The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)s8e4: Lucy Donaldson (40), From Edinburgh free porn video

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We fade in on footage from our drone camera – numerous rows of houses packed together. Old rows, one after another of boring grey semi-detached home as we fly over them at speed, then we swing right and suddenly, the houses disappear behind us, as the green expanse of a golf course appears before and below us...

We drop down, flying quickly across a couple of fairways and dropping down toward a green ... Seeing a small group of figures looking up toward us. A few men in jeans and sweaters, and slightly away from them ... A lady in a comic-book tight, shiny ‘suit’. A jacket that only just buttons up infront of her surgically enhanced cleavage – then synches in around her tiny midriff, before hugging tight to her lovely little round arse. The skirt is barely long enough to cover her panties (assuming she’s wearing any) - and she’s accompanied by a large, friendly looking blue-grey Wiemerana dog – who looks up toward the approaching camera (drone) with his head cocked on one side.

We drop down to head level and cut from the drone to a hand-held camera, looking right at that sexy woman – who flashes us a sexy and welcoming smile, which causes a deep dimple to form in each cheek ... Yes – it’s our diminutive former pornstar, and new part-time hostess...

“Hello, my name is Renae Russell, and I’m here to welcome you to the wonderful Morton Hills Gold Club, in beautiful and historic Edinburgh...” She holds her arms out to indicate the wide-open spaces and greenery. “We’re here today, on this beautiful course, to meet a young lady who who’s keen to play-around in ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’...”

We cut to the clubhouse – the lady’s locker-room, a classy looking lady, in sweater and slacks golf gear, looking like she’s ready to hit the course – but we know she’s got something far more entertaining to do today. She’s very laid back, quite easy on the eye – square jawed, strong cheekbones. You get the impression that she’d knock the ball a long way off the tee...

She delivers her introduction in a mild Scottish accent, very easy on the ear, and she’s very relaxed about everything she has to say. “My name is Lucy Donaldson ... I’m 40, and I’m from Edinburgh, and I’m very keen to have sex with a dog.” She almost shrugs at the end, as if saying this means nothing to her.

We cut to a wider shot of her as she’s tells us her story ... There’s something of a resigned look on her face as she chats away about why she is here.

“I’ve been with my partner for thirteen years; we’ve got two little ones ... But he’s never put a ring on my finger, ya know...”

“He used to ask me to have sex wi’ random strangers off the internet. The idea always turned me on, but I never thought he actually wanted me to do it – it was just a fantasy. We used to have sex talking about it – meeting strangers, groups of them, having them use all of ma holes ... Me just being used like a dirty girl...”

“The first time he mentioned this was a couple of years ago ... He’d been watching your show, I hadn’t ... And he asked me to watch it one night, then started up immediately – would I have sex with a dog? Would I like to go on the show? It didn’t disgust me or anything, but I wasn’t exactly turned-on. I watched a few episodes with him – and each time he’d ask me about it ... Did I like it? Would I do it? After a while I just said yes to shut him up ... But I still wasn’t serious...”

“Then after a couple more shows, and a load more questions, he said that he would marry me if I’d have sex wi’ a dog for him, and I told him, put your money where your mouth is and get me a ring...” She straightens up, smiling a resigned kind of smile and holding up her hand to show off a sparkling engagement ring. “ ... and he called me bluff ... So here I am...”

“Does he know you’re here?” Renae asks.

“He thinks I’ve come out to play a round ... He has no idea I’m playin’ around...” Deadpans Lucy, one eyebrow raised. “Or who my partner is!”

Renae joins in, “Well then, this should be a lovely surprise for him ... We don’t have a minute to lose – we need to make sure he keeps his promise ... And I’ve got just the thing to convince him to do it...”

We look down at the big dog by her side, pulling toward our guest...

We look back at Lucy, who smiles down at the dog, then looks into camera and smiles as she reaches out toward us and claps her hands together – at which point we cut to:

Lucy, still sitting on the bench in the locker-room, but now completely naked (apart from that engagement ring). She looks athletic and strong - with square shoulders, strong arms, small boobs, a solid but not exactly slim midriff, and a big tuft of dark pubic hair between her long legs. She smiles at us, semi-embarrassed but apparently happy (or resigned to her fate).

Cut to a glamour shot of Renae, looking into camera – her boobs trapped in that tight jacket, cleavage begging to be explored – smiling into camera making those deep dimples show. She completes her show intro, “Alright ... My guest is ready, and so is my dog – so it’s time for us to sit back, and watch these two love-birds get down and dirtaaaayyyy...”

