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xHamster Funny Porn

Porn that gets you off is fun, right? How about porn that gets you off and still makes you laugh? I know, I know, that sounds like a tall fucking order. But when you visit XHamster.com (Funny), you will realize that it isn’t as hard to find!Indeed, porn that’s simultaneously sexy and hilarious does exist! But does it mean that while you cum out of your tiny little penis, you will be laughing out loud? That remains to be seen. If that happens, let me know about it by dropping my ass a line on...

Funny Porn Sites

XVideos Funny Porn

Funny porn has been a lateral staple of pornography since porn producers realized they could package their blooper reels and sell them instead of binning the whole thing. Bloopers are hilarious in porn and in general, so it’s no wonder they started the trend of funny porn. There was also the 90s teenage mind that decided that the funniest thing ever is a chick with a cock, and so dudes would send each other pictures and videos of babes that reveal their cocks, and then they would call each...

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PornHub Funny Porn

What’s up, you horny fuckers!? I hope you haven’t been too busy breaking that cock off because I’ve got a treat for you today! It might be the perfect thing to give that poor arm a rest day! (Or not.) Don’t you ever get tired of pulling on that little thing? I mean, it must be exhausting! Haha! I bet that right arm is about the size of Terry Crews’! Anyway, depending on how horny you are right now, what I’m about to show you might give you something else to do other than pull your dick...

Funny Porn Sites

XNXX Funny Porn

Jerking off is serious business. It’s not just a hobby for me. It’s a way of life. It’s why I get up in the morning and how I pay my mortgage. That doesn’t mean porn can’t be funny, though. I’ve been around my fair share of porn sets, and trust me, shit can get pretty goofy. But how could it not? It’s a goofy situation. Imagine waiting around naked to start rolling while twenty other clothed professionals run around tending to equipment that’s about to film you fucking.In such a setting,...

Funny Porn Sites

SexyAndFunny

Sexy And Funny! Welcome to a place that’s full of laughs and full of wanks. The site SexyAndFunny.com focuses on both the funny and sexy as the name would suggest and tries to bring it to your screen as authentically as possible. Now, I don’t know about you, but I love me a bit of banter when it comes to sex. It helps keep things fresh. I’ve gone through so many women that I would certainly have gotten bored with sex if I didn’t use a little bit of humor here and there to spice things up.Want...

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Reddit NSFW Funny

Reddit NSFW Funny, aka r/NSFWFunny! There are a lot of NSFW funny porn sites out there, and they've been active since the early 2000s - I remember being on the old "FunnyJunk" and opening up NSFW stuff that was meant to be "funny" just so I could fap to it like the horny middle schooler I was. Nowadays, this genre of "funny porn" is still active, and even though it has spread around enough the internet to be considered a serious genre, it's still viewed as a very alternative representation of...

Reddit NSFW List

Sexy And Funny Forums

I remember when porn forums were treasure troves of hot porn that you wouldn’t find anywhere else on the internet. These sites thrived even when other porn sites were first coming out. Why? Well, connections weren’t great back then. It was easier to watch a gif of some hot bitches tits bouncing on a forum than it was to try and load an entire video on shitty, dialup internet service.They’ve been on a bit of a decline lately, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still some great forum sites out...

Porn Forums

Funny Face

Nobody ever said she was a pretty baby, except for . . . well, the truth is, nobody ever said she was a pretty baby. She was born with a ‘Port Wine Stain’ on the right side of her face that started at her hairline and split her face almost evenly down the bridge of her nose, through the cleft of her upper lip and about a quarter of an inch below her bottom lip and extended itself over to her ear, marking half of the lobe. She wasn’t just afflicted with the stain, but she had the form that...

My first time in Jamaica part onecoupleforfunnyc

Ok so of you read my previous stories you know about Darrel . Dave also knew about Darrel and wanted us to try swinging together . We booked an adults only resort in Jamaica because it's was one of the cheaper ones . As we arrive they are giving everyone drinks at the airport and the guy handed it to me and says your going to have fun here ! .I thank him and continue to our transportation to the hotel . We see a sign and we stand with the rest of the crowd but we realized everyone was a bit...

God thinks I m funny Parts 1 2 and 3

I like church girls. I guess that's my MO. Won't every catch me though, that "good girl" tendency is the closest thing to a pattern they'll find. There’s always a pattern though. Constantly plagued by it. Even if you never have a pattern, never having a pattern becomes a pattern, right? Maybe I over-think it, but that’s what keeps me ahead. I definitely have one common factor in all my attacks though. I never let them live. For a while, I never left DNA evidence, but it became too much...

Funny How Time Slips Away

When a cheating wife ill-treats and leaves a struggling poor factory manager, sometimes the very best revenge in life is to live well! A tale of how karmic justice sometimes does work out for everyone. Any story codes are trivial and only implied. Genre: Romantic Codes: MF FF Mult Humor Cheat preg Sex Content: Minimal Sex Originally Posted on SOL: 2009-06-21 Thanks to Jake and my usual cast and crew of Editors and Advance Readers! This story was in a worse mess than usual but we eventually got...

eFukt

Not all porn sites are designed for the sole reason of getting you off. Wait, what? Yup, that’s right. This might come as a surprise to learn, but the world doesn’t revolve around your sad little excuse for a boner. Well then, you are likely wondering, what other reason could there possibly be to create a porn site, if not to make people cum?Well, there are many reasons to make a porn site, not all of them have to do with you filling box after box of Kleenexes with your would-be baby batter....

