The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)s5e4: Kathy free porn video

This is a FigCaption - special HTML5 tag for Image (like short description, you can remove it)

Series 5, Episode 4: Kathy Regis

We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment, a little longer than normal, then our cartoon Charley arrives, a little out of breath, giggles, then beckons us to follow her as she falls toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the North Sea, off the north-east coast, in just a few seconds.

We chase Charley all the way, looking up her skirt as we race toward the coast, past cartoon fishing boats bobbing on the real sea, then up the Humber estuary to a huge cartoon Humber Bridge, then a sharp right turn and whizzing along above the road into a low-rise city. Welcome to Hull.

Then we’re racing toward suburban shopping centre – a large branch of a popular supermarket (their logo digitized, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out which it is). Cartoon Charley turns to face us, flying backwards as we race through the car park, mixing through from the animation to the real-world. Charley holds her arms out to present us with our next guest – a not too slim, middle-aged woman standing in the entrance in a staff uniform. We come to a sudden halt infront of her.

Short reddish-brown hair frames a round face. She’s got bright eyes and a friendly smile. She’s nowhere near beautiful, but she’s not unattractive either. She possibly would have turned heads a decade, or two, ago.

She speaks in a well-practiced but nervous manner, “Hello and welcome to the United Kingdom of Zoo ... My name is Kathy Regis, I’m 46 year old, I work in customer services, and ... I think I want to have sex with a dog!”

We cut to a montage of her serving customers inside ASDA. This is intercut with footage of her being interviewed in close-up at her home, and occasional photographs of her ex-husband, her wedding day, her family, children, etc.

She monologues her story over the top of these clips.

“I married Michael when I was still quite young, and I think it’s safe to say I made a bit of a mistake. I stuck it out for over 20 years, but he wasn’t really a nice man at all. He used to beat me, shout at me. Nothing I did was ever good enough. We had two kids, he never hit them, but he shouted at them all the time. They didn’t even cry when he died ... I don’t think they’ve ever been to his grave ... I only went so I could spit on his coffin when they buried him ... That was 3 years ago, and I haven’t looked back.”

“My sex life ... Well, I only ever had sex with him. I won’t lie, he wasn’t bad in bed, although I’ve got nothing to compare him to, but, you know – he got the job done. It was pleasurable while it lasted, but afterwards there would always be some criticism from him about how I looked or what I did ... He was just this fat hairy bastard, but he complained about me putting on a little weight, or not shaving my legs ... Any little complaint, he always made them.”

“I’ve never found dogs attractive. They don’t turn me on. I’ve never watched dogporn or anything like that ... But I was talking to a friend of mine about sex, joking that I didn’t want to have anything to do with men after Michael, and she said I could do better than him - that even a dog would be a step up ... And I don’t know why, but the thought stuck in my head. I’d seen your show a few times, never been a big fan or anything like that, just seen a couple. Thought the women were a bit desperate and that ... Then I thought ... I’M a bit desperate ... And suddenly I was a convert ... I wanted to have sex with a dog, just to see how a dog could compare to Michael...”

We end of a wistful smile, he clearly wondering how sex with a dog will compare to sex with an abusive husband.

We cut to our studios in Manchester ... At the moment it’s the standard empty double bed, carpet/matt rolled out underneath to make this look more like a bedroom. Lights and cameras are in place, and our crew seems ready to film. There’s no sign of any of our ‘talent’ though.

We cut to the street outside and see a car pulling up at the entrance our carpark, pausing, Kathy in the driving seat, peering out as if she’s not sure she should drive in, then reacting to being waved in by our cameraman, and pulling in. As there aren’t any empty spaces, she pulls up carefully behind the last car in the row, right up to its bumper, almost touching.

The driver side door opens, and she gets out, looking a little unsure of herself, then straightening up and taking a deep breath, before stepping away from the car and shutting the door, then heading into the studios (apparently following a direction from off camera).

Inside, we see Kathy signing in at reception, joking with Riley that she hopes she’s on time. Riley calms her, saying that she’s only a few minutes late. Most weeks we don’t show the guest signing in, but this week we didn’t have time to film a separate walk-in for Kathy. Our staff is only paid until 5 and it’s already after 4!

