" Darius, eager and slightly naive at twenty-two, asked his girlfriend Leandra, impulsive yet quick-witted at twenty-seven."I'm game, baby, but I already know what the prize is," she said."You don't," he scoffed.Only the left corner of Leandra’s lips curled into a knowing grin. She...

What Was I Thinking

(Foreigner's 'Cold as Ice' plays over opening credits and voiceover)Living in Houston I was accustomed to miserable heat and humidity but I was, like every other Houstonian, very unaccustomed to our current plight of bitter cold. My power was off and my water pipes were as frigid as Gwyneth Paltrow's pussy. Cabin fever was my only source of heat. Coupled with the depressing Covid lockdown, a contentious election, and discovering my latest girlfriend was a game player of Biblical proportions, I...

Beauty and The Sexy Beast

Once upon a time there was a beautiful young woman named Bellezza, but everyone who knew her called her Elle. She was a princess who lived alone in a castle in an enchanted forest with only her horse. She was surrounded by a colorful garden and large trees. Elle was far from town and felt lonely in seclusion. She tended to her garden, fed her horse, and read books, but nothing seemed to truly satisfy her.Elle would often stare out the window and daydream about riding her horse onto the...

Meet Kryssi The Bimbo

Hiya everyone. I’m Kryssi, but my real name is Krystal. Everyone calls me Kryssi. Before I even talk about how lucky I am to be with my boyfriend, can I, like, clear the air a bit first? Everyone always makes these totally false assumptions about me, so I want to set the record straight.I am not a hobbit, I am not the famous model that everyone thinks, I am not an interior designer, and I am a natural redhead, not naturally blonde. But I do have magical sex powers.I don’t know why, but most...

Sense of Humor

I coach a girls' soccer team. It started as community service. I got pulled over after too many drinks and too few years. I was only nineteen, and my state says you have to be twenty-one. But I had so much fun that I'm still coaching three years later. I started with an eight-year-olds rec program, and now I coach the twelve-and-under town league and help out with the high school varsity. The town league has teams from all over the western part of the state, so some days we have to drive...

Mutual Benefits Chapters 16 20

“So, first of all, I’m sorry,” Lexi began as we found our table. “Ah, so Morgan’s talked to you already,” I replied with humor, sitting down. I put the straw in my drink as Lexi pouted at me. “I’m allowed to feel sorry without Morgan telling me anything!” she defended herself. I put on a faux blank expression. “Oh, so she didn’t talk to you?” She blushed. “Look… I…” I chuckled. “Apology accepted.” “No, you haven’t even heard it yet. That’s not fair.” She wasn’t turning any less pink. “I...

Mutual Benefits Chapters 1 5

I would have traded anything in the world for another life, one where I wasn’t known by everyone as nothing but a nerd. People kept telling me there were going to be all these benefits later on in life – “think of how easily you’ll get a job,” “you’ll get to be the boss of all those people that bullied you,” “you’ll be set for life.” What the hell kind of life was I set for? They say that high school shapes you and these four years make you who you become later in life. I was on a perfect...

No Denial

If you do not believe it happens, well…fuck you! If you deny that you have never thought about it, well…fuck you again. Might be a given that choices can be made, but circumstances help dictate which fork in the road one might take. So if those circumstances make the choice one that might not be the one you take, fuck you thrice. If you judge without ever taking that rod into your fire…keep going on fucking yourself. Because my choice is my choice, and all the consequences it brings, I accept...

News You Can Use

News You can Use News as fodder for fiction In writing my own erotica, I have turned mostly to my own ideas and imagination for source material. Occasionally, I have also used my own past or present sexual experiences as fodder for fiction. However, another source for story ideas, to which many writers, both of erotic fiction and otherwise, frequently turn is the news. Literotica, in listing articles that relate to sex in the news, thus provides a potential gold mine of story...