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HumorOn

Humor On! Porn is better when funny. The internet is filled with strange, bizarre, and weird porn, and your boy has gone to the darkest side of the internet to find it, and I’m not even asking for something in return. Fuck the mainstream porn that every other XXX site is serving you, right? Today I’ll be using my expertise to tell you all about the hardcore, bizarre porn, and shocking videos in general that are to be found at Humoron.com or simply Humor On.Even a blind man and his dog can tell...

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A Funny Thing Happened

Prologue ‘Hey Sim, are you doing anything Monday night?’ ‘Hey Gin, Monday, the 14th?’ A pause. ‘No, nothing special. Why?’ ‘Couple of the girls and I are having a little impromptu gathering in the green room. Be nice if you stopped by.’ A short pause, then: ‘Jason’s cool with it.’ Jason was the Company Manager, and if he wasn’t cool with it just yet, he soon would be. ‘Alright, that sounds like fun. Shall I bring anything…or? ‘Nah. Don’t worry about it. Just bring yourself.’ Sim gave a...

Life s A Funny Bitch

Ted rushed back to the house in a frenzy, walking a little oddly from the cock throbbing in his pants, ready to explode from the rubbing of the fabric. He pushed away the recurring images engraved on his mind of Sarah’s lips enveloping Terry’s shaft, working down relentlessly to the hilt as her clearly well-practiced throat opened easily to his eight inches of magnificent flesh. Her ass had risen and fallen behind her head like a drunken rising moon as Terry sucked her into their mutual...

College Sex

Funny Sex Games and Sex on the Lake

(episode 7)Over the summer break after my freshman year at UGA I was working full time in a grocery store to earn spending money for the next school year. I would see my girlfriend, Jennifer on my days off, either going to her house in Atlanta or she would drive up to see me. We’d often would go out on the lake skiing, using my dad’s smaller ski boat. One weekend I was able to borrow my dad’s large boat for the day. Jennifer and I had several friends who were dating each other at the time join...

College Sex

9GAG NSFW

What do Asian girls in bikinis have to do with dudes getting their dicks grabbed by river crabs? How about nice thick asses on teenagers, sluts showing their O-faces, and memes about jacking off in the river? I know this is a goddamn mystery, so I’ll give you one more example before the big reveal. Where can you find sexy professional models posing on rooftops, comics about accidentally groping some girl’s giant boobies, voyeur shots of the lady downstairs sunbathing nude on her balcony? Or...

Funny Porn Sites

Funny How Time Slips Away

This is a re-posted and edited version of the original story, but there are no significant changes. I asked LadyCibelle to read it through and remove the all too many mistakes and typos I generally make. Hopefully it will make it easier to read. * It’s funny how your mind works when you see something or someone familiar. I had just come out of a shop on the High street, when something caught my eye. I looked, and then I had to look again. No that’s impossible. No my eyes had got to be...

One funny day in college

My name is Jim, and I'm twenty-two. I'm in college, and I have this roommate, named Ed. He is twenty-three, and always seems to have bad luck when it comes to the ladies. There was one time, when we were at a club, that he was trying to pick up a couple chicks. There were two ladies, and he actually thought he was gonna get us both lucky."You know ladies, those beer bottles aren't the only hard objects around you," he said.They both just laughed, and walked away."Dude, what the hell was that?"...

Humor

119 ITS BEEN A FUNNY SORT OF WEEK

119. ITS BEEN A FUNNY SORT OF WEEK WELL, what happened was that I like a huge number of others like to watch porn, logically the follow on from that is to watch it for real and that can mean cuckold if you’re a married man like me. Now cuckold to some means having a large black screwing the good lady. Now I am not racist, you sir could be black brown yellow red or white and it don’t bother me a jot; to screw my misses you just need a dick and a sense of humour cos though I wish to watch, I...

Funny How Things Turn Out

FUNNY HOW THINGS TURN OUT For the first time in my life I was popular, what's more it was with the most attractive girl in the area. I just wasn't normally her type being quite short and certainly not what one would describe as muscular. Jillian was beautiful, intelligent and did I mention that she was the daughter of the biggest crime boss in the region? Not that I was aware of that at the time. I knew he had his hands in various borderline businesses, two or three clubs and a...

Funny How Time Slips Away

It's funny how your mind works when you see something or someone familiar. I had just come out of a shop on the High street, when something caught my eye. I looked, and then I had to look again. No that's impossible. No my eyes had got to be playing tricks on me. Standing there across the street, was Rebecca. But no, it couldn't be! This was a young woman who looked just like Becky had looked, twenty-odd years ago. My mind raced back to my first meeting with Becky at a party when we were...

Airstream DreamsChapter 3 Something funny was going on

The next morning, Karen was still asleep when I slipped out of bed and headed for the washroom to relieve myself. When I was washing my hands, I noticed that they were still clean, but the felt a little rougher than last night. Also, I couldn't smell that unusual smell any more. I guess that shouldn't be a surprise. It had probably worn off by now. When I slipped back into bed and tucked myself up against Karen, she moaned a little and pushed herself back into me. Well, you can guess what...

Inhumanity

Like fucked up porn? Well, here's Inhumanity dot com. With a name like that, you know this isn’t going to be your run of the mill, vanilla porn site. It won’t be anything like finding your old man’s spank mags under the bed. This is going to be some truly hardcore, brutal shit, guaranteed. Two seconds after I learned the name of the site, I found out they were a sister site of eFukt. Inhumanity’s slogan is Come For the Tits, Stay for the Train Wreck, so I know this is going to be a fun...

