A Swapped Life, Chapters 1 - 3 (Revised) free porn video

A SWAPPED LIFE A young male engineer goes to an engineering conference and gets swapped with a teen unwed mother who did not finish high school. Story discusses how the new woman makes new friends, and copes with motherhood, her new parents and sister, her former boyfriend, and eventually with love and marriage. Story also discusses the struggles of the new man, whose family and educational background did not give him the tools to fit into the world of men, and his eventual redemption. This is my first attempt to write fiction. I have found it much more challenging than I expected. I am grateful for constructive criticism. This is a rewrite of chapters 1 - 3 of the story. I have modified the first part in response to a review. I think I have made it more readable. Characters Brian-->Erin An accomplished young male engineer with some struggles and insecurities. He tries to help a woman being abused by a very large man and is then swapped with that woman. Erin --> Brian A troubled young woman who never finished high school and who is transgendered. In spite of gender issues, she wound up getting involved with a troubled young man and having his baby. She is swapped with Brian. Clara Sister of Brian. She is social worker and is a very accomplished young woman and was her brother's close friend. Jenny Mother of Brian. She is an administrator at a local hospital and was very close to Brian and Clara. Peter Father of Brian. He is a professor of mathematics and was also very close to Brian and Clara. Mary Baby Daughter of Erin. She turns out sweet tempered and loving despite being neglected by the original Erin Mom (Mary) Mother of Erin. She is an office manager for a construction firm. She has some flaws and had a rough relationship with the original Erin, but eventually turns out to play a positive role. Dad Loving father of Erin. He is a construction worker. Fran Sister of Erin. She is a police officer. She and the old Erin hated each other. She makes the new Erin's life miserable at first, but eventually they become friends. Latesha Friend Erin makes in a drug detox program. LaTesha was a very promising student in high school but was pulled into the world of drugs by her boyfriend and winds up spending about a year in youth detention. Debbie Friend Erin makes attending church. She is a high school student and an unwed mother. Her mother has rejected her for engaging in unmarried sex. Ginni Friend Erin makes doing a contracting job. She works for Erin's Mom and wants a career in finance. Jesse Close friend of the old Erin. She also becomes a friend of the new Erin, even though the two Erins are very different. Jesse was the original Erin's partner in many pranks and just barely graduates high school, but she is determined to succeed in life and is attending culinary school and also wants to also establish herself as a photographer. Tony Close friend of the old Brian and an excellent musician. After a failed marriage, he is raising his two sons by himself. He is asked to provide music at Clara's wedding. Index: CHAPTER 1. OCTOBER, BRIAN AND FAMILY CHAPTER 2. EUGENE, THE SWITCH CHAPTER 3. IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SWITCH. CHAPTER 1. OCTOBER, BRIAN AND FAMILY Brian Sanders was visiting his parents for dinner Thursday evening in October, 2016. He came into their home and casually greeted them. His mother came over and gave him a hug and asked how he was. Brian replied, "No complaints, Mom. Work is great. Dad and I are playing golf this Saturday." Just then his sister, Clara, came in and greeted everyone. "Hi Daddy" she said with her usual theatrical flourish, and hugged her father Peter Sanders, and then "Hi Mommy," and hugged her mom, Jenny Sanders. Last she said, "Hi, Bro," and hugged her younger brother. He hugged her back and said, "Hi, Sis. How's things?" That sent her off on a description of what happened at work this week and what several friends were doing. Her mother joined in and the two of them talked quickly back and forth for several minutes." Although Brian had asked the initial question, he was silent beyond that. Brian looked over at his father and shook his head. It was beyond him why every detail of the last week needed to be shared to tell him how things were going. His sister caught his head shake and said, "I saw that Brian. I and Mom just like to talk about our week. It just makes us feel good. OK?" Brian said, "Sure thing, Sis. I guess I'll never understand it though." This was an ongoing topic between them, but one which did not affect their relationship because Brian never said anything destructive. Brian felt lucky to have his family. Both parents were generous and caring, and had always been positive with him, and he and his sister Clara were very close friends. He thought the family was interesting. They could talk about anything. This evening, the family settled into an extended back and forth about local issues in Blakefield and how they affected each other, the type of conversation Brian enjoyed. Brian's mother served a plate of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and string beans, which everyone loved but were also smart enough to not overeat. The family members were physically similar, all smaller than average and slender and active. And they were all determined to control their lifestyles to continue to be active. Clara remembered that her brother had not always been slender. At thirteen his nickname at school had been 'fat boy'. But he had methodically embarked on a program to lose weight. He read up on nutritional contents of foods and modified his diet to only eat limited amounts of low-calorie but nutritious foods, and he kept track to insure he was eating the right amount of the right things. He had also taken up weight lifting and running and although he had not been able to bulk up much, his muscles became stronger and well defined. Her brother's experience had gotten Clara interested in nutrition and health and lead to her selecting Food and Nutrition as a college major. She later took a Master of Social Work and now worked for the City of Blakefield. Clara and Brian's closeness was unusual for siblings of different genders. The two of them had always been willing to share and help each other. Brian had been willing to include Clara in things that he did with his friends if she wanted, and to participate in things Clara was interested in, even some girly pursuits such as fashion. He was even willing to be part of her schemes to attract specific boys in High School. Additionally, Brian was a very mechanically inclined person (Clara was not) and he would help her with her car or any other construction project she had around the house. Finally, Brian never made light of specific women's issues that were important to Clara. In return, she tried to help him do what he really wanted to do, attract a girlfriend who was sweet and smart and attractive. But somehow it had never worked out. The small size and pretty features that were characteristic of the family and that looked so good on Clara did not work well on a boy. He was under 5'5" and weighed about 125 lbs. and had clean features that made him look like a boy scout many years younger than he really was. In addition, he refused to act rough and tough and denigrate other people to be part of the crowd. Clara appreciated his willingness to be generous in his assessments of others, but his refusal to play the games others were playing did not help his acceptance with the in crowd. But Brian didn't care. He refused to act like a jerk to have friends. In all he gave the impression of being an inoffensive, boring Casper Milquetoast type of guy. Add to this the fact that he was a science and math nerd and was painfully shy around people he did not know well, and it was no mystery why he rarely was involved in a romance. But Clara knew that under that Casper Milquetoast persona was a strong-willed, intelligent, hard-working, nice guy who she loved and respected a lot. He had held numerous part-time jobs and had been the class valedictorian in High School. (Unusual because this honor almost always went to a girl.) He also lettered in tennis and golf several years and was elected captain of the golf team, despite being by far the smallest guy on the team. In college, Brian had completed his civil engineering degree in three years with a minor in Math. After college, he had quickly found a job with a consulting firm. This was no Casper Milquetoast. Clara wanted to talk about her wedding next July. Her fianc?e, Bill, got back from Active Duty in Europe in June and they planned on getting married soon thereafter. She wanted to get her family's agreement on some basic plans. She told her mom in detail about what she and Bill had decided on. Her wedding and reception would be at their church. Clara wanted the woman who was pastor of her parents' church to preside and asked her mom if they could go to the church together to make the arrangements, which Jenny readily agreed to. Then Clara asked Brian if he thought that his best friend, Tony, might be willing to provide music. Tony had been Clara's friend too, which was why she thought it would be perfect if he could do the music at her Wedding. But she rarely talked to Tony any more. He had moved to Seattle shortly after high school when he had gotten married. Tony had decided not to go to college, even though he had the grades and even though his parents were well off and could easily afford to send him. He wanted to be a musician and didn't think college would help him. Tony had taken up the guitar in 4th Grade and had influenced Brian to also learn to play an instrument, so Brian took lessons on keyboarding for 5 years. In Jr. High School Tony had started a band and had recruited Brian to keyboard and Clara to sing. Clara was a pretty girl and sang well and had a winning personality. Brian thought privately that she had carried the band the first year. But she really wasn't interested in a musical career and gave it up after that. The songs they were playing dictated that Tony's band needed a female vocalist, and after Clara left, Tony had recruited several more, but none had been as winning as Clara. Despite that, the band had prospered as Tony had gotten his feet underneath him singing male lead, playing the guitar, and writing music. Brian had quit the band after his Junior year. He wanted to be an engineer and needed to work on his math and science. Brian did not think his loss to the band would be all that important. As much as Tony told him how valuable he was, Brian was adamant. He told Tony, "Hey, Tony. I really have enjoyed the hell out of playing in the band. Bit I want to be an engineer. To get into a good school, I need to study like mad. I'm sorry. But you don't really need me. There are far better keyboarders around. Someday, I'll come see you when you play a major venue and your name is in lights." Tony reluctantly accepted Brian's quitting and they remained close friends. After Tony had moved, Brian stayed in touch, talking to him on the phone every week, exchanging emails, and making a point of seeing Tony on his visits home. Seattle had been a mixed bag for Tony. He struggled to find a good day job. But he formed another band. They enjoyed moderate success and Tony's name was often in the third or fourth spot on a music program. Tony's wife had had a son soon after marriage, but she had not taken to motherhood and insisted on finding a day care that would accept the boy at 6 months. Despite that, she had gotten pregnant again and had another son two years after the first. But as soon as the second child was born, she told Tony that that was enough, that she didn't like caring for children and wanted a career. So, Tony had taken a second job on weekends, in order to afford care for two boys and had cared for them himself in the evenings except when his band was practicing or playing. His wife got a good job with Microsoft in administration. She worked long hours and was rarely home in the evening. So, giving two children the care and love they needed was a balancing act for Tony. Over time Tony's wife was home less and less and it became apparent that they had problems. He called his friend Brian almost every night after the boys were asleep and bounced ideas off him. Brian agreed and told him, "Hey, Tony. You guys need counseling, badly." But Tony was unable to persuade his wife to go with him. Six months after Tony's second son was born, his wife told him that she was in love with one of the executives at her work and was having an affair and wanted a divorce, and she wanted Tony to take custody of the boys. Tony decided not to contest the divorce. However, his wife requested four years of college tuition and living expenses as a condition of the divorce. Tony did contest that, not that he begrudged his former wife an education, but he didn't see how he should be obligated to pay for one, especially since she was already making more money at Microsoft than he was as a clerk at a mortgage company. Besides, he didn't remember his wife wanting to go to college at the time they had gotten married. But based on his former wife's testimony with corroborating testimony from a close friend, a judge decided that Tony's wife had given up college plans to marry Tony and he was obligated to provide her half of the opportunity she had given up, i.e., two years tuition and living expenses. To the judge this may have seemed like a reasonable compromise, but it meant that Tony had to continue working two jobs to pay for his wife's tuition plus maintenance, and still take care of his children. Recently Tony had agonized long and hard about moving back home. He loved the music scene in Seattle and recognized that he could get higher paying work there. But the cost of housing was exorbitant, and he did not feel he could take care of his boys properly alone. If he lived at home Tony's parents would help with their grandchildren. But in the end the music scene in Seattle won out, and Tony decided to stay in King County, much to his parents' unhappiness. However, Brian thought he could be induced to come home to play at Clara's wedding. Friendship meant a lot to Tony and being at the wedding of one of his best high school friends would be something he would want to do. However, Tony probably could not do it for free. Brian agreed to contact Tony and try to set it up. Next, Clara asked her mom which relatives she ought to invite and got copy of her mother's address book with the invitees marked. Clara and her mom also talked about how to set up the church for the wedding. The two women did most of the talking, with Peter and Brian just listening carefully and occasionally contributing an idea. Finally, Clara tackled a subject with Brian she was very hesitant to discuss. She started by explaining that the best man would be Bill's best friend in the Air Force and the three ushers would be his brother and two other good friends, so all the male positions were filled. She next said, "Brian, you know that the Maid of Honor is usually the bride's absolute best friend in the entire world?" Suspiciously, he said, "Yeah?" She replied, "Well, I have lots of good friends, but you've always been my best friend." "So," he laughed, "you want me to wear a dress and be the Maid of Honor?" "No, Silly," she responded, "I want you to wear a tux and be "Man of honor or Brother of Honor." She wanted desperately for Brian to be in her wedding somehow and hoped that the inducement of taking the best friend's spot would get him there. However, she also knew that because he was sensitive about being small and slight he would be very hesitant to accept a traditionally female role. Brian thought a long while and finally said, "Sis, I'm really touched that you want me to be there and will do it if you want me too. However, it's OK with me if I'm not in the wedding. Just name me the godfather for your first child. If I am the Man of Honor, be aware that I intend to tell your husband that if he ever hurts you I will rip his heart out." He hoped the compromise he suggested, and