Wish Shift Prologue
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Wish shift: Chapter Six
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Year 1 A.S. Day 45
Danny had just finished sliding the last of the cubed potatoes off of the
cutting board into the pot of boiling water. She glanced across the
kitchen at Sam. She was slicing tomatoes and laying them out on the split
loaf of Italian bread over the lettuce. Danny reached for an onion and
started dicing it. Danny was more than a little proud of Sam the last
couple of weeks. Jenny coming home had been a good influence on her in
some ways, he thought. Sam had always been a good man. When Amelia had
invited Danny over for dinner shortly after they first started working
together at the VA, Danny knew it wasn't so that she could meet Amelia's
younger son Sam.
Danny and the older nurse had already built a strong friendship over
that first year after she had graduated. She had quickly gained a
tremendous respect for Amelia's sense of devotion to the patients who
came through those doors. It was that devotion and the compassion that
motivated it that had drawn her to Amelia as a mentor. It was the kind of
person that Jenny Amelia Minton was under her iron professionalism that
made her a friend. Danny had quickly learned to appreciate the strength
of character seasoned with her own sly humor that she discovered lurking
under the senior nurse's demeanor.
Danny was not surprised to learn that the source of Amelia's devotion was
intensely personal. Amelia's father had commanded a Sherman in Patton's
Third Army. His path across Europe had ended leaving him covered with the
scars from the burns he had suffered bailing out after a panzerfaust
opened up the tank's engine and set the fuel on fire during the drive to
relieve Bastogne. None of his crew escaped and the mental anguish of the
survivor's guilt he had lived with had marked his daughter as deeply as
the flames had marked him.
Amelia had been in her teens when he had finally returned. The family had
already not been unfamiliar with the hardship that faced them caring for
someone who came back to them shattered by the cruelty that lived on the
battlefield. Her earliest memories when she was small had been of her
grandfather's endless coughing. The legacy of the young Marine's
encounter with mustard gas's deadly embrace at Belleau Wood. He had died
from it shortly before his son had boarded his troopship for England.
When Amelia graduated high school she had already made the decision to be
a nurse. She later told Danny that she had been driven by growing up with
their lifelong suffering. She said she couldn't make that choice to not
ease it in others and still live with herself. Jenny Amelia Stanton had,
not surprisingly, met Lloyd Minton at the VA. Lloyd had been a medic in
Korea and had become a doctor when he returned. Their shared devotion to
the men they cared for had bound them first in a friendship and then in a
life together that had spanned over fifty years and produced the family
they created from it.
Danny finished the onions and scraped them off the cutting board into a
large bowl. He looked over again to Sam. She was layering slices of ham
over the tomatoes. Sam saw him looking and asked if they should use Swiss
or cheddar on it. Danny thought a moment and said that they should
probably use the cheddar since they had more of it. Sam peeled the
wrapper from the block of cheese and started shaving thin slices from it.
Danny put some dill pickles onto his board and started chopping them.
She hadn't expected to meet Amelia's younger son Sam when they had both
gotten off of their shift. Danny had accepted Amelia's offer to join her
and Lloyd for dinner when Amelia found out during a break time
conversation that Danny didn't have any plans other than to get something
from a diner on the way home and just crash. Spending the evening with
her friend's over a good meal was infinitely preferable, so she had
quickly accepted.
Sam had gotten leave and hadn't told his parent's about it as a surprise.
Too young for Vietnam, Sam had volunteered when he finished high school
and was a mechanic in the motor pool of the 5th Infantry division. Danny
had already known about him from the conversations she had with Amelia
and she recognized him from the pictures that her friend had shared with
her. What she hadn't expected was the strong connection that seemed to
spring out of nowhere when they finally met that evening.
Sam didn't have a very long leave. But when he got into his car to start
the long drive back to Ft. Polk, Danny found herself standing at the
beginning of a whirlwind. They had moved quickly from there and over the
remainder of Sam's enlistment they had become as inseparable in spirit in
a way she had not expected and the physical distance between them seemed
to vanish with each contact.
Danny looked up at the kitchen clock, Amelia and George said they would
be there just after twelve. There wasn't any rush now, they still had
plenty of time. He looked over at the potatoes and fished one out. They
were done so he took them off the stove and drained the hot water into
the sink. He put them into some water from the tap to cool off and
started mixing mayo, mustard and seasonings together with the chopped
pickles and onions. Sam was already putting the finishing touches on the
big sandwich and had started slicing it into sections.
