The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)s6e8: Renae Russell (30) free porn video

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We begin this week’s episode in the middle of a sex scene ... No dogs here though – just two slim, young, attractive women – near naked (they each have stockings and suspenders, one is still wearing a bra) ... Rolling around on a big white bed, kissing passionately, tongues pushing into each other’s mouths – mouths open so we can see the wet contacts, tongues wrestling in a very show-offy way ... They are clearly aware of the camera.

We recognise the bra-less woman by the line of dog-paw tattoos running up her legs, and by the huge DOGWHORE tattoo across her chest – it’s our regular hostess, Charley Ozvik. She sweeps her long, straight jet black hair away from her face and smiles, gasping, “Make them hurt...” as her lover squeezes on her big fake bolt-on tits and bites on her hard nipples.

The lover has auburn hair, as long as Charley’s, is slighter – but equally toned and tanned. Her face is square, with big, very cute, dimples in each cheek, and huge round eyes. Her tits, perfect orbs of firm round flesh, are trapped in her sexy black bra, nipples poking over the half-cups.

These two, kissing and groping, squeezing and stroking, are a very welcome sight.

Charley narrates over the top of the lesbian lust... “Earlier this year, before social distancing began, I visited the lovely Renae Russell to film a guest appearance for the latest edition of her internet series, ‘Renae Loves... ‘ And I had a very good time...”

We cut to the image of Charley holding her head as Renae licks at her pussy ... We join the action at the exact moment of orgasm, then wait around just long enough to watch Renae lick and kiss up Charley’s belly, over her fake tits, dragging her tongue over that colourful tattoo, to her neck, her chin, to her mouth – for a nice, open mouthed, kiss ... Which turns into a big smile on both girl’s faces.

Cut to Charley raising a dildo into frame – an ugly, nine-inch canine cock dildo, purple and slick, with an expandable knot near its base. She says, “My turn!”, and Renae falls back on the bed, her legs spreading to show off the cutest, pussy – shaved into a short, stubbly love-heart, and a wet and sticky looking snatch.

Then we cut away before Charley gets to use the dildo on her fellow slut. Cutting away to a behind the scenes moment, the two ‘actresses’ casually walking around in a bathroom, getting ready to shower themselves off. Laughing and joking, no longer passionate lesbians – now just fellow professionals chatting after ‘the game’. Renae speaks with a similar accent to Charley – more Lancashire than Charley’s Mancunian sound - but with a squeakier, more playful and slightly vacuous tone.

Renae asks, “So is that what a real dog feels like, then?”

Charley laughs, “Oh noooo ... A toy can’t possible compare to the real thing...” She removes a stocking. “Perhaps you should try the real thing ... Now that I’ve been on your show, perhaps you could return the compliment and be on mine?”

Renae screws her face up a little and takes her turn to laugh, “Noooo ... I don’t think so ... I’ve get all the cock I need just doing this show!”

We freeze on a shot of a topless Renae smiling, then hear Charley’s voice-over again. “Well, that was then – and this is now...”

We cut to a close-up of the very pretty, and decidedly sexy dimpled face of Renae Russell ... She looks good, with slutty make-up, thick red-lipstick, her hair straightened.

“Hello, I’m Renae Russell, I’m 30 years old, and I’m an adult actress from Blackburn in Lancashire ... I’ve been in the adult film business for over a decade, and I’ve tried just about everything ... Except...” She points to the side – and we whip the camera around in the direction she’s pointing to see a friendly looking Golden Retriever named Thor. Then whip back to Renae, who is trying to fight an embarrassed smile and laughter off. “I’ve never had sex with an animal ... Yet... !” She smiles as soon as the last work has left her mouth.

We cut to Charley and Renae standing side-by-side, looking from each other to the camera as they talk. They are in our studios in Manchester, although there is no crew present and our regular set is in storage – so there’s no bed, just bare concrete floors and white walls. Charley has, however, set up some lights and broken out the good cameras – so this is going to be a very clear, high quality show (which is a relief after a few weeks of Charley’s low-resolution camcorder work).

