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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e5 Carrie

Series 4, Episode 5: Carrie We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And now we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e6 Samantha

Series 4, Episode 6: SAMANTHA We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re in a large carpark ... Hundreds of cars, shoppers pushing trolleys back and forth ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re looking at the large entrance gates of a zoo ... Large letters spell out ‘DUDLEY ZOO’. A small line...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e7 Siobhan

Series 4, Episode 7: SIOBHAN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re in the middle of a busy food-court - restaurants...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e16 Olivia

“The United Kingdom of Zoo – Series 4, Episode 16: Olivia” by Luke Ozvik Series 4, Episode 16: OLIVIA We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... The Royal Courts of Justice in London. An amazing grandiose building, opened way back in 1882 by Queen Victoria herself. It’s an impressive Victorian Gothic grey stone building that screams...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e20 Tina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re looking at a sandy beach on a perfect summer’s day – small waves rolling...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series End of Series 4 Special ndash Rocky Retires

We’re on a pretty grimy old terraced street in the grim northern city of Gateshead. The houses are wall-to-wall, narrow and double story. Brick walled, with a front door and a single window on the ground level, two windows on the upper level, and an almost pointless one-meter front ‘yard’, before a low brick wall and then the pavement. The side of the road is nose-to-tail with parked cars. Walking toward us, the familiar figure of our hostess, Charley. It’s a lovely day (by the standards...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e9 Tara Carver

Series 5, Episode 9: Tara Carver (59) – Edinburgh We open with our standard sequence – a high altitude image of the United Kingdom. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy caricature of our host, Charley, floating infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping toward the ground, heading in...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e12 Cate Morado 36

We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the south of England, toward the massive urban sprawl that is London ... Reaching ground level in just a few seconds. From here we race through animated streets, passing traditional London Black Cabs and red Double Decker buses until we hit a wide street of three-story buildings – shopfronts downstairs, apartments...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e13 Anne Marie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e16 Annalise Tsaro 31

Series 5, Episode 13: Annalise Tsaro (31) – Dover – builder’s wife, loads of kids, ultra-protected, wants to do something crazy and independent We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level in front of the White Cliffs of Dover in just a few seconds – and we’re already into live-action. From here we race toward the cliffs, but just as we expect to rise...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e17 Brigitte Christopher 42

Series 5, Episode 17 - Brigitte Christopher (42) We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the south of England, toward the massive urban sprawl that is London ... Reaching ground level in just a few seconds. We chase...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e18 Sadia Khan 20

S05:E18: Sadia Khan (20 yr old fun loving slut) We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading west, toward the edge of the country, over the sea toward Ireland, then back suddenly over Wales as we come down to ground level. From here we race over the green, green grass of home, over land, to a small town, charging along the narrow streets, past white...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e19 Tiffany Black 36

Series 5, Episode 19 - Tiffany Black (36) We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – just long enough to notice that this week the shot includes lines of longitude and latitude ... Then we fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the country, staying on the zero-degree line of latitude ... Dropping toward the south, toward the huge urban spread of London ... Staying on that imaginary line – right into...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e3 Maggie Craggs 51

We fade in on a low-quality video image of a middle-aged, dark-haired woman. She’s slim and white – very white. Not a head-turner, but pleasant enough for her age. Dark eyes, high cheekbones, a narrow jaw. She’s casually dressed in jeans and blouse, although the blouse is unbuttoned far enough to show some cleavage – widely spaced cleavage, boobs not too big, but with a good couple of inches between them. She’s holding a piece of paper; which she reads from as she looks into the camera...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e4 Becky Millington 32

We fade in on the face of a man – Mr Average, nothing to shout about, nothing to run away from ... He’s filming himself, selfie-style on a smart-phone camera. He looks excited and full of fun. He speaks, almost whispers, direct to the camera, in a mild Scouse accent, “Dear Charley, my name’s Kyle, and I’d like to nominate my partner, Becky, to be on The United Kingdom of Zoo – because she never stops thinking about having sex with dogs ... And to prove it ... Come with me...” He turns the...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e5 Julia Green 56

We fade in on high street – plenty of people around, obviously not during the Coronavirus lockdown. The camera swings around to face a bank, then moves in through the doors – past a member of staff on the front desk who waves at whoever is holding the camera (clearly knowing them) ... The camera moves past a line of customers and up to one of the cash windows ... The clerk behind the window looks up... She’s middle-aged, with a tired, almost ‘loose’ looking face – one of those big mouths...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e12 Catherine Harrison 29