The Good The Bad and the Molly Chapter Four 1

"I didn't realize I needed a purpose." I answered her. "Don't you ever hang out with your friends after school or something?" "What friends?" she asked me with a sarcastic smile. "Nope. My best friends are my computer, my books, Khan Academy, Project Gutenberg and Duolingo." I chuckled to myself. "You know, my friends call me a stiff for working too hard." I told her, as if that fact in itself was a hilarious joke. "I need to introduce them to you sometime." "Try it...

Marilyn s Family Reunion

Hey, my fair fans. This is another action-packed installment of my Marilyn series. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it. ( This work is free for the non-commercial and electronic use of the fair readers. Anything else, especially commercial, shout me a holler dun. ;-) Enjoy! MARILYN'S FAMILY REUNION By Brett Lynn The warm humid September air blew through the windows of the speeding silver Nissan Pathfinder as it cruised along the Belt Parkway. ...

Nice Shoes Part 1

Nice Shoes Part 1 By Deane Christopher Copyright 2004 Upon scanning the recently updated list of United's departure times, Ethan Eager Samuels internally fumed. 'Shit. Why the hell did I ever let the woman at the ticket counter back in Philly talk me into taking an earlier flight? Now, owing to an unexpected weather front over the Rockies, and the fact that I'm just too nice of a guy sometimes for my own good, I've got a five and a half-hour layover to look forward to. And, to make...

Mutual Benefits Chapter Three

The test was pretty simple. Not only did I know the subject matter pretty well, I had hours of practice teaching someone else about it, so it wasn’t a shock to see the “100%” on my page. Mrs. Li gave me a congratulatory smile as she gave me the test, and it was clear from the quiet groans that my score wasn’t exactly common in the class.That said, I was still nervous. As Li walked around the room handing out tests, I stared straight at Taylor as Li made her way over to her. I couldn’t see Li’s...

The Good the Bad and the MollyChapter 4

"So what exactly is the purpose of you bringing me out here?" Daisy asked as we walked together through the town. "I didn't realize I needed a purpose." I answered her. "Don't you ever hang out with your friends after school or something?" "What friends?" she asked me with a sarcastic smile. "Nope. My best friends are my computer, my books, Khan Academy, Project Gutenberg and Duolingo." I chuckled to myself. "You know, my friends call me a stiff for working too hard." I told...

The Views of May

I was a creature of habit. If I planned to do something, that was the only way I’d get it done. So, on Tuesdays around four, the only time I could get away from college classes for a long enough time, I’d go to my local hiking trail. Most days I’d follow the regular path, but some days I’d have fun and just get lost. I used to hate nature. I don’t even know what turned me around. For the first 26 years of my life I’d just be inside as often as I could, even though it was clear the smells now...

xHamster Funny Porn

Porn that gets you off is fun, right? How about porn that gets you off and still makes you laugh? I know, I know, that sounds like a tall fucking order. But when you visit XHamster.com (Funny), you will realize that it isn’t as hard to find!Indeed, porn that’s simultaneously sexy and hilarious does exist! But does it mean that while you cum out of your tiny little penis, you will be laughing out loud? That remains to be seen. If that happens, let me know about it by dropping my ass a line on...

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Invisible Girl Ch 02

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"Good morning, Mrs. Stover. I'm Mark Merrick and this is Vickie Marshall. We're here to drive you to your appointment." Mrs. Stover looked carefully at the two people standing outside her door. They were both dressed in uniforms that medical people typically wore these days. Unfortunately Mrs. Stover had seen too many doctors and nurses over the past couple of months to know that. They smiled, and she felt at ease with the strangers. "I'm sorry you had to drive all this way for...

Mutual Benefits Chapters 11 15

It was a miracle that the memories of that second date didn’t make me fail all of my finals. School should have been the first thing on my mind, but it came at a distant second place, after Morgan, and the time we got to share together at the movie theater. Any time I wasn’t texting her, I was thinking of her. Kevin of all people reminded me that I should study for the finals, though Mother also was glad to give her two cents as well. That said, I tried to be humble but I wasn’t delusional –...