the humorous threat would provide a way out of being the "Man of Honor." But, Clara hugged him and said she loved him and wanted him both as Brother of Honor AND godfather for her first child. So There. Pete and Jenny just smiled and shook their heads. They did not know how their kid's close friendship had developed or how it continued to be so strong as the years went by. But they realized how unusual it was and were very pleased that was the way they were. With the wedding taken care of, Brian told his family about an innovative project that his consulting firm had done for a small city a few miles away and said he had submitted a paper about it to Pacific Northwest Clean Water Association to be presented next week at a conference in Eugene. This was quite an achievement for a 22- year-old engineer. Clara asked the title of the paper and Brian replied, "An Innovative Approach to Finding Point Sources of I&I in Months Instead of Years Based on Availability of Low-Cost, Easily- Transportable Flow Meters." "God," Clara said, "that sounds like a real page turner. Be still my beating heart." This lead to a good-natured dispute about whether Engineering papers or Social Work papers had more boring titles. But it was clear that Brian was excited about attending the conference the next week. He had been to conferences as a student but not as a professional engineer presenting his own paper. Near the end of dinner, Brian told his sister and parents "I've met a really attractive girl my age named Andrea Rhemy who works for the Dempsey Sewer District in Blakefield where I did that project. Andrea is also an engineer and we have a lot in common. She loves engineering and math and the same music I do and is fun to talk to and be with. I haven't tried to get a date with her up to now because that would be a conflict of interest since she is involved in managing the engineering project my firm is doing for her city. Now that the project is over a romantic relationship would not be a conflict of interest, so I'm going to ask her out. You have any suggestions? I really want this to work out. Andrea is the most wonderful woman in the world." At this Clara and his parents all rolled their eyes, since Brian falling in love without really knowing the girl well had happened many times before. Clara asked "Well, have you and Andrea spent any 'off' time together while you were working on project?" Brian said, "No, it didn't seem ethical to do that at the time." Clara then asked, "I assume she is not going with anyone now." Brian replied that he hadn't asked her. Clara then said, "God, Brian, you really need to get to know this girl much better before you even think about a long-term relationship. Just call her up talk to her and tell her that you enjoyed her company and ask if she isn't going with anyone, would she like to get together for lunch. That way Andrea can decline gracefully if for any reason she isn't interested without ruining your professional friendship." Brian agreed, "Yeh, that's a sensible approach that will not put anyone in an uncomfortable situation." Secretly, Clara guessed that if Andrea hadn't sought to spend time with Brian during the project, it was unlikely she was interested, but Clara didn't want to say that and rain on Brian's parade. After dinner Clara and Brian went home to their separate apartments and Peter and Jenny worked together cleaning the Kitchen. Their topic of conversation as they cleaned centered on Brian's love life. They were both incredibly frustrated that the girls he was interested in could not see their son's many virtues. They knew he was kind, fun, smart, determined, hard-working, good-looking, and giving, and hoped that soon one of these girls would see how wonderful he was. Brian went home and called Tony, his best friend except maybe for Clara. Tony and he had been schoolmates and friends for as long as Brian could remember. They always intentionally tried to get classes together, and had taken music and debate together for years, and had both been on the school tennis team and golf team. They had even taken acting classes together a couple of summers. When Tony formed a band, Brian and Clara had been part of it. Brian had been the best man at Tony's wedding and acted as a shoulder to cry on when Tony's marriage was falling apart. Brian couldn't for the life of him understand the breakup. Tony was tall, good-looking, hard- working, fun, cheerful, and easy-going, and spoke positively about his wife until the very end of the marriage. He didn't drink or party and was home when he wasn't working and spent lots of time with the kids. Tony answered his phone on the first ring and Brian asked, "Hey, Tony. How're things going?" Tony said, "Not so good. Now SHE has decided she doesn't want to have the boys visit her anymore at all." Brian knew that Tony's former wife had made a habit of not showing up for her court scheduled visit times, using one excuse or another. But this was different. Tony continued, "SHE called to tell me this just before SHE was supposed to pick them up. I had Alonzo all prepped to see her, and he was devastated and cried for a half an hour." Brian asked, "Why would she do that?" Tony, "God, I don't know. She gave me a song and dance about working a lot of hours and going to school and her nerves being shot because of the divorce. I.e., it's my fault. And she said again she didn't really like caring for children and being with me was better for them because I have more time for them." Brian interjected, "Working two jobs and trying to run a band, it doesn't seem you have a lot of extra time." Tony continued, "Yeh. I mean, maybe I didn't give her everything she needed while we were married, and it just didn't work out, and she's upset at me. I can accept that. But the boys are innocent. Alonzo was really down." Brian, "That sounds cold. Not many women are like that. Most women will fight tooth and nail to keep their kids." Tony replied, "Yeah, but she is a very strange person. Maybe she's too busy baying at the moon at night to spend time with her kids." At this both men laughed. Brian knew that this sort of humor was the worst thing Tony would ever say about his former wife. Then Brian changed the subject, "Hey, speaking of relationships, Clara is getting married in July to some guy who's in the Air Force." Tony joked, "Oh, wow, all the good girls are gone." Brian continued, "Anyway, she was hoping you would come to the wedding and supply the tunes." Tony asked, "What's the exact date?" Brian, "July 10th." Tony looked at his calendar and said, "Yeah, I can do that. I'd like to see you two. It's cool you asked. I think I can get a few of my current group down there if you can pay, and I still have contacts in Blakefield to put together a few more. And maybe we can get you to keyboard and Clara to sing some of the old songs." Brian "Well, I wouldn't count on that. I will be in the wedding party and she and I will be way too busy to rehearse a song. Anyway, thanks, Tony. Clara will really be happy." Brian and Tony chatted some more, and then Brian said goodbye and called his sister to say the music was set. He gave her Tony's number in case she needed to follow up, although he agreed to keep coordinating with Tony. Next, Brian spent a couple of hours working on his PowerPoint presentation for the conference. He thought more carefully about what he wanted to get across, and revised his opening slide, and then went through slide by slide, changing a few, and went through what he would say to each one, keeping notes. He ended by revising his conclusions slide and saved the presentation. Then he took out the private phone number of Andrea Rhemy that one of the other women at the city had given him and dialed, but there was no answer. Disappointed, he signed onto a civil engineering website and read some background material that applied to his upcoming presentation. Friday, Brian went to work and spent the day on several projects that other engineers at the firm were managing. Then he came home, had dinner, and read some more background information. In truth, he was very nervous. He was ambitious and in addition to wanting his colleagues to think well of him, he wanted his presentation to be good because in engineering pay and access to the best jobs was strongly tied to performance. In addition, he was increasingly irritated at not being able to contact Andrea. Had he gotten a bad phone number? Saturday, Brian went out and played golf with his father and two of his friends. It was a good time with lots of kidding between the four, chatting with his father, and the fun of just swinging the clubs. He scored an 86, which was OK considering he rarely had time to play these days. After golf he and his dad had dinner and a beer. Then he went home and did more background reading for the presentation. Finally, he packed a suitcase and some printed material he needed to read. Brian had had a good day except that he continued to be unable to reach Andrea. He obviously had a bad number and would have to call the city Monday and try to talk to the woman who had given him Andrea's number and check if it was correct. On Sunday morning Brian got up and took a taxi to the airport. He had a reasonably quiet flight and got off the plane rested and ready to do a final review of his presentation. CHAPTER 2. EUGENE, THE SWITCH Brian landed in Eugene at about 10 AM and grabbed a taxi to the motel. He checked in, unloaded his suitcase and then walked across a busy street to the conference center. The conference registration booth was open, and he got his badge and the conference agenda. But this conference did not give out any carrying case for his papers. In order to minimize luggage Brian had neglected to bring a case. So, he decided to find a store and buy a case. He asked at the front desk and learned that there was a mall with a variety store that would be open Sunday about 1? miles away. He bundled up and walked to the mall in a light rain and bought a plastic case. He also stopped at a Safeway and bought a six-pack of lite beer and some light snacks. "Probably more than I need," he thought. Next, he saw a seafood restaurant in the mall and stopped for a late lunch/early dinner of bread and a salad with lightly breaded salmon strips, and a beer. Finally, he walked back to the motel intending to watch the Seahawks game and spend the rest of the evening doing another review of his presentation. He was on-edge but couldn't figure out quite why. He was apparently more keyed up about the upcoming presentation than he had thought, even though the presentation was not until a full day from now. Not being able to make his phone call to Andrea also contributed to his nerves. The Seahawks game was not going well, so Brian was doubly unhappy when halftime came. He got a beer out of his little refrigerator and sat down and picked up his cell phone and dialed the number he had for Andrea. This time she answered. Brian said, "Hi Andrea. This is Brian Sanders. From Hammerstoll Engineering. Remember, I worked as a contractor to the city on that I&I project that was finished a couple of weeks ago." "Oh, Yeah, Hi," she said. Brian continued, "So I called to tell you I really enjoyed working with you, but we couldn't socialize much because it would be a conflict of interest and I didn't want to put you in a bad position, but now the contract is over, and I wondered if you would like to go out to dinner, maybe a club, just get to know each other. By the way, I'm now in Eugene at the PNWCWA and am presenting a paper on the contract. You've probably heard about it because we had to get sponsor permission to submit the paper. Oh, I should have asked is this an OK time to talk?" Andrea, "Um, actually I didn't hear about the paper. But it was a good piece of work and deserves being written up. Um, Brian, I don't think we should go out. We're not compatible. I hope you understand." Brian gulped, but said, "Sure, I understand. I just thought we had lots to talk about. Say, I hope all goes well with you. Good Night." 'Well,' Brian thought, 'that message couldn't be clearer. Andrea wasn't even slightly interested in spending time with him.' Looking at himself in the mirror, he thought he couldn't blame her. He looked like a 12-year old boy scout, and why would a 23-year-old woman engineer want to be with him. God, he was frustrated. He was so ready for a relationship with a woman his age. Not so much the sex, but the friendship and companionship (and the sex too he admitted). But, apparently, those women were'nt ready for a relationship with him. Brian was now really unhappy and decided to go down to the bar to watch the rest of the Seahawks game with other people. He put on a sweater, grabbed his key card and wallet, walked out the door and turned left toward the elevator. Halfway down the hall beyond the elevator, he saw a woman carrying a baby struggling with a large man. He was shaking her and pushing her around. The man was a big guy, well over 6 feet, and big in proportion, significantly larger than Brian. But Brian couldn't ignore the situation with a woman and baby in danger. He walked down the hall toward the couple and shouted at the man "Hey Buddy, take it easy. That's no way to treat a woman, especially one with a baby." The man was very agitated and said, "Fuck You. This is my baby and my woman, and I'll treat them any way I like. Now get the fuck out of my way." 'Well so much for reasoning with the guy,' he thought. Brian had no illusion that he could handle the man in a fight but thought if he could lure the guy into the elevator waiting area, the woman could get the baby to safety. So, he stood his ground for a moment and then started slowly backing up towards the elevator. His plan worked in that he got into the waiting area before the man caught him. But the woman with the baby slowly walked along with the man, seemingly not worrying about the danger that she had been threatened with just a few moments before. As they backed up, Brian noted that even the woman was good sized, 4 or 5 inches taller than Brian, and very heavy. That made the man 6?. feet tall. 