The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)Charley - Doggy Gangbang, Part 1 free porn video

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End of Series 3 special: Charley Kiefer

Part 1

Footage courtesy of British Academy of Television. We see the brightest and best of the British television industry, all dressed up in their best – hair perfect, make-up (for the ladies, mainly), and big smiles. Amongst the familiar actors, actresses, chat-show hosts, comedians, reality stars and general celebrities, we see a face that looks slightly out-of-place, yet still familiar to us ... It’s our very own Charley, in a long, white, figure-hugging dress, low-cut (but not too low). She’s no tv superstar beauty queen, but she’s entirely pleasant and easy on the eye.

Then we’re on the podium, Jimmy Carr and Rachel Riley from Channel 4’s “8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown”. Jimmy looking as sleezy and polished as usual, with a lascivious little white toothed grin; Rachel, looking as good as ever, all sweat and innocent. She opens an envelope and slips out a card with the winner’s name on it. “The award for Most Popular Host goes to...”

Then Jimmy jumps in, unable to resist the joke, “The woman who gives new meaning to ‘going dogging’, Charley Ozvik!” But his smile is one of amazement rather than humour, as in ‘how the fuck did SHE win?’

And then we’re watching a rather stunned Charley making her way up to the stage – her nipples noticeably hard against the fabric of her dress. She’s stopped on the way to stage by a red-haired woman who insists on a congratulatory hug, she looks familiar (as do most of the audience members – maybe someone from daytime tv) – and then Charley’s on her way to the stage again.

On the stage she takes a hug from Rachel, then blocks Jimmy with a palm on the chest – part in jest, but mainly because she doesn’t want him to touch her ... She takes her award, then readies herself at the microphone whilst the applause dies down.

“I can’t believe I’m up here...” She says, her Mancunian accent a little shaky from the nerves. “I didn’t even know I WAS a presenter until I got the nomination. Nobody told me. I thought I was just asking a few questions then helping out a bit...” She giggles, looking around at all these faces she’s previous watched on tv. “When we started making the show, no one wanted to have anything to do with us, and no-one ever admitted to watching, but the viewing figures were always high – so we knew some of yous were watching...” She smiles a very cute knowing smile as she points her finger around the room. “This,” she holds up the award, “This is for everyone who’s worked on the show ... Behind the cameras and, erm, beneath the dogs...” The audience laughs a little, semi nervous, laugh. Charley gathers her thoughts. “I told the guys that I had no chance of winning tonight ... I said, if I win, I’ll do all of the dogs...” She laughs, as does the audience. “No ... No, I’m serious. I’ve never done one, but tonight’s going to be one hell of an after-party!”

She steps back from the podium holding up her award and taking the applause and wolf-whistles from the audience. Rachel talks to her as they walk off the stage, exchanging girly laughs. The look on Jimmy Carr’s face is pure bewilderment – there’s nothing he can say that’s more shocking than Charley has just said!

We cut to: lower quality video. Hand-held, we see a party in mid-swing. It’s our production offices, our main studio floor to be precise. Looking around the room we recognise most of the faces – around 50 of the 61 women who’ve featured on our show over the last three series, plus their partners, plus crew, are present. All casually dressed, laid back. Chatting, joking, sharing stories ... This is the first time our former cast-members have been in the same place.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the British Television Academy’s Most Popular Host – Charley Ozvik!”

The door opens, and Charley enters holding her award over her head, still wearing that pretty figure hugging dress and a big smile. Everyone cheers her into the room and applauds. There are hugs and cheek kisses from almost every woman she passes, the occasional buttock squeeze too.

She eases through the crowd and takes up a position on a raised stage at the front of the studio. Our producer, Luke Ozvik himself, is on the stage already, holding a microphone, ready to interview her. The party crowd settles down to watch. Those who don’t have a clear view of the stage being able to watch any of the dozen tv screens spread around the studio floor.

Charley steps up next to Luke, straightens her dress out, her nipples still very obvious through the material. She catches her breath, then looks up. The height difference between them is large – she’s a little over 5 ft tall, he’s well over 6 ft. Having learned the tricks of the trade, Charley has slipped her heels off as she stepped onto the stage, so she looks even smaller next to him.