Series 6, Episode 12: Catheryn Harrison (29), from Cardiff We fade in on the familiar image of our hostess, Charley, with her tattooed fake cleavage doing it’s best to escape over the top of a strapless red mini-dress, as she drives her BMW along a quiet duel-carriageway. There are more cars around than in previous weeks, but it’s still pretty quiet. Charley talks over her shoulder as she drives – talking to her passenger rather than to the camera. We switch to a second GoPro camera which...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e16 Ava Marvaux 22

from Tottenham, London. We fade in on our hostess, Charley. She’s skirting that territory between sexy and strange. With her heavily botoxed face, obviously fake bolt-on boobs, and all those tattoos on her chest, her legs, her arms ... All wrapped up in too-small clothes, showing off as much flesh as possible – mini-skirt, sleeveless low-cut top. She’s strange, but she’s ours... We’re on a wide grey street, black fences on either side, nothing beyond them on one side, a blue storage...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e18 Petra Johnson 34

We open with a mini-montage of the architecture and beauty of the historic city of Cambridge. Universities, churches, museums, old houses ... We see a couple being taken for a romantic trip along the River Cam on a punt. There’s lots of people about, and it’s a beautiful sunny day (observant viewers may note that this establishing footage was taken from an old episode of Antiques Road Show). It’s a beautiful city. Then we slam cut to the inside of a large concrete and steel barn – where we...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e19 Sadie Fernandez 45

Series 6, Episode 18: Sadie Gonzalez (45) from Motherwell We fade in on a drone shot – flying over the middle of a small town ... Not too pretty, low rise, tightly packed ... Then panning around over a large, craggy area of parkland, before coming to rest on a large old-school factory. We hover over the factory for a moment, then cut to... Outside the factory ... Ground level. Our hostess – in a low cut top that shows off her fake boobs and chest covering ‘DOGWHORE’ tattoo – and tight...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e4 Aiman Ali 31

We open on a photo of a geek sitting infront of a computer, looking into camera. Then fade through to a stunning bit of fantasy artwork – a large, muscle-bound and windswept hero – with the same face as the geek. Then fade to another photo, a greasy haired kid trying to look tough. Fading through to a hero with Brad Pitt ‘Fight Club’ type body, and Brad Pitt ‘A River Runs Through It’ type hair blowing in the wind. A woman’s voice, well spoken, light and friendly, with a slight...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e7 Debra Bonds 49

Series 7, Episode 7: Debra Bonds (49), from Milton Keynes We fade in on a selfie-style photograph of two women, hugging close, looking up into the lens. One is the very familiar dark haired, fake looking figure of our former hostess, Charley Ozvik, her bolt-on tits almost bursting out of the top of a mini-dress; the other is a much less attractive, middle-aged blonde haired and round featured woman in a shapeless loose t-shirt and jeans – she’s smiling, a strange smile that shows a lot of...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e14 Fiona Little 47

We begin with a mini-montage of a middle-aged woman at work in a little office. Sitting behind her desk, all we can see is her upper body and head. The first thing we notice, despite her wearing a loose sweater, is that her chest is enormous, big old titties that we can’t wait to see – those who can tear their eyes off her upper body will note her short dark hair, cut neatly around a pretty, but unremarkable face. Standing in the staff kitchen, making a coffee, she appears to be a reasonable...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e16 Susan Morgan 22

Series 7, Episode 16: Susan Morgan (22), from Loughborough Fade up on a mini-montage of various young people playing tennis – young boys and girls, and teenagers, playing hard, practicing, being coached – at a large complex of tennis courts. A little cutaway to a sign shows us that we are at “The DAN MASKELL Tennis Centre”. We end the montage watching a particular young lady – slightly older, and considerably more ‘developed’ than the other young ladies we’ve seen playing. The focus of our...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e20 Page 3 Horse special

Series 7, Episode 20: Page 3 Special We open with a montage: Still images of Page 3 girls - smiling, topless models with amazing bodies; clips of these same models at show-bizz functions and public appearances; cover shots of adult magazines with those same girls highlighted; and more ‘Page 3’ shots – blondes, brunettes, black girls, white girls, fake boobs, real boobs (but always big boobs). These aren’t the Page 3 superstars – not a Sam Fox, Linda Lusardi or Maria Whittaker of the 80s –...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s8e1 Angelina Dubravka 19 doggy blowbang

With everything that’s been going on in the world in 2020, we at the United Kingdom of Zoo decided that something special was needed to end the year. Rather than a 20 episode series, we decided to really go for it with a marathon 50 episode series. One girl can’t handle that kind of schedule – so we decided to enlist a group of our former guests to share hosting duties on the series ... We hope you enjoy this special opening episode, and the rest of the series, and we trust you will enjoy our...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s8e9 Meredith Caig 48 from Newport

An establishing shot of a modern looking school – all identifying signage is digitally masked for privacy reasons, but anyone familiar with the area would immediately recognize the stylized architecture of the building. And then our host steps into frame infront of the sign ... Sexy dimples, and big fake tits pushing out of the top of her sexy black PVC mini-skirted business suit, dominate the first impression. We can’t help but stare at those perfect orbs of flesh as they seem to attempt an...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s8e20 Lois Gordon 49