Charley is casually dressed in a t-shirt, jeans and boots. The t-shirt isn’t meant to be sexy, but her fake boobs are stretching it out, her pierced nipples pushing against the material (it looks like she’s looking forward to seeing Renae in action with Thor).

Renae is wearing a purple bustier/corset that highlights her narrow waist and lovely round tits (which are sitting proud, with the nipples just tucked away under the line of the material), matching purple g-string panties, and stockings/suspenders that show off her slim legs, and trampy transparent stacked ‘stripper’ heels. It’s not an overstatement to say that she is probably the hottest guest we’ve had on the show – and (say it quietly because it will annoy Charley), she’s got a natural look that our host’s surgically enhanced features can’t match.

“Well, Renae, welcome to The United Kingdom of Zoo ... It’s a treat to have you here ... Would you like to tell us a little more about who you are, and why you’re here today...”

Renae smiles for the camera and gives us a quick rundown of her life and times... “Well, I’ve always loved sex, and, uh, experimentin’ ... I started having sex when I was 14, started making home movies with my boyfriend when I was 16 ... Started doing them professionally when I was 18, just about to turn 19 ... Erm ... I’ve only had, like, five serious relationships outside of ‘work’, but between working in the UK and in America, I’ve probably had sex with about 300 people on camera – men and women, like.”

“Do you like it?” Asks Charley. 300 dwarves her number of lovers, even if you count dogs...

Renae looks particularly cute yet wicked at this moment. It wouldn’t matter how many people she admitting to fucking, we’d still think she looked cute... “I fuckin’ luvvit!” She says as she flicks her long hair from her face before continuing. “It’s freeing to just do what you enjoy doing. I get paid to do the thing I like doing the most ... They used to call me Little Miss Enthusiasm because I’d run onto the set and jump into whatever the scene was ... Suck a cock, eat a pussy, take a couple of dicks ... Didn’t matter ... I loved it ... Still do ... And I’m good at it ... I’d do it for free if they wouldn’t pay me!” She laughs.

“And of course, we’re not paying you today...” Confirms Charley.

“Nooooo...” Renae frowns, then smiles again. “I don’t care ... This is just something I was always very curious about ... I’ve watched tons of videos, all of your shows ... It was just something I hadn’t tried, and it looked fun ... Then you came on my show – and we had so much fun together ... And you invited me here – and at first I thought naaaahhhh ... Then I thought, why not? So here I am...”

Both women nods, pausing a little awkwardly. Renae glances down at Thor, who’s just a few feet away, his tail wagging slowly, waiting to be called on. Then Charley cuts right to the chase...

“Well, I’m sure all of our viewers are as keen as I am to see you get started ... So, without further ado ... Why don’t you show the boys and girls at home how a real slut treats a dog...” She waves an arm toward Thor and steps back to let Renae get started.

Renae looks back at her with a “I’ve fucked on camera a thousand times” look on her face, and says “Never mind how a real slut treats a dog, let’s see how a dog treats a real slut, aye?” – and with that she steps toward the dog, stripper heels clicking on the hard floor.

Thor stands as she steps toward him and crouches down. She reaches forward with both hands to stroke his snout, head and neck – bringing one hand under his big jaw, the other on top of his head. Then she stares into his big brown eyes. There’s a moment where you could swear they are swapping thoughts ... And the thoughts are all pornographic!

Then the loveable Labrador starts to lick at the air between his face and hers – and she instinctively leans forward to fill that space – closing her eyes and pursing her lips ... They kiss ... His big wide pink tongue flopping and slopping over her pretty dimpled cheeks and big soft lips.