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9Gag2

A fan of NSFW porn memes and adult humor? Well, alright, pervs, you ready to see the sickest shit you’ve ever laid your eyes on? You’re reading The Porn Dude, so I already know the answer. Strap on your safety harness and hold onto your hat. I’d tell you to hold tight to mommy’s hand, but she’s not allowed along. Let me introduce you to 9Gag2.You might be wondering why I’m bothering to review a site like 9Gag. Open your eyes, dumbass! I’m not talking about 9 Gag, the tame and lame meme site...

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Reddit Porn Memes

r/PornMemes, aka Reddit PornMemes! You know, I think of myself as a pretty witty, smart motherfucker. I spend my days jacking off to online porn and writing up reviews for my site, and I make sure to pack in a fair share of dirty jokes about dick sizes, felching, and the different types of bacteria you can swap through ass-to-mouth contact. That said, I sometimes wonder if my joke style is getting a little old-timey for you fucking millennials out there. I feel like some kind of old, dead fart...

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CrazyShit Porn Memes

Too much of anything is bad for you, just like too little of anything is bad for you. Well, I know you’ve had access to too much porn and, therefore, too much fapping. But there’s been almost no laughter in your life. For this reason, I want to introduce to you Crazy Shit (Memes), a platform with all kinds of hilarious content that’s certain to make you laugh your ass off before you realize what’s even going on!Are you going to fall over and cum from laughing uncontrollably? That’s debatable....

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My Funny Valentine Ch 02

Chapter Two Valentine’s Day Gets Happier A great dinner featuring incredible food and easygoing conversations, most of them with fellow couples celebrating love day, Jill surprising me with her ease of conversation with these strangers, became followed by an amazing concert. McCoy Tyner, John Coltrane’s pianist during the sixties, had been playing solo at that time. So it surprised me that he was joined by a tenor saxophone and flute player and an upright bassist. No drums. Both were young...

I Think Theres Something Funny Going On Here

“I think there’s something funny going on here!” Mila whispered. We were just getting back to our room from an afternoon down at the beach. It had gotten dark, and we were going to take a dip in the hot tub in the common room of the rustic bed and breakfast where we were staying. “What do you mean?” I asked. “Listen!” She said, her ear to the door. I put my ear to the door, and could hear noises of people moving about. “So we don’t have the carriage house all to ourselves any...

It s a funny world

This is a true story. Names have been changed to protect the key players.My wife, Sue, was short but very well built. Everywhere that we went other men could be seen to eye her off and it was obvious to me that she enjoyed all the attention. She loved sex. I was a bit of a stud in my day when it came to endurance so we would often have several sex sessions in a night.At the time of this story we had 2 children, a boy and a girl, and we had decided that we would have no more children. We enjoyed...

Cheating

My ex wife Chapter 1 ndash It rsquo s a funny world

This is a true story. Names have been changed to protect the key players. My wife, Sue was short but very well built. Everywhere that we went other men could be seen to eye her off and it was obvious to me that she enjoyed all the attention. She loved sex. I was a bit of a stud in my day when it came to endurance so we would often have several sex sessions in a night. At the time of this story, we had 2 c***dren, a boy and a girl and we had decided that we would have no more c***dren. We...

Funny Business Farm

Funny Business FarmShortly after my parents were divorced, one of my fathers clients had passed away leaving everything to his now widowed wife. Dad received a call from the widow, requesting a meeting to discuss the widow's holdings. As their financial advisor for the last 8 years, he was familiar with their assets.They met in his office; folders spread across the desk, each representing all the real estate and business ventures she now owned exclusively. Dad explained that all of her holdings...

Funny weed cunnilingus story

I have a funny, and frankly, hot, story from spring break 1996 when I went to Jamaica with my friends in college. There, I met a fellow spring breaker named Jamie who was a bit of a hippychick complete with cornrows (that she had done in Jamaica as many tourists are apt to do). Our evening consisted of an all-night toking and 69 session in her hotel room. The air was so dense with weed smoke that I really couldn't smell her otherwise musky pussy. However, I was kind of on the look-out because...

Funny blowjob in a nerd s car

Hello everyone, this is my first story here... This is a real one, i haven't many of them to tell so in the future i could switch to fantasy. I'm also not english so tell me about my writing :-pBy now: here the facts. I was 23 and i broke up with my boyfriend after almost 1 year, i was very sad, angry and, must admit, cock-hungry.That night a good friend of mine held a birthday party in a nightclub, we danced and had a very good time, drinking much. Aware of me being a good drinker, my friend...

My Funny Androgyne

My Funny Androgyne (c) 2005 by Nom de Plume What will Donna Mae Trix get her girlfriend for Valentine's Day? Could a cruise be the cure for the wintertime blues? The continuing misadventures of Miss Anne Thrope, by the author of The Jessica Project. * * * Winter in Chicago is bad enough when you're a businessman who can get away to Palm Beach or Palm Springs. When you have to put on a dress and...

FUCKING FUNNY

I DONT THINK THIS IS TRUE BUT ITS SO FUNNY I NEARLY WET MYSELF LAUGHINGon your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney . The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called 'Mate Match'. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers'yes',he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the...