She unhooks Logan leans back, throwing her arms out as if the dog is about to explode away from her ... He doesn’t bound over, but he does head straight to Lucy...

who leans forward on the bench to welcome him – stroking his head and neck and making a fuss over him. He ducks his head down and pushes through her hands, sticking his narrow snout up between her thighs - much to her amusement.

She seems completely at ease with a dog sniffing around between her legs – leaning back and spreading her knees apart, opening herself up. Her elbows against the bench, her head hanging back, letting him lick ... Then leaning back further, her back on the bench, her arms free ... She looks up at the roof and just lets the dog do as he pleases, spreading her legs wider and reaching down between her thighs to placing one hand to either side of her pussy, fingertips on lips, and spreading herself open – pink, sticky and wet...

“What’s this, eh... ? Is it nice? Tasty?” She whispers to Logan, trying to get him more interested.

The beast wastes no time, his cold nose brushing her pussy, he snorts in another deep sample of pussy aroma – then begins licking ... A couple of curious laps first, then digging in – his wide, strong tongue slopping between the parted lips, sliding over her clit. Every stroke making her wriggle a little, almost in slow motion. Keeping her head back and her eyes open, a smile flickering on and off her face – she’s trying not to, but her features give away her pleasure.

With the dog’s tongue doing a good job of keeping her lips spread, she brings her hands around her thighs so that she’s supporting them just under the knees, then whilst writhing under his assault, she raises her knees into the air, offering the dog access to her arse-crack as well as her pussy – stretching the legs out as she holds them up. It’s a 40-year-old woman’s version of the classic porn position – her legs aren’t all the way out, nor are they spread as wide as your average pornstar can manage ... But it’s a good effort – and with her long, slim legs she looks good trying it.

His tongue digging a wet and slippery grove up her arse-crack and over her open pussy. Over and over, pausing every few seconds to take a look at the pink opening – as if it might suddenly do something ... Then diving back in to lick it some more when nothing happens.

Lucy moans, “Good boy ... Good boy ... That’s it...” as she lets her head rest against the bench, looking up at the ceiling, savouring the sensations ... Her body shaking a little from the strain of holding her legs up in this position.

We cut to a close-up of him licking and snuffling in her most private area – his tongue disappearing from view as it slips inside her – making her gasp every time he does it. Everything looks so wet and slippery, her pussy so pink and inviting...

Back in the wide shot, and she’s writhing and squirming against the flat wooden bench – holding her breath and tensing up – her chest and shoulders looking tight, small boobs quivering on her chest like jellies ... And the dog licks on, turning his head slightly, twisting and chasing her pussy as she twists and contorts...

And then she’s gasping, blowing her cheeks out, turning red ... Her whole body shaking and sweating... “Oh, fuck yes ... Fuck yes ... Oh God!” – her accent getting stronger as her voice gets louder – cumming hard on his tongue. Her first of the day – but not her last!

She holds the moment for as long as possible – keeping her legs open to let the big animal lick on ... Trying to hold her shaking midriff in position ... Her fingers digging into the backs of her thighs to the point that we half expect her long nails to punch through her flesh.

The dog twists and turns his head for a few more seconds, seeking the best angle to lick her from, until she can’t take the pleasure any longer ... She swings her legs together and over to one side of the bench, shutting down his access to her pussy.

She rolls onto her side, but her arse is still within reach – and the big dog licks at that – not giving up. She waves a hand behind her, trying to shoo him away. Cracking into a laugh as she calls for him to, “Give me a minute ... Stop... !”

She keeps rolling away from him and drops off the bench onto her hands and knees – a dangerous place to be with a horny dog on the loose ... She comes upright as soon as her shivering body will allow her to, resting her elbows on the bench and leaning with her boobs pushing against the edge. She looks up at us with a wide smile as she catches her breath then looks over at the dog – who begins to move around to the other side of the bench to get behind her.

She looks over toward the camera and smiles again, nods to acknowledge a direction we didn’t hear ... Then raises up on her knees, raising her arse up into the air, pushing her chest forward over the bench, her tits squashed down flat against it as the beast comes up behind her. She tenses up, bracing herself, tightening her face and looking over her shoulder as he approaches...

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We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e18 Sylvia Distin 55 from Chelmsford

We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e15 Donna Ferry 51

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e8 Rosie

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...

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