She smiles, letting her lips part as she opens her mouth, offering him no resistance as he licks inside – his tongue snaking in, over hers, hitting the inside of her cheek, and then slipping out again – over and over. Her tongue coming out to meet his – making sure the angle is right for our cameras to see the tongue-to-tongue contact. Moaning a little, making it clear she’s enjoying herself.

After a good kissing session, she pulls back to catch her breath, and looks up at us with a wide smile, like she’s been caught being naughty, then licks her already soaked lips seductively before smiling again – a confident smile rather than an embarrassed or nervous one.

She leans back from her squat and drops from her stack heels to her firm bottom, rolling back and letting her legs come up in the air, spread wide – really wide, like the pornstar she is ... Reaching down between her thighs and hooking the gusset of her g-string across to the side, exposing her tidy little snatch – the neatly trimmed love-heart of dark hair, small, tucked away labial lips, all pink and tight and inviting ... This doesn’t look like a pussy that’s been ploughed by hundreds of big dicked porn-studs ... It looks near perfect.

Thor stands back, tailing wagging slowly, looking down at her – seemingly almost as stunned as we are that a girl this hot would be spreading her legs for a fucking dog...

She pats her pussy, the sensation making her smile again – white teeth and dimples aplenty – and tempts him in, “Come on ... Don’t be afraid ... This is ALL for you...”

He steps forward, licking his lips, his long tongue snaking out and over the sides of his snout...

“My God, look at the size of his tongue...” She pronounces it ‘tong’ rather than ‘tung’ - it’s very sexy and cute – and is clearly very excited about the idea of it working her pussy.

The dog drops his head down between her thighs and begins to lap at her little slice of heaven – the second his tongue makes contact with her she spasms in shock and moans an “Oh God...”, bringing her hands up over her corset to her tits, squeezing them through the purple material. Slipping one hand between the cup and the breast, squeezing the tit itself ... She runs the fingers of her other hand through her long hair as she takes pleasure from his licking ... We cut to a wider angle, and those who look at the dog’s rear end rather than at Renae’s pretty face, will notice that his cock is already beginning to look heavy and hard between his hindlegs ... Not all the way, but definitely on the way.

Renae arches her back, clearly enjoying the sensation of that wide, warm tongue slopping over her wet gash ... Her hands moving down to the dog’s head, slowly scratching the top of his head, then back up over her corset to her boobs ... Writhing as he continues to lick... “Oh fucckk yessssss ... Ohhhhhhhh!” She moans, “Don’t stop...”

She has both hands on her tits now, trying to pinch and play with her nipples, then using one hand to pull her left tit out of the corset altogether, whilst the right pulls the cup down ... Switching to pull the right tit out and pull the corset cup down – ending up with two exposed tits, pushed up and distorted by the underwear, standing proud, with erect nipples she can play with easily ... Which she does – pinching each and pulling on them as the dog’s tongue continues to work its magic. “Oooohhhh ffffuucckkk!!” She gasps, her head back, pretty face surrounded on the floor by her long hair – only letting go of one nipple for just long enough to stroke a couple of loose hairs from her face. She’s a pro – no matter how much fun she’s having she’ll make sure she looks good for the camera.

Then her hips begin to jerk, her thighs and belly tensing, lifting her arse off the floor – her body shaking... “Ohhh yeesssss ... YYESSSSS!” she moans, her mouth twisting into a smile as she clearly reaches orgasm. The bucking becomes a little wild, and after a few seconds of it Thor backs away from her, still licking the air – getting the taste of her pussy from his tongue to his mouth.

She shakes for a second, shivers ... Then looks up into camera and smiles again. “Mmmmmmmmm ... That was gooooood!” she gasps ... Then, without any pause, she reaches down with both hands, grabs her g-string and slips it down her legs, bringing her feet up into the air again and she pulls them off altogether, throwing them to the side.

