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Wish Shift: Chapter Thirty-Six You Can't Outrun A Shadow Year 1 A.S. Day 187 Day 232 of Jenny's Pregnancy Brother Paul disconnected the phone and turned his efforts back towards getting ready to depart. He was greatly satisfied with the work he had done already. The little mud woman had finally reached a stage that he could start encouraging her growing love of the Lord's righteousness and Derek would be coming back to them today, albeit only for services. With her now properly primed he was confident that his personal goal of returning Derek to his proper position in life was nearing completion. As he dressed he whistled to himself in anticipation of looking out into the congregation and seeing Derek with his devout wife Vicki and their children by his side for many years to come. Perhaps if Derek's acceptance into the Lord's truth was truly successful he could also look forward to seeing him play a minor role in advancing the faith as well. He felt blessed that this small effort of his was appearing to finally begin bearing the fruit he wished it to. But there was still the minor matter of taking Derek's mud woman on her final steps of her journey with him. He turned his attention back to the mirror and paid attention to his own preparations. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ - Year 1 A.S. Day 187 Derek didn't even know why he had come here. He really hated being here when he was a kid. There was something about coming back to a place that you have been forced to go to against your will before that just left you with such a nasty taste in your throat. His parents forcing him to come here when he was a kid definitely fell into that category. When he was small and really didn't know any better it was just a place that they went to. And he hadn't liked it then, because it was nothing but a source of punishment for him. Without fail, every single time that he went here, on display as he had come to think of it, he ended up spread across a chair afterward with his pants around his ankles while his father paid him back for some offense he had committed while they were in public. His father and his mother talked a lot about those 'Christian values' that were supposedly so important to them, but most of what he remembered from them was hearing them curse against anyone they had reason to hate. Oh, they never used obscene language, that would be ungodly, but the way they used language to speak of those they hated made it fouler than if they had. They believed in so many things, but it seemed the thing that they believed in the most was making sure that he learned his lessons with enough pain to make him remember them. He learned those lessons. He learned them very well. But if they knew what lesson that he had really learned from them they would have reached for something much more solid with which to more fully impart the next lesson to him. It was a hard thing for a child to admit that he had come to hate his own parents and everything that they were, but they made it easy for Derek. When he told Jenny that they had been t-boned by a cop, that was true, but he didn't mention that they were coming back from meeting with a more radical splinter group about planning a campaign of bombings against doctors and their clinics. He had heard every word that they spoke when they thought that he was asleep, although he didn't think that it would matter to them anyway. They had no secrets about who it was that they hated. When he got older he figured it was also their own particular method that they thought would initiate him into their poisonous life. A miasma of nastiness that would infect him the longer he was exposed to it. He couldn't force himself to shed tears for them and had stood at their graveside with completely dry eyes. He had heard murmurs behind him and the whispers later that the poor boy was so shocked by losing his parents that he couldn't even cry yet. But that wasn't true. He later admitted to Aunt Dina, a very long time later, that as far as he was concerned, he had used up his supply of tears for them when they both were beating them out of him. It had taken Aunt Dina some time to get there. She wasn't even at their funeral. The only reason that she was found out that they were dead was when someone who had known them both called her shortly after the funeral to ask if she was going to be okay. From what Derek could tell, the church had planned to conceal their death from her and take custody of him for as long as they could and trust that by doing that, they could convince the court that it was better that he stay there now, rather than go to his 'lewd and immoral' aunt as they called her when they were feeling generous. Brother Paul, Madeline and all of those others that populated this part of his life really knew him about as well as they knew that Jesus they went on about. That being, that they didn't know either of them at all. They mistook his interest in seeing the very few friends that he had here for interest in the poison that they were trying to shovel down his throat. Aunt Dina knew that, that was why she let him keep coming back here when he could muster up enough resolve to overcome his revulsion about being here. But that interest had steadily waned. It couldn't help but do so. Some of his