The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)s11e09: Lana Garland (36) From Stratford-upon-Avon free porn video

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We start this week’s show with something of a tourism montage – showing off old Tudor buildings, Shakespeare gifts, then a shot across the flat green lawns beside a slow moving river, infront of an impressive looking theatre complex ... A sign on a wall reads, “Swan Theatre”.

Walking toward us across the lawn, the even more impressive figure of a brunette bombshell – slim, with fantastic boobs and a tight arse - wrapped in the slinkiest, tight-fitting dress ... It’s Renae, our former pornstar, who never fails to impress with her good looks and sexy style. She’s leading a very obedient blue/grey Weimaraner who looks up at her as if she is the most important thing in the world to him.

Renae smiles, dimples forming in her cheeks, red lips parting to show white teeth, and begins her introduction with her squeaky Lancashire accent. “Hello ... Welcome to ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ ... I’m Renae Russell, this is Logan ... And this week we’re in Stratford-Upon-Avon, the birthplace of the greatest play-write of all time, looking for a lady who wants to play Juliet to this Romeo...”

We cut to a wide-angle shot of a buxom brunette in a red summer dress walking toward us across the park. She’s got a happy walk, very relaxed and loose – and her big boobs are jiggling and swinging around with each confident step.

We hear her speaking in voice-over as she approaches. Her accent quite posh, and fairly high pitched. “Hello ... My name’s Lana Garland. I’m 36 years old, and I’m an administrative assistant from Stratford-upon-Avon.”

As she gets closer we can set that she has strong features, a Roman nose, and a little too much make-up.

We cut to interview footage – with Lana and Renae side-by-side. They are turned slightly toward each other and we can see that Lana’s nose (in profile) is a little on the large side.

“What happened was ... I got myself really hung-up on a guy ... We met on our first night at uni – and we were together right through until we graduated ... We moved back here, moved in together, got engaged ... It was all going well ... Then after 5 years, I asked – just once – when we were going to get married, and he started acting like I was putting pressure on him – and he broke it off, and said he wanted to play the field ... He wasn’t ready to settle down with the only girl he’d ever slept with ... I think it would have been easier if he’d been cheating on me and playing the field, because then I could hate him ... But I don’t ... It was what he wanted to do – and he couldn’t get married and be honest to me, because he had that on his mind ... I can’t blame him ... But now, I’m totally lost ... I feel like I’ll never find another man like him.”

This is ridiculous – looking the way she does, even with that Roman nose, at only 34 years old, there’s plenty of men who would be happy to take her off the market. They can’t all be married or gay.

Renae smiles reassuringly and offers a giggly, “So you figured, if I can’t find another man – I might as well try a dog?”

Lana shakes her head, smiling at the idea ... As if. “No ... Well, not right away ... Ha ha ... After he left, I just decided that I needed to really, radically shake myself up ... So, rather than looking for love, I just started doing crazy things ... I met a couple of male strippers at a friend’s hen night, and we had a threesome, and I think they were as into each other as they were into me, and I loved that ... It was so kinky to have them do things to me, then to watch them doing things to each other, and then have them both come back to me again ... And loved the freedom of it ... Anything goes ... And I thought to myself – how far can I take this idea ... Anything goes ... Would I have sex with an animal? If I’d do that, would I do it on camera ... On television ... And so here I am!! Ready to do something really ‘wild’!”

We pan down immediately to look at Logan, that handsome Wiemeraner, standing infront of our host and looking up at our big chested guest, with a look in his eyes that suggests he knows exactly what’s he about to be asked to do!

Back to Renae as she notes that, “And that something would be ... My boy Logan!”

Lana smiles, blushes and drops her head all in one move, giggling a “Yeahss”, and we cut to:

Another part of the public gardens in Stratford. A quiet corner behind a row of trees. We can hear tourists and traffic, but can’t see anything but trees and our guest surrounded by cameras and crew. We look along the path and see one member of our crew standing look-out – then swing around to look the other way and spot another production assistant watching in the other direction. She turns and gives up the thumbs up – and we pan back to Lana, standing infront of us and adjusting her dress. It’s not going to be on for much longer, but she wants it to look ‘just right’ before she gets started!

We cut to look at our host, crouching to the side, behind Logan, stroking his head and chest as she watches her guest...

Then we’re back on Lana, looking around, making sure she’s comfortable with stripping in a semi-public place to have sex with a dog!

She pulls one shoulder off, then the other, before wriggling the dress down over her big boobs, over her belly, and over her curvy hips. As the dress comes off, we see a strapless black bra (overflowing with soft flesh), then a black suspender belt, then black panties and finally the suspenders and stockings. Her belly is soft, but not round, hips wide, arse big – but not fat. Below the chin she’s in pretty good shape - above the chin, well, she’s okay.

She stands there for a second, unsure about whether she should continue stripping. A shy exhibitionist. She holds her hands over the cups of her bra, an extra layer of privacy. Then suddenly, grabs those cups and pulls them down to flash her tits at the camera, before turning around and bending over laughing.

