Sleepwalking Daddy
- 2 years ago
- 49
- 0
Funny porn has been a lateral staple of pornography since porn producers realized they could package their blooper reels and sell them instead of binning the whole thing. Bloopers are hilarious in porn and in general, so it’s no wonder they started the trend of funny porn. There was also the 90s teenage mind that decided that the funniest thing ever is a chick with a cock, and so dudes would send each other pictures and videos of babes that reveal their cocks, and then they would call each...
Funny Porn SitesSan Diego is a wonderful place, even in the winter. Thanksgiving and Christmas have a different kind of feel when you are surrounded by palm trees, beaches and beautiful women. The lack of snow, and cold weather is fine with me, after all, I live on a boat and have good reason to avoid miserable winters. The first time I was there was in the winter of 1975. My reason for being in San Diego that winter was simple. Eight weeks of fun and sun in the U.S. Navy recruit training station awaited me....
What’s up, you horny fuckers!? I hope you haven’t been too busy breaking that cock off because I’ve got a treat for you today! It might be the perfect thing to give that poor arm a rest day! (Or not.) Don’t you ever get tired of pulling on that little thing? I mean, it must be exhausting! Haha! I bet that right arm is about the size of Terry Crews’! Anyway, depending on how horny you are right now, what I’m about to show you might give you something else to do other than pull your dick...
Funny Porn SitesReddit NSFW Funny, aka r/NSFWFunny! There are a lot of NSFW funny porn sites out there, and they've been active since the early 2000s - I remember being on the old "FunnyJunk" and opening up NSFW stuff that was meant to be "funny" just so I could fap to it like the horny middle schooler I was. Nowadays, this genre of "funny porn" is still active, and even though it has spread around enough the internet to be considered a serious genre, it's still viewed as a very alternative representation of...
Reddit NSFW ListSleepwalking By Morpheus I was just a sophmore in high school when I discovered my unusual talent. One night I said good night to my Mom and Dad, same as every night, then said good night to my sister Annie, who was a year older than me, again like I did every night, and went to bed. Nothing at all unusuall. But when I was sleeping, I think I had a rather strange dream, though I couldn't remember what it was once I woke up. Only an odd sense of drifting, perhaps of...
Jerking off is serious business. It’s not just a hobby for me. It’s a way of life. It’s why I get up in the morning and how I pay my mortgage. That doesn’t mean porn can’t be funny, though. I’ve been around my fair share of porn sets, and trust me, shit can get pretty goofy. But how could it not? It’s a goofy situation. Imagine waiting around naked to start rolling while twenty other clothed professionals run around tending to equipment that’s about to film you fucking.In such a setting,...
Funny Porn SitesI like church girls. I guess that's my MO. Won't every catch me though, that "good girl" tendency is the closest thing to a pattern they'll find. There’s always a pattern though. Constantly plagued by it. Even if you never have a pattern, never having a pattern becomes a pattern, right? Maybe I over-think it, but that’s what keeps me ahead. I definitely have one common factor in all my attacks though. I never let them live. For a while, I never left DNA evidence, but it became too much...
When a cheating wife ill-treats and leaves a struggling poor factory manager, sometimes the very best revenge in life is to live well! A tale of how karmic justice sometimes does work out for everyone. Any story codes are trivial and only implied. Genre: Romantic Codes: MF FF Mult Humor Cheat preg Sex Content: Minimal Sex Originally Posted on SOL: 2009-06-21 Thanks to Jake and my usual cast and crew of Editors and Advance Readers! This story was in a worse mess than usual but we eventually got...
Ok so of you read my previous stories you know about Darrel . Dave also knew about Darrel and wanted us to try swinging together . We booked an adults only resort in Jamaica because it's was one of the cheaper ones . As we arrive they are giving everyone drinks at the airport and the guy handed it to me and says your going to have fun here ! .I thank him and continue to our transportation to the hotel . We see a sign and we stand with the rest of the crowd but we realized everyone was a bit...