Series 8, Episode 20: Lois Gordon (49), from Bristol We fade in on what appears to be an outdoor storage facility for large trucks, catering vans, and cars. All marked on the side and rear with “Bristol Television and Film Services” plus logos for Netflix, C4, ITV, Sky, Film4, etc. We pan around to show various vehicles off, until we come to rest on this week’s host... Short, chunky and very hairy, standing in the middle of the yard, wrapped up in a big black jacket, it’s our favourite...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s9e5 Edie Penrice 43 from Mansfield

We fade in on the exterior of what appears to be a wide, apartment complex. Two levels, very pretty, limited parking. Then we’re inside, noting the number of old people sitting in armchairs or being pushed around in wheelchairs. We move to an indoor swimming pool – steam rising into the air suggesting that this is a hydrotherapy pool. In the pool, a small group of women are being put through a series of exercises by a nurse/carer who is standing on the side of the pool. They are extremely...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s9e17 Zoe Hooper 38 dreamer

Series 9, Episode 17: Zoe Hopper (38), from Barnsbury, London We cut to an inner-city street. We’re looking up at a seemingly endless plain, high, brick wall. No windows. No billboards. Just bricks ... And then a large black gate – two stories high, a simple sign is screwed to the wall next to the gate. It reads, “H.M. PRISON PENTONVILLE” We look at this for a moment, then swing the camera the other way to look out at the other side of the street – and the plainest, dullest apartment block...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s9e19 Cameron Chambers 40 wheelchair freak

Series 9, Episode 19: Cameron Chambers (40), from Swindon An establishing shot of a large mechanical workshop, half a dozen mechanics in blue overalls working on a couple of commercial trucks... And then our host steps into frame ... This week it’s former webcam girl, Kimberly, whose good looks and great figure, are always a welcome sight – especially when, as today, she’s wearing her short-shorts and really showing her legs off. The mechanics in the background certainly approve of her –...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S10 E10 Paola Muto 27 from Liverpool

Once again, we fade in on our bedroom set. That rusty bedstead, the filthy stained mattress ... The harsh lighting. Anyone watching will appreciate that this really is the last place a woman would want to be ... Yet they seem to be lining up to appear on the show ... Case in point – We hear the clicking of heels as this week’s guest walks onto the set. We whip the camera around and see something amazing walking toward us ... The first thing we notice is the dead straight, navel length,...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S10 E18 Ayesha Shah 37 from Nottingham

Once again – just as we have for the last seventeen shows – we fade in on the same bedroom set. A rusty old bedframe and a dank old mattress, illuminated in a circle of harsh light from a single spotlight. It strikes us, as it does every week, as the perfect example of the depravity this show has sunk to. It’s disgusting, and people love it ... So, let’s continue... From off camera we hear the clicking of heels on concrete as this week’s guest approaches. Those with good stereo-sound will...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S11 E03 Madison Hayles 22 from Huddersfield

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, angular glass fronted building with the words “HUDDERSFIELD LEISURE CENTRE” standing on the front of its roof. As we pan along the front of the building, we come to rest on a slutty-looking brunette with a hefty looking blue-grey Weimaraner. It’s the last of this year’s three hosts, our perverted pornster – Renae Russell ... Her long brunette hair hanging loose, down to the shoulders of her white mini-dress – which is tight...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S11 E07 Kylie Gallagher 27 from Weston Super Mare

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a strip of old white buildings. Shop downstairs, accommodation upstairs. They are separated from the road by a pave wide enough to accommodate off street parking infront of the shopfronts, most of which is occupied by Volkswagon and Peugeot house-wife runabout cars... We focus on one store in particular – marked “OASIS beauty therapy” – looking in through the window to see a middle-aged woman being given a facial mask by a young,...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s11e12 Lorraine McInnes 55 from Basildon

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a wide high street, consisting of ugly 1960’s block buildings alongside three-level mock-Tudor buildings (white-washed walls, black wooden beams, and steeply angled rooftops with high dormer windows) over modern shopfronts for betting shops, hairdressers, computer repair shops, pizza takeaways and banks. And then we cut to a small market – just a dozen stalls, customers fingering the wares – stallholders talking them into buying stuff...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s11e13 Karnam Usher 39 from Worcester

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a very wide street in a sleepy English town. On the far side of the street - brown brick buildings, a clocktower, a pub, and a line of two-story shops (shopfront downstairs, shopkeeper’s residence above), everything with steep tiled roofs. We see a familiar figure walking along infront of these shops, somehow managing to walk smoothly on stack-heeled stripper shoes, her almost skin-tight black PVC ‘business suit’ pushing her fake boobs...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s11e19 Phoebe Diamond 47 from Manchester

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a row of white fronted buildings – all shopfronts – all jewellery shops ... We’re in Manchester’s heavily Jewish, jewellery district ... We move along past one, then another, then another, all in a line ... Before slowing to halt outside one of them – named “Diamond’s” – where we end up looking at the back of a blonde-haired figure wearing jeans so tight that we know she’s a hot woman before she even turned around, and hold the lead of a...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s12e05 Evelyn Streete 38 from Eastbourne