“Do you want to get the formalities out of the way?” Asks Luke.

She looks into camera. “Hi – my name is Charley Ozvik ... I’m 27 years old, I’m from Manchester, and apparently I’m Britain’s Favourite TV Host!”

The crowd claps, cheers, and laughs a little at hearing the famous UK Zoo intro coming from Charley herself.

“Why are we here tonight?”

“Well, I’ve been getting letters since the show started, since I was first on camera, asking when I will be on the show ... All the dog owners have at one time or another asked if I was interested ... And you, you – you dirty bugger – have dropped hints non-stop the whole time that you want to see me do it... “ She pauses, looking up at Luke as if all she wants to do right now is impress him. “I said last week that if I win the award – I’d do it ... Then yesterday, when you asked which dog I’d do WHEN I won the award, I suddenly realised that I couldn’t decide. I’d seen them all in action up close - I’d seen how much the girls enjoyed them all, and I’d watched the videos in the editing room for so long ... I realised I couldn’t pick...”

“So tell us what you’ve decided instead... ?”

She takes a deep breath... “I’ve decided to do ALL of them...” The crowd begins the cheers and applaud. “ ... One after another... “ They applaud louder, and whistle, and cheers, and holler. “Right here, right now!” This brings the house down – maybe a hundred partiers, full of booze and good will, and delighted that they are about to witness the most dementedly perverted performance of all time!

“One girl ... One night ... ALL OF THE DOGS!” Calls out Luke, whipping the crowd up even further!

Charley’s nipples look incredible as they strain against the front of that tight dress – but her smile, a combination of excitement and embarrassment is even more impressive. “Bring them on ... The more the merrier...”

Everyone calms down a little.

“Now tell us Charley, just for a little background on this night ... You’ve never had sex with a dog before?”

She shakes her head, “Nope.”

“And how many men have you had sex with?”

She thinks for a second. “Maybe half a dozen.”

“So you’re going to have more dog cocks through you tonight, than you’ve had men’s cocks in your life... ?”

She smiles, “Yes, that appears to be the case, doesn’t it?”

“And how many women?”

She thinks a little longer, cocks her head on one side as if it will help her thinking, “Maybe the same...”

“You’d call yourself a lesbian?”

She smiles, “You’d call me a lesbian ... You always do...” She laughs. “But I’m not averse to a man, if it’s the right man...” She looks up at Luke in a way that suggests he might be that man. He moves the subject on quickly...

“Are you looking forward to this?”

She looks a little nervous, but smiles all the same. “Yeah actually ... I think I’ve been in denial for a while ... I’m actually quite keen now!”

“Let’s go then...” Luke takes Charley by the hand and leads her back down through the party crowd. As they walk she smiles and he continues to talk into the microphone... “We would love to do this in here with everyone watching, but that would distract the dogs – and we don’t want that...”

“No, we do not, do we?” Adds Charley.

They walk out of the rear of the studio. “So we’re actually going to film it in my office – and everyone here can watch it on the screens here...” He says as we see shots of our party-goers taking up positions infront of the tv screens.

We watch Charley’s rear, wrapped in that sheer white material, heading away down a narrow corridor toward Luke’s office, then cut to a close-up of a familiar couple of faces from the past. Former ‘guests’ on the show, giving brief ‘vox-pop’ interviews.

Then we’re with huge smiling Macclesfield lunatic, from Series 1, Episode 13... “Charley’s an amazing girl. Amazingly lucky that is ... I can’t believe she’s going to get to do them all ... Most I’ve managed in one session is 3! Good luck to her!”

Fresh faced dentist Ruth, from Series 2, Episode 16... “Yeah, I’ve never done more than one actually – that’s more than enough for me ... Charley was a great girl on the set – she helped me relax off camera ... She’s a great kisser... (she laughs) Can I say that?”

