The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)S11:E01: Jenna McCartney (45) free porn video

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Jenna McCartney (45), from Chicago (USA), at the Radisson Blu Hotel, Manchester Airport.

We open this edition, the first of the new series, with the classic shot of an aeroplane coming in to land at a large airport. Then we cut to look at an arrivals board, seeing the numbers flickering over to confirm that flight BA100 from New York has arrived ... Then we’re watching the skyway as passengers shuffle along with that ‘8 hours on a plane’ look ... Focusing in on one particular passenger – and she’s stunning ... Casually dressed in a knee length dress that looks both comfortable and sexy, her blonde hair and make-up make it look like she’s just stepped out of the salon rather than off the plane – walking in what seems to be a natural slow-motion, like the world is slowing down to let us admire her...

Blonde, slim, top heavy, beautiful ... She almost floats through the crowd as they walk. If we didn’t know better, we’d swear this was American actress and tv personality Jenny McCarthy – but for legal reasons, we have to make it clear that she isn’t Jenny McCarthy. Definitely not.

We hear her speak in voice-over, with a light and friendly American accent, “My name’s Jenna McCartney ... I’m a former Playboy playmate of the month - I’ve presented shows on MTV ... I’ve acted in movies and on tv ... And, you know, I’ve gotten to that point in my career where it’s time to fade away – and I don’t wanna do that ... I want to be remembered ... So today, I’m here in Manchester, England ... To do something that will keep me famous forever!”

We cut to the meet and greet area, a small crowd waiting to welcome loved ones home ... Luke Ozvik holding up a sign that says McCARTNEY (although it clearly said McCARTHY – but an NE has been over-written on the H) – it appears that even HE was confused about who was flying in today. Then we see silver doors slide open and our beauty walking out in slow-motion, looking super-confident.

We cut to a hotel room. Everything set up for the interview than always starts our show ... Our usually camera shy producer has taken the unusual step of appearing on camera, sitting on the edge of the bed to interview his stunning all-America guest (still wearing that knee-length, figure hugging dress, but no longer carrying her travel bag).

“Hello Jenny...” he begins, still apparently under the apparent misapprehension that he’s with the great Jenny McCarthy. “Welcome to our show...”

“Thankyou” she smiles, flashing insanely white American teeth.

Ozvik spells out the situation as Jenna nods and continues to smile. “You’ve just stepped off a flight from New York ... We’ve just walked over to the Radisson Blu hotel and checked into your room ... And we’re going to shoot your scene right now...”

“Yes ... That’s right.” Confirms Jenna with a tight-lipped smile suggesting she’s almost thinking twice about what she’s doing. Almost. “It’s something I want to do before I change my mind ... Right now, I’m horny as hell, but if I get a good night’s sleep and a chance to think about what this job might do to my career – I might change my mind...” She pauses, the flashes those teeth again as her big smile returns, “ ... But I don’t want change my mind!”

Ozvik continues to switch the microphone, pointing it at himself as he speaks, then over to Jenna when it’s her turn. In reality, the interview audio is picked up by our skilled boom-mic operator, Richard the Sound Man. “So, the obvious question ... The big question ... Is ... What’s a nice girl like you doing on a bestiality show?”

Jenna takes a breath, turning slightly toward camera to answer... “Well ... I’m proud to announce ... That I am re-locating from the United States of America...” She suppresses a laugh. “ ... To the United Kingdom...” Another pause, smiling with excitement, “ ... To be one of the hosts of the dirtiest show on television - ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’”

Our crew is small – a sound man, two camera-men, a lighting tech, production assistant, and Ozvik our producer ... But they muster together a reasonable little round of applause to welcome Jenna to the team.

She calms them with a hand in the air, wanting to talk again soon... “Buuuuut ... I can’t host a bestiality show ... If I’ve never tried bestiality!” She smiles again, half embarrassed.

“So...” Begins Ozvik, “ ... Are we supposed to believe you’ve accepted a job hosting this show – and you’ve never even had sex with a dog?”

Jenna shakes her head in disbelief, “It doesn’t matter whether you believe me or not – the fact is I’ve never done it ... I’ve thought about it – so many times ... I’ve watched videos ... I’ve watched, like, every – episode – of – your – show ... And the more I see, the more I want to do it ... So when I wrote to you to ask if you needed a new host – it was like, an excuse, to come over here and have some doggy fun ... And hopefully, one day, maybe some piggy fun – and some horsey fun ... And whatever else ... Really ... I’m down for whatever disgusting shit you want to have me do.”

We cut to a different angle, almost behind the scenes footage, as she confirms, “I figure that once I’ve done this my old career, Playboy, MTV, all that shit ... Is OVER ... Like, done! So I have to make the most of the new one ... You know...?”