We start this week’s show looking at the picturesque streets of an old town. The houses on our right are raised up above road level, with little sets of steps every dozen houses leading down from the footpath to the path beside the road we’re on. To our right, a high green barrier of hedgerows and trees blocks our view. Then we’re turning to the right, through a break in the hedgerow, and into a small street side carpark – onward, through a pair of gates marked “Ocklynge Cemetery”... And...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s12e08 Olwen Mills 37 from Cardiff

We begin this week’s show outside an impressive looking sporting stadium. Grey Concrete, shiny glass and red painted fences. Huge letters along the top of one stand read “PRINCIPALITY STADIUM” Infront of the stadium, a smaller building – two stories and pitched roof, it looks like a cross between a church and train station ... It’s actually the stadium entrance and ticket office for all Welsh Rugby Union matters. It’s not too busy, but there are a few groups of tourists and fans milling...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S12 E09 Helena Gates 50 from Leatherhead

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a high-quality collection of low-rise apartments. Multiple buildings, each of them four floors high. Red brick and white render, lots of small square windows and balconies that look almost completely unused. Then, walking around the corner in cargo pant shorts, and his beloved West Ham football shirt, his Doberman beside him ... It’s Dennis, the Cockney geezer that our audience has grown to either love or hate, and he’s approaching us with...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s12e10 Brooke Longstaff 20 from Melton Mowbray

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of an old-school theme park. Small roller coasters, spinning rides, fairy tale climbing frame palaces, climbing frames with water features, and a large central lake with some water dodgems ... We finish up at the entrance area – a large concrete courtyard with bright green buildings across the front of the park. A sign above the green buildings reads, “Twin Lakes Park”. Sitting out front of the entrance, a green wooden pen, which holds a...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s12e11 Jacinta Eager 46 from Glasgow

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of an impressively large Spanish Baroque style, brownstone building - the overstated Kelvinghall Art Gallery and Museum. We pause for a moment, then cut inside to look at impressive original artworks by Rembrandt, Monet, Renoir and van Gogh, as well as antique items from ancient Greece, Rome and Egypt, all set in impressive stone floored splendor. Tourists and art buffs point out and discuss displays with each other as we pass, coming to rest...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S12 E14 Danielle Brazil 29 from Rochdale

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a borderline-grim old, grey/brown stone building. Four stories tall and square in every way. Square walls, square windows. This was one a mill, manufacturing textiles, but is now home to multiple businesses ... A large sign stretches over two of the windows identifying that this part of the building is home to “KIDZ THINGZ”. We pause on the front of the store, then turn our camera to face the approaching figure of our host ... All...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S12 E16 Tamara Cooper 32 from Southampton

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of St Mary’s Stadium, home of Southampton Football Club ... Then spinning around to look over the River Solent, zooming in on a large, gray-green structure with little round windows ... Then we cut to that building – on a dusty industrial estate - with the river and St Mary’s Stadium in the background. A sign on the front of the building reads “MAIN AGGREGATES”. Our host steps into frame from the side, immediately making the scene better to...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S13E02 Fatima Katirgoglou 28 from Birmingham

We start this week’s show with some establishing shots of suburban Birmingham. Graffiti covered brick walls, small shops and cafes - we’re travelling along a grey street, under a train bridge, and coming up infront of another brick wall, this one marked with a sign that reads “MIDLANDS PLANTERS” ... And beyond the wall, we’re moving through a small market garden - collection of plants, small bushes, plant pots, etc. We turn a corner and come face to face with our host – ex pornstar and...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S13E03 Maggie Arnold 51 from Bootle

All around us we can see warehouses and factory units, cheap shops and tired people walking against the wind. Everything from the dullness of the buildings (and people), to the pot-holes in the road and the greyness of the sky confirm that this is the cheap part of an old, industrial town, and we’re ‘up north’... We turn to look up and down the street, as if we’re checking on traffic, then we cross the road, moving toward a Ladrokes betting shop... We cut inside and see a number of men...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S13E05 Stephanie Dabizas 26 from Glasgow S

We open with an establishing shot of a strange, almost monolithic tower. The lowest few floors are painted white, then the rest of it is blank concrete. There’s a single strip of windows, running from the ground to the sky, right up through the middle of the tower ... It’s only when our camera tracks along the street, looking back at the tower, that we are able to see another side of the building and we can suddenly see a hundred windows and confirm that it is a residential tower. Beside the...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S13 E06 Abigail Williams 39 from Woking

We’re cruising along a narrow road – the only markings are the yellow no-parking lines, there’s no centre line, because the road just isn’t wide enough. It’s the kind of road Americans like our hostess, Jenna McCartney would think everyone in England lives on ... Narrow pavements on either side, then hedgerows, then old, terraced houses behind small gardens. We watch the houses flashing by for a few seconds, then slow down before turning into the one-car deep driveway of a particularly old...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S13E14 Valerie Ward 47 from Welwyn Hatfield with Renae

