The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e16 Olivia
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The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)s6e13: Caterina Ireland (42) - Bug Heaven free porn video
from Southall, London
We fade in on the familiar scene of Charley sitting at her editing station, watching something that we can’t quite see on the monitors behind her. There’s a naked a woman on screen, on her back, legs spread, and she’s letting out a high-pitched squeal. It’s all out of focus because we’re actually looking at Charley...
She turns to face us – blocking the view of the screens on her desk. Smiling broadly, her expensive dental is almost bright enough to distract us from her colourfully tattooed cleavage, which is on display in a casual, but low cut, loose top.
“Hello, and welcome to another lock-down edition of the show ... I’m Charley Ozvik, and once again, I have something different for you to look at. This week another of our long-time viewers has provided us with some very dirty, and highly unusual material, and saved me another few hours on the road ... Some viewers may find what we have for you today to be a little disgusting, but sometimes you have step outside your comfort zone – and look at something new ... So without further ado – let’s go daan saaf...” – Charley insists on using her poor excuse for a Cockney accent when referring to London – “ ... And meet the latest applicant for immigration to ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’...”
We cut to regular home video grade footage of the back garden of a very nice suburban home – very middle class and safe. The house itself is detached, and two storeys high with a high-pitched roof.
We pan around to look at the garden itself, and find a slim looking woman in a summer dress and a big straw hat, on her knees, facing away from us, gardening. We move up close to her, coming around to look at her and the garden she is digging with a little trowel.
We hear a voice from behind the camera – male, middle-aged, well spoken. He asks her, in a very knowing tone, “Found something, dear?”.
The woman, slim to the point that we can see her collar bones and the top of her sternum, bony shoulders ... Skinny – not to an unhealthy level, but she could certainly use a decent meal! She’s pretty, in a freckly, healthy lady in the country kind of a way – with a very wide mouth and (under that straw hat) a mass of dark frizzy hair.
She looks up into the camera and smiles broadly, showing off her blinding white teeth. She speaks with a very posh accent... “Yes ... I’ve found some little chappies...” She raises her dirty hand to show us a few little woodlice, running around happily on her palm, tiny legs rippling along their undersides... “Aren’t they sweet?” She asks. We pause to watch them running around for a few seconds. Many of our viewers will no doubt be looking beyond the bugs and her hand, and down the front of that summer dress – checking out her boobs inside (there’s no bra to block our view). The boobs aren’t big, and they are spaced widely on her chest, but they are there. Those who look very carefully will catch a brief view of a nipple.
Cut to a shot of the woman sitting on the couch in her lounge room, a man sitting beside her. She’s still in her summer dress, but the straw hat is gone – her hair really is big and wild.
She speaks, “Hello ... I’m Caterina Ireland, and I’m 42 years old, and I’m from Southall in London.”
The camera turns around to get a very close-up shot of the camera-man – a round faced, balding, middle-aged man. “ ... And I’m Larry, I’m Caterina’s husband, and I’ll be your cameraman and host for today ... I’m not quite Charley Ozvik, so I’ll keep myself off camera as much as possible.” He smiles at his own comment as he whips the camera back around to his wife.
“Tell us a little about your fantasy, Caterina...” He prompts.
Caterina’s smile twists a little, showing a little embarrassment about what she’s about to say, but doesn’t hesitate before talking... “Well, it’s a little bit strange, I know ... But I’ve always had this fascination with the creepy-crawlies you find in the garden – worms, beetles, centipedes ... Anything that wriggles or crawls ... If I can get one of them to crawl around on my skin, I get a little thrill ... More of a thrill than I’ve ever got from a man’s touch...” She pauses, her smile dropping to a pout, then returning, “I’m sorry love ... You know what I mean...”
We cut to a closer shot as she continues to talk, holding her hands up as if a bug is crawling around on it. “I’ve played with bugs since I was a little girl ... Always liked them ... I never realised that it was a sexual thing – that didn’t even occur. You don’t link insects and sex, do you? Well, I never did ... Not until a we had been together for an awfully long time, and the kids had gone off to university, and we were looking for something fun and, erm, ‘kinky’, to do together, to put some spark back into our marriage...”
Another camera angle, closer in, as she continues. “I was a bit shy to admit it to him, because even in my own head it seemed a little ridiculous ... But the first thing that came to mind when I thought about the word ‘kinky’,” she actually makes those dumb air-quote marks as she speaks. “ ... was having little bugs crawling all over me ... I thought that if they make me feel so funny when I have them on my hands or arms, what would it be like if they were on my breasts, or my thighs ... Or something more ‘intimate’”. Air quotes again.
