The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)End Of Series 4 Special – Rocky Retires free porn video

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We’re on a pretty grimy old terraced street in the grim northern city of Gateshead. The houses are wall-to-wall, narrow and double story. Brick walled, with a front door and a single window on the ground level, two windows on the upper level, and an almost pointless one-meter front ‘yard’, before a low brick wall and then the pavement. The side of the road is nose-to-tail with parked cars.

Walking toward us, the familiar figure of our hostess, Charley. It’s a lovely day (by the standards of Gateshead), and she is dressed very nicely in a strapless white mini-dress, the tops of her fake boobs curving perfectly, not jiggling too much as she walks (partly because the dress is holding them in place, partly because they are filled with pretty solid saline bags). Her chest tattoo, baring the words “WORLD’S GREATEST DOGWHORE”, and the chain of little dog’s paws running up her leg and disappearing into her skirt mid-thigh, leave little to the imagination about this woman.

She speaks as she approaches. “Four years ago, we introduced the world to a new star… A star who with his first television appearance changed entertainment, and sexual depravity forever… I’m talking, of course, about a very special Rottweiler, named Rocky…”

We cut away from Charley, to a selection of images… A big black Rottweiler, all powerful and scary, approaching various woman – being welcomed with hugs and smiles; those women on hands and knees being mounted by this magnificent beast; a series of shots of him fucking women hard; a series of shots of them holding him afterward – posing for post-fuck pictures. We note that in the later clips he looks a little heavier, and a little slower.

Charley continues speaking over the top of this montage. “Men dream of watching him fuck their girlfriends and wives, and women dream of being fucked by him… He was the first dog ever to have sex with a woman on television… And he was the first dog I ever had sex with as part of my legendary doggy-gang-bang… But – having made eight appearances on the show over the years, and having spawned one of the best dildos on the market, it’s time for our beloved Rocky to retire… All good things must come to an end…”

We cut back to Charley in the street as she reaches a familiar front door, knocks on it, and waits for the answer… After a couple of seconds, the door opens and we see the short, ‘safe’, friendly figure of Pablo, owner of the nation’s favourite dog… He greets Charley and invites her inside. She shakes his hand and lets him lean in to kiss her cheek as she enters. Both Charley, and Rocky’s owner Pablo, do their best to make this look spontaneous, but neither of them are actors - and it’s obviously staged.

In the small living room, we find Charley already sitting on the couch, with Rocky sitting at her feet, looking back and up at her. Pablo is on the other end of the couch.

“You’ve had Rocky for a long time… How long has he been active with women?” She asks.

Pablo speaks, as usual, with a hesitant drone, like he’s never quite sure if he should be saying what he’s saying out loud. “Erm, I’ve had him about 9 years, and he’s been active for about 6 of them.”

“And in those 6 years, how many women has he had sex with?” Asks Charley.

Pablo pauses, doing numbers in his head. “I think he’s done 7 o r 8 on the show, but he’s probably had about 50 on and off the show. He had had a few before we came on the show, but once we’d been on a few times we started getting recognized in the street – and you’d be surprised by how many women around here want to do it ‘off-camera’”.

The look on Charley’s face suggests that she’s not at all surprised. She continues. “And what are your plans for once he’s finished working on-camera?”

Pablo smiles, a little shyly, “Oh, I’m sure Rocky will still have plenty of admirers… He’s got a few girlfriends who come round regular, like. He’ll still see them, and if he doesn’t perform that well, I’m sure they’ll forgive him.”

“And yourself, Pablo?” Asks Charley. “I think the fans at home, and myself, we’ve all grown to love you a little through the show.”

“Oh, I’ll be fine. I still get some of Rocky’s sloppy seconds, I’m happy with that.” He smiles.

Charley turns away from Pablo, to the camera, and address us directly. “Of course, we couldn’t let Rocky fade away into retirement without giving him a proper send-off… So with Pablo’s permission, I’ve invited a couple of his biggest fans to help the big boy go out with a real bang!”