We’re tracking through an alleyway behind a shopping centre, signs on the outside of the grubby buildings read, “BOOTS PHARMACY”, and “EURO SUPERSTORE”, there are limited parking spaces but most of the road is covered with yellow hatch-lines, making sure trucks delivering to the shops can always get through the lane. Opposite the large stores, the rear of another line of smaller stores – each with its own lock-up garage. We move through the car park toward a gap between two brick walls, a...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S14E03 Jada Wright 38 from Harlow with Renae

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a concrete and brick pedestrianized shopping/apartment precinct. It probably looked great on paper in the 1970s, but in the present day it looks dull and windswept. A big caption appears, filling almost the whole screen, “HARLOW, ENGLAND.” The caption fades, and then we see people moving from shop to shop, mostly ignoring our cameras – but a few pause and stare, obviously seeing our host and either trying to figure out what’s going on, or...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S14E7 Dorothy Agnew 58 from Skegness with Renae

We start today’s show with a montage of shots of life in a caravan park – from the middle-aged couples setting up for a day of reading books and talking about the weather; to kids eating ice-creams; to men comparing the size of their tents; to long-term travellers, set up in a corner of the site (their caravans and cars looking five times older than anything else in the park)... A big caption appears, filling almost the whole screen, “SKEGNESS, ENGLAND.” The caption fades, and we’re...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S14 E09 Vanessa Moore 34 from Manchester with Jenna

We begin this week’s show with a shot of a collection of impressive, modern tower blocks. Each has a different style, format, and color. From browns, to greys, to whites. Lots of windows and lots of balconies. We move along a new, black-topped road, toward the towers, noting the lack of old buildings, and the lack of greenery (a few freshly planted trees and a flower bed, nothing more). There’s an ornamental sculpture up ahead at the side of the road – it looks like a stack of cubes twisted...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S14 E15 Leanne O rsquo Donnell 40 from Worthing with Dennis

We begin this week’s show with a tracking shot along a rocky, narrow beach. The sky is cloudless, but a blueish, dim colour that instantly tells us it’s winter at the seaside. To our left, the sea rolling in to carpet the sand with a high tide flow, then withdrawing slowly. To our right, a deserted playground, and beyond that a seafront road and then 3 and 4 story beachfront apartment buildings. More functional than fancy. A big caption appears, filling almost the whole screen, “WORTHING,...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S14 E18 Erica Murdoch 47 from Bournemouth

With begin today’s show with a drone shot of the buildings and grounds of a large school campus - several large buildings surrounded by playing fields and parkland, and hundreds of students making their way from one building to the next as we watch... A big caption appears, filling almost the whole screen, “BOURNEMOUTH, ENGLAND.” The caption fades, and then we see that many of the students are double-taking, turning, walking backwards, as they see a woman in a very small red dress,...

PornWorld Rachael Cavalli Fake Titted Housewife Rachael Cavalli Trades Pussy Pounding To Bribe Real Estate Agent

Real estate agent Damon Dice is visiting a potential new client to value her house while her husband is out of town. He knocks on the door and when busty blonde Rachael Cavalli answers, she takes an instant shine to her realtor. She follows him around the house and when he gives her a lower-than-expected evaluation, Rachael uses her feminine charms to get exactly what she wants. She kneels down on their marble-tiled floor and sucks Damon’s cock, deep-throating him before she starts to...

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MonstersOfCock Avril Santana Is That a Fake Cock

This time we got Avril Santana this hot Venezuelan girl had never been in camera and she was looking for a big dick, so we bought Ramon to fulfill her request, when she met him, she thought he had a fake cock until she looked inside his underwear Oh My God she said in Spanish, she was in disbelief. Ramon took out his huge cock and Avril immediately got into it, she started trying to fit it into her mouth to suck it, after that Ramon started to fuck her, the more he pounded her, the more she...

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TMWPOV Sarah Kay Fake casting turns into a hot orgy

Sarah Kay is a girl who really wants to get work as a model. She responds to one of the casting ads for a modeling agency that posted by two tricky fellows. So, Sarah comes to the office for a casting, where in the process of communication, one of the guys asks her to strip naked and then hints to her that he will pay money if she sucks him off. Sarah cheerfully accepts with his proposal in the hope that it will increase her chances of getting a job and proceeds to blowjob. At this moment, the...

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BangBus Binky Beaz Binky Gets Fucked For Fake Cash

Binky was walking down the street when a white van stopped next to her and some guys were asking her what she would do for money. As soon as they were at $750 for just flashing she was game. Easiest money ever! Now they offered more. Another $1500 for fucking. She remembered the good old days when she used to fuck at church and figured why not. So Peter Green rammed his big cock in and out and the girl was screaming in pleasure and agony. He fucked her many different ways and finally came into...