She continues talking in voice-over, but we cut to footage of her back in the garden, this time laying on her back in a bikini, smiling in anticipation.
“We did a few experiments in the garden – letting a beetle crawl on my belly...”
She hides her face with her hands as Larry reaches out from behind the camera to place a small beetle on her abdomen, just above her bikini line ... It starts to crawl over her flesh and she immediately starts to tense up her abs, twist her body, her legs lifting off the floor... “I couldn’t believe it stimulated me so much...”
Larry reaches out and loops a finger under the top of her bikini bottoms, starts to pull them up, making an entry point for the beetle, who immediately moves toward the shade of the briefs and disappears inside ... All of which makes Caterina tense up more, jerking half upright, and slapping her hands down from her face to her crotch – evidently trying to stop the beetle getting too close to her pussy – almost certainly crushing it against her body in the process. The wide smile on her face is glorious – and like so many women in the world, she may not be a stunner, but when this genuine smile is turned up to full power, she’s 100% more attractive.
We cut to images of her, in the summer dress again, turning over big stones in a rockery, as she continues her narration ... Smiling as she gathers up woodlice, beetles, centipedes, and other little things that creep and crawl ... Placing each of them in a Tupperware container...
“We decided that this could be our little thing ... And set out to see how many little chappies we could find...”
The camera looks down into the container and sees a variety of crawling, squirming, wriggling and ugly life-forms ... Enough to freak most women out, but evidently not enough for Caterina – who frowns for the camera.
Cut to – Caterina in the study of the home, infront of a computer, on the internet, checking a website ... Larry not sure whether to film her little side-boob through the armhole of her summer dress as she leans forward to study the screen – or whether to show us the screen and share what she’s viewing.
“What do you think about those?” She asks him – and we see that she’s on a pet supplies website, looking at pictures of insects in the ‘feed’ section of the site. There’s a small tub of dark brown cockroaches on the screen – a caption reading “DUBIA COCKROACHES (Medium) £1.80 for a tub of 10. 12-22mm.”
“What do YOU think about them?” Checks Larry.
Caterina smiles. “I think I like them...” She clicks a few links, and finds another image that makes her smile wider. “Oooh look ... These ones are bigger...” We see the fresh image – with its caption reading, DUBIA COCKROACHES (Large) £3.10 for a tub of 16. 22-32mm. She looks right into our camera, and asks “Two tubs?”
“Splash out ... Make it three!”
Caterina clicks ‘3’ in the order section, then clicks onto the next section, mealworms...
Then we cut to a brief image of a list of items in her virtual shopping basket. Cockroaches (large) x 3, cockroaches (medium) x 3, mealworms (regular) x jumbo pack – as she hits ‘proceed to checkout’. Credit card details blanked out as she enters them and hits ‘pay now’ ... A message saying “Your order will be despatched today – live delivery within 24 hours”
Caterina turns to camera again, smiling like a child at Christmas, “And now we wait...”
Cut to a cardboard box on marble-topped the kitchen bench. Caterina carefully opening it, and taking out polystyrene packaging, before placing the first plastic container on the bench-top ... Unfastening the top and opening it, looking in to see 16 dark 2-3cm long cockroaches crawling over each other looking for a dark corner in the circular container. She reaches a long thin finger into the pot and swirls it through the insects, saying “Hello lovers...” to them more than for the camera.
“Do they make you horny, baby?” Asks Larry, with his best Austin Powers impression.
She looks up, a little giggly, and confirms, “Yes ... Very ... And scared too ... And disgusted ... Which is why it makes me horny, I think...”
Cut to the bathroom. All gleaming and white. A line of plastic tubs sitting on the twin vanity sinktop. 3 tubs of medium cockroaches, 3 of large roaches, a couple of tubs of mealworms (all wriggling and crawling around on top of each other), and Tupperware containers from the garden – assorted bugs in one, and earth worms in the other.
We look up from them and focus on the door. There’s a little pause and then Caterina enters – she’s already stripped completely nude and ready for action. Her small boobs are underwhelming, big enough to sag, but not too far - but her long pointy nipples, sticking out over a centimetre are impressive. Her belly is flat, in fact there’s not much fat on her anywhere – with long thin arms and legs, and her pussy is clean shaven – most likely this morning in advance of this filming session.