Signed in, Kathy is lead through to the studio by Riley, and wished “Good luck” as she heads down the corridor to meet Charley.

This week Charley is wearing a low fronted top – her cleavage on show but only half of her tattoo visible, a mess of letters that says “LD’S BIG” over “GWHO” ... This could be confusing for anyone who’s never seen the show before.

“Hello ... Finally ... We’ve been eagerly awaiting your arrival ... I’m Charley Ozvik...”

Kathy gives Charley a polite hug and cheek kiss, introducing herself a little shyly as, “I’m Kathy ... I’m sorry I’m late, I hope I didn’t cause any problems...”

Charley is full of niceness, “Of course not, you’re the star today – we’ll always wait for our star!”

Kathy isn’t used to people being nice and patient with her, so her face brightens up with a genuinely happy smile.

Charley continues, “And we’ve got a lovely big hairy animal through this door who is going to treat you like the star you are...”

Kathy takes a big breath as Charley mentions the ‘big hairy animal’, almost as if the reality of what she’s here for has just hit home. “Excellent...” She says, without too much conviction.

Charley takes Kathy’s hands and faces right up to her, face to face... “Now, I have to confirm with you ... Are you ready for today?” She pauses. “Because once you step through this door, your life will change forever ... Are you ready for this?”

Kathy takes a deep breath, looking very nervous, then nods. “Yes. I’m ready.”

We cut to the studio and find Kathy sitting on the edge of the bed wearing a white towelling bath robe. On the day of filming she was extremely nervous and self-conscious about her body, and we allowed her to undress off camera and wear the robe for the start of the scene.

Right now, the front of the robe is closed-up tight, right up to the neck and under her chin, she’s showing off less flesh than when she arrived in her street clothes. She’s got her knees together and her feet hanging over the edge of the bed – her shoe-less feet are visible, as are her hands, and her head, but everything else is pretty much covered up. She looks scared but forces a smile for the camera.

We hear the main loading door to the studio creaking open and see Kathy look away toward it – more fear, a gulp – then we cut to see what she’s seen...

Small, mean and muscly – heaving against the chain around his neck – a tan coloured dog, with a mean set of jaws. He looks like he would be as happy ripping flesh off a woman’s legs as he would be having sex on camera ... But we’ve seen this animal before, and we know he’s a performer! It’s Randall, Pit-Bull extraordinaire! We can see his owner’s feet, trying to walk slowly but being pulled along behind the powerful beast.

Back to Kathy, sitting forward, holding the top of her gown tight shut, looking distinctly nervous about the approaching beast.

“It’s okay...” Calls Thomas, the owner, in his cheerful cockney tones as he approaches, “He’s not as scary as he looks...”

Charley adds, “He’s really a very gentle lover ... Honestly...”

Kathy looks from Charley to Thomas, then back down to the approaching beast. She forces a smile, but doesn’t look convinced that she’s safe, or that she’s doing the right thing.

Kathy waits on the bed as the door as Randall approaches, letting him get all the way to the bed - one hand still clasping the front of her gown together to make sure she doesn’t flash the camera as she leans forward to greet him with the other.

As he sniffs and licks at her fingers and continues to fight against the chain to get closer to her, she tries to speak, but the words barely come out. “Is this Randall?” She asks, “I’ve seen his episodes but he’s bigger than I thought he would be...”

She continues to look nervous as the dog moves toward her, dropping his head under her hand so that her fingers run over the top of his snout and up over his brow as his chest pushes up against her knees and shins. As he pushes, he drops his head lower, trying to force it between her legs, looking for the join at the front of her gown. She takes a nervous breath, then closes her eyes, and allows her legs to open a little, letting the gown part enough for Randall to push his head inside, the sound of him snorting and sniffing her pussy smell. And he does.

He’s now face to face with her little slice of heaven ... And you know Randall ... He buries his snout in there, his tongue exploring her most private spot. Kathy grabs the blankets on either side of her thighs, bunching up handfuls in each fist and lets her head fall back, eyes still closed as the dog’s tongue goes to work on her pussy.

She manages to control herself, taking his best tongue action, opening her legs a little wider – angling her pussy toward the edge of the bed, offering up just a little more pussy. Letting him lick her on and on, trying to control her gasped little intakes of breath. Moving one hand to the back of his head – partly to hold him in place, partly just to have her fingers in his hair and remind herself that he’s a dog.