Cut to Charley, entering Luke’s office. It’s a big room and the furniture has all been moved to the walls – his desk and chair in one corner (with a cameraman sitting on the desk to give him a high-angle and to stay out of the way).

She turns around and faces camera, looking a little coy, not used to being the centre of attention – but knowing what time it is.

“Tell me Charley...” Asks Luke, microphone ready to catch her answer. “When was the last time you had sex?”

She smiles, almost laughs... “I had it on the way here...” She points across the room to another young lady, one we haven’t seen before. “That dirty little whore licked my cunnie in the back of the car!” The other girl, Heather, a very frail looking girly, looks semi-embarrassed, but proud to be associated with Charley.

“So you’re nicely warmed up?”

“I’ve never been more ‘warmed-up’ in my life...” She says with a broad and mischievous smile.

“Well then – I suppose we better get started...” Says Luke.

Charley smiles, flips her long hair out of the way, then flicks one shoulder strap off, then the other, and allows that white dress to just slip down over her boobs and off her body to the floor. Her naked body is cute rather than outright sexy – with averaged sized but nicely rounded boobs, a slim but soft belly, narrow hips and slim legs. She’s wearing a pair of pretty white French knickers that hug her pert little bottom perfectly. She looks just a little nervous about being naked on camera, but doesn’t try to cover up.

After a brief pause she slips her thumbs into the corner of her knickers and slips them down her thighs, bending forward as she runs them over her knees and off. Stepping out and straightening up to show off a well-trimmed, almost bald, pussy.

She does a little twirl, shuffling around in tiny little steps on her high-heels, letting us see her small back and perfect little bum, then back to her firm boobs and cheeky smiling face, raising her hands in the air with a flourish as if saying, “that’s everything I’ve got”...

We cut to the party in the main studio again, seeing everyone gathered around the tv screens, drinks in hand, chatting. A woman near one of the screens turns toward us, she has a loose top on which she quickly holds flat to her belly to show how slim she is – we recognise her ... She’s the slim version of the once very round, and very pregnant, Rachel – “Hi, I was on Series 2 of the show ... When I wrote in I was already 7 months pregnant and absolutely couldn’t wait to fuck a dog ... Charley completely re-arranged the order of the shows so that they could come out and film me whilst I was still pregnant – and it was the most amazing gift anyone could have given me ... I’m forever in her debt, and I hope she’s having the best time of her life tonight...”

We cut to another familiar face – rough features and a wide smile, an older woman, “My name’s Sally, I was Episode 19 of Series 2 ... I thought I was a dirty cunt for fucking a dog on television ... But fucking all of them ... Now THAT’S a dirty cunt! I’m sure she’ll be up to the task ... And if she needs anyone to lick her arse clean once she’s finished – you know where I am!!” She laughs.

Then we’re in a corridor, backing away from a familiar big black, fearsome sight of Rocky the Rottweiler, and his owner Pablo, as they head toward Ozvik’s office. They turn and walk through the office doorway...

In the office Charley grins as the big dog pulls his owner through the door. As soon as Rocky sees the naked little woman he’s straining even harder. Charley steps toward them and gives Pablo a hug, her naked chest mashing up against his shirt, as Rocky sniffs between her thighs – then backs off from him and drops down into a crouch to welcome Rocky...

She’s barely stroked his head and said ‘hello boy’ before he’s dropped his head and pushed his snout between her thighs – she falls back onto the floor, legs in the air and pussy unguarded and Rocky is in there licking ... We’ve already started!

Charley gasps and smiles as she gets her first experience of dog-tongue... “Ooooohhhhhhh! That’s nice!!” She giggles, bringing her hand down on top of his head – not pushing him away, just making sure she’s in ‘control’.

He licks her until she is beginning to shiver ... Heightened nerves, anticipation and years of watching other sluts do this have our girl on the edge right from the start – but Luke is in control, he knows how to make this fun... “I think we should wrap this up, we haven’t got all night and we’ve got a lot of dogs to get through this bitch...” He jokes.

Pablo pulls on Rocky’s lead, dragging the dog away from Charley, who looks both disappointed and relieved at the same time. She wants to cum, but she doesn’t want to peak too soon.