friends left; they moved away and he didn't hear from them again. Others put up with this garbage until they didn't have to and then walked away without looking back. But the worst friends to lose were the ones that just gave in and willingly swallowed the river of crap the church produced in a seemingly endless supply. They swallowed it to keep in good with parents, with family, with whatever it was that bound them to this cesspool of 'righteousness' like a tar pit. And it swallowed them whole, just like a tar pit would have. And then they stopped being anyone that he wanted to be around anymore. Vicki had been like him and the others when she had been little, but she had also been one of the first ones to start swallowing and he had not given her any further thought, until she came up to him at Aunt Dina's funeral. And if he hadn't been so broken up over losing Aunt Dina he wouldn't have given her that opening. Unlike his parent's funeral, he had no problem producing a river of tears for Aunt Dina. He was the last one to leave her grave. The last one, except for Vicki. He should have been polite to her and just walked away. He should have just refused her offer to stay with him and thanked her for coming instead. But he didn't, and she took that crack in his armor and widened it until she was lodged into his life before he really understood the implications of having her there. Later, when she was firmly ensconced in his life, he had the thought that no matter how far he ran from them the church and the people in it were the shadow that he just couldn't shake from his life. He had stopped coming here long before getting involved with and then breaking up with Vicki. She didn't have anything to do with that. One day he had just gotten here and looked around and he didn't see anyone that was enough of a friend that he would need to subject himself to this to come here anymore and see them. So he didn't, he turned around, got into his car and drove away. But Vicki had come back into his life and if she hadn't been able to keep her vicious opinions about gays under wraps then, she might have been able to keep him fooled about how much they had warped her for even longer than she did. She had been the last one though. The last one that he knew from here that he had seen regularly before walking away for good. And for a time he thought that he had finally outrun that shadow. And now he was back. Derek looked around the place now. It hadn't gotten any better as he had gotten older. It was familiar in that same creepy way to him. He stayed off to the side with Jenny and wondered what it was that had possessed him to make her come with him here. He just couldn't figure that one out. That could be easily corrected though. All they had to do was walk out, but somehow he just couldn't make himself move and get her away from here so he could spare her the racist bullshit he know would be coming like ants to a picnic. It would be sly and subtle at first and then fall like a trip hammer all at once. They just wouldn't be able to help themselves about that. The smiles that they used to hide the verbal daggers they couldn't help using wouldn't stay hidden for long. Not when they were in large numbers like this. She didn't deserve that from people that Derek thought were beneath her and when they tried to start in on her, he wasn't going to stand for it from them. He looked around. He didn't see Vicki and that was good. That was the last thing he needed was for his ex to come over and start trying to dump all over Jenny. He didn't even have to wait for it to see just what was going to happen in that event, but so far there was no sign of her. There were more people here as well. That puzzled him. Even when he had been willing to set foot inside these walls, he didn't recall this many people coming here. He looked over at Jenny, she seemed a little out of it as well. She kept looking around, but not saying anything. When they arrived there were lots of people that he saw milling around that he recognized. And quite a few of them had come up to him and made noise about how good it was to see him back today. They were making as much of a fuss over Jenny as well. Acting like they were glad to see her and making positive comments about her condition as well. That wouldn't last long, he knew that without having to see anything more than the opening act. Jenny needed to sit down though. Even with how good she looked in what she had chosen to come here in, he could tell that she was needing to get off of her feet. He slipped her into an end seat on the last row and then sat down beside her. While they were waiting for the bullshitapalooza to start he looked around. There was something very off about being here and it wasn't just the creepy feeling he had from being back in this place. But he couldn't tell what it was. Everything looked like it should. No one seemed to be out of place. There were new faces of course, and many more people who were not white, but that was to be expected. Halfway through the service he realized that was the problem. He recognized them and they weren't where they should have been. Even if the same people were coming here, they shouldn't have had the same faces. There should have been changes that the Shift had caused, but looking around this room it seemed that all of them had