Contrary to what their kids may think it had not been Danny that had
resumed their sexual relationship, but Sam. Of course she had been
confused and frightened and distressed in the immediate aftermath of the
Shift; they both had been. What sane person wouldn't be? But Sam was
always an eminently practical man and behind his calm outer demeanor he
was not the kind of person to show the conflicts raging in the
background. She had not allowed her naked feelings brought into the open
by the Shift to dominate her for very long and that strength had been
something Danny had found more important to his own mental balance than
anything else.
Someone who didn't know Sam would think that becoming a woman, let alone
his own wife would have been something that would wreak a strong
masculine man like him. Someone who looked at him on the surface would
see the skilled mechanic, the successful owner of a well regarded garage,
the strong family man who executed his responsibilities with the
precision of a drillmaster. All that proved to Danny was that someone who
thought that, never really knew who Sam was in the first place.
When the reality of the Shift had sunk into them both, they had needed
time to grasp it. They had been so blended together through the years of
friendship and marriage creating their life together that turning to each
other in crisis was as natural as breathing. Danny had asked Sam during
one of the conversations that they didn't share with anyone else, how she
really felt about becoming a woman... about becoming her. She didn't take
long to give an answer.
In that practical way of hers, she went right to what she saw as the
heart of it. "I'm still a person, she said. This is a change and a damned
difficult one to deal with. I have to make adjustments and they may not
be easy, but I don't have to make myself into someone else. I already put
a lot of effort into being me and this doesn't make enough of a reason
for me to throw that to the side."
As for having been switched with Danny, she had been surprisingly
accepting to someone who didn't know Sam like Danny did. "If I had to end
up in someone else's body, if I had to be a woman. I would have chosen
you. This face is the face of someone I love dearly and if I have to see
a woman's face in the mirror the rest of my life, it's the face I'd
choose to see. It's more important to me that I have you with me.
Everything else is just details."
Danny checked the potatoes and found that they were cool enough. He
drained them again and started pouring the dressing he had been working
on over them and then started gently mixing them together.
When he had gone with them to meet James in Atlanta, Danny had felt more
anxiety than he let on to the others. Sam knew and she didn't have to
remind Danny that James would need them possibly more than their other
children would. Jake and Kim still had each other and even though Danny
was disappointed at how Jake had spiraled, the support was there for her.
Kira and Dianne were being rocked in their own way by the changes, but
again they were still together. But not James.
Danny and Sam both were horrified by what James faced. Before the Shift
she had already known that it was only a matter of time before James and
Sonya would marry. Danny had been disappointed almost as much as James
had been when her visa had been denied. She watched from a distance with
no small amount of pride as James built the same kind of relationship he
had learned to value from them.
The relief he had felt when the State department had told them that James
had survived and would be returning soon had been tempered with sorrow
for him. They had been told that James had been switched with a Chinese
woman and even though they had not said so, Danny already knew that it
was Sonya. Neither Danny or Sam had gotten any sleep after that call. The
thought that James would shortly be separated from Sonya by thousands of
miles, yet see her face in every reflection was anathema to them. That
Sonya would be suffering in the same way was an atrocity.
Seeing the diminutive Chinese woman pushing the trolley toward them in
the airport had been dread manifest. Danny had recognized her the instant
she passed out of the crowd and each step that brought her closer to them
rent his spirit. He knew that Sam recognized her too. He had heard the
soft exhalation that she had made as her heart sank, even if the others
missed it. He reaffirmed his commitment inside that James would have
everything she needed from them in the coming weeks.
Danny thought that would be a hardship enough for her new daughter. But
when James gulped and ran for the bathroom his spirit screamed inside him
in anguished recognition. He followed her there desperately hoping it was
anything but that. The confirmation she gave him there made his previous
feelings for James's situation pale against what he felt inside that
room.
The greatest horror for him and Sam was when James told them that the
baby inside her was probably Sonya. Sam's hand had clenched his so hard
that for a moment he forgot they were in each other's bodies now.
Replaying what James told them in his mind on the way home from the
airport had been a nightmare of possibilities that he had never thought
to envision and in the front seat he had felt Sam trembling even as she
kept the car under perfect control.
What struck Danny the most about it was James. He could see the mark Sam
had made in James's character in the way that she kept herself and
carried on despite the gaping wound he knew was marring her spirit. When
they finally got home and James told them in more detail everything, he
shuddered at how much worse it was inside. He didn't know how he could
have carried alone the burden James was given. The pride he felt when
James told them that she would now be Jenny had touched both him and
Amelia deeply. He didn't think that James had remembered that Danny had
intended to name him for her dear friend, his grandmother if he had been
a daughter. And taking Sonya's name as well only spoke to him of the
depth of feeling Jenny had for her.
