The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)S13E10: Faye Nickson (38), From Cambridge free porn video

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We open this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, rectangular hotel. Five floors high, wrapping around our camera position on two sides, it’s orange/red brick walls surrounding perfectly spaced square windows. It’s all straight lines and right-angles...

And then we cut to a shot of our host, walking toward us through the car park – short and fat, balding on top but hairy everywhere else. He’s casually dressed in a claret and blue West Ham football shirt, and a pair of baggy blue jeans. Beside him, the opposite – a sleek, handsome dog, a jet-black Doberman, trotting along with his owner, ready for action.

The man looks like a scruff, and he sounds like one too – his thick East End of London accent sounding like it’s coming through a pile of gravel, “‘Ello ... Welcome to another edition of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ ... I’m Dennis Baxter ... And this is my boy Romeo ... And this week we’re in Cambridge, because there’s a lovely lady here, that has a very special fantasy, that WE would love to make real...”

And then we cut to a close-up of this week’s guest, standing infront of the building, looking very proud of herself. She’s a good-looking woman ... Not young, but in good shape for her age ... Hardly stunning, but very pleasant and easy on the eye – with a wide mouth full of white teeth, and a near permanent smile than makes her cheeks round. Dark eyes, smooth skin, and rich, auburn, shoulder-length hair, swept back from her high-forehead.

She introduces herself in an accent-less, bright voice – a sense of confidence and fun in everything she says. Like this is all a game.

“Hello ... I’m Faye Nickson ... I’m a 38-year-old sales representative from Cambridge ... And I’ve been fantasizing for years about coming to a hotel like this...” She pokes her thumb back over her shoulder toward the huge building. “ ... and having sex with a dirty, dirty doggy ... Like this...” She points forward and we swing down and around to look at Romeo, sitting infront of Dennis, tongue hanging out, looking like he doesn’t have a clue what is about to happen.

We cut to two-shot of Dennis standing along-side his guest. From a wider angle we can see that the brunette is in pretty good shape – wearing a loose, casual jacket over a tight blouse that suggests a good chest and a narrow waste. Casual slacks lead down to sensible, two-inch heeled toe-less shoes, with brightly coloured toe-nails poking out. She’s perky.

“So, tell us why we’re here...” Asks Dennis, reaching toward her with his microphone so she can take over and tell her story.

“I’m a sales rep for a large pharmaceuticals company, and I spend most of my time living in places like this...” She indicates the hotel behind them again, “ ... as I travel around the country attending conferences and seminars, educating and advising doctors and administrators, and trying to sell more and more ‘product’...”

“A life on the road can be very tiring, and it makes it difficult to maintain any kind of relationships back home ... Which is why so many reps take advantage of hotel’s ‘special services’...”

“Every time I check into a hotel, being a rep, and a regular on the circuit, with a lot of loyalty points with the various hotel chains, there is always someone on the hotel staff, a porter or a receptionist, who’ll be able to arrange some ‘company’ for you ... I’ve been set up with a few escorts – male and female – over the years, just as a way to pass the evening ... There’s something very freeing about having a complete stranger pleasuring you ... And something very dirty about paying them in cash, then kicking them out of your room!”

The comments don’t seem to fit her friendly, clean, round-faced persona.

“But the idea that really turns me on ... I can’t remember how long ago it was that I first started to think about this ... But I found myself wanting to ask the porter if he could set me up with a doggy date ... Some local whore-hound who would fuck me silly then leave me alone to feel like a filthy bitch!” She pauses, smiling as if saying the idea out loud has made her feel a tingle ... She calms herself and continues, “I’ve no idea if they would actually be able to set me up with a doggy date ... But I really want to ask ... I like the idea of asking just for the thrill of saying it out loud ... And I’m a confident woman – but ... I’ve never had the nerve to ask in real life ... I think about it every time though...”

“And you’d obviously like to take it a little further than ‘thinking’...” Checks Dennis.

“Just a little ... Yes.” Confirms his guest, nodding to indicate that ‘just-a-little’ is an understatement.

“And I understand you’d like to do a little ‘roll-play’ fantasy...?” Continues Dennis.

“Yes please...” Sighs our guest, clearly more than ready to get on with things...

We see Dennis nodding to her side ... Then fade through to a shot of Faye, in a hotel room, moving around and undressing. The jacket already on the bed, her blouse unbuttoned and being slipped back down her arms. She’s slim, with an almost flat belly, and her soft 36C boobs are well held by a low-cut under-wired white bra. She strides over to the phone beside the bed, picks it up, and acts out her fantasy (badly)... “Hello ... Room service...? Can you send up a dog, please ... Yes, something big ... Perhaps a Doberman if you have one...”