been untouched by the Shift. And he knew that wasn't possible. The same people that were married before were acting like they were married now. There were no mismatched couples. No one who was like Kira and Dianne, no one who was like George, no one who was like Danny and Sam or even little Mattie. When they had slipped into the back row he did it for more than just Jenny. He may have been compelled to come here for some reason, but that didn't mean he had to sit up front. And being back here had given them both a wide angle view of everyone there. And that view was making him more anxious with every passing minute. He listened to the familiarity of their service, there was very little about white supremacy today and there were mentions of the Rapture when they referenced the Shift and talk of Levites and their special place in the Lord's plans for them and even as background noise it still made him want to vomit. He had heard the same thing before and he knew the minute they were out the doors they would go right back to what they did before. But that wasn't what concerned him. It was looking over the room and matching the people that he knew and seeing them where they used to be rather than where they should be. It made a cold chill crawl down his spine and even though he wanted to leave he couldn't make his legs rise or his feet carry him away. It seemed like it was forever, but the service eventually ended and he leaned over and whispered to her that they should probably be going now. He couldn't wait to get out of this place. No matter how much it had creeped him out when he was a kid, it was nothing like the feeling that it was giving to him now. He looked over at Jenny. She didn't say anything. She was awfully quiet. She had been quiet since before they had come here. That was something else that he was finding that bothered him more. The way she was acting. Mindy told him it was the pregnancy and it was making her do some nesting thing. He'd looked it up on the net and even with what it said there, it still didn't really explain what it was that he felt was so wrong about what she had been doing. The people were starting to mill around again, he nudged her once more and she looked over to him finally and started to get to her feet. They were making their way through the crowded vestibule when Madeline was suddenly in front of them and asking Derek if she would let her take Jenny away for a couple of minutes. He knew what he wanted to say and there was nothing civil about what he thought about her using the words take away and Jenny in the same sentence, but he didn't want to make a scene. He just wanted them out of here. While they were gone Brother Paul sidled up to him making meaningless noise about his pleasure at seeing the two of them here and how he hoped that it would be the first of many more visits the two of them would be making together. Derek bit back an acerbic response and didn't say anything. He decided that it was time to shut the door on these two. He didn't want to do it here, but it was going to happen very soon. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Madeline took Jenny back to one of the small rooms that had been used for Sunday school before the Rapture. Now though they were more useful for ensuring that there was privacy when there was an opportunity like this. Jenny was not talking very much. Madeline noticed that she had been far more quiet than normal and she knew what was causing it. She was surprised to see it manifesting like this though. But then mostly when they used the Water of Truth the ones taking it did this much sooner since they were literally swimming in it. She was close to rejecting a lot of what they had been feeding her mentally. That was one of the things they had found out when they started using this drug. A person could only be pushed so far away from what they were. It was a wonderful tool for priming the pump, but always at some point what they were pouring in would start to back up. Too much of who the person really was inside could only take being bent just so far before their mind started to reject it like a mismatched transplant. She watched Jenny take her pill after she reminded her about taking her vitamins. That was already twice today she had gone under and from the confusion she was displaying there wouldn't be that many more opportunities before the structure that they were building came crashing down. Madeline was going to impress on her today the need for her to wait in silence while men were speaking. She was going to get started on reinforcing the belief in male superiority in her, but one look at her today and she knew that would have to wait until she could get the full treatment in the salvation camp. Instead of that, she spent this time trying to reinforce Jenny's feeling of trust for them and when she was in the deepest part of the trance she told her how much it would mean for both of them to be councilors at the upcoming church camp. How they both were needed to be there and how good it would be for both her and her husband to do this together. Madeline didn't know how long this suggestion would hold, but she thought it would be enough. As soon as she could she was going to tell Brother Paul about the need to get them both to come now. She finished with telling her that Derek needed her help in seeing the value of being councilors and to do as she had done this morning when the time came. Jenny gave the right answers, but Madeline could tell that they may have waited too long already. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Year 1 A.S. Day 189 Day 234 of Jenny's Pregnancy After Derek and Jenny left and Brother Paul was finished with his public requirements he took Madeline back into his office and asked her about what had happened. When they had come back Jenny had been silent just like Brother Paul was expecting her to be, until she was not. She had reached over and touched Derek's arm and told him that she was not feeling so well and that she needed to go home. Derek had made their excuses and quickly left. "What happened?" he demanded. "She should have been unable to even think about speaking while men were talking." "She's on the edge of her verge," Madeline said quietly, with her head bowed. "I planted the idea of coming to the camp with Derek though. I'll have to do it again, but it needs to happen as soon as it can be done," That was the only real trace of Brother James that was left inside of her, Brother Paul thought. When she was doing something that advanced the interests of the church she still had his single-mindedness in that regard. Even with all of the other conditioning that kept her in her place, that still came through. Brother Paul listened carefully. In matters like this, it was one of the few times that he would pay heed to anything any woman had to say. He told her that he would make the arrangements and then told her that she needed to make sure that she was with Jenny in every spare moment that she could find until they were safely behind the gates. Madeline nodded and said that she would do so. She was there the next morning just after Derek left to open Java Jolts. Jenny opened the door and Madeline made an extra fuss over how she looked. She insisted that Jenny should immediately lie down and not concern herself with anything to do with the house today. Madeline reminded her that women in the church needed to look out for each other and she was here for her now. While Madeline busied herself with whatever she saw to do around the house she also made sure that she constantly was checking on Jenny as she lay on the bed in her and Derek's bedroom. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jenny heard the sound of Madeline in the next room as she busied herself doing what little needed to be done. For some reason Madeline being here today was causing her nothing but irritation. Irritation that was amplified by the fuss both of the twins were causing with their constant kicking inside of her. But as painful as that was, how she felt inside was what was really drawing her full attention inward. She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to lift the phone and call Dr. Warren. She wanted to call Derek and have him come home and take her to Dr. Warren and at the same time she had something inside of her telling her to stay away from him and that made absolutely no sense to her. Then there was what had happened yesterday morning. When Derek told her that they would be going to church and for her to get ready she had automatically had the thought 'praise the Lord' come to her. It bubbled up in all its alien splendor and hung in her mind and all she could do on the drive there and during the service was wonder what had made her mentally regurgitate that particular thought in the first place. Her need to voice religious expressions in any situation was about an inch deep and mostly centered around saying 'God damn it' or 'Jesus Christ' in an annoyed fashion. Having that thought in that way come from her was like looking on the sole of your shoe after stepping in a dog mine left by a Great Dane. And when had these other things that she had found herself doing start and where did they come from? These compulsions that she had been following in what she did recently just made no sense. This wasn't what she wanted to be like, but she found herself doing it nevertheless. Keeping house, that she could understand. But not the way she had been doing it. And even though she had been insisting that Derek not do anything in that regard, she had been feeling a growing sense of wrongness about it. So much of what she had fallen into doing was suddenly feeling wrong and each time it felt wrong the thoughts kept coming to her again unbidden and she felt compelled to obey. She needed to see Dr. Warren. She had felt a little more settled yesterday though, just after the service. She remembered Madeline talking to her about a pair of openings for councilors at some church camp they were having and it seemed a good idea while they were talking about it, but today it just seemed silly. Derek couldn't be away from his business that long on such short notice and she was in no condition at all for something like that. And since when would they think that an unmarried heavily pregnant woman who was living with a man would be an example at all? She just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong now though. Madeline brought her pre-natal vitamins to her and she felt better and had less doubt for a little while, but after she left just before Derek came home the doubt and feeling that something was wrong was back. She asked him to take care of dinner for them and saw from the look on his face that her asking him to do that really made him feel much better than if she had met him with it already done. She was glad that it did that for him but she didn't know why that was. