The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)S14, E09 - Vanessa Moore (34), From Manchester, With Jenna free porn video

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We begin this week’s show with a shot of a collection of impressive, modern tower blocks. Each has a different style, format, and color. From browns, to greys, to whites. Lots of windows and lots of balconies.

We move along a new, black-topped road, toward the towers, noting the lack of old buildings, and the lack of greenery (a few freshly planted trees and a flower bed, nothing more).

There’s an ornamental sculpture up ahead at the side of the road – it looks like a stack of cubes twisted around at different angles, with the same letters printed on all four sides of each block. Spelling, from top to bottom, TOMORROW.

It’s not the biggest sign, and we can see that someone is standing behind it – because there’s a beautiful arse sticking out on one side (wrapped in a tight black mini-skirt that barely qualifies as a belt), and some cleavage (in a low cut leather-look bodice that really pushes it together) at the front ... As we get closer, she steps out so we can see her...

It’s our bleach blonde, big jawed, fake boobed, former Playboy Playmate – the all-American dog-fucker, Jenna McCartney.

She smiles at our camera as we get closer, then launches into her intro in that mid-western American accent of hers, “Hello, and welcome to Salford Docks in Manchester ... I’m your host, Jenna McCartney, and this – is ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’.”

We cut to a close-up, “Domestic violence is the most horrendous thing that most women will ever have the misfortune to face ... Here at the United Kingdom of Zoo we take this extremely seriously – because the only thing that should ever pound on a woman, is a big fucking dog! Here at the United Kingdom of Zoo we believe in revenge – and this week’s guest, is here to get some ... Revenge, that is...” She pauses, then smiles, “ ... And a bit of a pounding from a nasty fucking dog too...”

She turns to look back toward those towers, and we cut to inside one of the high-rise apartments...

We meet this week’s guest standing infront of the sliding windows that lead to the balcony that looks out over the streets we were just filming from ... Standing there, her back to the window, facing us with her arms out wide and welcoming, she looks like a girl who could be a lot of fun...

She’s a fuller figured lady, not fat – but not slim, with a great chest (barely hidden beneath a low-cut cami-top), with a round face, an open-mouthed smile, big blue eyes, and neatly styled brunette hair, pulled back from her face and tied behind her head – a loose fringe left hanging down over one eye.

She manages to force words from her wide smile, almost gushing as she introduces herself, “Hello ... I’m Vanessa Moore ... And you’re not!” She laughs a little, leaning forward to show off her beautiful cleavage. “And don’t you wish you were?!” She laughs a little more. “I’m a 34-year-old, single mother of two, from Manchester.”

We cut to a two shot of Vanessa standing next to our American host, still backed by that big window. The curvy brunette and the dynamite blonde make an interesting pair...

Jenna nods and smiles as our guest tells us her story...

Breathing deep, trying to cover up the pain of her back-story, she begins - “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life ... I’m really not a good judge of men, or I do something that attracts the wrong ones ... I keep picking the bastards ... I’ve had one abusive relationship after another ... My last partner used to beat me if I even talked to another man, and, well, I had the last laugh because this place was his, and now it’s mine, and he’s doing time...” She laughs a little ‘victorious’ laugh, then continues, “And after him, I just decided I’d had enough of it. I’m not taking it anymore ... I’m done with men.”

“It’s a pretty big leap from being done with men, to starting up with dogs...” Jenna’s statement hangs in the air like a question.

“Yeah ... I suppose it does seem like a gap ... But ... I DO like dogs ... I DO think it’s sexy to see a woman having ‘relations’ with one ... So this isn’t some wild, out of nowhere move.” She pauses, thinking, then adds, “ ... But I’ve never wanted to do it myself. That’s never been a fantasy of mine. It’s like watching lesbian porn – I enjoy it, but I’ve got no interest in doing it.”

“Okay then...” Smiles Jenna, warming to her guest. “ ... So how do we get from ‘I like to watch it’ to ‘I want to do it’?”

Our guest sighs, “Ahh ... Like I said, I’ve had really bad luck with men ... I’ve been beaten, and abused, and used by just about every man I’ve ever been with ... So I want to make a break from that life ... My old life ... And I want to start a new one ... I tried to think of something that was completely ‘not me’, and I was reading an article about women in relationships with dogs, and I thought, that’s definitely ‘not me’, and then I thought, doing what I’ve always done obviously isn’t working, so why not try to it ... And then I thought, I want the whole world to know that I’m someone else ... And that’s what brought me here.”

She holds her hands up – suggesting that there’s nothing more.

Jenna nods, “Well, if you want to change your life – this is a great way to do it ... My life has turned upside down since the first time I did it ... I was famous and successful before I started, but I was never happy ... Now ... I’m the happiest bitch on the planet!” She gives Vanessa one of her extra bright smiles, flashing all of those big white teeth. Then she adds, “And it’s a great way to thumb your nose at all the men who ever abused you...”