'Damn,' Brian thought, realizing how much trouble he was in. In the elevator area, the man caught up to Brian, and tried to grab him. Brian evaded him several times before being backed into a corner. After that, Brian managed to get a couple of good licks in before the man beat through his defenses and Brian felt himself going down. He woke up a while later with someone pushing smelling salts under his nose. The hotel security guard was there and asked a bunch of questions. Brian found he couldn't remember much about the couple, except that both man and woman were big people. Everything had happened so fast. Then the Security Guard asked if he was missing anything. He checked and found his wallet gone, but fortunately they had missed his cell phone in his front pocket. Brian quickly used his cell phone to put a hold on charges on his credit card. After that, the city police came and took him down to the station house and asked almost the same questions. A couple hours later, the police released him with a promise to call them if he encountered the pair again. Brian caught a cab back to his motel and called his most used card company and asked them to reissue a card with a new number and overnight it to his P.O. Box at home. He also sent an email to his work telling them what had happened and asking if they could reissue his company identity card, with his picture, and overnight it to him at the hotel. He then cleaned himself up, got a cold beer out of the fridge and tried to ice down where his face hurt. He went to bed very discouraged. His thought was that he was such a wimp that he couldn't help anyone, not even himself, and not only a wimp but a fool, not realizing the women would be codependent on the man so his plan to get her free was worthless. He was also concerned that he would have an obvious black eye when he gave his presentation. God what a mess he had made of things. No wonder no woman was interested in him. Finally, at about 1 AM, Brian fell into a troubled sleep. He dreamed of being chased down a hallway and caught and beaten again. He dreamed about attractive girls pointing at him and laughing. Finally, he had a dream where someone asked him, "Child, why are you so unhappy?" He said he was unhappy because he made such a mess of things and was too weak to even help a child. What kind of a man was he anyway? Then the voice said that "Everything you have done today was good. You were generous to Andrea even though she did not want to be with you. And you tried your hardest to help the woman and child escape." "Yes," said Brian, "but just trying isn't enough. To be the kind of person I want to be I need to succeed, to actually make things better. That's the only way I can matter to someone and I want to matter in someone's life. I'm so lonesome." "I see," said the voice. "Well, that will happen. It is just a matter of time. Go to sleep now. You have more challenges coming when you wake up." Brian fell back into a deep but restless sleep. Only to be woken up by someone screaming at him. He opened his eyes to see the big guy who had so easily beaten him a few hours before. The guy screamed at him, "Where's that bottle of perc's we got last night? I can't find them. They were on the counter when we went to sleep. What have you done with them?" Brian did not have a clue what was going on. He must be having another dream. He said, "What pills? What are you talking about?" That response made the guy angrier and he said, "I know you took them, you stupid skank. Give them to me now or you'll be sorry." Brian replied, "What are you taking about? I didn't take anything of yours. How could I do that? How did you get into my room anyway? Get out or I'll call Hotel Security and have them throw you out." In the back of his mind he noted that his voice didn't sound right. Suddenly, as if things weren't chaotic enough, a baby started screaming. Then the guy pulled Brian out of bed as though he were a child and slapped him full on the face. "You're going to call hotel security are you, you fat whore? Well the name on the room invoice is mine, and if you call anyone I'll throw you out in the street. Your mind is totally messed up, so you must have taken another perc. You're not supposed to do that unless I say it's ok. Now show me where the rest are, or I'll kill you, and your goddam kid too." Brian could only reiterate that he didn't know where they were, but the guy stood him up and screamed, "What are you trying to pull, you stupid bitch. Show me where the pills are now. They've got to be here somewhere. You haven't left this room." For the first time Brian looked around him and noticed that he wasn't in his room. The room was like his, so he must be in the same hotel, but in some other room. How could that be? Did he somehow wake up and sleepwalk to another room? He supposed that was possible, as messed up as he had felt when he went to sleep. But why was the guy calling him those names? It didn't make any sense? He said to the man, "Look, I don't know what's going on, but you need to quiet down or there will be noise complaints and hotel security will come down to investigate." The big guy did realize that noise could bring trouble and stopped screaming, although the baby continued crying. Having hotel security show up and accuse him of breaking into this room didn't seem like such a good idea to Brian either. However, when the man grabbed him by the throat and squeezed, Brian decided that maybe having hotel security would be a good thing. Then the guy said, "Show me where they are, or else, you worthless cunt." Somehow Brian managed to hit the guy in the solar plexus and step away before he lost consciousness. But the man recovered quickly and grabbed him again and ripped his clothing off and threw him on his stomach on the ground and threatened to kill him if he didn't lay still. Then he started a full body cavity search and he wasn't gentle about it. Thoroughly frightened now, Brian remained still. But he knew now that something was very wrong. For one thing, the night clothes the man had torn off weren't his. Brian wore his underwear to bed, so he should have had on an undershirt and a tightie-whitey. But what the man had torn off seemed much flimsier. Second, the man was searching cavities where Brian couldn't remember having cavities. And rolling around on the floor, Brian felt fat, like he had gained a lot of weight, giving him cavities all over his body. Then the man grabbed the baby and tore its clothing off, including diapers, and searched it thoroughly. The baby was terrified and started screaming even louder. Brian's heart went out to the child, but he couldn't do anything to help. Finally, the man was satisfied that neither Brian nor the baby had anything hidden on them. He stood Brian up, put the baby in his arms, and pushed him out the door of the room, telling him, "Get the fuck out and don't come back or I'll kill you, and your dam kid too." Brian thought, 'Surely he's not throwing me out naked.' He said, "Wait. Can I get some clothes, and the baby needs diapers?" The last thing the man said was, "I'm going to search everything you have for those pills. I will throw the stuff out in the dumpster in a day or two. Keep an eye out. Now get the hell out while you're still alive, cunt!" Brian saw no alternative and started walking away. But where could he go, butt naked and carrying a crying baby that wasn't his? He leaned against a wall and tried to think things out. While he was doing that, he instinctively comforted the child who slowly quieted down. 'How had he gotten into that room?' Brian asked himself. 'Why had the man spoken to him like he did? Where was the mother of this child, whom he had seen the previous evening? Was she dead? Had the man killed her? He hadn't seen her in the room. No epiphanies came to him, so he decided to try to find his own room. With any luck, he had left the door unlocked when he left. He certainly didn't want to walk down to the lobby naked and ask for a new key card but supposed that would be the only possible next step if he couldn't get into his room. In a daze, he continued down the hallway carrying the child, who now snuggled against him as he walked. Brian was relieved that there was no one in the halls to see him. It must be very late. But if there had been other people there, what would he have done? He had nowhere to hide. If someone saw him, he would just have to continue walking and ignore them. But besides being naked and carrying a naked baby, Brian felt wrong somehow. The hall had a horizontal stripe which he thought had previously been above his head. Now it was almost at eye level. And as he walked he felt heavier on his feet and could feel himself jiggle. Brian hadn't jiggled for years, since he started keeping himself in good shape. He held the infant he was carrying against his chest, which was sensitive and tended to bobble as he moved, leading to sensations he had never felt before. And his gate was different. He felt his hips sway with every step. He saw by the room numbers that he was on the same floor and wing as his own room, 10th floor, wing B, but he was at the end of the wing with odd numbers. All he had to do to find his room was walk down the hall to the even number rooms. Before reaching those he came to an elevator waiting area and decided to stop for a moment to collect himself. He stood in front of the mirror by the elevator, but surprisingly he couldn't see himself there. He looked more closely and saw the baby he was carrying, but Brian wasn't carrying the baby, the women he had tried to help earlier was. Brian's initial thought was, 'Good, she isn't dead.' Then he thought 'Where the hell am I? Without thinking, he reached up and brushed hair out of his eyes, and the woman in the mirror did the same. In shock, he realized that if Brian wasn't in the mirror carrying the baby, and the woman was, the only possible explanation was that he was that woman. Now Brian really felt panicked. He was no longer himself. His physical persona was the ultimate means of claiming his place in the world. If that was gone, even his closest friends and family would not recognize him. Even Clara! He would have difficulty getting access to any of his financial or physical property. His job would not be his any longer. His degree and record of work was gone. He examined his memories and found he still had the knowledge that he had developed at college, but he couldn't get an engineering job without redoing his education because he now had no credentials corresponding to this new body. And apparently, the baby was the woman's. Brian's responsibility now! He suddenly felt overwhelmed. But then he realized this had to be a dream. It couldn't be real. He just needed to remain calm. Brian evaluated him/herself in the mirror. He didn't have anything to compare with to determine her height, but he remembered from the day before that she was a few inches taller than Brian. Her face was sort of pretty, blond with regular features, but with bruises and scrapes here and there. He suspected those were evidence of long-term abuse. Her hair was a mess. There were dark shadows around her eyes. What did that mean? She looked to weigh at least 200 lbs. But even with that she had more of a waist than Brian had had. She had tattoos on both arms from the shoulders to wrists. They might have been flowers, but were not done professionally, and Brian thought they were ugly as sin. Her musculature was undefined. Her breasts appeared to be small, especially for a woman with a baby, but Brian thought they were pretty enough. And between her legs there was no penis or balls, but rather blond hair hiding what he assumed were normal female genitals. He might have reached down and confirmed that, but both hands were occupied carrying the infant. Brian suspected the woman whose body he was occupying had few financial resources of her own, since she had been with such an abusive loser. He momentarily thought how hugely his prospects would change if this was not a dream and the change was permanent. Unless the woman he had become had some college education, which he doubted, he could be stuck in a dead-end job with a baby to care for. Brian considered his/her options, and once again concluded that the only realistic next step was to continue to his room and see what he found. Would he wake up and find it was all a dream? Would another version of Brian be there? Or would the room be empty? If so, he hoped that the door would be unlocked. After seeing him/herself in the mirror, he really did not want to have to go to the lobby and try to convince the clerk he needed a key card to Brian Sander's room. Or would there be someone else in his room, maybe his old body containing the mind of the woman whose body he was now inside? God, this was so weird. Brian walked down to his room, B1038. He put his/her ear against the door but did not hear anything. He tried to open the door, but it was locked. Damn! He tapped on the door and listened. Nothing. Next, he knocked more forcefully and listened. He thought he might have heard something moving in the room but couldn't be sure. He knocked again. Finally, the door opened with the security chain engaged. Someone peaked out the crack and said, "Go away Bitch" and closed the door again. The person sort of sounded like his old self, Brian, but the wording was not something he would ever use. He knocked again, even more forcefully this time, and said, "Please open the door. This is important." The door opened again, and a voice said, "It better be. If my boyfriend wakes up and it's not important, he'll be pissed. No telling what he will do." Brian (now a Girl), said, "I don't think your boyfriend is there. I think you are in a different room. Switch on the light and look around. I think you are the only one there." A few moments later, a panicky voice said, "How did you know that? What's going on?" Brian (the girl) then said, "Open the door and I'll tell you. I have your baby with me. She's OK." The door opened hesitantly. Brian walked in slowly, baby on hip, closed the door behind her/him, and looked at - himself. The Erin Mind in the Brian body looked in amazement at naked body of the woman, Erin, with the naked baby. "Who are you?" said Brian. The Erin mind/Brian body said, "Erin McLoughlin, who are you?" "I'm Brian Sanders," the Brian mind/Erin body replied. From the confused look on the Brian body's face it was clear that she/he didn't realize yet that they occupied each other's bodies. So, the Erin Body said, "I think that somehow our minds have been switched between our bodies." The Brian body said, "That can't happen. That's crazy." The Erin body replied, "Yes, but it seems to be true." The Erin body pulled the Brian body over to the mirror outside the bathroom. "Look. Raise your right hand." The Brian body raised his right hand. The Erin body said, "See, that man raised his hand. That's you." The Brian body shrieked and fainted. "Well, that wasn't very useful." the Brian mind thought, although he supposed he couldn't blame her. The Erin body put the baby on the far bed, covered her for warmth, and tried to pick up the Brian body. It was much harder than he/she anticipated. His current body wasn't as strong as his prior body, even though it appeared to be about 80 pounds heavier and 6" taller. He/she discovered that bodies were hard to lift not just because they were heavy but because they were flexible. The engineering part of his psyche noted that she couldn't grab one part and leverage the whole body up. It had to be a dead lift. The mechanics were very awkward. Finally, he/she managed to drag the Brian body to the nearest bed and roll it up onto the bed and put a cover over it. Then the Erin body crawled into the bed with the baby. She was dead tired from being awakened in the middle of the night and the physical exertion of the last half hour. In addition, she was in a form of shock and tried to put the experiences she had just had into context. But try as she might, she couldn't make any sense of it. Soon she fell to sleep beside the infant. CHAPTER 3. IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SWITCH. After an hour or two, the Brian mind in the Erin body was woken by something poking him/her. He/she looked up. There was a chair between the Erin Body and Brian Body, and the door was open, with the Brian body wide-eyed and ready to bolt out the door if threatened. The Erin body sat up and the Brian mind said, "It's OK, I'm not going to hurt you. You can close the door. Come on, let's talk. We need to decide what to do. I need your help. I think you need mine. Let's work together and try to figure things out. If you run out the door, what are you going to do? Find your boyfriend again? You know he won't have anything to do with you as you are. He'll probably think you are gay and beat the shit out of you, again. We should work together on things that benefit us both. I need some clothes. Maybe I can help you find some work and get back home, wherever that is. Maybe we can figure out how to switch back to our right bodies." Slowly the Brian body came forward and closed the door. Then the baby woke up and started crying. The Erin body/Brian mind said, "Why is she crying? Would you do what needs to be done to make her happy?" The Brian body/Erin mind looked at The Erin body for a moment, and laughed and said, "Hell no. She's not my problem now. She's yours. I can't give her what she needs even if I wanted to, which I don't. She's hungry and needs to nurse. You have tits. I don't anymore. You know how to nurse a baby? No, of course not. Well, it's not so hard. The best thing is to sit in the chair and bring the baby's lips up to one of your boobs. If you want the baby happy, go to it woman. But I'm free. No more child care. No more nursing. No more diapers. At this point to avoid confusion, the author will start referring to the Erin body with the former Brian's mind as Erin, although the personality is basically male. Similarly, the author will refer to the Brian body with the former Erin mind as Brian. Erin hadn't anticipated that she would be the one caring for a baby. She assumed that she would hand child care off to --- someone, maybe the original mother, even if the mother had had her mind switched into a man. But that person now declined to care for the baby, and it fell to Erin. Well the former Brian was not the sort who would ignore the needs of a child. So, Erin said, "OK," and gently picked up the baby and sat in the chair. "Would you help me get into the right position? How do I get the baby to suck?" Brian, "You put the baby's lips next to the teat, and then caress the cheeks like this." But then to Erin's surprise, Brian reached over to the other breast and grabbed it and squeezed it and released. "Just wanted see how that felt. Men always get turned on by grabbing a girl's tits, and now I'm a man. Ha, Ha." Brian then tried to reach down between Erin's legs, but Erin prevented it by crossing her legs. Erin wasn't pleased at being grabbed without permission, but right now she was too concerned about the child to get into a hassle. She sat patiently while the infant nursed. As the minutes went by, she felt a deep closeness to the baby that was almost mystical. "Wow," Erin thought. She had heard that some women felt that closeness, but it was mind-blowing to actually feel it herself. After a while she started feeling cold and asked Brian to put a blanket over the baby and her but was ignored. She asked again, and Brian complied without grace, clearly irritated at the interruption. He had been rummaging around the room, looking at clothes, toiletries, food, and anything he might be of interest. Finally, the baby stopped nursing and started fussing again. Erin asked, "What's wrong now? Can you help with your baby?" Brian laughed and said, "Hell no. She's your problem, ... lady. I never wanted the dam kid in the first place, but my mother pressured me to have her. You probably need to burp her. Put her upright with her head on your shoulder and pat her back." So, Erin did that and after a few moments the baby let out a large burp and quieted down, with her head contentedly on Erin's shoulder. Next Erin asked, "How often a day does the baby need to nurse?" "Six, seven times a day usually," said Brian. 