Next thing we know she’s on her hands and knees, flipping her long hair to the side of her head so that our side-on camera can keep her face in shot. She’s smiling into camera and looking over her shoulder – waiting for Rocky to mount her. She’s breathing hard in anticipation. Clearly nervous, but also excited. She’s ready...

And so is Rocky – he rears up and mounts her, his cock already semi-erect and showing, wrapping his front legs around her ribs, his big chest on her back, hindpaws searching for purchase on the carpet between and around her knees. Bucking at her in short, staccato jerks – stabbing at her cunt ... Poking in ... Trying his hardest. Her firm boobs jiggling under her with every thrust, ribs expanding with every breath and she struggles to stay calm. Frustration on her face, mingling with fear, and always a little nervous smile of anticipation ... And then...

Rocky jams his cock between her pussy lips making her squeal a ‘YES!’ as the moment finally arrives ... She’s joined the gang. She’s officially having sex with a dog!

Rocky slips deeper into her with every thrust, and there are so many of them as he hammers into her at 100mph. His back arching, his cock digging in, grip around her ribs tightening ... Her mouth opening, squealing with every thrust. “Oh God ... Oh God ... Oh God!” Over and over.

We catch a shot of the party crowd watching on their screens, rapt in the moment, silent save for a few cheers and ‘Go girl!’ comments.

Back to the pounding in Luke’s office. Charley looking very small under the onslaught from the Rottweiler. His big bulk almost covers her slight frame, his arse a blur as he slams into her. Her breath ragged as she takes his fat cock in her tight pussy, her titties jiggling like crazy under her. Her fingers gripping at the carpet, nails digging in.

“Don’t let him tie – if she knots with every dog we’ll be here every night, so let’s just ease into it...” Orders Luke. Pablo nods and steps it to ‘protect’ Charley if required.

As it happens, Rocky doesn’t settle, doesn’t tie – just hammers her for almost a minute, then pulls out and staggers away leaving her catching her breath and mouthing ‘wow!’ to the camera before he face lights up with a little smile. It’s hard to read her face ... Relief that the first fuck is out of the way? Surprise at how nice it felt? Cum is dribbling from her pussy and being gathered in a Champagne flute by Charley’s girlfriend, Heather, catching it, then ‘shaving’ the droplets off Charley’s pussy lips with the rim of the glass, then slipping a finger into her lover’s gash, to open it up and allow more of the seed to spill out. Charley seems to enjoy this almost as much as Rocky’s cock. Moaning and smiling as she is fingered.

Rocky wheels around and comes back to her, her arse still in the air, a target – Heather pulls her finger out and gets out of the way and Rocky licks at Charley’s cunt twice, making her jump a little, then re-mounts and tries to penetrate her a second time – but his cock is too big and too unwieldly to direct into her without help...

Then Charley is on her back, under Rocky’s belly, looking up at his cock, which spurts occasional shots of jism over her face.

“You know you want to!” Teases Luke.

Charley smiles, “I know YOU want me to!” She giggles – then she raises her head and takes the tip of the dog’s cock between her lips. Sucks gently, then pulls it free, pulling an ‘urgghhh’ face. “Bitter...” She says, licking her lips ... She gets rid of the ‘urgghhh’ face and smiles a little coy smile... “But I’ve tasted worse...” And then she’s sucking on the tip again. Gently and experimentally, rather than hungry and horny. Taking her time. Pacing herself for the long night ahead...

We cut back to the main room, to another ‘vox-pop’ interview with a former guest on the show. A very familiar face this time – because we’ve only recently seen her show. It’s newly-web Eden Tarka (nee Abraham), standing with her much older husband. He’s almost leering at her as she talks to us. “She looks like she’s really enjoying that ... Sucking on that big dog ... At least it doesn’t taste like shit for her ... Ha ha ... They are MUCH better when they don’t taste like shit!”