I would like to say I'm sorry in advance for my Grammer I have to be drunk to write these stories otherwise I'm too embarrassed . So picking up from part one of the craziest story of my life , I am looking at these papers and everything is negative and his name Is josh and as I am just scanning other things to be sure he breaks my concentration and says can we continue and I look up and him and Mike are in front of me and I couldn't help but to compare and Mike was thicker but josh was a lot...
Sexy And Funny! Welcome to a place that’s full of laughs and full of wanks. The site SexyAndFunny.com focuses on both the funny and sexy as the name would suggest and tries to bring it to your screen as authentically as possible. Now, I don’t know about you, but I love me a bit of banter when it comes to sex. It helps keep things fresh. I’ve gone through so many women that I would certainly have gotten bored with sex if I didn’t use a little bit of humor here and there to spice things up.Want...
Popular Porn Blogs‘Sometimes I think about how odd it would be to catch a glimpse of the future, a quick view of events lying in store for us at some undisclosed date. Suppose we could peer through a tiny peephole in Time and chance upon a flash of what was coming up in the years ahead? Some moments we saw would make no sense at all and some, I suspect, would frighten us beyond endurance. If we knew what was looming, we’d avoid certain choices, select option B instead of A at the fork of the road.’ These words,...
IncestPrologue ‘Hey Sim, are you doing anything Monday night?’ ‘Hey Gin, Monday, the 14th?’ A pause. ‘No, nothing special. Why?’ ‘Couple of the girls and I are having a little impromptu gathering in the green room. Be nice if you stopped by.’ A short pause, then: ‘Jason’s cool with it.’ Jason was the Company Manager, and if he wasn’t cool with it just yet, he soon would be. ‘Alright, that sounds like fun. Shall I bring anything…or? ‘Nah. Don’t worry about it. Just bring yourself.’ Sim gave a...
Ted rushed back to the house in a frenzy, walking a little oddly from the cock throbbing in his pants, ready to explode from the rubbing of the fabric. He pushed away the recurring images engraved on his mind of Sarah’s lips enveloping Terry’s shaft, working down relentlessly to the hilt as her clearly well-practiced throat opened easily to his eight inches of magnificent flesh. Her ass had risen and fallen behind her head like a drunken rising moon as Terry sucked her into their mutual...
College Sex(episode 7)Over the summer break after my freshman year at UGA I was working full time in a grocery store to earn spending money for the next school year. I would see my girlfriend, Jennifer on my days off, either going to her house in Atlanta or she would drive up to see me. We’d often would go out on the lake skiing, using my dad’s smaller ski boat. One weekend I was able to borrow my dad’s large boat for the day. Jennifer and I had several friends who were dating each other at the time join...
College SexI remember when porn forums were treasure troves of hot porn that you wouldn’t find anywhere else on the internet. These sites thrived even when other porn sites were first coming out. Why? Well, connections weren’t great back then. It was easier to watch a gif of some hot bitches tits bouncing on a forum than it was to try and load an entire video on shitty, dialup internet service.They’ve been on a bit of a decline lately, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still some great forum sites out...
Porn ForumsIf you haven't read part 1 I suggest you go back and start at the beginning. Lol My cousin Grace had dropped a bomb on me telling me what she and my sister Sue had done while I was sleepwalking when I was only 11. This was a couple decades later. We were drinking and smoking a bowl, and getting pretty fucked up. I asked her if they ever did anything else after that. I was really turned on by now and my cock was raging hard. She smiled mischievously, and told me that they started making plans...
from sleepwalking IV We laughed for a few minutes before she looked at the clock. "Shit, I have to get this stuff back. I wish I could see you again Martin, I really do." "Why can't you?" She kissed me deeply, causing my dick to stir once more. "I'm engaged. Tonight is my last night at the conference before I go home to get married next week." "Wow, I didn't know. Hope I gave you a good last thing!" I smiled, chuckling softly. "Fulfilled almost all of my fantasies. Oh god that was...