'Geez, this is starting to sound like a lot of work,' thought Erin, then asked. "How about bathing? How often? How? Can I just take her into the bath or shower with me? Are there special soaps and shampoos?" Brian ignored her for a while. Erin was becoming increasingly frustrated at not getting any help or advise on childcare. Brian was totally unaware of the frustration, and just said, "I bathed her when she started to smell. And I just took her in the shower or bath with me. Rex wouldn't help, so I just managed as best I could." Erin, "Who's Rex, Oh, the big goon." Brian, "Rex wasn't a goon. He was good to me. Sometimes." "Yeah?" Erin said. "He certainly wasn't good to me when I first woke up. Anyway, I feel like a shower, and will bath the baby. She does seem to smell. God, what's her name anyway? After the bath, can I hand her out to you? Can you hold her for a few minutes?" "Her name's Mary. I can help a little, I guess," said Brian without enthusiasm. But wouldn't it be better if you got some clothes first?" Erin, "Yeah, how would I do that?" Brian, "I was thinking I could scout out the gift shop. I know your sizes, obviously." Erin, "I guess so. But I don't have credit cards or cash. Your goon robbed me last night, and I canceled the card." Brian, "Yeah, I remember Rex was pissed that you cancelled it so fast. How about I charge any clothes I find on the room?" Erin, "I guess that is the only solution. Then we will see if I can get your old cloths from 'Rex'. Oh, how about seeing if they have any right size baby clothes and diapers? Don't get too much as I will have pay for it eventually. I will try to bathe Mary in the sink. I guess I will use the hotel soap and shampoo and just be careful not to get it in her eyes." At this Brian left the room and walked to the elevator and went downstairs. He had hoped he was done with Mary. But, he felt he had to offer some help for now, since he felt he needed Erin's help. However, he decided that Erin would make it up to him, when the time was right. Down in the gift shop in the lobby, Brian found a grey t-shirt with "Eugene" printed on it in a women's size extra-large for Erin and a pair of pink women's sweat pants that would fit, but no underwear. He also got some socks and athletic shoes. There were paper diapers that would fit the baby. Apparently, this was a "things left behind" sort of item that it was worth the hotel's while to keep in stock. After using Brian's ID to charge this to Brian's room, he went back upstairs. In the meantime, Erin discovered that Mary was absolutely terrified of water. When Erin filled the sink with luke warm water and tried to put Mary into it, the baby shrieked at the top of her lungs. From this and other discussions of care that she'd had with Brian, Erin guessed that either Mary had been abused in a bath, or she had been burnt out of negligence. In his past as Brian, his mother had loved children and often offered to help out relatives by babysitting. She had insisted Brian and Clara help and had even taught them to change diapers. Brian had sort of enjoyed it, although more if the children were a little older. Because of these experiences, Erin was totally disgusted at the thought of such abuse. Erin finally put a towel on the counter and laid Mary on it and lightly scrubbed her with a warm wet washcloth. When Mary did not object, Erin added soap and scrubbed a little harder. Quite a bit of scrubbing was necessary since the baby was very dirty, with feces barely wiped off after previous changes had dried on her skin. To finish up, Erin used another cloth to rinse Mary and a towel to wipe her off. Mary wasn't too sure about the process but seemed to warm up to it with time and was even laughing at the end. Erin laughed too at the delight Mary showed at being warm and clean. The final step was a careful wash of the child's hair, avoiding any soap near the eyes. Then Erin wrapped Mary in a soft bath towel. A few moments later, Brian arrived with the clothes he had purchased. After knowing how badly the previous Erin had cared for the baby, the new Erin did not trust the child to Brian's care and kept Mary in the bathroom while she used the toilet and showered. The baby nodded off on the counter, surrounded and covered by towels. Without thinking, Erin stood in front of the toilet and reached for a penis. Whoops, that wasn't going to work. Then she sat down and took a while to start the flow. She just didn't know how to relax the muscles that controlled it. When she did release, she surprised herself spraying all over. She had to wipe herself off before she stood up. Having never had a mother admonish her to wipe front to back, she just wiped randomly, although she was smart enough to not rub directly from the anus onto the vagina. Then she took a quick shower, although it was harder getting clean than she had anticipated, partly because of the various body cavities and body folds she now had and partly because of her long hair, which she had to soap up twice to get clean, and which she had no clue how to dry. She asked Brian, who seemed to be enjoying her discomfort. He said she should roll it out in towels. To get it even approximately dry took two towels. (Note to self, call guest services to insure the hotel supply clean towels soon.) Then she got down the blow-dryer and dried it as best she could. After that, she put on one of the tightie-whiteys of Brian's. It was a very tight fit, almost splitting down the seam in back when she pulled it around her hips, but it was better than nothing. Then she pulled on the shirt, sweatpants, socks, and athletic shoes Brian had charged to the room. Finally, she was ready to go. Total time to bathe Mary and take a shower and dress; 1? hrs. Good God. Next, Erin sat and talked with Brian who was watching some sort of game show on TV. Brian suggested they try to retrieve the "Erin" suitcase and the baby supplies from Rex's room. Brian had been considering the problem, since it seemed he enjoyed putting things over on people. He said the best chance was for Erin to ask for a duplicate key card (Erin had already lost a key card the day before and was thus known to the clerk), and just sneak into the room. This should be done before Rex had a chance to throw her and Mary's stuff out. It seemed Rex had a vindictive streak and would do that the next time he had the opportunity. Brian told Erin that Rex would be asleep since he was a drug user and was usually strung out until noon. Erin was more than a little concerned about getting caught, but there did not seem to be any alternative. Brian also told Erin exactly where her suitcase and purse and a plastic bag with Mary's stuff should be. Erin suggested that Brian be the one to retrieve the suitcase, but he flatly declined, saying it didn't matter to him whether Erin and Mary have clothes or not. It mattered to Erin, so she should be the one to take the risk. The first step in this plan went smoothly. Erin talked the clerk out of another key without difficulty because the clerk was familiar with her face and had given her a key the day before. Apparently, he thought she was a stupid idiot who lost keys a lot. Then Erin went up to Rex's room and opened the door quietly and looked in. Rex was asleep, just as Brian had predicted. So, Erin went to where Mary's clothes bag should be, saw a few baby items scattered around the bag, put them back in the bag, and slowly picked it up, grabbed the purse on the counter, and set both outside the door. Then she went inside and around the bed and grabbed Erin's suitcase. At that moment she felt Rex's hand on her neck and froze with fear. What could she do? She knew he was strong enough to break her neck without any problem, but hoped he wasn't crazy enough. Rex said, "What are you doing bitch?" Erin, "Please Rex, I have to have some clothes and Mary has to have diapers. I didn't take anything else. Please just be cool." Rex, "I know you didn't because I searched all your stuff and was watching you in the room. If I thought you were stealing from me, I'd kill you. But I'm not, just because I such a good guy. Say I'm a good guy Erin!" Erin thought, 'God, what kind of freaky game was this?' thought Erin. Shaking with terror, she said, "You're a good guy Rex. You're a really good guy. You wouldn't hurt your woman and your baby, would you?" Rex, "No, No I wouldn't. Because she knows how to show she loves me, don't you Erin?" Erin thought about the right response. She didn't know anything about the relationship between Erin and Rex. Maybe asking him the right response would work, "How can I show how I love you Rex? Please tell me how?" Rex, "Glad you asked, Babe. I'm feeling tense now, really horny. And you want to make me feel good, don't you Erin?" Erin, "Yes, but you like a lot of things, Rex. Please tell me what you want?" Rex, "You want to suck my dick don't you. You want to get down on your knees like the whore you are and suck me off and swallow it all?" So, that would be the next step between Rex and Erin. 'God, could she do that?' thought Erin. 'Did she have a choice?' Rex pushed Erin down on her knees in front of him. Hesitantly, feeling terrified, she pulled his underwear down. She didn't know how to do this. She gave some thought to slugging him in the balls and running while he was bent over, and his underwear were halfway down, but his huge hands on either side of her head made her think better of it. So, swallowing her bile, she pulled out his dick carefully and caressed it. When it was hard, she put it in her mouth and wet it with her tongue and sucked it in as far as it would go in her mouth. She was about to try to get it deeper when he grabbed her head and stuffed his penis violently down her throat. She gagged and sputtered and drooled while he laughed and pushed his dick alternately down and up her throat. It only took a few moments before he was coming in her mouth. Then he said, "Swallow it, cunt, or I'll beat your head in." So, she did, trying to suppress her gag reflex. She felt incredibly dirty. Then he pulled her up, pulled her arm behind her and bent her over on the bed, pulled down her sweat pants. He laughed at the tightie- whiteys, and ripped them off, and pushed his cock into her. He pulled her t-shirt up, so he could reach around and hold her breast while he did his thing. She felt him push his cock into her anus. It hurt like hell. Apparently, it wasn't very pleasant for him either, because after a few strokes, he pulled out and pushed into her vagina. That grossed her out, but she couldn't do anything about it. Vaginal sex was a little better, but it was still scratchy and painful and unpleasant. She closed her eyes and tried to block things out, as best she could. He lasted for quite a while before he came. Then they stood together, his cum coursing into her. She felt liquid coming out of her and flowing down her leg. Finally, he pulled out, picked her up and violently pushed her out the door, where she careened across the hallway and into the wall. A moment later he threw her clothes out the door and then pushed her empty suitcase out to her. Then he saw her purse and the baby bag and threw them down the hall. Finally, he laughed and said, "Get the hell out of here, whore, and don't come back again or I'll kill you." She did her best to comply, pulling the t-shirt down and sweat pants up, grabbing clothes and toiletries and stuffing them into the suitcase as quickly as she could, and then grabbing the baby supplies, purse, and suitcase and awkwardly proceeding down the hallway as fast as she could manage. An older couple coming out of the elevator looked shocked at the scene but elected to ignore her. In a few minutes, Erin got to Brian's room, pulled her keycard out, and quickly pulled the suitcase, purse, and baby bag into the room, locked and bolted the door, and fell onto the bed, sobbing, beside Mary. Brian was sitting in the chair in front of the TV. He had not reacted to her coming into the room, but finally asked, "Got Caught?" Erin, "Yeah." Brian, "What happened?" Erin, "He made me do things." Brian, "What things?" Erin, "None of your goddam business." She didn't want to talk about it, especially since she suspected Brian of setting her up. But she did say, "I got everything. The suitcase, purse, clothes, baby stuff. I'm going to take a shower." Erin pulled off the socks and shoes, sweat pants and t-shirt, and threw them into a corner. She got the shower running and stepped into it. She started by filling her mouth with the warm water and spitting it out and repeating again and again. Then she awkwardly positioned herself so the water from the shower went into the crack of her ass and into her vagina, and rinsed herself out as best she could, and then soaped and cleaned as deeply as she could and repeated the entire process. After the shower, she used a toothbrush the motel had provided to brush her teeth and repeated. She felt much cleaner when done Next, she awkwardly covered herself with a towel and went through the suitcase with Brian's reluctant help and he identified what was clean and put the rest, along with what she had already worn to Rex's room into a dirty clothes pile. She asked Brian to recommend what she should wear now and took some clean panties and a bra into the bathroom. She had to scream to Brian for advice on how to put on the bra, but finally managed. Then she put on a long shift and women's stockings and shoes. She looked into the mirror and didn't look like a man in a dress, like she felt. But she realized that she shouldn't, after all this body was a girl. But she didn't look at all attractive. She got the impression that the old Erin hadn't been that concerned with being attractive and guessed the new Erin had inherited that 'look'. The old Brian had never allowed himself to look grubby, as many men did. The new Erin had the same mindset and decided she would like to be a little more attractive, so she asked for Brian's help with makeup, which again he