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The Yankee Belle By Anon Allsop I was captured last week near the city of Beaver Falls, Tennessee. It almost seemed that the whole damned Reb army had wheeled on themselves and swarmed our unit from both sides. We gave them hell for awhile, but those Confederates were on us so fast that most of us only got off one shot. By the time the smoke had cleared, 156 of our unit had been killed and 16 of us captured. The first thing they did was to take our rifles and shoes, passing them out to their own soldiers, leaving us barefoot and unarmed. Then they made us march for four whole days while they rode on wagons and horseback, so by the end of the third day, most of us were limping badly from blisters and sores on our numb, frozen feet. Yesterday, they shot our Captain, who had broken his leg during the battle and couldn't stand anymore. They just pulled the trigger on him like he was some filthy varmint digging in a trash pile... like he was nothing more than a gopher. They made us all step across his dead body, and then laughed, leaving him lying there on the road. I knew that not all Rebs were that way, but this unit was run by a Major Fieldhouse, one of the most ruthless and feared Rebs in this territory. They never tied us up, mostly because we all knew if we tried to make a break for it, we would most likely be shot dead before we could get off the road. To not do anything was beyond me, and I couldn't stand it! I was 16 and heading off to some Reb prison to most likely die of some disease or sickness. I knew if I had any hope it would be by escaping from them, and if they shot me for trying... at least I would still be getting away, albeit because of my death. Our captors had us halt near a tree-lined stream, and Fieldhouse sent a few of his men to scout for any hidden traps. When they returned, the 'all clear' was given and we were ushered forward toward a little covered bridge that spanned the swiftly moving river. I glanced quickly along both banks of the river, and I noticed that trees lined each curving bank. Even before I dwelled on it too much, I ducked quickly under one of the wagons and easily slipped between the rolling wheels. My freezing feet ached from the icy snow along the road's edge. With only a hesitant glance backward I began my rapid decent down the steep bank, but with shouts, the Rebs were quickly on my trail. A bullet tore through my shirt as I slid down the snow-covered riverbank, and only a mere twenty feet separated me from my would-be captors! But I couldn't think about it; as soon as my blistered feet touched the icy waters I winced and slid under its rapidly moving surface. I struck out with powerful strokes, using the current to propel me down the aggressively moving river, increasing the distance from those who wanted me dead. The swift, frigid water pulled me along, unseen branches tearing at my legs and arms as I passed. For a moment I surfaced for air, only to have a musket ball smack the water near my head... too close for comfort! I gulped a huge amount of air and submerged, again striking out away as quickly as I could from the gray-clad soldiers. Another ball spun into the water, its path outlined by the bubbles pointing its wake. I doubled my speed and headed for the bottom, and I saw that there was a huge pile of brush and twisted branches directly ahead of me. I found a slight opening and headed for it, knowing that to surface now would mean instant death. I also knew that if there wasn't an opening for me to pass through, this would undoubtedly be my grave. I turned sideways to wiggle through the opening and pushed myself on into the darkened tangle of twigs, my lungs bursting with need. I could swim no further, the way was blocked by more branches... this would be my tomb. I did the only thing I could, heading for the surface. My only hope was to be imprisoned again, hopefully serving out the remainder of the war in some remote prison camp... if they let me live. When I surfaced, the splashing sound echoed in my ears... an unusual sound than what I was expecting. I slowly opened my eyes, expecting to be surrounded by the Confederate soldiers with their guns drawn on me. Slowly I turned my head to look around, and saw I had surfaced inside a beaver dam! I swallowed hard and listened, their voices muffled but close. They stood nearby and discussed where I went. "He ain't surfaced yet..." one of them shouted. From a bit further away I could hear, "Can't no one hold their breath that long! I think the Yank fool drowned!" The one directly above shouted back laughing, "He'll surface sometime... maybe next Spring!" I could hear splashing as another walked toward the fellow above me. "Better to drown here than what we were going to do to him!" I heard him growl and spit, they were close enough that I could smell the Mint in the tobacco he chewed. In the dim light, I was silently praying that they would soon leave. It was all I could do to keep my teeth from chattering uncontrollably. My breath was drifting up in icy plumes, so I buried my face into my shoulder in an attempt to diffuse the frosty vapor that I was expelling. The one above me shouted out to his fellow soldiers, "Come on boys, he drowned... ain't no use in searching for him." I held my breath as their sound slowly moved away. "Serves that no account Yankee right, drowning like he did!" Another soldier shot back, "He was only doing what we would have done in his situation. Besides, nobody deserves to die like that... sucking in water till they sink." The first laughed and snorted, "A good Yank...is a dead Yank!" From a distance one of them called to the men searching for me, "Come on fellas, we best be high tailing it out of here! Scouts have just come in and said there was a big battle around here just yesterday and there might be some Yanks close by. Major says to forget about the kid and don't waste time looking for a body...." His voice was getting harder and harder to hear with them walking away. I exhaled deeply; the news I had heard was like music to my ears! I sat shivering, trying to pull myself out of the icy water. After some effort, I was able to lie lengthways on a make-shift ledge and slowly dry out. Sleep claimed my over-exerted body and when I opened my eyes again my tomb was entirely void of light. My clothes had become frozen into their position and I felt that unless I got in some warmth soon... I would die! I began to push on the top of the dam, and slowly the twisted twigs snapped and bent under my pressure. I hesitated in the darkness, wondering if the builder was scared away by my presence or if it was somewhere deep inside the twisted mass of limbs, sleeping away his cold winter. I again pushed against the roof, feeling it give under my efforts as mud cascaded upon my frozen hair. I stopped short when I could see the light from the moon bathe the interior of my hiding place, above me the stars twinkled their welcome. Slowly I raised up my head and surveyed the surroundings, but nothing moved as far as my eyes could see. I struggled through the limbs and scrambled up the snow-covered surface using the roots and hanging branches to pull myself back to the river's ice-crusted edge. I lay panting in the freshly fallen snow, hands and feet numb beyond belief. Realizing that to stay there would result in my death, I stumbled onward following the path of the recent battle's destruction. Soon enough, I came across the first dead soldier covered with a light dusting of snow. I said a prayer for him and pulled the shoes and socks from his feet. Only a few yards from him lay his rifle. With numb fingers I picked it up and leaned it against a tree. I bent down and pulled the soldier's utility belt from his waist, once I was assured that it still contained the lead balls, patches and powder. I tossed my wet clothes to the side and quickly donned the unfortunate soldier's uniform on. "At least it's dry..." I