This is a re-posted and edited version of the original story, but there are no significant changes. I asked LadyCibelle to read it through and remove the all too many mistakes and typos I generally make. Hopefully it will make it easier to read. * It’s funny how your mind works when you see something or someone familiar. I had just come out of a shop on the High street, when something caught my eye. I looked, and then I had to look again. No that’s impossible. No my eyes had got to be...
My name is Jim, and I'm twenty-two. I'm in college, and I have this roommate, named Ed. He is twenty-three, and always seems to have bad luck when it comes to the ladies. There was one time, when we were at a club, that he was trying to pick up a couple chicks. There were two ladies, and he actually thought he was gonna get us both lucky."You know ladies, those beer bottles aren't the only hard objects around you," he said.They both just laughed, and walked away."Dude, what the hell was that?"...
Humor119. ITS BEEN A FUNNY SORT OF WEEK WELL, what happened was that I like a huge number of others like to watch porn, logically the follow on from that is to watch it for real and that can mean cuckold if you’re a married man like me. Now cuckold to some means having a large black screwing the good lady. Now I am not racist, you sir could be black brown yellow red or white and it don’t bother me a jot; to screw my misses you just need a dick and a sense of humour cos though I wish to watch, I...
FUNNY HOW THINGS TURN OUT For the first time in my life I was popular, what's more it was with the most attractive girl in the area. I just wasn't normally her type being quite short and certainly not what one would describe as muscular. Jillian was beautiful, intelligent and did I mention that she was the daughter of the biggest crime boss in the region? Not that I was aware of that at the time. I knew he had his hands in various borderline businesses, two or three clubs and a...
It's funny how your mind works when you see something or someone familiar. I had just come out of a shop on the High street, when something caught my eye. I looked, and then I had to look again. No that's impossible. No my eyes had got to be playing tricks on me. Standing there across the street, was Rebecca. But no, it couldn't be! This was a young woman who looked just like Becky had looked, twenty-odd years ago. My mind raced back to my first meeting with Becky at a party when we were...
The next morning, Karen was still asleep when I slipped out of bed and headed for the washroom to relieve myself. When I was washing my hands, I noticed that they were still clean, but the felt a little rougher than last night. Also, I couldn't smell that unusual smell any more. I guess that shouldn't be a surprise. It had probably worn off by now. When I slipped back into bed and tucked myself up against Karen, she moaned a little and pushed herself back into me. Well, you can guess what...
Chapter Two Valentine’s Day Gets Happier A great dinner featuring incredible food and easygoing conversations, most of them with fellow couples celebrating love day, Jill surprising me with her ease of conversation with these strangers, became followed by an amazing concert. McCoy Tyner, John Coltrane’s pianist during the sixties, had been playing solo at that time. So it surprised me that he was joined by a tenor saxophone and flute player and an upright bassist. No drums. Both were young...
“I think there’s something funny going on here!” Mila whispered. We were just getting back to our room from an afternoon down at the beach. It had gotten dark, and we were going to take a dip in the hot tub in the common room of the rustic bed and breakfast where we were staying. “What do you mean?” I asked. “Listen!” She said, her ear to the door. I put my ear to the door, and could hear noises of people moving about. “So we don’t have the carriage house all to ourselves any...
This is a true story. Names have been changed to protect the key players.My wife, Sue, was short but very well built. Everywhere that we went other men could be seen to eye her off and it was obvious to me that she enjoyed all the attention. She loved sex. I was a bit of a stud in my day when it came to endurance so we would often have several sex sessions in a night.At the time of this story we had 2 children, a boy and a girl, and we had decided that we would have no more children. We enjoyed...
CheatingThis is a true story. Names have been changed to protect the key players. My wife, Sue was short but very well built. Everywhere that we went other men could be seen to eye her off and it was obvious to me that she enjoyed all the attention. She loved sex. I was a bit of a stud in my day when it came to endurance so we would often have several sex sessions in a night. At the time of this story, we had 2 c***dren, a boy and a girl and we had decided that we would have no more c***dren. We...
