Just take the pills
You've been thinking a lot about how much you think about how you'd like to be a girl, but it seems impossible. You've just finished reading a story about how estrogen can change your body and it made you sweat because it suddenly seemed like a possibility to you, like something a normal human being could do, somehow reading erotic stories about turning your body into a girl's body felt more realistic but somewhere in the back of your mind it felt like actually becoming a girl...