The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)s9e4: Wendy Smith (28), From Barry free porn video
We open with an establishing montage – shots of a classic 1960’s school campus – brick and glass, with lots of green wooden panels, everything very square, flat roofs, boring. Kids spilling out – scruffy kids in white shirts and black trousers ... Jumping infront of the camera as they pass. Some of them trying to look cool, one girl in particular striking a pose, skirt up to show off her thigh, hand behind head – but far too young to be the subject of our show ... Then we’re in the staff car-park – a nice car-park with spaces arranged around a central garden with trees and benches, a quiet space for teachers to enjoy away from the students.
Walking out from between those trees, toward camera, speaking like a professional tv host – albeit a scruffy, fat, cockney one – it’s our only male host, Dennis ... This week, rather than having his handsome Doberman by his side, he’s carrying what appears to be a heavy black bucket as he begins his introduction. “Hello, and welcome to another edition of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ ... I’m your host, Dennis Baxter, and this week we’re in Barry, in Souf Wales, to meet another DIR-TEE SLUT ... The citizens of the UK of Zoo come in all shapes and sizes, and have a variety of desires, and this week there’s something a little different on the menu ... A lady who is both sexy and disturbed ... Very, very disturbed!” He looks down to the bucket in his hand, then up to us with a little nod.
We cut to a classroom with sinks and ovens, a Home Economics room. 16-year-old students standing up at the front of the class as their teacher demonstrates what they will be cooking today...
She’s fairly young – slim, but a little harsh looking, like she’s in a permanent bad mood. Her facial features are actually bordering on masculine ... Then there’s her short black hair, which is cut in a severe style, thick black rimmed spectacles, and porcelain white skin ... She’s dressed in predominantly black clothing – blouse, trousers. Despite the severe look, and the bad mood face – there’s something about her that interests us ... It’s probably just the fact that she’s on our show!
She’s showing her class how to prepare a fish – the fish, still whole, on the cutting board infront of her, and her showing off her sharp knife – ready to cut into it, but just as she’s about to start, we cut again...
The students are no longer here, and the teacher is talking direct to camera, beginning her introduction – her voice the classic authorities tone of a teacher trying to sound like she’s in control, with a Welsh flavour to it. “My name is Wendy Smith. I’m 28, and I’m a home economics teacher from Barry in Wales ... I’ve always been a pervert – and I want to show the world just how dirty I am by having sex with...” She holds up a half-gutted fish. “Something a little bit more alive than this!!”
We cut to a wider angle, a few seconds later – Wendy standing in the middle of the room, shuffling her weight from one foot to the other, looking mildly impatient.
“I think teaching was a mistake ... I just ... Fucking ... HATE ... Teenagers. I haven’t got the patience for them. I love the ones who want to learn, but the others – that’s most of them – I just ... Oh ... I could kill the lot of them. Poison them with a taste test or something!” She seems to think this is funny rather than psychotic.
Then she’s talking again, “I don’t have a partner at the moment, which is frustrating ... I’ve had boyfriends because, you know, I’m not baaaaaad looking...” We can’t argue – she’s no beauty queen, but she’s no ugly duckling either. She continues, “ ... So it can be a bit frustrating ... I want to go home and talk about my day, and vent my frustration, but my ex’s all say I complain too much ... So, I just get more and more frustrated, and that becomes a kind-of sexual energy ... So I just end up masturbating all the time. Finish work, go home, play with myself, shower - then bed ... Usually playing with myself in the shower, and in bed ... I’ve got a dildo ... But what I really like to do is touch myself with something ‘real’, something ‘fresh’, ‘alive’...”
She pauses, firing a look at each member of our crew, as if she’s waiting for someone to make a smartarse comment. No-one does, because we’re a very accepting crew.