Funny Business FarmShortly after my parents were divorced, one of my fathers clients had passed away leaving everything to his now widowed wife. Dad received a call from the widow, requesting a meeting to discuss the widow's holdings. As their financial advisor for the last 8 years, he was familiar with their assets.They met in his office; folders spread across the desk, each representing all the real estate and business ventures she now owned exclusively. Dad explained that all of her holdings...
I have a funny, and frankly, hot, story from spring break 1996 when I went to Jamaica with my friends in college. There, I met a fellow spring breaker named Jamie who was a bit of a hippychick complete with cornrows (that she had done in Jamaica as many tourists are apt to do). Our evening consisted of an all-night toking and 69 session in her hotel room. The air was so dense with weed smoke that I really couldn't smell her otherwise musky pussy. However, I was kind of on the look-out because...
Hello everyone, this is my first story here... This is a real one, i haven't many of them to tell so in the future i could switch to fantasy. I'm also not english so tell me about my writing :-pBy now: here the facts. I was 23 and i broke up with my boyfriend after almost 1 year, i was very sad, angry and, must admit, cock-hungry.That night a good friend of mine held a birthday party in a nightclub, we danced and had a very good time, drinking much. Aware of me being a good drinker, my friend...
My Funny Androgyne (c) 2005 by Nom de Plume What will Donna Mae Trix get her girlfriend for Valentine's Day? Could a cruise be the cure for the wintertime blues? The continuing misadventures of Miss Anne Thrope, by the author of The Jessica Project. * * * Winter in Chicago is bad enough when you're a businessman who can get away to Palm Beach or Palm Springs. When you have to put on a dress and...
I DONT THINK THIS IS TRUE BUT ITS SO FUNNY I NEARLY WET MYSELF LAUGHINGon your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney . The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called 'Mate Match'. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers'yes',he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the...
When i was 18 i had my first orgy ...it was me, my boy, this girl i had just met, and her friend. It all started at cici's (pizza buffet) me and my boy had walked in to grab a bite when we came across two big booty chicks ...we hit it off and started talking after five min's into the convo 1 of the girls asked if we wanted to fuck!!!! lol i know i couldn't believe it myself it was as if an angel came down and sprinkled pussy juices all over my throbbing cock ..... i was so shocked that they...
The Man Behind the Badge: Funny Face of the Swindler © 1994, 2020 by Anthony Durrant I was about to get into my car when I saw a tall woman begging for food. I gave her my lunch and then went into my car, which I started before driving off. "Thank you, sir!" she said. "You'll be duly rewarded, for I am Jaa'Dhur, a Star Beast." As I drove to my conference, I swerved to avoid a speeder and lost control of my moving car. I crashed through the siding and landed upside down,...
“I think there’s something funny going on here!” Mila whispered. We were just getting back to our room from an afternoon down at the beach. It had gotten dark, and we were going to take a dip in the hot tub in the common room of the rustic bed and breakfast where we were staying. “What do you mean?” I asked. “Listen!” She said, her ear to the door. I put my ear to the door, and could hear noises of people moving about. “So we don’t have the...
Group SexBeing half cast boy, I'm considered quite good looking by many different types of people. Even gay people. In my native country it was normal for me to be hit on by girls and guys. But getting to NZ it felt different. I guess it may have been from the fact that I got here just before I hit puberty. I was a late bloomer however. Everyone got bigger and hairier earlier than I did. It seemed a lot earlier. And I was left in awe whenever I saw someone else's penis. How much larger it was than...
First TimeThis is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual people is a sign that you, and they, need immediate counseling with a qualified mental health professional. How I lost my mind, but found true love and happiness. I got up early Saturday and spent most of the day at the marina where I keep my boat, making sure it was absolutely spotless and stocking it with plenty of food and drinks. I really meant what I’d said about spending all day on the boat Sunday and wanted to make sure...