He keeps licking - and licking and licking ... Driving her on and on ... The more she relaxes, the more she leans back, the looser her gown becomes – and the less she cares about exposing her body ... Pretty soon she’s leaning back, her body following her head backwards, her gown just hanging open so we can see her boobs inside, not big, not small, a little saggy ... And she’s leaning even further, her back arching, her tits now in full view ... And ... She cumming!

Her face lights up – a broad smile, glowing, relief, joy. Her body shaking. No noises, not even a whimper.

It doesn’t take long before it’s too much for her and she has to push his head away to stop with the waves of pleasure. As soon as he is off her, she brings her thighs together and begins to catch her breath, pulling the front of her robe back together as soon as she realises she is exposed. She smiles shyly up at camera, clearing her throat, “Mmmm ... I can’t remember the last time I had my pussy licked!! That was bloody lovely, that was...”

Randall backs away, then stands side-on to Kathy. At this distance and from this angle she can’t help but notice the big cock hanging down under his belly. This dog knows how to make a statement!

Kathy looks from the dog to the camera, and to Charley. “Is he showing off, or what?” She laughs nervously, still trying to catch her breath after the licking she’s had.

“He’s definitely letting you see everything he’s got...” Comments Charley.

Same as The United Kingdom of Zoo (A fake BBC documentary series)
s5e4: Kathy Videos

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 12
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e11 Melissa

Series 4, Episode 11: MELISSA We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on a busy street in an old English city - not a lot of food traffic, but plenty of cars...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 25
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e20 Monika Matysik 23 Martyna Matysik 24

Series 5, Episode 20: Monika (23) and Martyna Matysik (24) sisters from Walsall, originally Poznan. We open on an ultra-long-shot ... Our animated image going a step further back to show the whole of the planet ... And then an over-the-top burst of Rule Britannia sounding out over the top as the Earth turns and the United Kingdom comes into focus below us ... Then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, with the music playing all the way down ... Heading toward the middle of the country...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 10
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e1 Angelina Dubravka 19 doggy blowbang

With everything that’s been going on in the world in 2020, we at the United Kingdom of Zoo decided that something special was needed to end the year. Rather than a 20 episode series, we decided to really go for it with a marathon 50 episode series. One girl can’t handle that kind of schedule – so we decided to enlist a group of our former guests to share hosting duties on the series ... We hope you enjoy this special opening episode, and the rest of the series, and we trust you will enjoy our...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 16
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess7e20 Page 3 Horse special

Series 7, Episode 20: Page 3 Special We open with a montage: Still images of Page 3 girls - smiling, topless models with amazing bodies; clips of these same models at show-bizz functions and public appearances; cover shots of adult magazines with those same girls highlighted; and more ‘Page 3’ shots – blondes, brunettes, black girls, white girls, fake boobs, real boobs (but always big boobs). These aren’t the Page 3 superstars – not a Sam Fox, Linda Lusardi or Maria Whittaker of the 80s –...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 17
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e5 Carrie

Series 4, Episode 5: Carrie We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And now we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 13
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e6 Samantha

Series 4, Episode 6: SAMANTHA We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re in a large carpark ... Hundreds of cars, shoppers pushing trolleys back and forth ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re looking at the large entrance gates of a zoo ... Large letters spell out ‘DUDLEY ZOO’. A small line...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 11
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS5e11 Hannah Smith

Series 5, Episode 11: Hannah Smith (21) – Newcastle We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then our cartoon version of Charley, our top heavy host appears, floating with us for a second before she waves for us to follow her as she dives down toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the North Sea, off the north-east coast, in just a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, a beach,...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 15
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E14 XXXmas Day Special

We watch a mini-montage of Ye olde English town, with snow falling slowly, and Christmas shoppers hurrying back to their cars with bags full of gifts – and hear traditional Christmas music and sleighbells... Then fade through to our studio, which has been set up to look like a fairly unconvincing Santa’s Grotto – with a couple of comfortable couches arranged infront of a large (fake) fireplace, and an over decorated Christmas tree, which is stacked with presents. On one couch – two sex...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 25
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e12 Cate Morado 36