Finishing the potato salad, Danny dipped a spoon into the soup that had
been quietly simmering on a back burner and offered it to Sam to taste.
They had made the same identical action thousands of times over the
years, since her body had more sensitive taste buds and made a better
judge of what it needed. Sam suggested a little more basil and a touch of
salt and started reaching for the dishes to carry to the dining table.
Sam had recorded Jenny on her phone that morning when she looked out the
window after getting her coffee. When she showed Danny the video later
that night, they had both watched in awe at how gracefully Jenny had
moved in her total concentration. It had been a slow motion dance with
rules that neither of them knew. It was sharp and powerful and in her
movements they saw the ghost of the woman who James had lost and they
wept for them both.
Before Jenny had come back, Sam had mostly chosen to avoid wearing some
of the more feminine things that Danny had owned. It wasn't because she
was against it, but rather that she felt that it was something she needed
to ease into. Privately Sam had asked Danny to help her the first time
and had told him to deliberately put her completely in the most feminine
outfit she owned. Sam had silently done everything Danny had required of
her. He was extra careful with every detail from the lingerie to her
makeup and selecting her jewelry. When they were finished Sam had looked
in the mirror for a long time and told Danny that one day she would have
it in her to look this beautiful for him, but that she needed more time.
When Jenny had gotten home Danny was surprised to see her step out of her
trailer the day after dressed as she was. Even with the simple choices
she had made she was lovely and delicately feminine. Danny was expecting
that Jenny would do much like Sam had, considering that they were so
alike in temperament. Each day that passed saw Jenny emerge dressed as
gracefully and tastefully as she could be given her limitations in
understanding what a woman does to get ready to go out in public. Except
for when she performed that achingly beautiful exercise in the mornings,
she had never chosen to wear anything remotely like the unisex choices
that Kira had embraced.
Amelia had been staying with them that first week caring for George as
much as possible in between. She saw Jenny leave wearing a bright
sundress and low heels with Kira and said sadly that she was too young to
be a widow. Over the conversation that followed Danny was disturbed that
her perceptive mother-in-law had watched her new granddaughter and come
to the exact same conclusion that he had felt growing inside him like a
malignant tumor.
"I've seen friends over the years, said Amelia, who turned their houses
into a shrine, never changing a single detail of how it was like the last
day they shared it. I don't know how many times I've called them and
their dead husband or wife answered the phone on the voice mail. That
girl doesn't have any of that, so she's turning herself into a walking,
breathing memorial. If you can't shake her out of it. She'll spend the
rest of her life as a dead woman."
Confronting Jenny with that was like twisting a knife inside yourself for
Danny. He knew that he would have speak with her the same way that he had
with his other two children, but walking her to the bathroom to have that
talk, he hoped that he wasn't walking her into an open grave she would
never climb out of. Danny prayed he had what it took to shake Jenny out
of it, but not push her so far that she broke. She was far more brittle
than he had suspected and the terror of failing the daughter who needed
it most right now was almost more than he could bear.
Jenny asking him for help when they went to the salon and advice on
cosmetics the next day was a release of breath mentally held for hours.
Seeing her make the choices for herself and not to continue doing as she
had been had been one of the greatest feelings of relief that Danny had
ever experienced. Spending that morning with Jenny had reminded him so
much of taking the same halting, hesitant steps with Kim when she first
got the courage to ask Danny's help with this first deliberate step into
becoming a young woman after her thirteenth birthday.
The unexpected outcome of Jenny coming home though was on Sam. Watching
her daughter may have been the tiny nudge of support that Sam needed.
Danny had watched as Sam started incorporating small articles into her
own choices. It was as if she needed the company of her daughter's
actions to give her the nudge she needed to start to forge her own way
out away from safe harbor and into uncharted waters. When Danny had
walked into the kitchen this morning and seen Sam drinking her coffee and
wearing one of her dresses he knew that, if not for Jenny, it would not
have happened this soon.
His phone rang as he was just reaching for some potholders to carry the
soup into the dining room. He picked it up, not looking at it, expecting
that it would be Amelia letting him know that they would be there soon.
In the next room Sam could hear snippets of the conversation. After he
hung up Sam heard Danny come quietly into the room.
"Do you absolutely have to open the garage?" he asked her.
"You know I do Danny," she said laying out some tableware. "If for no
other reason than to get the crew back to work."
"But do you have to be there?" he emphasized.
Sam stopped what she was doing and looked up at him in alarm.
"What's wrong with Jenny?" she said immediately. "Is the baby ok?"
"We have to go to Columbia," Danny said to her. "They're all fine, but
Jenny just found out she is having twins."
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