murmured, looking down at the dried blood from his wound, at its center was a large round hole the size of my thumb. I heard a clink of metal, somewhere in the darkness ahead. I slowly moved forward in a half crouch, keeping as low as possible from view. The moonlight was creating shadows against the snow, my breath trembling from the chill. I slowly peeked around the great expanse of a tree, there before me was a fire. I waited until I saw a figure approach it, throwing sticks on to build it back into a dancing fury. I studied the soldier, his gun only feet from his grasp... my mind could almost make out a dark blue. I closed my eyes in prayer and cleared my throat. "Hello the Camp!" I kept behind my tree, hoping they wouldn't fire into the darkness. "Who's there?" came back the reply. I noticed that the soldier had quickly snatched up his rifle and moved away from the light of the fire. "Private Jeremy Sands of the 51st Indiana." I waited in the darkness. "What company are you with?" I called out after a great pause. "17th Massachusetts." He slowly moved toward the fire carrying his rifle in readiness to shoot. "You just come on in here real slow... hold your rifle above your head." I took a step out from the confines of my tree, holding the rifle high. "Steady, boys... it's a Yank," he whispered to his fellow soldiers. I looked around me into the darkness, there had to be 50 men hidden... all with their rifles trained on me. Slowly they relaxed as my clothing came into view, then one quickly brought his rifle back up pointing it at my head. "Sergeant, he's wearing our Insignia!" The grizzled Sergeant looked at me from under his hat, his moustache so long that I couldn't see him speak. "Explain yourself, boy, afore I have him shoot your skinny ass!" "I found the clothes back there a piece, I was cold and wet from the river." "I took the rifle from another soldier," I continued, "the fellow was killed... I figured he didn't need the dry clothes anymore." I kept my hands raised toward the heavens as I replied. He turned toward a man just off to my right. "Check it out, Charley." I heard him scamper away. "You'd better hope your story pans out." The other man came running back into the light, "Here, Sarge. I found these laying next to Private Rollings." He handed my frozen clothes to his Sergeant. The bearded Sergeant rolled them in his hands. "He's a Yank all right... let him come in by the fire and warm up." I nodded my thanks and crouched by the flames. "Get him something to eat," the Sergeant called out to a black cook on his left, who nodded and disappeared from view. "You get separated from your unit?" He eyed me with his cold blue gaze. I nodded. "Rebs hit us while we was sleeping, I don't know who got away." The cook came back and handed me a pan of goo, to the side was a biscuit. "Thanks! I appreciate that." I took a big bite of the hard biscuit, then pushed around the soupy goo with the remainder. "It ain't much...but it's the best we got." The cook smiled and brushed his hands against his pants. I looked at him and smiled, then turned toward the Sergeant. "I guess I'll be joining with you until I can find my own outfit... if that's okay?" I took another bite of the runny slop. At least it was hot. "That'll be fine. Take a spot in the trench, we'll be going at it soon enough!" I gave him a questioning look, so he continued, "Rebs are just inside the woods yonder, we're fixing to hit them at first light." He sighed and looked across the field, where I could just make out several small fires like the one I sat beside. He folded his arms. "Hell is, crossing that field... we'll be like sitting ducks." He sadly shook his head and walked into the darkness. As soon as I finished eating, I was shown my 'place in the trench'. Here I would wait out the morning and the battle that was sure to come. ****** From my trench I could hear the big boom of the cannon as it hurled death from a great distance toward our line. Fear gripped my throat as I tried to swallow. Even in this early morning light, I could see the smoke drifting from the woods where the Rebs were firing at our position. From side to side I looked into the eyes of those solders around me, each deep in his own thoughts of loved ones and home. Some of the old men had fire in their eyes as they readied themselves for a charge once our Sergeant barked the order. The very young were cowering in fear as they waited for the call. I was among these young men trembling in the icy mud of our trench. I was soaked as the melting snow seeped into my boots leaving my socks perpetually wet. The temperature had warmed during the night, causing great patches of snow to melt and grass to become visible in areas now open from the unseasonable warmth. I tugged the cap down further onto my head, but its protection offered no comfort to my trembling body and soul. As if to mock us, it began drizzling. A slight southern wind had warmed the air just enough to keep it from turning to snow, however, it made the conditions even more miserable by creating a damp ever- penetrating fog. As the morning progressed, so did the drizzle. At first it had been like a damp fog, then gradually, it became an outright rain. I looked up into the droplets as they continued to plummet into the puddle at my feet, and I watched the Sergeant wipe the water from his long bushy beard. From the distance we could hear the crack of the big 54's and 58's. Once in a while, when I would get the nerve up to look over the edge, I could see the Rebel battle flag unfurled and waving in the cold late November breeze. Early morning arrived, and each army faced one another in the cold rain. A low fog was beginning to settle into the lowlands as the sun tried to fight its way through the clouds. It was true... that in the early morning it is actually colder once the sun begins to rise, and sitting there covered with rain made it worse then ever. My teeth began to chatter when the order finally came in the form of a dull roar swelling within our ranks until it reached our position. The roar was from the eager solders shouting their willingness to finally be anywhere other than in that wet trench, but I wasn't so sure. As we struggled out of the slippery earthen ditch, the sun burst through the clouds, promising for it to be a bright morning. The fellow to my immediate right collapsed back into the trench as a slug slammed into his chest. I trembled as I watched him come to a rest, his blood coloring the muddy puddle that he fell into. I wasn't sure if I was shaking from the fear of that happening to me, or from the chill of being wet. A rifle ball struck the stock of the .58 caliber gun that I carried, exploding the wood into a hundred pieces. The sheer force propelled me into the trench where I landed next to the unlucky man whom I had been watching. I scrambled to my feet in horror as I quickly tried to put distance between the dead man and myself. As I was searching for a foothold on the muddy banks of the trench, another soldier fell back into what was suddenly becoming a mass grave. Screaming I grabbed hold of anything that I could reach in an effort to pull me to something solid. I had lost my cap in the bloody water when I first fell, and now my gun had been rendered useless. Never before in my 16 years had I ever experienced anything so terrifying in my whole life! This was worse then the battle when I had been captured, making that first one seem like a mere skirmish! As I finally reached the flat, muddy ground I was out of breath with fear, for nowhere to be seen were those who had waited out deaths with me in this trench! Ahead of me I could see the field strewn with the dead and dying soldiers as Union blue soldiers were pushing the Rebs backwards into the brush and trees. I pulled myself to my feet and searched around for a gun...any gun. Gathering another .58 caliber into my grimy mud-covered hands, I winced as I lifted it from a dead solder. Trembling, I loaded it