Funny Tag team orgy

When i was 18 i had my first orgy ...it was me, my boy, this girl i had just met, and her friend. It all started at cici's (pizza buffet) me and my boy had walked in to grab a bite when we came across two big booty chicks ...we hit it off and started talking after five min's into the convo 1 of the girls asked if we wanted to fuck!!!! lol i know i couldn't believe it myself it was as if an angel came down and sprinkled pussy juices all over my throbbing cock ..... i was so shocked that they...

Man Behind The Badge Funny Face Of The Swindler

The Man Behind the Badge: Funny Face of the Swindler © 1994, 2020 by Anthony Durrant I was about to get into my car when I saw a tall woman begging for food. I gave her my lunch and then went into my car, which I started before driving off. "Thank you, sir!" she said. "You'll be duly rewarded, for I am Jaa'Dhur, a Star Beast." As I drove to my conference, I swerved to avoid a speeder and lost control of my moving car. I crashed through the siding and landed upside down,...

I Think There s Something Funny Going On Here

“I think there’s something funny going on here!” Mila whispered. We were just getting back to our room from an afternoon down at the beach. It had gotten dark, and we were going to take a dip in the hot tub in the common room of the rustic bed and breakfast where we were staying. “What do you mean?” I asked. “Listen!” She said, her ear to the door. I put my ear to the door, and could hear noises of people moving about. “So we don’t have the...

Group Sex

That funny feeling in my stomach

Being half cast boy, I'm considered quite good looking by many different types of people. Even gay people. In my native country it was normal for me to be hit on by girls and guys. But getting to NZ it felt different. I guess it may have been from the fact that I got here just before I hit puberty. I was a late bloomer however. Everyone got bigger and hairier earlier than I did. It seemed a lot earlier. And I was left in awe whenever I saw someone else's penis. How much larger it was than...

First Time

Welcome to the Funny FarmChapter 3

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual people is a sign that you, and they, need immediate counseling with a qualified mental health professional. How I lost my mind, but found true love and happiness. I got up early Saturday and spent most of the day at the marina where I keep my boat, making sure it was absolutely spotless and stocking it with plenty of food and drinks. I really meant what I’d said about spending all day on the boat Sunday and wanted to make sure...

DaftPorn

Daft Porn! Talk about having a place where you can see some of the most bizarre porn out there. Daftporn.com really doesn’t disappoint when it comes to having some of the most interesting porn in pretty much every regard. You can find some funny stuff here, but not just that you can also find some of the most extreme porn here as well. The site prides itself on its versatility, and I can see why since it has a lot to offer. Is it all that good though? Or are there some things that can be...

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ORSM

By the introduction of orsm.net, I was expecting much more. This is a solid website filled with pornographic videos that I am sure you will enjoy, since why the fuck would I even be suggesting this shit. However, there are some ups and downs you should know about, so keep on reading.First of all, the site introduces itself as ‘the best thing to happen to online porn’ or some shit like that, and honestly dude, who the fuck are you kidding? I mean, sure, the shit that is offered is solid and all,...

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Reddit NSFW Memes

The Reddit community is very huge, and the r/NSFWMemes, aka NSFW Memes Reddit, is just a small bit of it. This subreddit is dedicated to bringing you the best of porn memes cutting across every aspect of life. The members of this community, which has been around since 2012, enjoy sharing erotic memes. In fact, anyone visiting can be confident enough that they will be able to enjoy a lot serving from some time back as we as present times.The good thing about this subreddit community is that...

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MomSonMemes

Mom Son Memes! I remember it like it was yesterday. The grasses were verdant, the flowers in bloom, and the trees fruited. The sun shone in the sky like a gemstone. Clouds passed gently, providing moments of respite from the glow of our sun. Whether people were on their way to work or play, they still scurried about wearing broad smiles. Everyone could feel the joy in the air.Little did they know that soon life would change. That just around the corner, the demons of suffering and agony had...

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Little LuLu

LITTLE LULU by Deirdre Rosamond O'Conor I. Permanent Wave "He looks so cute with his long, blond hair, Maggie." It was the next-door neighbor lady, talking to Mom in the kitchen. Jimmy was on the back porch, playing with his soldiers. Mom had not cut his hair since the awful news about Daddy not coming home again, ever, and it was now down to his shoulders. "Really, though, you ought to do something with it besides just brush it." "Such as?" said Mom. "Give the little...

The Labors of Jasper Episode 18

20Jas0018, The Labors of Jasper Episode 18; 6817 words The next morning three adult red caps stood at attention on the dock, Bad Tom, Badoesa, and Runs Funny. Badoesa had her twins with her and one other child. Jas yawned and finished drying her hair. She hitched up her panties, which were falling down. The tribe had passed these panties around. Everyone tried them on. They were stretched out. The panties would heal - in a week, or so, if Jas took care of them. Jas might take...

Blacked and Betrayed chapters 8 through 11

Blacked and Betrayed by rat_race * * * * * CHAPTER 8 - Did someone say mulatto? * * * * * A few months ago, my younger brother, Mike, moved into our guest bedroom upstairs. He's 22 years old now, and has recently graduated from college. And I talked Sally into letting Mike temporarily live with us until he and his live-in fiancée, Misty, could save up enough money to move out and get a place of their own. By the way, I absolutely love having my little brother, Mike, around. We get along...