She reaches up and unfastens her bra, removing it altogether, and lets those big round boobs loose, they sag and spread a little. Big puffy nipples that cover almost the entire areola. She leaves them out for a few seconds, then covers them up with her hands ... Then leaves them alone again, realising that covering up was pretty futile considering our plans. “I keep getting shy, then I remember I’m about to fuck a dog on camera ... Why be shy?”

She reaches down and hooks her thumbs around the hips of her panties, then slides them down her legs. The gusset sticks for a second, indicating everything is nice and wet down there. Everything is neatly trimmed. She brings her panties up close to her face, almost over her face and we can see the tell-tale shiny pussy juice stains on the gusset... “Mmmm, I’m so sticky...” She giggles, taking a quick look around before taking the gusset of her own knickers into her mouth and sucking them clean with a naughty little moan.

She leaves the panties hanging out of her mouth and turns toward our host and her dog, smiling around the underwear and reaching out one hand – crooking a finger and beckoning our beasty friend to come to her...

Renae unhooks Logan’s chain from his collar and releases him – and it’s no surprise that the dog doesn’t run off into the parkland, preferring instead to cover the short distance to the curvy naked slut who stinks of sex...

Lana greets the beast, bending forward and putting her hands down onto his wide head, running them over his ears and down his neck, grabbing onto his collar with one hand, lust in her eyes and panties still in her mouth.

She leans closer, speaking to him, but nothing is audible thanks to the mouthful of underwear – and he begins to sniff and lick at her face, grabbing onto her panties and pulling, as if he expects a wrestle – but she gives them up easily, laughing as he pulls them out, then spits them out himself so he can return to sniffing at her face.

She leans into him, opening her mouth and offering her tongue – teasing and tempting him until he begins to lick at her, his wide pink tongue making contact with hers, and her lips, and disappearing into her mouth, then slopping over her face again ... She reacts by dropping forward to her knees, letting him lick even deeper, and reaching under his body, to grab at his heavy sheath – desperate to play with that big cock ... Even as she’s pushing forward, she’s pushing her head back so that he can continue licking at her mouth and chin.

Just as she is helping him by keeping her in licking distance, the beast is arching his back a little help bring his junk into easier touching distance for her. Both helping each other out.

As she fondles his sheath, the tip of his dark red cock puts in its first appearance of the week – poking out, glistening, swelling fast under her touch. She pulls at the furry pouch, pushing it back from the cock, revealing more of the shaft ... Wet, hardening, darkening...

She finally pushes past his tongue, her face glistening with his slobber, so she can pay more attention to his pole ... Easing forward so that his wet chin is resting on her shoulder as she continues to rub and tug at his shaft. Slipping her hand up and down it, pumping at a good rate.

“MMMmmmmmmm, yeahhhhhh ... This is nice ... This is hottttttttt!” She gasps as she plays with it, looking up into our camera, her brown eyes big and inviting as she looks up at the camera. Her comments aren’t for the dog, or for herself, she’s clearly playing to the viewers at home.

She keeps playing with his cock – looking up into camera as she makes the meat swell and grow ... Stroking it as she smirks. Looking half embarrassed about doing this on camera, half excited. More than half.

She runs her fingers down the shaft – noting its girth, its length ... Its weight ... Licking her lips.

We cut to a wider shot, watching as she repositions herself, laying forward, resting on one elbow, pushing her face up under the dog’s belly ... Our crew in shot, moving around for better angles. Our host crouches nearby, watching closely, making sure her dog is being treated properly.

Back in close up – we watch as Lara inspects the meat up close ... Reaching up with one hand to take the base of his shaft, pulling it clear of the sheath – the small bulb of his knot stretching the furry hole on its way out ... Then she leans forward, her big tits hanging down under her, brushing the dirty ground, and takes the tip of the dog’s cock into her mouth, closing her lips around it, and sucking slowly. Holding it there for a few seconds, then sliding it out again and smiling. “MMmmm...” She sighs. “Nicer than I thought!!”

“Suck it again ... He loves it...” Encourages Renae from just off camera.

Lana moves her mouth right back to it – thin lips apart, wet mouth waiting ... The Wiemeraner’s hard cock slipping over her tongue, held between soft lips as she begins to suck again.

Still holding the cock at the base, her fingers hooked around behind the knot, the shaft aimed toward her face as she leans in, sticking her chin forward and sucking that ugly doggy dick ... Taking more of it into her mouth on each stroke, pushing it deeper – pulling her hand toward her face to pull the cock in as well.

She checks sideways to make sure the camera is catching everything – smiling around the shaft as she sucks. Leaning forward on her elbow to take it a little deeper – pulling hard, forcing it deep until she gags, then pulling it free and turning away – half choking, half smiling – a little laugh/giggle as she lets phlegm, saliva, and dog-spunk, spill out of her open mouth and string down from her lips toward the ground.

She catches her breath, then looks up at the cock, then over to the side of our camera – toward Renae – to say, “Yeaahhh ... Okay ... I think I’m ready now ... I want to feel this in my pussy!!”

We catch a shot of Renae, looking like she’s amused as much as aroused by watching this slut play with her dog.

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Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e18 Sylvia Distin 55 from Chelmsford

We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e15 Donna Ferry 51

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e8 Rosie

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...

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