We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the south of England, toward the massive urban sprawl that is London ... Reaching ground level in just a few seconds. From here we race through animated streets, passing traditional London Black Cabs and red Double Decker buses until we hit a wide street of three-story buildings – shopfronts downstairs, apartments...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 19
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e2 Raquel Ferdinand 33

We’re looking at the pretty but increasingly fake features of our hostess – Charley Ozvik. Her nose a little too slim and pointy, her jaw too defined, her teeth too perfect. There’s not a line on her face and when she talks her face barely moves. It’s a little like watching a Thunderbird puppet talking. A very sexy Thunderbird puppet! She’s wearing a tight blouse, the top few buttons undone to show off plenty of her fake cleavage and fragments of a huge tattoo that’s across her chest....

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 14
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e3 Robyn

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... Then we’re looking down on a busy motorway – cars flying by at 70-80-90mph ... A sign by the road indicates that this is the A127, and that the next turn-off is to...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 20
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e21 The Portsmouth Womens Institute

Series 6, Episode 20 The Portsmouth Women’s Institute (ages 50-60), from Portsmouth We open with a very simple and idyllic establishing shot of the front of an unobtrusive building with a little square of grass around it. A sign reads, “PORTSMOUTH WOMEN’S INSTITUTE” A small car park is half filled with sensible middle-class cars a Volvo, an Audi, a nice VW, etc. Trees rustle as the wind blows through them. Very safe violin music plays on the soundtrack and then The needle on the record...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 17
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e12 Linda

Series 4, Episode 12: LINDA We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re on a country road, there’s a building 50 yards away in the distance – high fences all...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 14
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e14 Lauren

Series 4, Episode 14: LAUREN We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new - we’re in a semi-industrial, run down old part of town. Clearly an area that’s seen better days. Half of the factory units/shops around here are locked up with ‘TO LET’ signs stating, ‘LOW RENT’. Despite being half closed, there’s a good number of vans driving...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 18
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e19 Tiffany Black 36

Series 5, Episode 19 - Tiffany Black (36) We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – just long enough to notice that this week the shot includes lines of longitude and latitude ... Then we fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the country, staying on the zero-degree line of latitude ... Dropping toward the south, toward the huge urban spread of London ... Staying on that imaginary line – right into...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 15
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e9 Tara Carver

Series 5, Episode 9: Tara Carver (59) – Edinburgh We open with our standard sequence – a high altitude image of the United Kingdom. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy caricature of our host, Charley, floating infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping toward the ground, heading in...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 11
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14 E09 Vanessa Moore 34 from Manchester with Jenna

We begin this week’s show with a shot of a collection of impressive, modern tower blocks. Each has a different style, format, and color. From browns, to greys, to whites. Lots of windows and lots of balconies. We move along a new, black-topped road, toward the towers, noting the lack of old buildings, and the lack of greenery (a few freshly planted trees and a flower bed, nothing more). There’s an ornamental sculpture up ahead at the side of the road – it looks like a stack of cubes twisted...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 12
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e1 Elizabeth

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Then we’re in a large carpark ... Hundreds of cars, shoppers pushing trolleys back...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 11
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e17 Penelope

“The United Kingdom of Zoo – Series 4, Episode 18: Penelope” by Luke Ozvik Series 4, Episode 18: PENELOPE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something familiar... A narrow single car width country road, leading through an area of barren, rolling, grassy hills. Dry stone walls rise about 3 feet on either side of the narrow road. A few cows...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 12
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e16 Annalise Tsaro 31

Series 5, Episode 13: Annalise Tsaro (31) – Dover – builder’s wife, loads of kids, ultra-protected, wants to do something crazy and independent We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level in front of the White Cliffs of Dover in just a few seconds – and we’re already into live-action. From here we race toward the cliffs, but just as we expect to rise...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 16
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e4 Becky Millington 32

We fade in on the face of a man – Mr Average, nothing to shout about, nothing to run away from ... He’s filming himself, selfie-style on a smart-phone camera. He looks excited and full of fun. He speaks, almost whispers, direct to the camera, in a mild Scouse accent, “Dear Charley, my name’s Kyle, and I’d like to nominate my partner, Becky, to be on The United Kingdom of Zoo – because she never stops thinking about having sex with dogs ... And to prove it ... Come with me...” He turns the...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 17
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11 E15 Marnie Coburn 43 from Blackburn