Mare s Tales 24

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What does it mean

Okay, let me say to the many that might say what the fuck. And ask why I am posting this. Well I know that there are some that don't know everything so to "ABC" the sex words, (Just for the ones that don't have a clue. And the credit goes to the "sex dictionary"). >>> Please note some of the key words were left off for obvious reasons of course as some of them were very taboo.

South of Bikini 5 Devil s Cauldron

South of Bikini Season 5 Episode 6 "Devil's Cauldron" 1830hrs, Reilly Research Station, July 8th, 2020BC "So you can't recall what you were thinking before that bottle hit you- and you don't remember transporting up to 720BC Mahram?" Emily was still interrogating our sister when I walked into the infirmary. She was intently examining the back of Allie's head. I had failed to notice the dried blood scabbed back there after I had pulled her free of Bilkis. Emily was...

THE SATYRICON OF PETRONIUS ARBITER Chapters 1 26

Author of THE SATYRICON - Gaius Petronius Arbiter (c. 27 - 66 AD) was a Roman courtier during the reign of Nero. He is generally believed to be the author of the Satyricon, a satirical novel believed to have been written during the Neronian era (54-68 AD). Tacitus, Plutarch and Pliny the Elder describe Petronius as the elegantiae arbiter (also phrased arbiter elegantiarum), "judge of elegance" in the court of the emperor Nero. He served as suffect consul in 62. Later, he became a member of...

Native American Nympho Stoner Ch 03

As she dragged her suitcase next door to her grandparents’ house, Shannon felt the happiest and most optimistic she’d ever felt. After all those agonizingly slow years, she was back in her beloved Montana to stay permanently, she was going to reside with her grandparents and spend much of her time next door with her best friend, she had unlimited access to marijuana, she had a new tattoo with many more on the horizon, and best of all, she had a new boyfriend who she was totally crazy about. ...

Love Will Find a Way

‘Geez,’ thought Charlie, ‘I can’t believe I’m sitting here jealous of squirrels. Even they get more action than I do. How sad is that?’ This thought scrambled into his mind as he watched two squirrels apparently lit up with speed, bobbing and weaving near a tree. In their helter-skelter way they repeatedly approached one another, each putting it’s paws gently about the other’s neck and seemingly playfully pecking the face of the other. Squirrel love. Charlie sighed. He just couldn’t watch...

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Shroom Dungeon First Delve

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Music Love

[This is merely character development for what will progress into a romance story. If you’re looking for immediate sexual content, this is not the story for you.] As his fingers strummed the last chord of his encore, the uproar of females’ satisfied screams flooded Jake’s ears. The stage lights went off and he quickly grasped his amplifier chord with his sweaty fingers and pulled it out before walking offstage with his guitar. It had been a long and grueling set, but Jake was pleased with his...

Breaker Breaker

With apologies to Jennifer Sue. The following story makes authorized use of the setting and some of the characters painstakingly developed in her monumental *Ladd's Exchange Mall* series (q.v. in these Mania pages). Breaker, Breaker by Jenny Leeds Senator Breaker's heart sank the moment the judge flicked a sympathetic glance at him before seating herself. It would be everything he feared. A bailiff intoned, "The prisoner will rise." Breaker watched Acious...

Andersonville 2 Judge less

Andersonville 2 - Judge-less by Kelly Davidson This story dedicated to Mathew Shepherd, who lives in the hearts of all open-mind people. Fade in... The warm glow of yesterday's conversation with my father ended in the cold reality of Monday morning. The cold reality that I was a young, teenage girl. The cold reality that I was expected to act like a girl, something totally foreign and yes, something I found even a little scary. And the cold reality that I had no idea why I...

