The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e16 Olivia
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Series 7, Episode 7: Debra Bonds (49), from Milton Keynes
We fade in on a selfie-style photograph of two women, hugging close, looking up into the lens. One is the very familiar dark haired, fake looking figure of our former hostess, Charley Ozvik, her bolt-on tits almost bursting out of the top of a mini-dress; the other is a much less attractive, middle-aged blonde haired and round featured woman in a shapeless loose t-shirt and jeans – she’s smiling, a strange smile that shows a lot of gum behind her folded back lips. They are huddled together to get in the frame, the camera held out in the older woman’s hand, pointing down at them. Charley has one arm around behind the fan, the other pointing at the large “DOGFUCKER” tattoo on her chest.
We hear a woman talking over the top of the image. It’s the fan. She sounds like she’s in almost constant awe, quite well spoken, with a southern edge to her accent. “My name is Debra Bonds, I’m from Milton Keynes, I’m 49, I’m a teacher ... And I’m the UK of Zoo’s biggest fan...”
We cut to a mini-museum of UK of Zoo memorabilia. It’s almost overwhelming due to the size of the room, which is the second bedroom of a terraced house. The walls are covered with framed pictures of ladies from the series, all of them autographed, a shelf contains all of the official Blu-Ray discs for the series, there are promotional posters for each series, pictures of dogs; then more personal items - paw prints of various dogs, cuttings of fur/hair, even a cockroach (sealed in plastic), items of clothing (panties, bras, mini-skirts and t-shirts, all worn by former guests).
“I’ve been watching the show since the first ever episode – and I’ve always admired the confidence of the ladies. I’ve met 83 of them. I go to all the conventions – I was even at Charley’s gangbang ... You can see me in a couple of shots at the party. In the background. My ambition is to meet them all.”
Standing front and centre, looking into our camera, seeming very proud of herself. Standing here, even in her loose clothing, she appears to be reasonably slim, not skinny – not particularly curvy through the hips or boobs. She’s still wearing jeans and a t-shirt – but this time that t-shirt appears to be the limited-edition UK of Zoo type that is only given to our former guests.
She’s pointing out various pictures, one in particular – a pretty young Asian looking woman, we recognise her as Rebecca Le Quan, from series 5. “I bought Rebecca’s t-shirt on E-Bay. I won’t say how much I paid ... My husband would kill me if he knew!!” She lets out a little guffaw and a snort.
“I like to wear it to the shops ... Sometimes people ask me if I’ve been on the show ... Or if I’ve just recorded an episode ... I like to pretend I have, but I’m not a good liar ... I look forward to shopping after this has aired ... Everyone knowing what I’ve done...” She smiles. “I hope I put on a good show!”
Next - she’s holding up a couple of dildos. One is the standard Rocky model, the other is the deluxe Rocky – the same size, but with the expanding knot and ejaculating syringe. “I got both Rocky dildos ... I wish there was a dildo for every dog on the series, I’d buy the lot. Not just to use them, but to be able to hold them when I watch the show.” She looks like she’s drifting away into a fantasy – thinking about all of those dog cocks, of handling them all...
Then we are see more selfie fan pictures of Debra posing with Charley – a time-lapse of Charley’s descent from cute girl-next-door, to cosmetic-surgery nightmare. Both ladies smiling broadly in each of them. Charley looks genuinely happy to be pictured with her #1 fan.
“Every time I met Charley, she asked me if I had put in my application yet ... I used to say I didn’t want to be a part of it – just wanted to keep watching – but she always said, “You’ll be here one day, on your knees, infront of me, with a big dog on your back...” ... Looks like I’ve missed my chance to do it with her now ... But as soon as she did what she did, I don’t know – I felt like I owed it to her ... Sounds silly, I know ... But I want to do it FOR her.”
Now standing with the wall of framed pictures of the various girls from the show. “I’ve said this to myself so many times...” Deep breath, looking right into the camera, “My name is Debra Bonds, I’m 49, I’m from Milton Keynes – and I want to be fucked by a dog!”