She rubs the Rottweiler’s neck and flank again, leaning forward and pursing her lips to let him give her a quick lick on the face.

We cut to a car winding its way through the streets of Gateshead. We’ve got a couple of GoPro cameras in the car so we can see the occupants as they follow sat-nav instructions from an iphone. There’s one camera covering the pair of them, and another catching a close-up of each.

They look a lot alike – both slim, both pretty without being stunning, both blonde (although one seems slightly more natural than the other). The biggest difference between them is that the driver is a good twenty years older than her passenger.

The driver speaks first, in voice-over, with a close-up highlighting her sharp features, thin lips and slightly yellowed teeth. Her accent has a hint of Yorkshire in it, but it’s only slight, suggesting a good upbringing or a lack of pride in her heritage. “My name is Mary Hemdale, I’m 44 years old, and I work in hospital administration in Leeds. I’ve been married to Robert for just under 20 years, and we have one daughter, Melinda, who is the apple of his eye… For now.”

We cut to the other passenger. She’s got softer features than her mother, fuller lips. A little puppy fat… Her accent is stronger, but the tone is softer, “I’m Melinda Hemdale, I’m 18 year old, and I’ve just left school. Mum and me have always been very close. Dad used to be in the army and was always stationed overseas, so growing up Mum was all I had… We’re very… Close.”

Back to Mum, “We’ve always enjoyed a close relationship and we’ve never kept secrets from each other.”

Back to daughter, “Mum’s always treated me like a grown-up… So when the United Kingdom of Zoo” started, even though I was only 14, she let me watch it…”

Mary, “We used to watch the show together, right from the first episode… We thought it was fascinating. It wasn’t ‘sexy’. I don’t think either of us were turned on by it, or anything like that, but there was something unmistakably hypnotic about it – watching all those women doing something that was just so far outside of my range of experience.”

Back to Melinda, “I used to ask Mum, did you ever try that? And then, ‘would you ever try that?’… I didn’t want to do it myself, but I wanted to know all about it. I was desperate to meet someone who had tried it.”

Mary, “We became huge fans of the show… We’ve driven all over the country meeting former guests – tracking them down at work, or at home, from what we saw on the show…”

As she speaks, we see still shots – selfies and group pictures of Mary and Melinda posing with various former guests of the show. Familiar faces, often in familiar locations. There are even a few shots of them with dogs and owners from the show.

Melinda takes over, “We’ve met about half of them, and we’ve even met some of the dogs… Meeting Carol and Rebel was the best. Standing next to a dog that we had seen on the show – knowing what he could do… I don’t know about mum, but that was the first time I actually thought about what it would be like to be on the show ourselves…”

Mary’s turn, “We once drove up here, and drove all over the place trying to find the right street – but they all look the same. We probably drove straight past it.”

Melinda says, “Rocky is definitely our favourite dog. He’s so scary looking, but such a good boy…I even bought Mum a Rocky dildo for her birthday… And she bought me one for my next birthday! It’s amazing… It’s funny to think that some nights, after the show, I’m sure we were both having sex with Rocky in our rooms – only a few feet and a couple of brick walls apart!”

Mary, “My husband jokes that the only way we could be bigger fans of the show, would be if we appeared on it… He pretty much dared us to apply… And when Mel turned 18 there didn’t seem any excuse not to… So we did…”

Melinda, smiling, “When we applied, in the ‘additional information’ section, I put ROCKY’S NUMBER ONE FAN, and mum put ROCKY PLEASE!... We’re so happy to be in Gateshead today… We can’t wait to meet our hero!”

Cut back to Pablo’s council house in Gateshead. In the entrance hallway, looking at the front door. There is a knock, then Pablo leans in and opens the door. Mary and Melinda are framed in the doorway, two shining blonde lights, with beaming smiles, against the drab background.

Their faces suggest complete joy at meeting Pablo, and his posture suggests a little shyness and embarrassment at being the subject of such attention. They both say hello and give him hugs and kisses on the cheeks. “I can’t believe we’re actually here…” Etc.

