The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)s2e14: Eliza (20) Stripper From Nottingham free porn video

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A sign on the side of a building reads, “Welcome to PussyKats, Nottingham’s Finest Gentlemen’s Club” ... And then we’re inside. It’s a cheesy, dark, noisy – BUSY - dive. Plenty of ‘gentlemen’ enjoying a drink whilst mostly naked woman dance (or writhe) on the stage and in a couple of cases, on the businessmen themselves.

We watch one woman in particular, spinning around a pole, upside down, legs spread wide with a g-string barely covering her crotch. Under the harsh flashing lights we can make out that she’s slim, clearly fit and healthy, with small but nicely shaped boobs. Her hair is a mix of blonde and pale blue, we can’t really make out her face because of the way she’s spinning around that pole.

Later, backstage - in a little dressing room. She’s a lot easier to see sits infront of a broken mirror and lights a cigarette. She’s not the most attractive girl we’ve seen. Slightly boyish, a little thick through the body. Her skin is very pale, her hair short and blue-blonde, under the mountain of make-up her features are fairly anonymous save for a try-hard-bad-girl-lipcurl.

She speaks with a strong Nottinghamshire accent, with a bit of a try-hard tone. At the end of each comment she twists her face/purses her lips, as if she thinks this makes her look ‘bad’, ‘cool’, or ‘edgy’.

“Hello. My name is Eliza Harper. I’m 20 years old, I’m from Nottingham, I work as an exotic dancer, and I’m here today because I want a dog to make me his bitch!”

We cut to another location, Eliza now sitting on a bar stool in the currently empty club. A couple of cleaners are at work, but there are no customers. Eliza has showered and removed her make-up. Wearing a white towelling robe and looking a lot younger than she actually is. As she speaks we realise that she is isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

Tell us about your fantasies...

“I don’t really have fantasies, really.” She says, almost as if she’s trying to figure out what the word ‘fantasy’ means. “I just see filthy things and I want to try them.” Cut to another thought, “I tried to suck a dog at a party once, but he wasn’t interested, so I sucked some lads instead.” Cut to another, “I don’t know if I’ll feel good about it or not, I just want to feel it. I don’t think about it much, but ever since I first saw a woman being fucked on tele by a dog, I’ve wanted to try it. They always look like it hurts, but in a really good way. I like that.”

So, the bigger the dog, the more fun you expect to have?

Eliza thinks about this, trying to figure out if it’s a trick question or a statement of the obvious. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I want to be fucked with a really big cock ... A giant one, like a horse, or a donkey, or, like, a camel, or something ... This show is only dogs though, right ... You don’t do horses do you?”

Cut to Bernard’s Volksagen Passat Estate pulling up outside the club. Bernard getting out, heading to the rear of the car and opening it up ... Then, after a brief pause, the impressive sight of his Great Dane, Dino, jumping out.

Bernard talks to camera as Dino wanders around beside him. “This is Dino ... He’s a 7 year old Great Dane ... And we’re still waiting to find a woman who can truly handle everything he has to offer...” He looks up at the sign for KittyKats... “Maybe this is the kind of establishment we should have been coming to all along...”

Cut to Eliza in the club.

If we’re filming here, I presume your employer knows what you’re doing today?

“Yeah, I told him I was going to be on the show and he was like, begging, me to do it in the club, and to show the club off and all that. So make sure you get the sign in. I think he thinks it’ll improve business. No publicity is publicity and that. No, wait, all publicity is good publicity, is that it?”

Is this something you would like to do on-stage with a live crowd in here?

Eliza smiles, “Yeah, I think so. I’m a natural show-off. I like it when everyone is looking at me.”

At that point Dino walks in, big feet skidding on the polished concrete floor, Bernard following at the other end of the leash. Eliza looks round and sees them coming toward her, a big genuine smile crosses her face. “Oh wow!” She gasps, “Biiiiig doggy!”