One of our producers, behind the camera, talks next. “You’re a big fan of Charley, and you wanted to do your scene with Thor...”
Debra nods, a hopeful look on her face. The producer continues, “Unfortunately, since she left the show Charley hasn’t allowed us access to her dog ... But we have arranged for you to meet someone you are very familiar with...”
There’s a short pause, then the door to the room opens and we hear the panting of a dog ... We cut to a couple of photos on the wall – one of Debra with her arm around Carol, the woman in red, the other with her crouching between Carol, and Rebel, a large black German Shepherd dog (signed ‘Maybe next time – Carol”. She looks happy in both pictures.
We cut back to our guest, looking almost ecstatic. “Oh my God ... That’s amazing!” She looks round at the producer behind the camera and smiles a big thank you, then moves to welcome her guests – first Carol, in her trademark red dress, with a hug – an incredulous look on her face, stunned that she’s going to lose her bestial cherry to a dog she’s seen in action so often ... Carol greeting her with a, “How are you, love?” and “Didn’t expect to see us, eh?”.
Debra crouches down to stroke and hug Rebel himself around his powerful neck. Looking up at the camera and bringing a hand up to cover her broad smile, a little ashamed/embarrassed to be so excited, and saying, “This is incredible ... I can’t believe it...”
We cut to a shot of her standing, carefully peeling her t-shirt off, revealing a slim body that still somehow manages to have a little muffin top around the belt of her jeans. She’s wearing a white bra, nothing special, very functional, and her cleavage looks soft.
The jeans come off next, that little muffin top dropping and forming a saggy little belly (little being the operative word, she’s not fat – just not in great condition). White panties, covering a saggy bottom, and what appears to be a fairly hairy pussy. Our high-resolution cameras picking up a few straw spider-legs of pubic hair peeking out of the sides between her thighs.
The bra comes off and those boobs take a good journey south toward the floor. Wide and saggy – not horribly so, but considerably below the firm standard set by our near-perfect guest last week.
She pauses for a moment, letting us see her almost naked – just panties separating us from full disclosure. She looks nervous, but excited, her eyes alive, gums exposed as she smiles again.
We cut to a fresh camera angle as she drops down to her haunches again and leans forward to make a fuss of the dog this time without clothes to spoil the experience ... Stroking his sides and reaching down under his body. “What have you got for me, eh? What have you got?” She leans even further forward to get right under his belly, to get her hand onto his sheath – this brings her shoulder down against his chest ... Then she leans back a little, moving her chest against his body so that her soft boob presses against his fur. “Oh, that’s a nice feeling ... Rebel against my titties ... Nice...”
She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling herself close, squashing her soft, drooping boobs against his chest. “MMnnnn, that’s nice...”
Cut to a few minutes later – with Debra on her feet, slipping her panties down off her soft buttocks, down her thighs, and off. Showing off her short trimmed pussy hairs. “I can’t wait to get started...”
She looks down at the Alsatian. “How ‘bout you?”
Then she squats down, thighs apart – knees wide, and angles her pussy toward him. It’s not a flattering position, looking like she’s trying to take a shit – but it opens her up nicely for Rebel ... And he takes full advantage – dropping low, crawling under her and looking up to stuff his nose up between her thighs almost into her cunt ... His tongue completing the job – slipping out of his mouth and into her hole, slithering and slopping around over and over...
“Oh God...” She gasps, throwing her head back and smiling, then looking into camera and letting us know how good it feels just by the look on her face.
He keeps licking – struggling to breath as he snuffles his snout against and between her cunt lips, but obviously keen to keep tasting these potent pussy juices.
“Oh my God – that’s amazing...” She gasps, “His tongue ... Oooohhhhhh...” as she writhes over him and soaks up his enthusiastic licking, bringing her hands up to those saggy boobs of hers, squeezing them hard...