Both ladies are dressed casually in jeans and t-shirts. Melinda is a few inches taller than her mother having inherited her father’s height. Neither appears to be wearing a bra under their t-shirts, and both are spotting attention grabbing hard nipples. Melinda, being a teenager, has the firmer pair, Mary’s sagging just a little more.

We cut to the living room… Mother and daughter entering and their faces lighting up even brighter – Melinda almost jumping in the air and clapping as they see Charley sitting on the couch with Rocky at her feet. It’s hard to tell if they are excited about meeting the human host or the canine talent.

Both Charley and Rocky rise to greet them. Rocky’s tail wagging and Charley grinning broadly.

“Well, hello there ladies…” Says Charley in a welcoming tone.

She moves over to them and gets a hug from each, accompanied with kisses on cheeks all-round. The ladies are clearly happy to see the host of their favourite show – but from the way they look past her, they are obviously very keen to meet Rocky…

We cut to a shot of Mary crouching down to stroke, then hug the dog, letting his head go to the side of hers, his chin resting on her shoulder. Patting him firmly and commenting that, “He’s so solid…” Melinda behind her, clearly waiting her turn with great anticipation.

Then cut to a shot of Melinda on her knees infront of Rocky, him shoving and pushing against her, clearly happy to meet another female… Three at the same time is a record for him… As she fusses over him, he rises up and plants a big paw on each of her shoulders, bringing his face level with hers. She’s amused by this and leans in to let him lick her face. She can’t resist stroking his belly, low down by his sheath, as he licks at her.

We cut away from this to the two ladies sitting on the couch, Rocky has jumped up between them and is enjoying being stroked, cuddled and generally fussed over as the pair talk to Charley, who is sitting on a chair opposite them.

“So,” starts Charley, “A mother-daughter combination, something we’ve never had on our show before… Why did you two want to appear together?”

The Hemdale’s look at each other, deciding who should tell the story. Mother gets the vote.

“We’ve always been fans, and when we decided to apply, my husband joked that we’d have more chance getting on as a mother-daughter pair, than as individuals… So we thought we’d give it a shot. I mean, if either of us got on separately, the other one would be so jealous…”

“But what about doing this right infront of each other?” Asks Charley. “Won’t that be a little embarrassing?”

Again, they look at each other, little smirks, then mother speaks again. “We figured that if either of us got on the show, we’d see everything in graphic close-up anyway… So we may as well be in the same room.”

Melinda chips in, “If I’d got on by myself I would have still wanted mum here, just for support… This way we get to support each other.”

“Have you two ever done anything, erm… Intimate… Together before…” Asks Charley.

Again, then exchange glances, then mother speaks. “Not ‘together’, but… Sort of… Infront of each other… When we applied, we thought we needed to be comfortable doing this… So… I’m so embarrassed…” She hides her face in her hands, suppressing smile as much as her shame. Composes herself, and looks up again. “We used our Rocky dildos at the same time, infront of each other…”

“And how was that?” Asks Charley, becoming quite the interviewer.

This time, it’s Melinda that answers after a quick look to make sure it’s okay for her to answer. “It was a bit strange at first… Playing with myself infront of Mum… But once we both got started it was very erotic. We both just sort of lost ourselves in the moment and I know I had probably my best orgasm ever…”

“And what does your husband think of all of this? I understand it was his idea.” Checks Charley.

This time Mary talks without checking with her daughter. “I don’t want it to sound too strange… He suggested it because he knew we were fans – but it wasn’t like he wanted us on the show, it was more of a dare than a request. I don’t think he expected us to actually go through with it.”

“Did he know about your mutual dildo session?”

Now the women look at each other again for a few seconds, almost unsure how to answer. Mother takes responsibility, again, half hiding her face with one hand. “Yes… He was there… We figured he’d see everything on tv… So there was no harm in him seeing it live.”

Melinda smiles nervously as her mother answers.