Back to her interview as Ozvik takes control, “I suppose we should check the merchandise before we move forward with this arrangement ... We need to know if we’re getting what we saw on the internet...”

Jenna looks a little doubtful, then cracks a smile – she knew she was going to have to get naked, and she doesn’t really have any issue with it... “Weeeeell ... I need to take a shower to get the airplane smell off me, and you guys are welcome to watch...”

In the next shot, Jenna is in the shower - naked, shining and soapy, with hot water pounding against her smooth flesh. She looks as good as any 45-year-old woman has ever looked. Her boobs are fake, but not bolt-on fake. Her belly impossibly flat, her arse tight, her legs nicely shaped. She smooths the soapy water around her body, focusing on those great tits of hers ... Talking to us the whole time...

“I wouldn’t say I’m actually into bestiality ... Not obsessed with it ... But I definitely want to try it ... And I’m sure I’ll enjoy it, because I just enjoy all sex ... It looks so hot and heavy, and dirty ... It’s like when I fuck another woman ... I’m not a lesbian, but I love fucking women ... It’s just a hobby though – not a lifestyle...” She laughs.

“But I’m not here because doing it turns me on ... I’m here because I really like the idea of being there introduce new girls to the dogs, to help them out ... But before I can do that, I need to get lots of experience with lots of dogs, so I know what I’m doing ... So I’m here for a crash course...” She soaps her tits a little more, holding them toward our camera before adding, “And to show off, of course!”

We cut back to the bedroom, watching Jenna toweling off beside the bed, working on her hair – completely comfortable with the crew and the cameras focusing on her amazing naked body.

“I just can’t wait to get started ... That’s why I asked to do this right here, right after the flight ... I don’t want to wait another minute...”

Ozvik responds from behind the camera, a touch of excitement in his voice... “Well, I know we can’t wait either – and I’m sure our viewers will want us to get on with it as well ... So, without further ado ... I think it’s time for us to bring in your co-stars...”

Jenna’s face lights up even brighter, and she almost drops her towel altogether, “Co-starSSSSS!” She emphasizes the plural with an almost unbridled sense of excitement – then turns on the bed to look at the room door as it opens...

First in is a muscular white beast with a domed forehead ... He’s about 22 inches to the shoulder, solidly built. He hustles into the room, his little tail wagging feverishly ... Obviously excited by all the people and cameras...

“This is Buddy ... Buddy is a Bull Terrier ... He’s 2-and-a-half years-old and he’s only just started servicing women ... You will be his third conquest...”

Jenna looks up from the dome headed beast and smiles into camera, “Oooooh ... That makes me feel special!”

Behind him, the second beast is a grey-coloured, muscle-bound hound, a little taller, and more muscular than the first dog, with a wider head and a definite smile...

Ozvik gives us a little more commentary, “And this is Cooper ... He’s an American Bulldog ... He’s 5 years old and he’s been making ladies scream since before Buddy was born...”

We watch from the side of the room as these two mean-looking creatures rush around, bouncing around at everyone’s feet – sniffing and snorting ... Cooper, the bulldog, figures out what’s going on before Buddy, zeroing in on the sexy blonde beside the bed.

“OOOhhh ... Coooooperrrrr!” Sighs Jenna as she fends the animal off – bending forward to push him away playfully – always playfully.

As he circles around, looking for a new angle to run at the nude ... The other beast hurries around looking for attention from the crew.

Jenna sits back on the bed and gets comfortable, smiling up to the camera and nodding – she’s ready to start – and we’re ready to watch...

Cooper turns back toward our host/guest/Playboy model, and pushes up between her knees – not getting too much resistance this time - raising his head up between her thighs and slopping his tongue out over her pussy, sliding it over her soft pussy lips.

She reacts like she’s been hit by lightning, her body going rigid, her hands on top of the dog’s wide head, but not blocking or pushing him away... “Oooohh Goooddddd!”

Raising her head and looking down at him as he continues to lick, her mouth hanging open in amazement...

Snapping back to reality – remembering where she is, that the cameras are here recording the moment, and that’s she’s still effectively auditioning for a job on the show – she half looks up at the camera, trying to control herself, and adding commentary. “You see this ... On videos, and ... Ooohhh ... You just don’t ... Realise ... How good it feels...”

She lets him lick a little more, pushing his head down when he begins to move away, and adding, “It’s not just ... A physical thing ... It’s ... It’s knowing that you’re ... Ooohhhh ... Doing this ... With a dog...” She looks right into camera now, repeating herself with a sense of the incredulous. “With a fucking dog!”