“I’ve masturbated with vegetables, and even with fish from the shops ... But I’ve never tried it with something that’s still breathing and moving around ... I can’t imagine how good that will feel ... To feel it wriggling around as it dies inside me...” She pauses. “That probably sounds completely demented and cruel ... But it’s a perverted desire, it’s supposed to be demented! I can’t control what turns me on!”
We can’t argue with this comment – no one controls what turns them on, that’s why we have our show after all...
She’s still talking, trying to explain herself – not looking as if she’s worried anyone will judge her, just wanting to be clear... “Fish ... They’re cold blooded ... No-one ever seems to care about them ... The things I think about, if I thought them about a dog or a horse, everyone would say it’s disgusting ... But with fish ... I can think and do whatever I want and not feel bad...”
She’s not well ... But we’re not here to discriminate, and we’ve already got the bucket full of ... We pan down to it – looking inside and seeing 6 inches of water, with half a dozen two-foot-long eels swirling and wriggling around it.
We pan back up to Wendy, who’s crouching down over the bucket, looking down into it, a strange smile on her face – transfixed. Her blouse is loose, and as she leans forward we can see the curve of her inverted cleavage hanging down ... She looks up at us, raises her hands, and feeling the need to be different – she clicks her fingers – and we cut to...
Exactly the same location, framed exactly the same way - but Wendy is now completely naked (except for her thick rimmed spectacles). Still on her knees bent forward over the bucket, but now with those tits hanging loose ... Her body pale and slim, her breasts nicely rounded, and as she straightens up we see a thin little landing strip of perfectly trimmed pubic hair leading two inches up from her cunt ... And she’s looking at us with that strange smile on her face, then looking back down at the bucket ... One hand on her thigh, the other hovering in the air just above the bucket ... Pausing ... Not looking away from the squirming eels as she asks, “Is it okay if I just dive right in?”
We cut to a behind the scenes shot of Dennis, looking and sounding vaguely confused, shrugging as he says, “Yeah, whatever ... I’ve no idea how this thing works ... Eels is weird!”
We cut back to Wendy, her hand still hovering over the eels – ready to go, but showing just a hint of nerves ... Pausing, then shuffling forward so that her knees are on either side of the bucket, her thighs pressed against the plastic, feeling the cold of the water within ... She rests her buttocks down to the floor between her heels, then a flicker of a smile crosses her face and she drops her hand into the bucket...
She swirls it around, letting the eels squirm through her fingers, trying to grab one – biting her bottom lip as she thinks about what she’s about to do, controlling her breathing ... And then catching hold of something she likes – and lifting it out of the water...
In the air it looks awkward and slimy, as fat as a Rottweiler’s cock, but obviously much longer – and wriggling/squirming about. She’s holding it about six inches from the head, her fingertips almost meeting her thumb tip ... Around 18 inches of writhing flesh hang from the back of her fist.
She brings it to her body, holding it so that the tail hangs down between her round boobs – letting that cold, wet tail slap against her skin ... Letting out an “OOOooo!” sound as the long fish wriggles from side-to side, slapping against the insides of her cleavage, sending cold water dribbling down over her belly.
She raises the eels head up toward hers, moving it face-to-face – holding the gasping open mouth infront of hers, and pouting as she looks down at it ... Then moving it toward her lips, pushing them out and ‘kissing’ the cold fish. It continues gasping for air as she continues the kiss, pushing the head slowly between her lips – sucking the ‘nose’, then pushing deeper ... Deeper and deeper, as if she is beginning a blow-job, but with an eel’s head rather than a cock ... The whole head in her mouth, her lips wrapped around it, rubbing over it’s eyes as she pushes it in and out – her eyes closed.
After sucking it for a few more seconds, she lets her lips drag along it’s body and head as she pulls it out – the eels head appearing, mouth particularly wide as it tries to breath out of water...
She holds in infront of her face, opening her eyes and smiling at it... “You’re going to taste a lot better after I’ve fucked you!”