And then to the very pretty, and still very young looking, Hope – “My name’s Hope Carrington. I was on series 2, and I am so, fucking, jealous, of that dirty little slut, so I am! I’ve been doing some ‘hosting’, a private show every now and then, you know ... Not much doggy stuff to be honest – but if a guy is willing to pay well, really well, it’s nice to already know my way around a dog’s cock, you know... ? So now Charley is learning her way around a LOT of dog cocks ... Good luck to her (she looks right into camera) ... Good luck, Charley!!”

Back to the office, Charley still on her hands and knees with her head under Rocky’s belly, sucking on his pole, as Prince the Labrador enters with his owner, Sue. Prince walks in with a big boner under his belly – clearly prepped before entering the room – and as soon as he sees a naked woman’s behind in the air he makes straight for her and jumps up on her back before she’s even realised he’s there.

The black dog grabs onto her, his paws slipping around her belly and down until they are hooked almost between her legs. Scrunching up his body and bending his back as he almost wraps around her hindquarters – that big cock looking for it’s ideal home ... Jabbing at her. Sue, still holding onto his leash, squats down between them both and reaches between the dog’s groin and Charley’s pussy, takes a gentle hold on the Labrador’s cock, then feeds it – stuffs it more like – into the younger woman’s wet pussy.

The second Prince is inside her, he takes over. Pounding and pounding – his cock slipping and sliding, in and out, down to about a six inch depth. Charley is rocked so hard that she has to take Rocky’s cock from her mouth, holding it in one hand, whilst she grits her teeth. Pablo takes Rocky by the collar to lead him away so the young slut can focus on her new lover.

Prince pounds hard at Charley, giving her a furious 40 seconds, before he begins to slow and jack harder against her ... A low angle close-up shows that Prince’s knot is forming in her pussy, beginning to stretch it out.

Charley is gasping, breathing in short, ragged, breaths. “Oh God ... Oh my ... Don’t stop ... Don’t stop...” – clearly enjoying herself. Then Prince is still, laid out over her back like a big black rug – his cock buried in her cunt. Big and ugly – but feeling oh-so-good to Charley.

Whilst Prince pumps his seed into Charley, we cut to the office next to Luke’s – which has usually been used as a green-room/waiting room for shows produced at this little studio. There are a few figures in here – one is Vader the Alsatian from Oldham, another in his owner, Kevin, who still looks like a mild-mannered, spectacle wearing accountant (because he is) ... The third figure is crazy Irish tart Glenda Kelly – continuing a love affair she started with Vader several years ago. She usually talks non-stop, but right now she’s focussed on sucking Vader’s cock until he’s hard as a rock and ready to make his move on Charley. Kevin speaks to us as the Irish slut blows his dog. “Glenda’s been coming to visit every other week ... Regular as clockwork. She took holiday last year and stayed in a motel just outside Manchester so I could bring him out to see her every day – he was exhausted by the time she went home ... Hopefully she won’t wear him out today!”

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We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Then we’re in a large carpark ... Hundreds of cars, shoppers pushing trolleys back...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e17 Penelope

“The United Kingdom of Zoo – Series 4, Episode 18: Penelope” by Luke Ozvik Series 4, Episode 18: PENELOPE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something familiar... A narrow single car width country road, leading through an area of barren, rolling, grassy hills. Dry stone walls rise about 3 feet on either side of the narrow road. A few cows...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e16 Annalise Tsaro 31

Series 5, Episode 13: Annalise Tsaro (31) – Dover – builder’s wife, loads of kids, ultra-protected, wants to do something crazy and independent We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level in front of the White Cliffs of Dover in just a few seconds – and we’re already into live-action. From here we race toward the cliffs, but just as we expect to rise...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e4 Becky Millington 32

We fade in on the face of a man – Mr Average, nothing to shout about, nothing to run away from ... He’s filming himself, selfie-style on a smart-phone camera. He looks excited and full of fun. He speaks, almost whispers, direct to the camera, in a mild Scouse accent, “Dear Charley, my name’s Kyle, and I’d like to nominate my partner, Becky, to be on The United Kingdom of Zoo – because she never stops thinking about having sex with dogs ... And to prove it ... Come with me...” He turns the...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11 E15 Marnie Coburn 43 from Blackburn