She takes another look at the various plastic tubs sitting on the vanity unit as she enters - bugs crawling and worms wriggling around over each other, trying to climb the sides, failing – and gives the camera another of her wide mouthed smiles.
“This is going to be soooo dirty...” She snarls in her classy accent. Clapping her hands a couple of times infront of her face, excited...
“Come on, hurry up ... Into the tub...” Calls Larry from behind the camera.
Caterina smiles again, “I don’t know who’s more excited about this – me or you...” She pauses, then smiles again – so many teeth – and says “Me!”, then hops over into the bathtub, confirming, “Definitely me!”
She lies down, It’s a big tub, but not big enough for her to lay flat in – so she has to bend her knees, folding her legs up until her heels are almost against her buttocks, in order to get her back flat. Her small boobs flattening against her chest as she slips down to the horizontal.
We look straight down at her as Larry stands over the bath. “You dirty dirty girl...” He says with a chuckle.
“Not dirty enough...” She says, clearly ready to get started.
Cut to a close-up of the tubs of bugs again as Larry looks for something to start with ... He looks at the cockroaches, the bowl of woodlice and beetles from the garden, the maggots ... Finally coming to the tub of meal worms, wriggling around and looking generally disgusting.
“There are mealworms...” He speaks as if he’s reading from the label on the side of the tub. “Regular wildbirds ... It says... 40 grams. Which is about ... Erm... 240 worms ... Ugly little buggers...”
He carries the plastic container over to the bathtub – keeping the worms in focus – the floor in the background, then the tub with his wife.
“Are you ready?” He asks in a playful tone as Caterina smiles up at us...
She pushes down with her feet, raising her pelvis up into the air, doing her best to point her hairless cunt straight up at the camera.
Larry tips the first few ugly little worms onto her pussy lips ... Caterina gasps and squeals as they hit her ... Wriggling a little herself as she feels bugs on her pussy for the first time.
We move into ultra-close-up, almost losing focus, as we watch squirm around and start to look for somewhere to go ... Their little spikey legs tickling her sensitive flesh.
She’s gritting her teeth, but smiling, trying not to scream with pleasure or cry with disgust.
“More... ?” Checks Larry.
His wife nods enthusiastically – and he tips another dozen or so of the ugly little fuckers onto her ... Half of them land on her pussy and stay there - wriggling around on her lips, a couple find their way between the outer folds – wriggling along the fold rather than through and between them – the other half dozen fall off her pussy and roll down her belly.
Caterina reaches up and grabs the back of her thighs, pulling her legs back further, presenting her pussy even more prominently. “Keep going...” She gasps.
Larry reaches down and runs his fingers along her pussy, slipping a couple between the lips, and spreading them a little, exposing the pink inner lips ... Slips two fingers deeper in, and spreads them as well – then tips the plastic tub up again, spilling more of the mealworms onto her pussy. This time, whilst some more fall off her and down onto her belly, or down along her the crack of her arse ... Several fall into the open pussy and wriggle around in her pinkest parts...
She reacts to this with a sudden spasm and shiver – and a cry of pleasurable shock... “Oooooooh!”
Larry spreads his fingers a little wider, opening her pussy a little more, struggling to get the right position for his fingers and camera in order to give a clear view of the twisty-turny segmented little bugs wriggling and writhing INSIDE his wife’s cunt ... Then tips some more in – upending the tub time – pouring another 70-80 of the little beasts over her pussy ... Again, some fall down her arsecrack, others forward to her belly, some land around the pussy lips and wriggle on the surface, but at least 20 of them join the few inside her pussy ... Wriggling and twisting ontop of each other, looking for a way out.
Her whole body shakes, and she gasps, squealing, unable to form words ... Shivering ... Larry moves his hand away, and her pussy closes – shutting about 25 mealworms away out of sight... “UUurrrrggghhhhhhh! Uuhh!” she gasps, her chest rising and falling, gasping for breath – overwhelmed by the strangest sensation of her life...
As she writhes below him, Larry takes great delight in swinging the tub of mealworms over her belly, her tits, her face and hair ... Tipping the horrible little bugs all over her ... She squeals as they bounce on and off her.
We watch her writhe for a few seconds – meal worms on her pussy lips, one trapped between her butt-cheeks, others on her belly, under her boobs, under her chin, on her face, in her hair, several in the crack of her arse...
Mckenna
- 31.12.2022
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