“Yeah...” Responds our guest. “Who needs men...?” – she smiles back, “ ... All I need is a dog ... Do you have one for me?”

We cut to the door of the apartment as it opens, and this week’s star enters ... Grey and solid ... Our American bulldog, Cooper, sidles into the room, his paws clicking on the boards as he looks around, tongue out – quickly spotting what he’s come here for today...

We cut back to the other side of the room to see our guest – and she’s already naked ... Looking back at the dog with a focused look on her face – like what-have-I-got-myself-into?

She steps forward toward the dog and drops down to her knees on her hardwood floor – catching his head as he goes straight for her crotch ... Trying to push past her hands, but she gets a good grip – taking control.

She holds his head, lifting it so she’s looking into his big dark eyes – and calmly making a deal with him... “I’ve made a lot of mistakes ... Please don’t let yourself be one of them...”

Then she leans forward towards him and allows him to lick at her mouth - letting her lips part a little so that his long tongue can swipe over her teeth ... She brings her hands up from his head to her breasts – just holding them, nothing more...

Relaxing and letting her teeth part so he can lick deeper inside – bringing her tongue up to meet his ... And then flicking it out whenever he backs away, teasing him to come back for more ... Smiling a little each time he starts licking again, moving her hands around, brushing her palms over her nipples – then moving to fingers on nipples.

She tries to keep him occupied with kisses, but he has other things on his mind ... A certain smell wafting up to him from between her thighs – dropping his head and trying get at it. She lets go of her lovely tits and tries to steer his mouth back up toward hers, stealing a few more almost reluctant licks from him ... But he keeps trying to move away...

Our American host advises/confirms that, “He wants to lick your pussy...”

And after a couple more licks on her lips and tongue, she lets him head south again ... Sighing, “Ooooh okaaaaaayyy!” and feigning reluctance as she shifts to the side, raising one knee in the air to open up her legs and offer him easy access to her pussy...

He drops his head down between her thighs and sniffs, then licks at her pussy ... The first contact makes her back jerk, her head flicking up and a surprised smile flickering over her face before she looks back down to watch him lick, quickly bringing a hand down on the back of his wide head ... Caressing the fur rather than holding him in place...

She lets his tongue slip and slide over her well-trimmed pussy, dragging those soft pussy lips around – gliding over the hood of her clit. She spreads her legs a little wider and angles her pelvis toward him to ensure he’s able to continue without any impediments. “Oooohhhh ... Why did I try to stop you? Oooohhh...”

She keeps watching him as he continues to lick ... Slopping his tongue over her again and again ... Slicing a wet path between her pussy lips, soaking her pink slot. The end of each stroke passing over her clit, sending shivers through her body, making her jerk and shiver. Arching her back and closing her eyes, letting his tongue overwhelm her.

Spreading her thighs wider, opening herself up, shivering, arching, tensing, sweating ... And then arching her back as the heat of her orgasm floods through her groin, up into her belly and chest – arching her back and shivering as it flows through her body ... She half cries out, but the sound catches in her throat as her eyes roll up into her skull...

She shakes and then collapses flat on her back, almost unconscious from the sheer intensity of the moment...

Cooper stops licking her pussy – seeing her almost knocked out, he seems to decide she needs to be revived, and stumbles up from between her legs to her head, where he starts to lick at her face, trying to bring her back ... But getting no reaction for the moment...

Cut to a few minutes later, Cooper has moved over to his owner now, and she is making a fuss of him, stroking the sides of his wide head and powerful neck, offering him little kisses of her own...

Our guest shuffles over the smooth boards on her knees, recovered from her orgasm and ready to go again – she moves up behind the dog, and as Jenna fusses with his head, she begins to stroke down his sides.

The American looks up at her, “All better now? Ready to have some more fun?”

Vanessa looks back at her and nods as she runs her hands down his sides and reaches down under him... “I think I’m ready for my next mistake...” – smirking as her hands slips over his belly and find his sheath, fingers around it, stroking against it – rubbing...

The muscular dog is in heaven – his mistress fussing over her head, giving him little kisses, laughing and smiling and making him feel good; the new bitch behind him stroking his heavy cock. Giving him those special feelings ... He knows he’s about to have some real fun now ... It almost looks like he’s smiling. His tail up and wagging infront of our girl...

She shuffles closer behind him, letting her pussy rub up against his rear end, trapping his tail over his back, her pussy pressing up against the base of the tail and his arse ... Bending forward to improve her reach – rubbing his dick, pinching the sheath between her fingers ... Looking at Jenna as she continues to kiss and rub the dog’s head. The girls sharing a moment as well as the dog.

“I can feel it getting hard...” She breaths.

Jenna looks up, smiling, and confirms, “Not long now ... You just keep doing that and he’ll let you know when he’s...” – before she can finish the line the dog pulls away from her, twisting around and pulling out from between the women, quickly moving around behind our host...