We start this week’s show with a drone shot, flying over endless terraces streets of old homes. Black roofs, barely a solar panel in sight, narrow streets crowded with parked cars... Then we cut to ground level in one of those narrow streets, seeing the cars parked on the pavement on either side, giving just enough room for another car to squeeze through. Terraced two-story houses line either side of the street, behind small walls that protect about a meter of concrete rather than a...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e15 Kimberly

“The United Kingdom of Zoo – Series 4, Episode 14: Kimberly” by Luke Ozvik Series 4, Episode 14: KIMBERLY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking down on a busy motorway – cars flying by at 70-80-90mph ... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old-fashioned English resort town ... Finally, we’re in a quiet, narrow residential street, late at night, outside a traditional English pub. White walls and black...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e18 Rachael

Series 4, Episode 18: RACHAEL We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... A large sewage treatment plant. A mini montage of big circular pools of household waste, being chewed up and cleaned by large rotating mechanical arms ... It looks like it smells terrible. The occasional member of staff, checking equipment, wearing full overalls...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesCharley doggy gangbang part 2

End of Series 3 special: Charley Kiefer Part 2 We fade in on highlights of yesterday’s episode. Charley accepting her award, arriving at our studio, undressing to show off her slim little body and pert bottom, being mounted by several different dogs, sucking them, Heather scooping up their cum into the glass ... And then we’re back up to our favourite slut, looking up into camera and smiling. Looking pretty, and happy, but at the same time a lot like a woman who’s just had sex with five...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e16 Ava Marvaux 22

from Tottenham, London. We fade in on our hostess, Charley. She’s skirting that territory between sexy and strange. With her heavily botoxed face, obviously fake bolt-on boobs, and all those tattoos on her chest, her legs, her arms ... All wrapped up in too-small clothes, showing off as much flesh as possible – mini-skirt, sleeveless low-cut top. She’s strange, but she’s ours... We’re on a wide grey street, black fences on either side, nothing beyond them on one side, a blue storage...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e19 Belinda

Series 4, Episode 19: Belinda We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... We’re in an unimpressive residential area. Lots of orange/brown two story terraced houses that probably looked very modern and sharp in the early 80s, but now just look boring. An occasional resident walks along the street alone, a couple of cars pass by –...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11 E06 Lucinda Glass 46 from Middlesbrough

We start this week’s show with establishing footage from our drone camera as it flies over a large area of well-appointed parkland – bowling greens, rows of trees in large curves, recently mown lawns, a children’s play park, over a small lake, more trees and then down to the neat semi-detached houses beyond... Dropping all the way down to street level, bringing our host into view – a white speck on the pavement at first, then as we get closer – a nicer, more attractive speck ... Closer...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e5 Julia Green 56

We fade in on high street – plenty of people around, obviously not during the Coronavirus lockdown. The camera swings around to face a bank, then moves in through the doors – past a member of staff on the front desk who waves at whoever is holding the camera (clearly knowing them) ... The camera moves past a line of customers and up to one of the cash windows ... The clerk behind the window looks up... She’s middle-aged, with a tired, almost ‘loose’ looking face – one of those big mouths...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e20 Tina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re looking at a sandy beach on a perfect summer’s day – small waves rolling...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e7 Siobhan

Series 4, Episode 7: SIOBHAN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re in the middle of a busy food-court - restaurants...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e1 Sammy Murty

We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E01 Christina Bruce 42 from Belfast

With series 12 completed, we roll straight through into series 13 - the same hosts, doing the same things all over again ... Aren’t we getting bored of this yet? Well, it appears not ... So... We start this week’s show with establishing shots of quiet suburban streets – semi-detached homes, very middle class and safe... And then, stepping into frame from the side, moving from behind the camera to infront - this week’s host ... Still the nation’s least likely sex symbol – short, fat,...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e15 Donna Ferry 51

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e8 Rosie

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e9 Shelly

Series 4, Episode 9: SHELLEY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town. Out of season and on a windy, cold and rainy day, the place is virtually...

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