Anyone looking for JAV HD today is definitely on the right track, because that’s actually what this next site is called. I don’t see a lot of .today domains, maybe because they usually look and sound pretty clunky, but this one has a nice ring to it. Then again, I’m probably biased because my yellow fever has been flaring up since I got out of bed this morning. It’s funny how it’s called yellow fever, but the main symptom is blue balls.JAVHD.today is home to best known treatment for my ailment:...
Asian Porn SitesThere are days - almost every day - when any stress and worry of the day start to wash away the moment I leave work, and the last traces disappear the moment I come through our gate and walk up the green and mossy path and through the front door, and anything that has gone on during the day just doesn't matter because I know I'm home and I'm with you and there is nothing else at all that matters in all the world.But there are also days - not often, just very occasionally - when the day is not...
No Shoelaces Today! By Jordan Holder All I really wanted was a pair of shoelaces, but I couldn't seem to find the dusty old shoe shop--you know, the one that every mall has near an undesirable entrance, where the rent is lower. One of mine was frayed and about to break, and I didn't want to have to try to tie the ends together. Better just to replace it before that happened. I couldn't believe this mall didn't have a shoe repair shop. I tried one side corridor after another and...
“May I?” “What? Sorry, what did you say?” “Excuse me! I was only asking you if you minded me sitting here.” “Oh, no; of course not!” “Thank you! I’ll try not to disturb you.” She gave him a little half-smile then went back to her book. Tom Shepherd recognized the cover design of the romantic novella’s publisher and smiled to himself. They never spoke the whole time that they were sitting there, but as she stood to leave, Jean Metcalfe looked his way, nodded, then walked away. That was...
My story starts when i was involved in a bad car crash. My son John was in the car with me. He was knocked out and i had dislocated my shoulder. The 18-wheeler that had slid over the corner and plodded into us left me no chance to avoid him; the only good thing was i was not going fast. My son who was 16 at the time ended up in hospital for three days and i had my arm in plaster for 4 weeks. My son seemed fine and things went back to normal. Something about our family! My husband Peter is 41...
She slid slowly off my big cock, the length and girth of it slowly withering away. We had just had hot sex in the bottom of the shower and I had blown my nuts in my mother in law's cunt twice already. Considering the amount of sex I had been having with my wife over the past several months, I was amazed I had lasted as long as I had. She knelt down in front of me, waiting. I sat back against the back of the shower, spreading my legs wide to allow her to clean me. I watched as her head...
It was wednesday, and my mother in law and I had done very little except eat, sleep, and fuck. and Fuck. and fuck some more. The woman was an absolute dynamo, and my wife was an absolute memory. She had called on Tuesday and dropped what she thought was a bomb on me by telling me that she wasn't coming back, and that she wanted a divorce. I threw her a curve by telling her I just needed the papers to sign, and she'd be out of my life. "What?" "What's wrong Janet? I am just trying to...
Jessie, Julie and I woke up and had another session before they had to get back to the conference. I went back to sleep after they showered and left and crashed until the phone rang. "Martin? Are you still asleep?" "ugh mfn huh? Hey Jess. Duh!?" She giggled. "Awww, poor baby. Must of worn your old bones out huh?" I could hear Julie cackling in the background. My mother in law seemed to be enjoying wearing me out. I heard the phone switch people and Julie's voice came on the line....
A LIFE WILL CHANGE TODAY Hi, my name was Steven Weiss and I lived in an average sized city (the suburbs) in America's heartland. While I could tell you all about my life today..... I will spare you these tales and focus on how I became what I am. I was in my late 30's and working odd jobs as a waiter, a bar back and any other type of work that would pay my bills and leave me enough extra to do what most other single 30 yr olds do... go out and party! Oh by the way, I have always...
“Virginity is neither security nor a sign of purity, it is the lack of opportunity!!!” But today finally i got a perfect unexpected opportunity…yes, a very wonderful and thrilling experience for the first time in my life in a never expected way… You know, “sharing happiness is double happiness…” But sharing this wonderful experience to family or friends is some what shy for me…as i am a very often visitor of this site…i got an idea to write and store my memories of today in iss … So that you...