MOMS OFFSRING PART 2

Later that night after my son and my husband Bob had gone to bed, I found myself in the living room with Cathy. We watched TV for a while before Cat turned to me. "Well..." she said and sat there."Well what?" "Well, you said that we were going to talk later on tonight... ...Well?"I knew I‘d said that, but to be honest, I still didn't know what in the world to say. I shook my head at Cat and shrugged my shoulders. "Honey, I'm still trying to get it straight in my own head.""I know what-cha mean...

My Uncle Fifi My Beautiful Laundrette

I know, I can't believe I wrote another one of these, either. :) I didn't plan for it to be quite this long, but I wanted to try stepping things up a notch by having a few threads going to ramp up the comedy rather than just following Terry everywhere. And no worries if you haven't read the first story...like all good sitcoms, this is accessible to new viewers! Enjoy! MY UNCLE FIFI: MY BEAUTIFUL LAUNDRETTE by Jenny North Terry Riley leaned back on his bed with his arms crossed...

The Winner

The Winner I had been gambling since I was a kid; and I like to consider myself goodat it. I can remember playing card s w ith my friends at school for small amountsof money. It was very unusual for me to lose. Some kids even ran a book onme. Which I took a cut of. I found gambling to be a good way to make money,and with things been tight at home my parents turned a blind eye to it. Asa kid I picked up the name Lucky. I don't know about luck. I don't even thinkI have got it. Most great...

No Joking Matter Part 1

Benny Herman and Jack Bollinger were a pair who had grown up together in Winnisimmet, MA and who had spent their entire life never going more than a few days apart. They had an even bigger link as Jack's cousin married Benny's sister with Jack's father being Benny's parents' principal/friend. The two were born to be close, and showed that they were meant to be friends immediately after birth. Benny's sister was a link that was hard to ignore, one that shocked the family as she broke...

Ann s Art Project

Ann couldn't remember when those dreams started. Ever since her breasts became so large, pictures of her globes started popping up in her mind all the time. Her boobs materialized as part of old paintings and art installations, on walls and windows, in fruit baskets and even inside bookshelves! It was just crazy, and quite irritating. At some point, Ann was concerned that she was about to go crazy. She knew she had to do something about those weird thoughts. And so she decided to study art,...

Danny s Dick Part 2 Some Improvement

Danny's Dick Part 2 - Some Improvement I guess some guys are "late bloomers." As I got into the beginning of my sophomore year things started to improve. Like it wasn't that I woke up some morning and overnight I had grown this huge penis, but I noticed that it seemed to be slowly getting bigger over the summer, and by the time school started in the fall, it was about 3" long. Now it's still nothing to brag about but I notice that I'm not getting as many stares from the guys in the...

Fork Leaf Clover SHAMrock Stand In II

This story is meant for free fan distribution to TG fiction sites throughout the web. Please enjoy the story and be free with your comments or critiques! ============================================================ Fork Leaf Clover: SHAMrock Stand-In II By Dee Eon Kicking heels high after my slippers' metal taps clicked and rapped the parquet floor like a machine gun below my long legs and flouncing embroidered clover green velvet skirt, my passionate solo jig to the...

Two New Girls

Two New Girls Kathy and Susan are walking home from school. It is just after the Christmas holidays. Kathy is 11, and Susan is 9. Kathy, someone killed our cat last night. They must have tied it up and shot it with BB guns. I know they were the same persons Mrs. Bennett saw running away from her house when she found her cat had been killed. I know you and your mom have Fluffy. Try to keep an eye on her. I think I know who did it, but I can't prove it. Susan, I feel so bad...

The Girlfriend

Meet my girlfriend. Lina, Kelvin. Kelvin, Lina" Patrick said as he introduced the pretty girl to me. I was surprised but didn't express it. It's been just two weeks since the semester has started and I couldn't believe Patrick has already landed himself a new girl. "Hi" I said. She replied "hello". I briefly took in everything about her. She's fair, about 5ft 2inches and kinda escaped being plump so I could say she's average bodied. She's pretty and.........well that's all I could say cos...

When Groinkians Attack Chapter 3

"You look especially poetic tonight!" AS SNIFFER LEFT Police One, to start the first of his two days off, he not only looked like warmed-over shit with the edges burnt, he felt like it, too. How he managed to drive the six short blocks to his apartment, he couldn't tell you. He wasn't there. How he managed not to hit the kid on the motorcycle, who had cut him off, coming out of Sniffer's blind-spot they way he had, he couldn't tell you, either. Nor would he remember the finger the kid...

Jacinta part 9

"You know," I muse as I grab my morning coffee and relax on the plush, soft sofa in my father's living room, "it may have been a student shithole, but I miss our old sofa, you know? The whole flat, even." "I know precisely what you mean," Ophelia says, reclining as far back into the sofa as her extra-tight corset will allow. "But we shall return to London soon, and our new flat shall be even better than our previous one!" "And even more of a shithole!" Dad laughs, making me and...

Humor

The Slave Girl

The Slave Girl My name is Elisa I am a twenty-year-old blonde and we had been warned thatlocal bandits were attacking villages to capture women and girls for sale tomen a long way away. One night when a group of armed men attacked our villageI knew there was no way for me to escape so when I had the chance hoping Iwould not be found out I cut my blonde hair strapped my chest and dressed asa boy. After the fight they rounded up the men and boys but before taking themaway and looking young I was...