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Fake Lay

Wanna play FakeLay? Are you the kind of person who gravitates toward the ‘fake’ sub-genre of pornography that’s recently gained a lot of traction? Do you enjoy all those casting couch and fake agent pornos that are swarming literally every popular porn tube in existence? Do you crave that rare satisfaction of watching girls get tricked into sex by a guy who’s misleading them into thinking they’re gonna be starlets or models or whatever the fuck?Are you the kind of person who can proudly call...

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Abigail and MoiraChapter 6

Abigail cried as she fell backwards off of the wall but landed in the soft arms of her ex-boyfriend. He stared up at her and cackled gently. "Caught ya." "What d'ya want?" He put his hands underneath her legs and pulled them over the low wall and then righted her. "Ya bloody frightened me." "To share this," he told her and pulled out a small baker's bag from his pocket. She rolled her eyes, and he put his hand in hers. "And a walk." She sighed, and he sniffed. "Ya promised...

Abigail and the Pole

=== She had thought that pole dancing was only for strippers, and that as a feminist she should object to it, but her friends kept telling her that it was great for fitness, a genuine skilled artform, and that it made them feel really empowered. Sceptical but interested, Abigail searched online, and found an advertisement for “Pole Dancing for Feminists”, which sounded like the sort of thing she was after. Classes were Wednesdays at 7 pm. She attended her first one, and found herself in a...

ABIGAIL S TWO DAY GIFT

WARNING: This story contains extreme racist scenes and slurs. This story takes place in the south before the civil war and is about a Caucasian girl dominating two Afro-Americans. In this story you may find racist slurs and the N-word used frequently. This is only to make the story more realistic and NOT to alienate or offend people of colorABIGAIL’S TWO DAY GIFTApril 10, 1862, Huntsville, AlabamaIt was a beautiful spring day. The sun was shining in the sky and everywhere on the plantation...

AbigailChapter 4

If it hadn't been obvious before, it was now; Abigail and Mike were an item. There were a few raised eyebrows, but on the whole, the verdict was 'good for them' and 'Abigail obviously has something going for her'. They spent every moment together that they could; at Uni, or at one or other of their homes, but most of the time they were working or talking, though not entirely without some cuddling and kissing. The key to any successful relationship is communication, but Abigail and Mike...

Abigail and MoiraChapter 14

Margaret knocked stoutly on the door to the flat and Abigail let her in. "Just checkin' you're all right," Margaret told her, putting a bag down on the floor, as Abigail looked alarmed. Margaret looked the young girl up and down, dressed in just a long T-Shirt and Abigail nodded. "Fine," muttered the teenage girl. "What ya up to?" Abigail held out a book. "Readin'," "Most of them are my old books," Margaret muttered. "This used to be my flat and..." She stopped when she saw...

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I've been jerking off all night to Twitter bitches, but I recently came across a porn star on Twitter that I've seen in many videos that made me jizz my fucking pants. If you're not using Twitter to follow porn stars, I don't know what the fuck you're doing. If you didn't know, Twitter lets adult creators post NFSFW content like Reddit. Of course, they do this to gain fans, but you can use this to get more fap sessions out of the day! Why would you just use Twitter to look at dumb-ass trending...

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Abigail part 1

Abigail was gorgeous. Everything I ever looked for in a woman. She was a young college student, around 19-20 years old. She had long tan legs, the absolute perfect figure, long, curly blonde hair and the prettiest baby blue eyes. Only problem Abigail had was that she was married, as was I too. Abigail and John lived next door to us. John was your typical douchebag husband, my wife would notice the different girls he would sneak in and out of their house and Abigail Finally had enough. I...

Abigail and MoiraChapter 2

"Yer late!" The plump girl asked her sister as she straightened her clothes in the floor-length mirror. Abigail looked around and sniffed at her podgy sister before turning round to face her. She swept her long brown hair back and picked up some toast from the kitchen table. "You turned off my alarm," Abigail moaned. "Dae talk mince," Moira spat back instantly and took a bite of another slice of toast. Abigail licked her lips as she ate her breakfast and poured some tea into a cup....

Abigail and MoiraChapter 8

"You clatty cow," Moira cried out as she burst into the room. Quentin stared at her and she pushed him off her sister, laying out in her bed. "Yer a clatty bitch. 'E's mine." "Then fuck him," Abigail replied. "Yer just a frigid witch. Yer fuck things up for everyone." Moira grabbed Abigail's throat, and the younger girl kicked her sister away from her. "He just liked me better." "No," Quentin muttered but neither sister was listening. "'Cause I ain't fat like you."...