We start this week’s show with a drone shot, flying over endless terraces streets of old homes. Black roofs, barely a solar panel in sight, narrow streets crowded with parked cars... Then we cut to ground level in one of those narrow streets, seeing the cars parked on the pavement on either side, giving just enough room for another car to squeeze through. Terraced two-story houses line either side of the street, behind small walls that protect about a meter of concrete rather than a...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 23
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e15 Kimberly

“The United Kingdom of Zoo – Series 4, Episode 14: Kimberly” by Luke Ozvik Series 4, Episode 14: KIMBERLY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking down on a busy motorway – cars flying by at 70-80-90mph ... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old-fashioned English resort town ... Finally, we’re in a quiet, narrow residential street, late at night, outside a traditional English pub. White walls and black...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 14
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e18 Rachael

Series 4, Episode 18: RACHAEL We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... A large sewage treatment plant. A mini montage of big circular pools of household waste, being chewed up and cleaned by large rotating mechanical arms ... It looks like it smells terrible. The occasional member of staff, checking equipment, wearing full overalls...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 13
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e16 Ava Marvaux 22

from Tottenham, London. We fade in on our hostess, Charley. She’s skirting that territory between sexy and strange. With her heavily botoxed face, obviously fake bolt-on boobs, and all those tattoos on her chest, her legs, her arms ... All wrapped up in too-small clothes, showing off as much flesh as possible – mini-skirt, sleeveless low-cut top. She’s strange, but she’s ours... We’re on a wide grey street, black fences on either side, nothing beyond them on one side, a blue storage...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 11
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e19 Belinda

Series 4, Episode 19: Belinda We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... We’re in an unimpressive residential area. Lots of orange/brown two story terraced houses that probably looked very modern and sharp in the early 80s, but now just look boring. An occasional resident walks along the street alone, a couple of cars pass by –...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 15
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11 E06 Lucinda Glass 46 from Middlesbrough

We start this week’s show with establishing footage from our drone camera as it flies over a large area of well-appointed parkland – bowling greens, rows of trees in large curves, recently mown lawns, a children’s play park, over a small lake, more trees and then down to the neat semi-detached houses beyond... Dropping all the way down to street level, bringing our host into view – a white speck on the pavement at first, then as we get closer – a nicer, more attractive speck ... Closer...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 13
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e5 Julia Green 56

We fade in on high street – plenty of people around, obviously not during the Coronavirus lockdown. The camera swings around to face a bank, then moves in through the doors – past a member of staff on the front desk who waves at whoever is holding the camera (clearly knowing them) ... The camera moves past a line of customers and up to one of the cash windows ... The clerk behind the window looks up... She’s middle-aged, with a tired, almost ‘loose’ looking face – one of those big mouths...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 21
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e20 Tina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re looking at a sandy beach on a perfect summer’s day – small waves rolling...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 14
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e7 Siobhan

Series 4, Episode 7: SIOBHAN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re in the middle of a busy food-court - restaurants...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 11
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e1 Sammy Murty

We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 16
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 15
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 16
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 17
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 13
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E01 Christina Bruce 42 from Belfast

With series 12 completed, we roll straight through into series 13 - the same hosts, doing the same things all over again ... Aren’t we getting bored of this yet? Well, it appears not ... So... We start this week’s show with establishing shots of quiet suburban streets – semi-detached homes, very middle class and safe... And then, stepping into frame from the side, moving from behind the camera to infront - this week’s host ... Still the nation’s least likely sex symbol – short, fat,...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 15
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 12
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 18
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 12
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 11
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 13
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 13
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 20
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 12
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 28
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 18
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 14
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 10
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 11
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 15
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
  • 0
  • 11
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 16
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 8
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

3 years ago
  • 0
  • 17
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e15 Donna Ferry 51

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 9
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e8 Rosie

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...

2 years ago
  • 0
  • 13
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e9 Shelly

Series 4, Episode 9: SHELLEY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town. Out of season and on a windy, cold and rainy day, the place is virtually...

4 years ago
  • 0
  • 13
  • 0

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

Porn Trends