Life Next Ch 01

Author’s note: This is a story of love, not sex – an erotic coupling of hearts, not bodies (necessarily). A romance in the end, I suppose, though not a typical offering. My goal was to tell the story of two people almost entirely through their conversation. Virtually nothing is revealed except through the voices of the characters – so be forewarned. ***** We were seated on the restaurant’s patio under a trellis of leafy grape vines and a strand of white lights. I wasn’t used to the humidity...

best

XXxPoistxXx's Blog » My Friends and a few select others (Sorted Links)**CONSTANTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION**Just putting this together so I can sort out where people belong, easier access of certain friends and also better show who I should maybe remove etc but it may be of use to you too :).Click on the names to be taken to their respective profileI have started to full out a short commentary on everyone - will full up over time. Intend to add a section of profiles to 'watch' aswell (subscriptions...

First times with the best friend

Mia and I study together at the college. We came from the same town, started our studies together, but we do have different fields. She is reading biology while I'm majoring in economics. Originally, we planned to be roommates, but Mia's boyfriend moved with her when we our school began. She has already left the bastard, but she decided to stay at their row house apartment. She was able to afford it. It's an early Friday evening. I'm just about to arrive at Mia's place. I promised her to...

What a Difference a Summer Makes Part 4a

This latest installment WILL BE VERY LONG and I’ve chosen to break it up into a Part A and Part B because of its length. Part B will be posted in a few days from this release. There will be a great focus on character development this time around as the sex portion will be at a minimum in Part A. I will use musical breaks to pay tribute to some of my favorite television shows I watched growing up along with some of my favorite songs of today. Please enjoy and like always, constructive...

The Wishing Well

The Wishing Well By Deane Christopher "Come on, Kathy." Dennis Sojourner grimaced upon hearing herself sensually implore with a come-hither voice, a voice that could make a good portion of the male population cream in their jeans. "Please! I'm begging you! Stop snickering. This isn't funny." "It may not be funny for you, but I think it's hilarious." Dennis' wife, snickered, owing to the fact that she was thoroughly enjoying her husband's predicament. Though it took a...

The island

The heavy iron belts make it quite difficult to walk The heavy iron belts make it quite difficult to walk. The weight causes problems and I cannot imagine to stay with these terrible belts for a longer time. But there is one advantage of the belt around my waist: As long as I wear the belt I cannot become laced in one of these extremely tight corsetts which I saw on our way throug the yard. These corsetts seem to be incredible tight. One girl was standing, fixed in a frame with her...

Captured

I felt the tension leave my body as laughter flowed from my lips. I should'veknown a girls' night out was just what I needed to de-stress. An evening surroundedby my best girlfriends and some good music would leave me feeling like wholenew woman. And a few drinks wouldn't hurt, either. Lani, as usual, had us allhowling over her latest sexual escapade. The woman wasn't afraid of anything!And though she was a bit on the frumpy side, she never seemed to lack for lovers.I can tell you right now,...

Naughty or Nice Chapter 1

“Whew!” Belle says as she slumps onto the couch in the center of the lounge. Her purple hair falls partially over her face and she quickly purses her lips and blows it clear. “You look like you’ve just come back from a marathon,” Holly, her twin sister, says. “It could probably be considered one,” Belle quips and reaches for a towel to dab the sweat from her green skin. “The human world is getting smaller and smaller as their population gets bigger and bigger,” Holly says. She grabs the...

Meredith and Derek Naked in SchoolWednesday part 2

Back at Stetsen, Derek marshaled his forces. "Guys. Guys. Can I have your attention please. I need some help." We all looked up, and gathered as he beckoned: Meredith and I; Zach and Christa; Sajel; and even Jane, for whatever reason. Maybe she and Sajel had shared a 5th-period class. (I was close; it's Christa who's in AP Chemistry with Jane in 5th period.) We sat in the customary ring: Derek at the head, with Sajel at the next station around; directly across from Derek, Zach leaned...

Cross Country Slut Part 2

Cross Country Slut, Part 2The next morning I didn’t know where I was at first; I DID know that someone had given me a good sexual workout. My cunt was raw, I had general aches all over and…my insides had been re-arranged. In some ways I’d always found the first and last things, as far back as I could remember, kind of erotic. I’d had a good time. Without disturbing the sleeping Bill; I slipped out of bed and made a bee-line for the bathroom; I really had to pee! The sun was coming up so, I...

Alter Ego

It was a warm Saturday about a month after my divorce. I sat at the bar nursing a beer and watching the college football game on the TV. While I wasn’t really looking to actively socialize, I had come across the lake just to be in a place where there were other people. I pondered how I had gotten to this point. I wasn’t exactly broken up about the divorce, as we had been staying together only out of inertia for the last few years. We didn’t hate each other, but there hadn’t been any love in...

Shush you ll wake my son

I never seen it as deception or manipulation, I was simply explaining to my teenage son mates that men, all men are dogs, doesn't matter if straight, gay, bi or curious it's sex sex sex it's only heterosexual men that 'make love' which is an ends to a means for my unfortunate counterparts, & I can guarantee that were ever I put my cock, it's nowhere they haven't or tried to too, its a lie when they they say 'Oh, I'm sorry about that love It just slipped in there by accident?!' Testing the...

The Jade Box Part 1

The Jade Box Genni Smith 'Phone Susan,' Emma, the receptionist told her. 'It's your daughter.' Susan Denton looked at her watch and frowned. With a mother's intuition she knew something must be wrong. 'Jade. What's up?' 'You better get home mum.' Jade's voice betrayed her normally stoic approach to all emergencies. 'What's wrong? Is it Stuart?' 'Sort of. Just come home. Please.' On the twenty-minute drive back to her house all manner of possibilities ran through the...