He keeps his head up, his tongue working – over her lips, inside her lips, mining deep into her pussy ... Her legs beginning to shake on either side of his snout ... Reaching down with one hand to touch his head, to remind herself that this is a hairy animal ... And then cumming ... Cumming hard ... Moaning, “OOooohhh fffffucckkk!” and then whimpering as the intense pleasure courses through her body.
“Well, that didn’t take long...” Comments Carol from off-camera. Indeed, it’s almost unfair how fast she’s cum – but that’s how much she’s been looking forward to this – and how much this familiar dog turns her on.
Our legs give way under her and she tumbles back onto the floor – a shriek and then a long snorting laugh as she rolls away from the dog, who seems intent on chasing that pussy across the room. As she rolls over her arse comes up into the air and he tries to mount her – but she continues the roll onto her back again, spreading her thighs and offering her pussy up for some more licking. Stopping laughing for just long enough to say, “More licking, more ... More!”
But he doesn’t seem interesting in that anymore. More interested in trying to stand over her and lower his sexual organs toward her pussy ... She pushes him away a couple of times and tries to get him to lick her, looking frustrated...
Carol jokes that, “You can lead a dog to pussy, but you can’t make him lick, eh?”
Debra looks up at the camera, that gummy smile across her face again – having been licked by Rebel, then joked about by the Woman in Red, this is a pretty good day already ... Why waste time... ? “Will we just go straight to the sex then?” She asks Carol, adding, “I’d really like to get into that...”
“Yeah...” Confirms Carol. “We’ll get you in position so he can give you a good fucking ... Then once he’s had his way, we’ll let you have a bit suck of his cock ... If you like...”
Debra smiles again and nods, “Ohhhh yes please...”
She checks that the camera men are ready, and when she gets a nod from behind the camera she drops down onto her hands and knees. Her boobs hang down and swinging a bit, but soft belly sagging slightly...
Before she’s even in position the dog is making his move ... Scampering behind her and rearing up before landing a big paw on her arse, slipping off to the side, scratching her buttock and thigh ... She winces and yelps an “OOwwwchh ... You fucker!” Then immediately regains self-control as the dog makes a second attempt...
This time he hits his target – his front legs slotting down on either side of her, chest pushing over her arse, resting on her back - his paws coming into contact with the front of her thighs and then he instinctively knows he’s in position and immediately beginning his attempts to pair his cock with her cunt – stabbing and jerking toward her in ugly spine bending thrusts.
“He’s trying to fuck me ... He’s trying to fuck me...” She commentates... “Come on, son...” She encourages.
Feverish thrusting for a few seconds without joy – then a short pause whilst his big hindpaws appears to skitter forward, then back again, before making a fresh attempt at her pussy – making deep, hard thrusts – pushing his cock as far as he can – going between her thighs, under her, not quite getting the angle he needs to get his pink lipstick cock tip into that warm wet human pussy he knows so well ... Straining...
She gasps again, “Come on, boy ... You can do it ... I want your cock ... I want it inside me...” She begs. “Please fuck me ... Come on...”
And finally – after she’s let Debra suffer for long enough, Carol steps forward. “Would you like me to lend a hand... ?” She offers ... Not waiting for an answer before bending forward over the dog, showing off a generous helping of cleavage in the low front of her dress, enough to distract us momentarily from the dog action – and reaches behind her dog, between his hindlegs to grab his cock at the base, and to re-direct it up and forward to the fan’s pussy - just letting the tip split her lips ... Then holding him in place for a fraction of a second until he gets the idea of where he is ... Then she steps back out of the way quickly as he digs his hindpaws into the carpet and he pushes forward to immediately thrust deeper, driving his whole cock right up into her snatch. Making her lurch forward, her head up and he face contorted into a mask of pure delight. “Ohhh fffuucckkkk! He’s fucking me ... He’s fucking me...”
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As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...
We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...
Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...
Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...
Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...
We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...
Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...
Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...
We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...
We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...
Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...
We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...
We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...
Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...
Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...
We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...
Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...
We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......
We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...
Series 4, Episode 9: SHELLEY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town. Out of season and on a windy, cold and rainy day, the place is virtually...
We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...