She hangs up the phone and turns back to the bed with a smile, unhooking the top of her slacks, then unzipping them and letting them fall down her slim legs – happily showing off a pair of white panties with high hips and a narrow triangle of material leading down to the gusset.

She sits down on the edge of the bed, picks up her iPhone, and googles up a video to watch on the UKofZoo app. Then lays back on the bed, holding the phone up in one hand so she can watch as she slips her other hand down over her belly and into the front of her panties ... Beginning to breath hard as she slips her fingers over her clit. We catch occasional glimpses of the screen of her phone, seeing footage from an old episode, a curvy brunette with big tits hanging down whilst Casanova the Doberman (Romeo’s sire) pounds into her from behind... “Go on you dirty bitch!” moans our guest as she fingers herself... “Dirty fucking dogfucker!”

Just as she’s getting into it, there’s a knock on the bedroom door ... We cut to see the door open and Dennis entering with Romeo pulling against his leash. Dennis walks in to see Faye on her back, in her lingerie, with a hand in her panties... “I think this is the place, boy...” His ‘acting’ is almost as bad as our guest’s.

Faye props herself up on her elbow, looking back at the dog, and asks, “He looks nice ... How much for an hour?”

“Fifty pound for the hour...” Confirms Dennis, pausing before he adds, “Twenty if I get to jump in after he’s finished...”

Faye acts like she’s considering the price ... Taking a second to give Dennis a look up and down, He stands up straight, trying to show himself off in a good way, but only succeeding in highlighting what a fat slob he is. “Okay ... It’s a deal...”

She giggles a little, breaking ‘character’ as she lays back on her shoulders, raising her hips and pulling her panties down, lifting her bum first, then her legs as she pulls the underwear off ... She has a neatly trimmed little triangle of short, dark, pubic hair that points toward her pussy lips.

We cut over to Dennis, watching him as he unhooks his dog from the leash, and sets him free to rush at his new ‘client’... “Go on son, give her fifty quid’s worth!”

The big dog runs to the bed, but rather than jumping up, he stops with his chest against the side of the mattress, and his head/neck above it – stretching toward his ‘client’ ... Faye watches him for a second, trying to suppress her smile and playing it cool ... Then reaching out toward him so that he can sniff and lick at her fingers...

As soon as his long tongue begins to stroke over and between her fingers, she switches from amused to extremely aroused ... This has suddenly switched from a long time fantasy, to a reality ... And that tongue feels sooooo good – even when it’s only sliding between her fingers. She obviously wants it somewhere else...

She shuffles toward the edge of the bed and swings one leg over his head so that she is laid back, on her back, with him between her thighs – her pussy presented to him at head height ... Too inviting to resist...

He digs in – stuffing his narrow snout up between her slim thighs, his nose against her clit – his tongue sliding in and out, over her pussy lips, between them, like he’s digging for gold ... And Faye is caught between lifting her head to try and look down at him, and banging it back against the bed as waves of pleasure spike through her crotch...

Arching her back, gasping at the ceiling, she reaches down with both hands – holding them over his head ... Wanting to stroke him, or rest them on him, but not wanting to distract him ... Bringing them up to her tits, squeezing them – pinching her little pink nipples as he continues to slide that long tongue in and out, between her labia, out and over her clit, then back in ... Noisy, sloppy, wet noises as he makes a meal of her ... She holds all of her sounds in – no moans, no gasps, no squeaks ... Letting him lick ... Her thighs shaking as she forces herself to keep them apart and down against the bed ... Anything to avoid distracting this magnificent beast for the task...

It doesn’t take long for her whole body to begin shaking ... Her back arched, her head pushed backwards against, and into the mattress, almost looking back ... Her mouth curled into a shaky smile ... Finally, gasping and letting her feelings out, a half-squealed, half-moaned, “Oh you’re sooooo fucking good!”

And then repeating it, higher pitched, helium voiced, as she arches her back further, raising her knees, shaking harder, “So fucckiinnggg ggooo—OOOODDD!” – and then losing control as she quite clearly cums ... Her debut dogasm ... The greatest feeling a woman can have – the pleasure of a sexual climax, combined with the knowledge that you’re committing the ultimate taboo...