and started into a dead run for the tree line that my side had advanced upon. As I crossed the muddy grass and earthen field, I heard the soft thud of slugs hitting the ground around my feet. Adrenaline and fear caused me to race into the unknown, with the woods being my goal. I could feel the tug of a lead ball passing through my pant leg as I reached the woods where I had last seen the Union solders entering. Tears were cutting the soil that covered my cheeks as I sought safety behind a fallen tree. All about me were littered the bodies of both Confederate and Union soldiers alike; most were dead, but some still clung desperately onto life. My hair had become pasted to my head from the wet morning, so I pushed it out of my sight and tried to compose myself into another attempt to reach my company. Choking smoke from the recent battle clouded my vision, and the acrid smell of powder burned at my nostrils. I was already sick and tired of the sights and smells of war! Into the bluish-gray cloud I scanned for any sign of my fellow solders. I saw movement and rolled into a kneeling position behind my tree. The man stumbled toward me softly calling out someone's name, as if he were looking for that person. I held my ground and with trembling hand I drew back the hammer from the long .58 caliber, waiting to see if he was a friend or foe... It was a Reb! We couldn't have been more than 25 yards apart as our eyes locked upon one another. I quickly sighted my gun as I watched in horror as he raised his gun toward me. We fired simultaneously. I waited for a moment as the thick plume of smoke dissipated, it was apparent that he did likewise as we remained where we were, waiting for one or both of us to fall. After only a moment, we realized that the mortal blow that we each expected had not materialized, and both our shots had missed horribly. In a panic, we rapidly began to reload our weapons. As we nervously readied our guns, each of us took a moment from time to time, to check out how the other was progressing. I guessed that he was close to my age but with the dirt and filth, I didn't know for sure. I finished just ahead of him and raised my rifle to aim. I looked into his tear-filled eyes as he realized that I had beaten him loading our messengers of death. As I hesitated, he began to frantically finish loading the big gun he was holding. No 16 year-old should ever have to do what I did at that moment; his eyes briefly met mine and he began to raise his gun in my direction. My borrowed weapon barked with fury as through the smoke, his gun fell and he spun violently backwards to the soft carpet of the damp woods. I stood there crying, muddy tears streaming down my young cheeks. I watched the young man struggle once to rise, then fell onto his back ceasing to breathe, the life slowly ease from the youth eyes. I stared down at the weapon in my hands and slowly let it drop onto the damp slushy ground beneath my feet. I had just broken a commandment... I had taken a life. My grandmother would have rolled in her grave if she could have seen what I had just done. The gaping hole that the slug left in the boy was visible to me, steam slowly rising from the mortal wound. I stepped across the log and moved to his side, his eyes seemed to follow my movement as I approached. But I knew that was impossible, and he was dead. I sat and stared into his dead eyes and continually wiped tears as they rolled down my cheeks. His cold stare seemed to haunt me as its gaze bore into my very soul. I dropped to my knees, closed my eyes and said a silent prayer for this young solder who died by my hands, but it helped me feel only a bit better. I crawled over to his lifeless form and using my hand I lowered his eyelids from their haunting stare. I could feel my throat tighten with emotion as my hand came into contact with his warm skin; never before had I witnessed the results of my actions on the battlefield... now, I knew that I would never forget. Most of the day passed quickly, before I could prod myself into moving. Still in a horrified shock, I buried him in a shallow grave and using a chunk of bark from a tree scratched these words: "Here lies a young Reb killed by me... God, please forgive me for what I have done." I fell against a tree, staring into the fresh mound of earth that had become his grave, and remained there until night began to fall... I wearily set out away from the dead boy. I gathered up my gun and began to plod deeper into the woods away from the grave, until I came to a wide river and turned west away from the rising sun. I could see that I was headed in the right direction, the ruts from the cannons being pulled through the soft earth and the bodies littered the ground from both Union and Confederate alike. A huge battle must have taken place here earlier today. I followed the river well into the evening, and I only paused long enough to get a drink and eat a bit of jerky the black cook had given me. I figured that it would only be about an hour or so before I would catch up with my company. Using the stars, I kept the North Star in sight and kept moving into the inky darkness. Finally until utter exhaustion overcame me, I collapsed into a heap under a great willow tree. I smiled inwardly as I fondly remembered a tree just like this one, growing next to the river near my home in Indiana. Slowly I let sleep overtake me and closed my eyes listening to the gentle night breeze rustle the overhanging dry leaves. ****** Voices woke me in the freezing pre-dawn morning, so I scrambled to my feet using the great span of the willow's trunk to keep me hidden until I could discover who was speaking. The male voices that I heard were using thick southern accents, so I kept low and circled around to a dense bush for cover. It was a small party of Reb solders moving toward me in a single line. I eased myself back over the bank of the icy river and hung on to a sapling in my effort to stay concealed. The water was frigid as it crushed the wind from my lungs with an icy grip. I shook from chill as I hung onto the small tree, afraid that they would hear my teeth chattering. As I flattened myself against the bank I watched one gray clad solder stood at the edge and relieved himself only a few yards from me. I redoubled my effort to maintain a grasp on the young tree in the icy water... I could feel my grip slipping. Suddenly as if the river itself pried my numb fingers away, I began to be pulled downstream! I did the only thing I could and lay face down, praying that they would think I was dead and leave me pass. I held my breath waiting for the stab of hot lead to bury itself deep into my exposed back. Evidently I was a pretty good actor, because they did nothing, either they didn't see me or ignored me completely. Whatever the reason, I was alive... cold and wet, but alive. I held my breath as long as I possibly could, my lungs burning with fire as they sought the fresh clean air of the surface. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I rose and filled my lungs full with life giving air. Spinning around I scanned the banks looking for the Confederate soldiers, but they were nowhere to be seen. I tried to strike out for the river-bank but the swift current was pulling me along in its icy path, and I was its prisoner! Faster and faster I raced along, sometimes striking rocks or boulders strewn along the bottom. Once, I momentarily wrapped my arm around a log but my force dislodged it from the hold it had on the bottom and it too was propelled down the swift, icy river. At one point during my seemingly endless trip, I was able to force myself away from the log and suddenly found my feet able to touch the bottom. That success was short-lived as I slipped and became disoriented under the surface. Again I found myself an unwilling passenger in this icy river, beside me floated the slowly rotating log! Slowly my strength was being ebbed from my body, I tried one last time to push myself away from the log. With all the strength I could muster I shoved against it with both feet and prayed. If I was unsuccessful, I would die alone in this icy watery grave. My head struck a rock and pain throbbed from my swollen temple, but I fought along in the current as blood began to pulse down from my brow. Somehow my arms came into contact with roots along the edge and I held on for dear life until I was able to pull my feet up underneath me. Struggling with what energy I had left, I pried myself from my watery grave. ****** It was dark when I regained consciousness; the air was still and very cold. My breath floated from my mouth in feathery plumes. I felt chilled and in pain, my body aching from the beating I took in the river. My whole body again shivered from being both wet and cold. Somehow during my watery trip down the river I had lost a shoe, my jacket and the rifle. God only knows where...probably somewhere along the bank where I met up with those Rebs. What was left of my clothes had become torn and ragged, and were almost worthless in their present state. Slowly, I pulled myself onto my hands and knees, my body racked with pain and numbness. I crawled toward a tree and using the low branches, pulled myself into a standing position. I could hear a dog nearby barking, its voice echoing in the quiet evening. I knew I desperately needed to rest somewhere dry and warm, or I would die. I struggled through the darkness using the trees to help me walk with the pain and ache that I was feeling. I figured to stay near the river to have the best chance of finding some type of refuge. Slowly I picked my way until I heard horses. Peering through the foliage, I could see a house with soft light coming from a few windows. I paused and continued to watch for movement; I didn't have long to wait. A middle-aged white woman followed a short man to his waiting buggy, and with her were a large black slave woman and a skinny black man holding the horses to keep them calm. With them, a smartly dressed man quietly entered his buggy. From the bag the dark suited man was carrying, I sensed he was a doctor. I could just make out their conversation as he settled on the leather seat. "My poor daughter is so ill, Doctor! Isn't there anything you can give her?" The older woman sobbed softly. He sadly shook his head as if saying no. "Ma'am, with this damned war, all my supplies have been depleted. I've given you some powders to help her sleep, but that's all I can really do. With what she's been through, it's only a matter of time." From the look on the smaller woman's face, it looked as though the hardened doctor had slapped her. He saw it too and quickly looked down toward his feet. "Ma'am, if there was anything at all that I felt I could do... you know I would." His tired eyes shifted to the large black slave woman who was scowling at his callousness. The distraught woman held the seat of the buggy tightly, as if to keep the doctor from leaving. With a sad nod and a pat on the gray-haired woman's hand, he took the reins from the skinny black man. "You just need to understand ma'am, Sarah won't be able to survive both this illness of hers, and pregnancy too. It would be a miracle if she were able to recover enough to last out this week. If only the child she was carrying were older, we could remove it with surgery. Unfortunately, I have never heard of any child living after being removed from a womb at only a few months." The rotund black slave woman scowled again at the doctor's cold comment. "Some friend you is... telling her a thing like that, knowing how she's hurting inside!" She hugged the crying woman. "You go on and get yourself outa here!" She waved a portly arm in the doctor's direction. The doctor tugged at his white whiskers and smiled sadly at the large slave. "I know you'll take good care of her, Keeza... if that's the only thing you do." The black matron nodded. Smiling weakly at her, he snapped the reins and pulled his buggy away from the steps. I studied the little group as they stood sadly waiting while the doctor drove down the long lane of the plantation. They watched, until the darkness enveloped both him and his buggy. I glanced back toward them and noticed that the skinny man was suddenly gone, leaving only the crying white woman and the large black female. I raised up a bit to scan the area around me in an effort to figure out where the scrawny man went. I couldn't see him, so instead, I concentrated on the figures before me and quietly sunk back into the darkened bushes. The chubby slave directed the older woman back toward the house talking quietly with her as they walked. "Keeza will speak with Miss Lilly, she'll know what to do. We should've done that in the first place instead of fetching that old doctor know-nothing from town." She looked back toward where the skinny slave had been standing. "Now where the heck did you run off to?" She paused and started searching for him with her eyes. "I hates it when you do that to me!" I crouched down in an effort to conceal myself better, leaning into the darkened foliage of the hedge. I looked toward the barn and decided that I could move within the shadows there, making my way around toward the back. I slipped away from my hiding spot and started toward the building; fearing surprise I cautiously made my way to the door. I moved slowly, as I had been trained to do in a hostile area. My ears were in tune to every movement, each step was calculated and as silent as possible. I inched my way closer to the door. I had the uneasy feeling of being watched, but I needed the rest that the barn would soon provide. It had taken me almost a half-hour to pick my way through the darkness, but still the unease I was feeling was prominent. Suddenly my fears were confirmed when I heard a slight movement in the shadows to my immediate right! I hesitated in the darkness and felt my heart race. Panic surged into my brain... I wheeled and tried to run but a quick flash and sharp stab of pain in my back left me no doubt that I was not alone. The terrible impact caused me to be violently propelled to my knees, my lungs gasping desperately for air. I knew instantly, that I had been shot in the back... the lead ball passed entirely through and exited high on my chest. Coughing, I grasped at the pain only to pull my hand away and reveal blood soaked fingers. Steam slowly rose from my darkened fingertips and chest. I struggled to stand, only to fall forward again onto my face. I laid where I fell, watching the blades of grass vibrate from my frosty breath in the cool fall night. My breathing was becoming raspy and labored, with little flecks of white foam appearing on the grass before me. I had been fatally wounded, I knew that I was dying. I had come all the way from Indiana, fought and survived through two horrendous battles, and I was about to die somewhere on a Southern plantation and not in the war as I had feared. Death doesn't care, it will get you wherever and whenever it wants. If it's your time, it will find you. My vision became cloudy as I sensed movement of several individuals directly next to me, and slowly the sounds of those people became echoes within my mind. I felt my eyes dim and begin to close in anticipation of the peaceful sleep of death. ****** The withered black woman stood over the lifeless body of the young female lying as if she were only sleeping, sadly shaking her head. "It's too bad you didn't call me sooner, I can do nothing for her now... her soul is almost gone." It had only been a moment since she had taken her last breath, but that moment seemed a lifetime to her weeping family. Keeza moved over to comfort a grieving female who had thrown herself across the dead woman, and she gently raised the sobbing woman to her feet and rocked her tenderly in her ample bosom. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Penny...so sorry." The room fell silent as each person grieved in their own way, and only the sounds of quiet sobbing broke that silence. Suddenly, a shot rang out in the quiet evening, causing them to rush toward the closed window. In the little bit of light that dappled across the yard from the large moon, they saw a youthful form slowly crumple toward the ground as others gathered around his form. Quickly the old wrinkled black woman threw open the window. "Hey, there... what has happened?" "Caught him snooping around... he's a Yank solder!" He stepped closer to the form and turned his face back toward the window. "He's a youngin at that!" The old woman looked toward Keeza. "Take Mrs. Penny out of here, she don't need to see this on top of what has happened to her and her family!" Keeza nodded and took the crying woman out of the room, she apparently hadn't even noticed the commotion outside. "Is he dead?" called the wrinkled woman to the figures below. "Not yet... but soon will be." He crouched down next to the dying boy. "Got him in the lung!" Keeza walked back into the room. "I laid Mrs. Penny down... she is just beside herself with grief." Nearing the window she looked at the old woman and pointed. "What's going on down there?" The grizzled black slave woman smiled at Keeza, patting her flabby arm. "There may just be a ray of hope yet!" She turned back toward the figures below. "Bring the boy up here... and hurry!" Quickly she hurried out of the room. It only took a moment for two black slaves to hurry up the stairs with the pale form of the bleeding boy. "He just closed his eyes...but he still be breathing...even though it's slow!" They placed him on a bureau that was used to write letters, and Keeza used one arm to quickly sweep its contents to the floor. The skinny slave spoke to the two woman. "Ain't gonna do no good, no how...he has a hole clean through his chest to the other side. He gonna die." The rotund woman glared at the tall black causing him to quickly turn and scurry out of the room followed closely by his companion. After several tense minutes, from down the hallway limped the old woman, using a hand- hewn cane for support. Slowly she pulled a glass sphere from her pocket. "What is that for, Miss Lilly?" Keeza asked. "This glass globe was called the Choonta Kune. Long, long ago, here it is known as 'The Sphere of Life', I have a hunch that it may help us. Only time will tell, though." She bent down to the boy and placed the globe on his chest. Closing her eyes, she began to chant in a long forgotten language that sounded more like a song than anything. Keeza stood there watching the young man's breathing becoming even more shallow with each passing moment, until it finally stopped altogether. "Looks like he dead, Miss Lilly." Keeza said sadly. She had already seen much more death this day than she wanted. "Only in body, child... look." The old woman pointed toward the globe which had started glowing. The two black women watched as the glass globe began to glow with bright colors, seemingly as if it had a life of its own. The colors became brighter as the young man's breath slowly left his body in one great sigh. "Now if this works..." She began to look around for something to pick the globe up with. Keeza moved in to pick up the sphere but the old woman stopped her hand. "We must be careful not to touch the surface." Keeza didn't ask why, she knew not to question Miss Lilly on matters of the supernatural. Lilly maneuvered the glass ball into a small, empty wooden drawer, using a long letter opener she had picked up from the floor. Once Miss Lilly had removed it from the young boy, she handed it to Keeza and slowly walked out of the room and down the hallway. "Where are we taking that little ball, Miss Lilly?" She had to practically run to keep up with the old woman who was hobbling along on her cane. Keeza pulled up short as Miss Lilly entered the bedroom where they had just laid the dead body of their dear, sweet Sarah. She covered her gaping mouth with her hand as she watched Miss Lilly take the box from her chubby fingers. The old woman bent low over the prone form before her, then rolled the glass globe from the box and onto the chest of the beautiful female. Her pert youthful breasts kept the sphere from rolling off. Lilly began to chant; as she did the colors began to fade from the glass sphere, until it appeared as it had first been... just a clear glass globe. Lilly turned toward Keeza and motioned for her to come closer. "The sphere is an ancient tool passed from generation to generation within my family. Only the womenfolk have the ability to use it, but it will seep the life from a dying person and breath it into the body of the freshly dead. But, neither can be of the same body." Keeza's eyes grew wider as she listened. "Sarah will extract the life force from the dead Yankee boy and she will live again. His soul will drift off toward its intended destination, whether it be heaven or hell." She smiled as she watched Keeza's expression. "Sarah should be back to her normal self in a few weeks... still able to carry the child that is growing inside of her." "What happens if Sarah is gone forever... and the boy's soul is stuck in her body?" Keeza spoke with insight surprising the old African. "I hadn't thought of that... if it does happen, we will have a very confused young ma..er...lady on our hands." The two stood and stared at the figure of the young woman. Keeza wasn't sure what to think, for Miss Sarah was like a daughter to her. Her pregnancy and illness played so heavily on the small family since her father had been reported killed during a recent battle, and her young husband off fighting somewhere. She knew that Ethan would be devastated if word got to him of Sarah's death. On one hand, the soldier-boy died and had no need for his soul anymore. On the other hand, Sarah might possibly live, if his soul could be siphoned off and used as fuel to bring her soul to life. Keeza was confused by all that was happening and sighed heavily as the old woman began to pull on her arm in an effort to herd her to the door. "What of her illness?" Keeza asked, pointing out her young charges' obvious reason for death. The elderly black leaned against her cane and smiled. "The sphere will cleanse her body, her illness will be of no effect." "Why then didn't we use it on her long ago?" Keeza wrung her hands with worry as she fretted over the young beauty. "The sphere can only be used when the soul begins its journey. She wasn't yet dead, there was still a slim hope for her." She frowned sadly as she studied the prone young woman. Slowly the old woman drew the door closed. "Now we just wait... If we're lucky, you will have your dear Sarah by morning." She paused at the door of Mrs. Penny, pointing with her cane to indicate the older white woman who inhabited the room. "Hopefully, she will have her daughter back as well..." ****** Fleeting sounds were muffled in my ear as I felt my soul begin to drift from my body, slowly I could feel myself rise toward the heavens. I felt nothing but an inner peace as I drew my last shallow breath. I began to see brilliant hues of blue and green swirl about me, each mixing and glowing with a soft inner light. I could sense an expectation of what it would be like in heaven with the beautiful display before my eyes, I was sad to die, I did not want to die. At 16, I had thought that I had much more of my life ahead of me...now, nothing. I really didn't feel pain from the wound, only sadness knowing that this slug was putting an end to all of my dreams and wishes. Dreams of a family, children, a quiet home that I could call my own, growing old with those I love. Gone. All gone. All of this taken by a lurking figure in the dark, my young life cut short by a sniper's bullet. Slowly an unearthly feeling began to grip at my soul, I could go no further than the beautiful colors could go...was this me? Were these the colors of my soul? I could hear voices but was unable to make anything that was said...were they the voices of my