The Jade Box

The Jade Box By Genni Smith 'Phone Susan,' Emma, the receptionist told her. 'It's your daughter.' Susan Denton looked at her watch and frowned. With a mother's intuition she knew something must be wrong. 'Jade. What's up?' 'You better get home mum.' Jade's voice betrayed her normally stoic approach to all emergencies. 'What's wrong? Is it Stuart?' 'Sort of. Just come home. Please.' On the twenty-minute drive back to her house all manner of possibilities ran through the...

Operation Rescue the New Co Ed Chapter 23

Operation Rescue: The New Co-Ed By ElrodW A young man gets in trouble and loses his scholarship. It looks like his dream of college to escape a poor future is doomed - until he sees an ad recruiting 'surrogates'. His life is about to change in ways that could redefine him in ways he could have never imagined. Chapter 23 -Spring Break Surprise In the aftermath of her last date, Tommi and Rachel have a surprising conversation. On Spring Break, the girls spend more time with...

Backlash

BACKLASH BY Vrykolakas Scot hit the enter key for the last timethat day--at least, in an officialcapacity. He rose to his feet, pushing back his wheeled chairand stretching,all in one flowing series of motions. He was proud of his strength, all thosehours of martial arts; looked like something was finally paying off. His legstrength alone could kick out a fire-door. He brushed back a few stubborn locksof hair from his eyes, and grabbed for his jacket and keys. It was time togo. Food, a...

Playing son to my neighbors

I was around 11 when the Arora couple first moved to the first floor of our two floor independent house. It was love at first site between their puppy moti and me. It was while following moti that I first entered their house. Aunty was all of 36 years old and Uncle about 42 years old. If I had to really draw resemblances, then Aunty looked like a typical rich lady who had only recently stopped paying attention to her figure and uncle looked like funnyman Kunal Vijaykar. He was chubby and very...

Incest

Some Joke

My name is Jim, and I began my story in "A Joke," which was posted by Agena. If you haven't read that yet, please hunt it down and read it. It'll help you understand this story. Go ahead. I'll wait. In "A Joke," I was torn over what to believe about Flo, my wife of 23 years, and my jokester next-door neighbor, Roger Kubiak. Roger and his pretty, buxom wife Alice had moved into the big house next door about five years ago. In many ways we'd become pretty good friends. We were of...

Quartet Julie Ch 01

This is the third in a series of four vignettes. As those of you who have already experienced the first two will know, all the characters in the four segments are inter-related. The purpose of these stories was to examine the various relationships as they develop between men and women. It’s probably ambitious for a first effort, but once I got started, I knew I was committed. For all of you who have offered comments and criticisms, my thanks. Feedback is god! Chapter 01: A night to remember, A...

Simpson porn Story I Spy 1

It was almost one o’clock in the morning, and Lisa, clad in her flimsy powder blue nightie had been fighting the urge to peek for ages. Thoughts of being caught flashed into her mind, the outrage of her parents, the embarrassment of it. But other images flashed too. Images off passionate, wriggling bodies and glistening skin… a hard cock, swaying testicles… legs sensually spread wide and spasming. Lisa couldn’t help herself, she had to look,Quietly, she opened her parents bedroom...

DAUGHTERS HORNY URGES

“This is perverted”, fourteen-year-old Jessica told herself as she crept along the darkened back hallway of her house, moving closer to the soft moans coming from her parent’s bedroom. It was almost one o’clock in the morning, and Jessica, clad in her flimsy powder blue nightshirt had been fighting the urge to peek for ages. Images of being caught peeking flashed into her mind, the outrage of her parents, the embarrassment of being caught. But other images flashed into her mind as well....

Love s Infatuation

My name is Sarah Case and I live in lower Manhattan, with three guys, Chris Cline, Jason Reed, and Jay Haze. About 10 months ago we opened a club in Queens called M57. It was a big hit and we started to make a lot of money. So they were all pretty happy, but I was miserable. I bet you are wondering why? Well, Chris has been my best friend since we were in grade school. Chris and Jay were lovers for about 3 years, until they decided that they didn’t want to be intimate anymore and became...

From the Heart

Author’s Note: A tip of the hat to member funnyalix for suggesting in a chat one night that I should ‘write from the heart.’ I decided to take her suggestion literally. So here we go… Leenysman ~~~~~ Disclaimer: All sexual activity described in this story is between fictional characters over the age of 18. ~~~~~ I don’t remember the crash. Maybe that’s a good thing, to block out the pain, both physical and emotional. I don’t want to remember the details. For a while, I didn’t want to...

DAUGHTERS HORNY URGES

DAUGHTERS HORNY URGES“This is perverted”, f******n-year-old Jessica told herself as she crept along the darkened back hallway of her house, moving closer to the soft moans coming from her parent’s bedroom. It was almost one o’clock in the morning, and Jessica, clad in her flimsy powder blue nightshirt had been fighting the urge to peek for ages. Images of being caught peeking flashed into her mind, the outrage of her parents, the embarrassment of being caught. But other images flashed into her...

OUR DAUGHTERS URGES

This is perverted”, f******n-year-old Jessica told herself as she crept along the darkened back hallway of her house, moving closer to the soft moans coming from her parent’s bedroom. It was almost one o’clock in the morning, and Jessica, clad in her flimsy powder blue nightshirt had been fighting the urge to peek for ages. Images of being caught peeking flashed into her mind, the outrage of her parents, the embarrassment of being caught. But other images flashed into her mind as well. Images...