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Derek could smell that Madeline had been there again. Her perfume hung in the house like an noxious fart. She came after he left and was gone by the time he got back each day. The only good that came of it in his opinion was that while she was here Jenny was getting the rest that she so clearly needed. He had no idea that having twins would distort her body as much as it had. And with as tiny as she was, the size of her just seemed so much more exaggerated. When he had been talking about getting a part-time employee to take up the slack with her before, he had been thinking that he should do that after she had the twins, but looking at her now and seeing how she had been all week, he knew that he shouldn't wait that long. After having Madeline here all week taking care of things while Jenny rested he quietly made the decision that, as soon as he could, he was going to get someone in the shop and cut his own hours as much as he could so he could spend as much time with Jenny as he could now. And keep Madeline away as well while he was doing that. He had already talked it over with Mindy and he insisted that he could handle things while Derek took care of what he needed to do right now. Usually Mindy would have made some crack at him or done something silly just for the hell of it, but when they had that talk there was none of that. That was how Derek knew that he was really taking this seriously. It would be a bite on him financially, but that was a big nothing to him when he stacked it up against being there for Jenny right now. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Year 1 A.S. Day 190 Day 235 of Jenny's Pregnancy Brother Paul looked over some of the notes that he was trying to make into some sort of coherent plan. Madeline had been with Derek's little mud woman every day this week. Having to advance what he had been planning for her and Derek as much as they were going to have to was a major inconvenience for him. He had been hoping to delay doing that until after she had littered, but now he was going to have to arrange for her to whelp while she was actually in the camp. He supposed that it was good in a way. Seeing just how far they could push this method was part of the purpose of his little side project anyway, but it was still inconvenient. Since the whole timetable regarding her was going to have to be advanced he needed to make some final decisions regarding the two of them. As much as it grated against what he was inclined to prefer, he had decided not to have her spayed after she had whelped. Instead they would use one of the devil's tricks to keep her from dropping any more litters until after she had served out her penance. He had decided that she would go first to Cody since she had injured him more and then later to Stephan. But before that, she would begin her penance with him. She had caused him a lot of irritation during this experiment and it was only fitting that she make it up to him before he turned her over to them. He was looking forward to schooling her in how she would fulfill her role for the next few years and once she had learned her place, then he would see that she took her place in the breeding program with her yet to be selected cursed husband, after she had repaid her debt to Cody and Stephan of course. Having the extra time to work her over mentally would also give her body time to heal after she whelped as well. He wanted her ready to step into her new role as soon as she was able to do so. He had already selected both sets of parents that would take over the responsibility for raising her bastards. Brother Judas had firmly advocated spaying all of the mud people, but while Brother Paul sympathized with his views, the others on the council had committed to other methods. They were already starting to put together the breeding schedule for the next few generations of cursed and Blessed. It would take time but with the Lord's guidance, within a few generations both of those classes would be instantly identifiable on sight, making it easier to keep the new order intact from then on. Vicki Matthews had been told that she and Derek would be married soon after he entered the camp. Sister Mary had assured Brother Paul that they would schedule their nuptials so that she would immediately conceive. That would be important to reinforce Derek's acceptance of things he thought. But Vicki may have to change her name to Jenny as well as Peterson to help his conditioning hold fast. Brother Paul looked down at the chart that Sister Mary had given him and circled the date that Derek had to be ready by to fulfill his most important role as a Levite and then he checked the calendar again. Two days, he thought. Two days until they entered the camp and he could mark this little goal accomplished and turn his full attention to the larger picture. The Lord was truly kind to him. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Year 1 A.S. Day 192 Day 237 of Jenny's Pregnancy Jenny heard her phone ringing and tried to ignore it. She was spending so much of her time laying down now that needing to get up and go to get it was something that she absolutely did not want to bother with. She had already ignored it twice already, but it had started ringing again in that annoying insistent way and she was tired of hearing it. It took some effort for her to get up and on her feet. She felt all of her aches and soreness move into new and exciting areas of discomfort when she was up on her feet and moving. She needed to answer the phone though, it could be Derek or it could be mom with something that she needed to know about. Mom had been burning up the wires the last few days with how upsetting both Amy and Joshua, the new names that Kim and Jake had taken, were behaving since they had returned. When he told her about the complete radical change in behavior that Amy was displaying she had oddly enough felt echoes within herself as well telling her that what Amy was doing was right and proper and shouldn't be questioned at all. Another thing that made no sense to her even as she found herself doing a less intense version of those same actions. It was Brother Paul who was calling her though. He asked her if Derek was there and she told him that he had gone out to buy some fruit and a few other things from the supermarket. Him calling her the way he had made a wave of irritation well up from deep inside, but again those feelings inside her insisted that she should not even have the right to feel that way about any man, let alone a person like Brother Paul and they sealed her mouth in deference to him, even over the phone. He spoke to her and told her that if she had not taken her vitamins already, that she should do so now. She said she would and started going to the bathroom to get them. Even if he was being irritating it was at least for a good reason. She reached into the bottle and took two of them and ran some water out of the tap to take them with. She went back to the living room where she had left her phone and picked it up again and told him that she had done it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Brother Paul waited while Jenny went to take her dose. He looked over at the clock on his office wall. Depending on how long Derek was still going to be away and how long it would take for it to take effect on him after she passed it to him. He still should have more than enough time to get over there. But just to be sure he intended to tell her that once she had given Derek a double dose like she was taking now that she kept both of them taking another pill and sitting quietly until he arrived. He also was going to direct her to call him as soon as she had given it to Derek. That way he could give them both a stay command. That should keep them in place long enough as well. He put some of the things on his desk away and reached for his coat. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jenny felt the warm haze fall over her awareness. It felt good this haze. Nothing mattered while she felt it wrapping softly around her. There was no anxiety, there was no doubt, there was only the certainty of what the voice that was speaking with her gave her. It was time to go to that camp that Madeline had told her about. She knew that she had been feeling that it was a silly idea before, but now thinking like that was what the silly idea was. It made perfect sense that she and Derek would both do this. And it made perfect sense that she should give him a couple of her vitamins as well. Yes, they were pre-natal vitamins but they would still be good for him. She wanted to take care of him and a little thing like that would be easy enough to do. She had already gotten a drink for him ready on the counter. She just needed to go and get them to put them in it for him. She listened to the voice on her phone as she walked into the bathroom. She told him that she was getting them now and put the phone down on the counter. As she opened the bottle and shook a few of them out into her palm she held them there as she put the cap back on the bottle. She was starting to put them in the pocket of her blouse when one of the babies kicked her hard. She felt herself let out a sharp breath and her hand jerked spilling the capsules on the bathroom floor. She told the voice on the phone that she needed to pick them up and put the phone back down on the counter. As she slowly knelt and started reaching for the capsules the babies started kicking her again. She dropped to the cool linoleum and lay there until they stopped. Even in the warm haze she could feel that pain and she shuddered and gasped at the sudden real sensation of it. She heard the tinny voice on the phone above her and she couldn't reach it. She couldn't even get up from the floor. She flashed in her mind to those old commercials about the old woman saying she had fallen and she can't get up and it was a shock that she was now in that situation exactly. She made one more effort to get up and couldn't. She curled around herself and just lay there on the cool linoleum and started crying in frustration while the tinny voice from the phone on the counter just out of reach was talking to her in unintelligible words. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Derek came back from the grocery store with what Jenny asked for. The little store wasn't that far away. He had only been gone a little over forty minutes, he would have pushed it a bit more, but there were more patrols on the road recently. And it was much more intimidating to be pulled over by officials brandishing automatic weapons that it had been to see a cop's light behind him. Martial law had done wonders for eliminating speeding, but Derek would rather have the speeders instead of this. Fresh fruit had been harder to come by as well the last few months. Most of the pickers had been scattered by the Shift and a lot of the fruit had fallen and had rotted before someone had gotten organized enough to salvage some of the crop. There still were some small loads of some fruits moving, but the price was really expensive and there were some things that you just couldn't get at all. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen a banana or pineapple that didn't come in a can. Even oranges and frozen orange juice was a rarity unless you lived close to the grower. He had managed to get some apples and peaches though. He walked into the house and put the small bag of fruit on the counter and called out to Jenny that he was back. She didn't answer so he thought she was still in the bedroom and maybe she had fallen asleep. But when he walked past the bathroom he heard crying and peeked in. Jenny was laying helplessly on the floor. There were some dark capsules scattered there as well and she was lying on her side crying. He thought for just a flash that perhaps she was attempting suicide, but he realized just how stupid of a thought that was. Those were those pre- natal vitamins of hers. She was probably picking them up before she found herself unable to rise. There was someone on the phone. He could hear a tinny voice speaking insistently as she softly whimpered. Derek reached for the phone without looking at who it was. "Jenny will have to talk to you later. She's on the floor and she can't get up. I'm going to get her up and into bed now. She'll be alright." He hung up and put it back on the counter. "Jenny," he asked, "Are you ok?" "No," she answered from the dark. "Go away". Derek reached for the switch on the wall and flicked it on. He kneeled down beside her. "What's wrong baby?" "What's wrong!" she barked at him. "I'm the great fucking pumpkin, that's what's wrong! I could wear a kit bag for a fucking pair of shorts, if you poke holes in the bottom for my little legs to stick through it, that is what's fucking wrong!" Derek hadn't seen her like this or heard her speak this way for several weeks. Now it seemed to him that her hormones had swung wildly in the other direction and that passive little woman that he had been recently with was nowhere in sight. "I can barely walk as it is and I still have weeks more of this. I want to get up and I want to just stay here. Staying here is easier so just go away and let me stay here for a while." Derek pushed her to her feet and helped her to the couch. She started to refuse as first, but he ignored her and after she was up she just let him guide her there. As he walked her to the living room he told her that the next time that she wanted some fruit he was just going to take a bucket down the road and pick some blackberries or some wild grapes and those would have to do. He settled her down into the sofa. She looked up at him. "Jackass," she said "What's a kit bag?" he asked ignoring her comment. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Brother Paul put the phone down on the seat beside him. He had heard Derek and thought that it was just like the little mud woman to ballock this up. He added this latest example to the running list of things that she would have to redeem herself for. Now he would have to get there and find some way to do this himself. He could see the devil's hand in this minor hiccup, but it would not matter. Once he was there he was sure that the Lord would smooth his path for him once again. And later on the little mud woman would also pay for this latest transgression against him. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ - Derek got Jenny as comfortable as he could. There was a glass of tea on the counter. She had probably gotten it to take her vitamins with. He took it into the living room and handed it to her. Now that she was a little more comfortable she apologized for what she had said, but he could see how she felt the way she did. Her belly was poking out under her blouse and the stretch marks ran in angry bright zigzag patterns across the skin of her protruding belly. The babies were pushing far outside of her and she looked like someone had stuck an air hose into her and just overinflated her. It made her so ungainly that he was only surprised that it had taken so long for something like this to happen. He was glad it had happened here though and not in her trailer. That would have been bad enough experiencing this if she had been born a woman. Then she would have always known that this was something that was lying in wait for her. She would have seen female relatives and friends go through this like Mindy had and she would have had some level of mental preparation in the back of her mind for it. Derek couldn't grasp how strong she was for going through something like this after spending her life as a man. There was a knocking at the door. Derek made sure that she was settled and went to chase whoever it was away. It was probably Madeline and right now after she had just gotten settled, the last thing that Derek wanted for her was to have to deal with that. He reached for the door and got ready to use his polite there's no way you're getting in here face with her. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The door opened and Danny saw Derek's surprise at seeing him. But even if he was surprised he quickly recovered and welcomed her and Agent Matthews in. He had the distinct impression that until Derek had seen his face that he had prepared a very different welcome for whoever was on the other side of the door. Jenny was laying on the couch. She really looked knackered from her pregnancy today. Derek apologized for how they were. He said that he had just gotten home from getting her some fruit a few minutes ago and found her on the bathroom floor. Danny took what he was saying without comment, but he could tell that Derek sensed how coldly he was taking in what he was saying. He kneeled down beside her and told Jenny that she needed to get up now if she was feeling up to moving. Derek started to ask why she needed to do that, but Danny ignored him for the moment. Jenny said that she didn't think she could right now. Danny asked her if she had gotten his text about going up to pick out the things in storage for her to use with the twins. She nodded and said she had, but she didn't think that she was up to it today. Danny pressed her and she became a little more insistent that she shouldn't go at all. The trip was just too far and she shouldn't be going right now. Danny looked over at Agent Matthews. This must be the stay command that Agent Kellerman had mentioned. She was being just too insistent over it. Derek was trying to suggest that it would be best to put this off until she was feeling better. He looked over to him. "You'd like that wouldn't you," he said levelly. When Derek asked him what it was that he meant by that, Danny ignored him and decided that he needed to do as Agent Kellerman suggested. "Jenny you need your vitamins now," he said to her. The effect on her was instantaneous. She immediately rolled around on the couch and lurched up to her feet and started moving to the bathroom. She said not a single word in protest, she just moved to get them. Danny and Derek followed her into the bathroom. Derek was telling her that she should let him get them for her if she had to have them. She reached for the bottle and opened it. She shook two of them out into her palm and started to raise them to her mouth. Danny reached for her hand and stopped her. "Don't take that anymore Jenny. You're being drugged." She turned and looked at him. "I have to take them," she said. "I want to be a good responsible mother." Danny glared over his shoulder at Derek. "Are you responsible for this?" he demanded. Agent Matthew had moved quietly behind Derek. Her hand had slipped out of sight and Danny was certain that it was resting now on the grip of her service weapon. Before Derek could say anything Jenny did. "I don't bother my husband with women's things, that's not what a good wife does. I want to be a good wife." There was a haze over her face while she was spouting this crap, but Danny also thought that he could detect something else in her eyes as she was saying it. Derek was standing in the hallway in shock. "What did she say?" he said looking at her like she had become some stranger that appeared out of nowhere. "I'm sorry," she said. "I know I shouldn't say that. We're living in sin and I don't really have the right to call myself that. Not until we are joined under the Lord." Derek looked at Danny. "What did you do to her!" he demanded. Danny looked at him. Derek wasn't acting. He didn't know why it came to him so clearly, but he was certain that he was just as shocked and repulsed by what Jenny was doing as he was. "Jenny," he said gently, "you should go sit down now." "But I need my vitamins," she insisted. "Brother Paul said we both need to take them today." "Brother Paul said what!?" Derek snarled. "He said we needed to be ready to go to the camp today. We're going be councilors." "I'll kill that motherfucker and that bitch Madeline too," Derek spat. "I like Madeline. She's been so helpful with letting me know what I need to do to be a proper wife," she said. "Jenny, why don't you go back to the couch and we'll put your vitamins in some water for you to drink," Danny said to her. "All right," she said and started moving between them to go to go lay back down on the couch. "What in the fuck was that," Derek demanded. Agent Matthews had dropped her hand away from her pistol. She saw, like Danny did, that he was not the threat here. "Did you both say Brother Paul?" Danny asked him quietly. "Yeah, that motherfucker and his bitch wife Madeline have been coming here constantly," Derek said angrily. "Brother Paul of the Church of the Blessed?" Danny asked wanting to be sure, even though he already was. "That's the son of a bitch," Derek said. "We need to talk Derek," he said. Derek felt a wave of anger well up inside him watching Jenny moving woodenly in the living room and knowing instantly that it was Brother Paul and Madeline that were responsible for this. For everything that had begun feeling so wrong between them. He felt a deep sense of failure as he realized that his shadow had outrun him.