Andersonville 30 The Day Dennis Butz Died

Fade in - Andersonville Cemetery 50 years from now. Gently I placed the flowers on the grave of my beloved husband with much sorrow. Three long years had past since his death, and yet I missed him as much as the day he had died. Close by were the graves of my parents, also having long ago gone to their reward. The Anderson's hadn't been my biological parents, but I had called them my own just the same. Next to my parents was the final resting-place of my brother, Steve, AKA...

Tim The Teenage MCPart XIII 8 College Life

"Jeff Wimble... " the middle aged and nearly bald man called out. "Here... " a voice said somewhere from the right side of the room. "Is there anyone here I didn't call?" the instructor finally asked. I raised my hand, having gotten used to not being on the attendance sheet from the two previous classes I had been in. "And your name is?" "Tim Brandon... That's be are ay en, dee oh en." I said, remembering to spell my last name without the t. "Uhm, student number is four...

Fractured SoulsChapter 5 College Life

“Jeff Wimble...” the middle-aged and nearly bald man called out. “Here...” a voice said somewhere from the right side of the room. “Is there anyone here I didn’t call?” the instructor finally asked. I raised my hand, having gotten used to not being on the attendance sheet from the previous class I had been in. “And your name is?” “Tim Brandon ... That’s B r a n d o n.” I said, remembering to spell my last name without the t. “Yes, I graduated high school a year early and I’m only...

Vegas Show Guy

Vegas Show Guy February 28, 2005 Brief: Suzy agrees to move to Vegas because her husband Dan believes it is the place that will give him the opportunity to perform in live dance shows. Dan discovers that there are plenty of dance shows for attractive female dancers, but that there are very limited opportunities for men. When an unexpected opportunity comes along, it has consequences he never...

Quest For KnowledgeChapter 17

The morning brought more strangeness. Nilsen was somewhat wary of how Makro would feel about their new sexual relationship given the light of day. He was afraid she would regret it and avoid him but nothing could be further from the truth. In fact if anything she almost smothered him for most of the day. They would have had trouble separating her from his arm with a crowbar if anyone had been foolish enough to try. That didn't bother him overly much, other than the time she tried to follow...

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When I 'woke up' from my Energists induced slumber, I felt completely refreshed and energized (pardon the pun). Based on my last memory, I wasn't dressed for much of anything, so I 'looked' at myself and thankfully discovered I was dressed in my comfortable teaching attire. "We hope you are feeling well and ready for another round of teaching," I heard the Energists say as I became fully aware of my surroundings. When I accessed those surroundings, it reminded me that I really needed...

The Good The Bad and the Molly Chapter Twelve

“Yeah. This is nice.” she replied politely with a small smile. “When you live so close to a place you kind of forget to check it out and play tourist from time to time.” “Yeah! This place is really cool. There’s a neat little ice cream place here too. I saw one last time I was here with D- with Diane.” I couldn’t let it slip that I was hanging out with Daisy behind Molly’s back – even if Molly eventually bought the supergenius story, me hanging out with her sister who was twelve at the time...

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Written exclusively for XnXX.com At the sound of an unfamiliar car engine rumbling into the driveway, a puzzled Jennifer stood up and walked to the window to identify the source of the noise. Surely Dave hadn't bought yet another car? Being married to a confirmed petrol-head had some advantages, such as always having an exciting motor-car to ride around in, but it also had some disadvantages, such as their garden, garage and often the kitchen filled with oily rags, oil, tools...

Intimacy with Songbird Ch 03

It was Sunday, Father’s Day, I left the Sanctuary mid-service to hit the laboratory and met Erin coming into the building through an infrequently used side entrance. Hugging as usually, she wished me a happy father’s day and, totally out of character, kissed me hard on the lips. Zipping on, leaving me stunned, I turned to see my wife standing on the inside of twin doors some 30 feet away. Erin had continued by me and the nursery and had not been aware of her presence, as well as I. She looked...