Alice 2

Alice part twoI checked out and drove home in deep thought, I knew I was in love with Carol, I could only hope that she felt the same about me. How am I going to explain to my dad about dressing up and most importantly about my job. I decided that I would be dressed when he got home from work, then tell him what has happened, he obviously would have found me out anyway. I arrived home about lunchtime, I stripped off, had a shower and douche, I picked out a nice black above the knee cocktail...

Our Story The tale of Master and slave

Our Story Normal font was written by myself, italicized font was written by my slave. Apologies for any bad grammar, or format issues, this was originally a series of emails sent back and forth with no intention of ever posting them for other people to see. The story does end abruptly due to problems arising and we were unable to continue. However it may be picked up in the future by at least myself if not both of us. I hate cliffhangers so I don’t want to subject the readers to that. I will at...

Daughter s Horny Urge Section 2 Revised

Her mother was shaking and rocking her hips, grinding her cunt up into Jerry's face, obviously enjoying his tongue. Fiona wondered what to do as she watched. Somehow they'd come back while she'd dozed off, and hadn't seen her out here. Her father made her mother come in a gasping orgasm which made Fiona very wet, and she wanted to finger her pussy, but she didn't dare. She didn't want them to catch her watching them, let alone masturbating while she did! Her parents swapped places,...

Daughter s Horny Urge

"This is perverted", sixteen-year-old Fiona told herself as she crept down the darkened hallway of her house, moving closer to the soft moans coming from her parents bedroom. It was almost one o'clock in the morning, and Fiona, clad in her flimsy powder blue nightie had been fighting the urge to peek for ages. Images of being caught peeking flashed into her mind, the outrage of her parents, the embarrassment of it. But other images flashed too. Images off passionate, wriggling bodies and...

Early Days

Chapter One When I was 15 years old my parents went abroad. Years later I learned that there had been considerable debate and heart-searching over what was to be done with me when this happened. Boarding school was an option but my father was very opposed to the fee-paying school system, and it was eventually agreed that I should go to stay with his brother Davie and his wife Ellen who lived in a cottage on the outskirts of a town in the Yorkshire dales. There I could attend the local school...

The Princess and the HoundChapter 3

His name is Tyrell Fickett. He works under Kat’s father in the laboratories on the forty-sixth floor as the head of research. If anyone knows what Silas Bucher is up to it would be him. After her confrontation with her father and then the dream, Katharina knows she needs to get control over everything again. She doesn’t want the dreams to start up again. The good thing is she doesn’t have try and fuck the guy for information, she has been doing that already. Dr. Fickett has worked for the...

UniversityChapter 38

On reading the registration materials, I realized that I needed to bother the Acting Dean again, so I made an appointment. The result might not have been perfect, but life never is. So I purchased the books for Foundations of Law, Contracts and Public International Law and began reading. Lectures wouldn't begin for weeks, but I wanted to be a bit ahead. After conferring with Winnie, Rachel was at the Art Gallery on Mondays and Thursdays.; her one lecture – Archaeology of Aboriginal Australia...

The Chauffeur 56 The Recording Studio

By PABLO DIABLO Copyright 2019 CHAPTER 1 Unfortunate for the company, I had to consider if Mike Booker had a future with Jaxson, Inc. The recording studio was not making money, not at all. Mike was a nice guy, but he didn’t seem to be willing or able to get the recording studio running properly to make money. He talked repeatedly about his plan for changing what was going on with the music studio, but unfortunately, his plan never materialized. I decided to call him and have a very frank...

The Chauffeur 40 The Trip

By: PABLO DIABLO Copyright 2019 CHAPTER 1 When the alarm went off, I dragged my tired ass out of bed. Ronda was still sleeping peacefully all curled up into me. I gently shook her awake. I tried to get up out of the bed without disturbing Jill. Once I was out of the bed, I headed to the bathroom to do my morning duties, shave, and shower. Once I finished shaving, I got into the shower. I felt the rush of cold air as the shower door opened behind me. Instantly I knew that it was Ronda. I...

The Chauffeur 38 The Investigation Begins

By PABLO DIABLO Copyright 2019 CHAPTER 1 The next morning when I woke up, I found myself in bed with both Jill and Dakota once again. Jill faced away from my back and Dakota was all snuggled into me with her cute ass pushed up against my groin. Once again, my bladder ruled my brain urging me to head to the bathroom. I quietly moved out of the bed and into the bathroom. After finishing my morning duties, I washed my hands and came out of the bathroom looking at my two lovelies still...

My job in a Red Room the exercise

Chapter 1: - Terrible Proposal - Now its 10 days after ‘my first experience' in the red Room. Of course I must go on with my normal job in the iron-shop because for the outside world I must behave like in a normal life. The images I saw about a girl who is tortured to death will never go out of my mind. I cannot delete it, but worse is that I cannot step out of it and I will be forced to do such things to an innocent girl again and again. I'm always afraid that in a moment the police...

New Places New Faces Pt 1 3

--------------------- It was the dreaded day. The day Edward had feared for a while. It was his first day of high school. No, he wasn’t a freshman. He had simply been transferred in from abroad to do his junior year at his 18 years of age due to some family issues. He measured 5 feet 9 inches and weighed in at 169 pounds. It did not help him that he wore glasses, and his dark-skinned complexion only made him stand out more in the middle of the mostly white demographic. He was dropped off...

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