Abigail and MoiraChapter 10

Abigail was nervous as she rang the bell on the door to the solicitors. "Come in," she heard shouted and she nervously pushed open the door and walked up the stairs to the second floor; it was above a large newsagents, and she was smiled at by the middle aged woman. "This is Jake, my legal partner." "Partner?" "Work partners," she told her. Jake was at least ten years younger than Margaret and had short black hair on top of a grinning face and a stocky body. "Hey, no more...

Abigail and MoiraChapter 3

Abigail sat nervously in the reception area of the international acting school, biting her nails. She flicked her hair back and studied the handful of other candidates, all frantically reciting words under their breath or reading intently from books. Shona squeezed her daughter's arm as she put down and then picked up her book, taking deep breaths and opening it to the page, before closing it again. "Yer just a wee bit nervous," she told her and Abigail didn't respond. It was the...

Abigail and MoiraChapter 4

"No good?" The burly figure of her father sat next to her and looked into his daughter's misty eyes. She shook her head. "Not past the first," she muttered. "Stoopid dreamin'," Moira told her. "Ya not gonna be in those silly films ya watch. Ah've told you hunners ae times." "That's enough," Shona told her eldest daughter who shovelled her dinner into her mouth. "What's got-in-tae ya?" "She," Moira spat as bits of potato hit her disappointed sister. "She tried to chat...

Abigail and MoiraChapter 13

"It's nice," Simon conceded as he returned to the lounge. "Just one thing missin'," he told her with a grin. "A naked Abigail." "Yeah, and on me knees with me face in ya lap..." Abigail told him with a smile. "I ain't that easy." "Well..." She looked at him and he pursed his lips. "Lisa said you wanted to run a sex school for desperate young men." The teenager laughed loudly. "Not quite," she moaned. "But ... well." She walked into the kitchen, and he followed her as...

AbigailChapter 5

Their reconciliation marked the beginning of a perfect summer. There were very few days they weren't together, though some of them were taken up with study. Mike took Abigail to Norton Aerodrome at Lightwood. A former barrage-balloon site, it had been taken over by the Council as a driver-training centre, where, for a small fee a potential learner driver could be taken to acquire the rudiments of vehicle handling. It was also used for CBT, the training now required of would-be motor-cyclists...

AbigailChapter 2

Abigail was both excited and nervous; she couldn't remember the last time she'd gone clothes shopping with her mother and for several years she'd got by with a combination of generic jeans – not form-fitting ones – and loose jumpers and hoodies. They rode into town on the bus. "Now, love," her mother said, "I don't think you want to be trendy, do you? Tell me if I'm wrong, but you'd like ... what was his name, Mike? ... to see you as an attractive young woman, but you don't really...

AbigailChapter 3

Abigail had felt shy about meeting her parents when she got in the house. Her mother had 'accidentally' emerged from her room heading for the bathroom just at the right moment to meet her. "Good night, love?" The smile on her daughter's face was enough answer, but; "Lovely, thanks, Mum." "'Night, then. Sleep well!" And she did ... tired, even drained, but content, dreaming of love's embrace. Thursday morning, mid-morning she was in the cafeteria with a cup of coffee in front...

Big Tits

I walk in the park most mornings, weather permitting. I walk alone but usually see familiar faces. Not that I know the people, just people that, like me, walk there regularly. I give some of the people names like Big Tits, Big Ugly, etc.Big Tits, is my favorite. She is a lady, I would guess in her forties, with a nice torso, but very slim hips and legs. But, man, those tits are huge. Makes we drool.The walking trail goes around athletic fields including a fenced baseball complex and numerous...

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BigTitsRoundAsses Bridgette B Bridgette B Serves A Pair Of Huge Tits

Bridgette B started running her very own food truck, and everything was going well until she accidentally spilled ketchup all over one of her customers. She felt super bad about it, so she invited him to come inside so she could clean him off. After attempting to remove the ketchup stains from his shirt she decided to polish his cock instead. This way he wouldn’t give her food truck a bad review. She sucked and choked on his cock, then demanded his dick inside of her. She got slammed in her own...

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Bj rk Gudmundsd ttir fan gift day faked IQ

Björk Gudmundsdóttir fan gift day: faked IQ After shared reflexion, Björk came to the conclusionthat her new "fan gift day" could be about something else than sex. Sex remindthe best thing, the one thing that drive her nuts and make her think, but there'smore to life than this. "Who knows, maybe some people care about my thoughts...",suggest to herself a deliriously naive Björk. Inquiries from fans for the first edition of the "fan giftday" are rapidly flying in the Office of Elektra...

AbigailChapter 6

Sherise was not a happy bunny. She'd thought she'd sorted Abigail, but here they were, obviously even closer than they had been, their body language proclaiming to anyone who had the eyes to see that they were intimate. What made it worse was the emotion in Abigail's expression when she looked at Sherise ... pity. She had no right to pity Sherise; just because she'd picked up one of her discards, even if Sherise had been intending to claim him back once he'd gained a proper understanding...