He rises up, his front paws on her back – trying to push her forward onto her hands ... Making her laugh... “No, you stupid mutt ... Go for the naked one ... Not meeee!” – she twists and grabs him, pulling him to the side, away from her, almost like she’s showing him our naked guest...

At the same time, Vanessa leans forward, assuming the classic four-point doggy position – two hands on the floor, wide, her arse pushed back, her big tits hanging down and swinging ... Cocking her head back and calling, “C’mon boy ... I’m right here...”

Jenna calls for her to turn around – and she begins to crawl around on the spot ... This movement alone is enough to alert the beast. Turning this way makes her arse wiggle, crawling makes her look more bitch-like to him ... And he makes a break from behind Jenna, to run around behind Vanessa...

He tries to mount her from the side, before he’s even behind her ... Clearly very excited and ready to get started ... But she shrugs him off, and continues to twist and turn, lining herself up with him as much as he lines himself up with her ... And then he’s up again, rising to plant his big paws on her behind, pushing forward over it, legs dropping down her sides...

She yelps, surprised, possibly hurt, but still sounding happy at the mount...

She leans forward a little more, dropping to one elbow and forearm, arching her back, and sticking her solid arse out toward him, then reaching back under her body, between her thighs ... She’s not wasting any time – she knows what she wants...

He keeps pushing forward ... His paws slipping on the floorboards ... The movement making her rock, her big boobs swinging under her as he finds the right position, all the way over her arse so that his big chest is resting on her back - and then he’s right into his thrusting flow ... Pumping his cock toward her pussy, the tip sticking out of his sheath by an inch, hard and pointed and ready to punch between her wet lips...

She’s not waiting for him to find the gap – raising that hand to spread herself open for him – giving him the easiest target any dog could ever want.

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“The United Kingdom of Zoo – Series 4, Episode 14: Kimberly” by Luke Ozvik Series 4, Episode 14: KIMBERLY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking down on a busy motorway – cars flying by at 70-80-90mph ... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old-fashioned English resort town ... Finally, we’re in a quiet, narrow residential street, late at night, outside a traditional English pub. White walls and black...

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e18 Rachael

Series 4, Episode 18: RACHAEL We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... A large sewage treatment plant. A mini montage of big circular pools of household waste, being chewed up and cleaned by large rotating mechanical arms ... It looks like it smells terrible. The occasional member of staff, checking equipment, wearing full overalls...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11 E06 Lucinda Glass 46 from Middlesbrough

We start this week’s show with establishing footage from our drone camera as it flies over a large area of well-appointed parkland – bowling greens, rows of trees in large curves, recently mown lawns, a children’s play park, over a small lake, more trees and then down to the neat semi-detached houses beyond... Dropping all the way down to street level, bringing our host into view – a white speck on the pavement at first, then as we get closer – a nicer, more attractive speck ... Closer...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E01 Christina Bruce 42 from Belfast

With series 12 completed, we roll straight through into series 13 - the same hosts, doing the same things all over again ... Aren’t we getting bored of this yet? Well, it appears not ... So... We start this week’s show with establishing shots of quiet suburban streets – semi-detached homes, very middle class and safe... And then, stepping into frame from the side, moving from behind the camera to infront - this week’s host ... Still the nation’s least likely sex symbol – short, fat,...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e16 Ava Marvaux 22

from Tottenham, London. We fade in on our hostess, Charley. She’s skirting that territory between sexy and strange. With her heavily botoxed face, obviously fake bolt-on boobs, and all those tattoos on her chest, her legs, her arms ... All wrapped up in too-small clothes, showing off as much flesh as possible – mini-skirt, sleeveless low-cut top. She’s strange, but she’s ours... We’re on a wide grey street, black fences on either side, nothing beyond them on one side, a blue storage...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e19 Belinda

Series 4, Episode 19: Belinda We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... We’re in an unimpressive residential area. Lots of orange/brown two story terraced houses that probably looked very modern and sharp in the early 80s, but now just look boring. An occasional resident walks along the street alone, a couple of cars pass by –...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e5 Julia Green 56

We fade in on high street – plenty of people around, obviously not during the Coronavirus lockdown. The camera swings around to face a bank, then moves in through the doors – past a member of staff on the front desk who waves at whoever is holding the camera (clearly knowing them) ... The camera moves past a line of customers and up to one of the cash windows ... The clerk behind the window looks up... She’s middle-aged, with a tired, almost ‘loose’ looking face – one of those big mouths...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e20 Tina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re looking at a sandy beach on a perfect summer’s day – small waves rolling...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e7 Siobhan

Series 4, Episode 7: SIOBHAN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re in the middle of a busy food-court - restaurants...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e1 Sammy Murty

We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e18 Sylvia Distin 55 from Chelmsford

We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

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