reluctantly gave. When that was done, Erin felt a little better, but still awkward and uncomfortable. Brian had never dressed as a girl, except for a Halloween party years ago, at Clara's behest. It had been a successful costume but had made other boys and girls wonder about Brian's gender and sex. Since he identified as a man, he never again dressed in anything remotely feminine. So, the new Erin briefly considered getting some men's clothing that fit. But would that make her more comfortable? Maybe. But dressing like would probably send some other signals that Erin didn't want to send. Erin needed to be able to talk to people and get them to help her with a whole assortment of problems, which would be harder if she sent out signals that she was troubled or strange. So, a normal appearance for who she was would be better. Later she would worry about how comfortable her clothes were given who she was. In addition, Erin realized that no matter what she wore, she would look like a woman with a baby. So, what's the point of wearing men's clothes? Then Mary woke up and was hungry again. So, Erin had to take off the blouse and bra, nurse Mary, which was not something you could rush, burp her, change diapers, put some baby clothes on her (with a little assistance from Brian), and get redressed herself. Mary was fussy, and Brian refused to spend any time with her, so Erin wound up carrying the baby around and arranging the stuff in the room with one hand. But finally, all three of them were somewhat squared away, although Erin still suspected she looked like a slob. They talked about going down to breakfast. This caused Erin to think about what would happen if they ran into Rex in the hallways. She realized that Rex might have followed her and seen what room she was in. Encountering Rex again was terrifying, so Erin insisted Brian get another room as far away from this one as possible, with the excuse that someone nearby had been making a lot of noise. She would actually prefer another hotel, but without credit cards, that was not possible. Fortunately, the hotel had vacancies in another wing. As Erin had insisted, Brian got two key cards, which cost a little extra, but to Erin was important to be independent. Only after they packed and moved could Erin stop feeling afraid that Rex might burst into their room at any moment and make her repeat the earlier experience. She had built an image of Rex in her mind as a master villain who could and would do anything to make her miserable. In truth, when she thought about it carefully, she realized he was probably just a mean bastard with only average intelligence who did evil things only when some opportunity presented itself. But whether master villain or mediocre jerk, she was determined that Rex would never have an opportunity to hurt her ever again. She had been beaten and raped and felt more vulnerable than any time in her previous life. She wished she could lay down and have an emotional reaction to what he had done to her and imagine 1000s of bad things happening to Rex, but she had too much else to do. She had to figure out how to deal with the switch and survive the next few days. In the meantime, Brian was resenting Erin's focus on trying to undo or manage the switch, as well as her desire to take such meticulous care of Mary. Brian didn't really want to switch back, at least for now. And he wasn't used to looking ahead and trying to avoid problems. And as far as Mary went, he didn't believe that such care was important to a child, and if it was, he thought it still wasn't worth the trouble. And Mary wasn't even Erin's. Well, at least the current Erin hadn't been Erin when Mary was born. But Erin would soon be paid back. What Brian knew, and Erin did not was that she was a drug user and would soon be in withdrawal. Then he would be in control. After changing rooms, they finally got down to the buffet just before it closed. "Erin mentioned that they would probably be eating at the hotel restaurant all week because she had neither cash or a credit card so the only way to pay for food would be to put it on their room. She told Brian, that one exception would be tonight because the conference was putting on an awards dinner. She asked if he wanted to do that instead of the hotel caf?. You can just tell people you didn't get in until today, which is why you weren't around for the Monday workshops. You won't get grilled, but you would have to have some stories about your background. I can help you with that." Brian asked, "Will there be woman I can talk to?" Erin said, "You don't intend to accost any women, and try to grab their bodies like you did mine, do you?" Brian, "No, I only did it to you because your body is mine. I have a right to grab you. I wouldn't do it to any other woman." Erin, "Brian, that is ridiculous. You are not occupying this body, so it is not yours. Just, don't." Brian, "I would like to meet other women. I don't really know how to sling the slang with men. I would just like someone to talk to besides you. I'm not an animal." Erin, "There will be wives of engineers you might talk to, and a few female engineers. But since 85% of engineers are men, finding one unattached female engineer for a romance is unlikely. There will be young guys to shoot the breeze with, so you can practice being one of the guys. But no romance. Even the gays will be in the closet at a meeting like this conference." Brian, "How about you go with me as my wife. That way you can coach me on the fly." Erin, "That actually sounds reasonable. But I should be the engineer, and you my husband who is traveling with me. That way you wouldn't have to know anything about engineering. We would have to take the baby. But I would hold her most of the time since I have to nurse." Brian, "You absolutely would hold her all the time! I'm the man so I don't hold babies. OK, the dinner put on by the conference sounds like fun." By the time they got down to the hotel cafetaria, it was almost lunch time. Brian ordered a beer and a modest but fairly hi-calorie sandwich. Erin had thought about it and decided that if she was to be a she all her life, she would be a healthy, slim she, and ordered a chef's salad with non-fat dressing and a diet soda. While waiting to be served, Erin spent some time interacting with Mary as she had seen her mother interact with babies, playing peak a boo and talking exaggerated baby talk, gently playing tag. Mary seemed happy, giggling and making baby noises. Then Brian said, "Geez, you spend more time with that baby than with me. And she's not even your baby." Erin, "She's such a sweet baby. She is easy to love." Brian, "She wasn't sweet for me." Erin replied, "Brian, baby's need to have interactions. They need to feel they are part of the family and they need to laugh. If they don't, they may never be happy. That is the greatest gift a parent can give their child. Plus, I admit I feel more comfortable being with a baby as a woman, because no one thinks it's unmanly or weird for me to play with her." Then the waitress brought their orders and they attended to lunch. Brian ate heartily, but Erin ate slowly so she could control the amount she ate, as she had learned how to do when she was 13. Mary got bored and fussy, but Erin picked her up and held her with one arm and ate with the other. Mary was happy enough for a while. When Mary started fussing again, Erin asked the waitress if she could get a jello and have it heated in the microwave for less than 5 seconds and bring it out. The she gave Mary a little of it, which she loved. After they had eaten, Brian insisted on a milk shake. Erin was aware that this morning Brian had eaten most of the snacks she had bought on Sunday and drank half the beer, and also well aware that if they switched back she would have to cope with any weight he gained, almost said something. But she decided that conflict over eating habits was not worth it, even if it might cause trouble for her down the line. Instead she said, ?Look Brian, we need to either figure out how to switch back to who we were or we need to decide how to cope with the switch that has happen. But I think anything we do has to be good for both of us. So, we need to talk about what each of us want to achieve and work up a strategy. Let?s spend a couple of hours talking in the room after lunch.? Brian was a little confused. Rex and he (her) didn?t talk about goals and strategy. Only about how to get whatever they wanted at the moment. Now he sensed that he would get to put his wants and needs into the conversation, so he said, ?OK? unenthusiastically. Erin sensed that he rarely showed enthusiasm, perhaps because he (she) never had a lot of influence, so why bother? They stopped by the gift shop on the way up to the room. Erin got a 16-oz. diet coke, while Brian got more snacks, most of which were not healthyl. When they got to their room. Erin changed Mary?s diaper and noting that she was yawning, nursed her again and put her to bed. Mary fussed at being left alone, so Erin picked her up and held her on her shoulder. Mary was soon asleep, and Erin laid her down and covered her. Then asked Brian, ?What was her nap schedule?? Brian was setting in the chair uneasily and didn?t hear the question. Erin repeated it and Brian said, ?What nap schedule? We gave her a nap whenever we could get her to sleep.? Erin, ?But then she was up at odd hours which made it hard for you to sleep. That might be why you were so frustrated. OK, I?ll look for advice on the internet and establish a nap, nursing, and sleep schedule.? Brian, ?Why bother. She?s not even your kid. We could contact human services and get them to take her.? Erin jumped up, eye to eye with Brian, and said, ?Are you out of your fucking mind. No fucking way are we turning that beautiful child over to anyone. You hear. No way. You may not want the responsibility, but I love her and will keep her no matter what.? Brian, ?Geez, calm down Erin. You?re not being reasonable. She?d be much better off with a real family.? Erin, ?I?ll be her family. And I?ll do whatever needs be done so she is happy and grows up to be who she wants to be. You got it. You may not want the responsibility, but I can handle it.? At that point they both paused. Both were amazed by Erin?s outburst. Erin has known Mary for only a few hours. And suddenly she is unwilling to part with her? Somewhat chastened, Erin said, ?Well, if I was totally convinced it was to her benefit to go to a new family, I might go along. But I am not convinced! So, let?s talk about what we need to do about the switch, things we need to do in the near term.? Brian was happy to agree, since he was not equipped to stand up to the sort of emotional barrage he had just been subjected to. Erin then laid back down and said, ?I seem to have done most of the talking so far. Do you want to lead off?? Brian almost looked panicked, ?No, you go ahead.? Erin, ?OK, so, as a statement of the problem, our minds have been switched between our bodies, and we either need to find a way to switch them back, or we need to find a way to adapt to the switch, right? Brian, said, ?Are we sure about that? I mean it could be some sort of hallucination where you think you were once an engineer named Brian but have never been anything but Erin McLoughlin, the girl, partner of Rex, mother of Mary, etc., etc..... And I think I was once a girl named Erin, but actually I have always been an engineer named Brian Sanders. Erin, ?No, that idea doesn?t hold together. For example, do you have a memory of being with Rex and birthing Mary?? Brian, ?Yes.? Erin, ?Well I don?t. And do you have a memory of the Sanders family, of attending engineering school, of or of working at an engineering firm and writing a paper?? Brian, ?No. but that could be part of the psychosis, selective remembering and construction of memories to suit the delusion.? ?OK,? said Erin, ?how about answering this question. If the length of a piece of paper is twice the width, and if the area is 50 square inches, what are the width and length.? Brian, ?I don?t have a clue. What the hell does that have to do with who I am?? Erin, ?That is an elementary algebra problem, which if you were an engineer you would be able to solve easily. Therefore, you are not an engineer. That problem is trivial for me. The the width is 5 and the length is 10. I am an engineer and remember engineering school and can easily do problems like that. You can?t. So, you cannot possibly have been Brian the engineer prior to today, while I can. The conclusion is that I used to be Brian and you used to be Erin. So, we have switched identities.? Brian, ?OK, OK, so what now?? There are two things we could focus on. One is to try to reverse the switch and the other is to adapt to our changed lives. Actually, unless we can reverse the switch quickly, we must put some effort into adapting to our changed lives. So, do you want to put everything into figuring out how to reverse the switch, and only doing as much to adapt to the switch as we must? Or do you want to focus on adapting our lives to who we are now, and put figuring out how to reverse the switch on the back burner. It?s my guess that for us to have a shot at reversing the switch, it would have to be what we both want most. So, the question is, do you really want to switch back. Brian said, ?No. I was transgendered. I have always wanted to be a man. I wound up with Rex because I got something out of it, but I was never happy filling a female role with him. I never wanted to be a mother, so I was not happy. In fact, you seem happier as a mother than I ever felt.? Erin was disappointed. She loved engineering and hated the thought of giving it up. But she didn?t think she had any chance at all of figuring out what caused the switch and undoing it without Brian?s help. But, if she insisted on trying to reverse the switch, she thought she would lose Brian?s help in adapting to their changed circumstances. So, she said, ?OK, we focus on adapting to who we are now. The question is what does that mean? As Brian, what would you most like to do or be?? Once again Brian had not thought about it much and did not have any specifics. So, Erin launched into a list of things she wanted to do while in Eugene. She wanted to structure this week in Eugene so that it did credit to her company, which was after all paying the bill. Specifically, she wanted to find a way to give her talk tomorrow and fulfil that commitment. The problem of course was she was no longer Brian. She had briefly considered asking the current Brian to give the talk for her. But she rejected that idea almost immediately, because he could not be answer the simplest questions. So, she had come up with two ways she might give the talk. First, she could pretend that she was Erin Sanders, female engineer, and that somehow there had been an error in registration. Second, she could pretend to be a last-minute replacement for Brian because of some sort of sickness or death in the family. One advantage to the first option is that she could talk as the project engineer, and she thought that her (his) work on the project had been excellent and wanted to get credit, even if it was the last chance she might have to be an engineer. However, one big disadvantage was that she had no ID as Erin Sanders. But then she actually did not have any ID as Brian Sanders either, because of the robbery, so maybe it was the same problem either way. An advantage to pretending to be a last-minute fill-in is that she could use Erin McLoughlin?s ID. At heart, she hated either option because she hated deceiving people. On the other hand, she knew that telling people that she had undergone an inadvertent mind switch and was now a female was not really a viable option unless she wanted to spend time in a psych ward. Brian on the other hand seemed to enjoy deception for its own sake and had all kinds of advice as to how to carry out either role. Finally, Erin decided that she would claim confusion in registration, since that would also work if they wanted to attend the banquet tonight. Then she asked Brian what he wanted to do and where he wanted to go after the