Right on cue, the other dog – Buddy - leaps onto the bed ... She has just enough time to exclaim “Two dogs!” before he has staggered over to her face and planted his tongue across her overly made-up cheek to her thickly lip-sticked lips ... Smearing the lot and immediately ruining the make-up.

She reacts by raising her chin and opening her mouth slightly – letting the dome-headed beasty lick over her lips and between her lips, moving her head to make sure each of his tongue swipes passes into or over her mouth. Humming/moaning her approval.

He licks for a little while before growing bored and moving down toward her pussy to see what Cooper is licking ... His approach making Cooper growl a little, then stop and back off, taking another happy, tail-wagging, circuit of the room – ignoring the naked Playboy playmate on the bed and checking if there’s anyone else here to fuck...

Buddy takes over licking her cunt. Whereas Cooper was on the floor licking up at her, Buddy is standing above her, licking down ... The angle gives him less access, but means he’s working almost exclusively on her clit ... Which she loves!

Arching her back and bringing both hands up to her fantastic tits, squeezing them firmly as the dog’s tongue makes short work of her ... The combination of his hunger and speed, the angle, her being primed by the American bulldog, and the fact that she’s with a dog, enough to put her over the edge to a shaking, jerking orgasm ... We’ve barely started and she’s already shaking. She’s in for a big afternoon!

We watch as she arches her back, twists her body, squeezes her tits and breaths hard ... It’s not a noisy orgasm, but it’s definitely a good one. Within a few seconds she’s covered with sweat and goosebumps, and she’s pretty much out of breath.

We cut to a shot of her a little later, sitting up on the bed, still catching her breath, a big white-toothed smile. Sweeping blonde hair out of her face and looking toward our camera.

“A dog just made me cum!” She states. “A fucking dog ... Licked my pussy, until I came!” She’s amazed. “There are women who can’t make me cum that quick!” Shaking her head. “Fuccckk!!”

“If that’s blown your mind, wait until you feel it when they fuck you!” Notes Ozvik from behind the camera, which makes Jenna smile even wider, shaking her head and holding up her hands o either side of her face, making an explosion sound and movement, ‘mind-blown’.

Then she’s down on the floor, on her knees, pushing Cooper away, then pushing Buddy away, then pushing Cooper again, as the two animals vie for position, each wanting to mount the bitch first!

She looks away from them, over to one of our cameras, adding more commentary. “So, I’ve been in your lovely country for just over an hour ... One of these lovely doggies has already made me cum ... And now ... I can’t believe this is actually happening ... I’m about to let these two beautiful beasts tag-team me!”

And with that she pushes them away one more time then leans forward onto her hands, those firm tits hanging down ... Then leans further forward, shifting down from hands to elbows, being her big tits closer to the carpet, pushing her firm arse up into the air, angling the base of her spine down so that her pussy sticks out back between her thighs ... And it’s a beautiful pussy. The kind pornographers love – clean shaven with the neatest labial lips you could ever hope for, and just a thin slit of glistening pink flesh within...

Buddy and Cooper both head behind her at speed, and both attempt to mount her – one from either side of her rear end. The younger dog is actually there first, pushing his ugly forehead under the neck of the bulldog, trying to push him out of the way as he staggers around her, hindpaws stepping over her calves as he attempts to get into good fucking position...

Cooper remains mounted side-on, pumping his crotch toward the American blonde, but lacking the brain-power to realise that he has with no hope of actually penetrating her from this angle.

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We fade in on high street – plenty of people around, obviously not during the Coronavirus lockdown. The camera swings around to face a bank, then moves in through the doors – past a member of staff on the front desk who waves at whoever is holding the camera (clearly knowing them) ... The camera moves past a line of customers and up to one of the cash windows ... The clerk behind the window looks up... She’s middle-aged, with a tired, almost ‘loose’ looking face – one of those big mouths...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e20 Tina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re looking at a sandy beach on a perfect summer’s day – small waves rolling...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e7 Siobhan

Series 4, Episode 7: SIOBHAN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re in the middle of a busy food-court - restaurants...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e1 Sammy Murty

We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E01 Christina Bruce 42 from Belfast

With series 12 completed, we roll straight through into series 13 - the same hosts, doing the same things all over again ... Aren’t we getting bored of this yet? Well, it appears not ... So... We start this week’s show with establishing shots of quiet suburban streets – semi-detached homes, very middle class and safe... And then, stepping into frame from the side, moving from behind the camera to infront - this week’s host ... Still the nation’s least likely sex symbol – short, fat,...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e15 Donna Ferry 51

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e8 Rosie

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e9 Shelly

Series 4, Episode 9: SHELLEY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town. Out of season and on a windy, cold and rainy day, the place is virtually...

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