We cut to a shot of the pretty pornstar as she settles down on her knees behind Thor, who is still standing with that partial hard-on ... She reaches between his thighs to play with that cock - making it grow even more, working the shaft – pulling the sheath back to expose more and more of it ... Pausing to inspect it ... Pink, shiny and so sexy ... Then jerking it even harder. “Oooohhhh, he’s got a BIIIIIG cock!” She chuckles as it continues to grow, her dimples looking so cute ... Whispering, “Can’t wait to get this inside me...” just loud enough to be sure the microphones pick it up.

She sits back and pulls Thor’s rear end around closer to her face, making sure the angle works for our cameras – a skilled pro ... She flips his cock back between his legs toward her mouth ... Moves even closer...

She inspects it closely, pauses ... Smiles a little, turning her head a little toward the camera to acknowledge the audience at home – then leans forward and smoothly slides the cock into her mouth, over the tongue and right to the back of her throat until she almost gag/coughs ... Then holds it there, right on the edge of a cough, until her eyes begin to water ... We can tell she’s done this hundreds of times before – but never with a dog’s cock.

She draws it out an inch, before smacking it back into her throat ... Repeating ... Again ... Harder and faster ... Her throat making a quacking noise as she hovers on the edge of making herself throw up.

After a little while she pulls the cock out to catch her breath, mucous and saliva stringing out of her mouth ... Manages to say, “That’s so fucking hard, and so fucking hot ... It’s an amazing cock!” Then she whacks it straight back in, repeating the process until she can’t manage any more, right on the edge of vomiting ... She pulls the cock clear of her mouth and wipes the sticky strings of mucous from her lips with the back of her hand – then gives us a guilty half-smile. “That’s so fucking dirty ... So good...”

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from Tottenham, London. We fade in on our hostess, Charley. She’s skirting that territory between sexy and strange. With her heavily botoxed face, obviously fake bolt-on boobs, and all those tattoos on her chest, her legs, her arms ... All wrapped up in too-small clothes, showing off as much flesh as possible – mini-skirt, sleeveless low-cut top. She’s strange, but she’s ours... We’re on a wide grey street, black fences on either side, nothing beyond them on one side, a blue storage...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e19 Belinda

Series 4, Episode 19: Belinda We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... We’re in an unimpressive residential area. Lots of orange/brown two story terraced houses that probably looked very modern and sharp in the early 80s, but now just look boring. An occasional resident walks along the street alone, a couple of cars pass by –...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11 E06 Lucinda Glass 46 from Middlesbrough

We start this week’s show with establishing footage from our drone camera as it flies over a large area of well-appointed parkland – bowling greens, rows of trees in large curves, recently mown lawns, a children’s play park, over a small lake, more trees and then down to the neat semi-detached houses beyond... Dropping all the way down to street level, bringing our host into view – a white speck on the pavement at first, then as we get closer – a nicer, more attractive speck ... Closer...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e5 Julia Green 56

We fade in on high street – plenty of people around, obviously not during the Coronavirus lockdown. The camera swings around to face a bank, then moves in through the doors – past a member of staff on the front desk who waves at whoever is holding the camera (clearly knowing them) ... The camera moves past a line of customers and up to one of the cash windows ... The clerk behind the window looks up... She’s middle-aged, with a tired, almost ‘loose’ looking face – one of those big mouths...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e20 Tina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re looking at a sandy beach on a perfect summer’s day – small waves rolling...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e7 Siobhan

Series 4, Episode 7: SIOBHAN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re in the middle of a busy food-court - restaurants...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e1 Sammy Murty

We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E01 Christina Bruce 42 from Belfast

With series 12 completed, we roll straight through into series 13 - the same hosts, doing the same things all over again ... Aren’t we getting bored of this yet? Well, it appears not ... So... We start this week’s show with establishing shots of quiet suburban streets – semi-detached homes, very middle class and safe... And then, stepping into frame from the side, moving from behind the camera to infront - this week’s host ... Still the nation’s least likely sex symbol – short, fat,...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
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  • 15
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e15 Donna Ferry 51

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......

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