past? Or were they voices of those dead, gone long before me? Again I felt as if I were being pulled back toward earth, for a moment...and only a moment. I brushed against another lost soul brightly lit with color. This soul was at peace and not feeling the turmoil that I was experiencing. I could almost make out a face...a female face. She was beautiful and young like me. She was concerned, her angst enveloped me as a shroud. I could sense that she was leaving those she loved behind, but not confident in their happiness. The whole situation left me uneasy. I wasn't sure why, but I felt that I had something to do with her concern. Suddenly the beautiful peace was disappearing, as a fog was slowly being lifted from my mind. I watched the colors fade before my eyes with each passing moment. Gone was the feeling of peacefulness and contentment that I had been feeling... worry and sentiment began to wash over me. I felt myself breathe again, slowly drinking in the life-giving oxygen deep into my lungs. I felt soft covers gently laying against my body, and cool sheets below me as well. I listened to the birds chirping outside a window; somehow I had not died, I was alive, I had survived! I moved a hand to my rib where the slug had exited, feeling for the pain of the wound. I could feel nothing... no wound, bandage... nothing! Maybe I was indeed dead and this was my heavenly body waking from its long earthly nap. I tried to force my eyes to open and was rewarded with bright sunlight bathing my sleepy eyes with its beauty. I never thought I would see the sun again... 'God, it was so beautiful!' I thought. My eyes fluttered open a few times in an effort to make themselves used to the brilliant light streaming in on them. I slowly looked around the room, moving only my eyes. I could see a faint haze above my vision, and to a smaller effect below. It wasn't too distracting but, then again... troubling. It was almost like trying to focus on something very, very close to my eye. I rubbed my eyes using the back of my hand, it didn't seem to help. Whatever it was, wasn't clearing up. The room screamed of wealth, with its rich polished woods and high ceilings. The bed I was lying on had four heavy posts with a gauzy material draped on each end fastened by a colorful lacy ribbon. Slowly I moved my head to the side and studied a portrait on a stand next to the bed. It was a handsome young man dressed in a Confederate Cavalry Uniform. He was sitting with his saber tip resting on the ground and his strong hand on the hilt. He didn't appear to be much older than I was, I guessed at maybe 18. He cut quite a dashing image, with his polished buttons and ornate needlework around each button-hole. Movement caught my eye as a large black woman entered the room was in. I tried to say something but I couldn't form the words, my mouth felt as if it were full of cotton. She turned and jumped as she became aware that I was watching her. An almost inaudible gasp escaped her lips forcing her hand to quickly move to her mouth. She spun around and lifting her dress darted out of the room and down the hallway. I could hear her shouting as she ran down the stairs and across the lawn at the top of her lungs, however, I couldn't make out a thing she had said in her excitement. Closing my eyes I decided that I should rest some more... I had done nothing this day but I was extremely tired. I allowed my mind to drift off again and sleep. Again I found myself on the battlefield, a glowing white cloud silently hovering over the dead and dying soldiers. I was drawn to a body that I knew as my own, lying face down on the ground. As I rolled him over I was shocked to see that it wasn't me... but a girl, a very beautiful girl. The cap fell from her head as she settled onto her back, and volumes of lush blonde ringlets fell about her face and against the ground she was laying on. I knelt closer, my vision locking upon her eyes now closed in death. Suddenly they opened with a start, my position changed and I found myself looking into the ghostly form of an angel as it hovered above me. My body jerked, and I found myself racing away from my dream with the speed of lightning! ****** For what seemed like days I drifted in and out of sleep; each time I opened my eyes they would be rewarded by that slight haze silently distorting my vision. I also had visitors from time to time. At first it was the large black woman accompanied by a frail old black woman who was well-wrinkled and bent. At other times an older white woman would just hold me in a long embrace, and she would stroke my hair while applying a cool washcloth to my forehead. She was the figure who seemed to bring me so much comfort. She doted over me in a most motherly fashion that was pleasant and caring, and I found myself eagerly waiting her appearances. Even though I could hear what they were saying to me, I was so out of sorts that I couldn't comprehend much of what was said. Only the woman would talk, even while she was feeding my soup from a spoon. All the while, her melodious tone would continue to massage my mind and caress my soul. On one particular morning, I heard the white woman addressing the older black slave out in the hallway. "What ever can the matter be, Lilly? She doesn't even acknowledge me... her own mother. Could what happened have affected her mind so?" Her voice trembled with emotion almost as if she were about to cry. The old woman spoke taping her cane against the wooden floor. "It will take time, Mrs. Penny. She had died, but now lives... we should be thankful for that." "I am so grateful for all you have done, Lilly. By saving my dear Sarah, I will give you your freedom. Anything else you need... just ask." The older woman grew silent and still for a moment. "Thank you, Mrs. Penny, I appreciate your kindness." Then they slowly moved away from my room, their voices carried softer by the distance. I fell into an uneasy sleep. I could feel movement about the bed which caused me to open my eyes ever so slowly. A quick glance to the window told me that it was well past noon. "How long will she be bed-ridden?" The woman smiled in my direction seeing that I was awake. The little woman called Lilly, hobbled over next to the bed. "It's up to her... she seems entirely healthy now and ready to face the world." I just lay there, my eyes dancing from one face to the other. Who were they talking about? Who was Sarah? Why did they keep referring to me as "she"? I tried to raise myself up and both women rushed to my side. "Not so fast... you must not try to do too much, too soon," the white woman scolded. Again I lay back and closed my eyes. If they wouldn't let me up, I would just as soon sleep. Later into the afternoon, I woke and sat up in the bed. The large black woman was busying herself around the room noticed me and came over to prop some pillows under my back. She smiled at me and fussed with the blankets for a moment before walking out of the room. I looked around the majestic room and studied everything with new appreciation of this family's generosity and wealth. It was then that I noticed the girl, sitting upright in her bed on the other side of the room. I had never seen such a lovely vision before in my life! She appeared to be about my age with beautiful long golden hair cascading down around her shoulders. She was wearing a sleeping corset that allowed a minimal amount of breast to pillow up for my viewing pleasure. Our eyes met and we both looked away, I wasn't sure who was more embarrassed. It only took a moment before my young lust drew my eyes back to her exquisite form. We smiled at each other. I couldn't believe how warm she was making me; I studied her full sensuous lips almost beckoning me to cross the room and smother her with kisses. When I finally settled down I noticed that her corset had become untied and one breast was dangerously close to falling out of its protection. I found myself hoping to catch a glimpse of her tender