We cut to a wider shot, and watch as Wendy shuffles back from the bucket, leaning back and straightening her legs out. She lays on her back, then raises her knees and spreads her thighs – exposing the lips of her pussy, thin and neat, a little cracked coconut of a cunt.
She brings the eel down over her body, dangling it against her boobs, then rubbing and sliding it down over her flattish belly, and down between her thighs ... She lets out little squeaks and gasps as she rubs the head down and over her twat. Rolling her hips and pushing her pelvis upwards to meet the fish she’s holding against herself.
She rubs the head over her pussy, poking the nose/tip of the jaw between her lips, and running it up and down her crack ... Twisting her pelvis up and down, her belly bouncing, her spare hand moving from one round tit to the other, pinching the nipples, pulling gently on them.
She tries to get the mouth of the eel over her clit – holding it there as if she’s hoping it will bite, lick or suck on her clit ... It doesn’t – so she rubs it’s face all over it instead ... Then, once she’s primed and soaking – she pushes the head deeper between her lips, then works fist-over-fist to push a good ten inches of the cold fish into her body...
She’s gasping as the slimy creature slides into her flesh ... The kind of gasp you hear when a girl jumps into cold water ... The shocking, slimy, sexy sensation of the cold-blooded creature entering her body is quite unlike anything she has ever felt before...
And then she’s pumping it ... Ten inches to a foot of eel inside her, the same amount of tail flapping around outside – and her wanking it as if she’s just grown a huge, deformed cock of her own ... In and out, slow and deep ... Her body jerking and twitching as she entertains herself.
She jerks it like this for a little while – slow, long strokes, pushing the fish deep into her cunt, then sliding it six inches out, making sure she leaves the head well inside ... Speeding up, her breathing speeding up as she pumps it in and out of her body...
Then she’s going fist-over-fist again, gripping the shaft of the fish and pushing it deeper, then moving her grip along its body and pushing deeper again ... Easing the whole thing inside her, her belly spasming as she pushes it deep ... It’s tail not quite disappearing inside her, the flat tip poking about two inches out of her ... The rest of the cold beast must be twisting and coiling up deep inside her snatch.
Judging by the way she’s arching her back, and jerking around, this must feel very good to her ... And her continued moans and gasps confirm this...
She brings both hands up to her tits and fondles them – squeezing the boobs and pinching the nipples as the coiling, writhing fish in her cunt drives her wild ... And as she fondles herself, she writhes, and as the eel moves around it gets closer to popping back out of her...
Her moans get louder as the eel’s body appears between her pussy lips ... A coil of its body, doubled-back on itself – a loop – splitting the lips ... And then, as it continues to try to turn around, the ugly little head pops out and its mouth opens as if gasping for air...
As its head pops out of her pussy, Wendy also has her mouth open wide, gasping for air, loving this new experience ... On the edge of cumming to the strange, cold and slimy sensation...
And then the whole eel slips and slides out of her body ... Twenty-two inches of cold, ugly fish, slithering through her pussy lips in one, long, continuous and fast motion. Wendy’s whole body shakes in reaction – but she’s silent ... The sensation too good to describe with simple moans or gasps ... Just a silent shake ... Hands resting on her tits, but no longer squeezing ... Just holding ... She looks like she’s either going to throw up or explode with pure joy...
We pan down to look at the eel on the floor between her thighs ... It’s still alive, trying to move on the wet lino, but just slithering around in the same place.
We cut to another behind the scenes shot of Dennis, raising his eyebrows as if to say he doesn’t understand what’s going on. He looks at our sound-man, Richard, and asks (doubtfully), “Is this a turn-on?”
Richard nods enthusiastically, but doesn’t speak ... Then focuses back on the action ... Dennis looks even more confused.
We cut to a moment later, Wendy has caught her breath and is kneeling next to that bucket again, her bottom on her heels ... The first eel still twisting slowly on the floor beside her.
Uma
- 09.10.2021
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