The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e16 Olivia
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We fade in on the exterior of what appears to be a wide, apartment complex. Two levels, very pretty, limited parking.
Then we’re inside, noting the number of old people sitting in armchairs or being pushed around in wheelchairs.
We move to an indoor swimming pool – steam rising into the air suggesting that this is a hydrotherapy pool. In the pool, a small group of women are being put through a series of exercises by a nurse/carer who is standing on the side of the pool. They are extremely old, and viewers will be hoping to God that none of them is the subject of today’s show!
We watch for a few seconds, then pan across to a much younger lady standing the doorway – dressed completely inappropriately in a red PVC ‘business-suit’, it’s our former pornstar and now regular hostess – Renae. She stands, hands behind her back, her cleavage threatening to explode our of the front of the jacket as the two buttons strain. Beside her, leaning against her leg, reminding her he’s here and indicating with his body language that he wants her rather than any of these old ladies, is her big blue-grey coated Weimaraner.
Renae smiles, big dimples appearing in each cheek, and begins her introduction in her squeaky Lancashire accent. “Hello, and welcome to ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’, with me, your favourite host, Renae Russell ... And this week, we’ve come to a retirement home in Mansfield, to meet a young lady...” She giggles. “Well, young compared to present company...” She recovers her straight face, and continues, “A YOUNG lady, who wishes to fulfill a dirty dream...”
We look back at the nurse/carer giving instructions by the side of the pool again ... Holding on her for a moment – noting her looks. Long dark hair, round face, small eyes, pointy nose and thin lips ... Her uniform renders her body shapeless, but she doesn’t appear to have much of a chest – then we cut into close-up, later...
In an area of the carpark to the rear of the home, looking right at the same nurse, now off-duty. She talks right into camera, a strong Nottinghamshire accent, quite forceful in tone. “My name is Edie Penrice ... I’m 43 and I’m an aged care nurse from Mansfield in Nottinghamshire, and it’s my dream to have sex with a dog!” She looks from the camera to the crew, then back to the camera, as if she’s checking that it was okay for her to say this (even though she knows that every guest we’ve ever had has said something similar).
We cut to a tracking shot of Edie walking toward us in the garden outside the home, with Renae walking beside her, Logan trotting along between them, looking up at both women, trying to figure out which one he’ll get to fuck today.
Edie tells us her story as she walks. She seems to be in a very contemplating mood, a real thinker. “A few years ago, one of the old girls I was looking after - she was senile, and she just said whatever was on her mind. She kept talking about Bobby, and how she missed him, and what a wonderful powerful lover he was ... And I was talking to her daughter, and I mentioned how much she loved Bobby – and the daughter looks at me and says, ‘Yeah, they both loved that dog so much’ – and that’s when I realized that Bobby was the family dog ... So I started asking questions when we were alone ... I got her to tell me all about it – having sex with the dog, giving blowjobs to the dog, how much she loved the taste of his spunk, all the Polaroids her husband used to take of them having sex ... She’d take my hand and lean in, and smile and say, ‘You should have sex with a dog, darling, it’s the best feeling.’”
By now our walk has reached a little grassed courtyard with a couple of wooden benches. Edie continues, “After she died, I really missed those chats ... Who else could I ever talk to like that, about that? And over the years I’ve thought about it more and more ... And I can’t stop thinking about it now. So I have to do it ... So that’s why you’re here today...”
“What does your husband think about this?” Asks Renae.
Edie screws up her face... “I’ve never told him ... I’ve never told anyone. I’ve got no one to talk to about it to. How do you start that conversation?”
Renae smiles and nods understandingly, “Yeah ... It’s hard ... But you’re with the right people now ... I’ve got just what you need!!” She looks down and we pan down to look at Logan, by her side, looking very happy and ready to go.
Back up to Edie, looking a little nervous, but with her eyes locked on the dog – and she’s obviously ready to go as well ... She looks off to the side at Renae, and then steps forward toward the camera and claps her hands together infront of us – allowing us to cut on the clap – seeing:
Edie – now naked, still in that little grassed courtyard ... She’s not so much skinny, as wirey – years of lifting patients in and out of bed, and teaching physical therapy classes has left a bit of muscle tone on her small body ... She has small boobs with light pink nipples – her body language showing that she’s not particularly confident with nudity - especially on camera.
We cut from her to our host ... In stark contrast to Edie, she’s got the tight curves in the right places, they might be fake - but we don’t care. Even in the PVC suit she’s sexier than the naked nurse.
Renae looks into camera and completes her introduction, “So ... My guest is ready ... My dog is ready ... Let’s start having some fun...” She smiles, bends forward and unhooks Logan’s leash from his collar, and pats him on his side, sending him on his way – over toward Edie...
She bends forward to him – the closer she gets the more dramatic the difference in size between them. She’s tiny next to him. She looks up at his face the whole time as she strokes his sides, one hand on either side of his body – gradually moving in closer for a hug. His big body up against her little frame. Dark hair against pale flesh.
He pushes forward against her and she isn’t able to push back – she gradually overbalances backwards and falls onto her arse on the grass, her knees spreading wide on either side of him as he steps forward over her. She lets out an involuntary whimper of, “OOooohhhh God!”
And he dives in ... Sticking his head between her upper thighs – licking at her pussy ... She tenses up, but doesn’t fight him off. She holds her hands near his head, ready to push him away if she doesn’t like it...