conference. He had no ready answer for what he wanted to do, but said he wanted to go back home where his friends lived, which in fact was the old Erin?s home too, Blakefield, ID. He said he was now free of any responsibilities and could enjoy himself there. Him returning to Blakefield was handy because he could use the old Brian?s return airplane ticket. That would work as long as her employer mailed an identity card to her at the hotel in time. However, that meant they somehow needed to buy another Airline Ticket for Erin McLoughlin to Blakefield, ID. So, Erin emailed her work again and asked if they could also send a $250 advance for food and drinks while in Eugene when they overnighted her ID card. Add that to the cash she had brought with her and left in the room safe and she would be able to afford the ticket. Then Brian dropped his bomb. ?Say Erin, you should know you are addicted to oxycontin?? Erin was dumbstruck for a few moments and then replied in a way that surprised Brian, ?What? How could you be so irresponsible? You were caring for an infant for God?s Sake. Do you know if it goes through mother?s milk? Should I be nursing Mary? What the hell were you thinking?? Brian, ?Whoa there, super mom. Remember I told you I was never into that motherhood crap. I was pressured by my parents. I don?t think infants can get it through nursing. But what it means is that you must take some Oxycontin tonight and tomorrow morning if you want to function tomorrow. Otherwise you won?t be talking at the conference, you?ll be sweating bullets and barfing.? Erin, ?That means you must have taken some last night.? Brian, ?Yeah, every 12 hours or I felt like shit.? Erin, ?Great, Just Great. Where the hell am I going to get oxycontin? Doesn?t it require a prescription?? Brian went to the counter, opened the purse, took out a small plastic tubular thing, pulled it apart, and Erin saw a small blade. Then Brian went over to Erin?s suitcase, opened one of the front pockets, teased open a seam, and pulled out 5 small red pills with a ?60? inscribed on them. These?ll keep you for 2? days starting tonight. I don?t think you need a pill now because I doubled up last night. I couldn?t sleep. So, the 5 pills should get us out of this hole and back to Blakefield with a little to spare. For the second time today, Erin was totally at sea trying to figure out the effect of a huge new piece of information on her future. She couldn?t see any way to not take more oxycontin, at least in the near term. She really wanted to give that presentation. And she didn?t want to try to detox in Eugene, where she had no friends and didn?t know anything about the local services or laws, although she had to admit that as the new Erin she didn?t have friends or contacts in Blakefield either. But even so she would rather be working in a familiar environment. That meant she had to take the pills starting tonight to get back to Blakefield. When she got back, she would need some time to get into a detox program, although she didn?t know how she would do that. As Brian, she could ask her parents and sister for help, and she knew they would give it without question. But she was no longer Brian. She could just throw herself on the mercy of county health services. They would help her detox. But they would almost certainly take Mary away. Somehow Erin was not OK with that. Her happiest moments since last night had been when she nursed Mary and played with her. Additionally, the authorities might even file charges against her for child abuse. She couldn?t say that she would blame them, after all to their minds she was a mother who endangered her baby. At best the authorities would put her out on the street after detox with no support. In the meantime, she was sure her few tenuous connections with her life as Brian would be cut. Her job, car, apartment, and bank account would probably be lost. She doubted that Brian would steadfastly maintain things for her. He probably couldn?t if he tried. Another alarming thought came to her. Would Brian try to scam her company, her friends, even her family? Clearly, she needed to try to do detox on her own terms, but how to do that? At any rate, she needed the 2? days of relative good health those 5 pills would buy her. She had to learn more about Brian. She just didn?t understand him and couldn?t predict what he would do. So, she asked him, ?Those 5 pills, did you steal them from Rex?? Brian, ?Not really, we were supposed to be working together. But he wanted to control everything. So, I tried to have some money and drugs aside, so he couldn?t cut me off. Last night, I got 7 pills out of a full bottle we?d just bought and took two since he hadn?t given me one in the morning. I hid the others where I knew he couldn?t find them. Good thing too, or you would be up a creek without a paddle.? Erin, ?So you will let Erin have the 5 pills, just for old times? sake.? Brian, ?Not exactly. But I don?t want much. After all, you paid for the pills in a manner of speaking. The money in the wallet Rex took from you plus some other money we?d stolen, was enough to get a black-market bottle of Oxycontin. Rex would never miss seven from the bottle. His brain was so fried he could hardly count.? Erin, ?When I woke up in your room, Rex was badgering me about a bottle being missing. I couldn?t come up with a good story, so he searched me and Mary and threw us out into the hallway.? Brian, ?Yeah, the bottle was on the counter in the bathroom, where he had left them. If I had been there, I could have told him that, and everything would have been all right.? Erin, ?So, when I asked how to get the clothes, you saw it as a golden opportunity for me to get the pills for you?? Brian, ?Sure. I mean I didn?t totally mislead you. I thought you had a chance of getting out without being detected. And I didn?t think he would kill you if you were smart enough to do what he wanted. Which you were.? Erin was royally pissed at being set up for the sake of getting those pills back. But this wasn?t the time to fight. She asked, ?What do you want for the pills?? Brian, ?Sex. I mean, I have never had sex as a guy. Duh. I?ve never been a guy. So, I want us to sleep together, the next three nights, two here and one in Blakefield. No big deal. I?m very familiar with your tits and pussy. They?re really mine after all. In return I?ll treat you right, like I?m your husband. I?ll even hold the baby a little.? Erin, ?How about birth control?? Brian, ?Not to worry. I was told at the hospital that because I was nursing, ovulation is suppressed. I haven?t had a period since Mary was born. No chance of pregnancy. That was one of the reasons I kept Mary around. And it?s not as though you can be physically repelled by me. After all, I?m you.? Erin thought to herself, ?It?s not your physical characteristics I am repelled at, it?s your personality, you manipulative lying bastard.? But Erin said, ?So I would have to be a whore with those 5 oxycontin pills as payment?? The thought almost gagged her. Brian, ?Hey, all woman trade sex for favors. That?s the way the world is. Get used to it, Babe.? Erin, ?That?s not true. Lots of couples are equal in the marriage, including my mother and father. And I never saw my sister have sex with anyone.? Brian, ?God, how na?ve you are. I bet a lot went on that you didn?t know about. Well, live in your fantasy world if you want. But you must deal with the reality you?re facing here. So, what?s it going to be, painful withdrawal starting tonight with no chance of doing your engineering presentation and little chance of going back to Blakefield, or a loving relationship with yours truly? You need to make up your mind. If the answer is no, you can take Mary and leave. I won?t stop you. But I won?t want you here. My name is on the motel invoice, so I decide who stays.? ?God,? though Erin, ?What a choice. But she didn?t see an option to giving him what he asked.? ?OK,? she said. ?We sleep together for three days.? In her heart, she knew he wouldn?t necessarily follow through on any of the conditions of the deal, so she would have to be vigilant and fight for a fair deal. And she hated that their relationship was based on deception and distrust, like Erin?s relationship with Rex had been, and like she suspected most addicts? relationships were. She was determined that somehow, she would find a way out of this. But knew it could not be right away. ?OK,? Brian said. ?It?s a good time for a roll in the hay right now. The baby is asleep, and we?ve got a few hours until dinner.? Erin, ?I thought you said tonight.? Brian, ?I?m horny now. Take off your clothes, get in bed, and spread those legs.? Erin did as he demanded, and then he was on top of her, kissing her and feeling her breasts and ass, sliding his finger into her vagina, caressing what she thought was her clitoris. He was gentle and was careful to support himself on his lower arms and knees, for which Erin was grateful. But she did not really get a huge sexual turn-on, probably because there was too much confusion in her mind as to who and what she was and because she resented being manipulated into sex. It was incredibly odd, seeing and feeling hands that had been hers only a day ago caress a body that she felt was ?her? but with which she was not very familiar. However, some of the sensations were sort of sensuous and pleasurable. ?Well,? Erin thought, ?Anyway, this is far better than Rex?s brutal rape.? Then Brian went to enter her. Erin could feel his hard cock against her legs, so she reached down and caressed it. She licked her fingers and put them in her vagina to insure it had enough lubrication, but found it was already moist. Then she held Brian?s penis again as gently as she could and moved herself around and guided it into her vagina. She could hear a grunt of pleasure and Brian started sliding in and out of her. After a few minutes, she felt him cum inside her. Then he said, ?That was great Babe.? After a few minutes, he was asleep with her trapped beneath him. She felt the cum start to leak out, so she delicately slithered from beneath him and went to the shower and cleaned up as best she could. She felt dirty and used, but at least she hadn?t been hurt. By the time she finished her third shower of the day, Brian and Mary were both stirring. When Brian got up and started a shower, Erin took everything of interest out of Brian?s suitcase and put it in the hotel safe with the cash she had saved in the previous hotel room?s safe as Brian. She chewed up and swallowed the paper with the combination after memorizing the code for the safe. Then Erin nursed Mary, changed her, and spent a little time interacting with her, playing peak a boo and play talking. It was subtle, but she was sure she saw the baby imitating her. How interesting. Mary really was a sweet child. Erin guessed she had not been badly abused, only neglected. Then Erin gathered up all her and Mary and Brian?s dirty clothes and put them in the bag the hotel supplied for laundry and called the lobby to find out how to get it cleaned. Then she wrote the room number on it, picked up Mary, took her and the bag to a doorway in the lobby, and deposited the bag in a laundry cart. Supposedly it would be delivered, clean, to their room in the morning, for a significant fee. But she really felt they needed clean clothes. Then she went back to the room. Brian greeted her with ?Where have you been?? Erin, ?I took our dirty clothes to the laundry. I and Mary had almost no clean clothes. You had enough, but I took Brian?s dirty clothes down anyway, so you will have more clean clothes to choose from.? Brian, ?OK, but next time tell me.? Erin, ?OK,? knowing she didn?t mean it. Just part of their deceitful relationship. Then she said, ?Do you want to go to that convention dinner we talked about?? She fully expected Brian to say no and eat dinner in the hotel restaurant again. But he said, ?Sure, let?s do it?? So, she got out the clothes she would have worn as Brian, a pair of slacks and a patterned dress shirt and handed them to him, along with a pair of dress shoes and a sport coat. Brian said that he would prefer jeans, but Erin said that since this was a formal reception, a spouse would likely wear something a little nicer. Fortunately, Brian saw the wisdom of fitting in and went along with this. For her part, Erin decided she had to look the part of a female engineer, so she knew she needed to wear a somewhat nice dress. Erin hunted through ?her? clean clothing and found a dress that looked sort of dressy without being slutty and some matching shoes, which unfortunately were not flats, but rather 2-inch heels. They were some nicer 4-inch heels, but Erin wasn?t sure she could handle them. She walked back and forth and found that if she moved slowly and took short steps, she could cope. She also found some long stockings and got Brian to help her put them on. Erin thought about jewelry, but Brian said she never wore it or perfume. She didn?t even have pierced ears. So, she only needed to comb her hair to be ready, which was not too difficult since it was short for a woman?s hair. Then, Erin checked if Mary needed to be changed and dressed her in the best baby outfit she had. It had been 45 minutes between deciding to get ready and being ready. And Erin knew she had skipped a lot of steps most women would have taken. Her respect for mothers of babies was constantly increasing. What a job. Then Erin grabbed the convention name badge, and crossed out ?Brian? and wrote in ?Erin?, and they went down to the lobby and walked across the street to the Convention Center. They arrived during the social hour. Erin signed them in, took her preprinted name badge and crossed out the ?Brian? and wrote in ?Erin.? Then she made a badge for Brian and stuck it neatly on his right pocket and made a badge for Mary that said, ?Hi, my name is Mary. I am 2 months old.? Erin smiled at it and thought it was cute, although Brian sort of scowled. They went into the room for the free social hour, and she handed Brian the ticket for her free drink. Since they had no cash, this meant that she would be limited to non-alcoholic drinks, which was fine considering she was caring for an infant. So, she asked for a Diet Coke or Pepsi, whatever. There were lots of snacks laid out, fruit, crackers and cheese, nuts, pot stickers, some cooked meatballs and demitasse. She asked Brian to stay with her and help her get some snacks, which he was willing to do since he clearly felt out of his depth. They put their drink at a vacant spot, telling someone that they would be back in a moment. Then they each picked up a plate and Erin held Mary in her right arm, her purse in her right hand, and the plate on her left. They went along the food serving aisle and Brian picked up a few things that she asked him for and put them on her plate. He really loaded up his own plate. She told him that they would be having a full dinner after the social hour so not to overdo it. Of course, he ignored her. They finally got back to where they had left their glasses and she had a chance to nibble at the food. At this point she wished she had not worried about the snacks and drinks because the process was so much more involved than if she had been Brian and had been alone. So, she just left her food and got up and told Brian she wanted to look at the engineering exhibits that were on display. Brian protested, but she said he did not have to come with her. She picked up Mary again, got her purse, and walked over to where the engineering venders were showing their wares. She saw some interesting equipment. Most of the male vender representatives seemed to want to avoid talking to her, perhaps worried about interacting with her child. So, she focused on the female reps. She talked at length to several of the female vender representatives, all of whom thought that Mary was adorable. She said a little about her work and presentation to several of the women representatives and explained the error in registration that she had corrected on the name plate to a few. Nobody was surprised at an error in registration. One of the female reps said she was very brave and perhaps smart