It was just a normal Saturday. I had gotten up early and decided to put in some work on my pet car project, a 1968 Camaro SS. My pride and joy. I was in my shop polishing on a fender when my wife joined me. Candace Richards (Candy to me and our friends) is my gorgeous wife of sixteen years and have known each other for seventeen. She’s five feet, six inches tall about one hundred and thirty pounds I’m guessing at the weight. As most women, she would never admit to her weight. It made no...
My fun todayHi everyone stuck at home due to this damn virus. However, I did manage a little fun this morning. You probably know my husband owns a construction company and that my 41-year-old daughter Michelle has been fucking him since she was 19. I have stories posted about that. My hubby is not doing any construction at this time so as not to risk the lives of his personnel. However, he and my daughter still do maintenance on his construction vehicles. Today they both left home at about 8...
I guess this tale came about because I enjoy walking. Actually, it's a lot more than that; however, one of my favorite forms of exercise is walking ... and most of all, I really enjoy walking about the lake. In the North end of Seattle, there is a lake called Green Lake, which is circled by a trail that's about 2+ miles around and I try to walk it as often as I can. My goal is to walk around it every day, but it seems to turn out more like around 5 times a week. I've been doing this for so...
The next day, it was the same thing. Different t-shirt, but wearing blue jeans and sneakers, walking in the same direction I was going. Still no sight of her face. I saw her every day that week on my way home. I started to expect her, and I finally saw a glimpse of her face in my passenger's side mirror one day as I drove past her. She seemed attractive, but I didn't get a good look. For the next several weeks it was the same. I began to look forward to seeing her. I don't know...
Walking on air By SG [email protected] Christmas had come and passed. The family had been seen; our gifts exchanged. It was good to see the family. I had fun trading stories and catching up. Christmas was good but it could never be exciting. My family, who I love to death, are the text book description of mundane. Mundane was great for the love and support I needed in my life. For the wild and crazy times that you never forget and can never stop telling stories about I had to look...
There are no graphic sex scenes in this story. All constructive comments and criticisms are welcome and appreciated. If you like the story, please let me know. If you didn’t like the story please let me know why. Critiques will help me grow and become a better writer. Thanks for reading my work and ENJOY. My inspiration for this story is the song ‘Toes in the Water’ by the Zac Brown Band. I got my toes in the water, ass in the sandNot a worry in the world, a cold beer in my handLife is good...
Sir I was a good, sexy, little slut for you today.You instructed me to be while you were away at work, and I am so very grateful Sir.I honestly do not know how many times I came today as I looked at your photosand as I enjoyed watching videos of you.Sir as I did this I was with you, your naughty little slutand, Sir, you were with me.On my bed, the morning light shining over my naked body from my bedroom window.(Sir anyone that walked by would have seen me)As I watched you and looked at you, I...
There are no graphic sex scenes in this story. All constructive comments and criticisms are welcome and appreciated. If you like the story; please let me know. If you didn't like the story please let me know why. Critiques will help me grow and become a better writer. Thanks for reading my work and ENJOY. My inspiration for this story is the song "Toes in the Water" by the Zac Brown Band. I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand Life...
Jill had only been gone on her extended vacation for two days and Pat was already missing her. Sure missing the love making they did was a big part of it but she was a nice classy lady who he enjoyed being with. That she was a good lover was a big plus as far as he was concerned. What was a little weird was that he hadn’t been with a woman since his wife passed away which was over six months ago and he didn’t miss making love then as much as he did in just these last two days. There was...
I noticed the new dog walker the minute she came into view. Even from a distance I could see she had a fuller figure, she was not one of the regular dog walkers I would say hello to. As she got closer I could see she was indeed curvy, I also got a look at what she was wearing. Black leather calf length boots, into these were tucked skin tight jeans which certainly flaunted her curvy bottom. Into the jeans was tucked a white severely cut blouse. To me it all said Dominatrix but then I am...