Webcam Boys Chapter 10

Introduction: Carls masterplan to finally expose Peter as PBear is underway. Meanwhile, Johns impending eviction has William worried hell lose his brofriend forever Posters notes This is a series originally posted on Nifty by a friend of mine. On his behalf (because for some reason, he couldnt get an account here), Im posting it here. He reckons people who read here might like it too. The tags for this story arent specific to any one chapter, but are general for the entire series. Its a work...

The Girl Of His Best Friend

Introduction: A story written for the Calling All Writers 7 competition on the xnxx forum. It is a shorter story only featuring one sexual encounter, but I hope you enjoy it. This story is based on an old tale, one which is not mine. The Girl Of His Best Friend. Written exclusively for XnXX.com At the sound of an unfamiliar car engine rumbling into the driveway, a puzzled Jennifer stood up and walked to the window to identify the source of the noise. Surely Dave hadnt bought yet another car? ...

Local Affairs 2 Beyond the Call of Duty

New Zealand weather is notoriously changeful, and by the time Greg awoke on Saturday morning it had completely changed from the previous day’s torrential rain that had played a part in precipitating his sexual encounter with Andrea Hemsley. It was a glorious Christchurch summer morning, and brilliant sunshine already flooded the kitchen as he pottered preparing his breakfast of coffee and toast, his head still full of memories of her. It was not just her awesome sexuality that preoccupied him....

He Fooled His Best Friend s Wife

At the sound of an unfamiliar car engine rumbling into the driveway, a puzzled Jennifer stood up and walked to the window to identify the source of the noise. Surely Dave hadn't bought yet another car? Being married to a confirmed petrol-head had some advantages, such as always having an exciting motor-car to ride around in, but it also had some disadvantages, such as their garden, garage and often the kitchen filled with oily rags, oil, tools and various s**ttered automobile parts, strange...

The Fox and the Wolf Part 2

I’m not the kind of person to regret any decision I have made in my life so far. I put thought into my words and calculate my actions carefully before I proceed in any situation; but what happened last night with Christina was totally unplanned. I have been with quite a few girls in my life so far, but this one had a certain element to her that unsettled me, made me wild and angry, pissed off at how much she could get away with. She was one of those girls who thought men were her playthings and...

THE VIRUS CHAPTER THREE

THE VIRUSBy Amanda WrighterCHAPTER THREETOWNHOUSE ROW – GARLAND STREETRICHMOND VIRGINIA1: 10 PMDAY ONE Tiffany Phelps clicked the alarm button on her keychain and waited for the telltale chirp of her BMW convertible. After the annoying noise informed her that her car was secure, she dropped the keys into her purse and made her way the short distance up the steps to her townhouse and found the front door locked. Annoyed, she rapped on it several times. Her son, Franklin opened it a few moments...

The Girl Of His Best Friend

At the sound of an unfamiliar car engine rumbling into the driveway, a puzzled Jennifer stood up and walked to the window to identify the source of the noise. Surely Dave hadn't bought yet another car?Being married to a confirmed petrol-head had some advantages, such as always having an exciting motor-car to ride around in, but it also had some disadvantages, such as their garden, garage and often the kitchen filled with oily rags, oil, tools and various s**ttered automobile parts, strange...

The Bet Chapter 25

The Bet by Karen Singer Chapter 25 (Tuesday - week 4) Her dreams were not peaceful. It's hard to dream peacefully when you're worried that you may have done something you shouldn't have. But did she? In some dreams her life was ripped mercilessly apart by unknown forces - she was condemned and punished, again and again, for deeds she shouldn't have done. Yet in other dreams, she was proven justified in the end and felt exalted. Dreams of vindication that were followed by...

Slave of the Outcast

Chapter 1Charles Greene and his three mates were loitering around the lower floor of the mall. There were lots pf people in the mall. Kids running around and screaming. Cliques of women pacing around, carrying bags of purchases. Elderly couples eating their ice cream cones. Charles Green’s mates were also his classmates and their names were Jim, Casper and Norman. They had finally finished their secondary school education. They had finally finished school and were now on holiday....

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