to bring her daughter, it was a way to avoid being hit on by the male engineers. Was this why most female engineers seemed to network mainly among themselves? Then they announced that dinner would be served in 15 minutes. She hunted up Brian, who had eaten her food and was working on a new drink and seemed to be slurring his words a little. She said they should line up to get into the dinner. They didn?t have her on the list as ?accompanied, so she said they had totally messed up her registration. She swore she had signed up to bring her husband. The waiter talked to a supervisor, who sensibly enough decided the issue was too much trouble to worry about and just waved her and Brian in. She insisted on choosing a table with a couple of woman at it. She was a little afraid of being totally ignored otherwise. Brian and she sat down with her holding Mary. Brian immediately got a roll and butter and scarfed them down, repeated by another. Then they bought around the wine and filled the wine glasses. Brian drank his glass and hers and then grabbed the wine glass at the unoccupied space at the table. Erin said, ?Really Brian. Remember we have to walk back.? Then the speaker at the front of the room started welcoming people, briefly talked about the work the organization had done the previous year and introduced several distinguished guests. Then he told them to enjoy dinner. Later they would elect new officers and tell everyone about opportunities for involvement. After a short wait, the waiters brought dinner. Erin enjoyed talking to the women, who were both spouses of members, and told them briefly about her education and the work she would be presenting tomorrow. They in turn told her about experiences they had had as wives of engineers. Erin managed to get a few bites to eat before Mary started getting agitated and clearly needed to nurse. She pulled down her bra and allowed Mary to nurse, while she was occasionally able to grab a bite here and there. One of the male engineers at the table said something about being grossed out, but his wife laughed and said she was grossed out by his eating habits. Finally, Mary was done, and then her diaper was wet. Erin excused herself to go to the lady?s room. For a moment, she panicked when she looked around and didn?t see any urinals, thinking she was in the wrong room. She had to admit the lady?s room was cleaner and had more amenities than the men?s, for which she was grateful. She laid Mary down on a bench, got out a paper diaper she had put in her purse, and changed her. When she got back to the table she found they had picked up the dinner plates and served dessert, but that no one had asked to save her dinner plate or requested a desert for her. She was a little irritated and started to take Brian to task, but she found he was irritated at her for ?embarrassing? him by nursing Mary at the dinner. Plus, he was starting to get extremely drunk. So, she thought it best to just not to talk to him. Then the final speakers of the night started. They announced the actions of committees, including the committees for young engineers and women engineers. She so wanted to be involved in both committees, but knew it was not to be. So, she excused herself, got Brian up, and lead her little ?Family? back to the hotel. She had a thought, what if Rex saw them and came after them. That could be a disaster both for her and for Brian. But Rex did not appear, and she guessed the odds of running into him in the two days left before their departure were small. Nevertheless, she remained nervous. She supposed that the dinner had been a success because she had gotten to talk engineering with the female vender reps and had enjoyed her talks with the women at the table, but what an effort it had been. If she had gone as Brian, she would have simply walked in, gotten a beer and some snacks she could carry around, chatted with as many of the vender reps as possible, gone to dinner and sat anywhere he wanted, and left exactly when he pleased. And the engineer Brian would not have had difficulty finding time to eat. But Erin had gotten only a couple of bites through the evening and she was starved. She looked around thinking there had to be something to eat from her or Brians visits to the snack shops. But there wasn?t even a beer. Had Brian really drank 9 beers? That wasn?t possible. They must be hidden around here. Finally, Erin scrounged a year-old energy bar from deep in Brian?s suitcase. A half hour later, after cleaning up Mary, allowing her to nurse, and getting her ready for bed, Erin felt like she was getting the flu. And she kept feeling worse. At first, she didn?t know what was going on, but she mentioned it to Brian during a commercial. He said, ?It?s probably the start of withdrawal symptoms. I?ll give you something for it after we have sex again.? Erin looked at him angriy. She said, ?Brian, you are drunk. I doubt you could have sex again right now. And that is not the bargain anyway. You said sex each day, not whenever you felt like it. And I feel so awful that I wouldn?t be able to enjoy sex.? He laughed and said, ?Well, sex each day doesn?t mean sex once a day. And you don?t have to enjoy it, you just have to open your legs.? Erin felt like throttling him. But she grabbed his arms and forced him to look at her and said, ?I?ve done everything for you I can. I?ve kept my part of the bargain and treated you well and tried to make you happy. Now it is time for you to keep your part and give me the perc?s.? Brian sort of gulped and gave her one of the perc?s but refused to give her all five as she wanted. While he watched her, she put the perk in her mouth. But she secretly bit it in half and only swallowed half, later spitting the other half into her hand for later use. She hoped that taking just half the perc would stave off withdrawal until morning. Plus, reducing the drugs in her system might protect Mary from any effects. Then Erin spent a half hour cleaning herself up and getting ready for bed. She had a sneaking feeling that there were additional things that she should be doing to maintain the role of woman and mother, but she didn?t know what they were and didn?t care at this point. Finally, she put on a nighty, crawled into bed with a passed-out Brian, and went to sleep. Halfway through the night, Brian woke up and had sex with her. Between her fatigue and the drug, she was so tired she was hardly aware. God, what a day. Sometime during the night, she dreamt of an angel who called her child and told her she was so good to take care of Mary and that she needed to be brave and someday all would be well. Mary woke up early and wanted to nurse. So, Erin lay down with her on the other bed, again feeling that intense closeness that she felt the day before. Then she got up, picked up Mary and burped her and went into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet with Mary and did her business. When done, Erin undressed Mary, gave her another sponge bath, put on new diapers and a new outfit, the last clean outfit. She hoped the laundry would be done today as promised. Brian was still asleep. So, she went down to the breakfast buffet and had some coffee. While she was doing that, she talked to Mary and tried to play. Mary loved it. After an hour she went back to the room. Brian was still asleep. She woke him and insisted he give her another perc. She wanted to take it early, so she would not be affected by the drug during her presentation. Again, she secretly bit it in half and saved half for later use. Only taking half the pill, she might feel some withdrawal symptoms later in the day after she gave her presentation, but that was an acceptable risk. While Brian showered, she picked up the room. When he got out, she noticed his face was showing stubble. She asked if he wanted her to show him how to shave his face, but he said he had decided he wanted to grow a beard. Then he dressed while she spent a little time playing with Mary. Finally, they went down to the breakfast buffet. Erin knew from her time when losing weight at age 13 how deadly buffets were and how to cope with them. She took a plate, got just a few things for which she pretty well knew the calorie count, cereal, yogurt, milk, fruit, a plain roll, and coffee, and sat well away from the food and did not return for seconds. Brian was not so disciplined, and she guessed he went back 4 times. If they switched back, she thought she would definitely have weight to loose. But she was not going to worry about that; there were other issues looming. Brian was trying to be nice and kept bringing her things to try. At first, she tried to taste what Brian brought to her, but finally said she just couldn?t eat any more. He said that was nuts. He used to eat much more than that. Finally, Erin asked Brian to please just respect her wishes. She wanted to tell him that his eating habits had resulted in Erin being fat and now the current Erin was trying to lose weight, so she could be feel better and be more active. But that would go over like a lead balloon. Erin did not know why Brian ate badly. She suspected it was in reaction to personal feelings and problems that the current Erin knew nothing about. But the current Erin wanted something different. At breakfast, she told Brian ?My presentation is at 2. I?d like to go over the slides one more time this morning. Could you watch Mary?? Brian, ?No, I don?t think so.? Erin, ?Jeez Brian, you said you would help. And you don?t really have anything planned that you?ve told me about.? Brian, ?I had a rough day yesterday just like you did. I need some downtime, so I would just rather not.? ?OK,? she said, ?how about during the presentation at 2. Could you watch Mary then?? Brian, ?No, I?m going to make some calls.? ?What calls,? she said, ?who did you know before that would recognize your voice now?? ?I want to make some business calls.? he said. By the end of the conversation, she was totally pissed off again. She thought about Dolly Parton?s song line, ?All taking and no giving.? That?s what was going on here. Despite that, she still felt she needed Brian to get back to Blakefield and adapt to the switch that both had undergone. And she definitely felt she needed him to stave off withdrawal. So, she steeled herself and went along with him back to the room without further arguing. Brian flipped on the TV loudly and started going through the channels. Erin laid Mary on the bed temporarily and got out her (Brian?s) old laptop and brought up the presentation. She picked up Mary, who at that point decided she wanted to nurse. So, Erin bared her breast. After that she burped Mary, and laid her down beside her and tried to review the presentation. In spite of the noise, Mary went to sleep for a while. When Mary woke up, Erin had to clean her up after a bm. But Erin finally felt put together enough review time to feel prepared. She had changed a few words and added a couple of lines, so she wrote the presentation into a PDF file, and copied the file onto her thumb drive. Then she checked that Mary was dry, dressed her in her best clothes, and changed into the dress and shoes she had worn the night before. She was so angry with the lack of cooperation from Brian that she decided to go over and have lunch at the conference. Normally she wouldn?t do this, because it was much easier to care for Mary in the hotel room, and because she didn?t want to be disruptive. But she didn?t think she could stand any more morning game shows, and she was worried that Brian might suddenly want to have sex. She told Brian that she was leaving early to make sure she got her revised presentation into the proceedings, made sure she had a couple of paper diapers, her phone, her thumb drive, and her badge, picked up Mary, and headed over to the conference. Erin got there early for lunch and ran into one of the female vender reps she had talked to the night before. She greeted Erin warmly and acknowledged Mary, fusing over her and speaking baby talk for a moment. Erin was so happy to be welcomed that she almost cried. She was so tired of being ignored and having her child ignored. Then the conference lunch was served, and the women asked if Erin wanted to sit with her and some friends. They spent the lunch chatting about things in common, engineering, children, the conference. Everyone agreed Erin was incredibly brave to bring her child. Erin said she hadn?t had a choice. Her husband had declined to watch her, despite promises to help. They were sympathetic, and several of them told similar stories from when their children were younger. One women, who had been at the dinner the night before, noted that Brian had not been all that supportive then, and that he seemed to be doing a lot of drinking. Erin agreed, but made the excuse that his work schedule that month had been very intense. Erin was amazed to find herself identifying with these women and not with the hard driving male engineers that she formerly associated with. But her strongest felt recent experiences were shared with these women. She wondered if this shift in identification would continue and whether it would spread beyond a shared frustration with many men?s? lack of participation in child raising. After Lunch, she went to Room H where she would give her presentation. Her?s was the second of four presentations in a session on I&I reduction. She talked to the moderator and got instructions on how to put in her thumb drive. Then she went to the women?s room and nursed Mary. Afterward she checked Mary?s diaper and had to change her. Finally, she headed out to Room H to give her presentation. Erin was confident as she began her presentation, even though she was carrying Mary in one arm, a most unusual arrangement. Brian had planned and executed the project carefully and researched all contributing factors thoroughly. He had meticulously planned and practiced his talk and really knew what he was talking about. Erin had all this preparation in her memory. Furthermore, she seemed more animated in speaking than she had been as Brian. Her final slide ended to more than polite applause. She fielded several questions well and had a slew of facts she brought up to illustrate her points. Brian had had a great memory for documents and references and Erin was able quote several to enhance her conclusions. At the end, it was clear to most listeners that she had made a substantial contribution and that her conclusions were solid. With this done, she took a deep breath and sat down to listen to the two remaining presentations. Both were good. The last guy was far older than most attendees, walked with a cane and looked like somebody?s grandfather. However, when he started talking it was clear that he was sharp as a tack. Erin thought, ?Wow, don?t judge a book, I guess.? His presentation was related to hers, and at the end she asked a question that he acknowledged had not been addressed and then outlined some work that needed to be done. It was just the kind of honest, civilized discussion that Brian formerly and Erin now both loved. At the break between sessions, Erin talked to the older gentleman, who complimented her on her presentation and said he was glad to see clear thinkers such as herself entering the field. He also said the baby seemed to be really good-natured. She would appreciate that in the future, as behavior tended to be consistent over time. Erin enjoyed the compliment and wished him well. All in all, Erin was very pleased at the presentation, but a little subdued because she realized it might be the last thing she ever did as an engineer. Then Mary started giving signals that she needed attention and Erin decided to go back to the hotel room. But first she took the opportunity to check her email on her phone in private. She had an email from her office saying that the new ID card and the $250 cash should be delivered to the hotel tomorrow morning. Now Erin had to figure out how to get Brian to pick it up without appropriating the cash money. Ugh. Erin felt she was increasingly losing control of the life she had built as Brian prior to the switch and saw no good way to get it back. She sent a return email