young breast... praying that it would fall free. I anticipated her excitement as I could see the succulent young buds expand in arousal as she was studying me in earnest as well. So, this lovely little exquisite creature, must be the Sarah that I heard them talking about! I would have given anything to be able to bed this feminine creature! At 16, I felt that I was ready to take on a man's role... especially with a girl like her... she on the other hand had an innocent and maybe a naive look about her. I too wasn't beyond feeling the same want that she was feeling, the little pulses of sexual energy began to flow into my crotch, I knew that unless something happened soon, my penis would spring to life and embarrass both of us. Although I wasn't sure if this wonderful female would have been too upset, it appeared she wanted me as badly as I wanted her. To the chagrin of both of us, Keeza found it necessary to enter the room, and we both turned our heads to watch her enter. The matronly black gasped with surprise as she quickly moved toward my bed. Her hands almost flew to my shirt. "You must never...never let this happen, it just ain't proper!" I looked down and couldn't really see what she was so upset about, nothing unusual about having your shirt open. That is, unless you have...have... "Breasts?" I shouted. I screamed at the black trying to tie the corset and quickly rolled off of the bed, looking down my vision was filled with the striking cleavage created by two pert young breasts gathered into the confining space of the corset! I looked at Keeza and then back down at what seemed to have attached itself to my chest! "What did you do to me?" "Oh...oh dear me! I must get Miss Lilly!" she shouted as she raced out of the room and down the hallway. I stood there and faced the door listening to her shouting as she ran. Slowly I turned, using a post to catch myself from falling. I saw the lovely beauty doing the same. Her luxurious long golden hair flowed down her back and stopped about halfway between her delicate shoulders and rounded bottom that pushed out ever so delicately. It was then that I realized that I had been looking into a mirror, and I saw the reflection of MY nipples as they began to become engorged and swell, pushing out the soft material of the sleeping corset. I couldn't believe this! I had died and came back a woman! And this vision was so lovely, it was making me aroused. "My God... what has happened to me?" I whispered in a voice not my own. I stood and stepped toward the mirror, her tiny feminine hands seeking out the smooth surface of the glass. My eyes met hers and drank up the beauty they reflected, her dark, long lush eyelashes curved up and framed two of the most beautiful sky-blue crystal eyes that I had ever seen! Her nose was small and wonderful, resting just above a pair of lips that would arouse any man with desire! I let my eyes lower and study the body being reflected back. She was so lovely from the top of her golden hair to the bottoms of those dainty feet and everywhere in-between. Those generous young breasts, the tapered waist to the little bulge in her garment where her belly button should be. She looked a bit out of proportion standing there as I let my hand rest on the tummy facing me, so I slowly stroked the material. Suddenly, I realized that the "bulge" wasn't in the material as I had first thought, but this beautiful creature that I had become was...was... oh my God! A cry caught in my throat. "That means...oh..." The room began to spin as my face suddenly began to perspire, I felt myself sliding down the mirror as butter would slide on a hot pan. The room spun slowly, darkness enveloped me and I fell softly to the floor. ****** I opened my eyes at the feeling of someone sitting next to me on the bed. Mrs. Penny slowly came into focus as I wiped the sleep from my eyes. "Hello, honey, are you feeling better?" "Um... I feel fine now, I guess," I softly replied. "You gave us quite a start yesterday... do you feel well enough to eat?" She smiled and patted my soft hand. "You really need to eat something other than the broth that we've been feeding you," she spoke as she began to assist me into a sitting position. I looked across the room and saw the young lady looking back at me; slowly her hand touched her cheek. "What has happened to me?" "Oh my young child, you had become gravely ill and we thought you died! If it weren't for Miss Lilly, you would have been lost to us forever." I sat and stared at her. "Eat, child...you need to keep your strength up." At that moment, the large black woman and the old woman stepped into the room. It was Keeza who spoke up. "Mrs. Penny, I have your lunch ready down in the great room. Please come down to eat now, Sarah will be okay now that Miss Lilly is here." My eyes followed the old woman as she seated herself on the other side of this gigantic bed. She watched as the two other women had left and we were alone. "Tell me, child, what can you remember?" My soft trembling voice replied. "I recall seeing a girl in my reflection before I passed out!" She placed her hand on mine and looked directly into my eyes commanding my attention. "I mean before... long before." I let my eyes wander as I spoke, slowly being drawn back toward the beauty in the mirror. From her perfect lips, came the words my mind formed. "I remember being a solder in the Union army. I was in the infantry... we were fighting near here when I was captured. I hooked up with a company but was later separated during battle. I remember being shot by someone hiding in the dark." I looked at the old woman, suddenly tears began to roll down my cheeks. I could feel my lip trembling with a new-found fear. "I...I think I died!" I cried. She smiled weakly, rubbing the back of my hand. "No, child, you didn't die in the sense you're thinking. It's true that the young solder you once were had died, but his soul lives on. We lost Sarah due to illness and used a bit of ancient Nigerian magic to pull your soul and give it to Sarah... she was supposed to use your life-force and replenish hers. But, we were too late... her soul must have drifted into heaven before we could help her." She sadly looked down at the patterns in the quilt. "My God... you trapped my soul into this body! Put me back! I don't want to be a woman... I want my old body back right now!" I began to cry like the young female I had become. She squeezed my hand forcing me to pull away in anger. "It's not that easy to explain," she spoke softly. "Your old body was dead. You had a hole in your chest about the size of this." She used her thumb as an example. "That was about two weeks ago... your old body is hopelessly lost by now, buried under six feet of earth." My beautiful lip trembled as I threw myself forward on the bed and cried. Her hand reached out and tried to comfort me with the soft stroking of my golden hair. Between sobs I pleaded. "There's no way that I can ever go back to what I was before? I'm going to stay as a girl ...forever?" "Yes, that's so, once the sphere is used on you, it can never be used on you again. You will remain like this until the day you die." She tightened her lip in a futile effort to hide her emotions of what she had caused. I leaned back against the mountain of pillows and looked at her. My mind was in a turmoil of emotions, I had died... at least the old me had died. My soul was moved into this body... this beautiful female body! I was now a woman! I stared wide-eyed at her. "This isn't possible! If I have been inside of this girl for two weeks as you say, how would you account for my bodily human needs? Surely, I would have had to... go?" The little black woman smiled and nodded into the corner. "You were very weak; Keeza and I supported you over the chamber pot so you could relieve yourself." I felt my jaw drop. "Oh don't be so prudish, little one, you ain't got anything that we haven't seen already." Turning my eyes from her, I looked down at