Abigail and MoiraChapter 11

There was a knock on the front door of the terraced house and Abigail looked up. "Not fer me," she muttered and stared at Moira and her parents sat around the table. Moira groaned and threw her fork down on the plate, striding down the small hall and flinging open the door. Her eyes narrowed when she saw the face of her ex-boyfriend and went to close it when her put his foot in the door. "Moira, please. Ah wanna spa'k to you." She snorted. "Yer screwed that dirty bitch," she cried....

Big Tits

How strange to watch my sons ogling the nude women gyrating on the stage, muttering little comments as they celebrated John's last night of freedom. I had never heard of a bachelor party like this, but it had a certain wholesomeness, I supposed. The way I was raised, this was a den of iniquity. For them, seven in all, not counting me, it was a night club. For me, I kept thinking the girls were young enough to be my daughters, which brought a bit of a pang to my heart, since mine had died...

Abigail

Sara Jean hadn't been waiting long when Kirk the Realtor pulled up in his BMW. The tall, immaculately groomed man practically leapt from the car, walking quickly, hand extended, all the while flashing that toothy, brilliant smile that Sara Jean was sure he practiced for hours at a time each night. "Sara... ," he purred. "Sara Jean," she mentally corrected. " ... are you excited?" he asked as he performed the old 'grip and grin'. Despite her reflexive dislike for him, she was...

Abigail and MoiraChapter 12

Abigail nervously fidgeted on the doorstep of the plush house of her ex as figures inside moved towards the door. She put her hands in her pockets and waited in the light drizzle. Simon answered it and stared at the wet teenager. "Come in," he offered and even cracked a wry smile. She paused briefly and, feeling disarmed by his smile, walked in. "I want to say sorry," she offered, and he gave a little grunt. "I must be losin' my touch," he told her. "'Cause I ain't had a girl...

Big Tits

When I saw those tits I was absolutely speechless. My niece, Madison, had brought a girlfriend, Emily, home with her from school that day. This was the girl’s mother here to pick her daughter up and was she ever built. Her name was Cynthia and she sure looked sweet enough to eat. I just had to invite her in so that I could spend more time staring at her enormous tits. I offered her a glass of wine and invited her and her daughter to stay for dinner. I told her that I was a gourmet chef in...

Big Tits

My face was pushed up against the rough wall while I could feel their hands moving over my body. I knew it was only a dream but I couldn't make myself wake up. Their hands were pulling at my clothes, exposing my naked body to the cold night air. My tits were being squeezed so hard that I cried out in pain. I suppose it was the pain that woke me in the end and I opened my eyes to stare up at the ceiling. Lying beside me, still softly snoring, was my husband, I wanted to wake him and tell him of...

Big Saggy Tits

Hey, I love my wife’s huge hooters. Sure they sag but they also swing wonderfully when she fucks. After four kids who nursed for a year each, what do you expect? We are in our mid-thirties. I think she’s sexy as hell but she doesn’t share that image of herself. Kind of an early mid-life crisis thing maybe. I got tired of her avoiding even being naked with me, let alone wanting sex. No matter how much I praise her lovely body she won’t believe me. I’d get, “Oh you just say that because I’m your...

Abigail and Emily Ch 02

I’d expected Emily to be mortified that I’d found her sleeping naked outdoors, but she made no move to put her discarded bikini back on. Instead, she made idle chit-chat, stretching lazily in the sun. I treaded water as we talked, thinking to myself over and over, Act normal. Act normal. I was so rattled by my close call that I was shaking. I struggled to keep my voice calm. Emily showed no suspicion that I’d done anything while she was sleeping. I was so ashamed of what I’d done that I...

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Abigail s cheating story 1

So, where do I start....well, I guess it began about a week before:"Jessica why are you bringing me such slutty clothes? You know I don't want to wear them!" Abigail said to her friend and college roommate, in the changing room at the clothes store, staring into the mirror at the whore outfit she'd been forced to try on. "Because we're going out dancing? To have fun? Remember having fun?!" Jessica replied teasingly. Jess was blonde, a real definition of a bimbo, she had perky D cup breasts, a...

Abigail

My worries began slowly at first then speeded up - friends and workmates were settling into long term relationships in ever increasing numbers. If the trend continued I would soon be the only singleton left sitting at some sad singles bar. Saturday night and I was at home! - alone, feeling sorry for self, listening to Miyuu (what else?), researching; how do bisexual people cope in a long term relationship...all this while couples were sitting on sofas together and binge watching a...

How I became BigTitsGoon

MY PORN TIMELINE...NEARLY 3 DECADES OF PORNI was first exposed to pornography when I was in the first or second grade. I found a magazine clipping at a neighbors house underneath their couch when we were playing. That's got to be the stupidest hiding spot I've ever seen. It probably wasn't Christy Canyon, but I definitely remember big tits and hairy bush.Shortly thereafter I discovered the softcore porn on the movie channels late at night. I would sit and stare with a rock solid prepubescent...

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