Charley continues her probe. “And how did it feel for you – having your father watching you masturbate with a doggy dildo?”

Melinda shrugs. “Like I said… I think I had my best orgasm ever… I think having daddy there made it a little more intense – like, it’s only a toy, but I really shouldn’t be doing this… Fucking myself with a dog toy, pretending it’s the real thing, with my dad right there…” She indicates where Charley is sitting to show that her father was only a few feet away from the action.

Charley ends the interview with her traditional big question. “If this goes well… And you both enjoy having sex with this magnificent beast… Do you think it will change your lives?”

Mary first – “I don’t think so… We’re not here because we want to have sex with a dog… We’re here because we want to have sex with Rocky… And it’s not like we can take him home with us.”

Melinda nods, then adds her answer, “Yeah, I agree… But I think once we’ve done this we’ll probably be more likely to try other things…” She looks from Charley to her mother, as if she’s not sure she’s said the right thing.

“For example?” Asks Charley.

“Erm… Like… Maybe sharing a guy… One of my boyfriends or something.”

Mary looks a little shocked. “You’ve never suggested that… I’m not sure what your father would think about that…”

Melinda shrugs, possibly wishing she’d kept her mouth shut… But at this precise moment Rocky decides to interrupt, letting out a short growling bark – clearly getting bored sitting between these women with no action taking place.

“I think Rocky would like to get started!” Says Charley. “Perhaps you two could help each other undress…” And she sits back to watch the show. For all the craziness of the last few years, Charley has never seen a mother and daughter undressing each other before having sex with a dog!

We watch as Mary leans around Rocky, takes the bottom of Melinda’s t-shirt and slowly pulls it up over her head – Melinda stretching her arms up and letting the top just peel off her young body. As expected, she’s not wearing a bra and her firm young boobs look quite delightful in the open. Not big, perhaps a B-cup, but pert and firm, big nipples still very hard.

Then the reverse shot, as Melinda peels her mother’s t-shirt off. Slightly bigger boobs, but a little more floppy, similar rock hard nipples.

Jeans next, mother leaning back to allow daughter to unzip and then peel them down along long slim legs, leaving a pair of white bikini brief panties in place. Mary is in good shape for a 40 year old – not spectacular, but good enough for us!

Flip back to Mary doing the same to her daughter. Unzipping, then opening the fly, then pulling the jeans down. Melinda’s legs are smooth and young, but the jeans are tight against her slightly chubbier thighs, and they need to be wriggled, dragged off. This leaves Melinda in nothing but a black g-string.

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e16 Annalise Tsaro 31

Series 5, Episode 13: Annalise Tsaro (31) – Dover – builder’s wife, loads of kids, ultra-protected, wants to do something crazy and independent We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level in front of the White Cliffs of Dover in just a few seconds – and we’re already into live-action. From here we race toward the cliffs, but just as we expect to rise...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e4 Becky Millington 32

We fade in on the face of a man – Mr Average, nothing to shout about, nothing to run away from ... He’s filming himself, selfie-style on a smart-phone camera. He looks excited and full of fun. He speaks, almost whispers, direct to the camera, in a mild Scouse accent, “Dear Charley, my name’s Kyle, and I’d like to nominate my partner, Becky, to be on The United Kingdom of Zoo – because she never stops thinking about having sex with dogs ... And to prove it ... Come with me...” He turns the...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e12 Cate Morado 36

We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the south of England, toward the massive urban sprawl that is London ... Reaching ground level in just a few seconds. From here we race through animated streets, passing traditional London Black Cabs and red Double Decker buses until we hit a wide street of three-story buildings – shopfronts downstairs, apartments...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e2 Raquel Ferdinand 33

We’re looking at the pretty but increasingly fake features of our hostess – Charley Ozvik. Her nose a little too slim and pointy, her jaw too defined, her teeth too perfect. There’s not a line on her face and when she talks her face barely moves. It’s a little like watching a Thunderbird puppet talking. A very sexy Thunderbird puppet! She’s wearing a tight blouse, the top few buttons undone to show off plenty of her fake cleavage and fragments of a huge tattoo that’s across her chest....