She gets off the chair and crouches down to welcome the huge animal, stroking his head and neck. Leaning in close to him so that he can smell her face. He doesn’t lick her but his cold nose leaves a wet mark across her cheek.

She breaks away from Dino to complete her interview. The whole time she is talking to us she is looking at Dino, who sits patiently to her side, waiting to be called. Her nipples are erect and she’s breathing hard, although she’s trying not to show it.

Are you looking forward to a little doggy action then?

“Absolutely. I can’t wait. I just want his huge cock inside me...” She casts a sideway view at Dino, comments, “He is huge, isn’t he?” She looks to Bernard. “Is everything in proportion?”

Bernard responds dryly. “If everything were in proportion to his penis he’d have to be 10 feet tall!”

Eliza smiles but you can tell she didn’t get the joke.

What’s the biggest thing you’ve ever taken up there?

“I’ve been fisted a bit ... I like that. Especially if my boyfriend is in a bad mood...”

Does your boyfriend know about this?

“What, today? With the dog? No, he doesn’t. He knows I want to do a dog, but he doesn’t know I’m here today.”

How do you think he will react when he finds out?

“He got pretty turned on when I told him I wanted to do it, so I think he’ll probably like it. If he doesn’t ... Ah well, fuck ‘im!” She shrugs.

A few seconds later, Eliza is on the dancing podium/stage. No customers left in the club, just a few staff including a couple of her fellow dancers. The music is turned down so as not to upset Dino, but still loud enough to echo around the empty club.

The lights aren’t flashing anymore – just plain spots illuminating the raised stage. Our cameras are positioned infront and to the sides, almost at floor level. The stage and the lights mean that this will probably be one of our clearest viewing experiences in the entire series. We won’t miss a thing.

It’s not much of a strip routine as all she has to remove is her gown, but she gives it her all – a sensuous, almost seductive grind that allows us to see her pale flesh, her soft belly, and small but nicely formed breasts which are so firm that they barely need a bra to keep them under control, a completely waxed pussy. Turning around to twerk for us, showing us her back, and her wide bottom. Thick, but not fat, legs – and high heels (the only thing she is wearing other than nail-polish). When she performs that twerk, developing it into a full double-over bend, we can see her pussy pushing back between her thighs in graphic detail.

Altogether she’s no knock-out, but we have no doubt there are plenty of Nottingham’s business community who would be happy to have her on their lap.

She beckons to Dino to join her on the stage and Bernard releases the beast. Dino immediately bounds toward the naked young women, clumsily managing to get up the half dozen steps from floor to stage.

She crouches down to welcome him, and wastes no time getting to work on him - rubbing his belly and moving right to his sheath before taking hold of the shaft of his cock (that is still within the sheath).

She’s still writhing in time with the music, rubbing her small boobs against his side as she jerks his cock. Her nipples rubbing against his short hair as she jerks the dog to a full erection. Looking into camera, a filthy, dirty-girl teeth bared snarling smile.

The massive dane cock is growing in the sheath, and poking out of it. She can feel it growing in her hand, but when she angles her body backwards and to the side so that she can see under his belly she can’t keep the surprised look off her face. We can almost see her mouth the word, FUCK before she returns to her dirty-writhing dog-wanking dance.

When she figures he’s ready she gets to her feet and tries to turn her back on him, but he’s sniffing at her wet pussy, following her as she turns. She pushes his head away and manages to get her back to him, then bends forward and puts her hands on her knees – her arse stuck out behind her. The huge beast’s head is level with her arse, his cold nose nuzzling between her arse-cheeks, his big tongue exploring between her thighs – working that pussy. Tasting that honey-pot. The dancer gasping as the hot wet tongue drags between her pussy lips and over her clit.

She moans and gasps as he stands behind her, working her pussy with his tongue. Her trying to maintain her balance as his massive head pushes toward her snatch, between her thighs from behind. She’s reaching back to take a butt-cheek in each hand and spread them wide, hoping he’ll turn his attention to licking her arsehole next...

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Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e18 Sylvia Distin 55 from Chelmsford

We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

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