myself and felt a fluttery movement within my belly. Was it nerves? I closed my eyes as I felt it again... no, this was not nerves! My look toward the old woman must have telegraphed the question in my mind. "Yes, child... young Sarah was expecting her firstborn. She had passed only moments before you would have, we thought we had enough time, but we were wrong. The child was able to maintain survival long enough for your soul to occupy her form... the child lives now because of your sacrifice." I found myself slowly rubbing my tummy without thinking, once I saw what I had been doing I stopped. The old woman smiled at my realization, I didn't see the humor in it. I swung my legs to the side of the bed and let them drop over the edge, one way or another I was determined to leave. My movement however, was decidedly feminine, and she noticed my surprise as I quickly let them dangle beside each other. "Why did I just do that?" I said pointing to my legs as I flipped my golden tresses out of my way. I was sure my face reddened as I again did a very feminine thing. "Why do I keep doing things like... like a girl would do them... if I'm a man inside!" "You are hardly a man inside anymore," pointing to the tiny swell of my belly. "As much as I can suspect, you have acquired some of the lasting effects of Sarah. She used to move somewhat in the way you are now. She would flip her hair just like you did as well. You and she occupy the same being... you are the living Sarah, but her actions and movements have been mapped into her young body. I would guess that the longer you are her... you will discover more and more of her in you. How much of her remains?" She smiled slowly and shrugged. "...it will be for you to discover." I looked down as she spoke. "How could this possibly happen to me?" I cried. "Oh Christ..." I saw where her sleeping silk had opened up to reveal much more leg than I wanted... smooth and silky legs that were now mine, thin and dainty, crossed at the knee... so sexy... so feminine! How unreal to be seeing a beautiful creature like Sarah seemed to be... from this angle! Flipping the garment back to cover my creamy flesh again, I asked Miss Lilly a question. "I just don't know what to do... I can't stay like this... this female!" I waved my hands toward myself. "I don't know if I can wear dresses and all the trappings of a girl!" I suddenly realized that my voice projection had changed slightly from the Northern Indiana accent that I had! My hand flew toward my throat. "Did... did you just hear me? Am I speaking with a Southern accent? Oh God, this can't be happening to me!" I looked into the mirror at the beautiful creature sitting on the bed that was me. "I don't understand how this can happen... I've been changed into a pregnant girl, all the while I should be laying in eternal rest in the ground out there!" I shuddered and at the same time felt the tears well in my eyes, and she noticed it too. "If you want, there is something that I can do which will erase your memory and allow you to think of yourself as always being Sarah." She placed her hand on my arm suddenly covered in goosebumps, sending little tremors racing down my spine. I looked at her hand and slowly pushed it away, and tried to rationalize what was happening to me. "Who is the father... of this?" I gently rubbed the swell in my stomach. "How did it happen?" She chuckled and pointed toward the tin photo of the dashing young officer. "That's the who and why you are pregnant, as for the reason... all women need a station in life, you had everything except for the man. Now that you have the man... the child was sure to follow." She brushed a stray golden hair from my eyes. "Sarah, the girl who once was you ...loved him very much." She lifted the tintype from the stand and handed it to me. I looked toward the mirror at the young female pouting in the bed. I looked at the wrinkled old woman and pushed a tear back. "I can't live this way... you shouldn't have done this to me!" She stood up and began to head out of the room. "As the boy... you were destined to die. At least, as Sarah... you can live another day." I buried my face and cried into my trembling hands as she began to stroke the back of my head. "Lay still child, I'll bring you something to eat." Eventually, I settled back into my pillow mountain and looked toward the picture on the stand. The officer did cut quite a dashing figure, a strong jaw and reasonable build. He appeared tall, young... and... and virile. I found myself beginning to cry softly. "Why couldn't she have just left me die?" A slight movement, like a butterfly within my stomach caused me to look downward. Slowly I pulled the sheets aside, flattening the silk so it conformed to the shape of my waist, which gave me a good look at the rise of my stomach. I focused on one area, and my eyes widened as what could be only the movement of a small child roll within! I looked up as the old woman walked back in followed closely by Keeza. "That child of yours is active," the old withered woman said. "And will be more as each day passes." "It's not mine!" I shot back. "I didn't ask for it!" I folded my arms and pulled the blanket back over my swollen stomach. "Tsk...tsk...tsk." Keeza clucked her opinion. "That child is a gift from God! You better be treating it as such!" The large woman folded her arms and glared at me. "Keeza... you have something to be doing... so do it!" the old woman spoke without ever looking away from me. "She will come to love the little one... it will just be a matter of time." I glared at them and looked away, only my darting eyes would have betrayed the distrust for them that was in my heart. I folded my arms defiantly across my breasts. "I'll carry the thing if I have to... but you can't force me to keep it!" The old woman only smiled at my comment and winked at Keeza. She slowly walked around the foot of the bed, her cane clicking against the floor. I watched her intently as she sat herself in a big chair placed in the corner. "Tell me, child, what was your name before..." I frowned. "My name... well, my name is Sarah." I shrugged my small shoulders. Keeza laughed from where she was standing and handed me a small sandwich on a plate. I looked from one woman to the next and asked, "What? What's so funny?" The old woman smiled and drew a finger on her chin. "Sarah, where were you born?" I thought that this had to be the dumbest line of questioning that I had ever heard. I inhaled with frustration and answered her truthfully. "I was born in Clarksville, Tennessee. Why are you asking all of these odd questions?" She leaned forward in the chair and pointed to the large woman. "Who is that?" I looked at the matronly female, and shrugged my shoulders. "Her name is Keeza... she's my slave." I thought about what I had just said. "Wait a minute... I don't have slaves... do I?" "Who am I, Sarah?" The old woman interrupted as she struggled to her feet. "You are Miss Lilly..." I looked away slowly and whispered in shock, "Now how did I know that?" "You see, child, the Sphere has placed the soul of your old self into Sarah... your soul has been absorbed into her body. You have become one... since her body is holding your soul... you have her memories." I watched her pass a mirror in front of me, my eyes fixated on the beautiful girl in the mirror. "Your old self will soon be pushed to the background... you are becoming Sarah." "This can't be happening!" I cried, the young girl in the mirror buried her beautiful face in her slender hands. "Please God, wake me from this nightmare!" I rolled and buried my face into the pillow, tears absorbed into the material as I cried. Then in fury I turned on the bed, my breasts heaving with breathless anger. "A bullet didn't kill me... you did! I died when you chose to interfere with your own selfish needs, trapping me in this body of a dead, pregnant girl!" I tried to strike at my stomach and fought against the two blacks as they wrestled me