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14 E09 Vanessa Moore 34 from Manchester with Jenna

We begin this week’s show with a shot of a collection of impressive, modern tower blocks. Each has a different style, format, and color. From browns, to greys, to whites. Lots of windows and lots of balconies. We move along a new, black-topped road, toward the towers, noting the lack of old buildings, and the lack of greenery (a few freshly planted trees and a flower bed, nothing more). There’s an ornamental sculpture up ahead at the side of the road – it looks like a stack of cubes twisted...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11 E15 Marnie Coburn 43 from Blackburn

We start this week’s show with a drone shot, flying over endless terraces streets of old homes. Black roofs, barely a solar panel in sight, narrow streets crowded with parked cars... Then we cut to ground level in one of those narrow streets, seeing the cars parked on the pavement on either side, giving just enough room for another car to squeeze through. Terraced two-story houses line either side of the street, behind small walls that protect about a meter of concrete rather than a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e9 Shelly

Series 4, Episode 9: SHELLEY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town. Out of season and on a windy, cold and rainy day, the place is virtually...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11 E06 Lucinda Glass 46 from Middlesbrough

We start this week’s show with establishing footage from our drone camera as it flies over a large area of well-appointed parkland – bowling greens, rows of trees in large curves, recently mown lawns, a children’s play park, over a small lake, more trees and then down to the neat semi-detached houses beyond... Dropping all the way down to street level, bringing our host into view – a white speck on the pavement at first, then as we get closer – a nicer, more attractive speck ... Closer...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e5 Julia Green 56

We fade in on high street – plenty of people around, obviously not during the Coronavirus lockdown. The camera swings around to face a bank, then moves in through the doors – past a member of staff on the front desk who waves at whoever is holding the camera (clearly knowing them) ... The camera moves past a line of customers and up to one of the cash windows ... The clerk behind the window looks up... She’s middle-aged, with a tired, almost ‘loose’ looking face – one of those big mouths...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess7e16 Susan Morgan 22

Series 7, Episode 16: Susan Morgan (22), from Loughborough Fade up on a mini-montage of various young people playing tennis – young boys and girls, and teenagers, playing hard, practicing, being coached – at a large complex of tennis courts. A little cutaway to a sign shows us that we are at “The DAN MASKELL Tennis Centre”. We end the montage watching a particular young lady – slightly older, and considerably more ‘developed’ than the other young ladies we’ve seen playing. The focus of our...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e8 Rosie

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e8 Renae Russell 30

We begin this week’s episode in the middle of a sex scene ... No dogs here though – just two slim, young, attractive women – near naked (they each have stockings and suspenders, one is still wearing a bra) ... Rolling around on a big white bed, kissing passionately, tongues pushing into each other’s mouths – mouths open so we can see the wet contacts, tongues wrestling in a very show-offy way ... They are clearly aware of the camera. We recognise the bra-less woman by the line of dog-paw...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e7 Daniella 26 unemployed from Leicester

Series 3, Episode 7: Daniella We establish with a shot of a long, narrow terrace of two-story homes. High angle, drone footage. Not the prettiest suburb. Pretty rough. Nothing much to look at. Then we’re in the back garden of one of those two-story homes. It’s cruel to say, but this week’s subject is nothing special to look at either. You’d walk past her in the street without giving a second look. A plain round face dominated by thick rimmed spectacles and framed with thick dark hair in a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e15 Ellen Rankin 60 Piggy fun

Series 9, Episode 15: Ellen Rankin (60), from Stirling We fade in on a business park – a collection of small, modern, one and two story buildings, small well-kept shrubberies and flower-beds around them all, then narrow roads (double yellow lines on both sides to stop blockages) ... It’s a grey day and the roads and buildings look like they’ve been rained on very recently. We move along the road between two of these units, toward a particularly unimpressive and anonymous looking building –...

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