She rides it out for as long as she can – the dog showing no signs of stopping so long as this banquet is infront of him ... Then she sits up, abs tensing, bringing her hands down from her tits to his head, stroking and pushing at it to give her pussy a rest... “OOOHH MMYYYYY GGAAAAWWWDDD!” she gasps incredulously, looking over toward Dennis ... The smile never leaving her pretty face. “What ... The ... Fuck...!” She’s genuinely amazed... “That’s mind-blowing!”

“You ain’t even started yet, love...” Responds our host. “Everyone says his cock is twice as good as his tongue...”

Faye’s face is a picture of desire... “Ohhh ... Let’s have some of that then...” – and she’s shuffling forward on her back, bringing her pussy right to the edge of the bed ... Not rolling over – she clearly wants this missionary style ... She wants to look into the dog’s eyes as he fucks her!

Her smooth thighs now on either side of the black beast, she slaps her pussy a couple of times – jumping and smiling a little each time she makes contact with her own flesh ... Encouraging the dog to come closer ... Which he does, moving in to lick at her again, but she slips her hand under his chin and lifts his head so that he’s pushing forward over her pussy...

He takes the hint, stepping closer and rising up, bringing his paws up the mattress between her thighs, right under her pussy, then pushing up and over her so that his paws are on the bed on either side of her thighs, with his body between them, and his chest pushing up over her pelvis to rest on her flat belly.

He stumbles forward on his hindpaws, pushing closer, moving his belly up against her pussy ... We cut to a low-angle shot to look up at the pussy/cock interface ... His sheath a little low, the tip of his dick slightly below her arse. He tries a couple of pumps of his hips but only succeed in prodding at the air under her arse and against the side of the mattress...

Faye smiles as she shuffles a little further forward, the dog onto of her, his chest on her belly, pushing forward toward her lovely tits ... Wriggling so that her arse is off the bed, her back flat to the mattress, her pelvis angling down, her pussy dropping into range of the Doberman’s tool ... And he knows it ... A little shuffled reposition, and then a harder stagger forward, and he’s suddenly poking at that pussy...

It’s rough, and random – quite without any real idea of how to penetrate a human in this position – and she’s gasping and squealing as he does his best to solve the puzzle ... Then suddenly, with a silent, wide-mouthed smile of amazement, she’s pinned to the bed as he rams into her flesh...

We cut back to the low angle close up, watching as his hard doggy cock splits her wet labia and sinks inside her ... And then the furious action begins...

Like almost all dogs – as soon as he feels a woman’s pussy wrapped around his meat, he goes into overdrive ... But Romeo does it with a youthful energy and enthusiasm few dogs can match ... Pumping hard, leaning into it, drilling down deep into her soft flesh ... His cock shiny and fat, stretching and mashing her pussy lips as it rifles in and out.

We cut back to the low angle, shooting up between her thighs and above her arse-crack to see that shiny dog prick slamming in and out of her wet hole. Filling her and pleasing her ... Making her gasp...

Back in the wide angle, our guest is on her back, her arms out wide, then her hands over her face, then stretched out across the bed above her, then brought back down to her own tits, squeezing and pinching ... Her mouth is never closed – going from smiles to gasps, to silent, wide-mouthed “Ouch-that’s-amazing” looks – where we can see the pain and the pleasure she’s experiencing...

Finding her words and telling him to, “OOoooh ... Fucking earn it ... Earn it!!”

He’s doing his best to give her her money’s worth ... Pushing hard and fast, his whole body in on the action – leaning on those front paws, working his whole back, thumping his cock into her, hindpaws skipping around trying to find extra grip against the carpet...

She still doesn’t know what to do with her hands, bringing them from her tits to her face, then back to her tits – reaching one down to the wrap around behind his powerful neck... “OOohhhh fuck ... OOhhh yeeaahhh...”

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We fade in on high street – plenty of people around, obviously not during the Coronavirus lockdown. The camera swings around to face a bank, then moves in through the doors – past a member of staff on the front desk who waves at whoever is holding the camera (clearly knowing them) ... The camera moves past a line of customers and up to one of the cash windows ... The clerk behind the window looks up... She’s middle-aged, with a tired, almost ‘loose’ looking face – one of those big mouths...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e20 Tina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re looking at a sandy beach on a perfect summer’s day – small waves rolling...

1 year ago
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  • 17
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e7 Siobhan

Series 4, Episode 7: SIOBHAN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re in the middle of a busy food-court - restaurants...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e1 Sammy Murty

We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e18 Sylvia Distin 55 from Chelmsford

We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

2 years ago
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  • 15
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
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  • 18
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
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  • 15
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e15 Donna Ferry 51

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......

2 years ago
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  • 15
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e8 Rosie

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...

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