thanking her company for the shipment and telling them the presentation had gone well. The company logo that she had placed on the first slide of her presentation had been done proud. When she arrived back at the room at about 4:30, she found that the laundry had been delivered, so she organized it including Brian?s. Brian was still watching TV but also trying to use her tablet and had a few questions for her. She wished now she had put a password on the tablet. But she supposed that as much as she felt she still needed him, that would not have been helpful. It was a potentially productive thing for him to learn, so she put aside negative thoughts. She showed him how to get a browser up and how to search for information. Then she told him that she and Mary were going to lay on the bed and have a nap. At that, he suggested that she put Mary on her own bed and that the two adults take a nap together, code for sex. OK, that is what she had agreed to in exchange for pills and help, the latter of which she had seen little. So, she put Mary down on the far bed and got her to sleep. Then she took off all her clothes, so they would not get dirty, and crawled into bed. Brian was close behind and told her he was sorry they had missed sex the night before. She told him he hadn?t, he just didn?t remember it. Brian was much more attentive and considerate today than yesterday. Apparently, he had been thinking about it a lot during the day. Erin enjoyed the cuddling and foreplay, but Brian climaxed before she could get too far along. Then he went to sleep like the day before. She couldn?t blame him for going to sleep, knowing from experience that males usually reacted to a climax by being tired. However, she would have liked him to take measures to last long enough to please her. But she again had to admit he was a step above a barbarian like Rex. Brian had tried to please her and might learn to do so in time. That was some progress, but she still considered Brian a Machiavellian deluder, slightly better than a manipulative liar. Another thought came to her; Brian was trying to take a responsible male role in their lovemaking. And she was taking a female role and enjoying it, at least a little. This implied Brian?s gender preferences was male as he had said? But what did it imply about Erin. Because she was tired she soon forgot these frustrations and thoughts and drifted off to sleep herself. At 6:30, Mary woke up and wanted attention. Erin got up, turned a light on in the room draped a blanket about her and Mary and nursed her. Soon Brian was awake too, so Erin felt free to talk with Mary as she nursed, telling her what a good girl she was and how she had made mommy happy by being good at the conference and cooing and smiling and making faces that Mary could see. Mary appeared happy, but Brian just rolled his eyes and said, ?Jeez Erin. She can?t understand a word you say. Why bother?? Erin, ?She may not understand the words, but she understands I am happy with her. Look at her. Can?t you see she is happy? Her being happy will help us be happy. Besides, talking with her makes me happy.? Brian, ?I suppose. Can?t hurt. But is your mind a guy?s or a girl?s. What you said makes sense for a girl, but not for a guy.? Erin, ?Not true. Love and fulfilment can?t be categorized so simply. When I was Brian, I liked kids. Brian couldn?t be around them so easily as Erin can for fear he would be thought a pervert, but he spent structured time with kids in the scouts and babysitting cousins.? Then she added, ?By the way, thank you for being a considerate lover this afternoon. I appreciate it.? That got a smile from Brian, ?My Pleasure.? Then Erin got up, changed Mary?s diaper and dressed her, cleaned herself up and put some jeans and a t-shirt on, and announced she was ready to go to dinner if he wanted. So down they trundled to the hotel restaurant again. She had a chef salad with non-fat dressing again, and he had meatloaf. She ordered a light beer and he ordered wine. She asked if he would go for a walk with her and he reluctantly agreed. So, they walked down the street the motel was facing for about ? mile and returned on the other side of the street. As they were getting back, the street life took a definite turn downwards and she started becoming concerned for their safety. Then she started thinking how exposed they were if Rex were to see them. So, she was glad to get back to the hotel room. By that time, it was almost 11. She got Mary and herself ready for bed and put Mary down. Then she asked Brian for another perc. She was surprised that he didn?t hassle her this time. Again, she bit the pill in half and saved half for another day. Finally, she pulled out a book (on mathematics) but the drugs wouldn?t allow her to concentrate. She went to sleep quickly. Again, she felt Brian pull her nightgown up and have sex with her sometime in the middle of the night. She had no dreams. When she got up, Brian was gone. That scared her because she needed him to supply a perc, and she needed him later to pick up the package from her company, so she could buy a ticket home. While she was waiting, she nursed the baby, gave her a sponge bath, put on a new diaper, and dressed her in a set of the clothing she had gotten cleaned yesterday. Next, she took a shower, washed her hair, dried it, and put on the jeans outfit she had worn last night. She looked at herself in the mirror and thought she looked scruffy. She had been on reduced drug levels for a day and a half, now so she felt like she was starting withdrawal even though it was early in the day. So, for once she was anxious until Brian came back. When he came in, she asked asked for a perc, and he said that she shouldn?t need one now, maybe in a few hours. Then she said she wasn?t feeling well. Could she just have the perc now? She would make it worth his while. (She gagged at having to do that.) He finally said OK and got it for her. Once again, she only took half the pill and saved the other half. Feeling better, she said she needed to eat. Did he want to come with? He did. So, she checked Mary, found she didn?t need a diaper change, and headed down for breakfast. It was 9 AM. Check out time for conference attendees was 1 PM. Maybe she could go see a couple of more presentations before they left. She ate her usual spare breakfast. For once, Brian ate almost as little. He said he had eaten earlier, after all breakfast was free. She filled him in on what they should do today, including picking up the package from her work. She decided that the best thing to do was to just tell him about the cash in the package and lay out what would happen if he attempted to appropriate it. ?Brian,? she said, ?In addition to the ID you need to get back to Blakefield, I asked them to send me a $250 cash advance on my pay to cover my ticket home. That is in the package. Without it I don?t get home. If you try to travel home without me, you have nowhere to go when you get to the Airport. None of your previous friends will know you. If you decide to stay here the room reservation expires at 1 PM and you are out on the street. $250 won?t go far, and you will have no contacts to ask for help. However, if you give me the $250, I buy my ticket and we travel together and in Blakefield, we will take a taxi to my apartment, where we can sleep and make plans. So please don?t try to steal that cash. It is vital to us. Just give it to me and things will be much better. OK?? Brian looked at her and nodded. After breakfast, they went to the front desk and asked about the package. The clerk got it, looked at a picture that had been sent with the package and compared it with Brian, and handed it to him. Then Brian opened it, took out the ID, and reluctantly handed the $250 to Erin, who had been holding her breath. That was a big hurdle over. They went up to the room. Erin nursed Mary and changed her diaper. By this time, it was 10:30. She mentioned the idea of catching a few presentations. Brian said he had hoped to have sex in the room one more time. Given his concession on the cash, and her earlier promise when she needed the oxycontin, she didn?t think she should decline, so she put Mary down, took off her clothes, and got into bed. Brian used the bathroom and was in bed with her soon thereafter. He leaned close to her and kissed her passionately and held her close. She returned his embrace, glad again that he was going slow and seemed concerned about her. They kissed and held each other for almost 15 minutes, before he started caressing her intimately. She returned the caress and he held her close and felt her ass and between her legs and finally her vagina. Then he put his finger up inside her and caressed her in a way that got her incredibly aroused. Finally, he held her and kissed her and moved his penis close to her vagina, and she reached down and guided it into her. He started going in and out gently, which was pleasant but not greatly arousing. She rolled him on his back and climbed on top of him and guided his penis into her vagina again. He moved up and down and caressed her breasts for a while, and then let them sway back and forth as he made love to her. Finally, she came for the first time as a woman. It built up slowly and kept going for a long time compared to her previous experiences. She leaned forward on his chest and said, ?Thank You, Brian, Thank You.? ?So, that was what an orgasm is like as a woman,? Erin thought. After a moment, he pushed her back up and pumped inside her for a while, enjoying the swaying of her breasts, and then grabbed her and pulled her close and clinched and came. She waited for a while, then got off and went into the bathroom to clean herself up. When she got back, Brian was asleep. She lay down beside him and went to sleep herself. At 11:30, Mary woke up and started fussing. Erin thought the time was right to get up anyway because they had to get themselves cleaned up and packed for the trip home. So, she got up and figured out that Mary wanted to nurse and that she needed a diaper change for a bm. Erin started with the diaper change, which did not make Mary happy. But she only fussed a little, because she got another sponge bath, which she had come to love. Then Erin nursed her for 20 minutes and dressed her and put her in a safe spot on the extra bed. She took a shower and washed her hair and put the jeans and blouse and athletic socks and shoes from this morning. Then she started organizing and packing, making sure essential items were in the purse. In the meantime, Brian woke up, showered, and put on some jeans. Finally, they were ready to go, although a last-minute check determined one final diaper change had to be done. Then Erin made a last check of the room, including corners, drawers, bathrooms, etc. She found she had almost forgotten the charger for her phone. They left the room at 12:45. After checking out, and Erin called the cab company Brian had taken when he arrived. She was pleased that the same driver responded 30 minutes later. She said, ?Hi, I rode with you when I came in on Sunday.? He looked at her quizzically. ?Sorry lady, I don?t remember you. But I gave a ride to your husband.? Oops. The driver loaded their luggage, and she and Brian and Mary got into the cab. Erin asked, ?How much will the ride to the airport be?? The driver replied, ?$45.? Erin, ?That?s $15 more than when I came.? ?Different time of day, different day of week, different traffic,? said the driver. As they rode out to the airport, Erin realized she was cutting it close on money. She thought they could still afford her ticket and the taxi ride home, but they wouldn?t have a lot left over for food. Double Oops. Despite the rough start to the conversation with the driver, she still managed to start a pleasant conversation about Eugene and his family. By the time they were to the Airport, she felt a little better. She got out the $100 Brian had put aside at the start of the trip and the $250 cash that her employer had sent her. It added up to $350. She gave the driver $50, since he had hauled their things almost into the airport. She and Mary got in line to purchase her ticket. The one-way ticket to Blakefield was $180, but she had forgotten the cost of checking bags. Damn. That would be another $75 for the three bags, leaving her $45. She clearly couldn?t afford the convenience of checking bags and would need to carry them on. So, she just bought her ticket and had $120 left over. She needed $60 for the taxi home and was worried that it would be more than that. And just as a matter of philosophy, she wanted to have some in reserve. She seemed to remember her car needed gas, and they were getting short on paper diapers and she was not sure the new credit card would be in her mail when she got home. Even if it was, she might not be able to use it freely because It was in Brian?s name. Double Damn. She decided she couldn?t afford to spend more than $15 of that $120 for food. So, she bought a little snack and a soda each for her and Brian. This brought a minor complaint from Brian, but when he heard her admit she had miscalculated finances, that made him happy enough that he put up with the lean pickings. Then all that was left to do was kill a few hours until the flight took off. Brian appropriated a row of 3 seats and stretched out and watched TV. She leaned back in a chair for an hour while Mary slept, and then nursed her when she woke. Then Erin had to find a rest room and change Mary?s diaper. However, the flight was still an hour away, so she left the bags with Brian and carried Mary around the airport and pointed to things in windows and said the name for Mary. Mary didn?t understand, but she liked being talked to. Then Erin found a tot lot to sit by for a while and talk baby talk to Mary. She noted several younger men who looked at her like she was crazy and seemed to be parodying her behavior, but Mary loved it. Hell with the men. Whoa, where did that thought come from. Not ?Hell with those people? who were rudely mocking her, but ?Hell with the men,? as though Erin were not a man. Maybe she was getting a little too deep into this motherhood role. Finally, the time came to start loading. Erin went back to the gate, woke up Brian, grabbed Mary?s bag and checked that it had everything she might need in it, including her laptop. She insisted that Brian take care of the other two bags. They went to the gate, stood in line, had their tickets confirmed, and headed out to the plane. Before they could get to the stairs, a stewardess told them they had to check their bags. Erin had counted on this. Bag check at the plane was preferable to regular bag check. It was free, and they would not have to wait for bag delivery when they arrived. She was worried that she might have to check Mary?s stuff too, but the stewardess told her she knew Erin would have to keep the baby?s bag with her. Smiling in appreciation, Erin walked to the stairway with Brian, handed him Mary?s bag before he could object, and climbed the stairway to the plane. While waiting at the top, she asked Brian if he wanted to ask someone to change seat assignments, so they sit together. His response was, ?I suppose.? She explained to the on-board stewardess that they had bought their tickets at different times and would like to be able to sit together. The stewardess on board asked her assigned seat-mate to switch, and on seeing a largish woman carrying an infant as a potential travel partner, the man was more than willing to switch seats with Brian. So, they sat down, buckled in, and relaxed for the short flight. Mary fussed a bit when they took off and her ears started hurting, but the stewardess gave her a little bottle of juice, and her ears popped, and she was fine. Mary spent the flight drinking the bottle, a new experience for her. Before the descent, Erin asked if she could get the little bottle refilled and keep it until they got off the plane, to deal with the effect of the descent on Mary?s ears. Erin tried to engage Brian in conversation, but he was engrossed in a magazine he?d gotten. She gave a brief thought to how much more involved this flight had been than the flight out.