Down between her thighs – in close-up – we watch the dog’s big tongue slopping over her pussy lips, digging a groove between them, slipping in and out of her body – hungrily going deep.
Edie relaxes, her back flattening the grass, and lets her hands fall to her sides, as she lets a long “Ohhhhhh” sound slip out.
The more he licks, the more relaxed Edie looks. She brings her hands up to her face – and then up and through her long, dark hair, spreading it out on the grass around her.
“Oh yes...” She gasps. Following it up with a long hissing, “Yesssssssss”, which mutates into a high-pitched whining squeal as the dog’s tongue drives her steadily toward her first ever canine orgasm.
She repeats that squeal as she arches her back, her face twisting into an expression somewhere between pain and paradise, bringing a hand back to her face and squashing her nose and mouth with it, her other hand on one of her little titties, squeezing the whole thing into her fist.
Twisting her body, crunching her abs to angle her pussy up to the dog’s tongue as he continues to lick her whole pussy, from arse to clit, over and over...
Tensing up, beginning to shiver. Fingers running back through her hair again ... Arching her back, shaking ... And then – just when we think it’s never going to happen...
“I’m cumming ... I’m cumming...” She gasps. It almost sounds like a complaint – but it clearly isn’t ... Her whole body is shaking and bucking, making the dog nervous – but not nervous enough to stop licking.
It takes almost half a minute for her to calm down – and we watch the whole thing. Her covering her face with her hands, putting a finger in her mouth, closing her eyes as the moment flows over her ... Then finally putting a hand down onto the dog’s head to push him away. “No more ... I can’t take any more...”
We cut to a wider angle, a moment later, with her sitting up and catching her breath, a hand and forearm clamped over her small breasts – a little modesty slipping in after we’ve already seen her with her legs spread and a dog licking her twat ... She reaches out with her other hand, casually and playfully stroking the dog, then looking up at Renae. “He’s pretty talented, isn’t he?” She comments.
Renae takes full credit, “Oh yes ... I taught him some of my best tricks!” She watches the little nurse stroke the dog for a moment longer. “If you think he licks well, you should see how well he fucks!”
Edie doesn’t look up, just keeps looking at the dog as she strokes him, and smiles, “In that case ... I think he deserves to get his end away!” She giggles.
In the background, one level up, we can see an old woman looking out of a window – she seems to be staring off into the distance rather than looking down at the bestial action just a few feet below her.
We cut to the image of Edie getting down onto her hands and knees with the dog standing next to her ... Looking very small and thin next to this muscular beast...
She flicks that long, long hair over to the side of her head, making sure we can see her face – smiling right into camera, laughing a little as she slaps her backside – encouraging the dog to join her... “Come on, sonny...”
Logan doesn’t make her wait too long – moving up behind her, his big frame dwarfing her little body ... Stepping over her, legs either side of her and down to the floor - rather than mounting her ... Leaning forward, almost lowering his weight onto her, his chest against her back ... Front legs lifting up and wrapping right around her skinny belly, paws pointing back down between her thighs...
She struggles to take his weight, straining her thin arms – taking a deep breath...
He lowers his hindquarters down toward her rear and begins to slowly jerk toward her – big movements, his rear bending in toward hers ... Big balls swinging between his thighs.
“Oh God ... Oh Jeezzusss!” She gasps as she realises how heavy he is ... How powerful those thrusts are likely to be ... He’s not even penetrated her and she’s already in trouble.
And then he hits home ... His huge cock smacking up against her pussy a couple of times – the first hitting the lips, the second jamming between them – the third driving it home ... Eight inches in one stroke...
“OH FUCKING HELL!” She screams - louder than you would have thought a petite girl like her could ever manage. “AAARRGGHH!”
She’s almost knocked forward off her hands – taking that cock all the way ... We see her gripping a fistful of turf in each hand – fingers digging in ... The full weight of the cock ramming in from behind, driving that shaft in deep... “OOHhhh SHHITTTEEE!” She gasps ... And then the fucking begins for real...
Baring her teeth, which are gritted tight together, and growling ... She takes the hot cock and the hard pounding as if it’s the toughest thing she’s ever had to do in her life. Fighting through it – leaning her arse back toward it, not giving an inch ... It’s brutal - it doesn’t look like there’s anything pleasurable about it.
We cut to a low angle shot of her pussy – shot from between her thighs, looking up ... Logan’s massive member ploughing into Edie’s sloppy pussy ... Lips being smashed about, stretched out of the way, dragged along the shaft. Short, hard, fast strokes pumping in and out of her. The sound of her growling and gasping almost drowned out by the effects microphone picking up the sloppy wet slurping sounds of cock in cunt.
“Oh fucking God no...” She cries. “No man ... That’s ... Oh fuck ... That’s too much, man ... Owww ... Ahhhh!” She begins to cry out. Dwarfed by the beast and unable to do anything to get away from his hard pounding action.
She can barely catch her breath, dragging in a half-lung-full between her cried complaints. Her rib-cage expanding, little titties shaking as Logan continues to pound into her from above and behind, a look of intense concentration on his face as he enjoys this particularly small and tight little flesh puppet.
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We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...
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Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...
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Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...
As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...
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We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...
Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...
We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...
Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...
We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...
Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...
We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...
We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...
We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...
Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...
We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...
We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...
Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...
We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...
Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...
Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...
Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...
We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......
We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...